SVU THRILLER Love and Murder
Hello I am new to this community but not to sweet valley.
I have always hated Liz and adored Lila and Bruce and Steven. Glad to see there are many who agree with me :)
LOVE AND MURDER.
The cover sucks. Lila looks like the mum from the munsters and the guy is just scary. Also the blood looks like
tomato ketchup
Type your cut contents here.
SVU Super Thriller : LOVE AND MURDER(two things that seem forever connected in SV)
AKA
LILA GOES NUTSO
Okay, firstly I have read this book FAR too often on account of it being one of the only SV books in my village library.
The 1st thing I would like to point out is that the plot of this book is almost a direct lift from the film ‘Dead Again’ starring Kenneth Branagh/Emma Thompson. I also advise fans of this book to check it out. Very good.
I don’t know if anyone’s mentioned Sweet Valley’s love of stealing plotlines before but I’ll just mention some that I found funny
Feel free to comment with more.
SVU THE ROOMMATE = Bridget Fonda/ J.J Leigh SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
SVT CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ELIZABETH= A WONDERFUL LIFE
SVU KISS OF THE VAMPIRE = Dracula/Interview with the Vampire…..
I’m sure there are many, many more.
But anyway, on with the recap
The book begins with Miss Lila in an Art lecture, thinking about painting her nails (well at least it’s slightly artistic )
I was never really sure what Lila studied until this book. I though she just hung around the sorority and threw parties….wait, that’s jess.
She has her obligatory Tisiano flashback (does anyone know how they met?) and wonders why Jess isn’t there to console her…like jess could console anyone.
A few minutes later she is snapped out of her thoughts by the arrival of one new Teaching Assistant Damon Price…who is apparently an authority on this period…what period? I spaced out.
Damon is a tall, striking man in his early twenties, dark haired and ‘tortoiseshell-rimmed glasses that only partly disguised the classically handsome features of his face.”
Damn those glasses.
Luckily though he removes them in the next sentence to reveal ‘clear, quizzical eyes’
That ‘immediately connect with hers.’
Of course they do, she’s Lila.
Lila thinks he’s hot but has a feeling she’s seen him somewhere before. As she stares at him she knocks over her bag and has a blush attack. Damon (from here on known as D.P) comes over and has a James Bond moment: ‘Price….Damon Price…’ he then tells her she better remember his name its going to be in the quiz.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Throughout this exchange Lila has acted VERY SHY and UNLIKE LILA. She’s also really pleased that despite the fact he acted very assholey to her…he’s still staring at her. Creepy.
Meanwhile Jess is skipping class (does the girl ever go…surely she would have been kicked out by now? Although SVU doesn’t seem to have any standards…William White, Celine anyone? I don’t think they interview the students J)
She’s also lying on the grass right outside the lecture hall…I guess she’s not afraid to been seen by the teacher then.
‘She poked her nose back into the nice, trashy novel she had brought with her,”
Firstly….she must be reading Sweet Valley.
Secondly……………………………….JESSICA READS?
Lila comes rushing over all silky haired and blushing porcelain complexion. Jessica immediately thinks her friend has been the kissing the old professor to get better grades. Yeah jess, only YOU would do that. And maybe Liz would.
Lila informs Jess of ‘the most incredibly gorgeous guys I have ever seen in my life’
Seems there are a lot of those around in Sweet Valley.
Lila has already flipped the switch and tells jess that she and D.P are ‘connected’.
Jess can see stars shimmering in Lila’s eyes. Literally.
Jess reminds Lila of the existence of one Bruce Patman, her BOYFRIEND…who is currently in Japan?
Lila dismisses this information stating that ‘When you connect with a guy like this you have to see it through….”
Then she exits the scene.
Jess thinks Lila’s sudden infatuation is weird (because that never happens to her!) and she wonders where Lila’s ‘cool and wary’ personality has gone.
So do I.
She then murmurs schemingly to herself about how she will go to class next Wednesday and steal D.P from Lila.
You keep telling yourself that Jess.
In the time since her Art Lecture Lila has turned into a crazy stalker and phones people to find out D.P’s number.
While doing this she thinks ‘I’m crazy’.
Yes Lila, at this point…you are. And it’s only gonna go downhill from here. She gets his number and leaves a weird message about how she is doing research on Monet and tells him she wants to meet one-on-one to discuss it.
She ends the message with the creepy line ‘Goodbye Damon, for now’
She then looks sadly at pictures of Jess, Tisiano, Bruce and…….Isabella? And we are informed again that she feels as if she had known D.P for a long, long, long, long, long, time.
Cut to D.P who is drinking his troubles away at the SVU pub. Oh no, wait, he’s only at the pub to prepare his lecture notes…..because the PUB is a good place to do that?
He can’t concentrate on his work and doodles aimlessly.
The doodle turns out to be of Lila and he looks at it as if ‘remembering a far-away dream’
Back to Miss Fowler and she is wondering why Damon hasn’t called. I am wondering why she expects him to. Is it normal for TA’s to call back students who leave them scary messages?
Perhaps in Sweet Valley.
Meanwhile Bruce has sent her a letter from Japan. And a photograph of him looking cool on a rock in a Japanese garden, flanked by two Japanese guys.
Lila reads the letter. In it Bruce informs her that when he eats octopus he thinks of her. How sweet.
It’s so sweet in fact that Lila can’t believe the letter is from Bruce. But it is…and he loves you Li, and you guys are the best couple…so DON’T CHEAT ON HIM…ahem.
She remembers that Bruce is arrogant and has ‘intense good looks’…but she can’t get D.P’s floppy hair and quizzical eyes out of her mind.
Cut to D.P who is walking through the hallways of SVU with Prof. Heckerman who wisely warns him to ‘keep your eyes off those pretty young girls’ AKA LILA FOWLER.
D.P goes into his office and hangs up a picture of clouds. But the clouds aren’t only clouds. Oh no. They form the face of a beautiful girl. And the face looks like Lila. D.P turns on his answering machine and gets Lila’s message.
He then worries about what to say when he calls her back but ‘the voices in his head confused him’
Yup, Lila…you’ve clearly made a stellar choice here.
Cut to Jessica at the Theta house who is looking for Lila, like everyone else there. She bitches a bit about how unfair it is that Lila was RECRUITED by the Thetas and she, Jess Wakefield dammit, had to pledge.
Can I just say that the lack of dizzyLizzie so far has been fantastic!
Lila eventually turns up and suggests they throw and Masked Ball for their fundraiser (Something about a soup-kitchen suggested by Alexenid….typical).
Jess is pissed because Lila always makes her feel ‘second class’.
Lila accidentally drops Bruce’s letter as she leaves and Jess picks it up and pockets it…using it most horribly later in the book.
Jess is a freak.
D.P is waiting by the phone for Li to phone him back. She does. They arrange to meet for dinner the following day. After he hangs up Damon kisses his desk.
Um…normal?
Cut To Lila and Isabella discussing the Masked ball. Isabella wants to be a ‘fascinating gypsy princess.’ Lila informs her she already is.
Lila debates over whether or not to call D.P, stating that she has read ‘The Rules’. I can only assume this is some rulebook passed around the SVU campus on how to properly conduct a relationship/cheat on your significant other.
Damon calls and Lila feel ‘intense emotion’
Cut to Jess who is lounging in her dorm-room of squalor. Dizzy Lizzie is away somewhere…I don’t care where. Jess is happy about it. She cries because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Boo-hoo jess, I’m sure you can steal someone else’s.
Isabella calls and discusses how Lila has gone up and over the wall about D.P. Jessica spends the night formulating plans to grab him for herself.
D.P goes to Lila’s to pick her up, annoyed because his hair sticks to his glasses. Lila lives in an off campus house ( for some reason he is surprised by this?). For a few minutes D.P spaces out as he muses about how refined and beautiful Lila is. Somehow Lila winds up getting D.P to take her to the most expensive restaurant…he frets because he’s poor but agrees anyway.
Guess who will end up footing the bill?
D.P is surprised Lila was able to get a table at the last minute. Lila’s answer :
“I’m a Fowler”
Of course. Duh.
Lila pays. Feels weird about it. D.P feels guilty. Angst.
During dinner Lila tells him about Tisiano’s death. D.P sweats and feels happy about ‘another human being’s untimely death’
Lila says dead husband was much older than her. Like, how much? 25? 35? 45? Michael Douglas old?
Again they feel that they have known each other a long, long, long, time.
They leave and Lila agrees to go to his place for coffee. Woah there Li, please think about poor Bruce. (sheesh…’poor’ and ‘Bruce’ just don’t sound right.)
Lila calls Bruce ‘predictable’ in her mind and then makes out with D.P on his ratty couch. I don’t know if they do it. Probably. Everyone does except Liz.
They muse about how they already know each other’s favourite colours, food etc and D.P decides to show Lila the cloud picture. D.P climbs a ladder to get the book with the picture in from his shelf. However he stumbles or something and the book flies at Lila and knocks her out.
She wakes up to D.P’s soft voice and soft kiss and decides that he is ‘the first man to ever truly understand her needs’.
What Lila, you need to be knocked out with a book?
-Dream sequence-
She is a lady moving through a party. People are calling out to her and gushing over her wedding. Her name is FLORA. Snort.
She sees her husband called THEODORE…(was that the name of one of the Wakefield ancestors??) He’s hot and his green eyes glimmer. Just like D.P…but are they quizzical?
Theo and Flora are mushy-mushy for a few pages and then, after embracing her husband mushily Flora slips and falls down the stairs……LILA WAKES UP SCREAMING
-Back in the real world, ahem-
Lila is confused by her dream and has trouble distinguishing between it and reality. This is going to become a BIG problem for her. She wonders why D.P hasn’t called her because its been like what, a few hours since she left him?
After a long while musing in front of her mirror Lila reaches the conclusion that she and D.P are ‘meant to be together’.
Cut to D.P who is in the middle preparing a lecture and simultaneously angsting about hitting Lila with a book. Who says men can’t multitask?
Lila enters and his heart aches. Damon apologises for not calling and they make out.
Jess enters and snaps “Well, excuuuuse me…”
Obviously other people are not allowed to kiss in her presence. Unless she is allowed to join in.
Jess comes down and bitches and mentions Bruce. Lila dismisses Bruce again and D.P asks,
“Lila, this Jessica Wakefield (Aka blonde sociopath) claims to be your best friend?”
(Go Damon!)
Lila states that Jessica ’has troubles of her own that make her want to hurt the people closest to her’. How true. Revealed jess! Now go deal with your own crazy shit and stop stirring Lila’s!
D.P then berates Jess for skipping class so often. It’s about time someone pulled her up on that! Jess slinks off, HUMILIATED!
D.P and Lila swear undying love and make out again.
Lila spends the lecture musing over D.P’s mysterious phone. Which he said he didn’t have…but he does! FISHY!
D.P shows the students a painting and Lila has a minor freak-out. She saw that painting in her dream!
Lila later confides about the painting to D.P and he ’finds it hard to believe’. Lila’s eyes mist. He shows her the cloud painting and Lila turns into a trembling OOC wreck. Damon tells her that she is the woman he has been forever searching for because she looks like the cloud-woman. Lila is afraid (maybe she doesn’t want to look like a cloud?)
They find out the guy that painted it was called ’Theodore’ LE GASP!
Lila freaks out because that was the man in her dream but resolves not to tell this do D.P because she doesn’t want him to think she’s crazy. Of course not.
Cut to jess who’s throwing a tantrum in her room. She’s angry at Lila for letting D.P diss her because of the ’hours and hours she had stood at Lila’s side during times of trouble’. Sure Jess, the selective memory is obviously cutting out all the times you screwed her over as well.
Like you’re just about to.
Bitch.
So Jessica the horrible person writes to Bruce using the address from Lila’s letter and tells him that Lila is cheating with D.P (which she is but I still feel jess is a total bitch for doing this).
-Dream sequence-
Flora and Theo are throwing a fancy dress party. Some guy has come as Charlie Chaplin. A loving couple have come dressed as two halves of a painting. I guess that will be the dream Todd/Tom and Liz then?
Theo has grown a wild and mysterious goatee, also he looks tired.
Flora mushes with Wild Theo for a while and then runs into a nosy reporter (Liz?) she questions Flora about Theo’s family fortune, which is apparently slipping away.
Flora denies this and the reporter snipes that Theo is ’losing his artistic touch’ also she mentions that Flora and Theo’s marriage is ’on the rocks’. This is news to Flora who breaks down when Theo rescues her from the reporter.
Theo blows a gasket because she’s been talking to the media and reveals that he has indeed ’squandered his inheritance’. He’s been borrowing money from his brother and states that Thomas loved to watch him ’on his knees, begging’ . heh…heheh.
Theo yells that is art isn’t selling and Flora tries to placate him.
He throws a book at her head!
OMG!
-Reality-
Lila wakes up screaming and immediately gets prank called (the kind where no-one answers). She struggles with the difference between dream/reality and realises that both Theo and D.P have hit her with a book.
She decides to go to the !!Library!! To research the painter Theodore Grey.
Cut to D.P who is talking to the cloud picture and pretending its Lila. Whatever floats your boat, man!
He takes out a book about Theodore Grey. It’s called ‘A VISION OF MADNESS’. Nice.
All the paintings resemble Lila…even though they are of trees and stuff. He turns to one that is an actual person. It looks like Lila but the painting has a crude slash mark through the neck like she had been beheaded. This makes him want to call Lila.
He thinks that he remembers things from a long, long, long, long time ago.
At the !!Library!! Lila finds a book on Theodore and sees a picture of him. Is it any surprise at this point that he looks like D.P? She also learns he was married to a woman named FLORA! Shock!
She goes to see D.P who is shocked when he sees her because she is ‘pinched and pale’ and her hair hangs in ‘limp clumps’. (WTF Lila…pull yourself together!)
Lila tells him about the dreams and sobs that she is afraid and whimpers and totally falls apart on his floor. Her lips ‘shiver with agitation’.
D.P thinks she is a nut job.
Lila starts confusing reality and saying Theo is D.P and vice-versa. D.P fiercely tells her to cut it out and Lila literally collapses on the floor in tears. D.P continues to be unsympathetic. Finally Lila regains her cool and leaves.
-Dream sequence-
Flora wakes in bed to discover Theo is gone. She hears a crash and goes to find him. She finds him in his studio trashing his paintings. He looks totally mental and gives her an ‘evil wide-mouthed smile’ and then slashes the neck of the lovely portrait he did of her (The one D.P found in the book) and drips fake blood on it.
He comes toward her with a knife…..
-reality-
Lila wakes up and is disoriented. She wonders is D.P think she is insane. She gets another prank call. This time the caller creepily says “Liiiiila, Liiila…”
Lila thinks it’s D.P and hangs up. She thinks D.P is sick for pranking her like that. She muses on the possibility that D.P is such a Theo fan that he is trying to duplicate his life.
-dream sequence-
Theo is chasing Flora. When he finally catches her he tells her that his studio has been wrecked. She says he did it. He doesn’t remember.
He sees the ruined portrait and decides it’s cool and he wants it to be exhibited as his latest work. Flora cries.
-reality-
D.P tries to read a novel but every time he turns the page he thinks about Lila. (Maybe he’s reading Lila’s new Flame?) He thinks how he is a very closed off person and can’t deal with emotion. He wonders why Lila has gone berserk and wonders if she is clear on the difference between dreams and reality.
He looks at the painting with the tear in the neck and muses ‘How could anyone damage such a beautiful neck?’
Meanwhile Lila is hurrying through campus dressed in a ‘Hooded Sweatshirt’ and her hair is messy…..SHOCK! She’s off to the !!Library!! Again. Will the real Lila Fowler please stand up?
She finds and image of the neck-slash portrait and learns that the painting was a ‘bizarre foreshadowing of the personal tragedy Theo endured shortly after it was shown.’
Lila gasps and wonders what the tragedy was….like it’s hard to guess! She goes to the Librarian and asks for news articles on Theo Grey. She finds Flora’s obituary!!! And a photo of Flora and Theo which proves they looked exactly like them!!
The article says that Flora suffered fatal wounds about the neck and Theo was placed under arrest. Neighbours alerted police after quarrelling was heard in the house.
Lila thinks Theo murdered Flora, she also thinks history is repeating itself and wants to warn D.P.
She goes to D.P’s house looking like a crazy person and he notes that her normal voice has been replaced by ‘high-pitched shrieks’.
Lila babbles about what she has found and her dreams and history repeating itself. D.P comes to the conclusion that she is ‘emotionally disturbed’. He as good as tells her so and they get into a big fight. Then (And here comes the super shocker moment) D.P screams at her ‘What do you want from me, FLORA!”
Somewhere Kenneth Branagh and his team of ‘Dead again’ writers are preparing a lawsuit. Or, y’know, not caring because they would never read anything as preposterous as Sweet Valley…
D.P apologises but Lila spots the slash-neck painting on the wall behind him and asks how he could like something that a killer made. D.P tells her he has been studying the paintings for years. Lila tells him he is demented (she’s one to talk). She runs off before history can repeat and he murders her too!!!
D.P talks to an imaginary Theo about leaving, afraid he is becoming a ‘vicious person’. We don’t know if he leaves or not….yet….
-Dream-
Flora and Theo are going to a party. He seems to be in a good mood. It’s the opening of his new work, he hasn’t shown her the paintings. She is nervous. When she sees them she feels sick. They are all of her (and one of her horse) with body parts slashed/amputated.
Everyone there loves them…Flora’s heart breaks.
-reality-
Lila gets another creepy ‘Liiiiila’ phone call. She slams the phone down. It rings again and this time the voice calls her Flora. She determines the caller MUST be Damon because he was the only other person who knew about Flora.
Ever. In the entire world.
-Dream-
Flora is walking through gorgeous house which she doesn’t like because it was the money from the sales of those weird paintings that paid for it. She is going to get some milk but in the kitchen she encounters Theo who has flipped again and is now behaving like ‘a wild animal’.
Theo throws her across the room and accuses her of stealing his ideas: “You took my ideas! Then you took the money people gave you for my ideas and kept it for yourself.”
Flora is all WTF and he tells her that she owes him her life.
-reality-
Lila wakes up and cries over how D.P treated her the previous night, deciding that it is over between the two of them. She gets a message from D.P saying he is sorry and he’s leaving town for a few days.
The phone rings again and it’s the weird voice. It knows her boyfriend has left and states that no one can help her now.
Lila still thinks it’s D.P….
Cut to D.P who we find hasn’t left town but is instead looking for Lila. He apologises to her and they go for coffee.
At the café Lila notices that his normally quizzical eyes are DULL. His normally lively voice is FLAT and his hair looks weird.
Despite that she tells him about the weird phone calls and he blames them on a frat boy. She points out that the caller knew D.P was leaving town and then reveals that she has been out buying a caller id machine.
D.P gets kind of mad and tells her he’s sure it’s a frat boy and caller Id’s are a waste of time. He takes her hand and Lila realises his normally warm hands are COLD. Also she notices his DULL eyes again.
She wants to leave but D.P kisses her. For some reason the she doesn’t feel anything when he does (before she felt fireworks) and she notices a SCAR on his face that she didn’t ever notice before.
She tells him there is too much she doesn’t know about him and leaves.
As she zooms off in her car she thinks how the D.P she just met was almost like a STRANGER and wonders if he knocker her out with the book on purpose. She thinks about his fascination with Theo’s work and realises that D.P only picked her out of the crowd because she looked like Flora.
She gets home and the phone starts ringing scarily so she drives off again to seek help and solace from…………………………Jessica??
Jessica only agrees to let her in after Lila has agreed to take her on a spa trip later (some friend).
Lila tells her the crazy story and of course Jess believes her right away. Jessica tells her she can stay in the Wakefield room and borrow her stuff…and Liz’s too.
To cheer Lila up Jess dyes Lila’s hair mango (????)
Lila consents to giving Jess a Marilyn Monroe makeover and goes off to order some Chinese.
A while later Jess realises Lila hasn’t come back and starts to panic. She looks out the window and sees D.P scuttling in the bushes. Lila comes back and muses over D.P for a while. Jess tells her to get over it. Lila says she can’t figure out why he’s so different from when she met him.
Then she thinks about Bruce and realises that actually he is the one for her. Not D.P.
Welcome back, Lila.
-dream-
Flora is struggling up from where Theo last threw her. Theo tries to strangle her and Flora realises his hands are rough (This is notable because apparently Theo’s hands were always soft and manicured).
-reality-
Lila wakes up screaming ‘Damon why are you trying to kill me?”
Jess comforts her and Lila realises that the dreams always continue from the previous point. Lila tells her that Flora had noticed a difference in Theo and Jess guesses that it might not have been Theo that killed her.
They decide to go to the !!Library!! and research.
When they get there Jess wonders how Lila knows so much about the library (because she’s been living there 24/7 jess, having minor panic attacks over Theo). They find out that although Flora suffered neck wounds she actually died of a heart attack.
Lila says ‘I know he killed her’.
Jessica suggests they go and see a hypnotist.
Lila goes under and dreams of Flora, Theo and the crazy paintings. She wakes up and the hypnotist tells her she was Flora and was with Theo (basically everything she already knew) and the hypnotist tells her she was reincarnated and that misdeeds that happen in a past life are always avenged in a future one. So instead of D.P killing Lila, Lila might kill D.P.
Lila leaves and Jess talks to the hypnotist for a while before rushing out when she hears Lila scream. D.P is outside in full on crazy mode, telling Lila she ‘loved his kisses’ and asking why she doesn’t talk to him.
Jess rushes out and rescues Lila.
In the car Lila tells Jess that she just wants to get D.P out of her life for good and focus on Bruce.
Jess remembers that she freakishly sent Bruce a letter telling him Lila was cheating and feels stupid.
Lila wants to call Bruce later.
Jessica guiltily confesses what she did and Lila blows a gasket. She tells Jessica to get out the car and then zooms off. Jessica goes to find her jeep so she can follow.
Lila gets a message from Bruce telling her that he forgives her and he still loves her. Yey!!
Lila gets one of those creepy D.P messages that says he is coming to find her. Then he crashes dramatically through her window and rips her phone out of the wall saying: “Floora, its Theodore!!”
-dream-
Flora is dying and sees two Theodore’s fighting. She wonders why.
-reality-
Jessica is zooming to the rescue why berating herself for ever being mean to Lila. She pulls up at Lila’s and sees D.P banging at the door, shouting for Lila to let him in.
Jessica confronts him and he says “You don’t understand, that wasn’t me!”
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Crazy D.P has put Lila in some type of trap involving a knife stuck in a dishwasher. Basically if she moves forward she gets stabbed and if she moves backward she gets stabbed. He is also calling her Flora.
He moans that he never got to go to good schools or travel the world or have a beautiful woman like Lila (like sane D.P did).
Lila remembers the two Theo’s from her dream and realises that D.P really did leave town and this must be his crazy twin. She screams.
Outside Real D.P knocks jess out the way and breaks into the house. He fights with crazy twin while Jess rescues Lila. Jessica smashes a Cuisinart (does anyone know what that is?) over crazy D.P’s head. Crazy D.P slides onto the dishwasher knife and dies.
At the end we learn that the crazy D.P was Dylan, Damon’s twin brother who was crazy (surprise, surprise). Also we learn that Theo had a crazy twin who killed Flora.
D.P tells Lila and jess about Dylan (who was some kind of artistic genius that went nuts) and says he must have escaped from his institution.
Lila and D.P decide to break up and Lila remembers Bruce again, right at the very end.
Please forgive any typos!!
I have always hated Liz and adored Lila and Bruce and Steven. Glad to see there are many who agree with me :)
LOVE AND MURDER.
The cover sucks. Lila looks like the mum from the munsters and the guy is just scary. Also the blood looks like
tomato ketchup
Type your cut contents here.
SVU Super Thriller : LOVE AND MURDER(two things that seem forever connected in SV)
AKA
LILA GOES NUTSO
Okay, firstly I have read this book FAR too often on account of it being one of the only SV books in my village library.
The 1st thing I would like to point out is that the plot of this book is almost a direct lift from the film ‘Dead Again’ starring Kenneth Branagh/Emma Thompson. I also advise fans of this book to check it out. Very good.
I don’t know if anyone’s mentioned Sweet Valley’s love of stealing plotlines before but I’ll just mention some that I found funny
Feel free to comment with more.
SVU THE ROOMMATE = Bridget Fonda/ J.J Leigh SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
SVT CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ELIZABETH= A WONDERFUL LIFE
SVU KISS OF THE VAMPIRE = Dracula/Interview with the Vampire…..
I’m sure there are many, many more.
But anyway, on with the recap
The book begins with Miss Lila in an Art lecture, thinking about painting her nails (well at least it’s slightly artistic )
I was never really sure what Lila studied until this book. I though she just hung around the sorority and threw parties….wait, that’s jess.
She has her obligatory Tisiano flashback (does anyone know how they met?) and wonders why Jess isn’t there to console her…like jess could console anyone.
A few minutes later she is snapped out of her thoughts by the arrival of one new Teaching Assistant Damon Price…who is apparently an authority on this period…what period? I spaced out.
Damon is a tall, striking man in his early twenties, dark haired and ‘tortoiseshell-rimmed glasses that only partly disguised the classically handsome features of his face.”
Damn those glasses.
Luckily though he removes them in the next sentence to reveal ‘clear, quizzical eyes’
That ‘immediately connect with hers.’
Of course they do, she’s Lila.
Lila thinks he’s hot but has a feeling she’s seen him somewhere before. As she stares at him she knocks over her bag and has a blush attack. Damon (from here on known as D.P) comes over and has a James Bond moment: ‘Price….Damon Price…’ he then tells her she better remember his name its going to be in the quiz.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Throughout this exchange Lila has acted VERY SHY and UNLIKE LILA. She’s also really pleased that despite the fact he acted very assholey to her…he’s still staring at her. Creepy.
Meanwhile Jess is skipping class (does the girl ever go…surely she would have been kicked out by now? Although SVU doesn’t seem to have any standards…William White, Celine anyone? I don’t think they interview the students J)
She’s also lying on the grass right outside the lecture hall…I guess she’s not afraid to been seen by the teacher then.
‘She poked her nose back into the nice, trashy novel she had brought with her,”
Firstly….she must be reading Sweet Valley.
Secondly……………………………….JESSICA READS?
Lila comes rushing over all silky haired and blushing porcelain complexion. Jessica immediately thinks her friend has been the kissing the old professor to get better grades. Yeah jess, only YOU would do that. And maybe Liz would.
Lila informs Jess of ‘the most incredibly gorgeous guys I have ever seen in my life’
Seems there are a lot of those around in Sweet Valley.
Lila has already flipped the switch and tells jess that she and D.P are ‘connected’.
Jess can see stars shimmering in Lila’s eyes. Literally.
Jess reminds Lila of the existence of one Bruce Patman, her BOYFRIEND…who is currently in Japan?
Lila dismisses this information stating that ‘When you connect with a guy like this you have to see it through….”
Then she exits the scene.
Jess thinks Lila’s sudden infatuation is weird (because that never happens to her!) and she wonders where Lila’s ‘cool and wary’ personality has gone.
So do I.
She then murmurs schemingly to herself about how she will go to class next Wednesday and steal D.P from Lila.
You keep telling yourself that Jess.
In the time since her Art Lecture Lila has turned into a crazy stalker and phones people to find out D.P’s number.
While doing this she thinks ‘I’m crazy’.
Yes Lila, at this point…you are. And it’s only gonna go downhill from here. She gets his number and leaves a weird message about how she is doing research on Monet and tells him she wants to meet one-on-one to discuss it.
She ends the message with the creepy line ‘Goodbye Damon, for now’
She then looks sadly at pictures of Jess, Tisiano, Bruce and…….Isabella? And we are informed again that she feels as if she had known D.P for a long, long, long, long, long, time.
Cut to D.P who is drinking his troubles away at the SVU pub. Oh no, wait, he’s only at the pub to prepare his lecture notes…..because the PUB is a good place to do that?
He can’t concentrate on his work and doodles aimlessly.
The doodle turns out to be of Lila and he looks at it as if ‘remembering a far-away dream’
Back to Miss Fowler and she is wondering why Damon hasn’t called. I am wondering why she expects him to. Is it normal for TA’s to call back students who leave them scary messages?
Perhaps in Sweet Valley.
Meanwhile Bruce has sent her a letter from Japan. And a photograph of him looking cool on a rock in a Japanese garden, flanked by two Japanese guys.
Lila reads the letter. In it Bruce informs her that when he eats octopus he thinks of her. How sweet.
It’s so sweet in fact that Lila can’t believe the letter is from Bruce. But it is…and he loves you Li, and you guys are the best couple…so DON’T CHEAT ON HIM…ahem.
She remembers that Bruce is arrogant and has ‘intense good looks’…but she can’t get D.P’s floppy hair and quizzical eyes out of her mind.
Cut to D.P who is walking through the hallways of SVU with Prof. Heckerman who wisely warns him to ‘keep your eyes off those pretty young girls’ AKA LILA FOWLER.
D.P goes into his office and hangs up a picture of clouds. But the clouds aren’t only clouds. Oh no. They form the face of a beautiful girl. And the face looks like Lila. D.P turns on his answering machine and gets Lila’s message.
He then worries about what to say when he calls her back but ‘the voices in his head confused him’
Yup, Lila…you’ve clearly made a stellar choice here.
Cut to Jessica at the Theta house who is looking for Lila, like everyone else there. She bitches a bit about how unfair it is that Lila was RECRUITED by the Thetas and she, Jess Wakefield dammit, had to pledge.
Can I just say that the lack of dizzyLizzie so far has been fantastic!
Lila eventually turns up and suggests they throw and Masked Ball for their fundraiser (Something about a soup-kitchen suggested by Alexenid….typical).
Jess is pissed because Lila always makes her feel ‘second class’.
Lila accidentally drops Bruce’s letter as she leaves and Jess picks it up and pockets it…using it most horribly later in the book.
Jess is a freak.
D.P is waiting by the phone for Li to phone him back. She does. They arrange to meet for dinner the following day. After he hangs up Damon kisses his desk.
Um…normal?
Cut To Lila and Isabella discussing the Masked ball. Isabella wants to be a ‘fascinating gypsy princess.’ Lila informs her she already is.
Lila debates over whether or not to call D.P, stating that she has read ‘The Rules’. I can only assume this is some rulebook passed around the SVU campus on how to properly conduct a relationship/cheat on your significant other.
Damon calls and Lila feel ‘intense emotion’
Cut to Jess who is lounging in her dorm-room of squalor. Dizzy Lizzie is away somewhere…I don’t care where. Jess is happy about it. She cries because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Boo-hoo jess, I’m sure you can steal someone else’s.
Isabella calls and discusses how Lila has gone up and over the wall about D.P. Jessica spends the night formulating plans to grab him for herself.
D.P goes to Lila’s to pick her up, annoyed because his hair sticks to his glasses. Lila lives in an off campus house ( for some reason he is surprised by this?). For a few minutes D.P spaces out as he muses about how refined and beautiful Lila is. Somehow Lila winds up getting D.P to take her to the most expensive restaurant…he frets because he’s poor but agrees anyway.
Guess who will end up footing the bill?
D.P is surprised Lila was able to get a table at the last minute. Lila’s answer :
“I’m a Fowler”
Of course. Duh.
Lila pays. Feels weird about it. D.P feels guilty. Angst.
During dinner Lila tells him about Tisiano’s death. D.P sweats and feels happy about ‘another human being’s untimely death’
Lila says dead husband was much older than her. Like, how much? 25? 35? 45? Michael Douglas old?
Again they feel that they have known each other a long, long, long, time.
They leave and Lila agrees to go to his place for coffee. Woah there Li, please think about poor Bruce. (sheesh…’poor’ and ‘Bruce’ just don’t sound right.)
Lila calls Bruce ‘predictable’ in her mind and then makes out with D.P on his ratty couch. I don’t know if they do it. Probably. Everyone does except Liz.
They muse about how they already know each other’s favourite colours, food etc and D.P decides to show Lila the cloud picture. D.P climbs a ladder to get the book with the picture in from his shelf. However he stumbles or something and the book flies at Lila and knocks her out.
She wakes up to D.P’s soft voice and soft kiss and decides that he is ‘the first man to ever truly understand her needs’.
What Lila, you need to be knocked out with a book?
-Dream sequence-
She is a lady moving through a party. People are calling out to her and gushing over her wedding. Her name is FLORA. Snort.
She sees her husband called THEODORE…(was that the name of one of the Wakefield ancestors??) He’s hot and his green eyes glimmer. Just like D.P…but are they quizzical?
Theo and Flora are mushy-mushy for a few pages and then, after embracing her husband mushily Flora slips and falls down the stairs……LILA WAKES UP SCREAMING
-Back in the real world, ahem-
Lila is confused by her dream and has trouble distinguishing between it and reality. This is going to become a BIG problem for her. She wonders why D.P hasn’t called her because its been like what, a few hours since she left him?
After a long while musing in front of her mirror Lila reaches the conclusion that she and D.P are ‘meant to be together’.
Cut to D.P who is in the middle preparing a lecture and simultaneously angsting about hitting Lila with a book. Who says men can’t multitask?
Lila enters and his heart aches. Damon apologises for not calling and they make out.
Jess enters and snaps “Well, excuuuuse me…”
Obviously other people are not allowed to kiss in her presence. Unless she is allowed to join in.
Jess comes down and bitches and mentions Bruce. Lila dismisses Bruce again and D.P asks,
“Lila, this Jessica Wakefield (Aka blonde sociopath) claims to be your best friend?”
(Go Damon!)
Lila states that Jessica ’has troubles of her own that make her want to hurt the people closest to her’. How true. Revealed jess! Now go deal with your own crazy shit and stop stirring Lila’s!
D.P then berates Jess for skipping class so often. It’s about time someone pulled her up on that! Jess slinks off, HUMILIATED!
D.P and Lila swear undying love and make out again.
Lila spends the lecture musing over D.P’s mysterious phone. Which he said he didn’t have…but he does! FISHY!
D.P shows the students a painting and Lila has a minor freak-out. She saw that painting in her dream!
Lila later confides about the painting to D.P and he ’finds it hard to believe’. Lila’s eyes mist. He shows her the cloud painting and Lila turns into a trembling OOC wreck. Damon tells her that she is the woman he has been forever searching for because she looks like the cloud-woman. Lila is afraid (maybe she doesn’t want to look like a cloud?)
They find out the guy that painted it was called ’Theodore’ LE GASP!
Lila freaks out because that was the man in her dream but resolves not to tell this do D.P because she doesn’t want him to think she’s crazy. Of course not.
Cut to jess who’s throwing a tantrum in her room. She’s angry at Lila for letting D.P diss her because of the ’hours and hours she had stood at Lila’s side during times of trouble’. Sure Jess, the selective memory is obviously cutting out all the times you screwed her over as well.
Like you’re just about to.
Bitch.
So Jessica the horrible person writes to Bruce using the address from Lila’s letter and tells him that Lila is cheating with D.P (which she is but I still feel jess is a total bitch for doing this).
-Dream sequence-
Flora and Theo are throwing a fancy dress party. Some guy has come as Charlie Chaplin. A loving couple have come dressed as two halves of a painting. I guess that will be the dream Todd/Tom and Liz then?
Theo has grown a wild and mysterious goatee, also he looks tired.
Flora mushes with Wild Theo for a while and then runs into a nosy reporter (Liz?) she questions Flora about Theo’s family fortune, which is apparently slipping away.
Flora denies this and the reporter snipes that Theo is ’losing his artistic touch’ also she mentions that Flora and Theo’s marriage is ’on the rocks’. This is news to Flora who breaks down when Theo rescues her from the reporter.
Theo blows a gasket because she’s been talking to the media and reveals that he has indeed ’squandered his inheritance’. He’s been borrowing money from his brother and states that Thomas loved to watch him ’on his knees, begging’ . heh…heheh.
Theo yells that is art isn’t selling and Flora tries to placate him.
He throws a book at her head!
OMG!
-Reality-
Lila wakes up screaming and immediately gets prank called (the kind where no-one answers). She struggles with the difference between dream/reality and realises that both Theo and D.P have hit her with a book.
She decides to go to the !!Library!! To research the painter Theodore Grey.
Cut to D.P who is talking to the cloud picture and pretending its Lila. Whatever floats your boat, man!
He takes out a book about Theodore Grey. It’s called ‘A VISION OF MADNESS’. Nice.
All the paintings resemble Lila…even though they are of trees and stuff. He turns to one that is an actual person. It looks like Lila but the painting has a crude slash mark through the neck like she had been beheaded. This makes him want to call Lila.
He thinks that he remembers things from a long, long, long, long time ago.
At the !!Library!! Lila finds a book on Theodore and sees a picture of him. Is it any surprise at this point that he looks like D.P? She also learns he was married to a woman named FLORA! Shock!
She goes to see D.P who is shocked when he sees her because she is ‘pinched and pale’ and her hair hangs in ‘limp clumps’. (WTF Lila…pull yourself together!)
Lila tells him about the dreams and sobs that she is afraid and whimpers and totally falls apart on his floor. Her lips ‘shiver with agitation’.
D.P thinks she is a nut job.
Lila starts confusing reality and saying Theo is D.P and vice-versa. D.P fiercely tells her to cut it out and Lila literally collapses on the floor in tears. D.P continues to be unsympathetic. Finally Lila regains her cool and leaves.
-Dream sequence-
Flora wakes in bed to discover Theo is gone. She hears a crash and goes to find him. She finds him in his studio trashing his paintings. He looks totally mental and gives her an ‘evil wide-mouthed smile’ and then slashes the neck of the lovely portrait he did of her (The one D.P found in the book) and drips fake blood on it.
He comes toward her with a knife…..
-reality-
Lila wakes up and is disoriented. She wonders is D.P think she is insane. She gets another prank call. This time the caller creepily says “Liiiiila, Liiila…”
Lila thinks it’s D.P and hangs up. She thinks D.P is sick for pranking her like that. She muses on the possibility that D.P is such a Theo fan that he is trying to duplicate his life.
-dream sequence-
Theo is chasing Flora. When he finally catches her he tells her that his studio has been wrecked. She says he did it. He doesn’t remember.
He sees the ruined portrait and decides it’s cool and he wants it to be exhibited as his latest work. Flora cries.
-reality-
D.P tries to read a novel but every time he turns the page he thinks about Lila. (Maybe he’s reading Lila’s new Flame?) He thinks how he is a very closed off person and can’t deal with emotion. He wonders why Lila has gone berserk and wonders if she is clear on the difference between dreams and reality.
He looks at the painting with the tear in the neck and muses ‘How could anyone damage such a beautiful neck?’
Meanwhile Lila is hurrying through campus dressed in a ‘Hooded Sweatshirt’ and her hair is messy…..SHOCK! She’s off to the !!Library!! Again. Will the real Lila Fowler please stand up?
She finds and image of the neck-slash portrait and learns that the painting was a ‘bizarre foreshadowing of the personal tragedy Theo endured shortly after it was shown.’
Lila gasps and wonders what the tragedy was….like it’s hard to guess! She goes to the Librarian and asks for news articles on Theo Grey. She finds Flora’s obituary!!! And a photo of Flora and Theo which proves they looked exactly like them!!
The article says that Flora suffered fatal wounds about the neck and Theo was placed under arrest. Neighbours alerted police after quarrelling was heard in the house.
Lila thinks Theo murdered Flora, she also thinks history is repeating itself and wants to warn D.P.
She goes to D.P’s house looking like a crazy person and he notes that her normal voice has been replaced by ‘high-pitched shrieks’.
Lila babbles about what she has found and her dreams and history repeating itself. D.P comes to the conclusion that she is ‘emotionally disturbed’. He as good as tells her so and they get into a big fight. Then (And here comes the super shocker moment) D.P screams at her ‘What do you want from me, FLORA!”
Somewhere Kenneth Branagh and his team of ‘Dead again’ writers are preparing a lawsuit. Or, y’know, not caring because they would never read anything as preposterous as Sweet Valley…
D.P apologises but Lila spots the slash-neck painting on the wall behind him and asks how he could like something that a killer made. D.P tells her he has been studying the paintings for years. Lila tells him he is demented (she’s one to talk). She runs off before history can repeat and he murders her too!!!
D.P talks to an imaginary Theo about leaving, afraid he is becoming a ‘vicious person’. We don’t know if he leaves or not….yet….
-Dream-
Flora and Theo are going to a party. He seems to be in a good mood. It’s the opening of his new work, he hasn’t shown her the paintings. She is nervous. When she sees them she feels sick. They are all of her (and one of her horse) with body parts slashed/amputated.
Everyone there loves them…Flora’s heart breaks.
-reality-
Lila gets another creepy ‘Liiiiila’ phone call. She slams the phone down. It rings again and this time the voice calls her Flora. She determines the caller MUST be Damon because he was the only other person who knew about Flora.
Ever. In the entire world.
-Dream-
Flora is walking through gorgeous house which she doesn’t like because it was the money from the sales of those weird paintings that paid for it. She is going to get some milk but in the kitchen she encounters Theo who has flipped again and is now behaving like ‘a wild animal’.
Theo throws her across the room and accuses her of stealing his ideas: “You took my ideas! Then you took the money people gave you for my ideas and kept it for yourself.”
Flora is all WTF and he tells her that she owes him her life.
-reality-
Lila wakes up and cries over how D.P treated her the previous night, deciding that it is over between the two of them. She gets a message from D.P saying he is sorry and he’s leaving town for a few days.
The phone rings again and it’s the weird voice. It knows her boyfriend has left and states that no one can help her now.
Lila still thinks it’s D.P….
Cut to D.P who we find hasn’t left town but is instead looking for Lila. He apologises to her and they go for coffee.
At the café Lila notices that his normally quizzical eyes are DULL. His normally lively voice is FLAT and his hair looks weird.
Despite that she tells him about the weird phone calls and he blames them on a frat boy. She points out that the caller knew D.P was leaving town and then reveals that she has been out buying a caller id machine.
D.P gets kind of mad and tells her he’s sure it’s a frat boy and caller Id’s are a waste of time. He takes her hand and Lila realises his normally warm hands are COLD. Also she notices his DULL eyes again.
She wants to leave but D.P kisses her. For some reason the she doesn’t feel anything when he does (before she felt fireworks) and she notices a SCAR on his face that she didn’t ever notice before.
She tells him there is too much she doesn’t know about him and leaves.
As she zooms off in her car she thinks how the D.P she just met was almost like a STRANGER and wonders if he knocker her out with the book on purpose. She thinks about his fascination with Theo’s work and realises that D.P only picked her out of the crowd because she looked like Flora.
She gets home and the phone starts ringing scarily so she drives off again to seek help and solace from…………………………Jessica??
Jessica only agrees to let her in after Lila has agreed to take her on a spa trip later (some friend).
Lila tells her the crazy story and of course Jess believes her right away. Jessica tells her she can stay in the Wakefield room and borrow her stuff…and Liz’s too.
To cheer Lila up Jess dyes Lila’s hair mango (????)
Lila consents to giving Jess a Marilyn Monroe makeover and goes off to order some Chinese.
A while later Jess realises Lila hasn’t come back and starts to panic. She looks out the window and sees D.P scuttling in the bushes. Lila comes back and muses over D.P for a while. Jess tells her to get over it. Lila says she can’t figure out why he’s so different from when she met him.
Then she thinks about Bruce and realises that actually he is the one for her. Not D.P.
Welcome back, Lila.
-dream-
Flora is struggling up from where Theo last threw her. Theo tries to strangle her and Flora realises his hands are rough (This is notable because apparently Theo’s hands were always soft and manicured).
-reality-
Lila wakes up screaming ‘Damon why are you trying to kill me?”
Jess comforts her and Lila realises that the dreams always continue from the previous point. Lila tells her that Flora had noticed a difference in Theo and Jess guesses that it might not have been Theo that killed her.
They decide to go to the !!Library!! and research.
When they get there Jess wonders how Lila knows so much about the library (because she’s been living there 24/7 jess, having minor panic attacks over Theo). They find out that although Flora suffered neck wounds she actually died of a heart attack.
Lila says ‘I know he killed her’.
Jessica suggests they go and see a hypnotist.
Lila goes under and dreams of Flora, Theo and the crazy paintings. She wakes up and the hypnotist tells her she was Flora and was with Theo (basically everything she already knew) and the hypnotist tells her she was reincarnated and that misdeeds that happen in a past life are always avenged in a future one. So instead of D.P killing Lila, Lila might kill D.P.
Lila leaves and Jess talks to the hypnotist for a while before rushing out when she hears Lila scream. D.P is outside in full on crazy mode, telling Lila she ‘loved his kisses’ and asking why she doesn’t talk to him.
Jess rushes out and rescues Lila.
In the car Lila tells Jess that she just wants to get D.P out of her life for good and focus on Bruce.
Jess remembers that she freakishly sent Bruce a letter telling him Lila was cheating and feels stupid.
Lila wants to call Bruce later.
Jessica guiltily confesses what she did and Lila blows a gasket. She tells Jessica to get out the car and then zooms off. Jessica goes to find her jeep so she can follow.
Lila gets a message from Bruce telling her that he forgives her and he still loves her. Yey!!
Lila gets one of those creepy D.P messages that says he is coming to find her. Then he crashes dramatically through her window and rips her phone out of the wall saying: “Floora, its Theodore!!”
-dream-
Flora is dying and sees two Theodore’s fighting. She wonders why.
-reality-
Jessica is zooming to the rescue why berating herself for ever being mean to Lila. She pulls up at Lila’s and sees D.P banging at the door, shouting for Lila to let him in.
Jessica confronts him and he says “You don’t understand, that wasn’t me!”
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Crazy D.P has put Lila in some type of trap involving a knife stuck in a dishwasher. Basically if she moves forward she gets stabbed and if she moves backward she gets stabbed. He is also calling her Flora.
He moans that he never got to go to good schools or travel the world or have a beautiful woman like Lila (like sane D.P did).
Lila remembers the two Theo’s from her dream and realises that D.P really did leave town and this must be his crazy twin. She screams.
Outside Real D.P knocks jess out the way and breaks into the house. He fights with crazy twin while Jess rescues Lila. Jessica smashes a Cuisinart (does anyone know what that is?) over crazy D.P’s head. Crazy D.P slides onto the dishwasher knife and dies.
At the end we learn that the crazy D.P was Dylan, Damon’s twin brother who was crazy (surprise, surprise). Also we learn that Theo had a crazy twin who killed Flora.
D.P tells Lila and jess about Dylan (who was some kind of artistic genius that went nuts) and says he must have escaped from his institution.
Lila and D.P decide to break up and Lila remembers Bruce again, right at the very end.
Please forgive any typos!!