"Today we salute you, Mr. Myspace addict.
ou thought you could just log on once, but little did you know it would consume your life.
Joining one pointless group was just not enough.
Adding every person you never spoke to in high school, and people you've never met who live 3000 miles away just to be "virtually" popular.
As if IM wasn't enough to feed into your stalker-ish behavior.
Oooo look at you with your 340659 "friends".
So go ahead, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Compulsive Away Message Checker Turned Myspace Psycho.
It's too bad that you're not too popular at the bar, but in virtual reality,
you'd be the life of the cyber party."