(Another Day) At the Office
Fandom: SS501
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor
Pairing: HyunJoong/Jungmin
Word Count: 738
Summary: HyunJoong is the worst career adviser ever.
Prompt: 05. Proud to be a Problem
Author's Note: Sometimes I sit around and think of a random absurd dialogue. And lo and behold. HyunJoong is also not a very reliable couple therapist. I seem to think HyunJoong would be a complete troll with any career choices he make.
It was tough out there, in this world where day after day he have been hearing news about unemployment rate going up again, countless workers have been laid off, and companies were declaring bankruptcy.
Jungmin really needed a job soon. He could only hope this employment agency would be able to help him find a decent occupation soon.
“Park Jungmin?”
He stood from his seat in the waiting room, raising his hand in response. “That’s me, I’m Park Jungmin!”
The woman who called his name glanced briefly at the clipboard she was holding. Then she beckoned him closer. “Come this way, sir, we’re ready for you next.”
The woman led him to a room where there was a man seated behind a desk, eyes focused on his computer. Once notified, the man looked up and smiled. He welcomed Jungmin closer. “Hello, Mr. Park, I am Kim HyunJoong, and it looks like I’ll be helping you find a new job today?”
The woman who helped guided Jungmin to the room smiled briefly before closing the door.
Jungmin walked closer, sitting down in the chair opposite from HyunJoong. “Um, yeah. I’m not really sure what I should do here-”
“Don’t worry, I’m just going to ask you a few questions and we’ll find a job suitable for you.”
Jungmin smiled, already feeling like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders.
“Now, how do you feel about helping a farm animal give birth?”
Jungmin felt a rock sinking in his stomach.
“Do you like working with a lot of people?”
“Well, I don’t mind it-”
“Would you be willing to work long hours?”
“Um, sure, if the pay’s good-”
“How are you with high-stress situations?”
“Um, okay, I guess, but I’d prefer-”
“Are you comfortable with nudity?”
“Wait, what?”
“Would you be willing to carry out a strip search, cavity included?”
“N-NO!”
Jungmin fidgety looked around the room, searching for the clock or an escape. Maybe even something to put an end to his suffering. His adviser paid no attention to his uncomfortable twitching, choosing instead to look at something on his computer monitor.
“Ice fishing good, yes?”
Jungmin glared, on the verge of grabbing the paperweight on HyunJoong’s desk and clobbering him to death.
However he decided against it.
First degree murder would not look good on his resume.
“Stop me when you hear something you like. Road kill cleanup, gigolo, mortician, exotic dancer, space cowboy, fan dancer, gigolo, mime-”
“Did you just say ‘gigolo’ twice?”
“Is that something you’re interested in?”
“…No.”
“Alright. Brothel owner?”
Jungmin shook his head disapprovingly.
“Have you considered a career as a male stripper?” HyunJoong asked, eyebrow seemingly wagging in suggestion. “I hear the money’s good.”
Jungmin looked past HyunJoong, staring lethargically at the large window behind the man. He wondered briefly if a jump from this high would kill him immediately and put him out of his misery.
“How would you like to be an escort for filthy rich, widowed cougars?”
Jungmin briefly pulled his chair back, seriously considering the jump before remembering that the movie he wanted to see was airing next week.
No, he thought, my life is still too precious.
“Pornography cameraman!”
Maybe he should just push HyunJoong out of the window instead. He probably won’t die. Probably.
“Do you like performing in front of people?”
Jungmin perked up, finally hearing a question that he could answer in confidence without the urge to strangle his adviser. “Yes, I do like to perform. It’s something I’ve always been inter-”
“Got it. There’s this bachelorette party that needs a stripper to pop out of a cake. I’ll set it up.”
“W-WAIT A MINUTE.”
“Well, Mr. Park, you’re a tough person to help.” HyunJoong shifted his papers before writing down a note for himself.
Jungmin stared back incredulously.
“The only job I have left is cake decorator.”
“I’ll take it.”
“Hm?”
“I’ll take it,” Jungmin responded quickly again.
HyunJoong smiled, extending a hand for Jungmin to shake. “Well, I’m glad we’ve finally found something you like, sir.”
Jungmin smiled too, taking the hand and shaking it vigorously, and responding through half-clenched teeth. “I’m glad too.”
HyunJoong helped guide Jungmin out of his office, still making friendly small talk with the younger man. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy decorating erotic cakes at this bakery. It’s their specialty, you know.”
“Yeah, I’m sure-wait, what?”
The door slammed shut.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor
Pairing: HyunJoong/Jungmin
Word Count: 738
Summary: HyunJoong is the worst career adviser ever.
Prompt: 05. Proud to be a Problem
Author's Note: Sometimes I sit around and think of a random absurd dialogue. And lo and behold. HyunJoong is also not a very reliable couple therapist. I seem to think HyunJoong would be a complete troll with any career choices he make.
It was tough out there, in this world where day after day he have been hearing news about unemployment rate going up again, countless workers have been laid off, and companies were declaring bankruptcy.
Jungmin really needed a job soon. He could only hope this employment agency would be able to help him find a decent occupation soon.
“Park Jungmin?”
He stood from his seat in the waiting room, raising his hand in response. “That’s me, I’m Park Jungmin!”
The woman who called his name glanced briefly at the clipboard she was holding. Then she beckoned him closer. “Come this way, sir, we’re ready for you next.”
The woman led him to a room where there was a man seated behind a desk, eyes focused on his computer. Once notified, the man looked up and smiled. He welcomed Jungmin closer. “Hello, Mr. Park, I am Kim HyunJoong, and it looks like I’ll be helping you find a new job today?”
The woman who helped guided Jungmin to the room smiled briefly before closing the door.
Jungmin walked closer, sitting down in the chair opposite from HyunJoong. “Um, yeah. I’m not really sure what I should do here-”
“Don’t worry, I’m just going to ask you a few questions and we’ll find a job suitable for you.”
Jungmin smiled, already feeling like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders.
“Now, how do you feel about helping a farm animal give birth?”
Jungmin felt a rock sinking in his stomach.
“Do you like working with a lot of people?”
“Well, I don’t mind it-”
“Would you be willing to work long hours?”
“Um, sure, if the pay’s good-”
“How are you with high-stress situations?”
“Um, okay, I guess, but I’d prefer-”
“Are you comfortable with nudity?”
“Wait, what?”
“Would you be willing to carry out a strip search, cavity included?”
“N-NO!”
Jungmin fidgety looked around the room, searching for the clock or an escape. Maybe even something to put an end to his suffering. His adviser paid no attention to his uncomfortable twitching, choosing instead to look at something on his computer monitor.
“Ice fishing good, yes?”
Jungmin glared, on the verge of grabbing the paperweight on HyunJoong’s desk and clobbering him to death.
However he decided against it.
First degree murder would not look good on his resume.
“Stop me when you hear something you like. Road kill cleanup, gigolo, mortician, exotic dancer, space cowboy, fan dancer, gigolo, mime-”
“Did you just say ‘gigolo’ twice?”
“Is that something you’re interested in?”
“…No.”
“Alright. Brothel owner?”
Jungmin shook his head disapprovingly.
“Have you considered a career as a male stripper?” HyunJoong asked, eyebrow seemingly wagging in suggestion. “I hear the money’s good.”
Jungmin looked past HyunJoong, staring lethargically at the large window behind the man. He wondered briefly if a jump from this high would kill him immediately and put him out of his misery.
“How would you like to be an escort for filthy rich, widowed cougars?”
Jungmin briefly pulled his chair back, seriously considering the jump before remembering that the movie he wanted to see was airing next week.
No, he thought, my life is still too precious.
“Pornography cameraman!”
Maybe he should just push HyunJoong out of the window instead. He probably won’t die. Probably.
“Do you like performing in front of people?”
Jungmin perked up, finally hearing a question that he could answer in confidence without the urge to strangle his adviser. “Yes, I do like to perform. It’s something I’ve always been inter-”
“Got it. There’s this bachelorette party that needs a stripper to pop out of a cake. I’ll set it up.”
“W-WAIT A MINUTE.”
“Well, Mr. Park, you’re a tough person to help.” HyunJoong shifted his papers before writing down a note for himself.
Jungmin stared back incredulously.
“The only job I have left is cake decorator.”
“I’ll take it.”
“Hm?”
“I’ll take it,” Jungmin responded quickly again.
HyunJoong smiled, extending a hand for Jungmin to shake. “Well, I’m glad we’ve finally found something you like, sir.”
Jungmin smiled too, taking the hand and shaking it vigorously, and responding through half-clenched teeth. “I’m glad too.”
HyunJoong helped guide Jungmin out of his office, still making friendly small talk with the younger man. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy decorating erotic cakes at this bakery. It’s their specialty, you know.”
“Yeah, I’m sure-wait, what?”
The door slammed shut.