SVT #90: The Cousin War
The Cousin War! This book is basically an extended rip-off of an episode of Three’s Company.
Well, maybe “hate” is a little strong to describe people’s Lizmotions. She’s just a little pissed off at her, I guess. I’ve seen Robin mentioned here before - she is the cousin that looks exactly like the twins, so much so that they could be triplets. Robin is coming to visit because her parents took off to Paris. Don’t they know that she’s better off alone then with Alice and Ned watching her? But, as Robin says, “Who needs Paris when you’ve got Sweet Valley?” Amen!
The cover: A dartboard with a photograph of Elizabeth stuck to it. No actual darts are in her face. There’s one in her ear, though. Tag: “Guess who’s dating Robin’s dream guy?”
(An important thing I’ve learned, writing my second recap: it’s best to recap immediately after you’ve read the book, otherwise you essentially have to read it again.)
Robin is going to stay one week in Jessica’s room and one week in Elizabeth’s room. There’s a Sadie Hawkins dance while she’s there, and Jessica can’t wait to show Robin around and introduce her to all the cute boys. (Did anyone here go to a school with a Sadie Hawkins dance? My school system didn’t do that.) Jessica’s current favorite boy is Juan Valencia, an exchange student from Argentina. For some reason that name makes me think of George Glass...something to do with Valencia meaning orange and that scene in The Brady Bunch. Sorry. Tangent. Valencia doesn’t even mean orange! I think.
Jessica immediately starts putting the pressure on Robin to find a vacation boyfriend. Because heaven forbid she should be in Sweet Valley two whole weeks without a man! Keep in mind this is a book about 12 year olds. *sigh* It’s established that Jessica and Aaron are sort of boyfriend/girlfriend and that Juan, her crush, is staying with Aaron. Jess wants to ask Juan to the dance, she doesn’t care if it hurts Aaron’s feelings. Elizabeth plays coy and won’t say who she wants to ask to the dance. She doesn’t want to jinx it.
Robin goes to school with the twins, gets to hang out at the Unicorner, meet the gang, that sort of thing. Elizabeth doesn’t really get to hang because the computer crashes and she loses the entire special sports edition of the Sixers she’s been working on. Gasp! Don’t you people know that the freedom of the entire world depends on this issue? So, Elizabeth can’t go bowling with everyone because she’s in he 6th grade and without this paper....well, people, don’t you want the world to have freedom? So she tells Todd to keep an eye on Robin, look out for her at the bowling alley (the gang is going bowling after school), and just be “extra nice”. Todd hints around for Liz to ask him to the dance but she’s so distracted by the paper thing she doesn’t even think about it.
And the shenanigans begin! Todd, the loser, doesn’t introduce himself to Robin, but just starts being “extra nice”, as requested by Liz. Jessica is ignoring Aaron quite rudely and fawning over Juan, who’s staring at Robin. Robin is admiring the cute guy, can’t believe she’s met someone, and what a great athlete he is, and how “extra nice” he’s being to her. After bowling two sets, he finally introduces himself. It’s Todd! She’s in luuuuv!
Robin tells the twins about her dream guy that night, but like Elizabeth, she doesn’t want to jinx it by saying his name. Did you hear that? It’s the Three’s Company theme song! She gives them a hint, saying he’s got brown hair and brown eyes. Jessica thinks she’s talking about Juan. It doesn’t even occur to Liz that Robin could be talking about Todd.
It’s established that Juan has a crush on Robin. Jessica does act like a dweeb around him, constantly saying how fabulous he is and how much she loves his accent. Really, this book is just a lot of people thinking in their heads about how much they like someone, and how to tell the person. I mean, we just had a scene where Robin did it (at least she was also bowling), and then Jess did it, and now Juan is doing it! These kids these days.
Robin finds a box of candy taped to her locker - her fav, Jujubes - which she had told Todd she liked. Then she finds a note in her backpack from A. Non saying “Robin, I am so glad you came to Sweet Valley. I look forward to getting to know you better.” You know that no 6th grader would write a note like that. They would write a note that said, “Robin, I like you, do you like me? Check Yes or No” and then there would be two little boxes with “yes” and “no” beside them. So, the sophistication of this note makes me think that it’s from a more, mature, international male...say Juan? But since she found the candy, too, she thinks it’s from Todd!
Lila and Jess are shopping at the mall, and Lila, in her awesome way, tells Jess she better hurry up and ask Juan to the dance. Lila: “What are you waiting for? An earthquake? A sign? Courage?” Ahhh, that Lila. So insightful. Jess is pretty sure Juan likes Robin but she just doesn’t care, she wants him for herself.
Robin gives another clue about the boy she likes...he has a one syllable name. She still doesn’t want to jinx it by saying who it is. Jessica emos some more about how it’s Juan, Juan, Juan! She decides to get to school early and ask Juan to the dance before Robin has a chance.
Here’s a good one - Jessica asks Steven for advice about what to do, saying she saw Juan first and it just isn’t fair that Robin should go after him, especially since she told Robin how she felt. Steve tells Jess just to flat out tell Robin that Jess had first dibs. Then he says, “Jessica, get a grip. It’s only one dance out of like, two thousand”. Heh.
Jessica is so upset that she might not get the guy, she goes back to her room and insists Robin tell her who her mystery man is! Robin reveals that it’s Todd. Jess is stunned...Todd is soooo boring, how could anyone like him besides Liz? Robin is all, “I’d never horn in on a guy you like!” Jess is super relieved until she remembers that just because Robin doesn’t like Juan, doesn’t mean Juan doesn’t like Robin. And here comes our SIT (sociopath in training). Jessica decides that breaking up Liz and Todd is in everyone’s best interest. So she promises not to tell Liz that Robin likes Todd, as Robin is still worried that she’ll jinx it. So, as far as Jess in concerned, everything’s coming up roses. Juan is safe for her, and Liz might get hurt but in time will realize that dating one guy is boring and she should play the field. That Jessica, always looking out for everyone!
Todd goes looking for Elizabeth. For a couple of sixth graders, they have a pretty cute conversation, teasing each other about whether or not Liz is ever going to ask him to the dance. They’ve barely seen each other since she’s been working on that rilly important edition of the Sixers. So they agree to share a sundae after school at Casey’s. Todd seems more mature at 12 than he does at 21.
Meanwhile, Robin gets a note from her secret admirer. Jessica knows it isn’t from Todd, but still doesn’t fill Robin in, and encourages her to hurry up and ask Todd. Robin runs off to the mall - she’s going to ask Todd right now. Finally! The big reveal! Mr. Furley, get in here!
Robin spots Todd - then realizes that he’s with a girl! And that girl is Elizabeth! NOES! I think Robin must have more in common with Jess than Liz, because she actually thinks to herself, “What was Elizabeth doing with her boyfriend, her secret admirer? How could she do that?” Then, we they wave, she thinks “How dare they sit there together and act friendly to me - after what they’ve done!” More drama - she turns and runs out, she never wants to see Elizabeth again, this was clearly all Liz’s doing, she was the one flirting with Todd and feeding him ice cream, Todd was too nice to ever do anything mean! DUH ROBIN, you never TOLD Liz the name of your crush.
Liz runs after her, all concerned, and Robin accuses her of stealing her boyfriend. Another good one here: “Todd’s mine. You’re not going to steal him from me. I’m not going to give him up without a fight, and from now on, as far as I’m concerned, it’s war between us!” Watch out Liz, she’ll boil your bunnies! I imagine the fight will look something like this, except with two blondes:
When Robin fumes to Jess about this grievous betrayal, Jess pretends to be shocked and says that Liz does have a side no one knows about. LOL. I wish Lila were helping Jess with this scheme. Now Jessica decides tomorrow is the right time to ask Juan to the dance, with Robin safely out of the way. Jess feels a little guilty, but as soon as she pictures herself dancing in a gorgeous dress with Juan, she decides all the scheming is worth it.
To make sure Todd does not tell Robin the truth about he and Liz being bf/gf, Jess decides to do a twin switch. As Liz, she tells Todd to agree to go with Robin to the dance as a favor to her. I liked this - she tells Todd that Robin did ask someone, but the guy turned her down and Robin is super heartsick. Todd says, “Robin didn’t strike me as the love struck type - you know, like Jessica.” Then: “It took all of Jessica’s strength not to punch Todd in the face. Instead, she just smiled politely, just as Elizabeth would.” HA! There’s so much right with that sentence!
Todd doesn’t want to go out with Robin but Liz (Jess) insists, so he agrees. Liz(Jess) makes a point of saying she’ll be really busy the next few days then runs off. When the real Liz finds out that Todd agreed to go out with Robin, she’s really pissed and is rude to him but neither one of them takes the time to figure things out. I guess I jumped the gun when I said they were mature. Back at Robin’s locker, she gets another “secret admirer” note but still doesn’t figure out that it’s Juan, even when Juan is standing right there, smiling and waving as she puts on the locket that was with the note. Ugh!
When Jessica calls Juan to ask him out, he flat out says he wanted to go with Robin. Jess doesn’t care, though. God, Jess, that’s humiliating. Hang up the phone! He only agrees to go with her when she tells him about Todd and repeats her offer. Have some pride, girl!
Anyway, since Todd just really can’t stand the idea of going to the dance with someone other than Liz, and finally tells Robin he can’t take her, he has to take his girlfriend, Liz. Robin can’t get over all this wackiness! She blew it with Todd, with Liz, with Juan! (Juan left her a note confessing his secret admirer status). She just wants to go back to San Diego. Hurry, Robin, before it’s too late to leave Sweet Valley! It might already be too late!
Robin gets Todd to come over the night of the dance to straighten things out with Liz. Todd, Robin, and Liz all make up and realize who’s at the bottom of this barrel of monkeys! Jessica! Liz comes up with a plan, and they head off to the dance to get Jess back. Liz dresses up like Jess, and tells Juan she (Jess) doesn’t like him, but that Robin is here to see him. Jess is on the sidelines, looks on the dance floor, and sees Robin and Juan dancing, and Liz and Todd dancing. Ahhh! All of her scheming, wasting!
Then, as she stands there with all the nerds who have no dates, feeling dejected, her “sort of” boyfriend Aaron walks over. It turns out Aaron was doing a little scheming of his own - he helped Juan woo Robin, in order that he could have Jessica. It’s kind of sweet - he knew all along what Jess was up to. She decides she likes that he was a little jealous, and then they dance.
Robin and Liz make Jess grovel a bit before they forgive her. They have a little toast with their Kool-Aid to friendship and cousinhood. Yaaaaaaay!
This is a pretty boring recap, I think. I tried, 1bruce1! The material in this one didn’t give me much to work with - so many times the only reason that people didn’t figure out what was going on was because someone would turn the music up, or the bell would ring or any other number of contrivances. And Liz and Robin were only mad at each other for like, two chapters. And there was so much potential with the word “war” being tossed around! I mean, if I was in 6th grade, I would have at least spread some rumors, or you know, spilled paint on my enemy as I was walking by their desk, something like that. This is Sweet Valley, though.
Well, maybe “hate” is a little strong to describe people’s Lizmotions. She’s just a little pissed off at her, I guess. I’ve seen Robin mentioned here before - she is the cousin that looks exactly like the twins, so much so that they could be triplets. Robin is coming to visit because her parents took off to Paris. Don’t they know that she’s better off alone then with Alice and Ned watching her? But, as Robin says, “Who needs Paris when you’ve got Sweet Valley?” Amen!
The cover: A dartboard with a photograph of Elizabeth stuck to it. No actual darts are in her face. There’s one in her ear, though. Tag: “Guess who’s dating Robin’s dream guy?”
(An important thing I’ve learned, writing my second recap: it’s best to recap immediately after you’ve read the book, otherwise you essentially have to read it again.)
Robin is going to stay one week in Jessica’s room and one week in Elizabeth’s room. There’s a Sadie Hawkins dance while she’s there, and Jessica can’t wait to show Robin around and introduce her to all the cute boys. (Did anyone here go to a school with a Sadie Hawkins dance? My school system didn’t do that.) Jessica’s current favorite boy is Juan Valencia, an exchange student from Argentina. For some reason that name makes me think of George Glass...something to do with Valencia meaning orange and that scene in The Brady Bunch. Sorry. Tangent. Valencia doesn’t even mean orange! I think.
Jessica immediately starts putting the pressure on Robin to find a vacation boyfriend. Because heaven forbid she should be in Sweet Valley two whole weeks without a man! Keep in mind this is a book about 12 year olds. *sigh* It’s established that Jessica and Aaron are sort of boyfriend/girlfriend and that Juan, her crush, is staying with Aaron. Jess wants to ask Juan to the dance, she doesn’t care if it hurts Aaron’s feelings. Elizabeth plays coy and won’t say who she wants to ask to the dance. She doesn’t want to jinx it.
Robin goes to school with the twins, gets to hang out at the Unicorner, meet the gang, that sort of thing. Elizabeth doesn’t really get to hang because the computer crashes and she loses the entire special sports edition of the Sixers she’s been working on. Gasp! Don’t you people know that the freedom of the entire world depends on this issue? So, Elizabeth can’t go bowling with everyone because she’s in he 6th grade and without this paper....well, people, don’t you want the world to have freedom? So she tells Todd to keep an eye on Robin, look out for her at the bowling alley (the gang is going bowling after school), and just be “extra nice”. Todd hints around for Liz to ask him to the dance but she’s so distracted by the paper thing she doesn’t even think about it.
And the shenanigans begin! Todd, the loser, doesn’t introduce himself to Robin, but just starts being “extra nice”, as requested by Liz. Jessica is ignoring Aaron quite rudely and fawning over Juan, who’s staring at Robin. Robin is admiring the cute guy, can’t believe she’s met someone, and what a great athlete he is, and how “extra nice” he’s being to her. After bowling two sets, he finally introduces himself. It’s Todd! She’s in luuuuv!
Robin tells the twins about her dream guy that night, but like Elizabeth, she doesn’t want to jinx it by saying his name. Did you hear that? It’s the Three’s Company theme song! She gives them a hint, saying he’s got brown hair and brown eyes. Jessica thinks she’s talking about Juan. It doesn’t even occur to Liz that Robin could be talking about Todd.
It’s established that Juan has a crush on Robin. Jessica does act like a dweeb around him, constantly saying how fabulous he is and how much she loves his accent. Really, this book is just a lot of people thinking in their heads about how much they like someone, and how to tell the person. I mean, we just had a scene where Robin did it (at least she was also bowling), and then Jess did it, and now Juan is doing it! These kids these days.
Robin finds a box of candy taped to her locker - her fav, Jujubes - which she had told Todd she liked. Then she finds a note in her backpack from A. Non saying “Robin, I am so glad you came to Sweet Valley. I look forward to getting to know you better.” You know that no 6th grader would write a note like that. They would write a note that said, “Robin, I like you, do you like me? Check Yes or No” and then there would be two little boxes with “yes” and “no” beside them. So, the sophistication of this note makes me think that it’s from a more, mature, international male...say Juan? But since she found the candy, too, she thinks it’s from Todd!
Lila and Jess are shopping at the mall, and Lila, in her awesome way, tells Jess she better hurry up and ask Juan to the dance. Lila: “What are you waiting for? An earthquake? A sign? Courage?” Ahhh, that Lila. So insightful. Jess is pretty sure Juan likes Robin but she just doesn’t care, she wants him for herself.
Robin gives another clue about the boy she likes...he has a one syllable name. She still doesn’t want to jinx it by saying who it is. Jessica emos some more about how it’s Juan, Juan, Juan! She decides to get to school early and ask Juan to the dance before Robin has a chance.
Here’s a good one - Jessica asks Steven for advice about what to do, saying she saw Juan first and it just isn’t fair that Robin should go after him, especially since she told Robin how she felt. Steve tells Jess just to flat out tell Robin that Jess had first dibs. Then he says, “Jessica, get a grip. It’s only one dance out of like, two thousand”. Heh.
Jessica is so upset that she might not get the guy, she goes back to her room and insists Robin tell her who her mystery man is! Robin reveals that it’s Todd. Jess is stunned...Todd is soooo boring, how could anyone like him besides Liz? Robin is all, “I’d never horn in on a guy you like!” Jess is super relieved until she remembers that just because Robin doesn’t like Juan, doesn’t mean Juan doesn’t like Robin. And here comes our SIT (sociopath in training). Jessica decides that breaking up Liz and Todd is in everyone’s best interest. So she promises not to tell Liz that Robin likes Todd, as Robin is still worried that she’ll jinx it. So, as far as Jess in concerned, everything’s coming up roses. Juan is safe for her, and Liz might get hurt but in time will realize that dating one guy is boring and she should play the field. That Jessica, always looking out for everyone!
Todd goes looking for Elizabeth. For a couple of sixth graders, they have a pretty cute conversation, teasing each other about whether or not Liz is ever going to ask him to the dance. They’ve barely seen each other since she’s been working on that rilly important edition of the Sixers. So they agree to share a sundae after school at Casey’s. Todd seems more mature at 12 than he does at 21.
Meanwhile, Robin gets a note from her secret admirer. Jessica knows it isn’t from Todd, but still doesn’t fill Robin in, and encourages her to hurry up and ask Todd. Robin runs off to the mall - she’s going to ask Todd right now. Finally! The big reveal! Mr. Furley, get in here!
Robin spots Todd - then realizes that he’s with a girl! And that girl is Elizabeth! NOES! I think Robin must have more in common with Jess than Liz, because she actually thinks to herself, “What was Elizabeth doing with her boyfriend, her secret admirer? How could she do that?” Then, we they wave, she thinks “How dare they sit there together and act friendly to me - after what they’ve done!” More drama - she turns and runs out, she never wants to see Elizabeth again, this was clearly all Liz’s doing, she was the one flirting with Todd and feeding him ice cream, Todd was too nice to ever do anything mean! DUH ROBIN, you never TOLD Liz the name of your crush.
Liz runs after her, all concerned, and Robin accuses her of stealing her boyfriend. Another good one here: “Todd’s mine. You’re not going to steal him from me. I’m not going to give him up without a fight, and from now on, as far as I’m concerned, it’s war between us!” Watch out Liz, she’ll boil your bunnies! I imagine the fight will look something like this, except with two blondes:
When Robin fumes to Jess about this grievous betrayal, Jess pretends to be shocked and says that Liz does have a side no one knows about. LOL. I wish Lila were helping Jess with this scheme. Now Jessica decides tomorrow is the right time to ask Juan to the dance, with Robin safely out of the way. Jess feels a little guilty, but as soon as she pictures herself dancing in a gorgeous dress with Juan, she decides all the scheming is worth it.
To make sure Todd does not tell Robin the truth about he and Liz being bf/gf, Jess decides to do a twin switch. As Liz, she tells Todd to agree to go with Robin to the dance as a favor to her. I liked this - she tells Todd that Robin did ask someone, but the guy turned her down and Robin is super heartsick. Todd says, “Robin didn’t strike me as the love struck type - you know, like Jessica.” Then: “It took all of Jessica’s strength not to punch Todd in the face. Instead, she just smiled politely, just as Elizabeth would.” HA! There’s so much right with that sentence!
Todd doesn’t want to go out with Robin but Liz (Jess) insists, so he agrees. Liz(Jess) makes a point of saying she’ll be really busy the next few days then runs off. When the real Liz finds out that Todd agreed to go out with Robin, she’s really pissed and is rude to him but neither one of them takes the time to figure things out. I guess I jumped the gun when I said they were mature. Back at Robin’s locker, she gets another “secret admirer” note but still doesn’t figure out that it’s Juan, even when Juan is standing right there, smiling and waving as she puts on the locket that was with the note. Ugh!
When Jessica calls Juan to ask him out, he flat out says he wanted to go with Robin. Jess doesn’t care, though. God, Jess, that’s humiliating. Hang up the phone! He only agrees to go with her when she tells him about Todd and repeats her offer. Have some pride, girl!
Anyway, since Todd just really can’t stand the idea of going to the dance with someone other than Liz, and finally tells Robin he can’t take her, he has to take his girlfriend, Liz. Robin can’t get over all this wackiness! She blew it with Todd, with Liz, with Juan! (Juan left her a note confessing his secret admirer status). She just wants to go back to San Diego. Hurry, Robin, before it’s too late to leave Sweet Valley! It might already be too late!
Robin gets Todd to come over the night of the dance to straighten things out with Liz. Todd, Robin, and Liz all make up and realize who’s at the bottom of this barrel of monkeys! Jessica! Liz comes up with a plan, and they head off to the dance to get Jess back. Liz dresses up like Jess, and tells Juan she (Jess) doesn’t like him, but that Robin is here to see him. Jess is on the sidelines, looks on the dance floor, and sees Robin and Juan dancing, and Liz and Todd dancing. Ahhh! All of her scheming, wasting!
Then, as she stands there with all the nerds who have no dates, feeling dejected, her “sort of” boyfriend Aaron walks over. It turns out Aaron was doing a little scheming of his own - he helped Juan woo Robin, in order that he could have Jessica. It’s kind of sweet - he knew all along what Jess was up to. She decides she likes that he was a little jealous, and then they dance.
Robin and Liz make Jess grovel a bit before they forgive her. They have a little toast with their Kool-Aid to friendship and cousinhood. Yaaaaaaay!
This is a pretty boring recap, I think. I tried, 1bruce1! The material in this one didn’t give me much to work with - so many times the only reason that people didn’t figure out what was going on was because someone would turn the music up, or the bell would ring or any other number of contrivances. And Liz and Robin were only mad at each other for like, two chapters. And there was so much potential with the word “war” being tossed around! I mean, if I was in 6th grade, I would have at least spread some rumors, or you know, spilled paint on my enemy as I was walking by their desk, something like that. This is Sweet Valley, though.