SVHSY #45 Tia in the Middle
Last time Trent was being a douchebag to Tia and Jeremy, Mr. Wu was being a jerk to Jade, and everyone was being horrible to Jessica.
Every one of these books I read is worse than the one before it. Probably because the first three had lots of Melissa and these last two have essentially none. Well, here goes nothing.
The beginning journal entries give us a hint to what the book will be about: Jessica tries to be optimistic about her future long-distance relationship with Jeremy; Jeffrey French tries to convince himself that it's no big deal that NYU rejected him--he can still work in the music industry without a degree from there; Alanna bitches about how she doesn't want to go to Tufts, except that Conner is probably going to go to Belmont a half-mile away and she can't live without his moody ass; Conner writes that it'd be incredible to go to Belmont if Alanna is nearby, but if he doesn't get in he might not go to college. He'll just be a guitar-playing hobo or something.
Speaking of the character I'd most like to trip into a pool of lava, Alanna is supposed to meet Sandra, her AA sponsor, at a coffee shop. As she gets there she realizes that she forgot to check the mail for her Tufts rejection/acceptance and her mom will be home soon! Oh noes! Since Sandra hasn't arrived yet, Alanna races back home, having to pretend that she doesn't see her mom as she flies right past her. This is supposed to be funny, but it's stupid. Who cares if Mom finds out first? She WILL find out. Alanna is such a secretive bitch. She finds the THIN letter from Tufts, and sure enough, it's a rejection. Tufts, you are so smart. I'd reject Alanna everytime, too. By the time Alanna gets back to the coffee shop, Sandra's already gone. Because Alanna didn't race right back. She took her time to cry like a crybaby, so of course the woman already left.
At the Spanish-tiled Wakefield house, Jessica takes Liz's advice and calls Steven to ask if he'll show her around SVU so that she can get excited about college. Steven invites her to his frat party. Sigma Nu. I remember that there were Sigmas at SVU, but were they Nu's? Also, since when is Steven one of them? And living at the frat house? Hasn't he always lived in that damn apartment off campus with Billie the girl? Anyway, I don't think a good, protective, older brother should be inviting his little sister to a frat party, but whatever. She invites Liz to go with, but Liz has to go to DJ Jeff's deejay-ing thing that night. Apparently this is a really big one for him and it's where he finally comes up with the name DJ Splendid. It reminds me of Splenda. It makes sense to meet that Jeffrey is a fake sweetener.
Jeffrey is freaking out at home because he can't find anything to wear for his big night. He calls Liz and she thinks that he should spend more time on his set list, but he tells her that since he's partnering with this "really killer dj", he does't have to bring any of his own vinyl. This other guy, Lance, is bringing his own and Jeff would just screw up the guy's flow. Liz agrees to go shopping with him and they can't find a darn thing. He even tries on leather pants which Liz admires his butt in a lot. Liz, you're dumb. They're losing more and more time until Liz makes the best suggestion ever: "You know how glam rockers always have at least some piece of women's clothing in their outfits? Well, I was thinking that you could try the same thing. Maybe we could head back to my house and see what Jessica's closets have to offer."
Liz even thinks that this is either a "stroke of genius" or just "really really stupid". It's stupid, Liz. STUPID! She even thinks that she doesn't know how she feels about her boyfriend borrowing clothes from her sister, but guess what? JEFFREY LOVES THE IDEA! I think he needs to taste the rainbow with Tom McKay.
Tia comes over to Conner's house and announces that she has a fabulous idea: she, Conner, and Andy going on a road trip for a few weeks right after school lets out. They'll go up the coast to San Francisco and up to Seattle where they can check out all Conner's favorite bands. He likes the idea, but won't agree until he talks to Alanna. Tia goes apeshit at this because she's tired of Conner being "Mr. Alanna Feldman" as it says on the back of the book. She wants him to agree without discussing it with anyone, and he thinks she's being a bossy bitch. She thinks he's a wimp. They're both right!
Elizabeth and Jeffrey arrive at Jessica's room and she makes him wait outside while she tells Jess what's up. Jeffrey gets a little embarrassed (only now??) because he can hear the girls laughing at the idea that he wants to borrow clothes from a girl. Jess throws him the only three shirts that she thinks might fit him and he goes into Liz's room to change while Jess tries on things for the frat party. She finds a PURPLE peasant blouse and I get so excited thinking about SVT days and the Unicorns! Jeffrey comes in wearing one of Liz's shirts because Jessica's were too small. Since the twins are the same size, I guess this means that Jessica just wears tighter clothing than Liz...or Liz is getting ready for that freshman fifteen she gains a bit early. Anyway, this shirt is too small, too, and he points at Jessica's purple peasant blouse, "I want that." Oh, Jeffrey. No. A long-sleeved ruffled button down shirt, MAYBE. A peasant blouse, NEVER! And a purple one!
Jess insists that she's wearing it until Liz recalls that Jess has one just like it that's white with embroidered flowers on the hem, so she decides to wear that instead and let Jeff borrow the other. I shake my head, but secretly hope for a scene where Jeff is laughed out of the club for his fashion faux pas. The girls think he looks fab and that bothers me most of all. Liz thinks to herself that Conner never would have done that and then sweeps the thought away because she. does. not. want. Conner! Grr! Ghostwriters, stop making me want them together!
At the club Jeff gets yelled at by the owner for being twenty minutes late, even though Jeff got there when he was told to. Then he finds out that Lance can't make it! His car broke down! So Jeffrey is there in the purple peasant blouse, but without any records. When the guy finds out, he flips his shit and fires Jeff. Jeff offers to go home and get his stuff because he can be back in twenty minutes, but the guy just yells more and tells him to leave.
Jeremy calls to ask Jessica out, but she tells him she's going to the frat party. He gets pissed, but she explains that she's only going so that she can try to get excited about college because she's so bummed that he's going to Arizona. He's bothered, but doesn't ask to go with her or ask her not to go, so she does. The party has barely begun when she gets there, but she's feeling out of place and decides that she wants to go out with Jeremy after all. She asks Steven if she can use his phone, but he says that it's upstairs and they're not allowed to have girls on the second floor. WHAT THE HELL? Is the second floor the chastity wing? I'm pretty sure that frat guys get laid every now and again (unless they're in ZBT or something...that was the nerdy frat at my school...they had 2-3 cool guys in there), so I call shenanigans AND plot contrivance on this one.
Jess goes to a pay phone outside, but a cute guy stops her, offering her two--no, three--altoids if she lets him use the phone first. They start to lightly flirt / joke around a little. Even though I'm always on the lookout for cheating cheaters because of Liz, this conversation with Zander is simply cute. Apparently he's a friend of Steven's, too. He offers to give her a tour of the campus when he finds out why she's there and even though I mentally scream at her not to, she agrees. Stupid Jessica. Just when you were becoming the responsible and best-in-all-areas-except-shoulder-patting twin! She has a good time and at the end of the night he asks for her phone number and e-mail address; she gives them to him, but immediately thinks that she shouldn't have, that Jeremy wouldn't like it. Good for you, Jess! She tells herself that Zander won't call her anyway, so it won't matter. I bet you're wrong.
Liz goes to the club and Jeffrey finds her and tells her that he was fired and this is a sign from above that he shouldn't be a dj. Keep in mind that he's also been rejected from NYU, another sign, but he doesn't tell Liz about that one. All the while he whines and moans, Liz thinks snarky thoughts about how he should have listened to her about getting a set list together and not spent so much time trying to be Mick Jagger. Jeffrey should have listened to her in the first place to ensure that she'd shut up later. There's nothing Liz likes better than being right and having everyone know it. Well, that and cheating on boyfriends with ex-boyfriends.
Tia e-mails Conner and apologizes. Jeremy e-mails Jessica to say that he missed her that day and he can't wait to see her at lunch tomorrow.
Jeffrey's at home not sleeping. He happens upon some old articles he wrote for the Oracle last year and decides that he's going to be a writer instead of a musician. Well, that was an easy decision, wasn't it? Problem solved! He better look out, though. Liz doesn't like it when others move in on her turf.
Alanna goes to Conner's house and she points out that he got an envelope from Belmont. Sure enough it's an acceptance. He's not terribly excited until he sees another letter with it: he's been awarded some scholarship that's essentially a full ride to Belmont. Now he can get excited! But Alanna is a selfish bitch and she freaks out and leaves because he's going to Boston without her. Screw you, Alanna. I'm so tired of these kids being jerks when they're friends or significant others get accepted to a school far away from them...except for Jessica. She got upset, but she does want what's best for Jeremy. Well, sort of. You'll see.
Jeremy's at Jessica's house, watching her make them sandwiches for a picnic that she suggested after receiving his sweet little e-mail. He thinks she's totally hot while she does this little thing, and they actually are kind of cute together and not gross and annoying like Elizabeth and Jeffrey. The phone rings while they're kissing and Jess says to let the machine get it. Of course it's Zander and he says enough to be incriminating before she runs over and answers, but not enough that she can't explain it to Jeremy. She says that she didn't want to give her brother's friend a fake number, but she also didn't expect him to ever use it. Jeremy buys this because he's given girls his number and then just not answered when they called. Real nice, Jeremy, except I've definitely done the whole not answering the phone thing to avoid some guys, so we can still be pals.
Zander e-mails Jess asking to give her a tour of SVU and then play tennis right after. She agrees and now I don't know what to think about her! Cheater! Conner e-mails Tia back and tells her that they're cool, but he's not going on the road trip because he needs to work all summer for spending money at college. Tia's gonna LOVE that!
Alanna meets with her sponsor and tells her about Tufts and freaking out on Conner. Sandra remarks that even one of those things could be upsetting enough to drive an alcholic straight to the bottle, but Alanna realizes that she was never even tempted to drink! Probably because she's not a real alcoholic. I bet that she was just pretending to get attention from her parents, to meet Conner at rehab, and to steal him from Liz in the process. SLUT! Sandra also reveals that she's thinking about going back to school and getting her doctorate in psychology from UCLA. UCLA is Alanna's safety school and now Alanna thinks she might want to do that, too. I'd like to suggest that being a clown is awesome because the way Alanna makes her decisions based on others' opinions, I bet she'd fill out an application to Clown College.
Conner comes to Alanna's house and they hang out in her bedroom with the door shut. Whatever. I moved out of my parents' house for good when I was 23 and I was still never allowed to have a guy in there with the door closed. BAD PARENTING. Alanna lets him know that Tufts rejected her and Conner is really disappointed because he was "really looking forward to hanging out with you in Boston next year." Alanna squeals to herself that this is the nicest thing that Conner has ever said to her and if that's true she should have dumped him in rehab. My boyfriend says nice things to me all the time, like the time he said I'd be a better owner of the Washington Redskins than stupid Dan Snyder (team ruiner!) because I'd make the team better than he does with all his stupid money. My boyfriend knows just what to say to get me to shut up for a minute. Sigh.
Trent, Tia, Conner, Alanna, Andy, and Dave get together to celebrate Dave getting into Columbia University, and when Alanna and Tia are alone, Alanna tells Tia a secret: she's not going to go to college next year! She's going to move to Boston and live close to Conner at Belmont! That's a fabulous idea! Seriously! You should get pregnant, too! Then Conner can be yours FOREVER! During the car ride home, Alanna reveals her plan to Conner and it bothers him, but he doesn't know why. I know why, Conner! She's going to leech onto you! Runaway fast! Go to Liz! She's a cheating cheater and you're an ex-boyfriend, so she'll definitely make out with you! (You might have to hide in the closet if Jeffrey comes over, though. Ask him about the time HE did that while she made out with Todd. I'm sure you'll have a good laugh together and become best friends).
Jeremy tries to make a date with Jessica for Monday afternoon, but she says that she has things to do at home, but she can go to his place around 7pm. LIES!
At school, Liz sees a boring looking guy walking towards her. He smiles and IT TAKES HER THAT LONG TO RECOGNIZE HER OWN BOYFRIEND. Good God. He cut his hair all off, too, now that he's not going to be a dj anymore. He asks her if she can think of an article idea for him for the last edition of the Oracle. When she asks about NYU he doesn't tell her he was rejected, just that he doesn't want to go after all, and he'll go to school with her. Now I'm confused because even though she's planning on SVU, there's still that Oxford scholarship she's trying to get. If she gets it and goes (she won't), Jeff can't follow her. He's even dumber than I imagine he looks.
Tia and Conner talk about Alanna's dumb plan; Tia tells him that it's dumb and a bad idea, but Conner disagrees with her. Boring. I know that Tia is right, but since she's so obnoxious sometimes, I'd side with Conner just to piss her off. Tia goes from that to see Jessica wearing a tennis skirt and hounds her about what she's doing that afternoon. She goes bloodhound on her when she can tell that Jess doesn't want to talk about it. Another reason why Tia's a bossy bitch. Anyway, I remember girls wearing tennis skirts all the time in high school. After school. Playing tennis. Huh. Maybe it was in college that the sorority girls wore them. Anyway, I don't see the big deal, but everyone else did and now Tia's calling Jessica on it. After a grueling inquisition, Jess tells Tia the truth, and Tia rightly calls it as a passive-aggressive attempt to remind Jeremy that she'll be surrounded by guys at college and he won't be around. Jess denies it, but does think that Tia's right.
She plays tennis with Zander and has a good time, but calls it quits in time to meet Jeremy, but not before driving Zander back to his dorm. This is significant because he leaves his tennis racket in the backseat and Jeremy sees it when Jess comes to his house. He calls her out on lying to him about doing things at home and she admits that he's right and apologizes. She tells him that she's just trying to get excited about college and it has nothing to do with Zander or any other guy. The only guy she wants is Jeremy. He accepts her apology, but tells her not to lie to him anymore (fair enough), and they're good again, though he's still worried about the long-distance relationship. He comes to SVH during lunch the next day and tells Jess that he's jealous and that he can't stand the thought of being away from her for three or four years and always worrying about some guy snatching her away, so he's made up his mind that he's going to SVU with her! They're both raptuorously happy, but we all know this can't last. Jeremy Aames is never heard from during SVU.
Conner's at Alanna's house again and while using her computer sees a stack of UCLA Psychology papers on her desk. She claims that they're for her sponsor, but he can tell she's lying (yay!)
Jeffrey tells his parents that he doesn't want to go to NYU. Geez, Jeff! Just tell them you didn't get in! As all good Sweet Valley parents do, Jeff's parents celebrate his wise decision by taking him out for sushi.
Steven and Zander come to the Wakefields' house so that Zander can get his racket back. While he's there, he asks Jessica out, but she refuses saying that she has a boyfriend and he's coming with her to SVU. Zander gives a warning story about how he wanted to go to SVU for swimming, but his high school girlfriend wanted to go to some school in Chicago. He went there and hated swimming for a losing Division II team instead of for SVU's awesome Division I team. They started fighting a lot until they broke up and he transferred to SVU. Jessica freaks out and starts looking up archaeology programs for California schools, but none have very good ones. Finally she looks at SVU (shouldn't she have looked there first?) but they only have two professors for the subject and anyone with the major has to take courses in the anthropology program. She gets really really upset because she knows that Jeremy will have to go to Arizona, after all, and she doesn't want him to follow her and later resent her for it. VERY MATURE! Yay, Jess! But, sucks about the whole long-distance thing. Sorry.
At an AA meeting, Alanna arrives to see Sandra and Conner sitting by each other. Sandra hands Alanna some more UCLA Psychology information, which sucks because Conner is right there and Alanna can't pretend that away like she does everything else. He goes home with her and they have a fight about her lying to him and because he's decided it's not a good idea for her to follow him to Boston. Even though it's not spelled out, it seems like they've broken up FINALLY!!!!! Conner leaves and Mrs. Feldman goes upstairs and comforts her daughter. She's actually an okay mom and Alanna should be a lot nicer to her. She encourages Alanna to go to UCLA and to pursue psychology and says she thinks she'd be good at it. Good for you, Mrs. Feldman. Wanna be my mom? You can buy me things and I'll actually tell you about my life unlike your ungrateful whelp.
Jeff goes by the Oracle to see about an article idea from Liz. She can't think of a good one and he tells her not to worry because he comes up with the best ideas on his own. Then why did you waste her time? He leaves and then Liz steps on a paper on the floor. She picks it up and it's something from the guidance office and it says that Jeffrey was rejected from NYU. So now she knows, though she tells herself that he wouldn't lie to her. Why not? You do it all the time to him.
Jessica goes to Jeremy's house and tearfully tells him about Zander coming over and his whole sob story. She tells Jeremy that he has to go to Arizona if their relationship has a shot. It doesn't have a shot, Jess, not at all.
I've requested the next two books from the library. I hope they get better than this crap.
Every one of these books I read is worse than the one before it. Probably because the first three had lots of Melissa and these last two have essentially none. Well, here goes nothing.
The beginning journal entries give us a hint to what the book will be about: Jessica tries to be optimistic about her future long-distance relationship with Jeremy; Jeffrey French tries to convince himself that it's no big deal that NYU rejected him--he can still work in the music industry without a degree from there; Alanna bitches about how she doesn't want to go to Tufts, except that Conner is probably going to go to Belmont a half-mile away and she can't live without his moody ass; Conner writes that it'd be incredible to go to Belmont if Alanna is nearby, but if he doesn't get in he might not go to college. He'll just be a guitar-playing hobo or something.
Speaking of the character I'd most like to trip into a pool of lava, Alanna is supposed to meet Sandra, her AA sponsor, at a coffee shop. As she gets there she realizes that she forgot to check the mail for her Tufts rejection/acceptance and her mom will be home soon! Oh noes! Since Sandra hasn't arrived yet, Alanna races back home, having to pretend that she doesn't see her mom as she flies right past her. This is supposed to be funny, but it's stupid. Who cares if Mom finds out first? She WILL find out. Alanna is such a secretive bitch. She finds the THIN letter from Tufts, and sure enough, it's a rejection. Tufts, you are so smart. I'd reject Alanna everytime, too. By the time Alanna gets back to the coffee shop, Sandra's already gone. Because Alanna didn't race right back. She took her time to cry like a crybaby, so of course the woman already left.
At the Spanish-tiled Wakefield house, Jessica takes Liz's advice and calls Steven to ask if he'll show her around SVU so that she can get excited about college. Steven invites her to his frat party. Sigma Nu. I remember that there were Sigmas at SVU, but were they Nu's? Also, since when is Steven one of them? And living at the frat house? Hasn't he always lived in that damn apartment off campus with Billie the girl? Anyway, I don't think a good, protective, older brother should be inviting his little sister to a frat party, but whatever. She invites Liz to go with, but Liz has to go to DJ Jeff's deejay-ing thing that night. Apparently this is a really big one for him and it's where he finally comes up with the name DJ Splendid. It reminds me of Splenda. It makes sense to meet that Jeffrey is a fake sweetener.
Jeffrey is freaking out at home because he can't find anything to wear for his big night. He calls Liz and she thinks that he should spend more time on his set list, but he tells her that since he's partnering with this "really killer dj", he does't have to bring any of his own vinyl. This other guy, Lance, is bringing his own and Jeff would just screw up the guy's flow. Liz agrees to go shopping with him and they can't find a darn thing. He even tries on leather pants which Liz admires his butt in a lot. Liz, you're dumb. They're losing more and more time until Liz makes the best suggestion ever: "You know how glam rockers always have at least some piece of women's clothing in their outfits? Well, I was thinking that you could try the same thing. Maybe we could head back to my house and see what Jessica's closets have to offer."
Liz even thinks that this is either a "stroke of genius" or just "really really stupid". It's stupid, Liz. STUPID! She even thinks that she doesn't know how she feels about her boyfriend borrowing clothes from her sister, but guess what? JEFFREY LOVES THE IDEA! I think he needs to taste the rainbow with Tom McKay.
Tia comes over to Conner's house and announces that she has a fabulous idea: she, Conner, and Andy going on a road trip for a few weeks right after school lets out. They'll go up the coast to San Francisco and up to Seattle where they can check out all Conner's favorite bands. He likes the idea, but won't agree until he talks to Alanna. Tia goes apeshit at this because she's tired of Conner being "Mr. Alanna Feldman" as it says on the back of the book. She wants him to agree without discussing it with anyone, and he thinks she's being a bossy bitch. She thinks he's a wimp. They're both right!
Elizabeth and Jeffrey arrive at Jessica's room and she makes him wait outside while she tells Jess what's up. Jeffrey gets a little embarrassed (only now??) because he can hear the girls laughing at the idea that he wants to borrow clothes from a girl. Jess throws him the only three shirts that she thinks might fit him and he goes into Liz's room to change while Jess tries on things for the frat party. She finds a PURPLE peasant blouse and I get so excited thinking about SVT days and the Unicorns! Jeffrey comes in wearing one of Liz's shirts because Jessica's were too small. Since the twins are the same size, I guess this means that Jessica just wears tighter clothing than Liz...or Liz is getting ready for that freshman fifteen she gains a bit early. Anyway, this shirt is too small, too, and he points at Jessica's purple peasant blouse, "I want that." Oh, Jeffrey. No. A long-sleeved ruffled button down shirt, MAYBE. A peasant blouse, NEVER! And a purple one!
Jess insists that she's wearing it until Liz recalls that Jess has one just like it that's white with embroidered flowers on the hem, so she decides to wear that instead and let Jeff borrow the other. I shake my head, but secretly hope for a scene where Jeff is laughed out of the club for his fashion faux pas. The girls think he looks fab and that bothers me most of all. Liz thinks to herself that Conner never would have done that and then sweeps the thought away because she. does. not. want. Conner! Grr! Ghostwriters, stop making me want them together!
At the club Jeff gets yelled at by the owner for being twenty minutes late, even though Jeff got there when he was told to. Then he finds out that Lance can't make it! His car broke down! So Jeffrey is there in the purple peasant blouse, but without any records. When the guy finds out, he flips his shit and fires Jeff. Jeff offers to go home and get his stuff because he can be back in twenty minutes, but the guy just yells more and tells him to leave.
Jeremy calls to ask Jessica out, but she tells him she's going to the frat party. He gets pissed, but she explains that she's only going so that she can try to get excited about college because she's so bummed that he's going to Arizona. He's bothered, but doesn't ask to go with her or ask her not to go, so she does. The party has barely begun when she gets there, but she's feeling out of place and decides that she wants to go out with Jeremy after all. She asks Steven if she can use his phone, but he says that it's upstairs and they're not allowed to have girls on the second floor. WHAT THE HELL? Is the second floor the chastity wing? I'm pretty sure that frat guys get laid every now and again (unless they're in ZBT or something...that was the nerdy frat at my school...they had 2-3 cool guys in there), so I call shenanigans AND plot contrivance on this one.
Jess goes to a pay phone outside, but a cute guy stops her, offering her two--no, three--altoids if she lets him use the phone first. They start to lightly flirt / joke around a little. Even though I'm always on the lookout for cheating cheaters because of Liz, this conversation with Zander is simply cute. Apparently he's a friend of Steven's, too. He offers to give her a tour of the campus when he finds out why she's there and even though I mentally scream at her not to, she agrees. Stupid Jessica. Just when you were becoming the responsible and best-in-all-areas-except-shoulder-patting twin! She has a good time and at the end of the night he asks for her phone number and e-mail address; she gives them to him, but immediately thinks that she shouldn't have, that Jeremy wouldn't like it. Good for you, Jess! She tells herself that Zander won't call her anyway, so it won't matter. I bet you're wrong.
Liz goes to the club and Jeffrey finds her and tells her that he was fired and this is a sign from above that he shouldn't be a dj. Keep in mind that he's also been rejected from NYU, another sign, but he doesn't tell Liz about that one. All the while he whines and moans, Liz thinks snarky thoughts about how he should have listened to her about getting a set list together and not spent so much time trying to be Mick Jagger. Jeffrey should have listened to her in the first place to ensure that she'd shut up later. There's nothing Liz likes better than being right and having everyone know it. Well, that and cheating on boyfriends with ex-boyfriends.
Tia e-mails Conner and apologizes. Jeremy e-mails Jessica to say that he missed her that day and he can't wait to see her at lunch tomorrow.
Jeffrey's at home not sleeping. He happens upon some old articles he wrote for the Oracle last year and decides that he's going to be a writer instead of a musician. Well, that was an easy decision, wasn't it? Problem solved! He better look out, though. Liz doesn't like it when others move in on her turf.
Alanna goes to Conner's house and she points out that he got an envelope from Belmont. Sure enough it's an acceptance. He's not terribly excited until he sees another letter with it: he's been awarded some scholarship that's essentially a full ride to Belmont. Now he can get excited! But Alanna is a selfish bitch and she freaks out and leaves because he's going to Boston without her. Screw you, Alanna. I'm so tired of these kids being jerks when they're friends or significant others get accepted to a school far away from them...except for Jessica. She got upset, but she does want what's best for Jeremy. Well, sort of. You'll see.
Jeremy's at Jessica's house, watching her make them sandwiches for a picnic that she suggested after receiving his sweet little e-mail. He thinks she's totally hot while she does this little thing, and they actually are kind of cute together and not gross and annoying like Elizabeth and Jeffrey. The phone rings while they're kissing and Jess says to let the machine get it. Of course it's Zander and he says enough to be incriminating before she runs over and answers, but not enough that she can't explain it to Jeremy. She says that she didn't want to give her brother's friend a fake number, but she also didn't expect him to ever use it. Jeremy buys this because he's given girls his number and then just not answered when they called. Real nice, Jeremy, except I've definitely done the whole not answering the phone thing to avoid some guys, so we can still be pals.
Zander e-mails Jess asking to give her a tour of SVU and then play tennis right after. She agrees and now I don't know what to think about her! Cheater! Conner e-mails Tia back and tells her that they're cool, but he's not going on the road trip because he needs to work all summer for spending money at college. Tia's gonna LOVE that!
Alanna meets with her sponsor and tells her about Tufts and freaking out on Conner. Sandra remarks that even one of those things could be upsetting enough to drive an alcholic straight to the bottle, but Alanna realizes that she was never even tempted to drink! Probably because she's not a real alcoholic. I bet that she was just pretending to get attention from her parents, to meet Conner at rehab, and to steal him from Liz in the process. SLUT! Sandra also reveals that she's thinking about going back to school and getting her doctorate in psychology from UCLA. UCLA is Alanna's safety school and now Alanna thinks she might want to do that, too. I'd like to suggest that being a clown is awesome because the way Alanna makes her decisions based on others' opinions, I bet she'd fill out an application to Clown College.
Conner comes to Alanna's house and they hang out in her bedroom with the door shut. Whatever. I moved out of my parents' house for good when I was 23 and I was still never allowed to have a guy in there with the door closed. BAD PARENTING. Alanna lets him know that Tufts rejected her and Conner is really disappointed because he was "really looking forward to hanging out with you in Boston next year." Alanna squeals to herself that this is the nicest thing that Conner has ever said to her and if that's true she should have dumped him in rehab. My boyfriend says nice things to me all the time, like the time he said I'd be a better owner of the Washington Redskins than stupid Dan Snyder (team ruiner!) because I'd make the team better than he does with all his stupid money. My boyfriend knows just what to say to get me to shut up for a minute. Sigh.
Trent, Tia, Conner, Alanna, Andy, and Dave get together to celebrate Dave getting into Columbia University, and when Alanna and Tia are alone, Alanna tells Tia a secret: she's not going to go to college next year! She's going to move to Boston and live close to Conner at Belmont! That's a fabulous idea! Seriously! You should get pregnant, too! Then Conner can be yours FOREVER! During the car ride home, Alanna reveals her plan to Conner and it bothers him, but he doesn't know why. I know why, Conner! She's going to leech onto you! Runaway fast! Go to Liz! She's a cheating cheater and you're an ex-boyfriend, so she'll definitely make out with you! (You might have to hide in the closet if Jeffrey comes over, though. Ask him about the time HE did that while she made out with Todd. I'm sure you'll have a good laugh together and become best friends).
Jeremy tries to make a date with Jessica for Monday afternoon, but she says that she has things to do at home, but she can go to his place around 7pm. LIES!
At school, Liz sees a boring looking guy walking towards her. He smiles and IT TAKES HER THAT LONG TO RECOGNIZE HER OWN BOYFRIEND. Good God. He cut his hair all off, too, now that he's not going to be a dj anymore. He asks her if she can think of an article idea for him for the last edition of the Oracle. When she asks about NYU he doesn't tell her he was rejected, just that he doesn't want to go after all, and he'll go to school with her. Now I'm confused because even though she's planning on SVU, there's still that Oxford scholarship she's trying to get. If she gets it and goes (she won't), Jeff can't follow her. He's even dumber than I imagine he looks.
Tia and Conner talk about Alanna's dumb plan; Tia tells him that it's dumb and a bad idea, but Conner disagrees with her. Boring. I know that Tia is right, but since she's so obnoxious sometimes, I'd side with Conner just to piss her off. Tia goes from that to see Jessica wearing a tennis skirt and hounds her about what she's doing that afternoon. She goes bloodhound on her when she can tell that Jess doesn't want to talk about it. Another reason why Tia's a bossy bitch. Anyway, I remember girls wearing tennis skirts all the time in high school. After school. Playing tennis. Huh. Maybe it was in college that the sorority girls wore them. Anyway, I don't see the big deal, but everyone else did and now Tia's calling Jessica on it. After a grueling inquisition, Jess tells Tia the truth, and Tia rightly calls it as a passive-aggressive attempt to remind Jeremy that she'll be surrounded by guys at college and he won't be around. Jess denies it, but does think that Tia's right.
She plays tennis with Zander and has a good time, but calls it quits in time to meet Jeremy, but not before driving Zander back to his dorm. This is significant because he leaves his tennis racket in the backseat and Jeremy sees it when Jess comes to his house. He calls her out on lying to him about doing things at home and she admits that he's right and apologizes. She tells him that she's just trying to get excited about college and it has nothing to do with Zander or any other guy. The only guy she wants is Jeremy. He accepts her apology, but tells her not to lie to him anymore (fair enough), and they're good again, though he's still worried about the long-distance relationship. He comes to SVH during lunch the next day and tells Jess that he's jealous and that he can't stand the thought of being away from her for three or four years and always worrying about some guy snatching her away, so he's made up his mind that he's going to SVU with her! They're both raptuorously happy, but we all know this can't last. Jeremy Aames is never heard from during SVU.
Conner's at Alanna's house again and while using her computer sees a stack of UCLA Psychology papers on her desk. She claims that they're for her sponsor, but he can tell she's lying (yay!)
Jeffrey tells his parents that he doesn't want to go to NYU. Geez, Jeff! Just tell them you didn't get in! As all good Sweet Valley parents do, Jeff's parents celebrate his wise decision by taking him out for sushi.
Steven and Zander come to the Wakefields' house so that Zander can get his racket back. While he's there, he asks Jessica out, but she refuses saying that she has a boyfriend and he's coming with her to SVU. Zander gives a warning story about how he wanted to go to SVU for swimming, but his high school girlfriend wanted to go to some school in Chicago. He went there and hated swimming for a losing Division II team instead of for SVU's awesome Division I team. They started fighting a lot until they broke up and he transferred to SVU. Jessica freaks out and starts looking up archaeology programs for California schools, but none have very good ones. Finally she looks at SVU (shouldn't she have looked there first?) but they only have two professors for the subject and anyone with the major has to take courses in the anthropology program. She gets really really upset because she knows that Jeremy will have to go to Arizona, after all, and she doesn't want him to follow her and later resent her for it. VERY MATURE! Yay, Jess! But, sucks about the whole long-distance thing. Sorry.
At an AA meeting, Alanna arrives to see Sandra and Conner sitting by each other. Sandra hands Alanna some more UCLA Psychology information, which sucks because Conner is right there and Alanna can't pretend that away like she does everything else. He goes home with her and they have a fight about her lying to him and because he's decided it's not a good idea for her to follow him to Boston. Even though it's not spelled out, it seems like they've broken up FINALLY!!!!! Conner leaves and Mrs. Feldman goes upstairs and comforts her daughter. She's actually an okay mom and Alanna should be a lot nicer to her. She encourages Alanna to go to UCLA and to pursue psychology and says she thinks she'd be good at it. Good for you, Mrs. Feldman. Wanna be my mom? You can buy me things and I'll actually tell you about my life unlike your ungrateful whelp.
Jeff goes by the Oracle to see about an article idea from Liz. She can't think of a good one and he tells her not to worry because he comes up with the best ideas on his own. Then why did you waste her time? He leaves and then Liz steps on a paper on the floor. She picks it up and it's something from the guidance office and it says that Jeffrey was rejected from NYU. So now she knows, though she tells herself that he wouldn't lie to her. Why not? You do it all the time to him.
Jessica goes to Jeremy's house and tearfully tells him about Zander coming over and his whole sob story. She tells Jeremy that he has to go to Arizona if their relationship has a shot. It doesn't have a shot, Jess, not at all.
I've requested the next two books from the library. I hope they get better than this crap.