Unicorn Club #4: Lila's Little Sister
This is the one where Lila gets a little sister. Only, y'know, not really. The people in charge of titles like to lie.
Okay, I see Lila and Ellie and Jessica, but who the hell is that on the left? Not Maria, not Liz, not Mandy, Evie or Mary. That only leaves Ellen, but it doesn't look like her either. Looks more like the evil rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail with those teeth. Meh.
Lila has roped Ellie's mum, Mrs McMillan, into being her mum for the day. It's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, so that young uns can learn what women do in the workplace. Because this is 1942, and women in the workplace is an entirely new concept *rolls eyes*. Turns out practically the whole club have parents who work for Fowler Enterprises. Mary's mum does market research, and Ellen's mum works for an accounting firm that's going over the Fowler books (you figure that they'd still be working in the accounting office, but whatevs). Even the twins are there, because Mama Wakefield is redecorating some of the conference rooms.
Lila is awesome. She talks about Ellie and her mum, and says "Ellie thinks I'm really pretty, and I think she's just as cute as I was at her age." A high compliment indeed. Ellie goes to the daycare centre where the club volunteers, and she likes Lila best. Good choice, kid.
Apparently Mandy's mum is a seamstress. I guess that's meant to explain why they're poor, but seriously, what an old-fashioned poor job. Very 18th century. What exactly is so crap about being a seamstress? Do they even still call them seamstresses?
Lila feels kind of envious, watching everyone with their mothers, talking about going shopping and cooking and being fussed over. But then she dismisses it. Lila has a personal shopper to help her! And she gets gourmet food delivered and frozen at home! Mothers are for the working classes.
Mrs Ritemen the "fussbudget" is annoyed when Lila laughs at her, and begins to criticise Lila's upbringing. For someone obsessed with manners, that's a pretty poor show. Obnoxious bitch. Lila dismisses her, saying that if being a mom was so hard, they'd get paid for it. Oh, Lila. We all wish they would. Everyone smiles at Lila condescendingly, and explain that being a mum involves being consistent and keeping promises. It's not all fun and games. Plus, sometimes kids poo on things.
At her office, Mrs McMillan explains to Lila what she's working on for Fowler Enterprises. Get this: it's a way for computers to TALK to one another! They use what's called a modem, to communicate over the phone lines. Ooooohh! Mrs M demonstrates, and Lila hears a sound that's "like a telephone being dialed" and then a document is magically sent to New York! Oh, 1994. So advanced. :)
They go for lunch, and Mrs M crashes into a good-looking man. Sparks fly. Turns out the guy's name is Gerald, and Mrs M used to date him! He asks her out, but Mrs M can't get a baby-sitter. Plus she's poor after being unemployed for ages. So Lila offers free baby-sitting services if she's called between the hours of 5.30-6pm, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Lila later helps Mrs M find an awesome, cheap dress from the Attic, the vintage clothing store. If the clothes in there are so fabulous, I don't get why Mrs Kim doesn't charge more. Really good vintage clothing is worth a decent amount of money. More than the pennies these chumps pay, at least. And if they're old movie costumes they'd be worth even more.
Ellie gets dropped off at Lila's place that night, as Mr Fowler leaves on yet another business trip. Lila's a little sad about her neglectful father, and is glad to have Ellie as company. Ellie's being all cute and sweet, as Lila thinks she always is. Because Lila sees her when she's overtired or sick. Yup. Lila goes to bed after Ellie's gone and thinks about how Mrs Riteman's full of crap. Mothering is easy. Look at what a great mother Mrs Wakefield is.
Fuck. If Mrs Wakefield is her pinnacle of mothering ability, then Lila's kids are screwed.
The next day at school, the Unicorns argue over whose mother is better. For realz. When Lila calls them on being morons, Ellen is bitchy enough to say that Lila doesn't understand. Jessica defends Lila, and Lila wonders what she's missing. She looks "like any other seventh-grade girl, except maybe prettier and better dressed." Heh. I love your confidence, Lila.
Mrs M and Gerald are fast falling in LUV again. Ellie senses this at a picnic at the centre and is not impressed. So she starts acting up. But Mrs M doesn't really notice coz she's whispering sweet/dirty nothings into Gerald's ear (the Unicorns all call him Mr Stillman, but I like his first name better). Mrs M asks Lila to baby-sit again the next night. This time, Ellie is really naughty, and Lila decides to talk to her rather than yelling. Lila is actually pretty good at handling Ellie. She has this thing about their relationship having "mutual respect". Lila explains to Ellie about Mr Fowler always going away, but he still loves Lila. Ellie says that her mum likes Gerald better than her, and Lila quickly sets her straight. But Ellie's still pondering the deep things about life. Smart kid, for a four-year-old.
Lila, at the age of thirteen, is already worried about the fat content of ice cream. Ugh. But I remember several occasions in SVT when she made Jessica feel bad for eating fatty stuff instead of carrots. Oh, Lila. Don't turn into one of those girls. You're better than them. Your little pinky has more class than they do.
Anyway, Lila's really looking forward to Seventh Heaven weekend, which is a dance on Friday night, then a big picnic the next day where everyone brings something. Lila's dad has agreed to come! Yaaay! But then at dinner on Tuesday, he bails. He has to go to Boston on business. Lila hides her shattered dreams and eats her veal.
The next day they're all at the daycare centre, and Lila is playing with Ellie again. You're really not supposed to spend all your time with one kid at places like that or they get too attached to you and don't play with other kids as well. But whatever. Lila goes to make snacks for everyone (I could swear kids usually bring their own food to daycare. Considering this is a non-profit organisation that must get pretty expensive) and Ellie packs a sad. Lila brings her into the kitchen to help, and that quietens her. Then when Lila leaves the room for a minute (way to leave kids unsupervised in a kitchen, fool), Ellie smears grape jam all over the fridge. Lila doesn't yell, she just talks to her, and Ellie starts being good again.
It's the night of the dance, and Lila feels uncomfortable in the outfit the personal shopper chose for her. It was the most expensive outfit in the store, and Lila suddenly wonders if the shopper even cares what she buys. Maybe she only cares about commission. She starts feeling really upset and lonely. Oh, Lila. Hug me!
The door knocks. It must be the Wakefields to pick her up. But it's not. It's Ellie! Alone!
Turns out she ran away. Scary thought, a little four-year-old wandering alone at night. She overheard her mum and Gerald planning to go away together. Then her baby-sitter put her to bed and she ran away. Fuck, I'm glad I'm not that baby-sitter. Lila absently promises Ellie she won't tell anyone she's here, then realises what she's promised. She can't break a promise to a kid! Lila rings the Wakefields and fakes a sickie to skip the dance. For a second, Lila considers leaving Ellie alone for a few hours. I don't even know how to descibe how dumb that idea is. Fortunately, she dismisses it.
She and Ellie play with Lila's dolls for awhile. Apparently Lila has hundreds more dolls in storage. What a waste. Then Jessica appears under Lila's window on her bike. She left the dance because she felt bad about Lila missing it. Lila is touched. Those two are so cute. Ellie starts jumping on the bed and falls off, and starts crying. Jessica hears the crying and gets suss. She runs upstairs and finds Ellie. Jessica tells her to call Mrs M. Lila refuses, and Jess leaves.
Ellie is overtired and is being an evil brat. She's screaming, demanding ice cream, and throwing Lila's doll around. Lila gives in to Ellie's demands. She's dumb enough to say no first, and then give in, every time. Stick to one answer, Lila. Otherwise kids will smell your fear and manipulate the shit out of you. Lila makes her a sandwich, but Ellie doesn't want lumps in her peanut butter!! Lila finds creamy peanut butter. Ellie wants chocolate milk. Lila gives in to her, on the condition that she goes to bed after. She does.
Jessica and Ellen arrive, and tell Lila to call the baby-sitter. She refuses to break her promise to Ellie. Jess or Ellen should call her! I mean, WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?!
I just had a thought. Who the hell stays with Lila at night? Mrs Pervis goes home, and her dad's always away. Does he seriously leave his barely teenage daughter all alone at night is a house that's huge and just screaming to be robbed? Freaky. It's called neglect, Mr Fowler, and it's a type of child abuse. Lila is still legally a child.
Jess and Ellen stay the night, and Ellie wakes Lila up early on Saturday morning to watch cartoons. She's already screaming. Then Mr Fowler arrives home early! Lila, Jessica and Ellen manage to hide the kid stuff, and Mr F goes to his study. Jessica says that Mrs M has probably called the police already. Lila freaks. She hasn't even considered the police. Maybe she could get done for kidnapping! Jessica and Ellen leave, and Mrs Pervis arrives home. Lila's not really acting natural, and Mrs P gets suspicious. Lila manages to distract her and heads back upstairs to the devil child.
Mr Fowler knocks on the door, and Lila hides Ellie under the bed. Turns out Mrs M rang Mr Fowler, hysterical. She knows Ellie is missing. If I were Lila, I'd silently gesture under the bed so he would look and find her. But Lila's brain cell (singular) doesn't think of that. Oh, Lila. I'm so disappointed in you.
Ellie keeps being a demon, bossing Lila around. She starts screaming when there's no purple jelly/jam/whatever in the house, only green. Lila refuses to send her chauffeur out to buy purple jelly, and Ellie starts shrieking. Lila gives in. Ellie's got her all sussed out. I really hate this kid. Her response after screaming? "You should have gotten me the right kind of jelly."
Little shit.
The Unicorns come over to help, and Elizabeth suddenly realises. If Lila can't tell when Ellie is, then let Ellie tell where Ellie is. They ignore Ellie and she hates her threats being ignored. She starts to scream, smiling triumphantly at Lila and expecting her to tell her to stop. They all ignore her, and she packs a full-on tanty, kicking and shrieking. The door flies open and Mr Fowler and Mrs Pervis come in, and spot Ellie. Shit hits the fan.
Mrs M comes to get Ellie, and she is furious with Lila. Understandably. Lila begins to explain, and says Ellie overheard her plans to leave with Gerald, and how Ellie thought she was going to be left behind. Mrs M explains, and it turns out she was planning a honeymoon. She and Gerald are getting married! She tells Ellie that she would never marry Gerald if he didn't love Ellie too. He loves her now, but I doubt he'll love her when she's cranky. Ugh. Imagine this kid as a teenager! Mrs M lets Lila off the hook, and doesn't really mention the baby-sitter, who will probably need therapy.
Off everyone goes to get ready for the picnic. Lila and Mr Fowler talk, and he realises he's been leaving Lila alone too much. He says he'll come to the picnic, and they start to cook something for the picnic. They're doing a crab and rice casserole, something nice and basic for two amateur cooks. *snort* Lila teaches her dad some cooking basics, like what a cup in a recipe is, and how big a saucepan to use, and how to melt butter. Yep. George Fowler really is that stupid. The casserole turns out super yum, which would never happen outside Sweet Valley.
They head off, and everyone loves the casserole. And all ends well in Fowler-land. Until the next business trip anyway.
Okay, I see Lila and Ellie and Jessica, but who the hell is that on the left? Not Maria, not Liz, not Mandy, Evie or Mary. That only leaves Ellen, but it doesn't look like her either. Looks more like the evil rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail with those teeth. Meh.
Lila has roped Ellie's mum, Mrs McMillan, into being her mum for the day. It's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, so that young uns can learn what women do in the workplace. Because this is 1942, and women in the workplace is an entirely new concept *rolls eyes*. Turns out practically the whole club have parents who work for Fowler Enterprises. Mary's mum does market research, and Ellen's mum works for an accounting firm that's going over the Fowler books (you figure that they'd still be working in the accounting office, but whatevs). Even the twins are there, because Mama Wakefield is redecorating some of the conference rooms.
Lila is awesome. She talks about Ellie and her mum, and says "Ellie thinks I'm really pretty, and I think she's just as cute as I was at her age." A high compliment indeed. Ellie goes to the daycare centre where the club volunteers, and she likes Lila best. Good choice, kid.
Apparently Mandy's mum is a seamstress. I guess that's meant to explain why they're poor, but seriously, what an old-fashioned poor job. Very 18th century. What exactly is so crap about being a seamstress? Do they even still call them seamstresses?
Lila feels kind of envious, watching everyone with their mothers, talking about going shopping and cooking and being fussed over. But then she dismisses it. Lila has a personal shopper to help her! And she gets gourmet food delivered and frozen at home! Mothers are for the working classes.
Mrs Ritemen the "fussbudget" is annoyed when Lila laughs at her, and begins to criticise Lila's upbringing. For someone obsessed with manners, that's a pretty poor show. Obnoxious bitch. Lila dismisses her, saying that if being a mom was so hard, they'd get paid for it. Oh, Lila. We all wish they would. Everyone smiles at Lila condescendingly, and explain that being a mum involves being consistent and keeping promises. It's not all fun and games. Plus, sometimes kids poo on things.
At her office, Mrs McMillan explains to Lila what she's working on for Fowler Enterprises. Get this: it's a way for computers to TALK to one another! They use what's called a modem, to communicate over the phone lines. Ooooohh! Mrs M demonstrates, and Lila hears a sound that's "like a telephone being dialed" and then a document is magically sent to New York! Oh, 1994. So advanced. :)
They go for lunch, and Mrs M crashes into a good-looking man. Sparks fly. Turns out the guy's name is Gerald, and Mrs M used to date him! He asks her out, but Mrs M can't get a baby-sitter. Plus she's poor after being unemployed for ages. So Lila offers free baby-sitting services if she's called between the hours of 5.30-6pm, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Lila later helps Mrs M find an awesome, cheap dress from the Attic, the vintage clothing store. If the clothes in there are so fabulous, I don't get why Mrs Kim doesn't charge more. Really good vintage clothing is worth a decent amount of money. More than the pennies these chumps pay, at least. And if they're old movie costumes they'd be worth even more.
Ellie gets dropped off at Lila's place that night, as Mr Fowler leaves on yet another business trip. Lila's a little sad about her neglectful father, and is glad to have Ellie as company. Ellie's being all cute and sweet, as Lila thinks she always is. Because Lila sees her when she's overtired or sick. Yup. Lila goes to bed after Ellie's gone and thinks about how Mrs Riteman's full of crap. Mothering is easy. Look at what a great mother Mrs Wakefield is.
Fuck. If Mrs Wakefield is her pinnacle of mothering ability, then Lila's kids are screwed.
The next day at school, the Unicorns argue over whose mother is better. For realz. When Lila calls them on being morons, Ellen is bitchy enough to say that Lila doesn't understand. Jessica defends Lila, and Lila wonders what she's missing. She looks "like any other seventh-grade girl, except maybe prettier and better dressed." Heh. I love your confidence, Lila.
Mrs M and Gerald are fast falling in LUV again. Ellie senses this at a picnic at the centre and is not impressed. So she starts acting up. But Mrs M doesn't really notice coz she's whispering sweet/dirty nothings into Gerald's ear (the Unicorns all call him Mr Stillman, but I like his first name better). Mrs M asks Lila to baby-sit again the next night. This time, Ellie is really naughty, and Lila decides to talk to her rather than yelling. Lila is actually pretty good at handling Ellie. She has this thing about their relationship having "mutual respect". Lila explains to Ellie about Mr Fowler always going away, but he still loves Lila. Ellie says that her mum likes Gerald better than her, and Lila quickly sets her straight. But Ellie's still pondering the deep things about life. Smart kid, for a four-year-old.
Lila, at the age of thirteen, is already worried about the fat content of ice cream. Ugh. But I remember several occasions in SVT when she made Jessica feel bad for eating fatty stuff instead of carrots. Oh, Lila. Don't turn into one of those girls. You're better than them. Your little pinky has more class than they do.
Anyway, Lila's really looking forward to Seventh Heaven weekend, which is a dance on Friday night, then a big picnic the next day where everyone brings something. Lila's dad has agreed to come! Yaaay! But then at dinner on Tuesday, he bails. He has to go to Boston on business. Lila hides her shattered dreams and eats her veal.
The next day they're all at the daycare centre, and Lila is playing with Ellie again. You're really not supposed to spend all your time with one kid at places like that or they get too attached to you and don't play with other kids as well. But whatever. Lila goes to make snacks for everyone (I could swear kids usually bring their own food to daycare. Considering this is a non-profit organisation that must get pretty expensive) and Ellie packs a sad. Lila brings her into the kitchen to help, and that quietens her. Then when Lila leaves the room for a minute (way to leave kids unsupervised in a kitchen, fool), Ellie smears grape jam all over the fridge. Lila doesn't yell, she just talks to her, and Ellie starts being good again.
It's the night of the dance, and Lila feels uncomfortable in the outfit the personal shopper chose for her. It was the most expensive outfit in the store, and Lila suddenly wonders if the shopper even cares what she buys. Maybe she only cares about commission. She starts feeling really upset and lonely. Oh, Lila. Hug me!
The door knocks. It must be the Wakefields to pick her up. But it's not. It's Ellie! Alone!
Turns out she ran away. Scary thought, a little four-year-old wandering alone at night. She overheard her mum and Gerald planning to go away together. Then her baby-sitter put her to bed and she ran away. Fuck, I'm glad I'm not that baby-sitter. Lila absently promises Ellie she won't tell anyone she's here, then realises what she's promised. She can't break a promise to a kid! Lila rings the Wakefields and fakes a sickie to skip the dance. For a second, Lila considers leaving Ellie alone for a few hours. I don't even know how to descibe how dumb that idea is. Fortunately, she dismisses it.
She and Ellie play with Lila's dolls for awhile. Apparently Lila has hundreds more dolls in storage. What a waste. Then Jessica appears under Lila's window on her bike. She left the dance because she felt bad about Lila missing it. Lila is touched. Those two are so cute. Ellie starts jumping on the bed and falls off, and starts crying. Jessica hears the crying and gets suss. She runs upstairs and finds Ellie. Jessica tells her to call Mrs M. Lila refuses, and Jess leaves.
Ellie is overtired and is being an evil brat. She's screaming, demanding ice cream, and throwing Lila's doll around. Lila gives in to Ellie's demands. She's dumb enough to say no first, and then give in, every time. Stick to one answer, Lila. Otherwise kids will smell your fear and manipulate the shit out of you. Lila makes her a sandwich, but Ellie doesn't want lumps in her peanut butter!! Lila finds creamy peanut butter. Ellie wants chocolate milk. Lila gives in to her, on the condition that she goes to bed after. She does.
Jessica and Ellen arrive, and tell Lila to call the baby-sitter. She refuses to break her promise to Ellie. Jess or Ellen should call her! I mean, WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?!
I just had a thought. Who the hell stays with Lila at night? Mrs Pervis goes home, and her dad's always away. Does he seriously leave his barely teenage daughter all alone at night is a house that's huge and just screaming to be robbed? Freaky. It's called neglect, Mr Fowler, and it's a type of child abuse. Lila is still legally a child.
Jess and Ellen stay the night, and Ellie wakes Lila up early on Saturday morning to watch cartoons. She's already screaming. Then Mr Fowler arrives home early! Lila, Jessica and Ellen manage to hide the kid stuff, and Mr F goes to his study. Jessica says that Mrs M has probably called the police already. Lila freaks. She hasn't even considered the police. Maybe she could get done for kidnapping! Jessica and Ellen leave, and Mrs Pervis arrives home. Lila's not really acting natural, and Mrs P gets suspicious. Lila manages to distract her and heads back upstairs to the devil child.
Mr Fowler knocks on the door, and Lila hides Ellie under the bed. Turns out Mrs M rang Mr Fowler, hysterical. She knows Ellie is missing. If I were Lila, I'd silently gesture under the bed so he would look and find her. But Lila's brain cell (singular) doesn't think of that. Oh, Lila. I'm so disappointed in you.
Ellie keeps being a demon, bossing Lila around. She starts screaming when there's no purple jelly/jam/whatever in the house, only green. Lila refuses to send her chauffeur out to buy purple jelly, and Ellie starts shrieking. Lila gives in. Ellie's got her all sussed out. I really hate this kid. Her response after screaming? "You should have gotten me the right kind of jelly."
Little shit.
The Unicorns come over to help, and Elizabeth suddenly realises. If Lila can't tell when Ellie is, then let Ellie tell where Ellie is. They ignore Ellie and she hates her threats being ignored. She starts to scream, smiling triumphantly at Lila and expecting her to tell her to stop. They all ignore her, and she packs a full-on tanty, kicking and shrieking. The door flies open and Mr Fowler and Mrs Pervis come in, and spot Ellie. Shit hits the fan.
Mrs M comes to get Ellie, and she is furious with Lila. Understandably. Lila begins to explain, and says Ellie overheard her plans to leave with Gerald, and how Ellie thought she was going to be left behind. Mrs M explains, and it turns out she was planning a honeymoon. She and Gerald are getting married! She tells Ellie that she would never marry Gerald if he didn't love Ellie too. He loves her now, but I doubt he'll love her when she's cranky. Ugh. Imagine this kid as a teenager! Mrs M lets Lila off the hook, and doesn't really mention the baby-sitter, who will probably need therapy.
Off everyone goes to get ready for the picnic. Lila and Mr Fowler talk, and he realises he's been leaving Lila alone too much. He says he'll come to the picnic, and they start to cook something for the picnic. They're doing a crab and rice casserole, something nice and basic for two amateur cooks. *snort* Lila teaches her dad some cooking basics, like what a cup in a recipe is, and how big a saucepan to use, and how to melt butter. Yep. George Fowler really is that stupid. The casserole turns out super yum, which would never happen outside Sweet Valley.
They head off, and everyone loves the casserole. And all ends well in Fowler-land. Until the next business trip anyway.