Dangerous Mind 「 v. dead end 」
Author’s Note: This is perhaps my favorite chapter thus far, and the most proofread one out of all that I’ve written up to here. =o=; In any case, at the pace I’m going, I am probably going to have to replan the outline of the future chapters (possibly meaning more and/or longer chapters for all of you readers :P). If anyone has been following the contents page, everything is probably going to be pushed back a little to make room for 1-3 new chapters.
Anyhow, that’s more of my own concern, so for now, happy reading!
“Why do you do this?”
“Why do I do what?”
Changmin turned to look at Jaejoong sitting next to him in the driver’s seat, surprised to see that the man was really ignorant about what he was implying. “Be Yoochun’s thug, be a murderer.” Changmin emphasized the last word with great disgust.
Jaejoong looked at Changmin piercingly and the words he said next were each said with dripping bitterness. “You had a good life growing up-no, you had a fantastic life, better than most kid. Yoochun and I, our lives were shit. We had to do what we did in order to survive.”
He looked at the other man, watching as each and every single word was absorbed by Changmin. Changmin stayed quiet, thinking carefully to himself how he could phrase his next question, but there was no delicate way to voice it, so he just asked bluntly, “What happened to your parents?”
It was quiet inside the car at first, but then Jaejoong said softly, “They died when I was eleven.”
“How?”
Jaejoong shrugged and said indifferently, “My old man had an affair, and the old lady found out and killed him-and then herself out of resentment. I was sent to an orphanage afterwards.”
Changmin looked thoughtful and sympathetic. “Is that how you met Yoochun?”
“No, we met after I was ‘adopted’ by his guardian.” His voice was once again dripping with bitterness. The atmosphere in the car became even tenser than before, and Changmin was torn between continuing his barrage of questions or to just change the subject entirely. Finally, he started to speak again, “So-”
“Let’s just sit quietly until our target comes out.” Jaejoong propped his elbow on the side of the car, resting his head lightly in his hand. He could feel the memories of that nightmare house returning after many years of pushing it into the darkest corner of his mind. That box will never be opened again, he thought to himself, silently imagining the box of memories being locked up again and placed somewhere to be forgotten.
The aura radiating off Jaejoong was always changing, Changmin noticed with wonder. Even though he could be joking, he could be kind, he could be thoughtful, each and every one of those natures was tainted with a twisted sense. He could not get into that man’s head. Changmin paused for a moment, wondering with a sinking feeling whether or not he even truly wanted to know what went on in Jaejoong’s dark world. The horrors that would await him there would most likely be too traumatizing for the common person to comprehend.
The two men stayed quiet in the car, neither one speaking or recognizing the other’s presence. After a long pregnant silence, Jaejoong suddenly spoke up, asking what seemed to be an insignificant question. “How do you fall asleep?”
Changmin stared at him peculiarly. “What do you mean?”
Jaejoong’s posture never once changed as he continued speaking softly, “You always seem to sleep so soundly no matter where you are.” He paused for a moment, wondering whether or not he should continue. He then turned away from the window, leaning back in his seat and staring at the ceiling of the car with a blank expression. “I’ve had insomnia, for twelve years.”
Changmin started to stutter, but Jaejoong interrupted him. “I’ve slept, but I never really slept. There always seems to be a conscious part of me on alert at all time.”
Changmin once again started to speak, but Jaejoong cut him off before even a sound could be made. “Never mind. There, our target is moving.”
But Changmin could not dismiss the thought entirely. He looked at Jaejoong worriedly for a second before his eyes traveled to where Jaejoong’s attention was fixated on. Jaejoong opened the door, moving carefully out of the car while still remaining unknown. He turned to Changmin, whispering lowly again, “Follow my lead, don’t do anything to throw him off or I’m going to beat you to death later.”
Changmin held back a gulp, knowing full well Jaejoong meant every single word he had uttered.
They got out of the car, glancing carefully for oncoming traffic before crossing the street. The man they were following continued to walk normally, still unaware that he was being tailed. They walked for a few more blocks in this manner before Jaejoong quickened his pace, moving up close to behind the man and seizing the collar of his suit jacket. He yanked the man into an alley, hiding behind a large dumpster. Changmin followed nervously and cautiously, growing more and more nervous as he was about to really begin his first assignment.
He walked into the alley quickly to where Jaejoong was, and as soon as he was behind the dumpster as well, he was shocked to already find the man on his knees begging for his life.
“Please, Jaejoong, I really did not betray Yoochun’s trust.”
The man was swiftly struck across the face with so powerful a force that his head found contact with the building wall. He huddled close to the wall, his nose trickling with a thick stream of blood.
“What did you do with our flash drive then? Our sources revealed that you hacked into our system, and copied all of those data.”
The man rambled all sorts of nonsensical explanations, none of them satisfied Jaejoong. He promptly started kicking the man like an abused dog. Even during this assault, Jaejoong’s demeanor remained impassive. He dug the heel of his shoe into the man’s chest, pressing hard but still lightly enough for the man to breathe and speak. His voice was low and intimidating, “What did you do with the data?”
Except for faint whimpers, the man was quiet. He screamed out in agony when he felt Jaejoong pressing his shoe harder into his chest. “Alright! Alright! I’ll talk, please stop this! ”
Jaejoong calmly removed his foot from the man’s chest. “Well?”
The man clutched his chest, breathing heavily before finally finding his voice. “Yunho has it. He ordered me to steal the data, and he even gave me more money than Yoochun would ever give me if I would just do this one task.”
Jaejoong’s lips quivered slightly, and Changmin watched with awe that Jaejoong’s presence was so intimidating he was able to force the truth out of anyone with little brute force. He stiffened when he saw Jaejoong glancing at him and then walking towards him. “Let’s go.”
The man leaned down, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Wait a moment,” Jaejoong motioned for Changmin to stop. He turned halfway around and fired a clean shot straight for the man’s heart, and then he continued walking out of the alley normally, without a care for the man who sat horror-struck against the wall with blood flowing out of his chest. “Let’s go.”
Changmin felt his legs quaked, his eyes held the same horror fascination from earlier. He started to walk towards the man but he stopped when he heard Jaejoong’s irritated voice calling for him. He stared at the man with a heavy heart before quickly rushing back to Jaejoong’s side.
As they settled back in their car, Changmin watched as Jaejoong spoke on the phone, most likely to Yoochun. He winced visibly when he heard Yoochun’s angry voice yelling on the other line.
“Yes, sir, he said he gave it to Yunho.”
Changmin raised a brow slightly, wondering who this “Yunho” was that had Yoochun agitated.
“Should we head there now?” Jaejoong bit his lower lips, listening carefully to Yoochun’s every word. “I understand. We’ll retrieve it as soon as possible.”
The call ended, and Jaejoong quickly returned his phone to his pants pocket. As he began to pull out of the spot he was parked in, he heard Changmin’s meek voice spoke up. “Who is this ‘Yunho’?”
“He’s a fucking bastard,” was the only answer Changmin received. He could sense there must have been some sort of unpleasant history among the trio that had both Jaejoong and Yoochun on edge by the mere mention of that name.
The drive was quiet and peaceful at first, until Changmin resumed his earlier onslaught of questions. “Why did you kill him?”
Jaejoong glanced at Changmin with a piercing look. Changmin sunk into his seat, his nerves were on edge again. “I mean, you know, so I can know what to do in the future when a situation like that comes up again.”
Jaejoong did not buy a single word of that excuse, but he found himself explaining to Changmin anyway. “That is to prevent him from tipping off anyone else he might be associated with.”
“But what if he had more information you could use?”
“He won’t. He’s nothing but a greedy little messenger boy, and that very greed was his downfall. Learn from that if you want to avoid his fate.”
Changmin mouthed another meek “oh” before figuring that he should just stay quiet until they reach their destination. The rest of the car ride resumed its earlier quietude, and Changmin found the steady ride and cool breeze was lulling him to sleep. He really did try to keep his eyes opened, but the perpetual, even motion overpowered his will. Before long, he found himself drifting off into sleep, and the faint knowledge that Jaejoong would berate him later was no longer a concern for the young man.
Jaejoong eyed the other man from the corner of his eyes, his lips curved up a little into an amused smirk. “How do you fall asleep like that?”
“Where is it?” Jaejoong barged into the room, ignoring the men that were trying to restrain him. He approached a desk, watching with disgust as the person sitting in front of it turned his chair around to face Jaejoong, his face lighting up happily when he saw Jaejoong’s face.
“Jaejoong! It’s been far too long, how are you?”
“I asked you a question, Jung, where is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Yunho! ” Jaejoong reached across the desk and grabbed onto the front of Yunho’s shirt. He growled lowly when Yunho continued to smile sweetly at him.
“Who’s the kid?” Yunho turned his smile to Changmin, who shifted nervously from his position at the door. He then beckoned for the younger man to come closer, to which Changmin did so uncertainly.
“That’s none of your fucking business, now answer my question.”
Yunho put on a thoughtful expression, and then the smiling visage returned. “Are you jealous, Jaejoong?”
Jaejoong promptly struck Yunho. He watched as Yunho reached shakily for his bloodied nose. The growl from earlier returned when Yunho started laughing merrily. “You’re still the only one I love, Jaejoong. Come now, why are you still working for Yoochun and doing his dirty business?”
“For the last time, Jung, answer my question!”
“Or what?” Yunho smiled, turning his gaze over to Changmin. “He’s a prissy little fellow, isn’t he?”
Changmin wasn’t sure what he should do, he had never seen Jaejoong lose control like that. Everyone else he had killed or attacked, he did so in a chilling, calm manner like it was just a normal thing one would do as a daily routine, but right at this moment Changmin could sense Jaejoong’s burning desire to kill this blithe man.
“He’s just a little sore about the time I almost raped him.”
Changmin was shocked by the blunt explanation. Who was this man? How could he be so calm when Jaejoong, the Jaejoong was so close to blowing his brain out? Changmin looked at Jaejoong quickly, and he was so positive he could see Jaejoong’s murderous aura flaring wildly around him.
“And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for Yoochun,” he added, a hint of disappointment was in his tone. He then added as an afterthought, “And if Jaejoong didn’t beat the fuck out of me and nearly castrate me with his daggers. Seriously, you should stop carrying such sharp objects around like that. It’s very dangerous.”
“Enough. Where the fuck did you put that flash drive?”
“Why didn’t you say so? It’s right here.” Yunho gestured to the pocket inside his suit jacket. Jaejoong released his hold on Yunho and waited for him to get out the small object. Immediately, Jaejoong reached for the flash drive but Yunho had already moved back.
He shook a finger at Jaejoong disapprovingly. “What will you offer me for it?”
“Your life spared, you fucking prick,” Jaejoong answered, swiping the flash drive from Yunho. He examined the device for a moment before turning his gaze over to Yunho, his voice was a dangerous hiss. “You didn’t do anything to it, did you?”
Yunho pouted. “You’re always mean and untrusting towards me, Jaejoong, even though all I ever did was showered you with my undying love.” He turned to Changmin again, his pout still on his face. “He’s a mean old jerk isn’t he?”
Out of nowhere, Jaejoong pulled out the aforementioned dagger and positioned it deadly close to Yunho’s neck. The apex of the weapon touched his skin faintly, and he gulped worriedly when he felt the sharpness of the tip. “Fine, fine, just go! I didn’t even want the flash drive. I just needed an excuse to see your lovely face without Yoochun jumping down my throat.”
Jaejoong scoffed, already walking away from this infuriating man. He grabbed Changmin’s arm and yanked him out of the room.
“I love you, Jaejoong!”
“Go fuck yourself.”
Changmin glanced back and could see Yunho sighing heavily and sulking in his seat, and finally looking up and waving goodbye happily to Changmin.
He had no idea what had just happened.
As Jaejoong drove back to their base, Changmin continued to glance at Jaejoong nervously. He had even more questions to ask, but he didn’t want to be the one to finally make Jaejoong snap after the whole Yunho ordeal. He looked out his window, trying to find something to occupy his mind until they arrived at the base.
“Alright, go ahead and ask me, kid.”
Changmin looked at Jaejoong curiously. “You sure?”
“One question, so make it good.”
Changmin bit his lower lip. “How did you come to know him?”
“He was an old business associate until he started getting wise ideas.”
“…Do you really carry around daggers like that?” Changmin was quiet before adding, “I know you said one question, but back there, with the dagger, and…”
“You must always be prepared. Because of their bulky size, guns are easy to find, so I always keep a couple daggers handy for emergency situations.”
Changmin nodded understandably. He leaned back in his seat, his head turned sideways to watch the moving scenery. It was already dusk, and the day was almost over. His first day working for Yoochun was almost over. He furrowed his brow at the last thought. Yes, he wanted an escape from the mundane rich lifestyle, but he had never expected he would walk over to the criminal side.
He looked at Jaejoong from the corner of his eyes.
Would I become like him?
The thought sent a shiver down his spine. He just couldn’t see himself as a ruthless murderer like Jaejoong was, but then again, there must have been a point in Jaejoong’s life when he was just a regular person, right?
Even though he had asked so many questions today and even though he had seen the many different sides of Jaejoong since their meeting, there were still so many things he did not know about this man. What he did learn, was it simply just a shallow step into the pond? How deep must he swim before learning the truth about Kim Jaejoong?
And then there was Yoochun, the man who was always smiling sinisterly and keeping Jaejoong on a short leash. What led them to become the men they were today? One man was always smiling while the other one did not even seem to know the meaning of a smile. Master and servant, that was the role they played, and it seemed to have worked out well enough for them.
But with a new player entering their game, would it cause an unbalance?
How can I escape all of this?
They arrived at the base around seven, and Jaejoong had allowed Changmin to retire for the day. Changmin slowly entered his room, his mind was distracted by the incidents earlier, as well as his conflicting desire to escape.
He was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling vacantly before he heard a knock at the door. He sat up, his face was puzzled for a moment before answering, “Come in.”
To his surprise, it was Jaejoong. Even more surprising, Jaejoong was carrying a tray with food on it. Jaejoong walked over and placed the tray on the nightstand. “Eat up, you need to build up your strength, you skinny little rich boy.”
Changmin stared at the food questioningly. “Did you poison it?”
“There are better ways to kill a person.”
Changmin didn’t know whether or not that should have comforted him. He ate cautiously, his gaze occasionally turned to Jaejoong who was watching him eat with little interest. When he finally finished his meal, he turned around and was surprised to see Jaejoong sitting on his bed with his back pressed against the wall, his eyes closed, and his breathing soft and steady.
“Jaejoong?” Changmin walked over to Jaejoong, his hand was waving in front of Jaejoong’s face rapidly, but he received no response.
This was it.
He could escape now.
But as he turned towards the door, he felt Jaejoong grabbed his wrist. Changmin stiffened instantly, turning around uncertainly to meet Jaejoong’s calm stare. “I wasn’t leaving.” His voice was so meek, he knew Jaejoong could see through to his lie, and he feared for his safety in that moment.
“Stay here.” Jaejoong pulled Changmin over to where he was sitting. “I told you I don’t sleep as deeply as you do.”
Changmin nodded, wondering what Jaejoong would do to him now. He was shocked when Jaejoong leaned over, burying his face in the crook of Changmin’s neck. His breathing was calm again, and it felt so warm against his skin. “Jaejoong?”
Changmin listened to the familiar silence that seemed to always follow this man. He looked down to see Jaejoong’s mindless stare. He reached out shakily to touch Jaejoong’s dark hair, and was surprised when he didn’t receive a backlash. He let his fingers continued to weave through the silky locks mesmerizingly. He was so caught up in this he almost didn’t hear Jaejoong speak.
“What is the meaning of ‘happiness’?”
Changmin blinked, his eyes were wide as he pondered over Jaejoong's peculiar question. “Well, happiness is…” His voice trailed off as he tried to figure out how to word his answer appropriately. “Happiness is sacrificing your own happiness so that the person you care for most is happy.”
Jaejoong stayed quiet, apparently trying to absorb in Changmin’s explanation. When he finally registered the words, he asked sadly, “Then why am I so miserable?”
Changmin looked at Jaejoong’s downcast face. He didn’t know how to respond, especially when he had already reached the conclusion that Jaejoong was devoid of all feelings. However, right now, in this very room, at this very moment, Changmin could see a helpless child who was unable to love or even comprehend it because he was more than likely deprived of it. He only knew what he was told to do, and nothing else.
Changmin wrapped an arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders, pulling the other man closer to him. He watched as Jaejoong drowsily closed his eyes. At that moment, Changmin wished he knew what to do. He was torn between making his escape and staying by Jaejoong’s side. For a killer, Jaejoong looked very angelic as he slept. Beautifully soft ebony hair contrasted his pale skin perfectly, adding further to his lethal beauty, and Changmin found it beckoning him to come closer.
He stopped suddenly when he realized what he was doing. Returning to his earlier position, Changmin buried his reddened face in his hands. He lowered his shields a little, enough so that his eyes could glance at Jaejoong’s sleeping form. He quickly covered his face again, groaning softly to himself, “What are you doing to me now, Jaejoong?”
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Anyhow, that’s more of my own concern, so for now, happy reading!
“Why do you do this?”
“Why do I do what?”
Changmin turned to look at Jaejoong sitting next to him in the driver’s seat, surprised to see that the man was really ignorant about what he was implying. “Be Yoochun’s thug, be a murderer.” Changmin emphasized the last word with great disgust.
Jaejoong looked at Changmin piercingly and the words he said next were each said with dripping bitterness. “You had a good life growing up-no, you had a fantastic life, better than most kid. Yoochun and I, our lives were shit. We had to do what we did in order to survive.”
He looked at the other man, watching as each and every single word was absorbed by Changmin. Changmin stayed quiet, thinking carefully to himself how he could phrase his next question, but there was no delicate way to voice it, so he just asked bluntly, “What happened to your parents?”
It was quiet inside the car at first, but then Jaejoong said softly, “They died when I was eleven.”
“How?”
Jaejoong shrugged and said indifferently, “My old man had an affair, and the old lady found out and killed him-and then herself out of resentment. I was sent to an orphanage afterwards.”
Changmin looked thoughtful and sympathetic. “Is that how you met Yoochun?”
“No, we met after I was ‘adopted’ by his guardian.” His voice was once again dripping with bitterness. The atmosphere in the car became even tenser than before, and Changmin was torn between continuing his barrage of questions or to just change the subject entirely. Finally, he started to speak again, “So-”
“Let’s just sit quietly until our target comes out.” Jaejoong propped his elbow on the side of the car, resting his head lightly in his hand. He could feel the memories of that nightmare house returning after many years of pushing it into the darkest corner of his mind. That box will never be opened again, he thought to himself, silently imagining the box of memories being locked up again and placed somewhere to be forgotten.
The aura radiating off Jaejoong was always changing, Changmin noticed with wonder. Even though he could be joking, he could be kind, he could be thoughtful, each and every one of those natures was tainted with a twisted sense. He could not get into that man’s head. Changmin paused for a moment, wondering with a sinking feeling whether or not he even truly wanted to know what went on in Jaejoong’s dark world. The horrors that would await him there would most likely be too traumatizing for the common person to comprehend.
The two men stayed quiet in the car, neither one speaking or recognizing the other’s presence. After a long pregnant silence, Jaejoong suddenly spoke up, asking what seemed to be an insignificant question. “How do you fall asleep?”
Changmin stared at him peculiarly. “What do you mean?”
Jaejoong’s posture never once changed as he continued speaking softly, “You always seem to sleep so soundly no matter where you are.” He paused for a moment, wondering whether or not he should continue. He then turned away from the window, leaning back in his seat and staring at the ceiling of the car with a blank expression. “I’ve had insomnia, for twelve years.”
Changmin started to stutter, but Jaejoong interrupted him. “I’ve slept, but I never really slept. There always seems to be a conscious part of me on alert at all time.”
Changmin once again started to speak, but Jaejoong cut him off before even a sound could be made. “Never mind. There, our target is moving.”
But Changmin could not dismiss the thought entirely. He looked at Jaejoong worriedly for a second before his eyes traveled to where Jaejoong’s attention was fixated on. Jaejoong opened the door, moving carefully out of the car while still remaining unknown. He turned to Changmin, whispering lowly again, “Follow my lead, don’t do anything to throw him off or I’m going to beat you to death later.”
Changmin held back a gulp, knowing full well Jaejoong meant every single word he had uttered.
They got out of the car, glancing carefully for oncoming traffic before crossing the street. The man they were following continued to walk normally, still unaware that he was being tailed. They walked for a few more blocks in this manner before Jaejoong quickened his pace, moving up close to behind the man and seizing the collar of his suit jacket. He yanked the man into an alley, hiding behind a large dumpster. Changmin followed nervously and cautiously, growing more and more nervous as he was about to really begin his first assignment.
He walked into the alley quickly to where Jaejoong was, and as soon as he was behind the dumpster as well, he was shocked to already find the man on his knees begging for his life.
“Please, Jaejoong, I really did not betray Yoochun’s trust.”
The man was swiftly struck across the face with so powerful a force that his head found contact with the building wall. He huddled close to the wall, his nose trickling with a thick stream of blood.
“What did you do with our flash drive then? Our sources revealed that you hacked into our system, and copied all of those data.”
The man rambled all sorts of nonsensical explanations, none of them satisfied Jaejoong. He promptly started kicking the man like an abused dog. Even during this assault, Jaejoong’s demeanor remained impassive. He dug the heel of his shoe into the man’s chest, pressing hard but still lightly enough for the man to breathe and speak. His voice was low and intimidating, “What did you do with the data?”
Except for faint whimpers, the man was quiet. He screamed out in agony when he felt Jaejoong pressing his shoe harder into his chest. “Alright! Alright! I’ll talk, please stop this! ”
Jaejoong calmly removed his foot from the man’s chest. “Well?”
The man clutched his chest, breathing heavily before finally finding his voice. “Yunho has it. He ordered me to steal the data, and he even gave me more money than Yoochun would ever give me if I would just do this one task.”
Jaejoong’s lips quivered slightly, and Changmin watched with awe that Jaejoong’s presence was so intimidating he was able to force the truth out of anyone with little brute force. He stiffened when he saw Jaejoong glancing at him and then walking towards him. “Let’s go.”
The man leaned down, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Wait a moment,” Jaejoong motioned for Changmin to stop. He turned halfway around and fired a clean shot straight for the man’s heart, and then he continued walking out of the alley normally, without a care for the man who sat horror-struck against the wall with blood flowing out of his chest. “Let’s go.”
Changmin felt his legs quaked, his eyes held the same horror fascination from earlier. He started to walk towards the man but he stopped when he heard Jaejoong’s irritated voice calling for him. He stared at the man with a heavy heart before quickly rushing back to Jaejoong’s side.
As they settled back in their car, Changmin watched as Jaejoong spoke on the phone, most likely to Yoochun. He winced visibly when he heard Yoochun’s angry voice yelling on the other line.
“Yes, sir, he said he gave it to Yunho.”
Changmin raised a brow slightly, wondering who this “Yunho” was that had Yoochun agitated.
“Should we head there now?” Jaejoong bit his lower lips, listening carefully to Yoochun’s every word. “I understand. We’ll retrieve it as soon as possible.”
The call ended, and Jaejoong quickly returned his phone to his pants pocket. As he began to pull out of the spot he was parked in, he heard Changmin’s meek voice spoke up. “Who is this ‘Yunho’?”
“He’s a fucking bastard,” was the only answer Changmin received. He could sense there must have been some sort of unpleasant history among the trio that had both Jaejoong and Yoochun on edge by the mere mention of that name.
The drive was quiet and peaceful at first, until Changmin resumed his earlier onslaught of questions. “Why did you kill him?”
Jaejoong glanced at Changmin with a piercing look. Changmin sunk into his seat, his nerves were on edge again. “I mean, you know, so I can know what to do in the future when a situation like that comes up again.”
Jaejoong did not buy a single word of that excuse, but he found himself explaining to Changmin anyway. “That is to prevent him from tipping off anyone else he might be associated with.”
“But what if he had more information you could use?”
“He won’t. He’s nothing but a greedy little messenger boy, and that very greed was his downfall. Learn from that if you want to avoid his fate.”
Changmin mouthed another meek “oh” before figuring that he should just stay quiet until they reach their destination. The rest of the car ride resumed its earlier quietude, and Changmin found the steady ride and cool breeze was lulling him to sleep. He really did try to keep his eyes opened, but the perpetual, even motion overpowered his will. Before long, he found himself drifting off into sleep, and the faint knowledge that Jaejoong would berate him later was no longer a concern for the young man.
Jaejoong eyed the other man from the corner of his eyes, his lips curved up a little into an amused smirk. “How do you fall asleep like that?”
“Where is it?” Jaejoong barged into the room, ignoring the men that were trying to restrain him. He approached a desk, watching with disgust as the person sitting in front of it turned his chair around to face Jaejoong, his face lighting up happily when he saw Jaejoong’s face.
“Jaejoong! It’s been far too long, how are you?”
“I asked you a question, Jung, where is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Yunho! ” Jaejoong reached across the desk and grabbed onto the front of Yunho’s shirt. He growled lowly when Yunho continued to smile sweetly at him.
“Who’s the kid?” Yunho turned his smile to Changmin, who shifted nervously from his position at the door. He then beckoned for the younger man to come closer, to which Changmin did so uncertainly.
“That’s none of your fucking business, now answer my question.”
Yunho put on a thoughtful expression, and then the smiling visage returned. “Are you jealous, Jaejoong?”
Jaejoong promptly struck Yunho. He watched as Yunho reached shakily for his bloodied nose. The growl from earlier returned when Yunho started laughing merrily. “You’re still the only one I love, Jaejoong. Come now, why are you still working for Yoochun and doing his dirty business?”
“For the last time, Jung, answer my question!”
“Or what?” Yunho smiled, turning his gaze over to Changmin. “He’s a prissy little fellow, isn’t he?”
Changmin wasn’t sure what he should do, he had never seen Jaejoong lose control like that. Everyone else he had killed or attacked, he did so in a chilling, calm manner like it was just a normal thing one would do as a daily routine, but right at this moment Changmin could sense Jaejoong’s burning desire to kill this blithe man.
“He’s just a little sore about the time I almost raped him.”
Changmin was shocked by the blunt explanation. Who was this man? How could he be so calm when Jaejoong, the Jaejoong was so close to blowing his brain out? Changmin looked at Jaejoong quickly, and he was so positive he could see Jaejoong’s murderous aura flaring wildly around him.
“And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for Yoochun,” he added, a hint of disappointment was in his tone. He then added as an afterthought, “And if Jaejoong didn’t beat the fuck out of me and nearly castrate me with his daggers. Seriously, you should stop carrying such sharp objects around like that. It’s very dangerous.”
“Enough. Where the fuck did you put that flash drive?”
“Why didn’t you say so? It’s right here.” Yunho gestured to the pocket inside his suit jacket. Jaejoong released his hold on Yunho and waited for him to get out the small object. Immediately, Jaejoong reached for the flash drive but Yunho had already moved back.
He shook a finger at Jaejoong disapprovingly. “What will you offer me for it?”
“Your life spared, you fucking prick,” Jaejoong answered, swiping the flash drive from Yunho. He examined the device for a moment before turning his gaze over to Yunho, his voice was a dangerous hiss. “You didn’t do anything to it, did you?”
Yunho pouted. “You’re always mean and untrusting towards me, Jaejoong, even though all I ever did was showered you with my undying love.” He turned to Changmin again, his pout still on his face. “He’s a mean old jerk isn’t he?”
Out of nowhere, Jaejoong pulled out the aforementioned dagger and positioned it deadly close to Yunho’s neck. The apex of the weapon touched his skin faintly, and he gulped worriedly when he felt the sharpness of the tip. “Fine, fine, just go! I didn’t even want the flash drive. I just needed an excuse to see your lovely face without Yoochun jumping down my throat.”
Jaejoong scoffed, already walking away from this infuriating man. He grabbed Changmin’s arm and yanked him out of the room.
“I love you, Jaejoong!”
“Go fuck yourself.”
Changmin glanced back and could see Yunho sighing heavily and sulking in his seat, and finally looking up and waving goodbye happily to Changmin.
He had no idea what had just happened.
As Jaejoong drove back to their base, Changmin continued to glance at Jaejoong nervously. He had even more questions to ask, but he didn’t want to be the one to finally make Jaejoong snap after the whole Yunho ordeal. He looked out his window, trying to find something to occupy his mind until they arrived at the base.
“Alright, go ahead and ask me, kid.”
Changmin looked at Jaejoong curiously. “You sure?”
“One question, so make it good.”
Changmin bit his lower lip. “How did you come to know him?”
“He was an old business associate until he started getting wise ideas.”
“…Do you really carry around daggers like that?” Changmin was quiet before adding, “I know you said one question, but back there, with the dagger, and…”
“You must always be prepared. Because of their bulky size, guns are easy to find, so I always keep a couple daggers handy for emergency situations.”
Changmin nodded understandably. He leaned back in his seat, his head turned sideways to watch the moving scenery. It was already dusk, and the day was almost over. His first day working for Yoochun was almost over. He furrowed his brow at the last thought. Yes, he wanted an escape from the mundane rich lifestyle, but he had never expected he would walk over to the criminal side.
He looked at Jaejoong from the corner of his eyes.
Would I become like him?
The thought sent a shiver down his spine. He just couldn’t see himself as a ruthless murderer like Jaejoong was, but then again, there must have been a point in Jaejoong’s life when he was just a regular person, right?
Even though he had asked so many questions today and even though he had seen the many different sides of Jaejoong since their meeting, there were still so many things he did not know about this man. What he did learn, was it simply just a shallow step into the pond? How deep must he swim before learning the truth about Kim Jaejoong?
And then there was Yoochun, the man who was always smiling sinisterly and keeping Jaejoong on a short leash. What led them to become the men they were today? One man was always smiling while the other one did not even seem to know the meaning of a smile. Master and servant, that was the role they played, and it seemed to have worked out well enough for them.
But with a new player entering their game, would it cause an unbalance?
How can I escape all of this?
They arrived at the base around seven, and Jaejoong had allowed Changmin to retire for the day. Changmin slowly entered his room, his mind was distracted by the incidents earlier, as well as his conflicting desire to escape.
He was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling vacantly before he heard a knock at the door. He sat up, his face was puzzled for a moment before answering, “Come in.”
To his surprise, it was Jaejoong. Even more surprising, Jaejoong was carrying a tray with food on it. Jaejoong walked over and placed the tray on the nightstand. “Eat up, you need to build up your strength, you skinny little rich boy.”
Changmin stared at the food questioningly. “Did you poison it?”
“There are better ways to kill a person.”
Changmin didn’t know whether or not that should have comforted him. He ate cautiously, his gaze occasionally turned to Jaejoong who was watching him eat with little interest. When he finally finished his meal, he turned around and was surprised to see Jaejoong sitting on his bed with his back pressed against the wall, his eyes closed, and his breathing soft and steady.
“Jaejoong?” Changmin walked over to Jaejoong, his hand was waving in front of Jaejoong’s face rapidly, but he received no response.
This was it.
He could escape now.
But as he turned towards the door, he felt Jaejoong grabbed his wrist. Changmin stiffened instantly, turning around uncertainly to meet Jaejoong’s calm stare. “I wasn’t leaving.” His voice was so meek, he knew Jaejoong could see through to his lie, and he feared for his safety in that moment.
“Stay here.” Jaejoong pulled Changmin over to where he was sitting. “I told you I don’t sleep as deeply as you do.”
Changmin nodded, wondering what Jaejoong would do to him now. He was shocked when Jaejoong leaned over, burying his face in the crook of Changmin’s neck. His breathing was calm again, and it felt so warm against his skin. “Jaejoong?”
Changmin listened to the familiar silence that seemed to always follow this man. He looked down to see Jaejoong’s mindless stare. He reached out shakily to touch Jaejoong’s dark hair, and was surprised when he didn’t receive a backlash. He let his fingers continued to weave through the silky locks mesmerizingly. He was so caught up in this he almost didn’t hear Jaejoong speak.
“What is the meaning of ‘happiness’?”
Changmin blinked, his eyes were wide as he pondered over Jaejoong's peculiar question. “Well, happiness is…” His voice trailed off as he tried to figure out how to word his answer appropriately. “Happiness is sacrificing your own happiness so that the person you care for most is happy.”
Jaejoong stayed quiet, apparently trying to absorb in Changmin’s explanation. When he finally registered the words, he asked sadly, “Then why am I so miserable?”
Changmin looked at Jaejoong’s downcast face. He didn’t know how to respond, especially when he had already reached the conclusion that Jaejoong was devoid of all feelings. However, right now, in this very room, at this very moment, Changmin could see a helpless child who was unable to love or even comprehend it because he was more than likely deprived of it. He only knew what he was told to do, and nothing else.
Changmin wrapped an arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders, pulling the other man closer to him. He watched as Jaejoong drowsily closed his eyes. At that moment, Changmin wished he knew what to do. He was torn between making his escape and staying by Jaejoong’s side. For a killer, Jaejoong looked very angelic as he slept. Beautifully soft ebony hair contrasted his pale skin perfectly, adding further to his lethal beauty, and Changmin found it beckoning him to come closer.
He stopped suddenly when he realized what he was doing. Returning to his earlier position, Changmin buried his reddened face in his hands. He lowered his shields a little, enough so that his eyes could glance at Jaejoong’s sleeping form. He quickly covered his face again, groaning softly to himself, “What are you doing to me now, Jaejoong?”
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