(suju) it's not a complicated story; eeteuk/eunhyuk.
it's not a complicated story
(suju) 2635 wds. g; rpf - eeteuk/eunhyuk, various ninja!pairs (mostly gen)
eeteuk knows it's all okay, all the tears now are happy tears, finally.
s. it's a push and pull relationship, and to eunhyuk, eeteuk has always lived up to being a good hyung.
a/n. another one of those life of it's own fics, seriously, what are these koreans doing to my head? i've always wanted lengthy eunteuk friendship fic, and one day i woke up and decided to just write it myself, and this is what came of it. lots of not-so-ninja!hyuksu because i wrote it, and i can't help myself, okay? ninja!eunhae and ninja!kangteuk if you squint, and possibly some hyukmin if you squint even harder; happy birthday eeteuk. :)
d. i do not know, nor am i affiliated with, eunhyuk, eeteuk, super junior, or sm entertainment. none of the events depicted in this story happened the way they are written here.
- - -
Hyukjae is with Junsu (like one of them was ever without the other anyway, back in the day) when he first meets Jungsu. Never mind that Hyukjae and Junsu have been with the company longer, Jungsu is older by a good number of years anyway, so after a very short while, he immediately becomes Jungsu-hyung.
And Jungsu, despite having his own (numerous) flaws, has always lived up to the title, and Hyukjae will be the first to attest to that.
*
"Hyung, hyung," Junsu starts, a mischievous grin on his face, "today we decided-"
"-that it's your turn to treat us out!" Hyukjae finishes, his own smile matching the other boy's.
Jungsu laughs at the use of "your turn," like it was ever not his turn. But this has become routine anyway, between him and the two other boys.
"Don't you have other people to bug?" Jungsu jokes, smiling wide, knowing full well how this is all going to end up.
When the two just keep grinning at him, he continues with, "Do you two even have any other friends apart from each other?!"
"Nah," Junsu says, "we don't need anyone else!"
"We ostracize the rest of the school," Hyukjae sniggers, slinging an arm around Junsu's shoulders.
"We're willing to make room for hyung though, if you treat us out to dinner tonight."
Jungsu laughs because he knows the two are going to clean his wallet out again, but he doesn't really mind if it's the two of them. And if they run out of change for subway tickets, then so what? He knows they'll make do.
*
There are rumors about the three of them (Hyukjae, Junsu, and Sungmin - not Jungsu, obviously) debuting soon, so they're working hard, working their asses off so they can get there together, so they can reach their dreams.
Jungsu thinks he's very happy for, and very proud of his dongsaengs. They're younger, but he knows his turn will come eventually.
But then things don't always go the way they're supposed to, and Junsu's voice refuses to break in time, and the doctors are of no help. They just tell him he's one of those special cases, and they don't really know how long it'll take for him, just that it'll probably be some time, etc. And just like that, the rumors of their R&B trio debuting die down, and one day, Jungsu finds himself comforting Hyukjae.
"I don't know what to do, hyung," he says, trying to be strong, "Junsu's blaming himself - I caught him crying once, after the first trip to the doctor, and I didn't know what to say. He's my best friend, and I had no idea what to say. And Sungmin-hyung is frustrated, I can tell. I think he's frustrated at Junsu and Junsu's voice, and frustrated at himself because he knows it's not really Junsu's fault. And you know, he's probably frustrated at me too, for not saying anything. He's been attending practice less and less and and I want to talk to him, but I don't know what I'm supposed to say either."
Jungsu could see Hyukjae's fists balled up, like he's desperately trying to hold something back.
"Hey," Jungsu says softly, "It's okay to cry, you know. It doesn't make you any less of a man."
"Is that why hyung is such a crybaby?" Hyukjae remarks after a slight pause, trying to make a joke, but failing because he chokes up after, and Jungsu sees the tears flowing steadily down his cheeks. He just smiles and keeps the younger boy company for the rest of the afternoon, never mind that his own cheeks are damp as well.
*
One would think things couldn't get any worse, but Murphy's Law exists for a reason, and of course they do, and it happens when the pending debut of Dong Bang Shin Ki is announced by the company.
Jungsu is there when Junsu tells Sungmin and Hyukjae, and he could see Sungmin struggling with his frustration even as he congratulates Junsu. He can also see the bright smile on Hyukjae's face that appears after the initial moment of surprise and confusion, and then Hyukjae telling Junsu that's he's very proud of him, and he could see Junsu being very apologetic, close to tears, barely knowing what to say.
Later, when Junsu is called off for a meeting with his new unit and Sungmin's gone home early (third time that week, and at the back of his head, Jungsu is worried about him), Hyukjae is left alone in the practice room, dancing, dancing, just dancing.
"Hyukjae-ah, are you alright?" Jungsu asks, concerned.
"I will be, hyung," Hyukjae answers, smiling wide, even though the happiness doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course! He's my best friend, I know what he can do. I'm proud of him. Our turn will come soon, right, hyung?"
Hyukjae says these words like he really believes them, and Jungsu knows that this is because he really does.
He runs into Donghae on his way out of the dance room, and he smiles because he thinks that maybe Donghae (who's losing Yunho, the same way Hyukjae is losing Junsu) can understand better than him.
*
"Hyung, did you see DBSK's debut on TV?" Hyukjae asks Jungsu, "They were amazing, weren't they?"
Jungsu laughs, and nod in agreement, "Yes, they were."
"I called him after their performance," Hyukjae continues, his voice dropping to a low whisper, "Junsu told me he wants to see me on stage soon too, hyung."
"Soon," Jungsu just repeats, as he pats Hyukjae lightly on the shoulders.
Hyukjae smiles at him, determined.
"Hyuk, come on! I thought we were going to practice our moves?" Donghae interrupts, tugging at Hyukjae's arms as he passes them in the hallway, and smiling at Jungsu in acknowledgement.
"Be right there with you, Hae," Hyukjae calls back, and then turning again to Jungsu, "We'll just have to work hard for now, right, hyung?"
"Right," Jungsu answers, and he just knows it'll all work itself out soon.
*
Things do get better when SM puts twelve boys together and tells them that they're to debut together. They're called something stupid at first (Obey the Voice something whatever), but then it's changed to something just as weird (Super Junior), but at least it's easier to remember. Jungsu thinks it's a crazy idea, twelve boys debuting together, and it's going to be hard, getting noticed in such a big group, but he knows it's the company's way of letting twelve boys achieve their dreams (and their way of making money, of course, but that's only secondary for now, when twelve boys are achieving something they've wanted for so long).
Hyukjae's in it (and Jungsu has never imagined he'd debut with Hyukjae, but he finds he's very glad about it anyway), Sungmin's in it (Sungmin who seems to have found his dream again, much to Jungsu's relief), Donghae's in it (and Jungsu's extra happy for Hyukjae, because while he doesn't get to debut with Junsu, at least he gets to debut with his other best friends), and so are Heechul and Youngwoon and Jongwoon and a few more others, and it's crazy but Jungsu's glad he's going to get to debut with dongsaengs he's fond of.
He's lost though when management tells him that he's to be the leader of the new group, and he thinks they must really be insane then, because he knows he's the least qualified person for the job.
"What about Youngwoon?" he asks, "Wasn't he the leader of that Four Seasons group?"
But his hesitations fall on deaf ears and he gets stuck with the role.
"I think you'd be a great leader, hyung," Hyukjae assures him, smiling, all gums and teeth, and Jungsu can't help but feel a lot better because of his words.
*
Training with an actual debut in sight is harder than any of them expected, but they keep at it anyway, because while they might have different reasons for wanting this, the bottom line is, that they all want this.
Jungsu still feels useless as leader - he constantly feels like he's not doing enough, like he should maybe exert twelve times the normal effort because he is, after all, in charge of eleven other boys.
"You think too much, hyung," Hyukjae (Eunhyuk?) suddenly tells him one day, "You do more than enough. Hell, I think even Heechul-hyung respects you as leader."
When Youngwoon (no, Kangin now) envelopes him in a bear hug the day he reaches his weight goal (the goal that Jungsu had promised to help him achieve), and tells him, "Thanks hyung. I couldn't have done it without you," Jungsu feels a strange sense of pride and accomplishment, and until now, every time he looks back, he thinks this was probably the first time he finally felt like he really filled Eeteuk's shoes.
"I told you, hyung, you're special," Hyukjae says, laughing, when Jungsu tells him about it.
*
When they debut, it's a wonderful, indescribable feeling, and Jungsu, no, Eeteuk cries and cries and cries and he can't believe it's finally his turn. Eunhyuk (Eunhyuk now, not Hyukjae, Eeteuk has to keep reminding himself) is at his side, also crying, crying, bawling, and then later, Eeteuk catches him on the phone, on a long-distance phone call with Junsu, still crying, but Eeteuk knows it's all okay, all the tears now are happy tears, finally.
*
"When we were younger, did you ever think we'd end up DJ-ing a radio show together?" Eunhyuk asks out of the blue one night on the way home from Sukira.
"Not really," Eeteuk confesses, "But I like this job."
"Well of course you would, you can't get enough of hearing yourself speak," Eunhyuk teases.
"Aish!" Eeteuk laughs, slapping the other lightly on the shoulder. "By the way, that meeting earlier that you missed, I can't believe I forgot to tell you until now. Apparently we're having DBSK as guests next month."
"No!!" Eunhyuk exclaims, and Eeteuk laughs because Eunhyuk's eyes suddenly widen as if he'd seen a ghost.
"It means they'll be back in Korea soon," he points out.
"I know. But hyung, this will be hard," Eunhyuk pretends to whine, even as he tries to hide the grin that's beginning to tug at his lips, "Junsu will be there. I'd actually have to be nice to him!"
"If you say so," Eeteuk just says, chuckling, buyt he's even more excited now. He thinks if it's possible, he's missed Hyukjae&Junsu together as much as the two of them have missed each other.
*
Eunhyuk is slowly making an image for himself not only as Super Junior's Dance Machine, but also as Super Junior's King of Fail (albeit the second title, no one really mentions out loud).
All the members have begun teasing him endlessly about his porn habits in public, and once, after Eeteuk sheds Eeteuk, he asks Hyukjae as Jungsu, "Don't you ever get fed up?"
Hyukjae looks a little taken aback at the question at first, but then answers truthfully, "Not really. The truth is, I was really lonely when Junsu left and became part of DBSK. Everything suddenly changed, just like that, because management said so. If it wasn't for you, hyung, and the rest of Super Junior, I don't know where I'd be. It's why I really don't mind when everyone makes fun of me, because I know no one really means anything by it. You tease each other a lot when you're family, right?"
"It's probably also karma from when you and Junsu used to make Donghae cry all the time, you know," Jungsu jokes.
"Aish! Yes! I'd be glad to think that all my misfortunes are that idiot Junsu's fault!" Hyukjae laughs, "Although you know, hyung, it really does get embarrassing sometimes. Like today, my mother, of all people, called me and asked about my porn! How do you answer your mother about that?!"
Jungsu laughs at that, but now at least he knows that Hyukjae understands that the members only tease him out of love. He would never allow it otherwise, after all.
*
The Accident is the biggest blow the group receives, and Eeteuk starts thinking that maybe thirteen really is a cursed number, as he stares at the ceiling of his hospital room.
"Are you feeling better now?" he asks Eunhyuk, who'd stopped by with Ryeowook (who was with Kyuhyun at the moment).
"Don't worry about me, hyung, the doctors wouldn't let me go if I wasn't ready. Worry about yourself, okay?"
"How's Kyuhyun, then?" Eeteuk asks after a pause.
"He's... he'll get better, hyung. Same as you."
Thirty minutes later, when Ryeowook drops by and tells Eunhyuk that it's time to go home, Eeteuk suddenly feels like he can be selfish just this once and grabs onto Eunhyuk's arms.
"I don't want to be alone," he says, "Can't you guys stay for the night?"
"But hyung," Eunhyuk protests, "I'm already discharged!"
But he knows they won't be able to refuse anyway, especially Eunhyuk, and he's right. Ryeowook stays just for the night, but Eunhyuk ends up sleeping by his bedside for the rest of the week. And then at least two nights a week, for the ones that followed.
*
Eeteuk actually feels a little guilty about playing yet another hidden camera on Eunhyuk, especially one such as what they had planned. He feels guilty because he knows how much Super Junior means to Eunhyuk, how much a news of a possible break-up can effect him. Kangin assures him it'll all be alright, though, Eunhyuk can take it, so eventually he agrees.
He still feels a little awkward though, so in the end his only role is that he takes Eunhyuk and Ryeowook to the designated restaurant right after Sukira.
When the prank starts, he feels even stranger, because as he expected, Eunhyuk is vocal about his feelings for the group, arguing for everyone, trying to explain and and understand all sides involved, and at the back of his mind, Eeteuk is thinking, this isn't right. He stays quiet throughout the prank, and he wants to comfort Eunhyuk when he starts crying, but he just lets the others do it, because he is still feeling strangely guilty.
The prank obviously opens a bigger can of worms than they expected, and all the members stay up late talking about their issues, their problems, strengthening their ties not only as Super Junior but as friends.
"I'm sorry," Eeteuk says, pulling Eunhyuk aside in the middle of the impromptu open forum.
"It's okay, hyung, don't worry," Eunhyuk grins at him, "I'm just glad everything is getting fixed now. And that we're all still together."
Eeteuk can't help but smile back, squeezing Eunhyuk's shoulders, "Yeah."
*
"Can you believe it's been almost three years?"
"Hyung, are you going to be all mushy on me again?" Eunhyuk laughs, but Eeteuk knows he's listening.
"Do you regret not debuting with Junsu?" Eeteuk suddenly finds himself asking.
"Hyung, why are we talking about this?" Hyuk frowns.
"I'm just curious," Eeteuk says.
"I don't like thinking about what could have been. I'm here with you now, hyung, as Super Junior, and just for this I'm very thankful, the same way Junsu is thankful to be in DBSK, I'm sure."
"All the recent drama with the fans and the Chinese sub-unit has made me think, and, well, Super Junior isn't forever you know-" Eeteuk starts.
"We all know," Eunhyuk interrupts, "And neither is DBSK so maybe one day we can be on stage together again, who knows? For now we just do what we need to do, like we always have. Think about happier things, hyung."
And then they're quiet for a while until Eunhyuk speaks again, softly, "If it makes you feel better, I'll follow you even after Super Junior, Leader-sshi."
"Aish! Now who's the mushy one?!"
But it gives him a sort of content feeling, knowing that while they're not exactly best friends (Eunhyuk has Junsu for that, and then Sungmin, and then Donghae, and personally Eeteuk thinks he already has his hands full with all 12 other Super Junior members, and now possibly even two more, to choose a best anyone), Eunhyuk has been something constant in his life for years now, and for years more to come.
/ fin.