Part the Second!

Oct 26, 2011 13:42

Title: The Difference Between (someone with a good thing going, and someone who stalks the good guys at night.)
Fandom: Idk. Let's call it Marvel
Pairing: Deadpool/Spider-Man
Rating: Still PG.
Notes: Ever had one of those awkward moments where you're buying something embarrassing at the supermarket..?

Peter stood in line at the large supermarket, twiddling his thumbs and fidgeting as he slowly shuffled forward. He was determined to look everywhere but where the cashier was currently handing back change to a nice-looking old lady. After she wandered off, the teenage girl started on his basket of items, pushing them through with the same nonchalant look that these sorts of people always had.
Until she got to the bright pink nail polish. And the box of sanitary pads. And the lip gloss.
She stared, eyebrow raised, at the handful of items. Then her brain supplied a reason, and she smiled as she bagged the items “Shopping for your girlfriend?”
Peter had no choice but to agree “Yeah, she’s…sick.”
It was half true. The shopping was for someone sick, after all.
The rest of the checkout took place without any mishap, and Peter turned and walked, perhaps just a little faster than normal, back towards the parking lot.

“Hey, you made it! I was wondering whether you’d chicken out halfway through, well done.”
Wade sat up, fumbling for the remote a while before shutting the TV off and turning his full attention to Peter, who strode through the door and slammed it shut. After locking it, he dumped the groceries on the floor and folded his arms.
“There, there’s your stupid wishlist. Now can you go home?”
He’d been here three days, doing nothing but eating snacks and watching horrible daytime TV. But still the mercenary showed an uncanny interest in Peter, refusing to leave. And there was little he could do, seeing as how he now knew his identity (something Peter would prefer everybody not knowing), and was determined to blackmail Peter as much as possible in order to get his own way.
“Aw, only three days and I’m being kicked out? Oh well, I’ve got places to be. The local radio station, maybe. I wonder who’ll pay the most to know…”
Peter took a step forward, huffed as he hastily replied “Alright, fine. Stay if you want, then.”
Wade grinned behind his mask, then slowly stood up, the indent from where he’d been sitting on the couch (presumably all day) remained as he wandered over, picking up one of the shopping bags and carrying it over to the coffee table. He then pulled the thin plastic hard, spilling the contents of the bag across the table. He studied them carefully, picking up a few of the items and laughing.
“I don’t believe it! You actually bought them! Did you get everything?”
“Everything on your stupid list. What choice do I have?”
Wade looked up from hastily unwrapping the lip gloss and smirked.
“Tell the world you’re Spider-Man?”
Peter simply scowled, turning sharply and taking the remainder of the groceries to the kitchen as Wade sifted through his own goods and continued to chatter.
“I mean hey, same schtick worked for Iron Man, and the guy doesn’t even have any powers. Besides being a stuck-up, rich brat, the smarmy sonova…”

He’d only just finished packing everything away when he heard a voice from the living room.
“Hey Spideeeey~! Wanna come over here a moment? Actually it wasn’t a request. But come anyway.”
Peter sighed, trudging across the kitchen and turning a corner to find all the items he’d bought for Wade meticulously spread out across the coffee table.
“Okay! Here’s the first request. You need to have a bit more fun in your life, Pete! So I bought a bunch of stuff so that we can pretend to be superheroes!”
Peter raised an eyebrow, folding his arms and leaning back against the wall.
“Ridiculous set of costume ideas aside, you do remember that I already am a superhero?”
“Yeah, I know. But you take it too seriously. I mean, think about it. You can shoot webs out of your arms, and can swing like some crazy Tarzan through the urban jungle! Can you imagine how many people would give their eye teeth just to be able to do that? Anyway, it’s high time you were a superhero; kiddie style. Honestly, I’m just trying to inject some fun back into this sad existence you call a life.”
Wade then shuffled around the table, sitting on the couch and gesturing to the strange items he’d laid out there. Peter scowled.
“Okay, so we play dress-up. But…why the lip gloss? And the…” Peter blushed as the words died in his mouth, and he stared at the floor.
The response from the mercenary was to pick up one of the pads, unwrapping it and grinning as he slapped it on his arm. Peter was baffled.
“Body armour!”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Gives you +2 Armour points. Seriously. Now, get over here.”
“Bu-“
“Oh, okay, you’re right. This has gone too far. Got a phone? I need to call a….cab.”
Peter’s eyes narrowed, and he took a tentative step towards Wade.
“Damn you.”

It had been Peter’s idea to grab out a few beers whilst Wade got to work painting his own nails, He figured that the drunker he was, the less of this he was going to remember. And indeed, a few drinks and half an hour of complaining later, Peter finally began to laugh as he applied lip gloss and watched Wade stick more pads to himself whilst babbling nonsense. He ran the brush over his lips once more, before pouting supermodel-style and bursting into laughter. Wade looked up at the sound, hastily dropping what he was doing and racing after Peter, reaching for the lip gloss. Eventually, a flying tackle caused Peter to relinquish his grip, and the pair of them rolled into the wall. Wade was up first, picking up the small plastic bottle. Instead of rolling his mask up, as he was wont to do in public, he simply grabbed the back of it, pulling the whole thing off. It went flying across the room, and Peter (who, by this point, was well and truly drunk) scrambled after it, grabbing it and wearing it like a hat. Then, tying a blanket around his neck, he decided to take off around the small apartment, skipping around it and pretending to fly. Wade laughed hysterically which, in the middle of applying lip gloss, caused the sticky substance to get smeared around his mouth. Then, pulling a few bodybuilder poses, he began running after Peter, and the two of them chased one another around the small room a while, before Peter finally ran out of breath and balance, tripping over a cushion and winding up sprawled across the sofa. Wade slowed down as well, simply falling backwards and bending his knees, dropping to the floor in front of Peter. And there, the two of them laughed at themselves, Peter rolling over and staring at the ceiling as he began to speak.
“Gosh, I haven’t had this much fun since….since…”
“Good, isn’t it? People think I’m nuts for believing stuff that’s not real, but when it means you get to pull crap like this, why not?”
Peter laughed, the effects of the alcohol still apparent as he slurred his response between bouts of giggling.
“Wade, you are crazy.”
“Says the one wearing lip gloss an-…” He looked over at the younger man, before squinting. “….s’that my mask?”
Peter laughed and jovially replied “Yup. Now I can be Deadpool, hahah!” With that, he pulled the thick fabric over his face, punching the air and laughing.
“So can I be Spider-Man, then?”
“No, you’re covered in pads. …Padman.” Peter giggled as he spoke, breaking out into laughter as he finished.
“Oh yeah, and since when do I wear a cape?!” Came the response, and Wade reached a hand over, pulling at the blanket Peter had wrapped around himself. When Peter gripped at it tightly, the other man grinned and leapt up, flopping down on top of Peter and yanking at it. The pair of them continued like this for a while, and for the first time in a long time, Peter found solace in the ridiculousness of their situation. Perhaps Wade was onto something after all, with the whole “having fun” schtick.
Of course, he chose to rethink this severely as he sat curled up in the bathroom the day after, his hangover making the world spin.

It was a couple more days before Deadpool came knocking at the door again (Of course, his version of knocking was to simply pick the lock and make himself cosy), much to Peter’s dismay. But on his word that he hadn’t let slip the other man’s identity, there was little Peter could do to stop him. He was really beginning to get tired of this blackmail thing.
Wade sat at the TV a few hours, before groaning, reaching for the remote and shutting it off. Then he looked toward Peter, who was busy sitting at the table, typing something out.
“…Whatcha doing?”
Peter’s reply was bitter, shot back from the figure crouched over the small laptop.
“I’m doing work, Wade. I wouldn’t expect you to understand, there’s no guns or explosions involved.”
“Well, that’s hardly fun then, is it?”
“…While you’re off looking up the meaning of “Mercenary”, get “Work” covered off as well, would you? It’s not supposed to be fun.”
Wade pouted, staring at the blank TV a while, before looking back toward Peter.
“Come here.”
“For god’s sake, Wade…”
“Unless you want me singing your praises from the rooftops, you’ll get your butt over here tootsweet!” Came the reply, the mercenary grinning and gesturing from where he sat on the couch.
Peter grumbled, but shut the laptop and slowly rose, moving over to the couch and stopping a few feet from it, arms folded as his toe tapped against the wooden floor.
“Well? What do you want?”
“Hey, I already said “Everything”, right? So this time…How’s about you learn to relax, huh?”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
Wade lifted a hand to his chin, the fabric of his mask stretching and warping as he tilted his head in thought. After a few moments, he lowered the hand, smirking behind the fabric in a way that sent an unfamiliar shiver curling down Peter’s back.
“How’s about a lap dance?”
“…Excuse me?”
Peter’s expression was instantly horrified as the colour drained from his face. Wade leant back into the couch, shrugging.
“Or a strip tease. Whatever goes, Pete.”
“…You’re kidding.”
“Oh yeah, totally. Now, about that newspaper…”
“I hate you.”
Peter grumbled, swearing and pulling at his top, lifting it a few inches before Wade’s hand was up again.
“Wait, wait. This totally isn’t okay without the right outfit. I’ve got just the thing, but it’ll have to wait. You’re off the hook for now.”
Peter looked visibly relieved, hanging his arms in front of him as his top fell back into place.
“So…so I don’t have to?”
“I never said that. Now, a soda! Away!” Wade shouted triumphantly, pointing toward the kitchen.
Peter stomped off in the direction he was pointing, coming back a few moments later with a can of drink. He held it out to the mercenary, scowling. “Here. Now will you let me work?”
Wade stuck his hand out, gripping both the can and Peter’s hand, and pulling both of them closer together as he smirked. “Thanks, honey.” Came the jovial response.
Peter pulled away sharply, cursing and turning towards the door. As he opened it, he shouted back towards the living room “No peeing in the pot plants again!”
The response back only infuriated Peter further.
“Okay, darling~”

fic, deadpool, spider-man

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