(One Piece-General. 21. Rejected.)
Title: I Love You; I’m Sorry
Fandom: One Piece
Characters: Zoro/Sanji, mentions of Luffy (implied Zoro/Luffy)
Prompt: 079-Rejected
Word Count: 663
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: None really, except a lot of angst
Summary: Takes place in the future. Sanji has to make a choice.
Sanji was a man who rarely hesitated. He took great lengths to be sure of himself and sure of his choices, before he made them. He thought ahead so that when he came to a fork in the road, he knew which way to turn. There were some exceptions, usually when it came to women; his mind instantly goes to that horribly humiliating defeat in Enies Lobby when he’d known Robin had been waiting for him, and yet he’d still allowed himself to be careless in his fight with a woman. But, for the most part, Sanji was a man who rarely hesitated.
But now, he finds himself standing here, torn between the sails of Pirate King Luffy’s ship and the familiar wooden deck of the Baratie, floating atop the magnificent waters of All Blue. He’s standing between the life he’s dreamed of since he can remember, and the life he never knew he would want, both ready and willing for him to climb on board.
He taps his foot, impatient, stalling, his fingers shaking around his cigarette and he pulls it away from his lips and lets a wisp of smoke escape.
“So,” he says in a quiet breath, “you’re staying?”
The swordsman he’s addressing-now the greatest in the world-shifts and won’t meet his eyes, uncomfortable and awkward.
“Yeah. You know-promised Luffy.” He does not mention any of the promises made to Sanji; words spoken against flesh late at night in the throes of ecstasy. “You understand.”
“Of course.” The words are a lump in his throat. He swallows, hard, knowing he should turn around now; he should go now before he can’t and he lets this ocean and this restaurant and his dream get away from him. He knows he’ll regret staying. He knows, but it’s so hard to believe when it’s all right there and he just take Zoro’s hand and have it-have him-without resistance. And he can’t bring himself to ask Zoro to join him; he can’t compromise his promise or his goal. Because Zoro won’t do the same.
So he turns around, not too slow and not too fast, trying to appear cool and calm and casual. He starts to extend his leg, to step across the short expanse of air that lies between him and the deck of the Baratie. He starts to, but-
“Sanji.”
Zoro says his name. Not “pervert cook” or “shithead” or “dart brow” or even that mocking tone he uses to call him “prince”. But his name. And he stops with his back turned and his ears open.
“Yeah?” He asks, probing, waiting, and damn hopeful.
“I’ll be seeing you.”
The words crash down on him, heavy and cold. His chest aches; he almost can’t breathe. And shit, but he can feel them-tears-building up rapidly in the corner of his eyes.
“Oi, Sanji?”
He won’t let him see. He won’t let Zoro pity him.
“Yeah.” He clears his throat and manages a wide grin, so Zoro can hear it in his voice. “I’ll see you around. Take care of Luffy, yeah?” His voice wavers at the end and he hates himself for it. He hopes Zoro doesn’t notice, but he knows he will.
“Sanji-”
His mind is screaming, screaming at Zoro, stop saying my name like you’re in love with me, dammit, it isn’t fair and he squeezes his eyes shut and raises the hand that holds his cigarette in a faint wave.
“Sanji, wait-”
But he won’t. Not anymore. And he steps forward, onto the wooden deck and walks, fast, with his heart breaking and the restaurant door shutting behind him with his eyes closed and streaming, and images of green sea and green mikan trees and green hair are flashing through his mind, and when he opens his eyes everything is green and he wishes he could love other colors. And he knows someday he will. And he hates himself for it.