Fic: Chances (2/ )
title: Chances
fandom: Glee
pairing: Rachel/Will
rating: pg for this part
spoilers: Up to Sectionals. Everything after that is my own version of canon.
a/n: takemeaway is awesome (as a beta, and otherwise). This week's episode was not awesome.
Prologue
Part One
The last day of first semester, Will’s dad dies.
The day of the funeral is mostly a blur. There’s a reception afterwards at the home of some friends of the family, and Will sits on an uncomfortable dining chair next to his mother for what feels like days, drifting in and out of presence in the moment.
Once when the front door opens he looks up and sees a tall man in a suit leading in a petite brunette. She’s mostly obscured from his view, but he sees a big bouquet of pink roses in her hands. As soon as he sees them he knows it’s her.
_
“I feel stupid.”
“Come on.”
“What do I even say to him?”
“Just say hi and you’re sorry and junk.”
“I’m not sorry I quit Glee.”
“Yeah whatever. Why’d you even quit anyway? I didn’t think you were really that full of yourself.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Sorry, just come on.”
Finn parks the car and meets Rachel at her door on the other side of the car.
“Is my tie straight?”
“Yes, you look very nice.”
“I’m supposed to wear a suit, right? That’s what my mom said.”
“Yes. Is my hair frizzy? It’s so wet out.”
Finn stares at Rachel for a second, appearing to try to remember whether frizzy is a good or bad thing before he shrugs and Rachel takes the arm he didn’t know he was offering and they start across the lawn. It’s been an unseasonably warm winter with uneasy atmosphere blown about by competing gusts of wind. Rain sprinkles lightly from a glassy silver sky and Rachel’s heels sink into the wet turf.
The front door has a little hand-written sign directing all guests to let themselves in, but Rachel tugs on Finn’s arm to stop him.
“What? It says go in.”
“I know, Finn, I- he’s not going to want to see me.”
“Look, do you want to be here or not?”
“Yes, I just don’t think-”
“Even if you don’t want to, you owe it to Mr. Schue, because he’s been really nice to you even though you mostly yelled at him a lot and quit a bunch of times.”
Rachel takes a deep breath. “You’re right.” She eyes Finn and brushes a few droplets of water off his shoulder. “But I didn’t mostly yell,” she adds.
He drops her the somehow knowing half-smile that used to make her knees tingle and want to give out. She forces her own smile back. She adjusts her grip on the flowers in her opposite arm and nods to Finn, who opens the door for her.
After they wipe their feet and find a place to deposit the flowers, Rachel spots a few other Glee kids and drags Finn over quickly.
They exchange stilted hellos, and Rachel lingers while Finn goes to find them each something to drink. By the time he comes back it’s just silence and the occasional half sentence about a class or college applications. Even Brittany’s taken on the somber mood, and sits quietly huddled on a love seat with Santana and Kurt, both of whom appear as uncomfortable and bored as they have ever been in their lives.
Before she realizes what’s happening, Finn’s leading Rachel away and shoving her not entirely gently ahead of him into the next room and through a circle of older people she doesn’t know until she’s standing dumbly in front of Mr. Schuester.
He’s sitting on one in a semi-circle of chairs, and a woman Rachel vaguely remembers as his mother from one performance or another sits beside him, clutching a handkerchief to her nose and smiling bleakly at the hushed condolences floating around her.
Will looks up with red eyes and just stares for a moment. Rachel stands still, mouth popped open a little, but nothing comes so she just stands with her hands in her coat pockets, until he gets up from his chair and hugs her. Her hands come out of her pockets and rest lightly on his back and she chokes out, “I’m so sorry,” to the ceiling.
When he pulls back and his hands rest on her shoulders for a moment he smiles and Rachel feels simultaneously like the worst and best person on earth.
She feels this compulsion to keep saying it: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” but she bites her tongue. Will turns to Finn and hugs him as well, Finn offering him a manly slap on the back. When Will sits back down, Rachel finds herself sinking down to the seat next to him. She leans around him slightly and catches his mother’s eye.
“I’m very sorry for your loss,” she says, and receives the same blank smile so she turns back to Will.
“Thank you,” he says softly. He pats her knee. Rachel nods. She feels Finn sit down at her other side and tries to distract herself with his fidgeting, but tears are incessantly filling her eyes no matter how much she blinks so she just nods again and returns Will’s watery, welcoming smile.
_
Rachel doesn’t rejoin Glee for second semester. They don’t make it past Regionals.
_
Will pushes his fork around the table with his finger.
“Darling what’s that noise? Are you watching TV?”
“No, Mom,” Will leans back into the couch and switches the phone from one ear to the other. “Sorry, go ahead.”
“I just wanted to see how you are, how your semester’s starting. You know it’s been a month.”
“I know. It’s okay. Rachel quit Glee.” He doesn’t know why it’s important, why it feels like it just happened now, again, even though this all happened in September and now it’s January.
“Who’s Rachel? Not that blond little girl with the baby?”
“No, Mom, that’s Quinn, she hasn’t been in the club since last year. Rachel’s . . .”
“Oh, that one with all the solos.”
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah.”
“Well honey, teenagers aren’t known for sticking with things.”
“Oh I know. I just thought . . . she’s just too talented to not be using it you know?
“We all go through those times. Growing pains.”
“Yeah.”
Will says goodbye to his mother a few minutes later, and fiddles with his phone distractedly.
His workload for the semester hasn’t picked up yet, and he has nothing to do. His hands are restless; he can’t stop turning his phone over and over or running his fingers through his hair or something. Sitting still too long lets emptiness sink down around him.
The grief for his dad comes and goes in waves under the surface, but after everything that was Terri At The End, it almost feels dampened. He’s begun counting the days to graduation, hyper-aware of yet another sense of loss he knows he won’t be able to shake.
_
When Rachel tells Finn her plan he just shrugs and says he hears they make good pizza in New York. She can’t decide whether she should be mad that he’s not being more supportive or glad that he’s not not being supportive. She sees sheet music falling out of his backpack, and he tells her it’s New Directions’ song for the graduation ceremony. Rachel changes the subject.
_
“I love you Finn Hudson,” Rachel says into his shoulder. He sets her back on the ground, releasing her from a bear-hug, and tucks his hands in his pockets.
“Me too.” He chucks her lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t forget me when you’re all famous.”
Rachel promises she won’t, and then in the dead of night, two days after her high school graduation, she gets on a bus that will take her to the airport. Finn waves, and as she watches him grow smaller and smaller as the bus picks up speed, she has her second real moment of doubt.
The first was when she avoided Mr. Schuester carefully after the graduation ceremony, even though it seemed like he was trying to find her. Eventually he gave up and she watched his back as he walked out of the gymnasium and thought a “goodbye.”
_
a/n: I KNOW, I killed Victor Garber. I'M SORRY! ;)
fandom: Glee
pairing: Rachel/Will
rating: pg for this part
spoilers: Up to Sectionals. Everything after that is my own version of canon.
a/n: takemeaway is awesome (as a beta, and otherwise). This week's episode was not awesome.
Prologue
Part One
The last day of first semester, Will’s dad dies.
The day of the funeral is mostly a blur. There’s a reception afterwards at the home of some friends of the family, and Will sits on an uncomfortable dining chair next to his mother for what feels like days, drifting in and out of presence in the moment.
Once when the front door opens he looks up and sees a tall man in a suit leading in a petite brunette. She’s mostly obscured from his view, but he sees a big bouquet of pink roses in her hands. As soon as he sees them he knows it’s her.
_
“I feel stupid.”
“Come on.”
“What do I even say to him?”
“Just say hi and you’re sorry and junk.”
“I’m not sorry I quit Glee.”
“Yeah whatever. Why’d you even quit anyway? I didn’t think you were really that full of yourself.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Sorry, just come on.”
Finn parks the car and meets Rachel at her door on the other side of the car.
“Is my tie straight?”
“Yes, you look very nice.”
“I’m supposed to wear a suit, right? That’s what my mom said.”
“Yes. Is my hair frizzy? It’s so wet out.”
Finn stares at Rachel for a second, appearing to try to remember whether frizzy is a good or bad thing before he shrugs and Rachel takes the arm he didn’t know he was offering and they start across the lawn. It’s been an unseasonably warm winter with uneasy atmosphere blown about by competing gusts of wind. Rain sprinkles lightly from a glassy silver sky and Rachel’s heels sink into the wet turf.
The front door has a little hand-written sign directing all guests to let themselves in, but Rachel tugs on Finn’s arm to stop him.
“What? It says go in.”
“I know, Finn, I- he’s not going to want to see me.”
“Look, do you want to be here or not?”
“Yes, I just don’t think-”
“Even if you don’t want to, you owe it to Mr. Schue, because he’s been really nice to you even though you mostly yelled at him a lot and quit a bunch of times.”
Rachel takes a deep breath. “You’re right.” She eyes Finn and brushes a few droplets of water off his shoulder. “But I didn’t mostly yell,” she adds.
He drops her the somehow knowing half-smile that used to make her knees tingle and want to give out. She forces her own smile back. She adjusts her grip on the flowers in her opposite arm and nods to Finn, who opens the door for her.
After they wipe their feet and find a place to deposit the flowers, Rachel spots a few other Glee kids and drags Finn over quickly.
They exchange stilted hellos, and Rachel lingers while Finn goes to find them each something to drink. By the time he comes back it’s just silence and the occasional half sentence about a class or college applications. Even Brittany’s taken on the somber mood, and sits quietly huddled on a love seat with Santana and Kurt, both of whom appear as uncomfortable and bored as they have ever been in their lives.
Before she realizes what’s happening, Finn’s leading Rachel away and shoving her not entirely gently ahead of him into the next room and through a circle of older people she doesn’t know until she’s standing dumbly in front of Mr. Schuester.
He’s sitting on one in a semi-circle of chairs, and a woman Rachel vaguely remembers as his mother from one performance or another sits beside him, clutching a handkerchief to her nose and smiling bleakly at the hushed condolences floating around her.
Will looks up with red eyes and just stares for a moment. Rachel stands still, mouth popped open a little, but nothing comes so she just stands with her hands in her coat pockets, until he gets up from his chair and hugs her. Her hands come out of her pockets and rest lightly on his back and she chokes out, “I’m so sorry,” to the ceiling.
When he pulls back and his hands rest on her shoulders for a moment he smiles and Rachel feels simultaneously like the worst and best person on earth.
She feels this compulsion to keep saying it: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” but she bites her tongue. Will turns to Finn and hugs him as well, Finn offering him a manly slap on the back. When Will sits back down, Rachel finds herself sinking down to the seat next to him. She leans around him slightly and catches his mother’s eye.
“I’m very sorry for your loss,” she says, and receives the same blank smile so she turns back to Will.
“Thank you,” he says softly. He pats her knee. Rachel nods. She feels Finn sit down at her other side and tries to distract herself with his fidgeting, but tears are incessantly filling her eyes no matter how much she blinks so she just nods again and returns Will’s watery, welcoming smile.
_
Rachel doesn’t rejoin Glee for second semester. They don’t make it past Regionals.
_
Will pushes his fork around the table with his finger.
“Darling what’s that noise? Are you watching TV?”
“No, Mom,” Will leans back into the couch and switches the phone from one ear to the other. “Sorry, go ahead.”
“I just wanted to see how you are, how your semester’s starting. You know it’s been a month.”
“I know. It’s okay. Rachel quit Glee.” He doesn’t know why it’s important, why it feels like it just happened now, again, even though this all happened in September and now it’s January.
“Who’s Rachel? Not that blond little girl with the baby?”
“No, Mom, that’s Quinn, she hasn’t been in the club since last year. Rachel’s . . .”
“Oh, that one with all the solos.”
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah.”
“Well honey, teenagers aren’t known for sticking with things.”
“Oh I know. I just thought . . . she’s just too talented to not be using it you know?
“We all go through those times. Growing pains.”
“Yeah.”
Will says goodbye to his mother a few minutes later, and fiddles with his phone distractedly.
His workload for the semester hasn’t picked up yet, and he has nothing to do. His hands are restless; he can’t stop turning his phone over and over or running his fingers through his hair or something. Sitting still too long lets emptiness sink down around him.
The grief for his dad comes and goes in waves under the surface, but after everything that was Terri At The End, it almost feels dampened. He’s begun counting the days to graduation, hyper-aware of yet another sense of loss he knows he won’t be able to shake.
_
When Rachel tells Finn her plan he just shrugs and says he hears they make good pizza in New York. She can’t decide whether she should be mad that he’s not being more supportive or glad that he’s not not being supportive. She sees sheet music falling out of his backpack, and he tells her it’s New Directions’ song for the graduation ceremony. Rachel changes the subject.
_
“I love you Finn Hudson,” Rachel says into his shoulder. He sets her back on the ground, releasing her from a bear-hug, and tucks his hands in his pockets.
“Me too.” He chucks her lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t forget me when you’re all famous.”
Rachel promises she won’t, and then in the dead of night, two days after her high school graduation, she gets on a bus that will take her to the airport. Finn waves, and as she watches him grow smaller and smaller as the bus picks up speed, she has her second real moment of doubt.
The first was when she avoided Mr. Schuester carefully after the graduation ceremony, even though it seemed like he was trying to find her. Eventually he gave up and she watched his back as he walked out of the gymnasium and thought a “goodbye.”
_
a/n: I KNOW, I killed Victor Garber. I'M SORRY! ;)