(One Piece-General. 22. Nervous.)
Title: Not a Good Idea
Fandom: One Piece
Characters: Nami x Usopp, the Straw Hats
Prompt: 067-Nervous
Word Count: 431
Rating: PG-13 to be safe
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Summary: Beautiful girls make boys do foolish things.
Usopp was almost ninety-two percent certain that this was not a good idea.
This is just a joke gone too far. This is just Luffy being silly and getting a feel for each and every power his position as ship captain entitles him to. This is just Nami being beautiful and crafty and always getting her way. This is just him, Usopp, being jittery and ridiculous with his virgin fancies and his lousy habit of being blinded by Nami being beautiful when she says words like “marriage” and “if you love me, you’ll…”
This is just hormones. And any minute now, they’re all going to grow up and become mature young people with beards and common sense, and they’ll see how foolish this kind of thing is and Zoro will stop laughing and Sanji will stop threatening to poison Usopp and Usopp will not wake up tomorrow with a ring on his finger.
He wishes they would hurry and grow up. As in, right now.
Because, really, Brave Pirate Usopp is not ready to be married. And shouldn’t he check with Kaya first? And Nami isn’t really supposed to want him. That’s just for those days when it’s so hot he can see the air melting, and she’s in a bikini, getting a tan, and he’s thinking about colors that he isn’t really supposed to know about and-and-she isn’t supposed to really love him. And he should be happy about it, and he is, sometimes, when she’s smiling at him and her arm feels nice against his. But not when he’s a walking bundle of nerves with Robin’s extra arms holding him still, and Nami’s all in white and Chopper’s handing Luffy the rings and Sanji’s being more obvious when he’s trying not to cry than when he really is and Franky’s joking to Zoro about the honeymoon suite he’s built for the wedding night.
This is him not having any choice in anything and knowing that Sogeking would’ve valiantly escaped by now. This is Nami stepping on his foot when it’s his turn to speak and he says he’s contracted a sudden illness. This is rice and a general dizzying feeling that’s it’s all a dream when it isn’t. This is her hands in his hair and her lips on his mouth and this is the two of them running on hormones and it really isn’t a good idea.
And he doesn’t care. Because he knows it won’t matter until he’s grown a beard. And even then, she’ll probably just tell him, “If you love me, you’ll shave.”