shit.

i really like my boyfriend.

a lot.

too much for my own good.

i don't have any pictures with him.
that's weird.

 and writing a list of things I am looking forward to when I move to Davison.

-living near my BFF, Zach
-my Sonny Bunny!
-my bedroom
-free food
-central air
-the dishwasher
-no rent
-the hot tub
-El Charrito's

 this is another week when i feel like i need to be on depression meds.

i have nothing to be unhappy about, but i am unhappy.

if only i weren't so damn stubborn.

 I brushed paint onto canvas today.  It was wonderful.  The paint doesn't make a picture, just layers of color splotches,  and designs of scratches so the layers can be seen.  I love painting.  I love the feel of it and the relaxation and the de-stressing and mind-freeing and accidental beauty-creating even when I am just painting for the purpose ( Read more... )

 There are so many reasons this relationship should not work, but it does.  And I have fallen for him.  I didn't think I could, or I didn't think I would let myself.  But I slipped and fell.  And I am happy.  Even if this does end when I leave Grand Rapids, and even if I do feel some heartbreak, it will all have been completely worth it because at ( Read more... )

Being back in Davison made me think about LJ and how long it's been since I've written down my thoughts here, or anywhere else for that matter.  I haven't journaled in my personal handwritten journal once this summer ( Read more... )

 I cannot express the love, respect, and awe I have for my father.

He is an amazing man.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT! 

I'm done ( Read more... )

And the sky gave way to a funeral dirge ( Read more... )