Supernatural - Dean Winchester - 15 - Hands, 8-shame, 19 - whispered

[my_sam_dean]

Title:  My Life with the Winchesters, Part 13
Rating:  R
Prompt:  15 - hands
Disclaimer:  I own nothing Supernatural. I do claim Nora as my own.
Summary:  Sam and John allow Nora to care for Dean.  An injured Dean is a crabby Dean.


When we met for lunch, Sam snagged the Tylenol from John for his sore muscles. Dean still had a stash of the pills he'd grabbed early that morning, so he was feeling no pain.

"How are you feeling?" I asked John as I pressed my lips to his forehead since he was sitting down and I wasn't, stealthily checking if he had a fever.

"Fine. You don't need to try to gauge my temperature," John smiled at me. I should have known I couldn't pull one over on him.

"Still taking the Tylenol?"

"Nope. Felt like myself this morning. Little concerned about Dean's newfound happiness."

"It's from a bottle. Ask to see his back," I whispered to him when I went to sit by Sam.

John raised an eyebrow but it must have made sense when he looked at Dean. Last night, he'd thought Dean just bounced on his head and was fine. "You get hurt last night, Dean?"

"Nope. Sammy got sore muscles, though."

"Why would just one of you have sore muscles after a salt and burn?" John continued to question him.

Dean screwed up his face thinking of a response. John chuckled a little, knowing that Dean would have had an explanation ready if not for the pain killers.

"I'll check out your back when we return to the motel."

"Huh?"

***

We stayed in town to give Dean a chance to heal. No one wanted him to drive while taking pain killers and Sam had informed me that no one was allowed to drive Dean’s baby unless Dean was near-death.

***

Dean opened his eyes and realized that he wasn't in his room. He reached for his knife but it wasn't under his pillow.

"Dean, how are you feeling?" I asked him as I approached the bed.

He cleared his throat. "Sore. Where are Dad and Sam?"

"They're in your room working on a case. Figured you'd sleep better in here."

He nodded.

"Did you need some Tylenol? I know they wanted to leave as soon as you were feeling better."

"Where'd the pain pills go?"

"John said if you need the pills, we'll rest another day before leaving. He doesn't want you driving with a foggy mind."

"Do you realize how screwed up that is? I drove the Impala before I could safely see over the steering wheel, usually to get him some medical help."

"He left it up to you, Dean."

"Screw this," he got out of bed and went for his coat.

I just stayed out of his way.

He gave the door a resounding slam on his way out.

***

"You okay?" both John and Sam came to check on me a few moments after Dean left.

"I'm fine."

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked.

"My guess is the bar," I sighed. "He said he hurt but he didn't take anything for pain. Got upset when I told him you wanted him in a clear mind before driving."

"Damn kid," John mumbled. "He'll be fine at the bar for awhile. He's just numbing his pain a different way. We can go after him later."

"I'll go," I offered and both men looked stunned.

"This is Dean we're talking about, honey," Sam came over to me. "He can be, well, crude and um, horny when he's drunk," Sam whispered the last part.

"You two decide," John gave me a peck on the cheek. "If he gives you any trouble, you know where we are."

I just smiled at him.

"I can go get him," Sam told me after John left. "I've done it a million times before."

I laid my hand on his cheek. "I can do this. I have your numbers if I need you. Right now, you need to work on the case."

"I'd rather spend the afternoon with you," Sam nibbled on my earlobe.

"I would, too. But, we can't."

Sam gave me the puppy dog look but I stood firm. "I'm not going to let Dean intimidate me. I'll be fine."

Reluctantly, Sam left.

I stood there and wondered what I'd just gotten myself into.

***

I let two hours pass before I went to the bar. Dean was easy to spot, sitting at the bar, chatting up a brunette. There were two empty barstools next to him, so I sat in the one that was further away. I ordered a drink and just sat there, watching Dean out of the corner of my eye. It was easy to tell when he first saw me because he sat up straight and seemed uncomfortable.

"What are you here for?" Dean asked without looking at me when the brunette walked away.

"Just thought I'd come to make sure you made it back," I also stared ahead.

"I haven't had a curfew in quite some time. I'll sleep in the Impala if I get in too late. Go home."

"I'm supposed to bring you back with me," I stood my ground. "I'll just wait until you are ready to leave."

"I may not leave alone."

I looked at his profile, with the collar of his leather jacket pulled up, and knew that he probably wouldn't leave alone.

Dean turned and looked at me, "I'm here to get screwed. Go home."

I shrugged and kept sipping my drink.

Dean drank and charmed his way into more than one girl's heart that night. However, at closing time, he was alone. Except for me.

"Let's go, Dean," I said as I stood up.

Dean stumbled a little as he got off his stool.

"Care to walk a gal home?" I put a hand on his arm.

"Why not?" he fell into step beside me.

***

"So I'm rooming with you. Whose bright idea was that?" Dean asked as I closed the door behind us.

"Just how it worked out. There are two beds, so what does it matter anyway?"

Dean winced as he shrug off his coat.

"Let me check your wound," I offered as I stepped toward him.

"I'm fine," he put a hand out to stop me.

I got ready for bed and came out to find Dean sitting on a bed, rubbing his sore side. I climbed onto the bed behind him.

"Let me see," I said and Dean hurt enough to let me.

I pried the tape free as gently as I could.

"I don't have to trust you, you know," his voice was flat.

"I know."

"Sam and Dad, they trust you. But, I don't have to."

"You're right," I agreed with him as I looked at the scrapes and cuts. "Who do you trust, Dean?"

"Dad. Sam. Bobby."

"That's all?"

"Can't afford to trust anyone else."

"I thought that, too," I told him as I got another bandage ready.

"What?" he looked over his shoulder at me.

"I thought I could only ever trust me. Then, you guys walked into the diner. You know the story from there."

Dean gave a non-committal huff.

"Believe me, don't believe me. It's the truth. You can never say that I've lied to you, Dean. I've been honest, even when you didn't like what I had to say."

"Yeah, I guess you have."

I put the last piece of tape on his skin. "There. Fresh bandage and it looks good. Need any Tylenol?"

"I can--" he started to get up and I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Let me. I have to put the rest of this stuff back anyway."

I stood in front of him with the pills and a glass of water.. "You can trust me, Dean. You don't have to, but you can."

He swallowed the pills and looked at me with pain etched on his face. "How do I know that?"

"You just have to take a chance," I gave him a small smile.

"I don't know how to do that," his eyes looked so sorrowful.

"Just a little at a time," I squeezed his hand. "Once you get to know me, it will be easier."

***

I awoke to Dean tossing and turning in bed.

He was mumbling, but I distinctly heard him call out, "Mom!" before he sat up in bed. I heard him trying to catch his breath.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just get weird dreams sometimes when I drink," he stood up and walked into the bathroom.

When he was on his way back to bed, I asked him, "What do you remember about your mom?"

"What the hell!"

"I'm just trying to get to know you better, understand you."

"You want to understand me?" he was standing between the beds. "Understand this."

In one swift movement I was pulled to my feet and against his body. All at once, my breath was gone, taken away by Dean’s hungry kisses.

I forgot my hesitation as Dean’s hands moved over my body. Clothes were shed and Dean didn’t allow for any inhibitions of mine. He was enthusiastic in bed. His tastes bordered a little on the kinky side. I didn’t know that I liked some of what I would have considered forbidden before .

After feeling like I’d run a marathon, soaked in sweat, I laid there beside Dean. His breathing was still ragged.

“What does this mean?” I asked him when I got enough nerve.

“What do you mean?”

“Was this a one-time thing for you or the start of a relationship?”

Dean gave a deep chuckle. “I wasn’t just sampling the merchandise. I knew what I was getting into. I’ve never met a girl who can make me crazy and still get under my skin like you do.”

“So this is an ’us’?”

“Yes. Just don’t try to get me to talk all the time. I’m not good with words.”

“I just want you to be who you are. I wouldn’t dream of changing you.”

***

John and Sam noticed a change the next day but didn’t mention it. We were as Missouri had told us we’d be, three couples. We fell into a routine. There was a rotation over who I spent the night with. Yet, everyday I had a few minutes with each of them. Time to check in and see how they were doing or for a goodnight kiss.

I quickly learned how each of them was unique in the bedroom. John liked worn familiarity of nightgowns. He had simple tastes and talked more to me in the dark than he did all day. When asleep, he held me tight, as if afraid I would be taken from him.

Sam enjoyed seeing me in his T-shirts, which he said always looked better on me. He’d talk to me anytime but the heartfelt ones came in the night. Nightmares of Jessica’s death still plagued him and he felt guilty every time I comforted him after he woke up because he swore that he loved me now. I told him that part of his heart would always love Jessica, it was just the way it was meant to be. He held me in his sleep but it wasn’t nearly as tight as John’s grasp.

Dean preferred us being naked as quick as possible. His method of seduction didn’t allow for any self-consciousness or body issues on my part. He took me down roads that I didn’t even know existed. But, there was a trust between us that was like a safety net. I was able to be a very secure woman with Dean. Words from him were few, but I cherished every one. I didn’t push or pry. I just encouraged him to keep talking once he had started.

Each of them had experienced more pain and loss than anyone should have to. They were broken in different ways but broken just the same. Folks could never tell by the way they were during the day. It was just under the cloak of darkness to the one person they could trust their heart with--me.

Title:  My Life With the Winchesters, Part 14
Rating:  R
Prompt:  8 - Shame
Disclaimer:  I own nothing Supernatural.
Summary:  Dean confuses Nora with his actions.  Sam tries to explain.


I saw more the country than I'd ever dreamed I would. I quickly grew accustomed to the road and shady motel rooms. All that remained the same was the guys in my life. They were all I needed.

Dean's table manners didn't get any better. He was too enthusiastic when he was eating and telling a story. I quickly learned not to look in his direction when food was involved.

Long words flew out of Sam's mouth and right over my head. The three of us would stare at him until he spoke in plain English. I added more to my vocabulary as a result. Dean gained new material to tease Sam about. John remained two steps ahead of wherever we were. He was neutral toward Sam's smarts.

I graduated to wearing rugged boots and threw on any one of the guys' shirts if I needed another layer. I wasn't allowed on hunts and I didn't want to go in the first place. I was, however, able to help with some of reading and took over writing in the journal. After hearing them argue over an entry that was illegible (It was written with a bum hand), I ended it by declaring myself the secretary of the group. Everyone could read what I wrote and I wasn't injured as often as they were. I was always a clumsy girl, and kept up with my usual rate of accidents.

"How do you fall over something that isn't there?" Dean apparently thought I'd lost my hearing in my tumble to the ground.

"What?" I snapped.

Sam tried to warn his brother. "Dean . . ."

"How do you do it? I'm just wondering."

"Would you be asking the same thing if it was Sam or John?"

He had the decency to look away but still said under his breath, "They wouldn't have tripped."

"Get your hands off me!" I yelled as I slapped at his hands when he reached to steady my stance. "I don't need your damn help!"

"Nora, you're not helping yourself--"

Standing just to my side, Sam watched wordlessly. He'd fought with Dean but had never seen anyone else do the same.

"Leave!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, furious at myself for lacking grace and Dean for making an issue out of it.

He raised his hands and stepped away before turning to stalk back to the car. I could feel Sam's presence behind me and slumped into his arms.

"I wasn't looking in your direction when you fell. How hurt are you?"

"How could he be like that?" Angry tears pushed their way though. "Have I just not noticed what an ass he is?"

Sam tilted his head to the side, considering what he wanted to say before he spoke. "Dean's scared of people being taken from him. Once he realized you weren't dying, he moved on to berating himself for 'letting' you stumble."

"Letting me? I didn't ask for his permission to fall flat on the ground."

"You didn't have to. He just takes on responsibility for those he loves." Sam adjusted his hold on me. "Ready to head to the car?"

"What do I say to Dean when I get there?"

"Damned if I know. That's something between the two of you. I'm not getting in the middle."

"Chicken!" I teased.

"Yep. And I'm not afraid to admit it."

Title:  Alone
Rating: R
Prompt:  19 - whispered
Disclaimer:  I own nothing Supernatural.
Summary:  Dean tries to make a food run.  Sam has an intense response.

"Don't go!" "What is wrong, Sam?" Dean was startled when he saw the pure panic on Sam's face. He had his hand clutched around Dean's wrist. "I'm just going to get burgers."

"I'm not hungry! Don't go! Please!" Sam's desperation was growing and Dean feared he might have a panic attack.

Dean pried Sam's hand off and sat down in a chair. "I'm not going anywhere," he kept his voice calm and even. "What's going on?"

"I," Sam averted his eyes. "I just want you safe."

"Safe? We're hunters, Sam, and you're worried about me going to a restaurant? Doesn't that seem a little odd to you?" He was trying for a chuckle but instead he got a glare.

"I'm serious, Dean. Dead serious."

"Yeah. I know. That's what scares me. What has gotten into you?"

"A vision, okay? I had a vision!"

Sighing, Dean realized the enormity of the situation. He tried not to squeak when he asked, "You had a vision about a drive thru?"

"No. I saw you die. Die! Do you get it now?" He getting angry and his face grew more and more red. "And do you know where that left me? Alone, Dean. Nowhere really, just alone."

"I have a four weeks left. I'm not going anywhere until then. What brought this up?"

"It wasn't hellhounds or a demon. It was an accident. The Impala was crushed around you and they couldn't get you out in time."

"How do you know I was on a food run?"

"I don't. I only know I wasn't in the car."

"So I don't get to drive at all now?"

"Not until I figure it out." Sam brushed his hair off of his forehead. "There has to be a way around your deal. I'll find the loophole we haven't discovered yet."

"I know you'll fix it, Sammy. But, staying out of the car until you do isn't feasible. You know that, right?"

Stubbornly, Sam shook his head. "No. I don't know that. Keeping you away from the Impala and with me is the only way to keep you alive long enough to save you. Unless you want to leave me alone?" Tears shone in his eyes and it broke Dean's heart.

"I'd never leave you, if I had a choice."

"You HAD a choice, Dean. You chose to bring me back. How could you do that to me? Knowing that you would leave me behind?"

Dean swallowed hard. "I couldn't live without you here. Maybe it's selfish, but I needed you. I still do."

"Need you, too." Sam looked so broken. Dean had no other option but to gather Sam into his arms. He tried to hold the pieces of Sam together, knowing that no glue would be strong enough to keep Sam in one piece once he was gone.

He rocked Sam slightly as he murmured promises that he couldn't keep. The words sounded good even though Sam realized that they were empty. Dean was still trying, he was still there. He was with Sam until the hellhounds came. He wasn't going to build walls between them unless death forced him to.