#93, The Incredible Madame Jessica
I’m going to start requiring my friends to call me Madame Jessica. Too kinky?
My roommate told me that someone put a request in for #93, The Incredible Madame Jessica so I couldn’t renew it so I decided that I better get my butt in gear and recap it. And I wonder who put in the request for it. I think I might leave them a note in the book and tell them not to waste their time and give them a link to this recap.
On the cover, Jessica is wearing her fortune teller get up and reading someone’s palm. I don’t know who any of the other people are on the cover. I thought maybe it was Cammie who's getting her palm read and Sophia and Patrick were listening, but I don’t know…nor do I really care.
We open with Jessica reading. That’s right! She’s stayed up until midnight, reading a book about Britta Hanes. She’s a psychic who helps the police solve crimes. Kind of like Patricia Arquette’s character in Medium, I guess. Jessica feels like she has psychic powers. Riiight. I mean, I guess this shows some continuity because she thinks she’s psychic after there was that earthquake.
The next morning at breakfast, Liz is eating Corny-Os and Jessica tells her that she knew her sister would be eating Corny-Os. That sounds like a generic name for Cheerios. I once saw a box of generic Chex called Corn Pockets. I bought them, of course. But I’m getting off topic. Liz says that she always eats Corny-Os for breakfast. Why isn’t she eating the pancakes that Alice is making? Jessica is and she predicts that Steven will eat nine pancakes. I once ate fourteen pancakes and spent the rest of the day in bed. Steven does eat nine pancakes, but then eats one more…just to spite Jessica.
Liz is at the library, looking for a book on computers, but they’re all checked out. The hell? All of them? The librarian (shout out to my roommate!), Ms. Luster, give her a flier for a school fair to raise money for the library. Ms. Luster tells her about an amnesty booth where people can return overdue books without a penalty. If SVMS is so strapped for cash, why don’t they send notes to the parents when the kids’ books are overdue? My sister couldn’t get her college to send transcripts until she paid her fine. That’s how you collect money! Liz comes up with an idea to award a prize to whoever returns the most overdue book. Brown noser.
The Unicorns discuss what kind of booth they’re going to have at the fair. Mandy suggests a dunking booth filled with grape jello. Jessica wants to do a fortune telling booth instead. She decides that she doesn’t need the Unicorns and she can get Liz to help her. But Liz doesn’t want to help her. Ha! The Wakefields talk about the twins booths at dinner. Elizabeth is doing the amnesty booth and Jess is doing the fortune telling booth. Liz thinks Jess is going to be successful.
The Unicorns, minus Jess, go shopping for jello. They can’t find industrial sized grape jello so they settle for strawberry and lime.
Bruce is throwing a pool party and the twins are getting ready. Jessica is wearing a gypsy outfit…like on the cover, I guess. Bruce makes fun of her outfit and everyone kind of ignores her. Ha, they’re used to her constant need of attention and approval.
Patrick Morris is working the grill and his girlfriend, Sophia Rizzo is helping him. It is her birthday today and she’s hoping that he has something special for her. Jessica tries to get them to let her read their fortunes but they’re not interested. Patrick says he’s too busy grilling. She then tries to get Todd to let her, but he tells her he’s broke. The Unicorns laugh at her. She sees Patrick, not grilling and he gives in. They go over to the pool house and some kids follow. She predicts that he’s going to have a fight with Sophia and they’ll break up. No one believes her. Jess then predicts that Liz will fail a test. Yes! Liz gets upset.
After the party, Sophia and Patrick are waiting for SophiaMom to pick them up. Patrick has forgotten her birthday. That sucks. I thought Boyfriend had forgotten mine a few weeks ago, but he had planned a surprise party. I told him next year I wanted a YA theme party and everyone would dress up as their favorite character.
At school on Monday, Sophia bitches out Patrick for forgetting her birthday. At the Unicorner, Aaron congratulates Jess on her prediction coming true. Lila tells her that while she may have been right about Sophia and Patrick, she’s wrong about Liz because Liz was the first to turn in her history test so there’s zippy chance she’ll fail.
Liz gets an F! I love it! There was a third page on the test that she didn’t see. Lila starts to think that Jessica is psychic. Amy tells Liz that it’s pretty coincidental that Jessica’s predictions are coming true.
Liz is working in the library when Jerry “Crunch” McAllister comes in and returns a book. She bitches to him about it being overdue. Don’t worry Crunch, you’ll send her into a coma in high school as payback. She questions whether or not the amnesty booth is a good idea. Cool it, Melvil Dewey.
At lunch, everyone wants Jessica to predict their futures. She thinks that this is how Johnny Buck must feel, being a celebrity in demand. She tells everyone to wait until the fair. The Unicorns, minus Janet, believe in Jessica’ ESP.
The first day of the fair (it’s being held every Saturday for three weeks) has arrived and Liz is in her ivory tower amnesty booth. Mr. Bowman returns A Tale of Two Cities that is sixteen weeks overdue. Ms. Luster tells Jessica that she can’t charge $5 per reading. Jessica sets the price back to 50 cents. There’s a huge crowd waiting for her.
Aaron is her first customer and she sees him walking off the basketball court alone and no one is happy with him. He’s been suspended, but she doesn’t know why. That stinks. I thought Aaron was a soccer player? Or is he a man of many talents? Doesn’t he have a bit of an anger problem in the SVH series and Liz gets mad because Jeffrey defends him? I miss Jeffrey.
Tom McKay returns a book that’s overdue by a year. Does it happen to be written by Oscar Wilde? Liz nags him. She questions the amnesty thing again and tells Ms. Luster that they shouldn’t have to bribe people with a pizza (that’s the prize) to bring in old books. Ms. Luster is like, “Relax, bitch! I’m just glad people are returning books! I don’t care if I have to give them a pizza to do it.”
The Unicorn’s dunking booth isn’t going so well. The jello was not jelling and so it’s purple water.
Ms. Luster tells Amy that Liz is acting hostile to people when they return their books. Liz gets preachy about moral obligations and such. Charlie Cashman returns a car magazine that is a year overdue. That puts him in the lead for the pizza prize. A man brings in a book he checked out in 1979! Liz blows a fuse and Ms. Luster suggests she take a break. Liz thinks, “Was this her way of telling Elizabeth to ease up a little.” Ya think?!
Todd is getting a hot dog for Liz. She loves that he knows exactly how she likes her hot dogs. Patrick comes over and tells Liz his troubles. She reminds him that he did forget his girlfriend’s birthday. Liz decides to bring Jessica a hot dog.
Jessica is telling fortunes; Bruce will sprain his ankle, Sarah Thomas will get her braces tightened, and Anna Reynolds is going to lose her new leather jacket. Liz asks her why the predictions are always bad. Jess is like, “I can’t help what visions come to me!” and eats her hot dog.
Jessica makes fun of the Unicorn’s booth. She made $38, which means that she told 76 people their fortune. Not bad. The Unicorns only made $2.
Elizabeth marvels at all the overdue books they collected. One was checked out in 1972 and Elizabeth says it’s 20 years overdue. Time for a little math.
That means that it’s 1992 in Sweet Valley time. And the twins are twelve in this book so they were “born” in 1980? That means they’d be 28 now.
Jessica predicts that someone will turn in a book that’s more overdue than 20 years. She gets shit from Steven over her bad predictions. She’s all, “Not my problem.”
Sophia is missing Patrick and he comes over to her and asks if she’s forgiven him yet. He’s so dense. She gets mad and walks away.
Bruce hobbles into science class. He tore ligaments playing baseball. I bet it was really from him running away from this...
He says he was sliding into third base and his “cousin piled his gargantuan body on top of [him].” Does his cousin happen to be Tom McKay? And what’s even funnier is that the quote is on page 69! Jessica wants to discus psychic phenomenon in science, rather than the life of a cell. I think I agree with Jess.
Deaf Anna is searching frantically for something. Could it be her jacket? Liz butts in. It is her leather jacket that’s missing. Liz asks her a question but Anna has turned her back and so she doesn’t hear Liz. I love you, Anna! Jess comes over and gets excited when she hears that another prediction came true.
Jessica has a dream about receiving the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the whole world from a bomb. Using her psychic skillz, of course.
The next day at school, Aaron is banging his locker shut. See, I told you he was a rageaholic! He tells Janet that he was suspended from the basketball team because his grades were below a C average. Hey, I just read a book about Todd being suspended from the basketball team for skipping school. He ended up “running away.” Janet jokes that Jessica’s predictions are really curses, but Aaron thinks she’s on to something.
Jessica is looking for Olivia Davidson to see if she will design a tshirt to advertise Jessica’s psychic skillz. She runs into a seventh grader who runs away from Jessica. Olivia and Sarah see Jessica and run off too.
Liz is working in the library when Crunch asks her for help in finding a book. She asks him if he’s going to return it and nag him. He glares at her and checks the book out.
Jessica can’t find the Unicorns at lunch so she decides to eat with Liz. When she sets her tray down, everyone (but Liz) gets up and leaves. Jessica thinks that they just want to wait until Saturday so they can contribute to the library. Liz has to explain to her why they really left.
Jessica tries to talk to Aaron, but he runs away. She almost starts to cry and decides that she’s only going to tell good fortunes. She predicts that Liz is going to find something of value that’s been lost for a long time.
Later that night, Liz’s math homework has fallen behind her dresser and she asks Steven to help her move the dresser. She gets her homework and finds a copy of Black Beauty. She checked it out almost four years ago! Shame, thy name is Elizabeth Wakefield. She has a nightmare that night about being prosecuted in a courtroom. Hmmm…could the twins be identical down to their psychic connections? She feels bad for being Judgy McJudgerson and decides to wait until the book fair to return her book. She compares herself to a criminal. Close.
Jessica approaches Sarah and Olivia and tells them that she’s only going to use her powers for good. She makes the same announcement during lunch. Cammie steps forward to have her fortune read and Jess predicts Cammie will win a prize and Randy Mason is going to get out of class early today. Everyone crowds around Jess and she’s popular again.
During gym class, they’re playing volleyball and Jessica tries to give Cammie an easy shot. Cammie ends up hitting the ball into Belinda’s head. Belinda says Cammie should win a booby prize. Cammie gets mad at Jessica.
During math class, Randy Mason has an asthma attack and gets to go home early. Bruce cracks on Jessica telling good fortunes. Everyone hates her again. They’re a fickle bunch.
Janet tells Jess that she’s cursing everyone and Jess is upset.
At the fair, Liz waits for Ms. Luster to take a break so she can return Black Beauty. Patrick returns a book, but since it’s only a few weeks late, he’s spared a verbal lashing. He tries to get info on Sophia and Liz tells him to get her some flowers. Aaron brings his grandma over to the booth to return a book that she checked out in 1962. Damn, Granny! Liz never gets a chance to return her book.
Jessica watches the Unicorn’s booth and Janet taunts her. She lowers her price to five cents and eats a fortune cookie. Her fortune says, “There is yet time enough for you to take a different path.” This gives her an idea. Crunch has Jess read his fortune and she gives him some fortune cookie advice about failing and never trying at all. Crunch thinks she’s crazy. Dude, she’s not the one who has a purple van! Jess thinks that the fortunes aren’t exciting, but they’re not running her reputation either.
At the dunk tank, Peter Burns dunks Mr. Siegel, the science teacher. Janet looks at Jessica’s empty booth.
Liz tries to get Ms. Luster to take another break, but Ms. Luster doesn’t budge.
Jessica made twenty cents. That’s five people! Crunch comes over to yell at her. He took her fortune to mean that he should try new things so he entered a pie eating contest and lost and now feels like he has to puke. Suck it up, I ate fourteen pancakes! Jessica thinks that being a psychic is a terrible burden.
At school, Liz is working in the library and Crunch tells her he returned the book like he said he would. She apologizes.
Everyone at school is treating Jess like a pariah. She goes outside to eat and finds Liz. They sit together, thinking. Liz tells Jess about her overdue book and Jess is like, “That’s it?” Seriously, Liz. BFD!
In the library, Liz sees Sophia. She misses Patrick. Liz suggests that she talk to him because he misses her too. She hopes that if they get back together, people won’t think Jess is cursing them.
The twins are moping around the house while Steven eats. He suggests a twin switch and Jess tells Liz that she’ll even return the overdue book. Doormat agrees.
At the fair, Mr. Clark, who was suppose to be in the dunk tank, hasn’t shown up yet so the Unicorns draw straws to see who’ll get dunked. Lila has to do it.
JessAsLiz shows up at the amnesty booth and has come up with an elaborate explanation for the overdue book, but Ms. Luster is like, “Whatever.”
The Unicorns have all taken turns being dunked, except Janet. She hides out in Jess’s booth where LizAsJess is sitting around, bored. She makes Janet get her fortune told and LizAsJess predicts that her white blouse will get stained. Janet threatened bodily harm if it comes true. Jess is upset that Liz would tell a fortune like that and has to make sure nothing happens to Janet’s blouse so people won’t think she’s cursing everyone.
Patrick gives Sophia a teddy bear and some flowers. They make up.
Liz and Jess are following Janet around. Just as she’s about to collide with Sarah, who’s carrying paint, the twins shield Janet and get the paint on themselves. Aside from a little paint on her jeans, Janet’s blouse is spotless. The “curse” is broken and Anna’s found her jacket and Sophia and Patrick are back together.
The Unicorns drag Janet to the dunking booth. Bruce and Crunch both miss, but some nerd named Donald Zwerdling is up and he hits the target and Janet falls into the purple water.
Jessica decides to keep her psychic powers to herself from now on.
At a school assembly, Mr. Clark congratulates the Unicorns for raising the most money and Aaron’s Granny wins the most overdue book prize. The Unicorns and the twins watch as a kid named Brian Boyd gets escorted out of the assembly. I guess he’s bad newz in #94, Don’t Talk To Brian. Something tells me that Liz will talk to him and become his savior.
My roommate told me that someone put a request in for #93, The Incredible Madame Jessica so I couldn’t renew it so I decided that I better get my butt in gear and recap it. And I wonder who put in the request for it. I think I might leave them a note in the book and tell them not to waste their time and give them a link to this recap.
On the cover, Jessica is wearing her fortune teller get up and reading someone’s palm. I don’t know who any of the other people are on the cover. I thought maybe it was Cammie who's getting her palm read and Sophia and Patrick were listening, but I don’t know…nor do I really care.
We open with Jessica reading. That’s right! She’s stayed up until midnight, reading a book about Britta Hanes. She’s a psychic who helps the police solve crimes. Kind of like Patricia Arquette’s character in Medium, I guess. Jessica feels like she has psychic powers. Riiight. I mean, I guess this shows some continuity because she thinks she’s psychic after there was that earthquake.
The next morning at breakfast, Liz is eating Corny-Os and Jessica tells her that she knew her sister would be eating Corny-Os. That sounds like a generic name for Cheerios. I once saw a box of generic Chex called Corn Pockets. I bought them, of course. But I’m getting off topic. Liz says that she always eats Corny-Os for breakfast. Why isn’t she eating the pancakes that Alice is making? Jessica is and she predicts that Steven will eat nine pancakes. I once ate fourteen pancakes and spent the rest of the day in bed. Steven does eat nine pancakes, but then eats one more…just to spite Jessica.
Liz is at the library, looking for a book on computers, but they’re all checked out. The hell? All of them? The librarian (shout out to my roommate!), Ms. Luster, give her a flier for a school fair to raise money for the library. Ms. Luster tells her about an amnesty booth where people can return overdue books without a penalty. If SVMS is so strapped for cash, why don’t they send notes to the parents when the kids’ books are overdue? My sister couldn’t get her college to send transcripts until she paid her fine. That’s how you collect money! Liz comes up with an idea to award a prize to whoever returns the most overdue book. Brown noser.
The Unicorns discuss what kind of booth they’re going to have at the fair. Mandy suggests a dunking booth filled with grape jello. Jessica wants to do a fortune telling booth instead. She decides that she doesn’t need the Unicorns and she can get Liz to help her. But Liz doesn’t want to help her. Ha! The Wakefields talk about the twins booths at dinner. Elizabeth is doing the amnesty booth and Jess is doing the fortune telling booth. Liz thinks Jess is going to be successful.
The Unicorns, minus Jess, go shopping for jello. They can’t find industrial sized grape jello so they settle for strawberry and lime.
Bruce is throwing a pool party and the twins are getting ready. Jessica is wearing a gypsy outfit…like on the cover, I guess. Bruce makes fun of her outfit and everyone kind of ignores her. Ha, they’re used to her constant need of attention and approval.
Patrick Morris is working the grill and his girlfriend, Sophia Rizzo is helping him. It is her birthday today and she’s hoping that he has something special for her. Jessica tries to get them to let her read their fortunes but they’re not interested. Patrick says he’s too busy grilling. She then tries to get Todd to let her, but he tells her he’s broke. The Unicorns laugh at her. She sees Patrick, not grilling and he gives in. They go over to the pool house and some kids follow. She predicts that he’s going to have a fight with Sophia and they’ll break up. No one believes her. Jess then predicts that Liz will fail a test. Yes! Liz gets upset.
After the party, Sophia and Patrick are waiting for SophiaMom to pick them up. Patrick has forgotten her birthday. That sucks. I thought Boyfriend had forgotten mine a few weeks ago, but he had planned a surprise party. I told him next year I wanted a YA theme party and everyone would dress up as their favorite character.
At school on Monday, Sophia bitches out Patrick for forgetting her birthday. At the Unicorner, Aaron congratulates Jess on her prediction coming true. Lila tells her that while she may have been right about Sophia and Patrick, she’s wrong about Liz because Liz was the first to turn in her history test so there’s zippy chance she’ll fail.
Liz gets an F! I love it! There was a third page on the test that she didn’t see. Lila starts to think that Jessica is psychic. Amy tells Liz that it’s pretty coincidental that Jessica’s predictions are coming true.
Liz is working in the library when Jerry “Crunch” McAllister comes in and returns a book. She bitches to him about it being overdue. Don’t worry Crunch, you’ll send her into a coma in high school as payback. She questions whether or not the amnesty booth is a good idea. Cool it, Melvil Dewey.
At lunch, everyone wants Jessica to predict their futures. She thinks that this is how Johnny Buck must feel, being a celebrity in demand. She tells everyone to wait until the fair. The Unicorns, minus Janet, believe in Jessica’ ESP.
The first day of the fair (it’s being held every Saturday for three weeks) has arrived and Liz is in her ivory tower amnesty booth. Mr. Bowman returns A Tale of Two Cities that is sixteen weeks overdue. Ms. Luster tells Jessica that she can’t charge $5 per reading. Jessica sets the price back to 50 cents. There’s a huge crowd waiting for her.
Aaron is her first customer and she sees him walking off the basketball court alone and no one is happy with him. He’s been suspended, but she doesn’t know why. That stinks. I thought Aaron was a soccer player? Or is he a man of many talents? Doesn’t he have a bit of an anger problem in the SVH series and Liz gets mad because Jeffrey defends him? I miss Jeffrey.
Tom McKay returns a book that’s overdue by a year. Does it happen to be written by Oscar Wilde? Liz nags him. She questions the amnesty thing again and tells Ms. Luster that they shouldn’t have to bribe people with a pizza (that’s the prize) to bring in old books. Ms. Luster is like, “Relax, bitch! I’m just glad people are returning books! I don’t care if I have to give them a pizza to do it.”
The Unicorn’s dunking booth isn’t going so well. The jello was not jelling and so it’s purple water.
Ms. Luster tells Amy that Liz is acting hostile to people when they return their books. Liz gets preachy about moral obligations and such. Charlie Cashman returns a car magazine that is a year overdue. That puts him in the lead for the pizza prize. A man brings in a book he checked out in 1979! Liz blows a fuse and Ms. Luster suggests she take a break. Liz thinks, “Was this her way of telling Elizabeth to ease up a little.” Ya think?!
Todd is getting a hot dog for Liz. She loves that he knows exactly how she likes her hot dogs. Patrick comes over and tells Liz his troubles. She reminds him that he did forget his girlfriend’s birthday. Liz decides to bring Jessica a hot dog.
Jessica is telling fortunes; Bruce will sprain his ankle, Sarah Thomas will get her braces tightened, and Anna Reynolds is going to lose her new leather jacket. Liz asks her why the predictions are always bad. Jess is like, “I can’t help what visions come to me!” and eats her hot dog.
Jessica makes fun of the Unicorn’s booth. She made $38, which means that she told 76 people their fortune. Not bad. The Unicorns only made $2.
Elizabeth marvels at all the overdue books they collected. One was checked out in 1972 and Elizabeth says it’s 20 years overdue. Time for a little math.
That means that it’s 1992 in Sweet Valley time. And the twins are twelve in this book so they were “born” in 1980? That means they’d be 28 now.
Jessica predicts that someone will turn in a book that’s more overdue than 20 years. She gets shit from Steven over her bad predictions. She’s all, “Not my problem.”
Sophia is missing Patrick and he comes over to her and asks if she’s forgiven him yet. He’s so dense. She gets mad and walks away.
Bruce hobbles into science class. He tore ligaments playing baseball. I bet it was really from him running away from this...
He says he was sliding into third base and his “cousin piled his gargantuan body on top of [him].” Does his cousin happen to be Tom McKay? And what’s even funnier is that the quote is on page 69! Jessica wants to discus psychic phenomenon in science, rather than the life of a cell. I think I agree with Jess.
Deaf Anna is searching frantically for something. Could it be her jacket? Liz butts in. It is her leather jacket that’s missing. Liz asks her a question but Anna has turned her back and so she doesn’t hear Liz. I love you, Anna! Jess comes over and gets excited when she hears that another prediction came true.
Jessica has a dream about receiving the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the whole world from a bomb. Using her psychic skillz, of course.
The next day at school, Aaron is banging his locker shut. See, I told you he was a rageaholic! He tells Janet that he was suspended from the basketball team because his grades were below a C average. Hey, I just read a book about Todd being suspended from the basketball team for skipping school. He ended up “running away.” Janet jokes that Jessica’s predictions are really curses, but Aaron thinks she’s on to something.
Jessica is looking for Olivia Davidson to see if she will design a tshirt to advertise Jessica’s psychic skillz. She runs into a seventh grader who runs away from Jessica. Olivia and Sarah see Jessica and run off too.
Liz is working in the library when Crunch asks her for help in finding a book. She asks him if he’s going to return it and nag him. He glares at her and checks the book out.
Jessica can’t find the Unicorns at lunch so she decides to eat with Liz. When she sets her tray down, everyone (but Liz) gets up and leaves. Jessica thinks that they just want to wait until Saturday so they can contribute to the library. Liz has to explain to her why they really left.
Jessica tries to talk to Aaron, but he runs away. She almost starts to cry and decides that she’s only going to tell good fortunes. She predicts that Liz is going to find something of value that’s been lost for a long time.
Later that night, Liz’s math homework has fallen behind her dresser and she asks Steven to help her move the dresser. She gets her homework and finds a copy of Black Beauty. She checked it out almost four years ago! Shame, thy name is Elizabeth Wakefield. She has a nightmare that night about being prosecuted in a courtroom. Hmmm…could the twins be identical down to their psychic connections? She feels bad for being Judgy McJudgerson and decides to wait until the book fair to return her book. She compares herself to a criminal. Close.
Jessica approaches Sarah and Olivia and tells them that she’s only going to use her powers for good. She makes the same announcement during lunch. Cammie steps forward to have her fortune read and Jess predicts Cammie will win a prize and Randy Mason is going to get out of class early today. Everyone crowds around Jess and she’s popular again.
During gym class, they’re playing volleyball and Jessica tries to give Cammie an easy shot. Cammie ends up hitting the ball into Belinda’s head. Belinda says Cammie should win a booby prize. Cammie gets mad at Jessica.
During math class, Randy Mason has an asthma attack and gets to go home early. Bruce cracks on Jessica telling good fortunes. Everyone hates her again. They’re a fickle bunch.
Janet tells Jess that she’s cursing everyone and Jess is upset.
At the fair, Liz waits for Ms. Luster to take a break so she can return Black Beauty. Patrick returns a book, but since it’s only a few weeks late, he’s spared a verbal lashing. He tries to get info on Sophia and Liz tells him to get her some flowers. Aaron brings his grandma over to the booth to return a book that she checked out in 1962. Damn, Granny! Liz never gets a chance to return her book.
Jessica watches the Unicorn’s booth and Janet taunts her. She lowers her price to five cents and eats a fortune cookie. Her fortune says, “There is yet time enough for you to take a different path.” This gives her an idea. Crunch has Jess read his fortune and she gives him some fortune cookie advice about failing and never trying at all. Crunch thinks she’s crazy. Dude, she’s not the one who has a purple van! Jess thinks that the fortunes aren’t exciting, but they’re not running her reputation either.
At the dunk tank, Peter Burns dunks Mr. Siegel, the science teacher. Janet looks at Jessica’s empty booth.
Liz tries to get Ms. Luster to take another break, but Ms. Luster doesn’t budge.
Jessica made twenty cents. That’s five people! Crunch comes over to yell at her. He took her fortune to mean that he should try new things so he entered a pie eating contest and lost and now feels like he has to puke. Suck it up, I ate fourteen pancakes! Jessica thinks that being a psychic is a terrible burden.
At school, Liz is working in the library and Crunch tells her he returned the book like he said he would. She apologizes.
Everyone at school is treating Jess like a pariah. She goes outside to eat and finds Liz. They sit together, thinking. Liz tells Jess about her overdue book and Jess is like, “That’s it?” Seriously, Liz. BFD!
In the library, Liz sees Sophia. She misses Patrick. Liz suggests that she talk to him because he misses her too. She hopes that if they get back together, people won’t think Jess is cursing them.
The twins are moping around the house while Steven eats. He suggests a twin switch and Jess tells Liz that she’ll even return the overdue book. Doormat agrees.
At the fair, Mr. Clark, who was suppose to be in the dunk tank, hasn’t shown up yet so the Unicorns draw straws to see who’ll get dunked. Lila has to do it.
JessAsLiz shows up at the amnesty booth and has come up with an elaborate explanation for the overdue book, but Ms. Luster is like, “Whatever.”
The Unicorns have all taken turns being dunked, except Janet. She hides out in Jess’s booth where LizAsJess is sitting around, bored. She makes Janet get her fortune told and LizAsJess predicts that her white blouse will get stained. Janet threatened bodily harm if it comes true. Jess is upset that Liz would tell a fortune like that and has to make sure nothing happens to Janet’s blouse so people won’t think she’s cursing everyone.
Patrick gives Sophia a teddy bear and some flowers. They make up.
Liz and Jess are following Janet around. Just as she’s about to collide with Sarah, who’s carrying paint, the twins shield Janet and get the paint on themselves. Aside from a little paint on her jeans, Janet’s blouse is spotless. The “curse” is broken and Anna’s found her jacket and Sophia and Patrick are back together.
The Unicorns drag Janet to the dunking booth. Bruce and Crunch both miss, but some nerd named Donald Zwerdling is up and he hits the target and Janet falls into the purple water.
Jessica decides to keep her psychic powers to herself from now on.
At a school assembly, Mr. Clark congratulates the Unicorns for raising the most money and Aaron’s Granny wins the most overdue book prize. The Unicorns and the twins watch as a kid named Brian Boyd gets escorted out of the assembly. I guess he’s bad newz in #94, Don’t Talk To Brian. Something tells me that Liz will talk to him and become his savior.