How to Save a Life (One-Shot)
Title: How to Save a Life
Rating: PG-13 (for mild cursing)
Genre: Angst
Characters: Yunho and Jaejoong
A/N: This is my first song-fic, but when I heard How to Save a Live by The Fray, I just couldn’t help but write a fanfiction about it. I ask that you please excuse the fail, since it is my first time to handle a song-fic.
=-----------------------------------------------=
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
He watches from the kitchen door, right shoulder leaning against the white door frame. There’s a kind of apprehensive silence settled over the apartment, nothing but the clinking of cooking utensils against pots to break the heavy silence.
“Yunho,” he begins, the name coming out with the breath he’d been holding while he stood outside the bounds of the kitchen, “we need to talk.” He finishes as Yunho turns, eyes glittering with the smallest hint of fear before he smoothes his features once again.
Yunho makes no response, opting to toss his rag to the table and shuffle from the kitchen, his eyes never straying to Jaejoong’s stiff form.
The two move into the living, Jaejoong the first one to take a seat. Yunho just stands there, hands hanging limply at his sides.
Jaejoong forces a smile, wanting to cringe when he can literally feel the stiffness of his own face. It feels like the smile he gives strangers, not the his best friend. “It’s just a talk, Yunho, sit down.” He tries to sound normal, his voice almost wavering when Yunho returns his disingenuous smile with one of stiff politeness.
It’s obvious that the walls have been raised and Jaejoong can do nothing but stare politely through that barrier.
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Jaejoong can’t stand to look at that blank face for long, so he shifts his gaze to the right, towards the moon-bathed window. The weather outside is cloudy, a storm building in the heavens as the grey clouds roll in from the darkened horizon.
He can see Yunho’s own gaze drifting in the opposite direction, to the left where his bedroom door stands open.
Jaejoong doesn’t know how to begin, the nerves causing his stomach to curl itself into complicated knots. He can’t fight the fear eating away at him, the gravity of the situation pressing on him until he’s actually contemplating the thought of blaming Yunho for everything.
The doubt assails him as he sits and looks out the window. What is he doing here? Had this been the right thing? Would it even make a difference?
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
“Yunho,” Jaejoong finally works up the nerve to speak, his eyes shifting back to Yunho’s stiffened form, “you have to believe me that this is for the best. This is the only way to deal with what’s going on.” He wants so badly for those words to be enough for Yunho; he wants for things to go back to how they used to be.
Jaejoong can tell by the stiffening in Yunho’s face that his words have not been enough and that the younger male is biting back retorts.
“Think about it, Yunho, you know the right thing to do. You’re a smart guy, this whole thing is wrong.” He refuses to placate him and tell him that what he feels is okay. He can be gentle and still try to save his best friend.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
“What’s wrong with it?” Yunho finally speaks, his voice soft, but with the smallest hint of the metal that his true character is made of.
Jaejoong sighs, pushing a hand through his hair, “where do I start?” He can’t help the slight lifting of his voice as he’s forced to point out the blatantly obvious. “Your feelings for me are not natural, the people in our lives would never accept us, our public face and jobs would be in danger if anyone found out…the whole thing is just ludicrous!” He finishes as he stands from the couch and gestures madly around the apartment as if to indicate the sad state of their entire lives.
Why can’t he understand? Why must he refuse to see the reality of things?
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed.
The silence stretches on for a long moment before Yunho stands, eyes as hard as steel when he meets Jaejoong’s gaze.
“Why is it wrong? Is it wrong because it might hurt you? Is it wrong because blind and arrogant people say it is? Why is it that I have to be wrong for something I didn’t choose?” He shouts the last part, eyes shimmering with the tall-tale signs of tears.
“I never chose to love you, Jaejoong! I fucking hate it that you act like you’re so much wiser and better than me simply because you’re considered normal!” He manages to keep the tears back, his jaw clenching as his shoulders rise and fall from his rapid breathing.
“Please don’t be like this, Yunho.” Jaejoong pleads in a soft voice, holding up his hand as if that will some how calm the angry male. “If you take it all back we can go back to the way things used to be. We can be best friends again.” He refuses to give way to the hurt in the younger male’s eyes. On this one matter he has to stand firm on what he believes. If he doesn’t stick with what he believe, Yunho could so easily break him and all that he believes. Yunho could so easily pull him down into that pit of sin.
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Jaejoong knows there’s only two things left and he prays that Yunho will just admit that everything he feels in unnatural; that he’ll agree to getting help and letting things go back to the way they used to be.
Yunho shifts his gaze away, brown eyes overflowing with unspoken pain. “I’m not like you, Jaejoong. I can’t lie and pretend just to make you feel better. I can’t torture myself like that just to be around you…no matter how much I love you.”
It’s those words that make Jaejoong wonder if he should just pack up and leave. It seems like there’s nothing he can do to help his friend.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Jaejoong runs a hand over his face, fighting back the groan of frustration that’s pushing at his lips. “I’m going to bed.” He finally speaks as he begins to walk out of the living room. He wonders when exactly his best friend had changed into something so different and wrong. When had the bitterness and anger torn his best friend away from him?
“Stay up with me, Jaejoong….please?” Yunho’s voice is weak, almost choked out by the tears building in his eyes again.
Jaejoong turns around, his entire body ridged as he looks at the pitiful form of his friend. He pulls in a deep breath through his nose, steeling himself against the pity and concern for his friend. “No. I’m going to bed.” He responds in a voice that sound harsh even in his own ears. He has to turn away before the broken look in Yunho’s eyes begins to test his already thin resolve.
Jaejoong doesn’t sleep at all that night, his brain whirling with the conflict with his best friend. He tosses and turns, fighting the tears that build in his eyes. He can’t lose his Yunho, the boy who’s been with him practically since birth. He wonders how he can be so callous to the one person who has always understood and supported him. How can he let his prejudice and misconceptions ruin the beautiful relationship they had built?
He doesn’t know how long Yunho stays up, but he hears the younger male shuffling around in the kitchen for a minute before the silence blankets the apartment.
Jaejoong wrestles with himself for over an hour, dithering between going back out to Yunho or staying in bed and sticking to his guns on not giving in to Yunho’s desires.
It’s when he starts to imagine his life without the younger male that he flips back the covers and quickly strides back into the living room.
“Yunho I…” Jaejoong trails off as he walks out of his bedroom and is greeted by the sight of Yunho slouched on the couch, body completely motionless. It takes him a moment to realize that the younger male isn’t breathing.
When the reality comes crashing down, Jaejoong can feel his heart rending itself in two as he stumbles forward and reaches for Yunho’s body.
Through the haze of disbelief he recalls trying shabby CPR, giving up when Yunho’s body remains motionless on the couch.
He knows it’s too late, even as he reaches for the phone and dials 911. His Yunho is gone, ripped away because of a callous and insensitive friend. He’s never going to see him again, never going to see that happy face glowing with laughter or affection. He’s gone.
“I would have stayed up with you all night, Yunho.” Jaejoong sobs as he hangs up the phone, an ambulance on it’s way.
“I didn’t know.” He cries, curling up his knees and sobbing as if that will help dispel the pain in his heart.
How could he have been so blind?
=---------------------------------------------=
A/N: So yeah. I have finally written something and posted it after months and months of being away. I’m seriously sorry to all of my regular readers, but I’ve hit such a funk these days that it’s just been impossible for me to write. I think I’m finally pulling out of it, so things might be looking up in the very near future.
Anyway, I hope this wasn’t too depressing for everyone. I thought it would be a nice change of pace to have Yunho being the one of the painful side of an unrequited love. I see Yunho as much more of the romantic type, so I could see him falling for Jaejoong, only to find that Jaejoong has major qualms about everything. Generally, I find the thought of suicide for love to be utterly stupid and a major character flaw, but I so wanted to use this song in a story, so I gave up. Also, I don't include the chorus until the end to save on length. Plus, it seems like it could get pretty redundant after awhile.
I apologize for the quality of my writing. My rather lengthy hiatus has caused me to grow a bit rusty in the writing department.
Thank you for reading!
Rating: PG-13 (for mild cursing)
Genre: Angst
Characters: Yunho and Jaejoong
A/N: This is my first song-fic, but when I heard How to Save a Live by The Fray, I just couldn’t help but write a fanfiction about it. I ask that you please excuse the fail, since it is my first time to handle a song-fic.
=-----------------------------------------------=
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
He watches from the kitchen door, right shoulder leaning against the white door frame. There’s a kind of apprehensive silence settled over the apartment, nothing but the clinking of cooking utensils against pots to break the heavy silence.
“Yunho,” he begins, the name coming out with the breath he’d been holding while he stood outside the bounds of the kitchen, “we need to talk.” He finishes as Yunho turns, eyes glittering with the smallest hint of fear before he smoothes his features once again.
Yunho makes no response, opting to toss his rag to the table and shuffle from the kitchen, his eyes never straying to Jaejoong’s stiff form.
The two move into the living, Jaejoong the first one to take a seat. Yunho just stands there, hands hanging limply at his sides.
Jaejoong forces a smile, wanting to cringe when he can literally feel the stiffness of his own face. It feels like the smile he gives strangers, not the his best friend. “It’s just a talk, Yunho, sit down.” He tries to sound normal, his voice almost wavering when Yunho returns his disingenuous smile with one of stiff politeness.
It’s obvious that the walls have been raised and Jaejoong can do nothing but stare politely through that barrier.
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Jaejoong can’t stand to look at that blank face for long, so he shifts his gaze to the right, towards the moon-bathed window. The weather outside is cloudy, a storm building in the heavens as the grey clouds roll in from the darkened horizon.
He can see Yunho’s own gaze drifting in the opposite direction, to the left where his bedroom door stands open.
Jaejoong doesn’t know how to begin, the nerves causing his stomach to curl itself into complicated knots. He can’t fight the fear eating away at him, the gravity of the situation pressing on him until he’s actually contemplating the thought of blaming Yunho for everything.
The doubt assails him as he sits and looks out the window. What is he doing here? Had this been the right thing? Would it even make a difference?
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
“Yunho,” Jaejoong finally works up the nerve to speak, his eyes shifting back to Yunho’s stiffened form, “you have to believe me that this is for the best. This is the only way to deal with what’s going on.” He wants so badly for those words to be enough for Yunho; he wants for things to go back to how they used to be.
Jaejoong can tell by the stiffening in Yunho’s face that his words have not been enough and that the younger male is biting back retorts.
“Think about it, Yunho, you know the right thing to do. You’re a smart guy, this whole thing is wrong.” He refuses to placate him and tell him that what he feels is okay. He can be gentle and still try to save his best friend.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
“What’s wrong with it?” Yunho finally speaks, his voice soft, but with the smallest hint of the metal that his true character is made of.
Jaejoong sighs, pushing a hand through his hair, “where do I start?” He can’t help the slight lifting of his voice as he’s forced to point out the blatantly obvious. “Your feelings for me are not natural, the people in our lives would never accept us, our public face and jobs would be in danger if anyone found out…the whole thing is just ludicrous!” He finishes as he stands from the couch and gestures madly around the apartment as if to indicate the sad state of their entire lives.
Why can’t he understand? Why must he refuse to see the reality of things?
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed.
The silence stretches on for a long moment before Yunho stands, eyes as hard as steel when he meets Jaejoong’s gaze.
“Why is it wrong? Is it wrong because it might hurt you? Is it wrong because blind and arrogant people say it is? Why is it that I have to be wrong for something I didn’t choose?” He shouts the last part, eyes shimmering with the tall-tale signs of tears.
“I never chose to love you, Jaejoong! I fucking hate it that you act like you’re so much wiser and better than me simply because you’re considered normal!” He manages to keep the tears back, his jaw clenching as his shoulders rise and fall from his rapid breathing.
“Please don’t be like this, Yunho.” Jaejoong pleads in a soft voice, holding up his hand as if that will some how calm the angry male. “If you take it all back we can go back to the way things used to be. We can be best friends again.” He refuses to give way to the hurt in the younger male’s eyes. On this one matter he has to stand firm on what he believes. If he doesn’t stick with what he believe, Yunho could so easily break him and all that he believes. Yunho could so easily pull him down into that pit of sin.
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Jaejoong knows there’s only two things left and he prays that Yunho will just admit that everything he feels in unnatural; that he’ll agree to getting help and letting things go back to the way they used to be.
Yunho shifts his gaze away, brown eyes overflowing with unspoken pain. “I’m not like you, Jaejoong. I can’t lie and pretend just to make you feel better. I can’t torture myself like that just to be around you…no matter how much I love you.”
It’s those words that make Jaejoong wonder if he should just pack up and leave. It seems like there’s nothing he can do to help his friend.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Jaejoong runs a hand over his face, fighting back the groan of frustration that’s pushing at his lips. “I’m going to bed.” He finally speaks as he begins to walk out of the living room. He wonders when exactly his best friend had changed into something so different and wrong. When had the bitterness and anger torn his best friend away from him?
“Stay up with me, Jaejoong….please?” Yunho’s voice is weak, almost choked out by the tears building in his eyes again.
Jaejoong turns around, his entire body ridged as he looks at the pitiful form of his friend. He pulls in a deep breath through his nose, steeling himself against the pity and concern for his friend. “No. I’m going to bed.” He responds in a voice that sound harsh even in his own ears. He has to turn away before the broken look in Yunho’s eyes begins to test his already thin resolve.
Jaejoong doesn’t sleep at all that night, his brain whirling with the conflict with his best friend. He tosses and turns, fighting the tears that build in his eyes. He can’t lose his Yunho, the boy who’s been with him practically since birth. He wonders how he can be so callous to the one person who has always understood and supported him. How can he let his prejudice and misconceptions ruin the beautiful relationship they had built?
He doesn’t know how long Yunho stays up, but he hears the younger male shuffling around in the kitchen for a minute before the silence blankets the apartment.
Jaejoong wrestles with himself for over an hour, dithering between going back out to Yunho or staying in bed and sticking to his guns on not giving in to Yunho’s desires.
It’s when he starts to imagine his life without the younger male that he flips back the covers and quickly strides back into the living room.
“Yunho I…” Jaejoong trails off as he walks out of his bedroom and is greeted by the sight of Yunho slouched on the couch, body completely motionless. It takes him a moment to realize that the younger male isn’t breathing.
When the reality comes crashing down, Jaejoong can feel his heart rending itself in two as he stumbles forward and reaches for Yunho’s body.
Through the haze of disbelief he recalls trying shabby CPR, giving up when Yunho’s body remains motionless on the couch.
He knows it’s too late, even as he reaches for the phone and dials 911. His Yunho is gone, ripped away because of a callous and insensitive friend. He’s never going to see him again, never going to see that happy face glowing with laughter or affection. He’s gone.
“I would have stayed up with you all night, Yunho.” Jaejoong sobs as he hangs up the phone, an ambulance on it’s way.
“I didn’t know.” He cries, curling up his knees and sobbing as if that will help dispel the pain in his heart.
How could he have been so blind?
=---------------------------------------------=
A/N: So yeah. I have finally written something and posted it after months and months of being away. I’m seriously sorry to all of my regular readers, but I’ve hit such a funk these days that it’s just been impossible for me to write. I think I’m finally pulling out of it, so things might be looking up in the very near future.
Anyway, I hope this wasn’t too depressing for everyone. I thought it would be a nice change of pace to have Yunho being the one of the painful side of an unrequited love. I see Yunho as much more of the romantic type, so I could see him falling for Jaejoong, only to find that Jaejoong has major qualms about everything. Generally, I find the thought of suicide for love to be utterly stupid and a major character flaw, but I so wanted to use this song in a story, so I gave up. Also, I don't include the chorus until the end to save on length. Plus, it seems like it could get pretty redundant after awhile.
I apologize for the quality of my writing. My rather lengthy hiatus has caused me to grow a bit rusty in the writing department.
Thank you for reading!