(no subject)
Sweet Valley Twins #81: Robbery at the Mall
I know what you're thinking. “Not the mall! Steal from the museum! Library! Take a priceless artifact! Just don't hurt the mall!” But, yes, it's true. The mall is robbed. But don't worry (?), Elizabeth Wakefield is on the case!
I don't like to joke about these things, but doesn't Liz look mentally challenged on the cover? The artist wasn't that far off, actually.
Maria Slater asked Liz to come over and help her learn to use her new video camera. Of course, Liz, being the self-absorbed horror that she is, is busy reading her new “Amanda Howard” mystery. Amanda Howard is like Dancy Nrew. I would make fun of Liz for reading Nancy Drew books, but-confession time-I still read them. And I do recaps at titian_blonde occasionally. Though Nancy isn't as fun to recap because she's awesome.
Maria used to be an actress, in case you haven't heard. She thinks if she never gets her career back, it will be good to have a backup plan. Said backup plan is becoming a director. Like that's not hard either. Anyway, the Boosters are giving a “special performance” at the mall tomorrow and Maria wants to film it for practice.
Later, Liz continues to be rude and read her Dancy Nrew mystery at the dinner table. Steven says this means she's going to start snooping out non-existent mysteries now. I'd mock, but Steven knows his sister. Liz probably has one of those big, big magnifying glasses and goes around town looking for “clues.”
The next day, the Boosters are getting ready to perform at the mall like they're Tiffany or some shit. Apparently the mall got a new food court and it's a “major media event.” Don't laugh! You know malls are the center of the Sweet Valley universe. The Boosters have to wear t-shirts that say “The Valley Mall: An International Dining Experience.” Because they have a Taco Shack and a Chinese joint. I suppose that is as diverse as they get in Sweet Valley.
Why Lila would allow anyone to video tape her in that shirt is beyond me. But Maria and Liz prepare to tape the routine, only to be told to move by a woman from Precious Stones jewelery store who says they are too close.
We're told that the Booster's signature move is Jessica running and leaping atop a six person pyramid. Is that even possible? I can't imagine Janet and Lila allowing Jess to jump on top of them. Also? This is one of their cheers and I am not making this up:
Tacos, pizza chicken!
Egg rolls, hot dogs, spuds!
Smoothies are so finger-lickin',
Come on and bring your buds!
To the Valley Mall! Valley Mall! Valley Mall!
An international dining extravaganza!
Liz stupidly asks Maria if they mean “taste buds” or “buddies” when they say bring your buds. What I want to know is why you'd lick your fingers after drinking a smoothie. Do they not have straws in Sweet Valley?
Jessica attempts her leap, but right as she's about to land, there is the sound of breaking glass. Everyone tumbles to the floor. Shocker! There has been a robbery at the mall! Who would have ever guessed that would happen in this book?
Liz immediately puts on her Dancy Nrew hat and starts noting people in the vicinity as suspects. Let me say, Liz's “mysteries” are more like advanced meddling and sticking her nose in shit. Nancy is asked to help most of the time.
The next day, Liz waits for the paper to read about the robbery. The next day? Seriously? Nancy Drew would have solved this mystery already. She's at home watching Hannah Gruen make her ten thousandth “You Solved the Case!” cake right about now.
In a bizarre moment of parenting, Alice tells Liz not to look into the case. She cites the Charm School Mystery as an example of her getting in trouble for sticking her nose in someone else's business. Liz, of course, doesn't listen to her mother.
At Casey's, Lila gets pissed when Jessica suggests a “good Booster” would not have lost their concentration when the emergency alarm went off, thus allowing her to tumble to the ground. Lila takes offense and vows to prove she's a better Booster than Jessica. I know gymnasts are taught to keep their concentration no matter what is going on in the background. But then alarms are supposed to get your attention, you know?
Amy helps Liz review the clues. It is literally the most boring scene ever.
Lila has everyone over to her awesome house to view the video Maria made of the performance. I amuse myself by assuming Lila literally rolled out a red carpet for the “premiere.” We're told that Lila's house is opulent because she has a VCR. But this was written in 1994; I can't imagine it was that impressive then. We're told belatedly that Lila and Jessica had a high jump competition as part of proving who is a better Booster. I have no idea what that has to do with anything. But Lila won and I would've liked to see this contest “on screen” but the ghostwriter saw fit to show ups Liz and Am going over her “clues” instead.
Turns out Maria was looking through the wrong “hole” (dirty!) when she filmed the Boosters and the movie is all out of focus and terrible. She cries, thinking it's the worst movie she's ever seen. She's obviously not seen the movies of my purse I shoot when I accidentally hit a button on my camera phone. Maria wants to quit her career as a director but only St. Liz says she'll get the hang of it. The Boosters all get mad at Maria and say she's sabotaging them. Apparently they need an “audition” video for something to do with the Mall. They should've had someone else film them then.
Detective Liz doesn't think to look at the video for “clues.” Nancy Drew is off-screen calling her a “n00b” and laughing with Bess and George.
Jessica and Lila have a fence-walking competition. That means they have to walk across the top of Lila's fence. Jessica falls. Again, what this has to do with being a Booster is a complete mystery. We should hire Nancy Drew to solve it.
Liz, Amy, et al are in the Sixers office (they're running a piece on tennis rackets by Bruce Patman) when breaking news about the mall. Another store has been robbed! This time it's the card shop. Oh noes! Someone is stealing the greeting cards! Not the greeting cards!
Amy watches the TV interview with the gruff security guard (His name is MacDuff and I hear he was not of woman born), and says aloud, “Maybe it was an inside job.” Liz tells Amy she's a genius.
Nancy Drew is watching with Bess and George all, “I never let them figure things out before me.” And Bess is like, “Yeah, she'd kick our ass.”
Jessica and Lila are having a contest to see who can put the most grapes in their mouth at the Unicorner. Tamara asks what this has to do with being a Booster (that's what I wanted to know) and Winston tells her to hush up because this shit is hysterical. Ha. With one sentence, I suddenly love this B plot. Jessica wins. Who would have guessed she'd be good at shoving ball-like things into her mouth? Not I.
Liz, Amy, Maria and Todd go to the Mall and have finger-lickin' smoothies. Liz wants to look for new clues but Amy and Maria refuse to be her Bess and George. They take the bus (the bus!) home, leaving her with crappy Ned NickersonTodd who has three smoothies and then goes and buys electronics at “Sound Trek.” No, that's really the name of the store. I'm not making that up.
Lila and Jessica swim laps in the Wakefield's pool. Lila wins. Probably because she has enough money to get Michael Phelps to train her. Steven has to rescue Jessica from the pool.
Liz is in her room trying to think of a word for citrus-flavored, when the phone rings. Her options are citrusness, citrusion, and citrosity. This book is a freaking citrosity, is what I say. Anyway, it's Todd letting her know there's been another robbery. Todd is so trying to hit on Liz. He's all, “I called you as soon as I heard, I knew you'd want to meddle!” Put it back in your pants, Todd.
Oh dear Lord. Liz goes up to the police officer and says she's been close to two of the robberies, so can she please read the police reports, please? She's a reporter for that big-time newspaper, The Sweet Valley Sixers. In what universe would this work? I know the Sweet Valley cops are crappy, but that's ridiculous. The cop, thankfully, says no and Liz is left to interrogate a guy who waited on Todd when he was shopping earlier. He was working at Sound Trek when it got robbed but now he's in a Chinese food place's uniform. Suspicious? Not at all, thanks for your time, sir.
Nancy Drew has not only solved this case already, but several more involving the Valley Mall. Now she's partying in the hot tub with the Hardy Boys and Tom Swift.
Then we are subjected to a really boring passage where Liz and Julie lay out The Sixers. Liz wrote reviews of the food places at the Valley Mall. Her review of The Taco Shack, she says she is glad that “Latino cuisine is finally being represented.” I'm sure the Taco Shack cuisine is Latino in the sense that the Latino workers spit in it and laugh at the whites eating it.
Jessica and Lila see who can hang upside down from the monkey bars the longest. Jessica wins. The score is now Lila, 3; Jessica, 2. They decide to have one more event. If Lila wins, it's over but if Jessica wins they'll have a tie breaker. Lila says the winner will get her “pick” of the costumes (wtf?) for the next Booster performance and will also get to be atop the pyramid. Jessica is incensed, as that is usually her place. I told you Lila wouldn't let you jump on top of her!
Liz and Maria discover that Maria's house has been broken into. (No doubt because Liz so cheerfully told those people at the mall that her friend had taped the robbery. Nancy Drew is scoffing at her.) All Maria's videotapes are gone. They wonder what kind of thief only steals VHS tapes. It's too bad Maria only has crappy Liz for a friend. If she knew the awesome Lilly Kane, then she would've learned to hide her tapes in an air vent.
PS, Veronica Mars has joined Nancy Drew in mocking Liz's teen sleuthing skills. She thinks Vinnie Van Lowe is a better detective than Liz. Oooh. Harsh.
Jessica and Liz discuss the robberies. Jessica points out that someone who worked at the mall would be able to get in and out without being detected. She suggests the security guard, Mr. MacDuff, is the culprit. In my head the security guard MacDuff looks like McGruff the Crime Dog. He wants to take a bite out of crime.
Liz finally goes to Maria's house and asks to see the tape (it was luckily not stolen). Wouldn't you think to look at it for clues immediately? Liz is just that slow. She's slower than a tortoise. No, she's slower than the US economy.
Winston decides that the final Booster event will be Lila and Jessica riding their bikes through an obstacle course. Awesome. I bet Winston sat around in his room trying to think up the most ridiculous obstacles ever. And I sort of love him for it. Lila wipes out while going through the mud puddle, so the tiebreaker is on as you knew it would be from the moment the possibility was raised.
Maria, Amy and Liz watch the video again. This time they see a hand reach out and take a necklace from the jewelery store. Seriously, no one noticed that before? They all high five each other for finding a clue.
NANCY: [wakes up] What'd I miss?
VERONICA: Ever see the first 10 minutes of 2001: A Space Odyssey? It was a lot like that.
The trio go to the mall and “pretend to be airhead middle-schoolers” (I'm sure it's a real stretch) but they don't see MacDuff, who they think is the hand in the video. Finally, just as they are about to leave they spot MacDuff, suspiciously hanging around the Chinese place in civilian clothes. But the girls have to go because Maria's mom is there to pick them up.
That noise you hear in the background is Veronica and Nancy buck-snorting with laughter.
While the Wakefield clan is watching TV, the news comes on and tells them that the Chinese place has been robbed. Oh no! Tell me they didn't get the egg rolls!
The next day, Liz is conveniently searching for more clues whilst the Booster tiebreaker contest is going on. Gee, I wonder if these two plots will somehow intersect? Anyway, Janet tells Lila and Jessica they're going to have a hot dog eating contest. (Hey, Jess, if a tiny Japanese dude shows up, then Lila's hired a ringer!)
Liz is convinced that MacDuff is the thief. She tells Amy she is “sure” he is involved. She sneaks into a room marked “Private: Security” and overhears him on the phone. Naturally, he catches her because she is the world's shittiest private detective. He makes her call her parents. Mrs. Wakefield marches Liz out of the mall while Mr. Wakefield has to carry Jessica, who has eaten so much she's made herself ill.
Nancy Drew never had to suffer these indignities.
Lila has won the contest so she gets to pick her costume first, while Jessica has the last pick. Apparently, each costume represents one restaurant in the food court. How any of them could be classy, I'll ever know.
Liz is grounded but doesn't listen to her parents anyway, so that doesn't matter a bit. She rewatches the tape and realizes that the hand has a scar on it. Were they not paying attention at all the first time? Liz swears she's seen that scar before, but she doesn't remember whose hand it was. She assumes it was MacDuff from yesterday. I don't think I would remember people's scars but not their faces, you know? This whole plot is weird.
Well the Boosters pick their costumes. You knew it was coming. Jessica ends up with the crappy one. She has to dress up like a hot dog for the hot dog stand that made her sick yesterday.
Amy, Maria and Liz sneak into the party at the Mall. Did I not mention that before? The food court opening is a big event so they're having a party. Of course the food court has been open for at least a week at this point so I'm not sure they planned this grand opening out well. Whatever, they'll use any excuse to party in Sweet Valley.
Anywho, the coat check guy is the same guy who worked at Sound Trek and then the Chinese joint. Liz notices that he has a scar on his hand! I guess she just thought it was a coincidence that he worked at every store that got robbed the day it was robbed. That's not suspicious at all! The Sweet Valley police must all be drunk to not figure this pattern out. Maybe they come in to work, look at all the open cases and just think to themselves, “Eh. Maybe some random kid will crack the case” and then they spend the day playing solitaire on the computer.
Liz goes to tell Mr. MacDuff that the other guy is the robber. (What the hell has he been up to this whole time?) The bad guy sees them talking--way to be obvious about it, Liz!--and runs away. They run after him. MacDuff tells her to stay back because he might have a gun and Liz is all “Tut tut. I cannot be killed like a regular person. Just ask Crazy Margo.” Actually, she says she has to get him because she solved the mystery. MacDuff should trip her and call her a glory hog.
Jessica sees Liz and MacDuff running and she assumes Liz has proven he's the burglar. So she jumps out to “save” Liz, but the bad guy runs into her (???) and trips. Before Jessica passes out, Liz tells her that she is a hero and Jessica says, “No, I'm a hot dog.” Ba dum bum!*
I defy you all to find me one Nancy Drew story out of the bazillion that have been penned, that is solved by a dude tripping over a hot dog. DEFY!
To celebrate their girls being heroes (and disobeying them), Liz is un-grounded.
... And that's it. The end has no Lilly in a pool or smelling bacon or anything fun like that. That sucks. To make up for it, I give you Lilly!
*Sometimes a sandwich is referred to as a hero. I'm told this is mostly in the Northeastern United States and apparently also Sweet Valley. And, yes, when I have to explain the big joke that is sad. I bet the writers sat around for days trying to think up that pun.
I know what you're thinking. “Not the mall! Steal from the museum! Library! Take a priceless artifact! Just don't hurt the mall!” But, yes, it's true. The mall is robbed. But don't worry (?), Elizabeth Wakefield is on the case!
I don't like to joke about these things, but doesn't Liz look mentally challenged on the cover? The artist wasn't that far off, actually.
Maria Slater asked Liz to come over and help her learn to use her new video camera. Of course, Liz, being the self-absorbed horror that she is, is busy reading her new “Amanda Howard” mystery. Amanda Howard is like Dancy Nrew. I would make fun of Liz for reading Nancy Drew books, but-confession time-I still read them. And I do recaps at titian_blonde occasionally. Though Nancy isn't as fun to recap because she's awesome.
Maria used to be an actress, in case you haven't heard. She thinks if she never gets her career back, it will be good to have a backup plan. Said backup plan is becoming a director. Like that's not hard either. Anyway, the Boosters are giving a “special performance” at the mall tomorrow and Maria wants to film it for practice.
Later, Liz continues to be rude and read her Dancy Nrew mystery at the dinner table. Steven says this means she's going to start snooping out non-existent mysteries now. I'd mock, but Steven knows his sister. Liz probably has one of those big, big magnifying glasses and goes around town looking for “clues.”
The next day, the Boosters are getting ready to perform at the mall like they're Tiffany or some shit. Apparently the mall got a new food court and it's a “major media event.” Don't laugh! You know malls are the center of the Sweet Valley universe. The Boosters have to wear t-shirts that say “The Valley Mall: An International Dining Experience.” Because they have a Taco Shack and a Chinese joint. I suppose that is as diverse as they get in Sweet Valley.
Why Lila would allow anyone to video tape her in that shirt is beyond me. But Maria and Liz prepare to tape the routine, only to be told to move by a woman from Precious Stones jewelery store who says they are too close.
We're told that the Booster's signature move is Jessica running and leaping atop a six person pyramid. Is that even possible? I can't imagine Janet and Lila allowing Jess to jump on top of them. Also? This is one of their cheers and I am not making this up:
Tacos, pizza chicken!
Egg rolls, hot dogs, spuds!
Smoothies are so finger-lickin',
Come on and bring your buds!
To the Valley Mall! Valley Mall! Valley Mall!
An international dining extravaganza!
Liz stupidly asks Maria if they mean “taste buds” or “buddies” when they say bring your buds. What I want to know is why you'd lick your fingers after drinking a smoothie. Do they not have straws in Sweet Valley?
Jessica attempts her leap, but right as she's about to land, there is the sound of breaking glass. Everyone tumbles to the floor. Shocker! There has been a robbery at the mall! Who would have ever guessed that would happen in this book?
Liz immediately puts on her Dancy Nrew hat and starts noting people in the vicinity as suspects. Let me say, Liz's “mysteries” are more like advanced meddling and sticking her nose in shit. Nancy is asked to help most of the time.
The next day, Liz waits for the paper to read about the robbery. The next day? Seriously? Nancy Drew would have solved this mystery already. She's at home watching Hannah Gruen make her ten thousandth “You Solved the Case!” cake right about now.
In a bizarre moment of parenting, Alice tells Liz not to look into the case. She cites the Charm School Mystery as an example of her getting in trouble for sticking her nose in someone else's business. Liz, of course, doesn't listen to her mother.
At Casey's, Lila gets pissed when Jessica suggests a “good Booster” would not have lost their concentration when the emergency alarm went off, thus allowing her to tumble to the ground. Lila takes offense and vows to prove she's a better Booster than Jessica. I know gymnasts are taught to keep their concentration no matter what is going on in the background. But then alarms are supposed to get your attention, you know?
Amy helps Liz review the clues. It is literally the most boring scene ever.
Lila has everyone over to her awesome house to view the video Maria made of the performance. I amuse myself by assuming Lila literally rolled out a red carpet for the “premiere.” We're told that Lila's house is opulent because she has a VCR. But this was written in 1994; I can't imagine it was that impressive then. We're told belatedly that Lila and Jessica had a high jump competition as part of proving who is a better Booster. I have no idea what that has to do with anything. But Lila won and I would've liked to see this contest “on screen” but the ghostwriter saw fit to show ups Liz and Am going over her “clues” instead.
Turns out Maria was looking through the wrong “hole” (dirty!) when she filmed the Boosters and the movie is all out of focus and terrible. She cries, thinking it's the worst movie she's ever seen. She's obviously not seen the movies of my purse I shoot when I accidentally hit a button on my camera phone. Maria wants to quit her career as a director but only St. Liz says she'll get the hang of it. The Boosters all get mad at Maria and say she's sabotaging them. Apparently they need an “audition” video for something to do with the Mall. They should've had someone else film them then.
Detective Liz doesn't think to look at the video for “clues.” Nancy Drew is off-screen calling her a “n00b” and laughing with Bess and George.
Jessica and Lila have a fence-walking competition. That means they have to walk across the top of Lila's fence. Jessica falls. Again, what this has to do with being a Booster is a complete mystery. We should hire Nancy Drew to solve it.
Liz, Amy, et al are in the Sixers office (they're running a piece on tennis rackets by Bruce Patman) when breaking news about the mall. Another store has been robbed! This time it's the card shop. Oh noes! Someone is stealing the greeting cards! Not the greeting cards!
Amy watches the TV interview with the gruff security guard (His name is MacDuff and I hear he was not of woman born), and says aloud, “Maybe it was an inside job.” Liz tells Amy she's a genius.
Nancy Drew is watching with Bess and George all, “I never let them figure things out before me.” And Bess is like, “Yeah, she'd kick our ass.”
Jessica and Lila are having a contest to see who can put the most grapes in their mouth at the Unicorner. Tamara asks what this has to do with being a Booster (that's what I wanted to know) and Winston tells her to hush up because this shit is hysterical. Ha. With one sentence, I suddenly love this B plot. Jessica wins. Who would have guessed she'd be good at shoving ball-like things into her mouth? Not I.
Liz, Amy, Maria and Todd go to the Mall and have finger-lickin' smoothies. Liz wants to look for new clues but Amy and Maria refuse to be her Bess and George. They take the bus (the bus!) home, leaving her with crappy Ned NickersonTodd who has three smoothies and then goes and buys electronics at “Sound Trek.” No, that's really the name of the store. I'm not making that up.
Lila and Jessica swim laps in the Wakefield's pool. Lila wins. Probably because she has enough money to get Michael Phelps to train her. Steven has to rescue Jessica from the pool.
Liz is in her room trying to think of a word for citrus-flavored, when the phone rings. Her options are citrusness, citrusion, and citrosity. This book is a freaking citrosity, is what I say. Anyway, it's Todd letting her know there's been another robbery. Todd is so trying to hit on Liz. He's all, “I called you as soon as I heard, I knew you'd want to meddle!” Put it back in your pants, Todd.
Oh dear Lord. Liz goes up to the police officer and says she's been close to two of the robberies, so can she please read the police reports, please? She's a reporter for that big-time newspaper, The Sweet Valley Sixers. In what universe would this work? I know the Sweet Valley cops are crappy, but that's ridiculous. The cop, thankfully, says no and Liz is left to interrogate a guy who waited on Todd when he was shopping earlier. He was working at Sound Trek when it got robbed but now he's in a Chinese food place's uniform. Suspicious? Not at all, thanks for your time, sir.
Nancy Drew has not only solved this case already, but several more involving the Valley Mall. Now she's partying in the hot tub with the Hardy Boys and Tom Swift.
Then we are subjected to a really boring passage where Liz and Julie lay out The Sixers. Liz wrote reviews of the food places at the Valley Mall. Her review of The Taco Shack, she says she is glad that “Latino cuisine is finally being represented.” I'm sure the Taco Shack cuisine is Latino in the sense that the Latino workers spit in it and laugh at the whites eating it.
Jessica and Lila see who can hang upside down from the monkey bars the longest. Jessica wins. The score is now Lila, 3; Jessica, 2. They decide to have one more event. If Lila wins, it's over but if Jessica wins they'll have a tie breaker. Lila says the winner will get her “pick” of the costumes (wtf?) for the next Booster performance and will also get to be atop the pyramid. Jessica is incensed, as that is usually her place. I told you Lila wouldn't let you jump on top of her!
Liz and Maria discover that Maria's house has been broken into. (No doubt because Liz so cheerfully told those people at the mall that her friend had taped the robbery. Nancy Drew is scoffing at her.) All Maria's videotapes are gone. They wonder what kind of thief only steals VHS tapes. It's too bad Maria only has crappy Liz for a friend. If she knew the awesome Lilly Kane, then she would've learned to hide her tapes in an air vent.
PS, Veronica Mars has joined Nancy Drew in mocking Liz's teen sleuthing skills. She thinks Vinnie Van Lowe is a better detective than Liz. Oooh. Harsh.
Jessica and Liz discuss the robberies. Jessica points out that someone who worked at the mall would be able to get in and out without being detected. She suggests the security guard, Mr. MacDuff, is the culprit. In my head the security guard MacDuff looks like McGruff the Crime Dog. He wants to take a bite out of crime.
Liz finally goes to Maria's house and asks to see the tape (it was luckily not stolen). Wouldn't you think to look at it for clues immediately? Liz is just that slow. She's slower than a tortoise. No, she's slower than the US economy.
Winston decides that the final Booster event will be Lila and Jessica riding their bikes through an obstacle course. Awesome. I bet Winston sat around in his room trying to think up the most ridiculous obstacles ever. And I sort of love him for it. Lila wipes out while going through the mud puddle, so the tiebreaker is on as you knew it would be from the moment the possibility was raised.
Maria, Amy and Liz watch the video again. This time they see a hand reach out and take a necklace from the jewelery store. Seriously, no one noticed that before? They all high five each other for finding a clue.
NANCY: [wakes up] What'd I miss?
VERONICA: Ever see the first 10 minutes of 2001: A Space Odyssey? It was a lot like that.
The trio go to the mall and “pretend to be airhead middle-schoolers” (I'm sure it's a real stretch) but they don't see MacDuff, who they think is the hand in the video. Finally, just as they are about to leave they spot MacDuff, suspiciously hanging around the Chinese place in civilian clothes. But the girls have to go because Maria's mom is there to pick them up.
That noise you hear in the background is Veronica and Nancy buck-snorting with laughter.
While the Wakefield clan is watching TV, the news comes on and tells them that the Chinese place has been robbed. Oh no! Tell me they didn't get the egg rolls!
The next day, Liz is conveniently searching for more clues whilst the Booster tiebreaker contest is going on. Gee, I wonder if these two plots will somehow intersect? Anyway, Janet tells Lila and Jessica they're going to have a hot dog eating contest. (Hey, Jess, if a tiny Japanese dude shows up, then Lila's hired a ringer!)
Liz is convinced that MacDuff is the thief. She tells Amy she is “sure” he is involved. She sneaks into a room marked “Private: Security” and overhears him on the phone. Naturally, he catches her because she is the world's shittiest private detective. He makes her call her parents. Mrs. Wakefield marches Liz out of the mall while Mr. Wakefield has to carry Jessica, who has eaten so much she's made herself ill.
Nancy Drew never had to suffer these indignities.
Lila has won the contest so she gets to pick her costume first, while Jessica has the last pick. Apparently, each costume represents one restaurant in the food court. How any of them could be classy, I'll ever know.
Liz is grounded but doesn't listen to her parents anyway, so that doesn't matter a bit. She rewatches the tape and realizes that the hand has a scar on it. Were they not paying attention at all the first time? Liz swears she's seen that scar before, but she doesn't remember whose hand it was. She assumes it was MacDuff from yesterday. I don't think I would remember people's scars but not their faces, you know? This whole plot is weird.
Well the Boosters pick their costumes. You knew it was coming. Jessica ends up with the crappy one. She has to dress up like a hot dog for the hot dog stand that made her sick yesterday.
Amy, Maria and Liz sneak into the party at the Mall. Did I not mention that before? The food court opening is a big event so they're having a party. Of course the food court has been open for at least a week at this point so I'm not sure they planned this grand opening out well. Whatever, they'll use any excuse to party in Sweet Valley.
Anywho, the coat check guy is the same guy who worked at Sound Trek and then the Chinese joint. Liz notices that he has a scar on his hand! I guess she just thought it was a coincidence that he worked at every store that got robbed the day it was robbed. That's not suspicious at all! The Sweet Valley police must all be drunk to not figure this pattern out. Maybe they come in to work, look at all the open cases and just think to themselves, “Eh. Maybe some random kid will crack the case” and then they spend the day playing solitaire on the computer.
Liz goes to tell Mr. MacDuff that the other guy is the robber. (What the hell has he been up to this whole time?) The bad guy sees them talking--way to be obvious about it, Liz!--and runs away. They run after him. MacDuff tells her to stay back because he might have a gun and Liz is all “Tut tut. I cannot be killed like a regular person. Just ask Crazy Margo.” Actually, she says she has to get him because she solved the mystery. MacDuff should trip her and call her a glory hog.
Jessica sees Liz and MacDuff running and she assumes Liz has proven he's the burglar. So she jumps out to “save” Liz, but the bad guy runs into her (???) and trips. Before Jessica passes out, Liz tells her that she is a hero and Jessica says, “No, I'm a hot dog.” Ba dum bum!*
I defy you all to find me one Nancy Drew story out of the bazillion that have been penned, that is solved by a dude tripping over a hot dog. DEFY!
To celebrate their girls being heroes (and disobeying them), Liz is un-grounded.
... And that's it. The end has no Lilly in a pool or smelling bacon or anything fun like that. That sucks. To make up for it, I give you Lilly!
Click to view*Sometimes a sandwich is referred to as a hero. I'm told this is mostly in the Northeastern United States and apparently also Sweet Valley. And, yes, when I have to explain the big joke that is sad. I bet the writers sat around for days trying to think up that pun.