Tag if you want to help out horrified!Jensen [again]
Seriously, what was with his brain lately? He had freaked out around everybody, it felt like it. And frankly? Not only was it embarrassing like all hell, like that one time in middle school when he got pantsed, but it pissed him off a little each time even if the outcome had turned out better than he thought. Jensen felt like he was getting weaker, and... it was really starting to affect him.
And lately? It had been happening more and he was damn positive that half the shit his brain was coming up with never happened to him or the Losers. They did, he noticed, sometimes got really close to something they went though if only a bit different. Even then, things didn’t turn out anymore positively for them. “Alternate universe bullshit,” He muttered to himself, kicking off his shoes and flopping down on the couch. “I’m no comic book hero, brain. You hear me? Cut it out, you’re killing us. Seriously. I’m two seconds away from getting you evaluated like Jenna wants. And you know we both don’t want that.”
Jensen let the covers fall over him, tucking himself in tight. It felt wrong not to have someone on guard to make sure nobody else was sneaking up on him, or the guys, but he was alone. They were finally home. Things were different now. Mostly, anyway. With a sigh, he rolled over, looking more like a caterpillar than ever and wiggled an arm out to take off his glasses before trying to go to sleep. For the longest time, he was just staring at the back cushions of the couch with a foreboding feeling looming in his chest, making the thoughts in his mind darker. “Shut up, brain. Go to sleep. Everything’s fine.”
He was asleep before he knew it, but when he was finally getting the deep sleep he’d been deprived of for years, his brow furrowed and breathing started to escalate. Everything was starting to feel so real. Every footfall, every breath, every blink and twinge of pain from an overworked body that wanted nothing to do but crash. Even the pounding of his heart as he hopped on the ladder in the terrifyingly dark and empty elevator shaft. But there wasn’t any noise coming from the things that should have made noise. Like his boots and hands as they hit each cold, metal rung of that ladder, or the zip as Cougar slipped down the line next to him. The rat-a-tat-tat of their guns. Or the pained scream he should have heard himself let out when Cougar got shot. It was all white noise.
It had happened before, when the rush of a high-risk mission took his hearing. Jensen could live without it, but Cougar kept fighting him. He was shouting, he could feel the anger he was shouted, the strain on his vocal cords it gave him. He could feel the ripping pain at his heart as Cougar fell out of his grasp and crawled his way to the nuke. He could hardly stop the hitch in his breath from the twitch his diaphragm gave him. Hardly stop the searing heat at his eyes as Cougar struggled to move, to even talk.
Things only got worse when he found himself hugging Cougar, half attempted to just pick him up and drag him out with him anyway. He was shaking even more as he opened up the nuke and snapped the detonation cord, looking to Cougar with blurred vision, shaking his head telling him not to touch the two ends together, emptying his pockets of all the ammo he had left on him. Things went black after that, all the sound suddenly flooding back and running though his mind in a quick few seconds;
“FUCK YOU COUGAR, I AIN’T LEAVIN’ YOU BEHIND-!!”
“Gotta… can’t swim… like this… They’ll be comin’… I’ll hold ‘em off… long as I can. Just make sure… you get… as far away… as you can… an’ don’t look back!”
“You crazy son of a bitch… Jesus, Cougar, you don’t have to do this-
I’m comin’ back for you, Cougar.”
“S-sure, Jensen… whatever you say…
… ‘least I’ll go out… with a-”
Bang.
A thunderous boom suddenly took over, one so loud that hurt his ears and with a vibration that shook his entire body. Jensen snapped to consciousness, fighting in the covers until he was on the floor, scrambling to get out of them. “No, no, nono, n-no!” He started hyperventilating, chest heaving, hot tears streaming his face, shooting up off the floor the covers were off of him. “Cougar,” He sobbed, rubbing his eyes free of their blurriness, going back to the couch to get his glasses. “Cougar,” he lamented again and again through his teeth, fighting an onslaught of sobs and failing, shaking like a building in an devastating earthquake.
He started looking for his phone feverishly, wiping his eyes and choking on his breath as he muttered to himself the whole time.
((OOC: Terrified Jensen's waking up on your couch again. SO UH. PEER PRESSURE BY LOIS-MUN TO POST THIS. Ok not really all that much, but I finished the comics so this needs to be played out or I won't play Jensen right again LMFAO SORRY GUYS. THIS IS JENSEN'S LAST MENTAL BREAK EVER I SWEAR. edit; I am told otherwise :|a
AND SINCE ITS APRIL FOOLS? This doesn't have to affect major plotting, as it can be disregarded [except with Lois. And because technically his dream is direct comic verse plotting/even? WE CAN DISCUSS IF IT MATTERS OR NOT, I just want to play this out fff;;]))
And lately? It had been happening more and he was damn positive that half the shit his brain was coming up with never happened to him or the Losers. They did, he noticed, sometimes got really close to something they went though if only a bit different. Even then, things didn’t turn out anymore positively for them. “Alternate universe bullshit,” He muttered to himself, kicking off his shoes and flopping down on the couch. “I’m no comic book hero, brain. You hear me? Cut it out, you’re killing us. Seriously. I’m two seconds away from getting you evaluated like Jenna wants. And you know we both don’t want that.”
Jensen let the covers fall over him, tucking himself in tight. It felt wrong not to have someone on guard to make sure nobody else was sneaking up on him, or the guys, but he was alone. They were finally home. Things were different now. Mostly, anyway. With a sigh, he rolled over, looking more like a caterpillar than ever and wiggled an arm out to take off his glasses before trying to go to sleep. For the longest time, he was just staring at the back cushions of the couch with a foreboding feeling looming in his chest, making the thoughts in his mind darker. “Shut up, brain. Go to sleep. Everything’s fine.”
He was asleep before he knew it, but when he was finally getting the deep sleep he’d been deprived of for years, his brow furrowed and breathing started to escalate. Everything was starting to feel so real. Every footfall, every breath, every blink and twinge of pain from an overworked body that wanted nothing to do but crash. Even the pounding of his heart as he hopped on the ladder in the terrifyingly dark and empty elevator shaft. But there wasn’t any noise coming from the things that should have made noise. Like his boots and hands as they hit each cold, metal rung of that ladder, or the zip as Cougar slipped down the line next to him. The rat-a-tat-tat of their guns. Or the pained scream he should have heard himself let out when Cougar got shot. It was all white noise.
It had happened before, when the rush of a high-risk mission took his hearing. Jensen could live without it, but Cougar kept fighting him. He was shouting, he could feel the anger he was shouted, the strain on his vocal cords it gave him. He could feel the ripping pain at his heart as Cougar fell out of his grasp and crawled his way to the nuke. He could hardly stop the hitch in his breath from the twitch his diaphragm gave him. Hardly stop the searing heat at his eyes as Cougar struggled to move, to even talk.
Things only got worse when he found himself hugging Cougar, half attempted to just pick him up and drag him out with him anyway. He was shaking even more as he opened up the nuke and snapped the detonation cord, looking to Cougar with blurred vision, shaking his head telling him not to touch the two ends together, emptying his pockets of all the ammo he had left on him. Things went black after that, all the sound suddenly flooding back and running though his mind in a quick few seconds;
“FUCK YOU COUGAR, I AIN’T LEAVIN’ YOU BEHIND-!!”
“Gotta… can’t swim… like this… They’ll be comin’… I’ll hold ‘em off… long as I can. Just make sure… you get… as far away… as you can… an’ don’t look back!”
“You crazy son of a bitch… Jesus, Cougar, you don’t have to do this-
I’m comin’ back for you, Cougar.”
“S-sure, Jensen… whatever you say…
… ‘least I’ll go out… with a-”
Bang.
A thunderous boom suddenly took over, one so loud that hurt his ears and with a vibration that shook his entire body. Jensen snapped to consciousness, fighting in the covers until he was on the floor, scrambling to get out of them. “No, no, nono, n-no!” He started hyperventilating, chest heaving, hot tears streaming his face, shooting up off the floor the covers were off of him. “Cougar,” He sobbed, rubbing his eyes free of their blurriness, going back to the couch to get his glasses. “Cougar,” he lamented again and again through his teeth, fighting an onslaught of sobs and failing, shaking like a building in an devastating earthquake.
He started looking for his phone feverishly, wiping his eyes and choking on his breath as he muttered to himself the whole time.
((OOC: Terrified Jensen's waking up on your couch again. SO UH. PEER PRESSURE BY LOIS-MUN TO POST THIS. Ok not really all that much, but I finished the comics so this needs to be played out or I won't play Jensen right again LMFAO SORRY GUYS. THIS IS JENSEN'S LAST MENTAL BREAK EVER I SWEAR. edit; I am told otherwise :|a
AND SINCE ITS APRIL FOOLS? This doesn't have to affect major plotting, as it can be disregarded [except with Lois. And because technically his dream is direct comic verse plotting/even? WE CAN DISCUSS IF IT MATTERS OR NOT, I just want to play this out fff;;]))