Sweet Valley Kids #5: Jessica's Cat Trick
Sweet Valley Kids #5: Jessica's Cat Trick
This book is yet another patch in the quilt of Jessica Wakefield's love-hate relationship with animals. In this book, she (hearts) cats. In others, she'd just as soon run them over with her Jeep. Then again, she feels the same way about her twin sister, so...
Here we see Jess and Liz with Misty, their secret cat. I am very amused that the girls have a shoebox that actually says "shoes" on the side instead of, for example, a brand name like most shoeboxes. Unless it really says "hoes," but that joke really belongs in SVH.
Elizabeth and Jessica are in a hurry to get home after school because they have a cat hidden in the backyard. They'd found it under some bushes but kept it secret because Ned and Steven are allergic to cats. Or at least, they are when it suits the plot.
Just before they enter the house, Jessica instructs Elizabeth to "act like everything's normal," a strategy they will continue to follow through years of evil stalkers, crazy doppelgangers, and creepy Mr. Collins. They also agree to keep the cat a secret by making their special promise sign, crossing their hearts and snapping their fingers twice. Why didn't this signal ever make it into SVH? Oh, right, because Jessica couldn't keep a promise if you held a gun to her head.
Next the helpful narrator lets us know that Jessica and Elizabeth are identical twins, and they share cookies and candy and boyfriends right down the middle. They're also different from each other...look, does anyone really want to hear that infodump again?
They head straight to the backyard and find the cat, who is sad and hungry and has a bad scratch on one ear. These girls might be only seven, but doesn't it occur to them that they might need to get it to a vet? No, apparently it's a better idea for them to adopt the cat and keep it hidden in their closet.
They sneak the cat inside and decide to name it Misty. I think I like Jasmine better. But at least this one doesn't get eaten by a vampire. Sorry for the spoiler if you thought she might be.
Because they remember that cats like food, Jessica goes downstairs to get her some milk. Mary Anne fucking Spier is echoing in my head, saying cats shouldn't have milk. I'm trying to ignore her. Next, Elizabeth goes down to get some tuna and a can opener. Alice almost catches her, so she hides them under her shirt. Alice, unsurprisingly, doesn't notice anything strange.
The next day, the twins tell their friends about Misty. So what was that secret promise sign for, then? Ellen says if she had a cat, she would name it Tippy Tiger, her favorite person on TV. Lila informs her that Tippy Tiger is a cartoon character, not a person. I would think that Ellen is kind of cute here, except that I know she doesn't get any smarter by the time she's in sixth grade.
Caroline Pearce shows up at that point, and everyone shuts up except Lila, who tells her about the hidden cat. Elizabeth is mad because now Caroline will tell everyone the secret. Liz, if you were worried about people finding out, maybe you shouldn't have told half your class about it.
Amy and Lila come home with the twins to see Misty, and Lila asks why her stomach is so big. Well, I can think of two reasons, and only one of them involves the cat being the feline Lois Waller. Can you, the readers at home, guess the other?
Elizabeth and Amy go to change the litter box-or rather, put fresh dirt in the shoebox-and Misty runs out of the room when they open the door. The kids catch her and put her back in the closet with Tom McKay just as Steven walks by the room, sneezing.
Caroline comes over before school the next day to see Misty. When Alice comes into the room to check on them, she smells tuna and hears Misty meow, but Caroline covers. Great, but isn't Alice home during the day? My cat would meow his head off if he was shut in a room, so I find it hard to believe that Alice doesn't hear it after the girls leave. Maybe she goes out clubbing when everyone's gone, or has a secret heroin addiction and assumes the meowing is a drug-induced hallucination? The sordid possibilities are endless.
At dinner, Ned keeps sneezing and Steven has a scratchy throat. Ned comments that it's like there's a cat in the house, and Jessica knocks over her milk while staring wide-eyed at her sister. Their parents add two and two together and come up with 33,026.
The next morning on their way to the bus stop, Elizabeth and Jessica consider the possibility that the health of their father and brother might be kind of important, and decide that they should find a home for Misty. Todd, Caroline, and Charlie Cashman are at the bus stop when they get there, and Charlie steals Caroline's lunch box. Todd doesn't interfere which, given his ToddPunch tendencies, surprises me. The girls don't lift a finger (or a condescending shoulder pat) either, and Charlie finally tosses it back to her. For some reason, this makes Jess and Liz think Caroline would be an ideal person to adopt Misty. They ask her, and she agrees to ask her parents.
After school, the twins are surprised because Misty doesn't get up or eat. They decide that she must be sick and that they need to tell their parents about her. So they'll reveal the big secret for the sake of the well-being of a cat, but not the well-being of two members of their family?
They bring Alice to their room and show her Misty, and Alice works out that Misty is about to have kittens. (Did you guess it? I guessed it.) The family eats dinner picnic-style in the girls' bedroom to watch Misty have kittens. If Misty wanted privacy when she went into labor, she shouldn't have moved in with the Wakefields. Ned and Steven are still sneezing, but I guess eating in misery is worth it if you get to see a bunch of slimy kittens come out of a bigger cat.
Misty has a total of five kittens. Caroline's parents agree to adopt Misty. Winston, Eva, and Lois agree to adopt three of the kittens when they're old enough. Jessica and Elizabeth get into absolutely no trouble for sneaking a cat into the house and making Ned and Steven miserable for a week.
Oh, and the twins talk about having a camp out. This is a lead-in to Lila's Secret, which I think has technically been declared anathema. I mean, Lila wetting the bed?
This book is yet another patch in the quilt of Jessica Wakefield's love-hate relationship with animals. In this book, she (hearts) cats. In others, she'd just as soon run them over with her Jeep. Then again, she feels the same way about her twin sister, so...
Here we see Jess and Liz with Misty, their secret cat. I am very amused that the girls have a shoebox that actually says "shoes" on the side instead of, for example, a brand name like most shoeboxes. Unless it really says "hoes," but that joke really belongs in SVH.
Elizabeth and Jessica are in a hurry to get home after school because they have a cat hidden in the backyard. They'd found it under some bushes but kept it secret because Ned and Steven are allergic to cats. Or at least, they are when it suits the plot.
Just before they enter the house, Jessica instructs Elizabeth to "act like everything's normal," a strategy they will continue to follow through years of evil stalkers, crazy doppelgangers, and creepy Mr. Collins. They also agree to keep the cat a secret by making their special promise sign, crossing their hearts and snapping their fingers twice. Why didn't this signal ever make it into SVH? Oh, right, because Jessica couldn't keep a promise if you held a gun to her head.
Next the helpful narrator lets us know that Jessica and Elizabeth are identical twins, and they share cookies and candy and boyfriends right down the middle. They're also different from each other...look, does anyone really want to hear that infodump again?
They head straight to the backyard and find the cat, who is sad and hungry and has a bad scratch on one ear. These girls might be only seven, but doesn't it occur to them that they might need to get it to a vet? No, apparently it's a better idea for them to adopt the cat and keep it hidden in their closet.
They sneak the cat inside and decide to name it Misty. I think I like Jasmine better. But at least this one doesn't get eaten by a vampire. Sorry for the spoiler if you thought she might be.
Because they remember that cats like food, Jessica goes downstairs to get her some milk. Mary Anne fucking Spier is echoing in my head, saying cats shouldn't have milk. I'm trying to ignore her. Next, Elizabeth goes down to get some tuna and a can opener. Alice almost catches her, so she hides them under her shirt. Alice, unsurprisingly, doesn't notice anything strange.
The next day, the twins tell their friends about Misty. So what was that secret promise sign for, then? Ellen says if she had a cat, she would name it Tippy Tiger, her favorite person on TV. Lila informs her that Tippy Tiger is a cartoon character, not a person. I would think that Ellen is kind of cute here, except that I know she doesn't get any smarter by the time she's in sixth grade.
Caroline Pearce shows up at that point, and everyone shuts up except Lila, who tells her about the hidden cat. Elizabeth is mad because now Caroline will tell everyone the secret. Liz, if you were worried about people finding out, maybe you shouldn't have told half your class about it.
Amy and Lila come home with the twins to see Misty, and Lila asks why her stomach is so big. Well, I can think of two reasons, and only one of them involves the cat being the feline Lois Waller. Can you, the readers at home, guess the other?
Elizabeth and Amy go to change the litter box-or rather, put fresh dirt in the shoebox-and Misty runs out of the room when they open the door. The kids catch her and put her back in the closet with Tom McKay just as Steven walks by the room, sneezing.
Caroline comes over before school the next day to see Misty. When Alice comes into the room to check on them, she smells tuna and hears Misty meow, but Caroline covers. Great, but isn't Alice home during the day? My cat would meow his head off if he was shut in a room, so I find it hard to believe that Alice doesn't hear it after the girls leave. Maybe she goes out clubbing when everyone's gone, or has a secret heroin addiction and assumes the meowing is a drug-induced hallucination? The sordid possibilities are endless.
At dinner, Ned keeps sneezing and Steven has a scratchy throat. Ned comments that it's like there's a cat in the house, and Jessica knocks over her milk while staring wide-eyed at her sister. Their parents add two and two together and come up with 33,026.
The next morning on their way to the bus stop, Elizabeth and Jessica consider the possibility that the health of their father and brother might be kind of important, and decide that they should find a home for Misty. Todd, Caroline, and Charlie Cashman are at the bus stop when they get there, and Charlie steals Caroline's lunch box. Todd doesn't interfere which, given his ToddPunch tendencies, surprises me. The girls don't lift a finger (or a condescending shoulder pat) either, and Charlie finally tosses it back to her. For some reason, this makes Jess and Liz think Caroline would be an ideal person to adopt Misty. They ask her, and she agrees to ask her parents.
After school, the twins are surprised because Misty doesn't get up or eat. They decide that she must be sick and that they need to tell their parents about her. So they'll reveal the big secret for the sake of the well-being of a cat, but not the well-being of two members of their family?
They bring Alice to their room and show her Misty, and Alice works out that Misty is about to have kittens. (Did you guess it? I guessed it.) The family eats dinner picnic-style in the girls' bedroom to watch Misty have kittens. If Misty wanted privacy when she went into labor, she shouldn't have moved in with the Wakefields. Ned and Steven are still sneezing, but I guess eating in misery is worth it if you get to see a bunch of slimy kittens come out of a bigger cat.
Misty has a total of five kittens. Caroline's parents agree to adopt Misty. Winston, Eva, and Lois agree to adopt three of the kittens when they're old enough. Jessica and Elizabeth get into absolutely no trouble for sneaking a cat into the house and making Ned and Steven miserable for a week.
Oh, and the twins talk about having a camp out. This is a lead-in to Lila's Secret, which I think has technically been declared anathema. I mean, Lila wetting the bed?