broken promised
and so it begins
I cant help it
i know its wrong
but it feels so horrid
i dont like it
i hate it in fact
i know i may be crazy
but im trying to fight it
but its hard to fight it when you feel so
alone, unwelcome and unwanted
by the poeple who said they care
but they dont really
they say they do because they want to feel like a good person
i know i may just be paranoid
but id be nice to be able to act it out or talk about it
and then have someone be like
no kire your just paranoid.
dont worry were here for you.
like i have done for my friends before
but im afrid that if i talked to anyone about how i actually feel
i would seem like in flipping out for no reason
that im a crazy attention whore
they would just not be friends with that crazy bitch
so insted i just go back to sleep
i become paralyzed by the pain
i am just doing what i can to not cry
not go thu that thing that happens to me when i freak out
not pull a charlie
becuae it hurts allot
allot more than anything else
so ill do what i can
and fuck everyone who i made promises to
becuase i dont think you actally care
i think you just dont want to be friends with
one of those people.
its hard to say all this but its how i feel
then i feel even worse for feeling the way i do
becase it sounds so emo trash retarded
and it just adds another stone
the the pile of bolders i feel on my chest
then i think of all those things all those tiny pebbles rocks stones and bolders
that i just feel slowly crushing my heart
and i just want to fell something else
anything else
because
i cant do anything otherwise