(One-Shot) Finding Myself (Part 2)
=------------Six Months Later----------=
“Here, Yunho-ah, take this box into the kitchen.” Yunho’s mother called, pointing to a large, cardboard box marked “kitchen”.
“Yunho turned at the sound of his mother’s voice, eyes straying to the box she was gesturing at. “Yes, Omma.” He responded with a soft smile, his long legs quickly covering the distance between himself and the box that was sitting on the driveway.
Yunho had tried to be happy and accept his wife. He’d tried to feel pleased when she made him dinner or did something romantic for him. Everyone seemed to believe his life, always saying how in love he and Tiffany were. Even Tiffany seemed to believe that Yunho really loved her.
But that was all a lie. There wasn’t a night that passed when Yunho didn’t dream about his lover.
It seemed as if the year had passed so slowly, dragging its feet in an attempt to make Yunho miserable.
“Yunnie-ah!” He inwardly cringed at the petname, “Look at how I arranged the kitchen.” Tiffany beamed, eyes aglow with a proud gleam.
“That’s good, Tiffany-ah.” Yunho offered her the smile he’d perfected over the months he’d been married to her. It was a smile that was meant to show tender love and devotion. Tiffany always believed the false promises that smile offered.
“Can’t you just imagine raising our children here?” Tiffany breathed, small eyes alight with happiness.
Yunho sat looking at her for a moment, willing himself to feel some kind of affection for her. He couldn’t feel anything towards her, not even pity that she had gotten married to someone that didn’t love her. “I’m sure this will be a loving home, especially with you here to take care of it.” He breathed softly as he pulled her into a hug. He knew that if he didn’t offer voluntary touch, that Tiffany’s fragile nature would be hurt.
Tiffany’s responding giggle of pleasure was buried within his chest, the soft sound sending shivers down his back. He wished that his feelings towards her would be anything but revulsion, he didn’t want to hate her anymore. It wasn’t as if he didn’t love Hankyung, but something within Yunho, some core instinct, told him that he married Tiffany and so he should stick by her till the end. After all, he had vowed “till death do us part”. So did that vow hold no meaning now? Was it something that could be taken so lightly and then tossed away whenever it didn’t suit him anymore?
“So whenever we have our first child they can have that room.”
Tiffany’s voice pulled Yunho from his thoughts, a slight guilt washing over him as he realized that he’d missed everything Tiffany had been saying to him. “That sounds like a perfect idea, Tiffany-ah.” Yunho offered his small wife a smile, knowing that it didn’t really matter if he heard her or not, she was just looking for his approval.
She beamed up at him for a moment, her happiness clearly reflected in her large eyes, obviously she’d been looking for the approval of her husband.
“So when do you think it will be?” She asked in an almost timid voice, her eyes full of hope as she stared up at Yunho.
“I can’t really say for sure.” Yunho hedged, a feeling of disgust creeping up his spine at the thought of having a child with Tiffany. It had taken all of his strength to share the same bed with her, so how was he going to father her child?
“I hope it’s soon.” Tiffany giggled, a blush whispering across her cheeks as she buried her head in Yunho’s chest once again.
“You two are so sweet together.” Yunho’s mother laughed lightly as she strolled into the room and saw the two standing in each other’s arms.
Tiffany lifted her head and let loose a beaming smile, her eyes bright as she stared at her mother-in-law, “thank you so much for helping us move in!” She gushed in her childish voice of innocence as she offered the older woman a bow.
“It was my pleasure Tiffany. I’m just glad that you’re making my Yunho happy.” Yunho fought a grimace at his mother’s words, hating how everyone referred to him as “my Yunho” or “our Yunho”, or even “your Yunho”. When did he get to be his own person? When would people stop controlling his life and forcing him to do things he did want to do? When would he become Yunho’s Yunho?
=-------Six Months Later---------=
With a soft sigh Yunho let the pages of the calendar fall back into place, his eyes mournful and longing as he stared at the small boxes that dotted the page. Already a year-and-a-half without his Hankyung, without his addiction. Yunho remembered how he’d longed for Hankyung to a point of physical pain in the earlier days. He’d had trouble getting out of bed, his nightmares of Hankyung leaving forever, paralyzing his body. Things had gotten easier as time went on, of course. He had to act happy for Tiffany and his family, or else his carefully maintained lie would shatter around him.
“Is something wrong Yunnie-ah?” Tiffany questioned softly as she slipped her arm around Yunho’s waist, large eyes staring up at him.
“Just marveling at how fast the year seems to be slipping by.” Yunho muttered down at his wife with a forced smile, making himself display a loving look within his eyes. Over the year he’d been married to Tiffany, Yunho had found himself dithering between hating her and having slight affection for her. In the beginning, Yunho hadn’t given a second thought to Tiffany’s feelings, not really caring if she was heartbroken at the end of things; however, as time had gone by, he had grown to see Tiffany as more than an object through which he could obtain Hankyung. No, he wasn’t the monster he had been at the beginning of their marriage, though he was still a monster nonetheless. He’d found Tiffany to be a very understanding person, full to the brim with true compassion and caring. She had no show or pomp about her, simply living life the way she thought it should be lived. Yunho envied her ability to shrug off what other people said about her, envied the ability to throw away the bad judgments and simply move on without a thought.
“I’m going to get ready for bed.” Yunho breathed down at her with a slightly melancholic smile, his eyes skimming over her upturned face. That peace he saw within those small eyes would be gone within six months. A pity, really.
“Alright.” She smiled up at him, eyes bright and full of unspoken love.
“Good night, Love.” Yunho breathed, bending to plant a quick kiss on her upturned mouth.
“Night, Yunnie.” Tiffany beamed up at Yunho, her pleasure at Yunho’s endearment clear on her face.
Yunho offered her a forced smile before he moved into the small bathroom that was connected to his and Tiffany’s bedroom. With a soft sigh, Yunho let the door swing shut, his back resting against it after it had shut. He felt so tired. So tired of going through every day as a lie; tired of telling people one thing while meaning the exact opposite. But, what he missed and was the most tired of living without was his Hankyung. Yes, the pain had lessened over the year he’d been away from Hankyung; however, a raw, pulsing pain had filled his chest, giving him a feeling as if his heart had been ripped from his chest.
“I can’t do this anymore.” He whimpered, his words edged in a sob. He hadn’t cried for a whole year and a half, not willing or able to let himself sink into a chasm of pain and loneliness.
With another strangled sob, Yunho gripped his chest, fingers clenching around the material of his grey shirt as he sank to the floor.
The first wave of harsh sobs hit him, shaking his whole body as the silent tears ran down his face. He had so many people around him, and yet he’d never felt so alone or incomplete. It seemed that everything he loved in life was gone. His favorite good had lost their flavors; the colors of the world around him were fading slowly to black and white. Every smile was faked and forced, every caring or loving word a complete lie/ He was fake to his very core, his true identity drowning beneath the act he was forced to play in his everyday life. He didn’t even know who he was anymore, his vision clouded by the personalities that everyone pressed him into. Who was Jung Yunho and what did he believe? What were his values? Who did he really love? Yunho didn’t know anymore, couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually relaxed and been himself.
Yunho’s outburst of emotion had faded into hiccupping sobs, his eyes red and swollen as he stared blankly at the tan cabinets. The pain of missing Hankyung was almost numbing in its intensity.
‘Get up.’ A voice in his head commanded, taking control of his frayed emotions. ‘Wash your face and then go to bed.’ Yunho didn’t know how he managed to get his numb body off the floor, or how he made it through the motions of changing his clothes and washing his face. But, he did, and he soon found himself gripping the doorknob of the bathroom door. “I can’t let that happen again.” He told himself firmly, shoving his battered emotions back into the crowded closet of his brain.
With one last calming breath, he pull the door open, his eyes flickering towards the bed to find Tiffany sitting on the bed, a brow shoe-box open in front of her. Yunho felt his stomach drop.
“What are you doing?” He asked softly, watching as Tiffany jumped, dropping a photo of Yunho and Hankyung.
“My p-pillow fell of the bed a-and when I bent to get it….I s-saw this box.” She blushed and looked towards the bed.
“Those are my things.” Yunho breathed, trying to keep from exploding at her.
“I-I know. I’m sorry, Yunnie.” She lifted her gaze to meet his, small eyes full of tears.
“Never mind.” He growled, moving forward to take the box away from Tiffany.
“Who is he?” She muttered softly as Yunho began to put away the photos of Hankyung.
“An old friend.” Yunho responded shortly, his gaze never straying to Tiffany. He wondered how much she’d seen of his “Hankyung Box”. He knew that there were several letters at the bottom of the picture box, which probably had enough clues for Tiffany to guess his relationship with Hankyung.
“Why haven’t I ever met him?” Tiffany questioned softly as she grazed at a picture of Hankyung kissing Yunho’s cheek.
“He left for China about a year and a half ago.” Yunho muttered as he closed the lid and slid the box underneath the bed once again. He would have to re-hide it the next morning.
“I’m really sorry, Yunho.” She breathed, dropping the use of his pet name to show that she was being serious.
“It’s fine.” He breathed, not wanting to upset her or give her reason to doubt his loyalty.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Tiffany-ah.” Yunho sighed as he crawled into the bed and pulled Tiffany down next to him. Her small body felt odd to hold, soft and un-muscled. Female. Yunho didn’t like the feeling of having a woman in his arms. Too soft and breakable. He was used to holding nothing back when it came to his lovers; however, now he had to worry about hurting Tiffany or making her cry.
“Saranghae.” Tiffany breathed, burying her face into Yunho’s chest.
“Ne, saranghae.” Yunho whispered back in an act of pure habit, his arms gently pulling her closer. He’d gotten quite good at faking love.
=---------------------------=
The next day seemed to go smoothly for Yunho, even though his heart still ached for Hankyung.
He had hoped the day would go smoothly after he’d finished a rather successful meeting at work. However, when he got home that night, he found Tiffany sitting in the middle of the living room, the contents of his box lying scattered around her sitting form.
“What are you doing?” Yunho breathed, horror sweeping through his body as the scene before him sank in. It was all over.
“I couldn’t help myself.” Tiffany breathed, turning teary eyes towards Yunho. “So I thought I would just look through the picture and see what your friend was like…” She trailed off, small fingers picking up a picture of Hankyung wrapped in Yunho’s arms and their lips pressed firmly together.
“I was kind of shocked when I saw this photo…” She trailed off again, her sobs causing the letter in her hand to tremble. “How could you do this to me?” She sobbed, motioning towards the letter.
Yunho figured that was probably the letter Hankyung had sent to remind Yunho of their agreement.
“Without you, I couldn’t have Hankyung.” Yunho responded in a numb voice, eyes dull as he stared down at his wife.
“I can’t believe you did this to me!” Tiffany burst as she stood from the floor and glared at Yunho.
“I fucking hate you!” The glass stand of a lamp was thrown to the ground, shattering and spraying chunks of glass across the hard-wood floor.
“You fucking marry me and then run off to some whore!” Anger burned hot in the small eyes of the Korean woman, her face contorted with rage. Just underneath that rage, however, was the obvious sign of her heartache and pain.
“I can’t stand you anymore!” Yunho fired back, his voice edging into a yell. “You’re controlling and nosy!” His words were cruel, showing that he didn’t care if he hurt her all the more.
“I’m controlling?” She fired back at him, hands searching for something else that she could throw or break in a sad attempt to smash her anger and pain. She knew it would do no good, but that wouldn’t stop her from trying.
“Yes!” He gripped his hair, eyes dark as he glared at her, “I don’t even know why I let people force me into marring you!” He shouted, tone dark with anger that mirrored that of his wife’s.
“That’s a good question! Why didn’t you marry your little whore?” There was a split-second of pause, the air between the two charged with hate and anger, “That’s right! You’re little whore is another man!” She swept her arm across the kitchen table, sending a vase full of dead flowers toppling to the floor.
“Shut-up!” He shouted at her, not even flinching when dirty water sprayed against his pant-leg.
“Oh! Does the truth bother you? Does it bother you that you go and have sex with someone of the same gender?” Tears were now trekking down her cheeks, eyes aflame with a look of hurt and anger.
“You are a disgusting faggot!” She screamed, moving forward and slapping him across the face.
Her words broke something inside of him, dissolving his control over his anger. He roughly grabbed the hand she’d slapped him with, fingers curling around the delicate wrist with a bruising strength, “don’t you dare call me a faggot, bitch!” He brought his other hand down across her face, his eyes burning hot with anger. He’d gone through so much, held back his anger and pain until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He lied his way into a marriage of show and pomp, hoping that something inside of him would change. But, nothing had, everything he wanted to deny about himself still remained, burning deep within his soul in a fight to remain.
“Do you regret the day you met me?” Tiffany growled, voice dripping with venom. “Well I curse the day I met you, Jung Yunho!” She took of her wedding ring and threw it to the floor, the silver band bouncing slightly before rolling underneath the leather sofa, a tangible element of a bond now broken.
“You’re just a fake cheater who uses other people to get what he wants. Consider our marriage over.” She snapped before snatching up her car keys and heading for the door.
Yunho was suddenly numb, unsure of how to respond or what to do. So he just watched her storm out of the house.
“It’s over.” Yunho breathed, his hands shaking as he moved to stand amidst the mess of photos on the living room floor.
He didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but it seemed like mere seconds later when someone knocked on the door that Tiffany had forgotten to close.
“Aw, are you reminiscing, my dearest Yunnie?” A familiar voice questioned, causing Yunho’s head to snap around towards the door.
“Hankyung?” He breathed softly, staring at the man in front of him. He almost couldn’t believe it.
“Yep,” Hankyung opened his arms and did a little twirl, “it’s really me.”
“Why are you back?” Yunho muttered in a dazed voice, his mind and body still too numb to function properly.
“The school is taking a month off, so I thought I would stop by and say hello.” Hankyung explained, his smile faltering slightly as he saw the broken glass and dead flowers littering the floor. “Is everything alright, Yunnie?” Hankyung asked softly as he moved forward and to wrap his arms around Yunho.
This touch should have thrilled Yunho. Should have helped him to forget all his worries. However, it didn’t do either of those things. Why? Because Yunho realized that the stark reality of everything was that Hankyung had brought all of this upon Yunho. Granted, Yunho had been a stupid, love-struck man, but Hankyung had taken advantage of that and used Yunho and Tiffany for his own amusement.
“What’s wrong?” Hankyung as, glancing at Yunho when the other male failed to return the hug.
“You know, I finally figured out what my problem in life is…” Yunho began in a tired voice as he lifted his hands and pushed Hankyung away. “You’re the problem. You’re the one that got me into this mess…the one that made me lose everything for the simple matter of having you.” Yunho tilted his head slightly and gave the now pale Hankyung a hard stare.
“You said you wanted me to get married so that I could make sure I really wanted to be with you. Now that it’s all over, I’ve decided that I don’t want you, and would have been better off never wanting you in the first place. I’ve lost myself in the short span of a year and six months. I can’t tell you whether I love men or woman…or both! I don’t know where the fake me ends and the real me begins…” Yunho trailed off, his eyes shifting around the room with a blank look. “That’s why I have to leave. I have to get away from everything that represents my old life.” Yunho cast a final glance at Hankyung before he stumbled towards the door, grabbing his car keys and heading towards his car.
“Yun…ho…?” Hankyung breathed as he watched Yunho leave the room. For the first time in his life, Hankyung felt guilty for doing something bad. But it wouldn’t be the last time. No, this flighty young male would have to go through many heartbreaks before he learned to stop toying with people’s emotions. However, the time did come when he learned that lesson and found a person that truly loved him.
Tiffany sank into a deep depression after she left Yunho. The divorce, though simple and quiet, was almost unbearable for the girl. Even though she was a woman with a fighting spirit, her encounter with Yunho left her untrusting of men, and she never did marry or get into another relationship. Though, she did go on to become one of Korea’s top business women.
Yunho left Korea for five years, making his way around the world in an attempt to “find himself”. After his parents heard the “news”, they cut his funding and tried to drain his accounts; however, most of the money within the bank belonged to Yunho, so the male was financially stable for a time. But even with his financially stability and his freedom, Yunho couldn’t seem to find himself. Until, of course, he met a young man by the name of Kim Jaejoong. The beautiful male ran a small bar located on a beach in the Bahamas and was working to become a singer in the future. Yunho hadn’t wanted to get into a relationship at first, his heart still broken from his past experience; however, the influential Jaejoong soon began to show Yunho love didn’t have to be a painful secret that ate away at him. Love could be something that completed Yunho…and that’s exactly what it did.
“Here, Yunho-ah, take this box into the kitchen.” Yunho’s mother called, pointing to a large, cardboard box marked “kitchen”.
“Yunho turned at the sound of his mother’s voice, eyes straying to the box she was gesturing at. “Yes, Omma.” He responded with a soft smile, his long legs quickly covering the distance between himself and the box that was sitting on the driveway.
Yunho had tried to be happy and accept his wife. He’d tried to feel pleased when she made him dinner or did something romantic for him. Everyone seemed to believe his life, always saying how in love he and Tiffany were. Even Tiffany seemed to believe that Yunho really loved her.
But that was all a lie. There wasn’t a night that passed when Yunho didn’t dream about his lover.
It seemed as if the year had passed so slowly, dragging its feet in an attempt to make Yunho miserable.
“Yunnie-ah!” He inwardly cringed at the petname, “Look at how I arranged the kitchen.” Tiffany beamed, eyes aglow with a proud gleam.
“That’s good, Tiffany-ah.” Yunho offered her the smile he’d perfected over the months he’d been married to her. It was a smile that was meant to show tender love and devotion. Tiffany always believed the false promises that smile offered.
“Can’t you just imagine raising our children here?” Tiffany breathed, small eyes alight with happiness.
Yunho sat looking at her for a moment, willing himself to feel some kind of affection for her. He couldn’t feel anything towards her, not even pity that she had gotten married to someone that didn’t love her. “I’m sure this will be a loving home, especially with you here to take care of it.” He breathed softly as he pulled her into a hug. He knew that if he didn’t offer voluntary touch, that Tiffany’s fragile nature would be hurt.
Tiffany’s responding giggle of pleasure was buried within his chest, the soft sound sending shivers down his back. He wished that his feelings towards her would be anything but revulsion, he didn’t want to hate her anymore. It wasn’t as if he didn’t love Hankyung, but something within Yunho, some core instinct, told him that he married Tiffany and so he should stick by her till the end. After all, he had vowed “till death do us part”. So did that vow hold no meaning now? Was it something that could be taken so lightly and then tossed away whenever it didn’t suit him anymore?
“So whenever we have our first child they can have that room.”
Tiffany’s voice pulled Yunho from his thoughts, a slight guilt washing over him as he realized that he’d missed everything Tiffany had been saying to him. “That sounds like a perfect idea, Tiffany-ah.” Yunho offered his small wife a smile, knowing that it didn’t really matter if he heard her or not, she was just looking for his approval.
She beamed up at him for a moment, her happiness clearly reflected in her large eyes, obviously she’d been looking for the approval of her husband.
“So when do you think it will be?” She asked in an almost timid voice, her eyes full of hope as she stared up at Yunho.
“I can’t really say for sure.” Yunho hedged, a feeling of disgust creeping up his spine at the thought of having a child with Tiffany. It had taken all of his strength to share the same bed with her, so how was he going to father her child?
“I hope it’s soon.” Tiffany giggled, a blush whispering across her cheeks as she buried her head in Yunho’s chest once again.
“You two are so sweet together.” Yunho’s mother laughed lightly as she strolled into the room and saw the two standing in each other’s arms.
Tiffany lifted her head and let loose a beaming smile, her eyes bright as she stared at her mother-in-law, “thank you so much for helping us move in!” She gushed in her childish voice of innocence as she offered the older woman a bow.
“It was my pleasure Tiffany. I’m just glad that you’re making my Yunho happy.” Yunho fought a grimace at his mother’s words, hating how everyone referred to him as “my Yunho” or “our Yunho”, or even “your Yunho”. When did he get to be his own person? When would people stop controlling his life and forcing him to do things he did want to do? When would he become Yunho’s Yunho?
=-------Six Months Later---------=
With a soft sigh Yunho let the pages of the calendar fall back into place, his eyes mournful and longing as he stared at the small boxes that dotted the page. Already a year-and-a-half without his Hankyung, without his addiction. Yunho remembered how he’d longed for Hankyung to a point of physical pain in the earlier days. He’d had trouble getting out of bed, his nightmares of Hankyung leaving forever, paralyzing his body. Things had gotten easier as time went on, of course. He had to act happy for Tiffany and his family, or else his carefully maintained lie would shatter around him.
“Is something wrong Yunnie-ah?” Tiffany questioned softly as she slipped her arm around Yunho’s waist, large eyes staring up at him.
“Just marveling at how fast the year seems to be slipping by.” Yunho muttered down at his wife with a forced smile, making himself display a loving look within his eyes. Over the year he’d been married to Tiffany, Yunho had found himself dithering between hating her and having slight affection for her. In the beginning, Yunho hadn’t given a second thought to Tiffany’s feelings, not really caring if she was heartbroken at the end of things; however, as time had gone by, he had grown to see Tiffany as more than an object through which he could obtain Hankyung. No, he wasn’t the monster he had been at the beginning of their marriage, though he was still a monster nonetheless. He’d found Tiffany to be a very understanding person, full to the brim with true compassion and caring. She had no show or pomp about her, simply living life the way she thought it should be lived. Yunho envied her ability to shrug off what other people said about her, envied the ability to throw away the bad judgments and simply move on without a thought.
“I’m going to get ready for bed.” Yunho breathed down at her with a slightly melancholic smile, his eyes skimming over her upturned face. That peace he saw within those small eyes would be gone within six months. A pity, really.
“Alright.” She smiled up at him, eyes bright and full of unspoken love.
“Good night, Love.” Yunho breathed, bending to plant a quick kiss on her upturned mouth.
“Night, Yunnie.” Tiffany beamed up at Yunho, her pleasure at Yunho’s endearment clear on her face.
Yunho offered her a forced smile before he moved into the small bathroom that was connected to his and Tiffany’s bedroom. With a soft sigh, Yunho let the door swing shut, his back resting against it after it had shut. He felt so tired. So tired of going through every day as a lie; tired of telling people one thing while meaning the exact opposite. But, what he missed and was the most tired of living without was his Hankyung. Yes, the pain had lessened over the year he’d been away from Hankyung; however, a raw, pulsing pain had filled his chest, giving him a feeling as if his heart had been ripped from his chest.
“I can’t do this anymore.” He whimpered, his words edged in a sob. He hadn’t cried for a whole year and a half, not willing or able to let himself sink into a chasm of pain and loneliness.
With another strangled sob, Yunho gripped his chest, fingers clenching around the material of his grey shirt as he sank to the floor.
The first wave of harsh sobs hit him, shaking his whole body as the silent tears ran down his face. He had so many people around him, and yet he’d never felt so alone or incomplete. It seemed that everything he loved in life was gone. His favorite good had lost their flavors; the colors of the world around him were fading slowly to black and white. Every smile was faked and forced, every caring or loving word a complete lie/ He was fake to his very core, his true identity drowning beneath the act he was forced to play in his everyday life. He didn’t even know who he was anymore, his vision clouded by the personalities that everyone pressed him into. Who was Jung Yunho and what did he believe? What were his values? Who did he really love? Yunho didn’t know anymore, couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually relaxed and been himself.
Yunho’s outburst of emotion had faded into hiccupping sobs, his eyes red and swollen as he stared blankly at the tan cabinets. The pain of missing Hankyung was almost numbing in its intensity.
‘Get up.’ A voice in his head commanded, taking control of his frayed emotions. ‘Wash your face and then go to bed.’ Yunho didn’t know how he managed to get his numb body off the floor, or how he made it through the motions of changing his clothes and washing his face. But, he did, and he soon found himself gripping the doorknob of the bathroom door. “I can’t let that happen again.” He told himself firmly, shoving his battered emotions back into the crowded closet of his brain.
With one last calming breath, he pull the door open, his eyes flickering towards the bed to find Tiffany sitting on the bed, a brow shoe-box open in front of her. Yunho felt his stomach drop.
“What are you doing?” He asked softly, watching as Tiffany jumped, dropping a photo of Yunho and Hankyung.
“My p-pillow fell of the bed a-and when I bent to get it….I s-saw this box.” She blushed and looked towards the bed.
“Those are my things.” Yunho breathed, trying to keep from exploding at her.
“I-I know. I’m sorry, Yunnie.” She lifted her gaze to meet his, small eyes full of tears.
“Never mind.” He growled, moving forward to take the box away from Tiffany.
“Who is he?” She muttered softly as Yunho began to put away the photos of Hankyung.
“An old friend.” Yunho responded shortly, his gaze never straying to Tiffany. He wondered how much she’d seen of his “Hankyung Box”. He knew that there were several letters at the bottom of the picture box, which probably had enough clues for Tiffany to guess his relationship with Hankyung.
“Why haven’t I ever met him?” Tiffany questioned softly as she grazed at a picture of Hankyung kissing Yunho’s cheek.
“He left for China about a year and a half ago.” Yunho muttered as he closed the lid and slid the box underneath the bed once again. He would have to re-hide it the next morning.
“I’m really sorry, Yunho.” She breathed, dropping the use of his pet name to show that she was being serious.
“It’s fine.” He breathed, not wanting to upset her or give her reason to doubt his loyalty.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Tiffany-ah.” Yunho sighed as he crawled into the bed and pulled Tiffany down next to him. Her small body felt odd to hold, soft and un-muscled. Female. Yunho didn’t like the feeling of having a woman in his arms. Too soft and breakable. He was used to holding nothing back when it came to his lovers; however, now he had to worry about hurting Tiffany or making her cry.
“Saranghae.” Tiffany breathed, burying her face into Yunho’s chest.
“Ne, saranghae.” Yunho whispered back in an act of pure habit, his arms gently pulling her closer. He’d gotten quite good at faking love.
=---------------------------=
The next day seemed to go smoothly for Yunho, even though his heart still ached for Hankyung.
He had hoped the day would go smoothly after he’d finished a rather successful meeting at work. However, when he got home that night, he found Tiffany sitting in the middle of the living room, the contents of his box lying scattered around her sitting form.
“What are you doing?” Yunho breathed, horror sweeping through his body as the scene before him sank in. It was all over.
“I couldn’t help myself.” Tiffany breathed, turning teary eyes towards Yunho. “So I thought I would just look through the picture and see what your friend was like…” She trailed off, small fingers picking up a picture of Hankyung wrapped in Yunho’s arms and their lips pressed firmly together.
“I was kind of shocked when I saw this photo…” She trailed off again, her sobs causing the letter in her hand to tremble. “How could you do this to me?” She sobbed, motioning towards the letter.
Yunho figured that was probably the letter Hankyung had sent to remind Yunho of their agreement.
“Without you, I couldn’t have Hankyung.” Yunho responded in a numb voice, eyes dull as he stared down at his wife.
“I can’t believe you did this to me!” Tiffany burst as she stood from the floor and glared at Yunho.
“I fucking hate you!” The glass stand of a lamp was thrown to the ground, shattering and spraying chunks of glass across the hard-wood floor.
“You fucking marry me and then run off to some whore!” Anger burned hot in the small eyes of the Korean woman, her face contorted with rage. Just underneath that rage, however, was the obvious sign of her heartache and pain.
“I can’t stand you anymore!” Yunho fired back, his voice edging into a yell. “You’re controlling and nosy!” His words were cruel, showing that he didn’t care if he hurt her all the more.
“I’m controlling?” She fired back at him, hands searching for something else that she could throw or break in a sad attempt to smash her anger and pain. She knew it would do no good, but that wouldn’t stop her from trying.
“Yes!” He gripped his hair, eyes dark as he glared at her, “I don’t even know why I let people force me into marring you!” He shouted, tone dark with anger that mirrored that of his wife’s.
“That’s a good question! Why didn’t you marry your little whore?” There was a split-second of pause, the air between the two charged with hate and anger, “That’s right! You’re little whore is another man!” She swept her arm across the kitchen table, sending a vase full of dead flowers toppling to the floor.
“Shut-up!” He shouted at her, not even flinching when dirty water sprayed against his pant-leg.
“Oh! Does the truth bother you? Does it bother you that you go and have sex with someone of the same gender?” Tears were now trekking down her cheeks, eyes aflame with a look of hurt and anger.
“You are a disgusting faggot!” She screamed, moving forward and slapping him across the face.
Her words broke something inside of him, dissolving his control over his anger. He roughly grabbed the hand she’d slapped him with, fingers curling around the delicate wrist with a bruising strength, “don’t you dare call me a faggot, bitch!” He brought his other hand down across her face, his eyes burning hot with anger. He’d gone through so much, held back his anger and pain until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He lied his way into a marriage of show and pomp, hoping that something inside of him would change. But, nothing had, everything he wanted to deny about himself still remained, burning deep within his soul in a fight to remain.
“Do you regret the day you met me?” Tiffany growled, voice dripping with venom. “Well I curse the day I met you, Jung Yunho!” She took of her wedding ring and threw it to the floor, the silver band bouncing slightly before rolling underneath the leather sofa, a tangible element of a bond now broken.
“You’re just a fake cheater who uses other people to get what he wants. Consider our marriage over.” She snapped before snatching up her car keys and heading for the door.
Yunho was suddenly numb, unsure of how to respond or what to do. So he just watched her storm out of the house.
“It’s over.” Yunho breathed, his hands shaking as he moved to stand amidst the mess of photos on the living room floor.
He didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but it seemed like mere seconds later when someone knocked on the door that Tiffany had forgotten to close.
“Aw, are you reminiscing, my dearest Yunnie?” A familiar voice questioned, causing Yunho’s head to snap around towards the door.
“Hankyung?” He breathed softly, staring at the man in front of him. He almost couldn’t believe it.
“Yep,” Hankyung opened his arms and did a little twirl, “it’s really me.”
“Why are you back?” Yunho muttered in a dazed voice, his mind and body still too numb to function properly.
“The school is taking a month off, so I thought I would stop by and say hello.” Hankyung explained, his smile faltering slightly as he saw the broken glass and dead flowers littering the floor. “Is everything alright, Yunnie?” Hankyung asked softly as he moved forward and to wrap his arms around Yunho.
This touch should have thrilled Yunho. Should have helped him to forget all his worries. However, it didn’t do either of those things. Why? Because Yunho realized that the stark reality of everything was that Hankyung had brought all of this upon Yunho. Granted, Yunho had been a stupid, love-struck man, but Hankyung had taken advantage of that and used Yunho and Tiffany for his own amusement.
“What’s wrong?” Hankyung as, glancing at Yunho when the other male failed to return the hug.
“You know, I finally figured out what my problem in life is…” Yunho began in a tired voice as he lifted his hands and pushed Hankyung away. “You’re the problem. You’re the one that got me into this mess…the one that made me lose everything for the simple matter of having you.” Yunho tilted his head slightly and gave the now pale Hankyung a hard stare.
“You said you wanted me to get married so that I could make sure I really wanted to be with you. Now that it’s all over, I’ve decided that I don’t want you, and would have been better off never wanting you in the first place. I’ve lost myself in the short span of a year and six months. I can’t tell you whether I love men or woman…or both! I don’t know where the fake me ends and the real me begins…” Yunho trailed off, his eyes shifting around the room with a blank look. “That’s why I have to leave. I have to get away from everything that represents my old life.” Yunho cast a final glance at Hankyung before he stumbled towards the door, grabbing his car keys and heading towards his car.
“Yun…ho…?” Hankyung breathed as he watched Yunho leave the room. For the first time in his life, Hankyung felt guilty for doing something bad. But it wouldn’t be the last time. No, this flighty young male would have to go through many heartbreaks before he learned to stop toying with people’s emotions. However, the time did come when he learned that lesson and found a person that truly loved him.
Tiffany sank into a deep depression after she left Yunho. The divorce, though simple and quiet, was almost unbearable for the girl. Even though she was a woman with a fighting spirit, her encounter with Yunho left her untrusting of men, and she never did marry or get into another relationship. Though, she did go on to become one of Korea’s top business women.
Yunho left Korea for five years, making his way around the world in an attempt to “find himself”. After his parents heard the “news”, they cut his funding and tried to drain his accounts; however, most of the money within the bank belonged to Yunho, so the male was financially stable for a time. But even with his financially stability and his freedom, Yunho couldn’t seem to find himself. Until, of course, he met a young man by the name of Kim Jaejoong. The beautiful male ran a small bar located on a beach in the Bahamas and was working to become a singer in the future. Yunho hadn’t wanted to get into a relationship at first, his heart still broken from his past experience; however, the influential Jaejoong soon began to show Yunho love didn’t have to be a painful secret that ate away at him. Love could be something that completed Yunho…and that’s exactly what it did.