chaeldub: Perverted To A Desire To Deprive (Colin, M)
Title: Perverted To A Desire To Deprive
Author:
chaeldub
Rating: M
Prompt Set: (50.3)
Prompt: #23, Envy
Word Count: 1592
Summary: You finally become aware and can't have what you want.
Warnings: Angst - but where Colin's involved that's pretty much a given... contains traces of Harry/Draco
Notes: not affiliated with the Solace series.
The camera was placed carefully back in its velvet-lined box. The exterior of the container was worn smooth, many times Colin had sat it on his lap and just rubbed the carved satinwood. The camera had belonged to his father, and his father before him. It was, is, a family heirloom. In some families a camera wouldn’t really mean all that much. Colin’s camera, however, was special, particularly for him. The mechanism itself wasn’t spectacular, it just whirred and clicked and took pictures. It was what he did with the film afterwards that was magical.
~~**~~**~~
No-one found it strange that a First Year could perform such a complicated potion. They didn’t ask, so, Colin never told them. He was never happy with his pictures from that time. They always seemed hurried and out of focus. The subjects never managed to have a life of their own like in is later works. There was a photograph of Harry Potter that was the only one of any real distinction. He knew that he had really annoyed Harry, he just hadn’t known it then. As he hadn’t perfected the technique, the photograph was stuck in a loop of only a few seconds. Harry had just stepped out from a disused classroom. Colin didn’t recognise the passage they were in, he had never ventured into this part of the school before. Quite probably he would not have ever seen it, if he hadn’t been following Harry.
The look on Harry’s face was captured in a half-light from the doorway. The shadows accentuating his features, the fair skin covered in part darkness, part light. At the time he had been so exhilarated at managing to capture the image that he didn't register what the look contained. Harry, in Colin’s mind, looked happy, always did. When his finger pushed down on the button and the shutter went click, Harry’s expression changed. Harry shouted at Colin to leave him alone, go bother someone else and stormed off down the corridor.
It wasn’t until his fourth year at Hogwarts, when he was asked to join DA, that he went back to that photo. It had sat at the bottom of a box of many discarded pictures. There were half exposures, and bad attempts at artistic shots. Student portraits that had walked off the paper and staff pictures that were redone at a later date. The pictures he’d taken of Quidditch were still humorous. The speed had been set wrong and there just appeared to be a swirling mass of colours, very abstract, but not what he‘d been hoping for. Colin had dug Harry’s picture out on a whim. His eye was now trained to pick the most minor faults in his work. It wasn’t a scratch or such that had taken him by surprise. It was the person he could see through the partly closed door. Draco Malfoy, trying to look away, trying to hide his tears. Colin had never noticed this before, being so enraptured with Harry himself.
It dawned on him, that wherever there was Harry, there was usually Draco. The Slytherin boy was being his overbearing, antagonistic and smarmy self on most occasions, but he was still there. So Colin pulled out one photo album after another searching for pictures of Harry, which wasn’t all that hard. Draco wasn’t in all of them, not by a long shot, but he was present in more than a few. Usually, he was pulling faces or making obscene finger gestures. Then Colin saw it, a picture he’d taken almost purely by accident, from the fifth floor window, down onto one of Hogwarts many courtyards. He had thought it was cute at the time, being that it was Valentines Day. Whilst he was sure the couple wanted their privacy, he needed a picture for the Gryffindor Newsletter. He had glimpsed the House colours and whipped his camera out and taken the snap. Only now, could he finally see who the couple was. He had cropped it for time in the Newsletter, allowing only a few seconds. On it’s page all you would have seen were a dark haired Gryffindor kissing someone hidden by shadow. Here, in all its glory, he could see the green and silver sliding out of the shadows. The white-blonde hair glistening in the February sunlight. Harry, tenderly taking Draco’s face in his hands and gently kissing his lips.
A little piece of him broke, seeing that stolen moment, but another became hardened with resolve. Colin had learned everything there was to learn about Harry Potter when he was told he would be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Then, after meeting the young boy for the first time, he became infatuated. At first it was just hero worship, this was after all the-boy-who-lived. Over time, this grew into something more. Harry was everywhere, in his House, at breakfast, Quidditch, not to mention all the weird goings on in within the halls that he was involved with. Colin tried to be objective, tried in vain just to take informative pictures for his family and his albums. The more he tried to not take Harry's photo, the more he found himself in his darkroom developing his picture.
How no-one else could see that Harry and Draco were sneaking around together was beyond him. He wanted to say something, to tell someone, but he couldn’t betray Harry. So instead he just snuck around the school’s corridors, hiding behind suits of armour, blending into the background, documenting the affair. A rendezvous after a Quidditch match. Click. Coming out of the Room of Requirement late one evening. Snap.
Then it stopped. Draco withdrew himself, he looked pale and wan in the pictures Colin took. Harry looked tired and worried, so much so, that Colin decided he had to say something. He had approached him late one night, as Harry was coming down a corridor on the third floor. Colin had told him that he wasn’t going anywhere until Harry explained what was going on. There had been a short but heated argument, in which Harry had defended his sullen demeanour and Colin expressed his true feelings. He remembered pouring his heart out, telling Harry everything, including, the photo’s of the dissolving relationship between the Gryffindor and the Slytherin. In hindsight, as he sat on his backside nursing his sore jaw, telling Harry everything was probably a mistake, he did have a bit of a temper.
“…but Harry I love you.”
Harry had begun to walk away but swung around, his face flushed, his voice full of vitriol.
“Do you have any idea what that means? Colin I love Draco, and I can’t be with him.”
Colin felt the tears well up in his eyes, his face was burning red. He struggled to his knees, begged and pleaded, all to no avail.
“I… Harry, I’ve always…”
“What the fuck, Colin? What have you always? Snuck around, followed and taken pictures like some sort of fucking pervert?”
“No! No, Harry, it wasn’t like that. I lov… I… I...” he stammered, but Colin knew it was to late.
“I let him go, Colin, stupidly let my pride get in the way. Draco and I had something, we still do, if I try hard enough to get him back.” Harry words cut at him.
“I’m sorry, Harry. I never meant to…”
“Bullshit, you hate what we have, had, argh, but it wont make any difference. I’ll never be with you, Colin, not while I can still have him.”
Colin had let him leave then, had let him go be with the one he had chosen. It didn’t mean that his jealousy would lessen in any way. If anything this only made the whole situation worse. Knowing that he had driven Harry back into the arms of his lover made him want him even more. Why did he have to be born the son of a milkman? Why couldn’t he have been born a pure blood like Malfoy? If he had been sorted into Slytherin would Harry have fallen for him? These were the questions that haunted his every waking moment, every time he saw them together or even heard their names mentioned.
~~**~~**~~
Colin closed the latch on the camera box, making sure it was locked, then tucked it under his bed. It might be a family heirloom but it had caused him no end of trouble. If he had never taken that picture in the courtyard he would never have discovered Harry and Draco. Having a dream of being with Harry was much better than being envious of his relationship. The problem that had confronted him was that one sin inevitably lead to another. He hated feeling like this, he began to despise Harry for rejecting him, he derided Draco any chance he got. Colin lifted his wand from his nightstand, and slipped it under his cloak. It was well past bedtime, the prefects would no doubt be patrolling the corridors, but he was always careful to blend in. He would go down into the dungeon, wait for Draco to come back from one of his late night excursions and then he would end this charade. Why he hadn’t thought of this earlier escaped him, but he would finish it now. No Draco, nothing to be jealous of, and if he was gone then he could feel better. His heart was heavy and his mind always cloudy. When that slimy Slytherin was out of the way, then he and Harry could finally be together.
Author:
chaeldub
Rating: M
Prompt Set: (50.3)
Prompt: #23, Envy
Word Count: 1592
Summary: You finally become aware and can't have what you want.
Warnings: Angst - but where Colin's involved that's pretty much a given... contains traces of Harry/Draco
Notes: not affiliated with the Solace series.
The camera was placed carefully back in its velvet-lined box. The exterior of the container was worn smooth, many times Colin had sat it on his lap and just rubbed the carved satinwood. The camera had belonged to his father, and his father before him. It was, is, a family heirloom. In some families a camera wouldn’t really mean all that much. Colin’s camera, however, was special, particularly for him. The mechanism itself wasn’t spectacular, it just whirred and clicked and took pictures. It was what he did with the film afterwards that was magical.
~~**~~**~~
No-one found it strange that a First Year could perform such a complicated potion. They didn’t ask, so, Colin never told them. He was never happy with his pictures from that time. They always seemed hurried and out of focus. The subjects never managed to have a life of their own like in is later works. There was a photograph of Harry Potter that was the only one of any real distinction. He knew that he had really annoyed Harry, he just hadn’t known it then. As he hadn’t perfected the technique, the photograph was stuck in a loop of only a few seconds. Harry had just stepped out from a disused classroom. Colin didn’t recognise the passage they were in, he had never ventured into this part of the school before. Quite probably he would not have ever seen it, if he hadn’t been following Harry.
The look on Harry’s face was captured in a half-light from the doorway. The shadows accentuating his features, the fair skin covered in part darkness, part light. At the time he had been so exhilarated at managing to capture the image that he didn't register what the look contained. Harry, in Colin’s mind, looked happy, always did. When his finger pushed down on the button and the shutter went click, Harry’s expression changed. Harry shouted at Colin to leave him alone, go bother someone else and stormed off down the corridor.
It wasn’t until his fourth year at Hogwarts, when he was asked to join DA, that he went back to that photo. It had sat at the bottom of a box of many discarded pictures. There were half exposures, and bad attempts at artistic shots. Student portraits that had walked off the paper and staff pictures that were redone at a later date. The pictures he’d taken of Quidditch were still humorous. The speed had been set wrong and there just appeared to be a swirling mass of colours, very abstract, but not what he‘d been hoping for. Colin had dug Harry’s picture out on a whim. His eye was now trained to pick the most minor faults in his work. It wasn’t a scratch or such that had taken him by surprise. It was the person he could see through the partly closed door. Draco Malfoy, trying to look away, trying to hide his tears. Colin had never noticed this before, being so enraptured with Harry himself.
It dawned on him, that wherever there was Harry, there was usually Draco. The Slytherin boy was being his overbearing, antagonistic and smarmy self on most occasions, but he was still there. So Colin pulled out one photo album after another searching for pictures of Harry, which wasn’t all that hard. Draco wasn’t in all of them, not by a long shot, but he was present in more than a few. Usually, he was pulling faces or making obscene finger gestures. Then Colin saw it, a picture he’d taken almost purely by accident, from the fifth floor window, down onto one of Hogwarts many courtyards. He had thought it was cute at the time, being that it was Valentines Day. Whilst he was sure the couple wanted their privacy, he needed a picture for the Gryffindor Newsletter. He had glimpsed the House colours and whipped his camera out and taken the snap. Only now, could he finally see who the couple was. He had cropped it for time in the Newsletter, allowing only a few seconds. On it’s page all you would have seen were a dark haired Gryffindor kissing someone hidden by shadow. Here, in all its glory, he could see the green and silver sliding out of the shadows. The white-blonde hair glistening in the February sunlight. Harry, tenderly taking Draco’s face in his hands and gently kissing his lips.
A little piece of him broke, seeing that stolen moment, but another became hardened with resolve. Colin had learned everything there was to learn about Harry Potter when he was told he would be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Then, after meeting the young boy for the first time, he became infatuated. At first it was just hero worship, this was after all the-boy-who-lived. Over time, this grew into something more. Harry was everywhere, in his House, at breakfast, Quidditch, not to mention all the weird goings on in within the halls that he was involved with. Colin tried to be objective, tried in vain just to take informative pictures for his family and his albums. The more he tried to not take Harry's photo, the more he found himself in his darkroom developing his picture.
How no-one else could see that Harry and Draco were sneaking around together was beyond him. He wanted to say something, to tell someone, but he couldn’t betray Harry. So instead he just snuck around the school’s corridors, hiding behind suits of armour, blending into the background, documenting the affair. A rendezvous after a Quidditch match. Click. Coming out of the Room of Requirement late one evening. Snap.
Then it stopped. Draco withdrew himself, he looked pale and wan in the pictures Colin took. Harry looked tired and worried, so much so, that Colin decided he had to say something. He had approached him late one night, as Harry was coming down a corridor on the third floor. Colin had told him that he wasn’t going anywhere until Harry explained what was going on. There had been a short but heated argument, in which Harry had defended his sullen demeanour and Colin expressed his true feelings. He remembered pouring his heart out, telling Harry everything, including, the photo’s of the dissolving relationship between the Gryffindor and the Slytherin. In hindsight, as he sat on his backside nursing his sore jaw, telling Harry everything was probably a mistake, he did have a bit of a temper.
“…but Harry I love you.”
Harry had begun to walk away but swung around, his face flushed, his voice full of vitriol.
“Do you have any idea what that means? Colin I love Draco, and I can’t be with him.”
Colin felt the tears well up in his eyes, his face was burning red. He struggled to his knees, begged and pleaded, all to no avail.
“I… Harry, I’ve always…”
“What the fuck, Colin? What have you always? Snuck around, followed and taken pictures like some sort of fucking pervert?”
“No! No, Harry, it wasn’t like that. I lov… I… I...” he stammered, but Colin knew it was to late.
“I let him go, Colin, stupidly let my pride get in the way. Draco and I had something, we still do, if I try hard enough to get him back.” Harry words cut at him.
“I’m sorry, Harry. I never meant to…”
“Bullshit, you hate what we have, had, argh, but it wont make any difference. I’ll never be with you, Colin, not while I can still have him.”
Colin had let him leave then, had let him go be with the one he had chosen. It didn’t mean that his jealousy would lessen in any way. If anything this only made the whole situation worse. Knowing that he had driven Harry back into the arms of his lover made him want him even more. Why did he have to be born the son of a milkman? Why couldn’t he have been born a pure blood like Malfoy? If he had been sorted into Slytherin would Harry have fallen for him? These were the questions that haunted his every waking moment, every time he saw them together or even heard their names mentioned.
~~**~~**~~
Colin closed the latch on the camera box, making sure it was locked, then tucked it under his bed. It might be a family heirloom but it had caused him no end of trouble. If he had never taken that picture in the courtyard he would never have discovered Harry and Draco. Having a dream of being with Harry was much better than being envious of his relationship. The problem that had confronted him was that one sin inevitably lead to another. He hated feeling like this, he began to despise Harry for rejecting him, he derided Draco any chance he got. Colin lifted his wand from his nightstand, and slipped it under his cloak. It was well past bedtime, the prefects would no doubt be patrolling the corridors, but he was always careful to blend in. He would go down into the dungeon, wait for Draco to come back from one of his late night excursions and then he would end this charade. Why he hadn’t thought of this earlier escaped him, but he would finish it now. No Draco, nothing to be jealous of, and if he was gone then he could feel better. His heart was heavy and his mind always cloudy. When that slimy Slytherin was out of the way, then he and Harry could finally be together.