SVSY #4: I've Got a Secret

[xbexuniquex]

This is my first ever post! I'm rather excited. I'm a young Sweet Valley fan, and I grew up with the later SVH books, as well as SVSY and SVU - and the Elizabeth series but they aren't really worth mentioning. After finding this community I decided to relive my youth (as in, what I read six years ago) and order in some books from the libraries in my area. This was one of them. I didn't recognise it all, but half-way through I started to remember the storyline and I guess that's the reason why this recap isn't too snarky - because I still have a soft spot for Jessica and Jeremy.

I couldn't find the right cover online so I took a picture of my library book. Please ignore the glare from my camera - I've forgotten how to turn the flash off.




So, I give you a (very long) recap of I've Got a Secret
This one begins with a diary entry from Liz, about how complicated her life is! Why is her life complicated? Because she is obsessed with Conner, and she clearly needs to turn her life around. Yeah, it appears from this book that the only important thing in Liz’s life is Conner. Let’s move on to the proper story, shall we?

Jess's diary entry rants about how upset she is over Tia telling her the wrong time for the pep rally so that she missed it. She thinks that Tia is conspiring with Evil Melissa (I actually don't like this girl - I'm still in high school and have to deal with immature brats like her all the time so this may be the reason) and as Tia is friends with Liz, she thinks Liz is somehow linked to the pep rally thing too. Paranoid much?

The first chapter begins with Jess being told off by her cheerleading coach for missing the pep rally. She's annoyed that Jess didn't call and say what she wasn't there, but is glad that a friend said she was sick. Jess is surprised that someone bailed her out, since most of the squad hate her.

Melissa is getting ready for practice and can't wait for the team captain to be announced - she's sure it's going to be her, especially after she made Jess miss practice. Then she sees Jess and the coach walking into the gymnasium together and starts to worry, especially as Jess doesn't look depressed for once. The coach announces that they decision on the team captain won't be announced until Saturday’s game, as she needs more time to get to know the new girls. Melissa makes plans to suck up to the coach - none of which actually happen in the book. Lack of continuity within one single book? That’s really bad.

Jeremy is late for his shift at House of Java as he had to pick his sisters up from school. Ally asks to speak to him and he worries, but it turns out he's been given a raise! He's been working there for an entire year so is now earning $1.50 an hour more than everyone else. He's happy, and decides to get his family a Chinese take-out to celebrate, even if it means he'll regret spending the money later, when he needs it. But he thinks that they need to be happy for once.

Liz is waiting for Jess to finish practice and is worried as she hasn't spoken to her all day. Tia appears and decides to wait with Liz as she needs to explain what happened with the pep rally. Jess finally appears and thinks that Liz and Tia are planning to ambush her, but Tia explains what happened - Cherie called everyone and told them that there had been a change of plans, and told Tia that Lila would be telling Jess about them. Obviously, Lila didn't. (I haven't ready SY since I was eleven, so I can't remember what happened between Lila and Jess but I can't imagine them ever being inseparable!) Technically, Tia had given Jess the right info., but it had been changed. Jess is glad that Tia and Liz are still her friends, but upset that everyone hates her. Aww, poor Jess! I like Jess in these books - she experiences life as a normal teen, not as a goddess. Tia feels bad for not standing up for Jess before, so makes plans to talk to Melissa.

We now get to see an application which Jeremy is filling out for Uni, asking him what the most life-changing moment he's experienced is. He says that it's the day his dad lost his job, because it meant that he had to start lying to his friends about his family situation, and get a job so he could pay for the groceries and pay the bills because his dad didn't get another job. He says he doesn't know why he's even applying to Uni when he won't be able to afford it.

Chapter 2! Jeremy talks to some guy called Alex in the carpark at his school, and Alex asks why Jeremy is worrying about petrol. Jeremy claims he blew all his money on CDs, and jokes that his dad is always telling him to learn how to budget. Alex doesn't seem to understand what the word budget means, and Jeremy wishes people would understand what it's like not to have money just lying around. Jeremy spent the last of his money on paying a plumber, but his friends would never understand having responsibilities like that. I like Jeremy. He's realistic! A bunch of guys are hanging around a girl called Sarah, because she brought her dad's BMW to school. Jeremy says it's pathetic that everyone pays attention to her just because of her car. Trent calls him a hypocrite because he has a Mercedes convertible, and Jeremy snaps back that it's his dad's - he didn't get handed a brand new car on his 17th. Me neither, Jeremy! I have a discount bus pass! He wishes, again, that his friends would understand his situation. He's sick of lying to his friends. Okay, Jeremy does whine a lot, I’ll admit that, but it is pretty realistic. Damn, there really is nothing to snark about in this book!

Will is having lunch with Melissa and her friends and he hopes that they don't start Jessica-bashing. Amazingly, they only talk about who is going to be made captain and what uniforms they should wear to the next game (they have more than one uniform?) He hopes that Melissa is over Jessica.

Jess and Tia are talking about Angel before going to practice and Jess admires a photo of Angel which causes Tia to joke that Jess shouldn't get any ideas. Jess feels rubbish because she already has a reputation as a “slut.” Tia apologises for making Jess feel awkward. Then she heads over to talk to Melissa. She confronts her about what she did to Jess regarding the rally and Melissa acts all innocent, pretending that she didn't do anything. So Tia threatens to tell the coach about Melissa's behaviour if she doesn't stop treating Jess like dirt. Jess still feels rubbish even after the confrontation, but Tia tells her that at least people will hate Tia more than Jess now!

Melissa writes a diary entry about how she doesn't understand Tia's behaviour. Apparently because they've known each other since fourth grade, Tia should always be nice to her. She calls Tia a backstabber, drama queen and an attention-seeker (pot calling the kettle black?) and says that Jess must be rubbing off on Tia. Gah. I really hate Melissa. She reminds me of why I hated junior year of high school. I spend the majority of my senior year in the library, so I manage to avoid the Scottish Melissas :P

3rd chapter. Melissa is waiting for Will at his car and he isn't looking forward to talking to her. Lately he's been feeling trapped in their relationship. Melissa whines to him about what Tia did - how could she says such things, especially in front of other people? Especially when Melissa didn't do any of them! Will reminds her that Tia had offered to speak to her in private, and that she did do those things - he heard her planning with Gina. He asks her to stop being so mean to Jess. Melissa then manipulates Will into feeling bad by crying and saying that everyone hates her. How Regina Davis of her! Will falls for it and softens, saying that Tia would never in a million years go to the coach. Despite this, he still feels totally suffocated and decides that he needs to get away from Melissa.

Tia and Liz are having dinner together, and Liz moans to Tia about living with Conner. Then she asks for relationship advice to do with “a guy” she's interested in and whether he's worth the trouble. Tia recommends that Liz kisses him because then she'll know whether she's really attracted to him or if she's just obsessed with him.

Tia writes a diary entry about how it's so obvious that Liz is in love with Conner, and that Conner needs a girlfriend like Liz. How I hate teenagers who think they know what's best for their friends! I think Liz is just obsessed with Conner because he doesn't want her and no one has ever not wanted her before. Tia thinks that if Liz and Conner kiss, he'll either reject her or get together with her. Um, are there any other options?

Chapter 4! Liz is stressing out over kissing Conner and totally ignores everything which Maria says to her. They go and sit with Tia and her friends in the cafeteria, and Conner tells everyone that his music teacher's band are playing in LA and that he can get them all free tickets. Liz decides to go so that she can kiss Conner, but gets worried when Maria also says she'll go - how will she get Conner alone? Liz wonders whether kissing Conner is really so important (me too!) and also how she'll get out of working in order to go to the concert.

Jess calls Liz and tells her how brilliant practice was - no one was mean to her! Granted, no one noticed her at all so she's practically invisible, but she's still happy. Liz suggests that they do a twin switch so Liz can go to the concert - Jess will cover her shift at HoJ. Jess agrees as she hates being alone on Friday nights, and working is better than nothing. She says that Liz must cover her Saturday shift in return, so that she can get to the game on time.

Trent - who we've met before at Big Mesa - and Jeremy are walking home with some guys after practice. Two girls come along and start flirting with them. One of them convinces Jeremy to lend her his home jersey (whatever that is). The guys start planning a party and putting money together for a keg. Jeremy bails saying that he has to work that night, and they complain that he works too much. He gets sad again because people don't understand what it's like not to have money pouring out of your ears. Again, he wishes he could stop lying to them.

Melissa is waiting for Will in a restaurant and is drinking a diet soda (eww - why bother with fizzy drinks if they have no sugar?) She worries that he's stood her up, so calls his house to find out where he is. His mum tells her that he's at Josh's, playing basketball, so she calls Josh. Josh tries to pretend that Will isn't there, until Melissa says that Will's mum told her Will would be there. Will gets on the phone, pretending that he just got there, and is apologises for forgetting their date in a way which makes Melissa think that he’s lying. Melissa is upset because Will wouldn't leave his friends to come and meet her (I think she relies on him too much). She can't believe that he stood her up, lied to her and then blew her off. I can! Poor Will. He should just break up with Drama Queen Melissa.

Conner's diary entry states that he doesn't want Liz and Maria coming to the concert. He doesn't explain why he doesn't want Liz to come, but says that if Maria wants to come then she's either a) a glutton for punishment or b) still not over him yet, and keen to get him back.

Liz has written down some notes about what she needs to tell Jess about HoJ and concludes her two-page list by deciding that she'll have to tell Jeremy that Jess is covering her shift, and that he can help Jess out.

Jess also makes notes which consist of things like “recipes for smoothies are in this box” and “if anyone asks about vitamins read from the box without looking like you're reading from a box.”

Chapter 5. Jeremy is at home in his falling-apart house, talking to his little sister and getting ready for going to work. His dad comes in and tells him that he shouldn't work so much. Jeremy discusses this with his dad for a while, and then tells his dad about Liz, pretending that he fancies her, so that his dad gets off his back. His dad immediately understands why he works at HoJ so much, but he still says that Jeremy shouldn't feel like he has to work. Jeremy is annoyed - if his dad doesn't want him to have to work then he should find a job!

Liz is getting ready to go out to the concert, and dressed in “heeled black ankle boots; a pair of black, slim-fitting knit pants; and a blue-green tank top that matched the shade of her eyes.” I wish I could go into a shop and ask 'Do you have a shirt which matches the green-greyness of my eyes?' She worries about the fact that the top shows off her stomach - then why buy the top in the first place? Andy has come to pick them all up in his silver mini-van, and Liz stupidly suggests that she and Conner drive to the concert on their own to save Andy having to drive all the way back to Conner’s house to drop them off. What a lame excuse. And desperate! Andy tells her that it's more fun to drive as a group, and eventually Liz realizes that her excuse was pretty rubbish. Conner looks moody so she decides to ignore him and have fun with Tia.

Cherie, Gina and Melissa are having coffee together at HoJ and are dissing Tia and Angel. Will gets annoyed at this, and sticks up for Angel when one of the girls makes fun of him for not going to college because he couldn't afford it. Snobs! Even I'm going to have to take out a loan and I'm upper-middle class! Will feels totally trapped, again, and can't wait for the girls to leave so he can go and meet up with his teammates. He reckons that they can't drink coffee for much longer, and that maybe he should tell them that it's turning their teeth yellow as they're all too vain not to ignore that comment. After chatting to Jeremy - who is working there - about how this is no way for either of them to prepare for tomorrow's game, he decides to leave the girls in the coffee shop. Melissa is angry at him and tries guilt tripping him by using the forgotten date the day before, but he doesn't fall for it this time.

Will next writes a diary entry about how he doesn’t know why he stood Melissa up, and that he did know that it was wrong. He says that lately he feels like he’s suffocating when he’s around Melissa and he feels like he HAS to be with her, as if she’s his responsibility. What he originally liked about their relationship was that he took care of her, but now he feels like that’s trapping him.

Chapter 6 - half way there! Jessica goes to work at HoJ as Elizabeth, and gets confused about which woman is working with her today (obviously Liz’s notes weren’t that useful after all!) so questions her until she mentions the other woman’s name, thus revealing her own. Jess is happy not to be stuck in Lila’s mansion again on a Friday night, but still feels nervous pretending to be Liz as she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do at the start of her shift. She runs into Jeremy but can’t remember his name. He makes jokes to her about not being late for once, and she can’t imagine that Liz, “the Princess of Punctuality” would ever be late! Then Jess thinks that she’s remembered Jeremy’s name…it’s Justin, of course!

Liz and her friends arrive at the concert and Conner seems to have cheered up. Liz notes that he appeared to be have been uncomfortable being close to either her or Maria in the van. She volunteers to show him where the reservation window is as no one has been to this stadium before. Don’t worry, Liz isn’t a closet punk - she came here with her dad to pick up his baseball tickets once. Everyone else heads off to get food and Liz makes small talk with Conner about Gavin, his music teacher, who is the lead singer of the band they’re going to see. Then she nearly falls over a curb and thinks about how she always does something stupid around Conner. Such as what she does next - asks him if he’s uncomfortable being around Maria. He brushes the comment off saying that he just didn’t like sitting in the van for such a long time. But Liz has to dig deeper, of course! And says “Maybe if you told her how you really feel…” to which Conner says “God! What is it with you? Why do you have to make everything into some big issue?” (*1bruce1 cheers Conner on*)  Conner tells her that he doesn’t need her help and Liz wishes that she could learn to keep her “big mouth” shut (so do we!)

Jeremy’s point of view at HoJ - he’s finding it very hard not to laugh at Jessica, since he knows that she’s not Liz but she’s putting her all into acting as if she is. Plus, she’s still calling him Justin. Clearly, Liz forgot to tell her that Jeremy knew she was coming tonight. He’s about to go over and whisper to her that he knows she’s not Liz, when she gets chatting to a bunch of obnoxious jocks. He gets worried, as Liz generally gets annoyed by those kind of guys, but Jess manages to deal with them perfectly fine, and even get them to lower their voices. Jeremy tells her how impressed he is and she says that jerks are her specialty. Jeremy can tell from this comment that she’s been hurt recently. Wow, Jeremy should go and study psychology! They start joking together about Jeremy beating up the jocks, and Jess is starting to feel pretty happy when she sees two girls come into the café and rushes off to the loo. Jeremy listens to the two girls talking about whether Liz will be annoyed at them because of what they did to Jess, and Lila starts talking obnoxiously about how she wants her order now. Jeremy decides that whoever this Lila girl is, he definitely doesn’t like her. Okay, I really like Jeremy now. He immediately takes Jess’s side even though he doesn’t have a clue about what’s going on. I want a Jeremy! :(

Meghan has a diary entry, even though she’s not in this book at all. She says that she thinks Liz and Conner should have go together by now, and that it’s probably Conner’s fault that they aren’t, as he’s an “absolute moron when it comes to girls.” Meghan sounds cute. She says that she thinks Conner is scared of commitment, and that’s why he and Maria probably broke up. (Why did they break up? This is the earliest book my library has so I’m slightly confused). Maria starts analyzing Conner and saying that he’s afraid of getting together with Liz because he likes her so much. Um, okay. Then she decides that she’s either a) very good at psychology or b) been watching too much Oprah. I got for B.

Chapter 7. Jess and “Justin” are talking about TV shows. Jess is attracted to “Justin” when he touches her while reaching for the cinnamon. Jess makes a plate of rhubarb cheesecake (eww) and gives it to a customer only to be told that she can’t eat that and Liz should know by now.”Justin” appears, saying that he must have picked up “Liz’s” plate, and hands the woman one without strawberry sauce - obviously, the woman was allergic to strawberries. Jess makes a joke about how she doesn’t know why she forgot that, and “Justin” shrugs it off. Then he asks her what’s up tonight, as she ran off when two of the girls came in, and he asks if she wants to talk about it. Jess is really flattered that he’s being so friendly and kind to her, but then realizes that he thinks she’s Liz, so that’s why. She brushes him off. Then Aaron walks in with two El Carro guys and she panics, worrying that they’re going to rip her to shreds in front of “Justin.” Then Aaron starts talking to her, and she realizes that they really do think that she’s Liz. She’s glad that at HoJ, as Liz, she’s able to chat freely and have fun without worrying about anyone being cruel to her. Even if she does have to pretend to be Liz.

At the concert, Liz, Tia and Maria are waiting in the line for the loo and Liz is thinking about how bad the night is going. Maria is all giggly and pretending to fancy Evan, so that she can make Conner jealous. Tia and Maria eventually decide to use the men’s bathroom as the queue is non-existent, and Liz says that she’ll wait until the ladies’ is free, but she actually just wants to be alone in order to go and find Conner and snog his face off. Conner hasn’t spoken to her since she tried to psycho-analyse him at the ticket window, and she has decided that she will never, ever ask him a question again. Nevertheless, she goes to find him. I’m not sure how she is going to manage to talk to him without asking a question. Maybe she will just snog him without saying anything. I’m only saying snog because it’s an annoying word and Liz is annoying. In reality, I hate British slang words for kissing. Snog is one of the better ones. Anyway, Liz runs into some guy carrying a massive tray of food. Liz cleverly thinks, “She had to start paying attention to little things like walking.” I seriously thought I had misread that sentence originally, but nope, she really says it. Liz says Hi to Conner, and then makes small talk - Where’s Evan gone to? Are you buying that shirt for Megan? So much for no questions! The he turns to her and says, very seriously, “Can I ask you a question?” Liz gets worried, but it turns out that he’s just wondering whether she knows how to get mustard out of clothes as has a massive glob hanging off her top from where she ran into the guy with all the food. Apparently her top is dry-clean-only - yeah, only in Sweet Valley would a normal, cotton tank-top be unable to be washed in a normal washing machine. Tia comes up and asks what’s wrong, and Liz says that obviously having fun isn’t her style and she should have gone to work instead of the concert. Emo!Liz

Back at HoJ, everything is hectic. Ally and Nancy are nowhere to be found, and Jeremy and Jess are ran off their feet, causing Jess to burn herself and break a mug. Jeremy tells her to go and fetch some milk and take a breather in the storeroom. Jess is just picking up the milk when Nancy shouts to say that it’s needed urgently. She starts to leave the storeroom when Jeremy runs into her, causing the bag of milk to burst and spill all over the floor. Who keeps milk in a bag? They end up in hysterics and covered in milk, when Mrs Scott comes in and screeches about how much the milk costs. She tells them to go home immediately, and won’t listen to their protests. Jess begins to worry that she might have gotten Liz fired.

Andy’s diary entry talks about how soap-like the evening was, since Maria spent the whole night flirting with Evan to get Conner’s attention, while Evan was trying to get the attention of Liz, who was trying to get Conner’s attention. And Conner is jealous of Evan because it’s clear that Evan likes Liz. I have to agree on the soap aspect; I don’t even watch soaps but I read the front of our TV guide (which always tells you what’s happening on EastEnders that week) and it’s pretty much like this.

Chapter 8. Jess and Jeremy are outside of HoJ after being chucked out, and make jokes about milk-shampoos and so on. Jeremy brushes some coffee grinds out of Jess’s hair and she blushes. Aww. I love Jess in this book - she’s a typical teenage girl. As opposed to a goddess. They joke around a bit more and then Jeremy says that he has to head home. Jessica decides to tell him that truth - that she’s not Elizabeth. He makes a joke about how alike they look, and asks whether they’re related. She tells him that she’s Jess, Liz’s twin. He then admits that he knew along, and when prompted as to how he guessed, he says that she has better taste in TV and is twenty times better looking - and that she also called him Justin all night. Oops. Jeremy then asks Jess why she took Liz’ place tonight, and she explains that Liz had something else to do and working at HoJ and pretending to be Liz seemed like a good idea…until a few minutes ago. Jeremy says that he thinks it was a great idea. Jess begins to think that maybe Jeremy is interested in here, but then he says that he has to go, and she mentally kicks herself for getting her hopes up. She decides that she should just be happy to have a friend - especially one who doesn’t know anything about her reputation.

Liz has a headache after the concert and is trying to sleep. She doesn’t want to get up and find some aspirin in case she runs into Conner. What a stupid excuse. She gets a call from a very chirpy Maria, even though it’s 3am. Maria wants to know if Liz thinks that Conner is jealous of Maria and Evan, and if so, does Liz think that there’s a chance of Conner and Maria getting back together? Liz reminds Maria that she’s meant to be over Conner, and Maria admits that she lied to Liz about that. Liz tells her to be careful with Conner because he treated her badly before. Why is Liz interested in a guy who treated her best friend like dirt? I don’t understand this girl.

Jess is in bed, not sleeping and grinning her head off. For once, Lila’s spare bedroom doesn’t feel like a prison cell. Despite this, she is sad because she probably won’t get a chance to hang out with Jeremy ever again. Is Sweet Valley really big enough that you can meet someone once and never see them again? Just as she’s thinking this, a very sleepy Liz calls her to ask if Jess can cover her morning shift at HoJ as she’s just got back from LA and her head is killing her (take some frickin’ paracetamol!). Jess doesn’t mind covering Liz’s shift (obviously) but reminds Liz that she’d promised to do her shift at Healthy. Then Jess begins to wonder if Jeremy will be working tomorrow.

Melissa is listening to an answer-machine message from Will. Again. He says that he just got back from a party and thought that Melissa would have been there. Melissa angrily tells the answer-machine that it would have known where she was if it hadn’t ditched her. Will then says that they need to talk. Melissa panics. She wonders what’s going on with Will. Or whether it’s her. Or Jess.

Liz writes in her diary that she has some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Conner is talking to her again. He said, “Lookin’ good, Wakefield.” (Conner = young version of Sam Burgess from SVU). The bad news is that he was being totally sarcastic as she looked rubbish. Elizabeth doesn’t think that The Kiss will be happening at all. Tia needs to make up a new plan. Can’t Liz come up with a plan herself, seeing as this is her love-life, not Tia’s?

Chapter 9! Jessica arrives at HoJ bright and breezy at 6:45am. Goth Girl emos at Jess for being so happy. Jess checks the schedule and works out that Goth Girl is Corey - then she spots that Jeremy isn’t working until nine. I’m sad too, Jess :( She then realized that she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do first thing in the morning, as Liz never told her that when she called at 3 o’clock in the morning. She begins to worry a bit, and then Jeremy appears behind her, suggesting that she put some mugs out! He’s also brought breakfast for him. Jess asks what he’s doing here as he isn’t working until nine and he explains that Mrs Scott called and asked him to work early, and he thought he couldn’t refuse seeing as he screwed stuff up last night. Jess then asked why he brought breakfast when they’re surrounded by pastries. He says that he felt like splurging since he was in such a good mood, and hands her an egg sandwich and a bottle of fresh orange juice. Jess asks (she asks a lot in this section) how he knew that she was going to be there this morning and he says that he was being hopeful. (Well, how would he know? Does he have the Fowler’s phone-line tapped? Telepathy?) Corey is both disgusted and confused by their discussion and asks if Jeremy and “Liz” are dating now. Jess and Jeremy joke around, Jeremy saying that him and Liz have nothing in common, and Jess says that she didn’t even meet Jeremy until last night. Corey is mega confused, so calls them weird and goes for a nap in “the Tsar’s office.” Danny enters, and him and Jeremy explain to Jess that Corey is Ally’s sister and therefore Mrs Scott’s daughter. Then Danny asks Jess who she is. Busted! Jeremy is like, “Told you so! It’s obvious that you’re not Liz.” She asks why, and Danny says that she’s better looking. Jeremy agrees. Jessica blushes.

Liz gets a call from Andy, asking if she got Conner’s message about the pool get-together (which later gets called a party). Liz analyses why Conner didn’t pass on the message. Why does she have to analyse everything!? Liz feels like she was meant to do something today, but can’t remember what, so agrees to go over to Andy’s. She analyses some more about Conner and the message, and then spots a note taped to her door about Andy’s get-together. She’s amazed that he wrote it down (how else was he going to pass the message on if she was sleeping all day?) then goes to get ready, worrying about how to cover up her spot. I think Liz and Jess had a permanent twin switch for the Senior Year books. Anyone else agree with me? Except that Jess is a much cooler version of Liz. And Liz still meddles.

Jeremy and Jessica are outside HoJ taking about obscure stuff in order to avoid saying goodbye. Aww! Ich liebe Jess und Jeremy. Jeremy discusses his theory on scones and biscotti being the same (don’t make me explain). At one point he describes (in his head) Jess’s eyes as being “sparkling blue-green eyes” but there is thankfully no mention of them being the colour of the Pacific Ocean.

Jeremy also says that Jess is deeper than Liz, which makes me want to marry him. He considers asking Jess out, rather than just standing around talking about absolute rubbish. He thinks that it’s been ages since he’s connected with someone, and he already feels like he can trust Jess, and that she won’t judge him. (I just thought; Jeremy = Damon from SVJH? Jess falls for the poor guy? It’s just like Conner = Sam from SVU, keeping the pattern of Liz falling for the slacker jerk. How original, ghosties!) But Jeremy can’t ask Jess out - where could he take her on no money? He’s already worrying about spending the $4 on breakfast for the two of them. He has too many responsibilities to have a girlfriend. While he’s running this all over in his head, Jess says that she should be getting home, so they say goodbye. Jeremy struggles not to call Jessica back.

Conner’s diary entry is stupid. He says that he’s just finished reading The Great Gatsby for English and that “it’s just one more story about how a woman can mess up a guy’s life.” Just in case we forgot that Conner is commitment-phobic and generally sucks.

Chapter 10. Jess’s high spirits call when she gets back to the Fowler mansion, as she sees Lila prancing around in her cheerleading outfit and showing off in front of Mr and Mrs Fowler. Lila apologises (not) for not being able to wait for Jess to get ready for the game, but she promised she’d pick up some of the other cheerleaders. Jess is all, “I’ll be fine, I’ve got to plenty of games without you in the past.” (I still can’t believe that Lila cheers! Or is a Melissa clone, for that matter). Lila is about to leave when Mr Fowler tells that she has plenty of time to wait for Jess. Jess panics - she does not want to be stuck in a car with Lila’s cheerleading friends, and tells him that it’s fine, she can get there herself. Lila is out the door in a shot. Jess debates how she can get to the game, and worries about the possibility of being laughed at or booed by the crowd when she’s cheering. “Her old confidence had been replaced by uncertainty.” She thinks about how she felt at HoJ - “comfortable in her own skin” - and also about Jeremy, her great new friend. This cheers her up, so she goes to ask her mum if she can borrow her car. I’m actually quite impressed with the ghostie’s writing in this section - very nice descriptions!

Liz arrives at Andy’s house, and is worrying about the bikini which she’s wearing. Apparently, Elizabeth never wears bikinis, especially not in public. Um, SVH anyone? Lots of bikinis in there!

Evan comes over and says Hi to her, and is quite shy but compliments Liz on how she looks. Liz doesn’t twig that Evan fancies her, and suggests that they go and say Hi to Maria. Maria loudly comments that she can see Liz’s bikini through her top, and Liz gets embarrassed. Evan says that he’s sure she looks great in any swimming-costume.

Jessica can’t borrow her mum’s car as she’s heading out, but her mum offers to drop her off at the school. Jess thinks about how pathetic it is for a senior cheerleader to be dropped off by her mummy. Mrs W asks Jess is she’s okay, as she’s seemed a bit down lately. GOOD PARENTING! We need a tag for this. Jess wishes that she could tell her mum everything but doesn’t want to burden her with her problems. (Isn’t that what parents are for? To listen to their kid’s problems?) Plus, she doesn’t have time to tell her mum what’s up before they reach the school. She tells her mum that she’s just nervous, and can her mum drop her off the street before the school as all the cheerleaders are meeting at Annie’s house. Actually, she just doesn’t want anyone to see her being dropped off by her mum as “it would just be more ammunition to be used against her.” Aww :( Mrs W presses Jess on whether she’s really okay or not, and asks if she wants to talk about anything. Jess lies to her mum, and after she’s driven off she walks to the school and nips through the gymnasium to avoid the crowds as she is definitely not as excited about games as she used to be. She hears someone say her name, and gets ready to be insulted. She twirls around to face a group of Big Mesa footballers. She worries that her reputation has spread to Big Mesa, when she realizes that one of them is Jeremy. She’s happy to see a friendly face in her own school, and they joke together a little about “evil twins.” (Yes, they really do. I’m not making this up). Unfortunately, Jess spots Cherie and Melissa gossiping about her, and suddenly it isn’t so good for Jeremy to be in her school. She’d planned to keep him from finding out about who she really was, and here he is, right in the middle of her world. He’s probably just about to find out what everyone thinks about her. So she tells Jeremy that she has to go, and rushes off, despite him trying to stop her. “Jessica didn’t want to be around to witness the loss of her only friend.” Aww :(

The Coach is about to tell the cheerleaders who she has chosen for captain. Melissa is nervous, but mainly because of the message Will left on her answer-machine the night before. Coach asks the girls where Jessica is, and Lila says that she saw her downstairs. Gina adds that she was talking to some guy, and whispers “Surprise, surprise.” Apparently now even talking to a guy makes you a slut. Cherie, Lila, Renee and Amy giggle at Gina’s comment but Melissa is more concerned about the announcement the coach is about to make. Tia tells the coach that Jess has probably just gone to the loo. Coach decides just to announce the captain without Jess being there. She makes a speech, and her eyes fall on Melissa, making her think that she’s definitely got the post. But she hasn’t - the captain is Tia! Melissa is dumbfounded. She rants inwardly about why Tia shouldn’t be captain. She nearly starts to cry; after all, she was captain back at El Carro, not Tia. Her clones come over and comfort her while the other girls get ready for the game. Gina says that it’s obvious what happened - Tia and Jess went and told the Coach about what Melissa did regarding the pep rally. It’s the only explanation for the Coach’s choice. (Or maybe Coach saw how responsible and un-bitchy Tia was and chose her for those reasons?) In fact, Gina thinks that Jess put Tia up to it. Oh, what…quatsch! I hate teenage girls and the way they just jump to conclusions! Melissa thinks about how Will told her that Tia would never break her word. But he also said that he’d always be there for her, and he apparently lied when he said that. Thus - because he lied once everything he’s ever said must be a lie. Quatsch! Seriously, when has Melissa once said “Will, I need you to be there for me”? Never. She’s just expected him to be able to read her mind and know when she needs him. Doppltes Quatsch

Will writes in his diary, comparing his football position to read life, and wishes he could be prepared for worst case scenarios off the field as well as on. Football metaphors suck, Will, hence why the recap on your diary entry is so short.

Chapter 11. Jeremy feels like a traitor; his team just got crushed by SHV and he’s desperately searching for one of the opposing sides’ cheerleaders. Interschool rivalries are stupid. Jeremy is thinking about how Jessica doesn’t seem like a peppy, silly cheerleader, but that this just makes her even more interesting and even harder to figure out. He also wonders why she ran off before the game, especially when she’s looked so happy to see him. He hadn’t had time to say much, so it couldn’t have been something he’d said.

Jeremy runs into Will and they chat for a bit about having problems with girls, and Will goes all emotional on him. He decides that he’s not good boyfriend material at all, and as Will seems so bogged down by his relationship, Jeremy definitely doesn’t need extra emotional baggage. But then he thinks that Jess isn’t capable of making a guy as miserable as Melissa appears to have made Will, so Jeremy continues to search for her. So, yeah, Jeremy thinks “Relationships suck” for two seconds but then changes his mind back to his original theory. I’m not sure why he changed his mind at all. Maybe the ghostwriter has a minimum word limit for each chapter so added this in when she hadn’t reached her quota.

Maria is complaining to Liz about how disgusting it is that two girls are throwing themselves at Conner. Liz describes them as “random chicks” which is amusing as she has an aversion to that word in SVU when Sam Burgess calls her a chick. Liz goes to get some ice and spots Conner checking her out. Old Liz would have thrown ice at him and lectured him on how women are not objects to be stared at…but SY Liz sucks, so she doesn’t say anything to him and is actually pleased that he’s checking her out.

Andy tries to make Liz play pool volleyball, but she’s worried about her bikini falling off. Clearly she bought the wrong size if that’s the case. Evan and Andy beg her, but she refuses…so they push her into the pool! Pool-push! She checks that her bikini hasn’t fallen off and stands up, glaring at Andy and Evan. People are laughing at her, and Maria shouts, “Liz! Your face!” Conner begins to laugh his head off and Liz feels like drowning herself. Dude, all he’s doing is laughing at you, like everyone else. Maria tells Liz that they’ll go inside and get her cleaned up, but Liz still doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She gets out of the pool and some guy says “Wear much make-up?” Andy apologises to Liz, while Maria whispers that Liz has mascara all over her face. Evan hands her a towel and she’s taken inside by Maria and Andy.

Come on, what idiot wears make-up to a pool party? It’s just going to come off!

Will is waiting at his car for Melissa. He rehearses what he’s going to say to her when he breaks up with her. He won’t tell her that he’s breaking up with her because he’s besotted with Jessica, though. I want to tell Will that he has no chance with Jess if he’s competing against Jeremy. Will is nervous about telling Melissa that their relationship is over, but he knows he has to do it.

Jeremy makes a to-do list, and writes down “Get Jess’s number from Liz” but scores it out before writing it down again. This isn’t really worth mentioning.

Chapter 12 - last chapter! Maria tells Andy off for pushing Liz into the pool, but Liz tells him not to worry, she’ll live. She thinks to herself that although she’ll live, she won’t ever be able to face Conner again. Because he saw her with make-up all over her face? Stupid girl. Maria asks her why she was wearing so much make-up and Liz claims she was just trying it out. Andy gives her a T-shirt to wear and says that she tells him that she’s heading home now. Andy begs her to stay so that he and Evan don’t die of guilt, but she insists (how thoughtful of her!) and asks Maria to get her bag for her. Andy goes to tell Evan that they have to sit around and mope for the rest of the day. Liz thinks that the kiss with Conner is never going to happen now. Who cares? Let’s go back to Jeremy and Jessica, please!

Will is still waiting in the carpark for Melissa, who has yet to turn up. Cherie and Lila’s cars are still outside, and he worries that they’re all inside, planning another anti-Jessica campaign. He heads inside to put a stop to it, but when he finally enters the gym he sees that Melissa is crying her eyes out. Will can’t be bothered dealing with this anymore - Melissa is always crying and half the time he thinks that she’s faking it. Melissa explains to him that Tia told on them, and that Tia also made captain. He doesn’t see the link. Yay, someone other than me finds this totally crazy! *joins Will’s fan club* He asks her why she thinks that Tia told on her. Cherie says that it’s “so obvious” that Jess and Tia went to the coach and told on them in order to make themselves look good. He tells the girls that their theory doesn’t add up. *cheers Will on* Melissa wails that of course it does, it’s all Jessica’s fault; first Jess tried to steal Will from Melissa, then Jess talked about Melissa in front of her, and the “one time” that Melissa “fought back,” Jess “badmouthed” her to the coach. Wow, twisted version of the story or what? Melissa makes me angry with her twisting or the truth in order to make herself look like a victim, and Jess a bully. Will thinks that he’s done this to Melissa - he cheated on her with Jessica and turned Melissa into “this paranoid person capable of taking revenge and twisting the truth.” Um, I think it’s going to take more than a cheating boyfriend to turn someone into that. I’ve been treated like dirt on numerous occasions but this hasn’t made me turn into a scheming brat like Melissa. Will thinks that Jess would never tell on Melissa, and although Tia is capable of doing that, she would only be telling the truth if she did. “Melissa had behaved horribly…” Finally, someone can see this!“…but he couldn’t tell his girlfriend that.” Oh, Will! *hands back membership to Will’s fan club*

Will decides that he can’t break up with Melissa now, not after he cheated on her with Jess. Um, wasn’t that three books ago? Couldn’t you have dealt with that issue then, before the situation escalated into…this?

Jessica is walking along the mainstreet, getting funny looks from passersby as she’s still in her cheerleading outfit. She skipped the game. She couldn’t bear looking at Melissa’s smug face again, or hear what her teammates had told Jeremy about her. She wishes that she could go home - not to Lila’s house, but her own home, with just her family. Obviously this isn’t possible, but she goes to a payphone to call Liz, as she knows that her sister will cheer her up. But Mrs Sandbourne tells Jess that Liz has been at a party all day. Jess panics - does this man that Liz didn’t cover Jess’s shift? But that’s not possibly, Jess thinks, Liz would “probably burst into flames if she was that irresponsible.” Jess goes to the café to check that Liz did actually turn up. However, as soon as she opens her mouth to speak to Beach she can tell that this Liz hasn’t even set foot in the café today. To make matters worse, Jim is in an especially bad mood as he received an entire shipment of bad kiwi which he can’t send back.” Beach suggests that Jess get’s out of there and thinks of a really good excuse for why she didn’t turn up and couldn’t call. But before she can rush back out the café again, Jim walks in and fires her for being irresponsible and not turning up or calling. Beach tells Jess that he’ll try talking to Jim when he calms down, but all Jess can think about is that Liz let her down.

Liz is leaving Andy’s party and vows not to attend anymore parties for a long time. (In Sweet Valley? I wonder how long this will last). Conner suddenly enters the driveway and comes over to chat with Liz. Liz can’t understand why he wants to talk to her now, when she’s wet, make-upless and wearing Andy’s shirt. Maybe he isn’t impressed with lashings of mascara? Conner asks her if she’s leaving and she confirms it. Conner says that her pool-push wasn’t so bad, and Liz jokes about writing down that quote since he very seldom says nice things to her. He tells her to write down the date, too. They make awkward conversation for a while, and he sits next to her in her car. The conversation moves on to Maria, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t have plans to get back together with her. Liz drops her car keys and they both lean over to pick them up at the same time. They sit up again and look up at each other. “This is it,” Elizabeth thinks. And the he kisses her. The ghostwriter uses some rubbish metaphors to describe the kiss, but I won’t bother quoting them. Basically, Liz acts as if it’s the best thing which has ever happened to her. And then Conner leaps out of her car and says that he has to go, and he’ll see her at home. Liz watches as he drives away in his own car, and she thinks that Tia is right - you can tell everything from a kiss.

And that’s the end! No more Jeremy and Jessica :( Although we do have some exciting diary entries.

Jess rants in her diary about what Liz did regarding Healthy, and then lists what she has: no house, no friends, no boyfriend, no cheerleading squad, no job, no life and one soon-to-be-deceased sister. I want to give Jess a hug, but I also want to remind her that you don’t need a boyfriend in order to be happy.

Liz writes in her diary that she’s just realized that Conner kissed her, not the other way around! She writes “Ha!”

Conner’s diary reveals that he doesn’t know why he kissed Liz. I say HA!

Jeremy writes in his diary that he doesn’t really care what happens anymore. His dad thinks that he should be dating, so he’s actually going to take his dad’s advice for once. He writes, “I just hope that Jessica is willing to cooperate.
*prays that LJ cut works*