SVT #92: Escape From Terror Island
Book two in a thrilling two-book miniseries!
I feel I should warn you before beginning this recap that it will contain a lot of gratuitous (and possibly slightly tasteless) Lord of the Flies references - however, it was unavoidable, as this book was a BLATANT rip-off. Just wait and see...
OK, brief cover comments first - the US cover is actually fairly sensible and shows a scene which is (almost) in the book. Jessica is the twin standing up, while Elizabeth is in Todd’s arms. However, judging from the clothes they are described as wearing in Deadly Voyage, since being shipwrecked they have all managed to go shopping for better outfits in Terror Island mall. As for the boring UK cover which I own, there really isn’t much to say about it except that at some point in the past I seem to have poked Elizabeth’s eyes in with a sharp object (perhaps a pointy stick? see below) on my copy, though you can’t see it on the photo. I’m not sure why, as Elizabeth is actually my favourite of the twins (controversial I know!!)
This book picks up where Deadly Voyage, already fabulously recapped by zippyladoodles here left off - we are treated to an ever-so-arty section in italics from Elizabeth’s point of view as she nearly drowns (take note of this; it will occur again) after the Island Dreamer is shipwrecked. Jessica evidently isn’t so special, because she gets normal text for her nearly-drowning sequence.
Elizabeth wakes up on a beach, then Amy appears. I will recap this section of the book fairly quickly as it is extremely dull. Basically, Elizabeth and Amy fear that all the others have drowned, but soon find Maria, Todd, Randy, and Cammi. We then flip to Jessica’s point of view and get almost entirely the same waking-up-on-a-beach sequence, but when walking through the forest, she bumps into Lila, not Amy. It being Lila, the resulting conversation is slightly more interesting - first Jessica and Lila are in full agreement that they’re in a dream, but hilariously start fighting about whose dream it is, then Lila gets this classic line (when they start describing the scenery to make sure their dreams are the same, and Jess says the water is ‘bluish-green’, ‘the same colour as my eyes, right?’):
Lila peered closely at Jessica. "Well - not really," she said after a moment. "Your eyes are more kind of hazel."
And thus all the Sweet Valley ghostwriters are revealed to be unreliable narrators. Or Lila is jealous of Jessica’s oceany eyes. I prefer the first option :)
Bruce, Aaron, Janet, and Mandy then turn up (I love how they have managed to drown in the correct cliques) and they start arguing about what they should do next. They eventually decide to head back to the beach, and the ghostwriter admits their blatant homage/plagarism by having them take pointy sticks and making this clever comment: Jessica was remembering a movie she’d seen where a bunch of kids attacked a wild boar with some sharpened sticks. Oh, what could she be referring to?
Meanwhile, Elizabeth’s group are heading down the beach, towards a random waterfall, and working themselves up about pirates and cannibals. There is then a deeply boring sequence where each group keeps hearing noises made by the other groups and getting scared by it, culminating with Mandy falling down a hole, Jess shouting "Mandy!" after her, and Elizabeth’s group giving their varying interpretations of what they heard. Elizabeth then falls into the waterfall, so we get nearly-drowning-sequence: take two! complete with a lot of italics as she struggles her way to the surface again. She makes her way to a cave and is joined by the others in her group.
The rest of Jessica’s group have all fallen into Mandy’s pit, which joins onto the cave, so they bump into Elizabeth’s group in the dark - much screaming and irritating twin-recognition sequences ensue.
That’s me. Elizabeth gasped, stepping back. In front of her was her own image. She recognised her own face screwed up with terror, dirty and bruised and -
Wait a minute! Elizabeth blinked again. No, it couldn’t be. The long blond hair was completely dry, not wet and tangled like her own. Instinctively she reached up and patted her hair. Still dripping. And the reflection didn’t move its own hand, which means -
Margo has left Ohio four years early? Unfortunately not. It’s not even Nora. Shame!
After the groups finally join up, they spend yet more time working out that they were each making the noises that the other group heard - I think most of this book consists of intensely dull conversations, until the OMG!ACTION sequence at the end (wait for it…)
They then try to decide what to do next, launching into another round of In Which Everyone Argues (extra bonus points for anyone who gets that reference!) and the LOTF references start to properly kick in, with the conversation going essentially like this:
Jack Merridew Bruce: WE NEED MEAT. And POINTY sticks to stick it with. (Not joking, he actually says "Obviously, the first thing to do is sharpen some sticks and hunt some wild animals." Better hope that there aren’t any wild birds amongst these wild animals, Bruce.) And FIRE. "Fires aren’t too hard to build, you know. If you’re a psycho choir boy Boy Scout, like me." (I find it odd that Bruce is boasting about being a Boy Scout. Isn’t that somewhat embarrassing even at the age of 13/14?)
Piggy Maria: No we must all COMPROMIZE and work together. Let us stamp an SOS into the sand.
Jackbruce: No, we can just set the woods on fire!!!!!111
Ralph all the way Elizabeth: No but if a plane comes we need an SOS!
Jackbruce and Roger Lila: No. WE NEED MEAT. NOT MELONS.
Ralphliz’s minions: "Come on, Elizabeth. Tell these jokers what we need to do. You always have good ideas."
This riveting conversation is then broken up by the arrival of rainclouds; Elizabeth has already suggested building a shelter but the others reject her idea and say they can just sleep in the tunnel they just came out of. Bruce exercises Divide and Rule and compliments Jessica to win her to his side. Jessica wavers for a bit, but is completely won over when Bruce comes up with an utterly original compliment: "Hey, Jessica," Bruce said, his voice smooth as velvet. "Did anyone ever tell you that your eyes are exactly the colour of the ocean here?" Jessica is evidently still OMG!reeling from Lila’s earlier slur, because her reply is, "Whatever you say, Bruce," and she follows him off!
Elizabeth’s group make a shelter, a small fire, and collect food, while Bruce’s group patrol with their sharpened sticks. HA. Elizabeth then observes that the two groups are already sitting miles apart. This is reminding me of Survivor as well as Lord of the Flies now. "The tribe has spoken…"
The next morning, there is another argument over how sick everybody is getting of eating melons, then the plot finally kicks in (or at least twitches slightly) when Elizabeth and Maria find a briefcase full of money. This occurs on p.53 of my UK edition, and the book in total is only 135 pages, so we’re coming up to halfway through and Nothing Has Happened yet… Really, ghostwriter. Really. The kids work out that it must be the money the robbers stole from the bank before they hijacked their boat (Is it not awfully convenient that after being thrown into a ‘ferocious, churning, icy black ocean’ (to steal some of the adjectives that were used earlier on) that not only do all the kids end up on the same island, but so does the briefcase, and so do the hijackers (oops spoiler! oh noes!)
Finding the money just cues yet another argument over what to do with it, and they finally decide to hide it in the tunnel. Bruce then announces to Elizabeth that they are building a raft from giant sea turtles. Elizabeth is rightfully dubious that they will be able to build a decent enough raft to sail away on, but Janet swiftly squashes her: "You have to remember, Elizabeth, Bruce is - "
Terrified of birds? A potential rapist? A Jack Merridew/Sparrow wannabe? No. "A Boy Scout," Elizabeth finished for her. Of course.
They continue to argue while building the raft glifdtydyxsdrhik Sorry, that would be me falling asleep on my keyboard from the repititous arguing... Anyway, they argue over whether to plug the gaps with mud or leaves, how big the raft should be, and if they should build it out of the sun or next to the ocean. The two halves of the raft don’t fit together very well [/Symbolism Alert] By now it’s dark, so they all go to sleep, and Jessica dreams that two shadowy figures had been prowling around near their campfire. This is Foreshadowing, in case you missed it.
The next morning, they decide to try the raft. Lila jumps on first: "I have a hairdresser appointment this afternoon, and she really hates to be kept waiting." Miraculously (this seems very unlikely to me) the raft holds all of them, and they start paddling off, but begin arguing yet again over who has most space on the raft. As they all shuffle around, the raft starts falling apart (ha) and most of them jump off and start to swim back to shore, except for Elizabeth and Todd (anything to get some alone time I suppose - there have been a serious lack of Miller’s Point visits in this miniseries). As they’re about to jump off, a wave sweeps over the raft, and a bit of the raft clonks Elizabeth on the head, giving her her third nearly-drowning experience in this book. Todd grabs her, which I’m guessing is supposed to be the cover picture, although they’re in much deeper water and Jessica isn’t about. But anyways.
Elizabeth gets back to shore and Jackbruce accuses her of sabotaging the raft deliberately so he would look bad, as building it was his idea. The two groups divide again, with Jessica momentarily caught in the middle, until she mentions that she thought she heard somebody skulking around on the beach last night. The others decide that this is Proof that Elizabeth did something to the raft. In the middle of this argument, a plane flies overhead and they all get further upset that they hadn’t kept the fire alight built an SOS earlier. Bruce’s group storm off.
The next morning, Bruce’s tribe find that the fruit they collected the day before has all disappeared Aaron suggests that they might have been eaten by wild horses and waves his pointy stick a bit, which leads into Lila and Janet rhapodising about how wild horses are ‘an important part of nature.’ Jessica then has a completely random fantasy about how she would throw herself between Aaron’s pointy stick and a wild horse to save its life: ‘Then tears would come to Aaron’s eyes, and he would come to his senses and beg for my forgiveness. And he’d throw away his weapon and vow never to kill another beautiful wild creature.’ I have no idea why this is in the book. Aaron then declares he’s going bear hunting instead, which is fine with Lila, Janet and Jessica, because bears aren’t pretty or glossy or sparkly or Unicorn-related.
We then have a rather disturbing exchange between Aaron and Jackbruce, placed just after the exchange about what sort of animal they ought to hunt:
Aaron hefted his stick in the air and glanced over to Bruce. "Coming, Bruce?" he asked. "Bruce?"…"
"It’s got to be Elizabeth again," Bruce muttered.
Sadly, Bruce doesn’t actually mean that they should spit-roast Ralphliz instead of bears or wild horses, but merely that she must have been the one who took their rum fruit. This book would be far far better if it was a decent full-blown ripoff rather than just a watered-down version with endless arguments instead of pointy-stick stabbing. Jessica tries to protest, but Bruce threatens "I think we should reconsider whether certain people belong on this end of the island at all," and she backs down. She works herself up into a fury of a thousand suns at Elizabeth by remembering her past terrible deeds such as:
- Borrowing Jess’s nail polish and spilling it on Jess’s homework (isn’t that more of a Jess thing to do?
- Making Jess sit in the back of the car
- Beating her at Monopoly
If I were Jessica, I would make a better list than this; after all, previous to this book Elizabeth has attempted to control Jessica's life, forced her to quit her part in a film or kiss Randy Mason and Winston Egbert, and embarked on a campaign of evil against her. Anyway, her list does the trick: Jessica looked up at him, her eyes blazing. "You’re right," she said, surprised at how easy it was to convince herself of Elizabeth’s guilt. "I’m with you."
Meanwhile, Elizabeth’s group notice that all their shoes have gone missing, and Todd suggests that they’ve been stolen by Bruce’s group. "I’d almost rather be stranded with the hijackers than with those clowns." Be careful what you wish for, Todd (why do I always type Todd as Tood?). The plot might just kick in at last (p.82!!) They also find that their shelter has been destroyed and blame Bruce’s group again. It starts raining, so all the kids are wet and miserable and angry at each other. MEANWHILE…
(dramatic irony…)
(actual plot…)
(impressive pause…)
The HIJACKERS (dun dun dun) are sitting warm and dry beneath a thatched roof, with a pile of fruit on one side of them and a pile of shoes on the other. Oh Noes! Hahahaha I can’t believe this next section - sorry for the huge number of references thus far, but this ghostwriter was really having a field day…"And the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down," the man called Jack sang again in a mocking baritone. He stopped and gave a rough laugh. "But not on us, huh? Just on all those little Piglets out there."
This is getting ridiculous. Anyway, the two evil villains decide to get their money back and then kill the kids. Cliffhanger!
Bruce’s group are storming through the forest, while Elizabeth’s group are camping out in the tunnel. Elizabeth rages against Bruce’s group, to the shock of everyone else, and she and her group then climb up the hillside. However, before they can get to the top of the hill, they see Jessica in front of them, blocking their path. Jessica is standing by a huge rock, and when Elizabeth tries to scale the hill, she pushes it down upon her, smashing her to smithereens… No, not really. They instead have another petty argument about the stolen belongings, and then we have this sequence, which I actually find quite disturbing in the context of a LOTF-reference-filled-SVT book:
I could actually strangle Jessica, [Elizabeth] told herself. The idea was strangely disgusting and fascinating at the same time. She could feel her hands taking on a life of their own. It was all she could do to keep them at her sides.
I don’t like this passage because it’s never actually resolved - the twins continue with their argument, which escalates until they’re squaring up to each other, and then the hijackers enter in a deux ex machina way and distract them. I can only conclude that Elizabeth too possesses sociopathic tendencies.
The hijackers make their first move by leaving a message in the sand that reads thusly:
$ OR YOU ARE DEAD
It takes the kids two pages to work out that it must have been the hijackers that wrote it, and then we are finally in the midst of plot!
They apologise to each other and then try to work out what they should do. Jessica thinks they should give them the money in the briefcase, but Elizabeth points out that the money is the only thing keeping them alive, as if the hijackers kill the kids before then they may never find the money. Elizabeth comes up with a cunning plan:
"Listen, everybody. Let’s tell them that only one of us knows where the money is hidden - but that we’ll never tell which one. As long as they don’t know where the money is, they’ll keep us alive. They won’t take a chance on killing the only one who knows."
Arya Stark ("Is there gold hidden in the village?") could tell you that that won’t work, Elizabeth. Some of the others are rather doubtful, as well, and so we launch into another argument, which ends with Janet, Lila, Bruce, Aaron, Mandy and Jessica storming off again. This is just stupid; they’ve all just received a death threat and they’re still squabbling?
Bruce’s group decide to stay in the forest to keep away from the hijackers, which makes Jessica nervous because it reminds her of ‘a game of cops and robbers she’d played at Lila’s house last year. She’d walked around and around the mansion… never knowing when someone was about to jump out at her.’ This reminds me of the killer party. But I digress. Jessica hence argues that they should go to the beach as there will be less places for people to hide behind, and surprisingly the rest of the group agree!! They take up position in a small cave but then realise the trail of their footprints indicates where they are. Instead of sweeping them away, they decide to trust that the tide will get rid of them.
Elizabeth’s group meanwhile are walking as far away from their camp as they can get, and then they discover a dinghy in a lagoon. Because she is Noble and Selfless, Elizabeth insists that they must go back for the others before sailing away in it.
The tide is coming in to the cave where the others are hiding, and Jessica, followed by Aaron, goes to the cave entrance to investigate. When she reaches it, a hijacker (Gary) tackles her! In the space of about half a second Gary manages to tie Jessica and Aaron up with vines, which seems pretty fast work to me. He and Jack then tie all the kids in Bruce’s group together and makes them walk through the forest, while Lila threatens to get her father to sue him :)
The hijackers question the kids about the money, but they manage to put up a show of innocence, until Lila is monumentally stupid and gives the game away(sorry Lila fans, but it’s not her best moment). After Lila lands them in it, Jess decides to try Liz’s idea and tells the hijackers that only one of them knows where the money is hidden. Predictably, the hijackers are like "O rly?" and sit them in the sun without any food or water to see how long they’ll hold out. Oops.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth’s group come across this scene, and run right into the middle of it before they realise what’s going on, so they get tackled and tied up as well. Elizabeth is surprised the others have taken her advice. I think this is meant to be an example of true teamwork and co-operation in the face of adversity. It reads to me as an exemplar of just how desperate the situation needed to be before they’d stop arguing…
The hijackers declare they’re going to kill one kid every hour until someone spills the beans. Deadly Voyage take two! I was always very disappointed that no-one did get pushed over the side of the ship in the previous book. Surely we could have sacrificed a few randomers.
Bruce then speaks up; "I think I’m ready to cut a deal with you." The others are shocked at his traitorous behaviour and don’t even think about how obvious a ploy this is. Bruce tells them the money’s in a cave (it’s actually in the waterfall tunnel for those that have forgotten) and then claims that he wants to say good-bye to his friends. He tells them that "They exerted undue pressure on me," then as the hijackers push him forward, he shouts "Not!"
Clever Elizabeth works out Bruce left them a coded message: undo the knots! Could they not have worked that out for themselves more quickly? They all undo each others’ knots, and Jessica finds out that Elizabeth wouldn’t let the others abandon her group. Faced with this shining example, they decide they can’t abandon Bruce either.
In the cave, the hijackers are using a burning torch to light their way. Bruce tricks them into letting him hold it (yes, these guys are stupid) then, when they reach the pile of money, sets it on fire and runs. He meets back up with the others and they race for the dinghy, displaying more teamwork ™ when Lila twists her ankle and Todd and Cammi help her. They make it into the dinghy and sail off - by this time about half the island seems to be on fire, as they watch it burn as they row.
After only a few minutes, they are hailed by the captain of a fishing boat. Amazingly, Elizabeth is disappointed: "Part of her had wanted to row home." Rather you than me, Liz! The kids find out that the captain and first mate of the Island Dreamer were picked up unharmed a couple days back.
The twins are reunited with their parents and Steven when they reach the dock. We then receive the Moral of the Story: "They actually look like they’re in pretty good shape, don’t they?" The captain of the fishing boat stopped by and ruffled Jessica’s hair. "How’d you do it?"
The twins exchanged glances. "Teamwork," they told him at the exact same moment.’
And William Golding rotates extremely rapidly in his grave…
Hmmm, I was pretty disappointed by this one, as you may have guessed by now - Deadly Voyage was far far better! I think the ghostwriters’ automatic self-writing SV book machine might have needed a new plot cartridge by the time they reached this one. However, we do get a lead-in to #93 at the end, which I have read but remember absolutely nothing about. Is Jessica really psychic? ( Have we not established this?) Find out in Sweet Valley Twins 93, The Incredible Madame Jessica. Recap someone please!