There With You: Part 13
Title: There With You - PART THIRTEEN
Pairing: AJ/Soohyun
Rating: Alas, we are back to PG-13
Summary: AJ and Soohyun slowly make their way out of the dorm.
~*~*~*~*~
PART THIRTEEN
~*~*~*~*~
AJ woke to the sound of the phone ringing. He groaned softly. Hadn’t he specifically turned his cell phone so this wouldn’t happen? Wait, he was sure he had turned his phone off, last night, and he hadn’t turned it on since. So how…?
The phone rang again and he opened his eyes. The noise was coming from his desk, he realized, from the landline phone that was in every dorm room. That explained it. As for who was calling… he was pretty sure he knew the explanation for that too.
The phone rang for a third time and he groaned and heaved himself out from under the warm covers-not to mention away from the warm presence of Soohyun-and out of the bed. Soohyun mumbled incoherently, shifting around but not opening his eyes. AJ made it to the desk by the fourth ring and picked it up, muttering, “Hello?” If this was anyone other than Ronan he was going to kill them. Actually, even if it was Ronan he might still kill him.
“Woot! Contact has been made!” Ronan shouted in response.
AJ moved the phone away from his ear, wincing. His friend was far too loud for… okay, admittedly it was early evening and he had no right to complain. Speaking in loud voices might be normal for people who paid attention to the time of day. And did things outside of their bedrooms.
“Yes, Ronan, I’m here,” AJ replied in a monotone voice.
“Oh ho ho, why so grumpy? Did I wake you up, little sleepyhead? Your phone was still off, but I figured you must still be in the room, eh eh? Oh, I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”
AJ’s lips curved up slightly. Ronan’s last sentence had sounded sincerely apologetic. “No, we were just… napping,” he answered.
“Napping, uh huh.”
Ronan had returned immediately to his teasing tone. AJ had to roll his eyes. “Hurry up and tell me what you want, Ronan,” he said. “Before my balls shrivel up,” he added in lower voice, shivering. It was cold in the room. It was an old building, and it seemed the ancient radiator system hadn’t been on that day for a while. Actually, he would’ve known if it had come on. It would’ve announced itself with its usual clanks and clangs, reverberating through the walls like someone below was pounding on a giant bicycle. That definitely would’ve woken them up, even from their contented slumber.
Unfortunately Ronan heard his off-hand comment. He laughed. “Ah yeah, ‘cause you’re still not wearing clothes? Of course you’re not.”
“Ronan…” AJ groaned. He glanced over at the bed and saw Soohyun’s head peaking out at him. He gave him a smile. No need to explain himself. He was sure Soohyun knew exactly who was on the other end.
“Okay, so. I want to see Soohyun before he leaves. I need to see Soohyun before he leaves.” AJ sensed Ronan smirk in the pause between sentences. “With all his clothes on, that is.”
“Yeah, when I see you we’re having a talk about how uncomfortable you made him feel,” AJ said.
Ronan just laughed again. “What, did I trigger your protective side? Don’t worry, I’m 99% sure I only like women.”
“Only… 99%?”
“And I just couldn’t help myself, since he was wearing…” Ronan burst into a fit of laughter.
“Yes, Ronan, I know,” AJ said. He made himself say it: “My underwear.” He felt himself blush. Why his body insisted on being embarrassed about such things around Ronan, he didn’t know. Ronan had no shame about anything, obviously. He shook his head at himself. “Aish.”
“But yes, I want to see him.”
“Uh huh…”
“And you.”
“Okay…”
“And I thought you two could come over, to my apartment.”
“Uh huh…”
“And eat food…”
“Yeah, okay.” AJ liked that idea. His small breakfast already felt like a long time ago. And he didn’t think it had provided quite enough energy for all the activity he’d done that day. Again he looked back at Soohyun, grinning when he saw Soohyun had buried himself back under the blankets, giving up on following the conversation.
“And hang out with some people other than each other. Like me, and Becca, and… the rest of the gang…”
“Ronan!” AJ cried. “Is this going where I think it’s-”
Ronan cut him off. “No no! It’ll be chill this time! No alcohol! I swear! And I won’t force Soohyun to sing like last time. Unless he wants to. Come on, I said Becca was coming, so you know it will be safe.”
“Okay, I trust you,” AJ replied. “For whatever strange reason…” he mumbled, mostly to himself. “That sounds good,” he continued, louder. “But it can’t go on too late, because Soohyun’s flight is fairly early tomorrow.”
He’d said the words before he felt them. All the practical considerations were clear in his mind, but releasing those words from his tongue made him think, really think about Soohyun leaving him, tomorrow, a tomorrow that would come far too soon. He felt like he was being split in two. He glanced back at the bed, but Soohyun was still huddled beneath the covers. He’d been so worried that Soohyun wouldn’t be able to survive without him. But maybe he would be the one who wouldn’t make it.
“I know,” Ronan said. “I’m going with you.”
“You… are?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Oh. Okay,” AJ said hesitantly, a little confused. “I guess that’s okay.”
“It will be. Because it’s happening.”
“Uh…”
“And don’t worry about tonight, AJ, really, I’ll make sure Soohyun’s taken care of,” Ronan went on. “I’ll prepare the cushiest chair in the whole apartment for his sore little-”
“Yeah, okay, thanks Ronan,” AJ said to cut him off. “When is this happening?”
“Like… as soon as you get here.” Ronan cackled. “If you’re able to control yourselves for that long. Don’t get arrested for public indecency on the way here, ‘kay?”
“We’ll get there as soon as we can,” AJ replied, ignoring Ronan’s commentary, as usual. “And… Ronan,” he added. “Please don’t… tell anybody.”
“Tell anybody what?” Ronan asked innocently. “Oh, you mean that you spent all day-”
“Ronan…” AJ warned.
But it was too late; Ronan was on a roll and nothing could stop him. He continued in his most theatrical tone, “Making sweet, sweet love to your boyfriend, spending your whole last day together in each other’s arms! Before you are pulled away by fate, cruel fate, and oceans rise up between you! But never fear, my friend, before long you shall be reunited with your one true love! And until then, I, your loyal servant and part-time matchmaker, will be at your side! But, for now, the night is still young and yours to fill with merry-making!”
There was a long pause, in which AJ glared at Ronan through the phone, imagining Ronan on the other end looking very pleased with himself. “You done?” AJ grunted.
Ronan wasn’t. “And maybe more love-making,” he said, returning to his normal voice. “Though not at my apartment. Please. Not even in the bathroom, and especially not-”
“Ronan!” AJ cried. “Okay, good, got it! Jeez.” He shook his head again. “Please stop now. And please don’t switch to theater major.”
“I don’t know, I am a man of many talents-”
AJ broke in firmly, “Ronan, I’m hanging up the phone now. We’ll be over there when we can, okay?”
“Righto! See you soon, lovebirds!”
AJ hung up the phone, sighing. Then he darted back under the covers, making Soohyun yelp when his cold skin made contact against his warm body. “Sorry babe,” he murmured.
Soohyun grumbled unhappily as AJ pulled him closer, then hissed when AJ’s icy feet pressed against his shins. In an attempt to retain what body heat he had left, he shoved futilely against AJ’s chest. “Too cold!” he groaned, already feeling goosebumps rising along his skin.
AJ merely laughed, clenching his arms and tugging Soohyun closer, burying his face in the side of Soohyun’s neck. “Exactly, that’s why you need to help warm me up,” he said, fully aware of how upset Soohyun probably was with him. After all, Soohyun had a special kind for hatred for all things cold.
“Warm yourself up,” Soohyun mumbled. Then he yawned, cuddling closer to AJ’s chest despite his words and stretching out beneath the covers, back arching and pressing their stomachs together. His face contorted into a grimace at the sticky feeling and he peered beneath the covers, immediately looking up at AJ with a frown. “Actually, let’s go shower. We’re disgusting.”
AJ brushed his hand through Soohyun’s hair then pressed a small kiss to his forehead. “We’ll need to shower anyway. That was Ronan on the phone and he wants us to come over.”
“To go over?” Soohyun made a face then slid resolutely back under the covers, pressing his face into AJ’s chest and tugging the blankets tight. He mumbled into AJ’s skin. “Can’t we just stay here?”
Looking down at the mound of blankets tucked up against him, AJ laid his hand over where he assumed Soohyun’s head to be, his eyebrows pulled together. “You don’t want to go?” In all honesty he had expected Soohyun to be excited at the invitation, nothing like this. He pried gently at the blankets, ducking his head to see into the dark space, gaze meeting only the top of Soohyun’s head. He’d take that as a no. He pushed his fingers through Soohyun’s hair, massaging the other boy’s scalp and scratching softly at the spot just behind his ear. “Will you tell me the reason why?” He felt a hot breath blow across his skin as Soohyun sighed, but no explanation seemed to be forthcoming.
AJ let out a sigh of his own. “Soohyun…” he started. Shifting himself further down the mattress, he pulled the covers down over his head as well, joining Soohyun in his dark cocoon. He reached out and pulled Soohyun closer, wrapping his arms around Soohyun’s waist and pressing their foreheads together. He felt the shiver that ran up Soohyun’s spine and had to bite back a soft groan when Soohyun pressed himself closer, bodies touching in all of the right places. But that’s not what he should be thinking about, he should be trying to figure out Soohyun’s sudden reluctance to go out. And he could only think of one reason: the party. It really had been a stupid idea to take him there, and now he was paying for it.
Sensing the tension in AJ’s body, Soohyun slid his hands slowly onto AJ’s stomach, working his way towards AJ’s back with small scratches of his nails. He could tell AJ was feeling guilty, and that was something he didn’t want. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Mhmm, sure.” Knowing there was something more, AJ squeezed Soohyun tighter and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “You’d really rather sleep than go see Ronan? I thought you liked him?”
Soohyun pouted a bit. AJ was making this too difficult for him! “I like you more.”
“Well I’d go too so that’s not a valid argument.” He smirked and pressed another kiss to Soohyun’s cheek. “Try again.”
AJ really was making this difficult for him. He blew out a breath and buried his face into AJ’s shoulder, muffling his voice as he garbled his words together, “Idon’tlikedrunkpeopleandvideogamesandthere’llbetoomuchenglishthatIwon’tunderstand.”
Trying hard to make out what Soohyun was saying, AJ’s brows pulled together, head tilting closer to the sound of Soohyun’s voice. He rubbed small circles into Soohyun’s back as he finished, humming softly before kissing a line up the side of Soohyun’s face. “Ronan promised that there’d be no alcohol and that he wouldn’t make you sing. I’m sure he won’t make you play any other games either if you don’t want to. As for the English, well, I’ll help you as much as I can, okay?” He squeezed Soohyun closer. “I promise I won’t leave your side the entire night,” he murmured, nuzzling against Soohyun’s ear. “You’ll never be alone. I’ll even hold your hand the whole time if you want me to. I’ll carry you. You can sit on my lap…” His voice trailed off his lips met Soohyun’s earlobe, tugging on it gently before sucking it into his mouth.
Soohyun gasped, fingers tensing against AJ’s back as his mind swam. He punched weakly against AJ’s chest. “Yah! If you really want me to go then don’t start that!”
AJ just chuckled, smoothing his hands down Soohyun’s back before curving them around the swell of his ass. “Start what?” he asked innocently. “I’m not starting anything.” His tongue traced teasingly across the edge of Soohyun’s ear.
“Yah!” Soohyun shouted, shoving harshly against AJ’s chest and making the other boy fall onto the floor. He stuck his tongue out at AJ’s shocked expression then burrowed back underneath the covers. “Go cool off in the shower, you horny bastard, I’ll be there after you’ve started thinking with the right head again.”
AJ gaped at the lump of blankets on the bed, unable to believe what had just happened. A barely audible mumble met his ears, Soohyun’s voice coming from beneath the covers. Help warm you up, my ass. Like a bunny in heat.
AJ scratched the back of his head as he stood, a slow smile spreading over his face. “So, that’s a yes? You’ll go to Ronan’s party?”
A pillow suddenly flew out at his face and he barely caught it in time. He laughed lightly and jumped onto the bed, pressing his mouth against the blankets as he dropped his voice to a whisper. “And it’s a nice ass, by the way.” He scrambled out of the way just before a fist shot out of the covers, laughing hysterically and having to dodge more pillows and projectiles as he gathered a towel and some clothes, unable to stop the smile threatening to split his face as he ran out the door, shutting just before a pillow could slam into the back of his head. Soohyun was definitely feeling better, and AJ couldn’t be any happier.
Back in the room, Soohyun poked his head out from beneath the covers, making sure AJ was really gone before sitting up and swinging his legs out of bed. He took a deep breath, clenching his jaw and holding on to the side of the bed before he stood, adjusting to the slight burn in his lower back as he shifted from side to side. AJ was definitely a lot stronger than Soohyun had ever given him credit for… among other things… Bending down delicately, he grabbed a towel from one of AJ’s drawers and slung it across his hips, tying it at the side so that he could wander around the room, sliding his hands over anything within reach, just soaking it in. Because today was his last day here.
His last days within this room, where so much had happened. He walked back towards the bed, staring at the spot just beside it where he had finally fallen apart, and where AJ had put him back together, kissed him on the forehead and promised to be there for him. His head turned and he slowly made his way towards the door, to where he and AJ had shared their first kiss, he pressed his hand to the wall, the same place where he had been trapped by AJ’s warm chest and strong arms. And just a few feet away, the spot where AJ had told him he loved him. He could still see his hat lying on the floor, forgotten in their passion. Then his eyes lighted on the bed and a soft heat grew in the pit of his stomach, making his heart flutter even more. He trailed his fingers across the messy covers, the place where AJ had claimed him, the place where they had finally come together and found each other while lost in each other’s bodies. So many memories in this tiny room... Now he would have to keep them in his heart.
But, maybe not completely, this was the twenty-first century after all. Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he hit the camera icon, turning slowly as he took pictures from every angle, capturing each corner and space of AJ’s room, so that he would always remember. Then he sighed, locking the screen of his phone before setting it back in its place. He wasn’t ready to leave just yet. He loved AJ, but he wanted some time to think, some time to prepare himself for everything that was to come. And while he was here, he could do what he could to fix up the disaster zone that AJ’s room had become. Opening the windows just a crack to let some fresh air in, he put his hands on his hips, shaking his head as he grabbed AJ’s hamper. He mumbled to himself as he began pulling the soiled sheets from the bed, “Kim Jaeseop I am not your mother, so don’t get used to this.”
~*~
Inside the shower stall, AJ lingered by the door, deliberating over whether or not to lock it behind him. Was Soohyun going to chase after him quickly or was he going to take his time? When he didn’t show up immediately, AJ went ahead and locked it. He’d hear Soohyun knocking in any case. Assuming Soohyun wanted to join him at all.
AJ sighed, pulling off the towel he’d draped around his waist. He couldn’t blame Soohyun for wanting to be alone. The past few days had definitely been a little much, with their rollercoaster highs and lows. They hadn’t left any time to let things sink in. He wasn’t sure if any of it had sunk in yet, even for him. He felt both more sure and yet less sure about Soohyun’s emotions than ever before. Soohyun was still sensitive about certain things, but AJ didn’t doubt-and would never doubt-the way Soohyun felt about him. The way he loved him.
AJ finally made himself turn on the water and stepped into the shower, hissing a little as it hit the scratches on his back. He ignored it, gritting his teeth and soaping himself up. Soohyun had marked him in his own way, and AJ had definitely marked him in his. That made him smile a little. But the scrapes still hurt. Coming together definitely wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Not that his discomfort was anything compared to the pain Soohyun would be feeling right now, in a far less convenient place. AJ sighed again. Why did it have to be like that? Why couldn’t things just be good, and stay good? Even for a few hours?
He set down the soap before straightening up and pressing his forehead against the tile, closing his eyes. He knew this mood had nothing to do with Soohyun, and yet everything to do with Soohyun. Because tomorrow… by this time… Soohyun would already be gone. That fact was sinking into him now, finally, and not just sliding off him like the water. Sinking in and stabbing him deep. Of course, you idiot, he told himself, Like that’s anything new. That’s what a visit is. It’s temporary. But their relationship wouldn’t be temporary. That would last forever, like AJ had promised and like Soohyun wanted. Right?
He could already think of so many things that could go wrong: another list. It’d been so wonderful being with Soohyun here. They had days and nights to themselves and a whole room where no one could disturb them. They could kiss in clubs and then make love and shower together, and no one would care. They were so free here. But they couldn’t be in Korea. There… everything would be different. Their relationship would have to be hidden and secretive and repressed almost all the time. It would be so difficult. It would be nearly impossible. They’d make it work, of course, but it would never have the space to truly be itself. What they’d had here… it really was over.
AJ wrapped his arms around himself, the way Soohyun always had before, though he wasn’t cold. Soohyun, hurry up, he called in his head. Maybe you need a little time apart from me, but… I need you now.
And then, as if Soohyun had somehow read his mind, there was a knock on the door and a familiar voice calling out to him, “Jaeseop?”
Soohyun heard water splashing in the shower and then footsteps against wet tile. The lock clicked and suddenly the door was swinging open, AJ’s arm shooting out and pulling him inside, slamming the door shut before locking it again. Their chests bumped together harshly, making Soohyun gasp as strong arms wrapped around him. He tentatively lifted his own arms to loop around AJ’s shoulders, letting AJ hold him as water cascaded down his back. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke, “Jaeseop, are you okay?”
It was a silly question, really, meant more to get AJ to tell him what was wrong whether than if something was wrong. Because it was quite obvious that AJ was upset judging solely by the way he was clinging to Soohyun so desperately, not to mention the silence. And, if he had to guess, he was pretty sure he knew the reason. But he wanted to hear AJ say it, just to be sure, and so that they could work it out.
AJ took a deep breath. He knew what he should do. He should put a smile on and release Soohyun, saying, No, everything’s fine. I just wanted you near me. Now let’s get this shower done with and get going, huh? He could say all that, do all the motions right, and maybe even convince himself. And put off feeling this way for longer. And avoid making Soohyun upset-which was the real reason to hold it in. But… that would be unfair. Soohyun told him everything now; AJ wouldn’t let him do otherwise. He couldn’t start hiding things from him, not even to save him pain. But he couldn’t break down, not now, not with Soohyun depending on him, not when Soohyun needed him to hold him up. He grasped Soohyun even tighter, a shiver moving through his body, partially from the sudden cold after leaving the shower, and partially… because his resolve was crumbling anyway, no matter what he thought about it.
He took another breath. He just had to believe he had made Soohyun strong enough to hold him in return. “I. Don’t. Want you to go,” he forced out, the syllables gusting by Soohyun’s ear, as wispy as a whine. Then he buried his face in Soohyun’s shoulder to stop the flow of his tears, so they wouldn’t hurt Soohyun also.
Soohyun froze, body clenching up as his mind registered the wetness forming against his skin, and it wasn’t from the shower. It was from AJ. AJ was… he was crying. Lifting one arm, he tentatively combed his fingers into AJ’s hair, holding him closer to his shoulder as his other arm wrapped around AJ’s waist. He rocked them gently back and forth, shifting his weight from one foot to the other while he tried to think through what to say. He had been so caught up with leaving, about having to go back to Korea and leave AJ behind, that he really hadn’t spent much time considering what AJ was going to go through. He had always assumed that the other boy would be fine. After all, he had seemed fine when Soohyun first arrived, with his studies and his friends and his new way of life. But obviously that wasn’t the case anymore.
Pressing his lips to the side of AJ’s head, Soohyun started to hum low in the back of his throat, adjusting the pitch and volume until he was satisfied. Then, finally, he took a breath and began singing softly into AJ’s ear, each note filled with as much reassurance and love as he could muster. “아무것도 나 볼 수가 없고 들을 수도 없어…” He wanted AJ to trust him, to trust in their love and their commitment to each other. What they were facing wasn’t easy, in fact, it was rather frightening, but Soohyun knew they could overcome it so long as they were together. With AJ, he could do anything. He just had to get AJ to believe the same.
The song came to an end, final note ringing against the tiles before fading away. Soohyun had sang with all of his heart, changing the song into a ballad and replacing some of the lines, holding onto each word until he was sure that AJ had heard it, and knew the conviction behind it. Sometime while he was singing, AJ’s shoulders had begun to shake, and Soohyun had tightened his hold, offering even more of his warmth to AJ as he continued to sing. And now that the song was finally over, he felt the tears that had begun to gather in his own eyes slowly spill over, dripping down his cheeks before disappearing. But he didn’t make a sound. Because he had to, wanted to, be strong for AJ.
“Jaeseop,” he murmured, taking care to keep the sadness out of his voice. “Jaeseop, I’ll always be here. I’ll never leave you, not for anything, not for anyone. Just because we won’t be as close for awhile doesn’t mean we’ll be apart, and eventually that space will be closed again.”
AJ raised his head. Seeing the drying salt lines on Soohyun’s face, he traced them tenderly with his finger. “Thank you, Soohyun,” he said softly. “Thank you.” Soohyun was strong now, strong enough to hold them both. Strong enough to do anything, and stand on his own until AJ returned. So AJ could believe he could be strong enough too. His lips formed a slight smile. Soohyun was whole now. And so was he. Everything would change around them, spiral into the tornado-blur of their hectic lives, but this, their love, was the still point at the center.
He leaned in and kissed Soohyun gently, slowly. This would never change. This would be the one constant thing, his gravity, his core, his soul. His heart. His Soohyun.
Holding AJ’s face with his hands, Soohyun leaned into the kiss, tilting AJ’s head so that their mouths could slide more fully together. Their breath mingled between them in gentle pants, drowned out by the sound of water hitting the tiles. Soohyun pressed a final kiss to AJ’s lips before leaning back and pressing his mouth to AJ’s forehead, then to each one of his reddened eyes. He brushed his fingers through AJ’s hair and smiled, eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. “I’ll sing to you any time you want. So you can call me whenever. But, if it’s late, don’t expect my voice to be very soothing.” He laughed lightly and shook his head, remembering all of the late night phone calls, when neither of them had any idea of what was happening.
Then, after hanging up his towel, he hooked one of his hands behind AJ’s neck and pulled their mouths back together once more, lips brushing as he walked them back beneath the spray. He closed his eyes as water cascaded down their faces but didn’t let them separate, not until they both pulled back with a smile.
Soohyun ran his hands down AJ’s arms and grabbed his hands, hooking their fingers loosely before tilting his head back and sighing at the ceiling. “Ronan’s going to kill us, but maybe I can distract him with more of my hickeys.” He shot AJ a crooked smile. “What do you think?”
“What?” AJ exclaimed. He clasped Soohyun against him. “No,” he said. “He doesn’t get to see any more of those.” Slightly softer, he added, “He doesn’t get to see any more of you.”
Soohyun couldn’t help the laughter that began to spill from his lips, doubling over slightly in AJ’s arms. Pulling back and wiping tears from his eyes-this time for an entirely different reason-he shook his head and pinched AJ’s cheek. “Is somebody jealous? Huh?”
“No,” AJ answered, looking away. “I just don’t…” He trailed off. Then his eyes fiercely met Soohyun’s as he seized both sides of Soohyun’s face. “You’re mine, okay?” he said. Feeling himself blush at his irrational outburst, he quickly bent down to retrieve the soap. “Now let’s actually work on getting clean,” he muttered.
Soohyun could feel the warmth flooding his cheeks at AJ’s words, heat traveling to a different part of his body as well. AJ wanted him, wanted to possess him and protect him and keep him by his side. Soohyun’s heart clenched as he stepped up to where AJ was beginning to stand, beating frantically in his chest as he grabbed AJ’s wrist and spun him around, and was ready to burst when he crushed their lips together and shoved AJ against the wall. He opened AJ’s mouth with his tongue and slid a thigh between his legs, trapping him against the wall as he claimed him thoroughly with his lips. He circled AJ’s other wrist with his fingers then brought his mouth down to AJ’s neck, sucking another dark bruise there as AJ groaned into the misty air. Satisfied with his work, he pulled back and caught AJ’s eyes with his own, trapping his gaze as he spoke, voice pitched lower than usual. “And you’re mine, Jaeseop.” He backed away slightly, letting AJ steady himself before he threaded their fingers together and brought them close again, chests bumping slightly. “We belong to each other, and that’s how it’ll always be.” Then he smirked, taking the soap from AJ’s limp hand and stepping back, beginning the task of cleaning himself as he hummed just barely above his breath.
AJ stared at him, trying to breathe. Soohyun was just so surprising, and sexy, and amazing, in every way. One minute he was sweetly comforting him with a song and then the next he was sweetly torturing him against the wall. Making AJ want to push his sleek body against the tile, feel that wet, slick skin against him everywhere, and then… But he couldn’t do that now; they’d already done that too much, and Ronan was waiting on them and he did want Soohyun to see him before he left and they did need to eat, but Soohyun was just so fucking hot, he just wanted… wanted so much… to touch him… to hold him… to be one with him… to make him his… but… but… and… and… And what were thoughts anyway? All he managed to do was stand there motionless, watching Soohyun wash himself.
Rubbing the soap along his arms, Soohyun glanced over at AJ, having to bite back a laugh at the look on AJ’s face. It was painfully obvious what he was thinking. Quickly finishing cleaning himself, Soohyun headed over to AJ, drawing him away from the wall with a smirk and a lifted eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure Ronan will kill us if we’re any later. And I wouldn’t put it past him to come looking for us either. So stop looking at me like you want to eat me and wash up.” Then he paused, glancing up and down AJ’s body and noticing an absence of filmy residue. “Unless… You probably finished while you were waiting for me didn’t you?” Seeing AJ nod, eyes still roaming over his body with a look that was anything but innocent, Soohyun could only shake his head.
“Yah!” he yelled, flicking some water into AJ’s face. “Stop drooling everywhere or I’m going to have to smack you.” He reached over and shut off the water before turning back to AJ, sighing when he realized AJ had taken the opportunity to check out his backside. He stepped dangerously close to AJ’s chest and trailed a finger up his stomach, stopping at his sternum. “You, are being very naughty right now. Maybe I should call Ronan and have him take care of you. My poor ass needs a break you know, no matter how much you like it.”
“Mmm,” AJ mumbled, forcing himself back into coherency, mostly. He reached around Soohyun, cupping the aforementioned ass gently. “As if you didn't like it at all…” he muttered. Then he let Soohyun go and went to fetch his towel. Soohyun was right. He’d have to switch those thoughts off… for now. He gazed back at Soohyun over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “You have Ronan on call now? As your personal bodyguard?”
Grabbing his own towel and hooking it around his waist, Soohyun leaned casually against the doorframe, fingers playing with the lock. “Maybe not officially, but you know he’d come running. At least for me he would.” And with a final smirk Soohyun slid out the door, slamming it behind him and shooting down the hallway towards their room. He could hear AJ shouting behind him and slowed to a jog, then to a walk, before stopping in front of their door. It really was way too much fun to mess with the other boy. But he behaved himself and waited until AJ had caught up, smiling sweetly at AJ’s glare, pecking him on the lips before he could say anything. Because in the end, he didn’t really want AJ to be upset with him and he figured he had already punished himself enough, if the throbbing below his waist was anything to go by.
Soohyun was really asking for it, awakening the beast in him again, and AJ couldn’t help but listen to it. He rammed Soohyun into the door, making the other boy grunt as his back thudded into the wood and AJ covered him completely with his body. “Soohyun,” he murmured lowly, mouth against his ear. “I don’t think you want to make me more jealous than you already have.” Then he smiled and kissed Soohyun lightly on the forehead, his fingers curling around the doorknob and twisting it open. He stepped away from Soohyun and into the room, opening his mouth to say something else, though he wasn’t sure what. Then he saw the state of the room-or rather, how it was no longer in the state it had been. “Soohyun!” he cried. “You didn’t have to do that!” He gazed around at the floor free of shed clothing and the new sheets put on the neatly made bed, finding his words even more true. By cleaning up, it was as if Soohyun had erased his presence from the room. So AJ couldn't help but look a little sad as he turned around to face him.
Soohyun smiled victoriously at AJ’s admission of jealousy, following him into the room and watching as his eyes raked over the newly cleaned area. Seeing AJ’s pitiful expression, Soohyun could only roll his eyes, taking a step forward to pat him on the shoulder as he smirked. “I figured you wouldn’t want the room looking or smelling the way it did for when your friends came over, especially Ronan. Because you know he’ll be over, and you know he would say something. Besides, I want to sleep in a clean bed tonight and not have to worry about picking things up in the morning.”
AJ grumbled incoherently to himself, but he knew Soohyun was right. It had been pretty bad, and sleeping in clean sheets would be nice... and would also help him remember that he really did need to keep his hands off of Soohyun. But he sighed despondently anyway. It seemed Soohyun was already planning for the morning-he guessed that was inevitable. Perking up, he asked, “Well, where’d you put that leather jacket?” He went to look for it in the closet. “’Cause you’re wearing that.”
Flopping back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, Soohyun lazily pointed towards the side of the room, where his bag was pushed up against the wall. “I packed it, it should be on top.” He craned his neck as he heard AJ pass and watched the muscles in his back move as he crouched over Soohyun’s bag and began to pull at the zipper. “What do you want me to wear it for though? I doubt it’ll be cold in Ronan’s apartment.”
Soohyun… had packed already. While AJ had been alone in the shower, mourning the loss of their romping freedom, Soohyun had been getting ready to go. AJ took a moment to steady himself, clenching his fists until his knuckles showed, before turning around and smiling. “You’re wearing it,” he insisted a second time, striding over and smacking it down on Soohyun’s bare chest. Soohyun’s bare chest, and his bare back, and his bare everything underneath the… “Hey, don’t lie with the wet towel on the bed,” AJ scolded. He yanked it off of Soohyun before the other boy could protest. Now Soohyun really was naked, stretched across the bed, on top of the clean sheets… And why should they stay clean, really; it would be a crime to just leave them that way…
Before he realized what he was doing, AJ found himself on top of Soohyun. Oops. Soohyun’s teasing had been accurate, except he had underestimated him. AJ was hornier than a rabbit. But it was just so hard when Soohyun was so… Gah. Embarrassed, AJ started to slide off of him, muttering, “We should hurry and get ready.”
But Soohyun wasn’t ready to let go. He grabbed onto AJ’s waist and held him in place, sliding the jacket from between their chests as he leaned up, capturing AJ’s mouth with his own before bringing them both back down onto the covers. He traced over AJ’s lips with his tongue and wasted no time in tilting up his jaw, deepening the kiss as soon as AJ’s mouth parted. He groaned lowly in the back of his throat and hooked his fingers behind AJ’s ears, pulling him as close as possible before letting go. “Goddamnit,” he swore, releasing his head back into the mattress. “We’re never going to get out of here at this rate.”
“Mmm,” AJ managed to mumble. This time was also definitely his fault. How did people in love ever do anything? Like, normal things, outside of their rooms? And why would they want to? No, he knew the reason why. He did want to see Ronan. So he would control himself. But only for Ronan. “I’m getting off you now, for real,” he said, settling one leg on the ground, then the other. But he couldn’t help himself from gazing down at Soohyun anyway. That wouldn’t hurt, right? “You know…” he began, running a hand down Soohyun’s side. “Tonight I’ll leave… certain parts of you alone. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do… other things.” He sidled over to the dresser, opening one of the drawers and pretending to act nonchalant. “Sooo… we should hurry and go. So we can come back.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Soohyun propped himself up on his elbows and watched as AJ began rummaging through his clothing, apparently looking for something. “Oh really?” he said. “Care to elaborate?”
AJ pulled out a shirt without looking at it, and then opened a different drawer to find a pair of jeans. Without looking back at Soohyun, he said, “You know… kissing stuff… touching stuff…stuff with tongues… and panting and moaning and holding you down on the bed…” He finally turned around, wearing a blank expression and executing a perfectly noncommittal shrug. “Whatever you want.”
Soohyun’s eyebrow lifted even higher as he stood up, pushing himself away from the bed and walking up to AJ, standing toe to toe, smirking when he saw AJ’s eyes flicker downwards before flashing back up to his face. “Whatever I want?” he asked. He hummed thoughtfully in the back of his throat for a moment before slowly stepping to the side, circling AJ’s body so he could get into the dresser himself. He tugged out a pair of boxers, AJ’s boxers, and carefully pulled them on before turning back to AJ, matching his earlier blasé expression perfectly. “What if I said I wanted you to rip these boxers of yours off of me as soon as we were through that door? And what if I wanted to hold you down and make you scream my name?” He let his face change into an expression of perfect, innocent curiosity. “What would you do then?” He pressed his lips to AJ’s ear and ran a hand down his still bare chest. “Hmm, Jaeseop?”
AJ shivered; he couldn’t help it. Though he did manage to keep himself from seizing Soohyun around the waist and covering his mouth with his and bending him back over the dresser, or forcing him against the wall, or pushing him down onto the floor-any surface, really-or picking him up and carrying him to the bed… AJ took a deep breath, clearing his throat. “Yeah, that sounds alright,” he answered, eyes flicking away from the other boy-why was the sight of Soohyun in his clothes so inexplicably hot? “Now excuse me, I need to put on some boxers of my own,” he said, gently pushing Soohyun away from the appropriate drawer.
Soohyun smiled, quite pleased with himself, and let AJ pass, turning away to begin putting on his own clothes which he had left lying beside his bag. Although, he should probably switch shirts, now that AJ wanted him to wear his jacket. Grabbing his bag and pulling it closer, he began rummaging around for a particular top he had in mind. He let out a tiny sound of excitement when he finally found it, buried at the bottom, and quickly pulled it out, unfolding it with one hand while shutting the bag with the other. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back laughter, eyes roaming over the gray lettering on the otherwise all black t-shirt. TROUBLEMAKER. Yeah, that was him, he would admit it. Especially since he was going over to Ronan’s, and already had a few plans in mind on how he was going to utilize his new found friendship. Slipping it over his head, he allowed a small to tug at his lips, hidden away as he began to pull on his jeans. Jumping back on the bed, he tugged on his socks while he waited for AJ to finish, bouncing slightly on the bed as AJ began to pull on socks of his own.
Now fully clothed, AJ straightened up, saying, “Okay, are you-” Then he stopped dead, seeing Soohyun’s shirt. He cocked an eyebrow. “Really?” He pushed the white leather jacket still lying on the bed towards him. “Well, at least it’s helping you learn English,” he muttered. “Now, put that on and let’s go,” he said, at a normal volume.
Soohyun stood up, grabbing the jacket and holding it out to AJ’s chest, staring at him expectantly. “If you want me to wear it so bad, you can do the honor of putting it on me.” He smirked, and lowered his voice as AJ’s fingers curled around the fabric. “And taking it off.” Then he abruptly looked away, holding his head high and sticking out his arms, closing his eyes tight as he waited, trying so hard not to laugh.
AJ skeptically regarded Soohyun’s clenched eyes and the look of amusement his face was failing to hide. He bit his lip. The other boy was really driving him crazy. He was going to get it later-well, not get it; he did want Soohyun to be able to sit on the plane. But he was getting something. He slipped the jacket over one of Soohyun’s arms, draping it across his back and pushing his other arm in. “It will be my pleasure,” he said. He bent down and kissed Soohyun on the nose. “Now, let’s finally go see that crazy friend of mine, huh?”
Pairing: AJ/Soohyun
Rating: Alas, we are back to PG-13
Summary: AJ and Soohyun slowly make their way out of the dorm.
~*~*~*~*~
PART THIRTEEN
~*~*~*~*~
AJ woke to the sound of the phone ringing. He groaned softly. Hadn’t he specifically turned his cell phone so this wouldn’t happen? Wait, he was sure he had turned his phone off, last night, and he hadn’t turned it on since. So how…?
The phone rang again and he opened his eyes. The noise was coming from his desk, he realized, from the landline phone that was in every dorm room. That explained it. As for who was calling… he was pretty sure he knew the explanation for that too.
The phone rang for a third time and he groaned and heaved himself out from under the warm covers-not to mention away from the warm presence of Soohyun-and out of the bed. Soohyun mumbled incoherently, shifting around but not opening his eyes. AJ made it to the desk by the fourth ring and picked it up, muttering, “Hello?” If this was anyone other than Ronan he was going to kill them. Actually, even if it was Ronan he might still kill him.
“Woot! Contact has been made!” Ronan shouted in response.
AJ moved the phone away from his ear, wincing. His friend was far too loud for… okay, admittedly it was early evening and he had no right to complain. Speaking in loud voices might be normal for people who paid attention to the time of day. And did things outside of their bedrooms.
“Yes, Ronan, I’m here,” AJ replied in a monotone voice.
“Oh ho ho, why so grumpy? Did I wake you up, little sleepyhead? Your phone was still off, but I figured you must still be in the room, eh eh? Oh, I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”
AJ’s lips curved up slightly. Ronan’s last sentence had sounded sincerely apologetic. “No, we were just… napping,” he answered.
“Napping, uh huh.”
Ronan had returned immediately to his teasing tone. AJ had to roll his eyes. “Hurry up and tell me what you want, Ronan,” he said. “Before my balls shrivel up,” he added in lower voice, shivering. It was cold in the room. It was an old building, and it seemed the ancient radiator system hadn’t been on that day for a while. Actually, he would’ve known if it had come on. It would’ve announced itself with its usual clanks and clangs, reverberating through the walls like someone below was pounding on a giant bicycle. That definitely would’ve woken them up, even from their contented slumber.
Unfortunately Ronan heard his off-hand comment. He laughed. “Ah yeah, ‘cause you’re still not wearing clothes? Of course you’re not.”
“Ronan…” AJ groaned. He glanced over at the bed and saw Soohyun’s head peaking out at him. He gave him a smile. No need to explain himself. He was sure Soohyun knew exactly who was on the other end.
“Okay, so. I want to see Soohyun before he leaves. I need to see Soohyun before he leaves.” AJ sensed Ronan smirk in the pause between sentences. “With all his clothes on, that is.”
“Yeah, when I see you we’re having a talk about how uncomfortable you made him feel,” AJ said.
Ronan just laughed again. “What, did I trigger your protective side? Don’t worry, I’m 99% sure I only like women.”
“Only… 99%?”
“And I just couldn’t help myself, since he was wearing…” Ronan burst into a fit of laughter.
“Yes, Ronan, I know,” AJ said. He made himself say it: “My underwear.” He felt himself blush. Why his body insisted on being embarrassed about such things around Ronan, he didn’t know. Ronan had no shame about anything, obviously. He shook his head at himself. “Aish.”
“But yes, I want to see him.”
“Uh huh…”
“And you.”
“Okay…”
“And I thought you two could come over, to my apartment.”
“Uh huh…”
“And eat food…”
“Yeah, okay.” AJ liked that idea. His small breakfast already felt like a long time ago. And he didn’t think it had provided quite enough energy for all the activity he’d done that day. Again he looked back at Soohyun, grinning when he saw Soohyun had buried himself back under the blankets, giving up on following the conversation.
“And hang out with some people other than each other. Like me, and Becca, and… the rest of the gang…”
“Ronan!” AJ cried. “Is this going where I think it’s-”
Ronan cut him off. “No no! It’ll be chill this time! No alcohol! I swear! And I won’t force Soohyun to sing like last time. Unless he wants to. Come on, I said Becca was coming, so you know it will be safe.”
“Okay, I trust you,” AJ replied. “For whatever strange reason…” he mumbled, mostly to himself. “That sounds good,” he continued, louder. “But it can’t go on too late, because Soohyun’s flight is fairly early tomorrow.”
He’d said the words before he felt them. All the practical considerations were clear in his mind, but releasing those words from his tongue made him think, really think about Soohyun leaving him, tomorrow, a tomorrow that would come far too soon. He felt like he was being split in two. He glanced back at the bed, but Soohyun was still huddled beneath the covers. He’d been so worried that Soohyun wouldn’t be able to survive without him. But maybe he would be the one who wouldn’t make it.
“I know,” Ronan said. “I’m going with you.”
“You… are?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Oh. Okay,” AJ said hesitantly, a little confused. “I guess that’s okay.”
“It will be. Because it’s happening.”
“Uh…”
“And don’t worry about tonight, AJ, really, I’ll make sure Soohyun’s taken care of,” Ronan went on. “I’ll prepare the cushiest chair in the whole apartment for his sore little-”
“Yeah, okay, thanks Ronan,” AJ said to cut him off. “When is this happening?”
“Like… as soon as you get here.” Ronan cackled. “If you’re able to control yourselves for that long. Don’t get arrested for public indecency on the way here, ‘kay?”
“We’ll get there as soon as we can,” AJ replied, ignoring Ronan’s commentary, as usual. “And… Ronan,” he added. “Please don’t… tell anybody.”
“Tell anybody what?” Ronan asked innocently. “Oh, you mean that you spent all day-”
“Ronan…” AJ warned.
But it was too late; Ronan was on a roll and nothing could stop him. He continued in his most theatrical tone, “Making sweet, sweet love to your boyfriend, spending your whole last day together in each other’s arms! Before you are pulled away by fate, cruel fate, and oceans rise up between you! But never fear, my friend, before long you shall be reunited with your one true love! And until then, I, your loyal servant and part-time matchmaker, will be at your side! But, for now, the night is still young and yours to fill with merry-making!”
There was a long pause, in which AJ glared at Ronan through the phone, imagining Ronan on the other end looking very pleased with himself. “You done?” AJ grunted.
Ronan wasn’t. “And maybe more love-making,” he said, returning to his normal voice. “Though not at my apartment. Please. Not even in the bathroom, and especially not-”
“Ronan!” AJ cried. “Okay, good, got it! Jeez.” He shook his head again. “Please stop now. And please don’t switch to theater major.”
“I don’t know, I am a man of many talents-”
AJ broke in firmly, “Ronan, I’m hanging up the phone now. We’ll be over there when we can, okay?”
“Righto! See you soon, lovebirds!”
AJ hung up the phone, sighing. Then he darted back under the covers, making Soohyun yelp when his cold skin made contact against his warm body. “Sorry babe,” he murmured.
Soohyun grumbled unhappily as AJ pulled him closer, then hissed when AJ’s icy feet pressed against his shins. In an attempt to retain what body heat he had left, he shoved futilely against AJ’s chest. “Too cold!” he groaned, already feeling goosebumps rising along his skin.
AJ merely laughed, clenching his arms and tugging Soohyun closer, burying his face in the side of Soohyun’s neck. “Exactly, that’s why you need to help warm me up,” he said, fully aware of how upset Soohyun probably was with him. After all, Soohyun had a special kind for hatred for all things cold.
“Warm yourself up,” Soohyun mumbled. Then he yawned, cuddling closer to AJ’s chest despite his words and stretching out beneath the covers, back arching and pressing their stomachs together. His face contorted into a grimace at the sticky feeling and he peered beneath the covers, immediately looking up at AJ with a frown. “Actually, let’s go shower. We’re disgusting.”
AJ brushed his hand through Soohyun’s hair then pressed a small kiss to his forehead. “We’ll need to shower anyway. That was Ronan on the phone and he wants us to come over.”
“To go over?” Soohyun made a face then slid resolutely back under the covers, pressing his face into AJ’s chest and tugging the blankets tight. He mumbled into AJ’s skin. “Can’t we just stay here?”
Looking down at the mound of blankets tucked up against him, AJ laid his hand over where he assumed Soohyun’s head to be, his eyebrows pulled together. “You don’t want to go?” In all honesty he had expected Soohyun to be excited at the invitation, nothing like this. He pried gently at the blankets, ducking his head to see into the dark space, gaze meeting only the top of Soohyun’s head. He’d take that as a no. He pushed his fingers through Soohyun’s hair, massaging the other boy’s scalp and scratching softly at the spot just behind his ear. “Will you tell me the reason why?” He felt a hot breath blow across his skin as Soohyun sighed, but no explanation seemed to be forthcoming.
AJ let out a sigh of his own. “Soohyun…” he started. Shifting himself further down the mattress, he pulled the covers down over his head as well, joining Soohyun in his dark cocoon. He reached out and pulled Soohyun closer, wrapping his arms around Soohyun’s waist and pressing their foreheads together. He felt the shiver that ran up Soohyun’s spine and had to bite back a soft groan when Soohyun pressed himself closer, bodies touching in all of the right places. But that’s not what he should be thinking about, he should be trying to figure out Soohyun’s sudden reluctance to go out. And he could only think of one reason: the party. It really had been a stupid idea to take him there, and now he was paying for it.
Sensing the tension in AJ’s body, Soohyun slid his hands slowly onto AJ’s stomach, working his way towards AJ’s back with small scratches of his nails. He could tell AJ was feeling guilty, and that was something he didn’t want. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Mhmm, sure.” Knowing there was something more, AJ squeezed Soohyun tighter and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “You’d really rather sleep than go see Ronan? I thought you liked him?”
Soohyun pouted a bit. AJ was making this too difficult for him! “I like you more.”
“Well I’d go too so that’s not a valid argument.” He smirked and pressed another kiss to Soohyun’s cheek. “Try again.”
AJ really was making this difficult for him. He blew out a breath and buried his face into AJ’s shoulder, muffling his voice as he garbled his words together, “Idon’tlikedrunkpeopleandvideogamesandthere’llbetoomuchenglishthatIwon’tunderstand.”
Trying hard to make out what Soohyun was saying, AJ’s brows pulled together, head tilting closer to the sound of Soohyun’s voice. He rubbed small circles into Soohyun’s back as he finished, humming softly before kissing a line up the side of Soohyun’s face. “Ronan promised that there’d be no alcohol and that he wouldn’t make you sing. I’m sure he won’t make you play any other games either if you don’t want to. As for the English, well, I’ll help you as much as I can, okay?” He squeezed Soohyun closer. “I promise I won’t leave your side the entire night,” he murmured, nuzzling against Soohyun’s ear. “You’ll never be alone. I’ll even hold your hand the whole time if you want me to. I’ll carry you. You can sit on my lap…” His voice trailed off his lips met Soohyun’s earlobe, tugging on it gently before sucking it into his mouth.
Soohyun gasped, fingers tensing against AJ’s back as his mind swam. He punched weakly against AJ’s chest. “Yah! If you really want me to go then don’t start that!”
AJ just chuckled, smoothing his hands down Soohyun’s back before curving them around the swell of his ass. “Start what?” he asked innocently. “I’m not starting anything.” His tongue traced teasingly across the edge of Soohyun’s ear.
“Yah!” Soohyun shouted, shoving harshly against AJ’s chest and making the other boy fall onto the floor. He stuck his tongue out at AJ’s shocked expression then burrowed back underneath the covers. “Go cool off in the shower, you horny bastard, I’ll be there after you’ve started thinking with the right head again.”
AJ gaped at the lump of blankets on the bed, unable to believe what had just happened. A barely audible mumble met his ears, Soohyun’s voice coming from beneath the covers. Help warm you up, my ass. Like a bunny in heat.
AJ scratched the back of his head as he stood, a slow smile spreading over his face. “So, that’s a yes? You’ll go to Ronan’s party?”
A pillow suddenly flew out at his face and he barely caught it in time. He laughed lightly and jumped onto the bed, pressing his mouth against the blankets as he dropped his voice to a whisper. “And it’s a nice ass, by the way.” He scrambled out of the way just before a fist shot out of the covers, laughing hysterically and having to dodge more pillows and projectiles as he gathered a towel and some clothes, unable to stop the smile threatening to split his face as he ran out the door, shutting just before a pillow could slam into the back of his head. Soohyun was definitely feeling better, and AJ couldn’t be any happier.
Back in the room, Soohyun poked his head out from beneath the covers, making sure AJ was really gone before sitting up and swinging his legs out of bed. He took a deep breath, clenching his jaw and holding on to the side of the bed before he stood, adjusting to the slight burn in his lower back as he shifted from side to side. AJ was definitely a lot stronger than Soohyun had ever given him credit for… among other things… Bending down delicately, he grabbed a towel from one of AJ’s drawers and slung it across his hips, tying it at the side so that he could wander around the room, sliding his hands over anything within reach, just soaking it in. Because today was his last day here.
His last days within this room, where so much had happened. He walked back towards the bed, staring at the spot just beside it where he had finally fallen apart, and where AJ had put him back together, kissed him on the forehead and promised to be there for him. His head turned and he slowly made his way towards the door, to where he and AJ had shared their first kiss, he pressed his hand to the wall, the same place where he had been trapped by AJ’s warm chest and strong arms. And just a few feet away, the spot where AJ had told him he loved him. He could still see his hat lying on the floor, forgotten in their passion. Then his eyes lighted on the bed and a soft heat grew in the pit of his stomach, making his heart flutter even more. He trailed his fingers across the messy covers, the place where AJ had claimed him, the place where they had finally come together and found each other while lost in each other’s bodies. So many memories in this tiny room... Now he would have to keep them in his heart.
But, maybe not completely, this was the twenty-first century after all. Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he hit the camera icon, turning slowly as he took pictures from every angle, capturing each corner and space of AJ’s room, so that he would always remember. Then he sighed, locking the screen of his phone before setting it back in its place. He wasn’t ready to leave just yet. He loved AJ, but he wanted some time to think, some time to prepare himself for everything that was to come. And while he was here, he could do what he could to fix up the disaster zone that AJ’s room had become. Opening the windows just a crack to let some fresh air in, he put his hands on his hips, shaking his head as he grabbed AJ’s hamper. He mumbled to himself as he began pulling the soiled sheets from the bed, “Kim Jaeseop I am not your mother, so don’t get used to this.”
~*~
Inside the shower stall, AJ lingered by the door, deliberating over whether or not to lock it behind him. Was Soohyun going to chase after him quickly or was he going to take his time? When he didn’t show up immediately, AJ went ahead and locked it. He’d hear Soohyun knocking in any case. Assuming Soohyun wanted to join him at all.
AJ sighed, pulling off the towel he’d draped around his waist. He couldn’t blame Soohyun for wanting to be alone. The past few days had definitely been a little much, with their rollercoaster highs and lows. They hadn’t left any time to let things sink in. He wasn’t sure if any of it had sunk in yet, even for him. He felt both more sure and yet less sure about Soohyun’s emotions than ever before. Soohyun was still sensitive about certain things, but AJ didn’t doubt-and would never doubt-the way Soohyun felt about him. The way he loved him.
AJ finally made himself turn on the water and stepped into the shower, hissing a little as it hit the scratches on his back. He ignored it, gritting his teeth and soaping himself up. Soohyun had marked him in his own way, and AJ had definitely marked him in his. That made him smile a little. But the scrapes still hurt. Coming together definitely wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Not that his discomfort was anything compared to the pain Soohyun would be feeling right now, in a far less convenient place. AJ sighed again. Why did it have to be like that? Why couldn’t things just be good, and stay good? Even for a few hours?
He set down the soap before straightening up and pressing his forehead against the tile, closing his eyes. He knew this mood had nothing to do with Soohyun, and yet everything to do with Soohyun. Because tomorrow… by this time… Soohyun would already be gone. That fact was sinking into him now, finally, and not just sliding off him like the water. Sinking in and stabbing him deep. Of course, you idiot, he told himself, Like that’s anything new. That’s what a visit is. It’s temporary. But their relationship wouldn’t be temporary. That would last forever, like AJ had promised and like Soohyun wanted. Right?
He could already think of so many things that could go wrong: another list. It’d been so wonderful being with Soohyun here. They had days and nights to themselves and a whole room where no one could disturb them. They could kiss in clubs and then make love and shower together, and no one would care. They were so free here. But they couldn’t be in Korea. There… everything would be different. Their relationship would have to be hidden and secretive and repressed almost all the time. It would be so difficult. It would be nearly impossible. They’d make it work, of course, but it would never have the space to truly be itself. What they’d had here… it really was over.
AJ wrapped his arms around himself, the way Soohyun always had before, though he wasn’t cold. Soohyun, hurry up, he called in his head. Maybe you need a little time apart from me, but… I need you now.
And then, as if Soohyun had somehow read his mind, there was a knock on the door and a familiar voice calling out to him, “Jaeseop?”
Soohyun heard water splashing in the shower and then footsteps against wet tile. The lock clicked and suddenly the door was swinging open, AJ’s arm shooting out and pulling him inside, slamming the door shut before locking it again. Their chests bumped together harshly, making Soohyun gasp as strong arms wrapped around him. He tentatively lifted his own arms to loop around AJ’s shoulders, letting AJ hold him as water cascaded down his back. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke, “Jaeseop, are you okay?”
It was a silly question, really, meant more to get AJ to tell him what was wrong whether than if something was wrong. Because it was quite obvious that AJ was upset judging solely by the way he was clinging to Soohyun so desperately, not to mention the silence. And, if he had to guess, he was pretty sure he knew the reason. But he wanted to hear AJ say it, just to be sure, and so that they could work it out.
AJ took a deep breath. He knew what he should do. He should put a smile on and release Soohyun, saying, No, everything’s fine. I just wanted you near me. Now let’s get this shower done with and get going, huh? He could say all that, do all the motions right, and maybe even convince himself. And put off feeling this way for longer. And avoid making Soohyun upset-which was the real reason to hold it in. But… that would be unfair. Soohyun told him everything now; AJ wouldn’t let him do otherwise. He couldn’t start hiding things from him, not even to save him pain. But he couldn’t break down, not now, not with Soohyun depending on him, not when Soohyun needed him to hold him up. He grasped Soohyun even tighter, a shiver moving through his body, partially from the sudden cold after leaving the shower, and partially… because his resolve was crumbling anyway, no matter what he thought about it.
He took another breath. He just had to believe he had made Soohyun strong enough to hold him in return. “I. Don’t. Want you to go,” he forced out, the syllables gusting by Soohyun’s ear, as wispy as a whine. Then he buried his face in Soohyun’s shoulder to stop the flow of his tears, so they wouldn’t hurt Soohyun also.
Soohyun froze, body clenching up as his mind registered the wetness forming against his skin, and it wasn’t from the shower. It was from AJ. AJ was… he was crying. Lifting one arm, he tentatively combed his fingers into AJ’s hair, holding him closer to his shoulder as his other arm wrapped around AJ’s waist. He rocked them gently back and forth, shifting his weight from one foot to the other while he tried to think through what to say. He had been so caught up with leaving, about having to go back to Korea and leave AJ behind, that he really hadn’t spent much time considering what AJ was going to go through. He had always assumed that the other boy would be fine. After all, he had seemed fine when Soohyun first arrived, with his studies and his friends and his new way of life. But obviously that wasn’t the case anymore.
Pressing his lips to the side of AJ’s head, Soohyun started to hum low in the back of his throat, adjusting the pitch and volume until he was satisfied. Then, finally, he took a breath and began singing softly into AJ’s ear, each note filled with as much reassurance and love as he could muster. “아무것도 나 볼 수가 없고 들을 수도 없어…” He wanted AJ to trust him, to trust in their love and their commitment to each other. What they were facing wasn’t easy, in fact, it was rather frightening, but Soohyun knew they could overcome it so long as they were together. With AJ, he could do anything. He just had to get AJ to believe the same.
The song came to an end, final note ringing against the tiles before fading away. Soohyun had sang with all of his heart, changing the song into a ballad and replacing some of the lines, holding onto each word until he was sure that AJ had heard it, and knew the conviction behind it. Sometime while he was singing, AJ’s shoulders had begun to shake, and Soohyun had tightened his hold, offering even more of his warmth to AJ as he continued to sing. And now that the song was finally over, he felt the tears that had begun to gather in his own eyes slowly spill over, dripping down his cheeks before disappearing. But he didn’t make a sound. Because he had to, wanted to, be strong for AJ.
“Jaeseop,” he murmured, taking care to keep the sadness out of his voice. “Jaeseop, I’ll always be here. I’ll never leave you, not for anything, not for anyone. Just because we won’t be as close for awhile doesn’t mean we’ll be apart, and eventually that space will be closed again.”
AJ raised his head. Seeing the drying salt lines on Soohyun’s face, he traced them tenderly with his finger. “Thank you, Soohyun,” he said softly. “Thank you.” Soohyun was strong now, strong enough to hold them both. Strong enough to do anything, and stand on his own until AJ returned. So AJ could believe he could be strong enough too. His lips formed a slight smile. Soohyun was whole now. And so was he. Everything would change around them, spiral into the tornado-blur of their hectic lives, but this, their love, was the still point at the center.
He leaned in and kissed Soohyun gently, slowly. This would never change. This would be the one constant thing, his gravity, his core, his soul. His heart. His Soohyun.
Holding AJ’s face with his hands, Soohyun leaned into the kiss, tilting AJ’s head so that their mouths could slide more fully together. Their breath mingled between them in gentle pants, drowned out by the sound of water hitting the tiles. Soohyun pressed a final kiss to AJ’s lips before leaning back and pressing his mouth to AJ’s forehead, then to each one of his reddened eyes. He brushed his fingers through AJ’s hair and smiled, eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. “I’ll sing to you any time you want. So you can call me whenever. But, if it’s late, don’t expect my voice to be very soothing.” He laughed lightly and shook his head, remembering all of the late night phone calls, when neither of them had any idea of what was happening.
Then, after hanging up his towel, he hooked one of his hands behind AJ’s neck and pulled their mouths back together once more, lips brushing as he walked them back beneath the spray. He closed his eyes as water cascaded down their faces but didn’t let them separate, not until they both pulled back with a smile.
Soohyun ran his hands down AJ’s arms and grabbed his hands, hooking their fingers loosely before tilting his head back and sighing at the ceiling. “Ronan’s going to kill us, but maybe I can distract him with more of my hickeys.” He shot AJ a crooked smile. “What do you think?”
“What?” AJ exclaimed. He clasped Soohyun against him. “No,” he said. “He doesn’t get to see any more of those.” Slightly softer, he added, “He doesn’t get to see any more of you.”
Soohyun couldn’t help the laughter that began to spill from his lips, doubling over slightly in AJ’s arms. Pulling back and wiping tears from his eyes-this time for an entirely different reason-he shook his head and pinched AJ’s cheek. “Is somebody jealous? Huh?”
“No,” AJ answered, looking away. “I just don’t…” He trailed off. Then his eyes fiercely met Soohyun’s as he seized both sides of Soohyun’s face. “You’re mine, okay?” he said. Feeling himself blush at his irrational outburst, he quickly bent down to retrieve the soap. “Now let’s actually work on getting clean,” he muttered.
Soohyun could feel the warmth flooding his cheeks at AJ’s words, heat traveling to a different part of his body as well. AJ wanted him, wanted to possess him and protect him and keep him by his side. Soohyun’s heart clenched as he stepped up to where AJ was beginning to stand, beating frantically in his chest as he grabbed AJ’s wrist and spun him around, and was ready to burst when he crushed their lips together and shoved AJ against the wall. He opened AJ’s mouth with his tongue and slid a thigh between his legs, trapping him against the wall as he claimed him thoroughly with his lips. He circled AJ’s other wrist with his fingers then brought his mouth down to AJ’s neck, sucking another dark bruise there as AJ groaned into the misty air. Satisfied with his work, he pulled back and caught AJ’s eyes with his own, trapping his gaze as he spoke, voice pitched lower than usual. “And you’re mine, Jaeseop.” He backed away slightly, letting AJ steady himself before he threaded their fingers together and brought them close again, chests bumping slightly. “We belong to each other, and that’s how it’ll always be.” Then he smirked, taking the soap from AJ’s limp hand and stepping back, beginning the task of cleaning himself as he hummed just barely above his breath.
AJ stared at him, trying to breathe. Soohyun was just so surprising, and sexy, and amazing, in every way. One minute he was sweetly comforting him with a song and then the next he was sweetly torturing him against the wall. Making AJ want to push his sleek body against the tile, feel that wet, slick skin against him everywhere, and then… But he couldn’t do that now; they’d already done that too much, and Ronan was waiting on them and he did want Soohyun to see him before he left and they did need to eat, but Soohyun was just so fucking hot, he just wanted… wanted so much… to touch him… to hold him… to be one with him… to make him his… but… but… and… and… And what were thoughts anyway? All he managed to do was stand there motionless, watching Soohyun wash himself.
Rubbing the soap along his arms, Soohyun glanced over at AJ, having to bite back a laugh at the look on AJ’s face. It was painfully obvious what he was thinking. Quickly finishing cleaning himself, Soohyun headed over to AJ, drawing him away from the wall with a smirk and a lifted eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure Ronan will kill us if we’re any later. And I wouldn’t put it past him to come looking for us either. So stop looking at me like you want to eat me and wash up.” Then he paused, glancing up and down AJ’s body and noticing an absence of filmy residue. “Unless… You probably finished while you were waiting for me didn’t you?” Seeing AJ nod, eyes still roaming over his body with a look that was anything but innocent, Soohyun could only shake his head.
“Yah!” he yelled, flicking some water into AJ’s face. “Stop drooling everywhere or I’m going to have to smack you.” He reached over and shut off the water before turning back to AJ, sighing when he realized AJ had taken the opportunity to check out his backside. He stepped dangerously close to AJ’s chest and trailed a finger up his stomach, stopping at his sternum. “You, are being very naughty right now. Maybe I should call Ronan and have him take care of you. My poor ass needs a break you know, no matter how much you like it.”
“Mmm,” AJ mumbled, forcing himself back into coherency, mostly. He reached around Soohyun, cupping the aforementioned ass gently. “As if you didn't like it at all…” he muttered. Then he let Soohyun go and went to fetch his towel. Soohyun was right. He’d have to switch those thoughts off… for now. He gazed back at Soohyun over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “You have Ronan on call now? As your personal bodyguard?”
Grabbing his own towel and hooking it around his waist, Soohyun leaned casually against the doorframe, fingers playing with the lock. “Maybe not officially, but you know he’d come running. At least for me he would.” And with a final smirk Soohyun slid out the door, slamming it behind him and shooting down the hallway towards their room. He could hear AJ shouting behind him and slowed to a jog, then to a walk, before stopping in front of their door. It really was way too much fun to mess with the other boy. But he behaved himself and waited until AJ had caught up, smiling sweetly at AJ’s glare, pecking him on the lips before he could say anything. Because in the end, he didn’t really want AJ to be upset with him and he figured he had already punished himself enough, if the throbbing below his waist was anything to go by.
Soohyun was really asking for it, awakening the beast in him again, and AJ couldn’t help but listen to it. He rammed Soohyun into the door, making the other boy grunt as his back thudded into the wood and AJ covered him completely with his body. “Soohyun,” he murmured lowly, mouth against his ear. “I don’t think you want to make me more jealous than you already have.” Then he smiled and kissed Soohyun lightly on the forehead, his fingers curling around the doorknob and twisting it open. He stepped away from Soohyun and into the room, opening his mouth to say something else, though he wasn’t sure what. Then he saw the state of the room-or rather, how it was no longer in the state it had been. “Soohyun!” he cried. “You didn’t have to do that!” He gazed around at the floor free of shed clothing and the new sheets put on the neatly made bed, finding his words even more true. By cleaning up, it was as if Soohyun had erased his presence from the room. So AJ couldn't help but look a little sad as he turned around to face him.
Soohyun smiled victoriously at AJ’s admission of jealousy, following him into the room and watching as his eyes raked over the newly cleaned area. Seeing AJ’s pitiful expression, Soohyun could only roll his eyes, taking a step forward to pat him on the shoulder as he smirked. “I figured you wouldn’t want the room looking or smelling the way it did for when your friends came over, especially Ronan. Because you know he’ll be over, and you know he would say something. Besides, I want to sleep in a clean bed tonight and not have to worry about picking things up in the morning.”
AJ grumbled incoherently to himself, but he knew Soohyun was right. It had been pretty bad, and sleeping in clean sheets would be nice... and would also help him remember that he really did need to keep his hands off of Soohyun. But he sighed despondently anyway. It seemed Soohyun was already planning for the morning-he guessed that was inevitable. Perking up, he asked, “Well, where’d you put that leather jacket?” He went to look for it in the closet. “’Cause you’re wearing that.”
Flopping back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, Soohyun lazily pointed towards the side of the room, where his bag was pushed up against the wall. “I packed it, it should be on top.” He craned his neck as he heard AJ pass and watched the muscles in his back move as he crouched over Soohyun’s bag and began to pull at the zipper. “What do you want me to wear it for though? I doubt it’ll be cold in Ronan’s apartment.”
Soohyun… had packed already. While AJ had been alone in the shower, mourning the loss of their romping freedom, Soohyun had been getting ready to go. AJ took a moment to steady himself, clenching his fists until his knuckles showed, before turning around and smiling. “You’re wearing it,” he insisted a second time, striding over and smacking it down on Soohyun’s bare chest. Soohyun’s bare chest, and his bare back, and his bare everything underneath the… “Hey, don’t lie with the wet towel on the bed,” AJ scolded. He yanked it off of Soohyun before the other boy could protest. Now Soohyun really was naked, stretched across the bed, on top of the clean sheets… And why should they stay clean, really; it would be a crime to just leave them that way…
Before he realized what he was doing, AJ found himself on top of Soohyun. Oops. Soohyun’s teasing had been accurate, except he had underestimated him. AJ was hornier than a rabbit. But it was just so hard when Soohyun was so… Gah. Embarrassed, AJ started to slide off of him, muttering, “We should hurry and get ready.”
But Soohyun wasn’t ready to let go. He grabbed onto AJ’s waist and held him in place, sliding the jacket from between their chests as he leaned up, capturing AJ’s mouth with his own before bringing them both back down onto the covers. He traced over AJ’s lips with his tongue and wasted no time in tilting up his jaw, deepening the kiss as soon as AJ’s mouth parted. He groaned lowly in the back of his throat and hooked his fingers behind AJ’s ears, pulling him as close as possible before letting go. “Goddamnit,” he swore, releasing his head back into the mattress. “We’re never going to get out of here at this rate.”
“Mmm,” AJ managed to mumble. This time was also definitely his fault. How did people in love ever do anything? Like, normal things, outside of their rooms? And why would they want to? No, he knew the reason why. He did want to see Ronan. So he would control himself. But only for Ronan. “I’m getting off you now, for real,” he said, settling one leg on the ground, then the other. But he couldn’t help himself from gazing down at Soohyun anyway. That wouldn’t hurt, right? “You know…” he began, running a hand down Soohyun’s side. “Tonight I’ll leave… certain parts of you alone. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do… other things.” He sidled over to the dresser, opening one of the drawers and pretending to act nonchalant. “Sooo… we should hurry and go. So we can come back.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Soohyun propped himself up on his elbows and watched as AJ began rummaging through his clothing, apparently looking for something. “Oh really?” he said. “Care to elaborate?”
AJ pulled out a shirt without looking at it, and then opened a different drawer to find a pair of jeans. Without looking back at Soohyun, he said, “You know… kissing stuff… touching stuff…stuff with tongues… and panting and moaning and holding you down on the bed…” He finally turned around, wearing a blank expression and executing a perfectly noncommittal shrug. “Whatever you want.”
Soohyun’s eyebrow lifted even higher as he stood up, pushing himself away from the bed and walking up to AJ, standing toe to toe, smirking when he saw AJ’s eyes flicker downwards before flashing back up to his face. “Whatever I want?” he asked. He hummed thoughtfully in the back of his throat for a moment before slowly stepping to the side, circling AJ’s body so he could get into the dresser himself. He tugged out a pair of boxers, AJ’s boxers, and carefully pulled them on before turning back to AJ, matching his earlier blasé expression perfectly. “What if I said I wanted you to rip these boxers of yours off of me as soon as we were through that door? And what if I wanted to hold you down and make you scream my name?” He let his face change into an expression of perfect, innocent curiosity. “What would you do then?” He pressed his lips to AJ’s ear and ran a hand down his still bare chest. “Hmm, Jaeseop?”
AJ shivered; he couldn’t help it. Though he did manage to keep himself from seizing Soohyun around the waist and covering his mouth with his and bending him back over the dresser, or forcing him against the wall, or pushing him down onto the floor-any surface, really-or picking him up and carrying him to the bed… AJ took a deep breath, clearing his throat. “Yeah, that sounds alright,” he answered, eyes flicking away from the other boy-why was the sight of Soohyun in his clothes so inexplicably hot? “Now excuse me, I need to put on some boxers of my own,” he said, gently pushing Soohyun away from the appropriate drawer.
Soohyun smiled, quite pleased with himself, and let AJ pass, turning away to begin putting on his own clothes which he had left lying beside his bag. Although, he should probably switch shirts, now that AJ wanted him to wear his jacket. Grabbing his bag and pulling it closer, he began rummaging around for a particular top he had in mind. He let out a tiny sound of excitement when he finally found it, buried at the bottom, and quickly pulled it out, unfolding it with one hand while shutting the bag with the other. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back laughter, eyes roaming over the gray lettering on the otherwise all black t-shirt. TROUBLEMAKER. Yeah, that was him, he would admit it. Especially since he was going over to Ronan’s, and already had a few plans in mind on how he was going to utilize his new found friendship. Slipping it over his head, he allowed a small to tug at his lips, hidden away as he began to pull on his jeans. Jumping back on the bed, he tugged on his socks while he waited for AJ to finish, bouncing slightly on the bed as AJ began to pull on socks of his own.
Now fully clothed, AJ straightened up, saying, “Okay, are you-” Then he stopped dead, seeing Soohyun’s shirt. He cocked an eyebrow. “Really?” He pushed the white leather jacket still lying on the bed towards him. “Well, at least it’s helping you learn English,” he muttered. “Now, put that on and let’s go,” he said, at a normal volume.
Soohyun stood up, grabbing the jacket and holding it out to AJ’s chest, staring at him expectantly. “If you want me to wear it so bad, you can do the honor of putting it on me.” He smirked, and lowered his voice as AJ’s fingers curled around the fabric. “And taking it off.” Then he abruptly looked away, holding his head high and sticking out his arms, closing his eyes tight as he waited, trying so hard not to laugh.
AJ skeptically regarded Soohyun’s clenched eyes and the look of amusement his face was failing to hide. He bit his lip. The other boy was really driving him crazy. He was going to get it later-well, not get it; he did want Soohyun to be able to sit on the plane. But he was getting something. He slipped the jacket over one of Soohyun’s arms, draping it across his back and pushing his other arm in. “It will be my pleasure,” he said. He bent down and kissed Soohyun on the nose. “Now, let’s finally go see that crazy friend of mine, huh?”