Junior Prom #2, or SVH #142 The Big Night
So, this is my first recap so be gentle, readers! I apologize in advance if it doesn’t live up to the standards set forth by those who’ve come before me!
Okay, enough of the disclaimer…on with the snark!
Actually, the biggest thing to snark on is how this is SVH’s second junior prom. We all remember what happened last time, but one else in Sweet Valley does and I found myself yelling at the characters to remember the magical vodka and poor, dead Sam Woodruff.
First the cover.
Liz looks so smug and I just want to smack that look off of her face and Lila…well, the model/actress is trying too hard to portray Lila as Scarlet O’Hara and it ain’t working. But I give the girl a break because it’s probably impossible to capture how truly awesome Lila is. I think the look on Jess' face is the same one I had after I finished reading this book and Todd looks happy. I like the twin's dresses, but I don’t care for Lila’s. She should know that satin is like the wrinkliest of fabrics and it’s doing her midsection no favors, but she redeems herself because she’s pretty awesome in this books and that’s really what is important.
We open with Devon confronting Liz about why she’s at the beach to meet Todd. He admits that he set her up to see where her loyalties lay and she is hella pissed, which is understandable because Devon is an asshat. He tries to defend why he did it, by saying that he saw how upset she was when Todd brought Courtney to their prom committee meeting and he had to know if she was still in love with Todd or with him. She wonders, “Why couldn’t he have just asked her what she was feeling.” Duh, Liz, if you guys all did that then the books would only be about five pages long and this group would have nothing to make fun of! She tells Devon that she was there to meet Todd and end it with him and his game playing. Ironic, because she’s the biggest game player in this book! She really bitches him out (good for her!) and thinks that, “her sweet, loving Devon had turned out to be a major waste!” Girl, we tried to tell you! He sucks! But Liz caves when he apologizes in a husky voice. Every time someone’s voice is described as “husky” in this book (I counted 4 times) I think of Marty, a husky dog that I had growing up and I smile because he was awesome and then get sad because he’s dead. Thanks, Ghostwriter! Anyway. So, she tells him that she wants to go to prom with him and they hold hands and kiss and I barf and Devon must be wearing Eau D’Marty because his cologne has a husky scent. Liz might want to move away because Marty usually smelled like meat and cheetos. And then she thinks, “her junior prom was going to be perfect.” It can’t get much worse than the last one, my dear! Moving on.
Lila and Jessica are tanning by the pool and Jess even puts on sunscreen! Gasp! But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of tanning then? They skipped school so that they could have plenty of time to get ready for the prom and Lila is wearing a Rafael Bartucci bathing suit. I googled Rafael Bartucci and came up empty. They make fun of Liz for being a nerd and going to school and talk about how awesome they are and on page 9, we finally get our obligatory shoulder-length blond hair, blue-green eyes, looking identical on the outside, but being complete opposites on the inside and that Liz wears polo shirts and khakis. What is she, a pro golfer? We also get the background story on how Jessica and Lila put an ad in the paper for a prom date and ended up making a date with the same guy, Jordan, behind each other’s back.
Devon calls Jess and tells her to tell Liz that instead of meeting him at the beach, he wants her to go to Palomar House and meet him for dinner. Um, why doesn’t he act like a gentleman and pick her up at her house, like real prom dates are suppose to do? If my sister or I ever told our dad that we were meeting our prom date anywhere else than in our living room, my dad would lock us in our rooms and then yell to my mom about how chivalry is dead. And Devon’s rich so it’s not like he can’t spring for a freakin limo! After Devon calls, Jordan calls to tell Jess to pick him up and she agrees! Wha? The Jess I know and love would tell that “throaty” voiced Jordan to rent the most expensive limo ever and pick her fine ass up! And what does “throaty” even sound like?
The next few pages are about the twins getting ready and Jess has forgotten to tell Liz about Devon’s change of plans. She knows that she’s supposed to do something, but she can’t remember what it is. I guess Lila is hosting a pre-prom party. We get 4 parties in this book. I wonder if that’s a record. First there’s the pre-prom party at Lila’s, the prom, an after prom cruise, and a post prom brunch at Lila’s. I feel sorry for the servants at Fowler Crest, having to put together two parties in one weekend. Jess compliments Liz’s backless, lavender gown and says that Liz will, “knock Devon right off his motorcycle.” Yeah, because motorcycle accidents are SO hilarious! Jess even thinks that it would be cool to go to prom on a motorcycle. And risk helmet hair?
Ned yells up to them that he and Alice want to get some pictures before they leave and the twins think that pictures are unnecessary because how could they forget their prom and Jess even says, “It’s going to be a night to remember.” Ack! I think at this point, I threw the book down and had a moment for poor Sam. Dead and totally forgotten. Even Marty is remembered and he was a dog! What is even funnier is that right after Jess says that, the next paragraph starts with “Dressed to kill, Elizabeth…” Hahaha! Get it?! Because last junior prom she was arrested for killing someone. I swear, I think the ghostwriter is having a little fun with this and poking fun at the lack of continuity. So Liz is waiting at the beach for Devon and guess who shows up? Todd and his fists of justice! They sit together and talk about the good old times and it’s kind of boring and she wonders where Devon is.
Then we switch over to Jess, in her limo, getting all hot and bothered about Jordan. The limo pulls into his driveway and then another limo pulls up to. It’s Lila. They both see each other and realize that they’re both there to pick up Jordan so they race to the front door. He answers the door and he is nasty! Seriously, his description actually made me nauseous. He’s eating a hot dog and watching people eat hot dogs makes me sick to my stomach and the one that Jordan is eating is especially disgusting. I can’t even properly recap it because I just ate a candy bar and I want it to stay in my stomach, where it belongs! He basically acts like a tool and says that they’re morons, questions their friendship, and then slams the door. They yell at each other about what they did and I think they’re both kind of dumb. I mean, why can’t they go dateless? I went dateless to my junior prom and I had the best time. Better than my senior prom when I went with my boyfriend. Then Jess remembers the message she was suppose to give and feels bad that Liz is sitting at the beach, waiting for Devon.
At the beach, Liz and Todd are still waiting for Devon and Liz starts crying because she thinks she’s been stood up and Todd asks her to be his date. What about Courtney?! But they don’t care about her when there’s kissing to be done! Next!
Jessica is back in the limo and going to Palomar House to fess up to Devon. We get a nice description of the restaurant, but in my head I’m totally picturing Olive Garden for some reason. Maybe I just want a breadstick to go with my candy bar. Jess sees Devon and goes all weak in the knees and then decides to pretend to be Elizabeth so she doesn’t have to show up to Lila’s party without a date and then when they get to the prom, she’ll hand Devon over to Liz. What? Won’t Devon notice that Liz would be wearing a different dress? And what if Liz shows up to Lila’s? I read the series and know that she doesn’t, but Jess assumes that Liz will wait at the beach until it’s prom time. While Jess is planning the twin switch, Devon wonders if Elizabeth is still getting ready and that “girls took forever!” ASS! He talks to Maria Slater and her date, Tyler. It’s boring. Jess-As-Liz shows up and apologizes for being late since Jess forgot to give her the message. He’s all awed by her beauty. They skip dinner and head for Lila’s.
Lila’s! Yay! People are eating and laughing and have a good ol' time. Lila keeps avoiding the question of her date’s whereabouts. Maria Santelli’s dress is short and royal blue and Winston’s wearing a top hat. And I think I read that Olivia’s dress was lime green. I did a google search for lime green dress and this is the first thing I found.
I think the designer is a huge Dr. Seuss fan. Lila hides out in the pool house, thinking that Steven Wakefield would take her to the prom if he was available and I would love to see that! We get a little recap of the Inferno series with the Lila/Steven relationship. Then, Jess-As-Liz shows up in the pool house and tells Lila that she’s Jess-As-Liz until they get to the prom and then she’ll give Devon back to Liz. Lila thinks that’s a stupid plan. I think Lila is my new best friend. They both think that it will be fun to steal people’s dates once they get to the prom and Lila has her eye on Penny’s date.
Jess-As-Liz and Devon are hanging out at Lila’s and Maria Slater waves, but Jess-As-Liz kind of ignores her and Devon and Maria are like, “Huh?” And you’d think that Jess has done this twin switch for so long that she’d realize that when she’s pretending to be Liz, she needs to pretend to be friends with Liz’s friends. DUH! She waves to some jocks and Devon still doesn’t think anything of it. Man, he is stupid! And they pulled a twin switch on him before so he knows what they’re capable of! And then Jess-As-Liz really blows her cover when she turns her back on Enid. I think I read somewhere in the book that Enid is wearing an emerald green dress. I wore an emerald green dress to my junior prom so that’s the dress I pictured in my head and it makes me like Enid a tiny bit. Devon calls Jess-As-Liz out on her being a shitty best friend, but again, she blows it off. Then she starts chatting it up with cheerleaders and Devon thinks that Liz must be doing a story on school spirit. HAHAHAH! Oh Devon, you crack me up! And Winston comments that, “You only have one junior prom.” Not if you attend Sweet Valley High! Sigh, I need to be like everyone else in Sweet Valley and forget about Prom #1 or I’ll never get through his book!
So Devon starts to wonder why Jess-As-Liz keeps talking to cheerleaders and Lila and ignoring Maria and Enid. He asks if she had a fight with Maria and Enid and Jess-As-Liz is like, ‘Umm…yeah, that's it!” Everyone starts to leave to go to the prom and Courtney Kane shows up and from her description, she sounds hot and I imagine she's Dr. Kimberly Shaw Mancini from Melrose Place and that makes me like her. She sees Jess-As-Liz and wants to know where Todd is because he stood her up. Everyone’s like, “IDK” and Lila suggest that Courtney go to the prom to see if Todd is there and then she can confront him. Lila puts two and two together and thinks that since Elizabeth and Todd are both missing, they might be together! *Clutching my pearls.* But Lila is loving the drama as much as I am.
On their way to the prom, Devon talks some shit about Jessica and she has to suck it up and take it. Ha! Jess-As-Liz feeds his ego a little and I want more Courtney and Lila. Devon hopes that Jess-As-Liz will write him poem and read it to him on the beach. HAHAHAHAHA! I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes. Jess-As-Liz decides that she’s not going to give Devon back to her sister after all. Niiiice.
Elizabeth and Todd show up to the prom and it looks like they’re early. They talk about how the prom committee did a great job with the decorations and Liz feels bad for Courtney getting dumped. They chit chat with the captain of the ship (the post prom cruise) he is way too into Liz and Todd. They start to slow dance and get all mushy and then they hear someone yell Elizabeth’s name and it’s Courtney, with Lila, Jess-As-Liz, and Devon. Dun dun dunnnnnnnn. Everyone looks confused and then Courtney runs out, but Liz is more concerned with why her twin is with Devon. Jess has some ‘splaining to do and drags Liz away to tell her all about the forgotten message and how she pretended to be Liz so that Devon didn’t think he had been stood up. Interesting that Jess is more concerned with Devon not thinking that he was stood up than her own twin sister! Liz is, understandably, pissed and blames Jess for running her prom. Again. No one’s died yet so it can’t be that ruined! Jess, ever the sociopathic points out that Liz looked like she was enjoying her dance with Todd and Liz admits that she can’t decide between them. Jess suggests that she continue to be Jess-As-Liz and be Devon’s date and Liz can be with Todd. Liz folds like an umbrella and tells Jess that she’s not allowed to kiss Devon anymore that night.
While the twins are plotting, Lila is distracting Devon and making small talk, but he is annoyed. As Jess-As-Liz shows up and starts to walk away with Devon, Lila takes her aside and wants to know what’s up. Jessica tells her that she’s pretending to be Liz for the rest of the night. Lila is pissed and jealous; marveling at how everything always ends up perfect for the Wakefields and it’s not fair. I wonder what she plans to do about it!
As Devon dances with Jess-As-Liz, he notices that her perfume is different. I wouldn’t think that detail would matter much in a twin switch since girls have several perfumes that they wear. He asks Jess-As-Liz why Jessica is with Todd. She mentions that they have a history together and Devon is disgusted and talks more shit about Jessica. I love that! Jess-As-Liz gets mad and defends Jessica as the “best sister in the world.” I think my sister would disagree with that. Devon still thinks that Jess sucks and I still think that Devon sucks. He tells her that she’s beautiful, but she can’t hear him over the music, so he repeats it; louder and at that moment, the music cuts off so everyone hears him. That happened to me once except I said, “My eyes are blue” and someone yelled at me to get over myself. It was kind of funny. Well, Devon is embarrassed and gets laughed at and Elizabeth hears him and freaks. She drags Todd to a gazebo to make goo goo eyes at each other. Todd asks her why Jessica is with Devon and Liz is like, “I guess he likes her better!” Todd calls Devon an idiot. Right on, Todd! They feel bad for Courtney getting stood up, but not bad enough to do anything about it. Then Maria, Tyler, Enid, Blubber, Ken, and Olivia join them in the gazebo and Maria totally knows something up with the twins. They talk a little bit about the Battle of the Junior Classes. Snore.
Courtney is hiding in the bushes, listening to the group in the gazebo talk. She is seriously mad, you guys. She demands vengeance!
Jess-As-Liz is dancing with Devon and having a great time when Lila drags her into the bathroom. She’s miserable. She tried to steal Penny’s date, but had no luck. Poor Lila. I’ll be your date, but I’m not putting out! They talk about the twin switch they pulled and then Lila leaves in a huff. It turns out that Courtney is hiding in the bathroom and overhears everything! Yes, you know this shit is gonna be good! She decides to enlist Lila in her plan to thwart the twins. Most awesome duo ever!
Devon is watching people dance and gets mad at Jessica and Todd for being so into each other in front of his precious Elizabeth. He thinks that Jess needs to be more considerate of her sister’s feelings. He doesn’t really know Jessica, does he? Courtney comes up to him and asks him if he’s seen Jessica. He’s like, “How should I know?” and she says, “You oughta know Devon. You’ve been dancing with her all night!” Oh SNAP! Courtney tells him everything and he starts to put it all together, including how Jess-As-Liz spent more time with Lila than with Enid. He then sees Elizabeth, Todd and their posse enter the prom and Elizabeth is being all friendly with her friends and realizes that he’s been with Jess all night and that Liz was with Todd. He’s mad, you guys!
Lila is miserable and thinking of going home when Courtney comes up to her to bitch about the twins and Todd. Courtney must be a member of
1bruce1because she tells Lila that, “You’re just as beautiful and talented as she is. But she’s always in the limelight when you really deserve to be.” Not a truer word has been spoken. So, Lila is in on anything Court’s got planned.
Back at the prom, Ken grooves to a Rolling Stones song. Aw, Ken, I love you. Enid and Blubber dance and Todd requests his and Liz’s song. As they dance, Devon comes up and asks to speak to Jessica! Yesss! Todd is all, “This isn’t Jessica, silly!” And Devon is all, “Um, you sure because my date has been calling herself Elizabeth. So that means you’re with the other one.” Todd is like, “WTF, Liz?” Liz is totally busted and they both yell at her and she cries and runs off. Courtney eats it all up.
Jess has been talking to Jade Wu outside, oblivious to what just happened to her sister. When she goes back to the prom, everyone is silent and the band plays a funeral march. They must be hip to the proms of SVH. Lila tells her what just happened and that Liz is crying her perfect eyes out in a golf cart shed. Devon gives Jess a death stare and she runs out to take care of Liz. Out in the pool house, Liz is being comforted by Enid and Maria. Lila comes in and says that Jessica is in the golf cart shed and wants to talk to Liz. Liz says that tonight will “go down as the worst night of my life.” Really Liz? The worst? Worse than the last junior prom SVH had? Liz, Enid, and Maria go meet Jess in the infamous golf cart shed and Courtney locks the girls in it and runs away.
Meanwhile, Lila is trying to convince Devon to go the after prom cruise. She tells him that Elizabeth is on the boat and wants to talk to him about everything that happened. That seems to get him onboard. Lila has a moment of guilt, but ignores it. Then she sees Ken and Olivia and enlists Ken’s help to get Todd on the boat. Ken thinks that Todd is “too smart to do something stupid.” Oh Ken, you so silly! Olivia is wonders what Lila is up to.
The golf cart shed posse are hanging out, being locked up. They’re upset and think Courtney’s dangerous. Jess says that’s she’s a psycho. Takes one to know one, Jessica dear! Maria suggests they try to drive one of the golf carts through the door and Liz imagines them getting arrested. Imagine that, Liz, getting arrested after prom?! Oh wait, you did already. And Maria is kind of stupid if she thinks that they can drive a GOLF CART through a shed. Tyler and Blubber show up and try to get them out. Tyler runs for help since he’s smart and Blubber decides to knock the door down. His brain must be made of blubber! That never works. Believe me, I’ve tried…after a night of heavy drinking.
Devon is on the boat, wondering where Liz is and refers to Jessica as the evil twin. Ha! Not quite, Devon. He watches Todd board the boat and thinks that it’s good sign that Liz isn’t with him. He talks to Lila and see Courtney get on the board and wink at Lila.
Tyler has found a janitor to unlock the shed and free the girls. They race up to the boat, but it starts to pull away. On the boat, Courtney is flirting with Todd. He’s such a slut. They walk about the boat and check out other couples making out. Sick. She takes Todd to a deck that’s kind of hidden and sits on the railing. She tells Todd to live a little and he sits on the railing with her.
On the dock, Elizabeth notices some speedboats and they all climb in and Liz drives it near to the boat. As they get closer, Liz sees Todd and Courtney on the railing and Todd leans in for a kiss and then Todd is falling into the water. Earning her St. Liz nickname, she dives in to save him and see that Courtney is looking over the edge of the boat and smiling and then she rips off her wig! Just kidding, but that would've been awesome. Courtney is one sick bitch and I love her!
Devon is on the boat and getting bored, waiting for Liz. He decides to go find Todd and Lila follows. They see Courtney push Todd off the railing. Everyone starts freaking out and Devon is like, “Courtney did it!” She gets carried off and Lila admits that Liz and Jess are locked in that damned golf cart shed. And I’m really getting tired of typing out golf cart shed. The crew members get a speedboat out in the water and Devon and Lila get on it to go back and rescue the precious Wakefield twins and their friends.
Liz is still trying to save Todd and then grabs him and pulls him into a rescue boat that the cruise ship lowered. He’s alive and he thanks Liz for saving him, but that he doesn’t want to see her anymore. Burn! He’s done with the games she plays and I’m proud of Todd for putting her in her place. When they’re all in the rescue boat, they see another speedboat drive away and Devon and Lila are in it and Lila is hugging Devon. We know it’s because she’s scared and upset over what Courtney did, but Liz and Jess don’t know that and think that Lila is with Devon now. Psh, she’s too cool for him.
And thus endth my recap. I hope you all enjoyed and if you’re waiting to see what happens next, read about it here!