XMAS DANCE
so this week has been very eventful for me. and this weekend seems like its going to be very eventful too. last night was a good/ bad night. i get home from school and my mom has this shitty look on her face. i ask "whats wrong?" she says, " nothing dont fucking talk to me." i ask again "whats wrong?". she says " you you're a horrible daughter you're such a fuck up you make me the way i am im having a mental break down because of you. i wish i never had you you were a mistake." so i start to cry get up and walk to the shower and cut the fuck out of my self in the shower. i sit in the shower and cry for about an hour. after the water gets cold i get out. my moms waiting for me at the door. and she goes come here so she goes into my room and is like "i dont know what to do with you anymore. im not sending you away but do you have any suggestions on what i SHOULD do?" i say " dont ground me for months and i wont go psycho. and stop being a pill poppingbitch".( which i feel bad for saying now.) ANYWAYS. she apologizes and now i think my mom is seriously bipolar. getting drunk ONCE for the first time in ALONG time isnt bad at all and ive stopped doing drugs when she still does them. im making improvements in my life but its hard to when youre only role model doesnt do anything. im just glad im not leaving any more. that would be really hard for me to deal with. but this weekend should make my week better. im going dress shopping today for the presidents dinner & dance which is going to suck up friday and saturday but i have a date to the dance and he's really sweet. i hun gout with him alot last weekend and its weird how i like him i havent LIKED any one in awhile. i think he's good for me but like i said before we're taking it slllooowww. but this weekened just brings me closer to the 15th and i get ungrounded. but i think next week will be really stressful with semester exams. i hope i do fine! but i think thats all i have to say for now!
toodles!
♥ payton
toodles!
♥ payton