SVU #44, Love Me Always, OR "Jessica's Third Dead Boyfriend?"
I don’t know what to say about the cover of this book. Nick Fox does not look as hot as I was promised he was. I feel misled. In other news, if you look at the hands of the police officer trying to pull Nick away from Jess, it looks like he is pinching him. I guess the SVPD can add “police brutality” to its list of achievements.
Did you guys know I have the best husband ever? For Valentine’s Day he gifted me with all the books in this SVU miniseries, #44-47. What a great present for me, and for you by extension, for none of these have been reviewed yet.
Jessica is dreaming. It is literal and prophetic, like all the Wakefield twin’s dreams. We know it is a dream because it is printed in italics, so the authors wouldn’t be spoiling it if they suddenly had a purple hippopotamus fly through the air. And it would be more realistic that way, and provide us with Jungian insights into Jessica’s subconscious. Anyway, here is Jess’s dream: She is in a dark place and she is reaching out for Nick and he’s not there. At one point his leather jacket hangs empty and suspended in mid-air, reminding me of that Magritte painting with the bowler hat floating above the ground.
OK, some backstory here, which is going to be shaky at best because I haven’t read the book that comes before this: It seems Nick and just about everybody else at SVU has been involved with the goings on of a mobster named Clay di Palma, who is about to be put on trial for his mobster shenanigans. Nick is in a safe house because he is going to testify against di Palma, and he and Jessica appear to be sort of broken up. Anyway, this di Palma guy must be bad because in Jessica’s dream he shoots at Nick but Jess wakes up before she finds out if he gets hit or not. Also, Jessica refers to Clay di Palma as “Clay” in her dream which seems rather informal to me for someone so scary. I would definitely think of him as “Mr. di Palma” or whatever his mob nickname was, Clay “Hot Hands” di Palma or whatever. I’d think of him as Hot Hands.
Jessica wakes up thinking it was only a dream, which proves she has never read a book in this series before.
Elizabeth and Tom are back together. ………yay, I guess. I can’t really get excited about Tom because he already exists in another form. (See Wilkins, Todd). Anyway, Elizabeth almost ran off to Denver to do some internship with a guy named Scott but Tom stepped in and prevented her from building up her resume just in the nick of time. What a stellar boyfriend! Tom is going to be covering the Clay “Clownface” di Palma trial for WSVU and wants Elizabeth to cover it with him even though the police explicitly told her not to go near the trial because Clay “Killer Fingers” di Palma knows Jessica used to date Nick and might kill her or something. Tom is like, “Oh, come on, just do it, you know you want to.” !!! He obvio wants her dead.
Isabella is in a coma! How many comas does this make in the SV series in its entirety? Liz was in a coma, and I think Lila was in that book where there’s an earthquake and the armoire falls on her, and Regina was briefly before succumbing to the cocaine heart attack, and fake cousin Rexy probably was after his own motorcycle accident. Anyway, Danny is there at her side with Isabella’s mother, and we know the coma must not have been too serious because the ghostwriters are telling us about Isabella’s mom’s “olive green couture suit.” We find out that Izzy’s in a coma because she was at a frat party and shared a cigarette with Clay “Marlboro Man” di Palma (I have no idea why he was at the party). Apparently the cigarette was laced with PCP and Isabella jumped off of the roof of the frat house, JESUS. Which makes me wonder why my stupid husband did not get me that book, it sounds SO much more awesome than this one. Isabella’s subdural hemotoma is almost better, but her parents still want to move her to a hospital in Switzerland to make sure she gets the best care possible. Danny is all, “NO!” What is up with the boyfriends in this book? That’s pretty fucked up, IMO. Anyway, Danny promises that he can use his secret boyfriend powers to bring Izzy back without having her shipped off to Switzerland. And Isabella’s mom and dad are like, “Honey, while that’s very sweet, you’re not a doctor and we’d feel better if she were receiving the best medical care.” Oh, wait. No they’re not. They’re like, “What a GREAT plan! It has a 100% chance of working! We feel it in our bones!” Lila and Denise drop by to visit the coma victim and we find out from their gossiping that Danny and Isabella quarreled just before she cannonballed off the roof, and that Denise is pissed at Winston for flirting with other girls. Denise’s best friend is in a coma and she is upset over that. Maybe it’s not just the boyfriends.
I wasn’t going to recap this next scene because it’s not really that important, just Elizabeth and Nina recapping things that we already know, but it’s the morning of Clay “Blonde Ambition” di Palma’s trial, and Nina is worried about Jess. Elizabeth says, and I quote, “Knowing [Jessica] she’s probably out shopping for a sexy little celebration dress for when this whole trial is over.” Which I think is just a tad bit belittling to her sister’s ordeal, but then I like Jess better, so this might just be me. Anyway, now that I’ve recapped this scene I should add that Elizabeth feels weird around Tom because he dated other girls when they were apart, even though Elizabeth dated other guys, too. Nina thinks it’s because they haven’t been back together for long and that they just need to be comfortable with each other again.
Jessica’s at the courthouse, even though she was told not to go there. But, awesomely, she is dressed up like an old lady, complete with false teeth! HA! Someone tells her to shut up and she calls him a whippersnapper. During the court proceedings, Nick looks over and recognizes her, because you know that her disguise is probably all bobo. Jessica’s like, “Oops,” and wonders if Clay “Grandma Killer” di Palma recognized her, too. The mob lawyer’s name is Axel Perry, which is not really relevant, but awesome, so I’m including it.
Jessica is thinking that she must not be noticed by Clay “Lazy Eye” di Palma, so what does she do? She stands up in the middle of the court proceeding and everyone looks over at her. She claims her hearing aid backfired. Nick is proud of her for thinking so quickly on her feet. For maximum lulz I want you guys to picture seriously how this would look. Jess’s fake teeth and horrible costume. She probably is wearing a pair of glasses with a moustache attached. Nick’s testimony isn’t going well. He loses his temper and screams at the judge and the judge strikes his testimony from the record because he was rude which would never really happen. I know this because I am in the process of spending $200,000 on a law school education. Whatever, though. We learn that somebody named Nelson “the Nose” Karl is an associate of Clay “Not the Nose” di Palma. I love mob aliases! Across the courtroom Tom sees Jessica and gets all mushy thinking of how Elizabeth will look as an old lady. I don’t know if that means Jess’s costume is good or if Tom is especially stupid.
We learn from Nick’s testimony that Clay “Happy Feet” di Palma’s crimes include the murder of a cop named Steve Riviera, the PCP-ing of Isabella, and the conking of Nick on the head with a gun. Nick’s testimony is going a lot better. Jessica discusses the case with a man sitting next to her, in a “shaky old-lady voice” and Jess tells him that “The Sweet Valley Police Department never makes mistakes.” And the guys is like, ORLY? And Jessica thinks that she can’t really argue with him. She seriously does, and she can’t. Even her love cannot blind her to incompetence.
Tom’s ex-girlfriend, Dana Upshaw, wants him back. Though why anyone would I will never know. Nick misses Jessica, too, which is far more plausible because Jessica is actually fun.
Apparently Jessica’s old lady costume consisted of a pink-tinted wig. Add that to the mental picture. Nick’s lawyer Graham finds her and tells her she cannot come to the courthouse for the reading of the verdict that night. Wow, shortest trial in the history of trials. Back at SVU, Liz runs into Todd and wants to know what he’s up to, all nosy-style. Todd won’t tell her and changes the subject and now Elizabeth’s spidey-sense is tingling and she is determined to figure out what he’s hiding. Todd should know better than that! Todd’s big secret, it turns out, is that he’s going to a psychiatrist to help him deal with the death of his girlfriend, Gin Yung Suh. And probably the scars of having dated Elizabeth Wakefield on and off since second grade. Todd decides to take piano lessons to take his mind off of his troubles. As someone who took piano lessons, I say good luck.
The cops and lawyers are trying to get Clay “Tattletale” di Palma to rat on Nelson “the Nose” Karl. Nick is watching behind a two-way mirror and he sneezes and Clay “XRay Vision” di Palma looks right at him. Nick wonders if he can see him? I don’t know for sure but I worked at Target in high school and college and one time we looked over and saw through the two-way window that my manager was having sex with her boyfriend in her office. If the light hits it in just a way, you can see everything.
There’s a C, or D, or E plot about Winston wanting to tell Denise he’s sorry for kissing another girl. He goes to Bruce for advice. Bruce tells him to buy her jewelry, thus making him officially the Best Boyfriend in this book. Bruce tells Winston to mention his name to the “proprietress” of the jewelry store in town, which seems unlike him. I didn’t know Bruce used multisyllabic words.
Apparently when Tom and Elizabeth were broken up, Tom bought CONDOMS and brought one on his date with Dana Upshaw! SCANDAL! SCANDAL! SEX!
OK you know how before I wrote that Nick was wondering if Clay “Hammer Hands” di Palma could see him through the two-way mirror? The answer is yes, because di Palma goes to the mirror and smashes it with his hands and starts screaming (AWESOMELY), “Death to you Nick Fox! Death to you!” He promises he will kill Nick if it’s the last thing he does, ever, and that there’s no where on the planet Nick can hide from him. He’s finished! To which I say: 1) Uh-oh, and 2) You’d think the SVPD would invest in some better quality two way mirrors?
Jess visits the police station and a lady cop tries to rip her dress and Jessica accuses her of police brutality. Hee! She wants to see Nick, and the chief of police tells Jessica that Nick might be going into the Witness Protection Program. ………..? WTF? I thought the whole point of the WPP was that nobody was supposed to know! Jessica is horrified, but more at the thought of Nick leaving her forever than the idea of the people who are supposed to be protecting him being so incredibly reckless with his safety.
Dana Upshaw’s friends are pissed at her because she ditched them for her boyfriend. Now that she has no boyfriend she wants them and they won’t talk to her. Aw. This makes me feel sorry for Dana. She’s only like 18, and this has happened to me, and while it is not right, you sort of get caught up in your new love and stuff. Poor kid. Dana’s friends also accuse her of almost having sex with Elizabeth Wakefield’s boyfriend, and Dana, all I can say is these are not the friends you want. Elizabeth sees Dana across the dining hall and decides to go and talk to her.
Danny’s plan to revive Isabella has not started working yet, but he hasn’t given up hope. Please excuse me while I go make an addendum to my living will. OK, I’m back.
Winston gives Denise a present: a little elephant figurine carved of ivory. Denise is pissed because of the cruelty to animals and throws it at him. You should have listened to Bruce, Winnie!
Someone is following Jessica! She thinks its one of Clay “Mirror Warrier” di Palma’s hitmen! She runs to her dorm but the guy (dressed all in black, natch) catches up to her. “You’re not making my job very easy,” he says, and Jess thinks she’s going to die, and passes out. Turns out the guy is an undercover cop charged with protecting her.
Elizabeth gives Winston some advice about just being nice to Denise and showing her he is sorry. It’s pretty good advice, actually, but not as good as Bruce’s.
Jessica gets a note from Chief Wallace telling her where and when to meet Nick to say goodbye before he goes off into the Witness Protection Program. Instead of telling Jessica how shady this is, Elizabeth loans her a dress to wear. Can anyone answer the age old question of why it is that Elizabeth always has these beautiful clothes that Jessica wants? I thought her stuff was 100% Dockers and polo shirts?
Todd runs into Dana Upshaw at the music building. She’s crying. He feels bad for her. I do too, I can’t help myself.
Jess and Nick are all lovey-dovey and Jess tells Nick she wishes he’d been her boyfriend forever, and that he’d been her prom date in high school, and that she wishes she could “rewrite all of my entire past and have you replace all the boys I ever dated.” Far away in heaven, the angel of a dirtbiker cries sparkling tears into a cloud. They pronounce their love to each other and then Jessica proposes and Nick is like, “Wait, what?” She starts planning what she’ll wear (a “lovely ivory silk dress”) and Nick tells her to hold on. He wants to marry her, but he’s concerned for her safety. Jess says she will go away and join the Witness Protection Program with him. Nick wonders about Elizabeth? Jessica says basically that Elizabeth won’t care, which is pretty evident by her concern for her sister in this book. Nick doesn’t say yes. But he doesn’t say no. He just tells Jess she can’t come to the court to hear the verdict that night. Which means there is a 100% chance Jessica will. He says goodbye to her and thinks that this might be the last time he ever holds her in his arms, which doesn’t bode well for the Wakefield-Fox wedding that Jess is probably still planning in her head.
Elizabeth meets Dana at a coffee shop, because who cares if her sister is in turmoil? Elizabeth wants a truce with Dana, and Dana says that makes Liz her only friend. Aw. But then. Oh, then. Elizabeth starts talking about how she knows Tom and Dana didn’t have sex and Dana is kind of shocked that someone she barely knows would bring this up out of the blue, and is all, “Excuse me?” And then (and then!) she is like, “Tom and I had sex, Elizabeth. We had ALL the sex.” And Elizabeth is crushed, because if she is not having sex, then nobody else is allowed to, either.
Winston gives Denise a cheeseburger and she’s pissed. HA! I’d love a cheeseburger right now. Denise kicks the cheeseburger and wow, way to waste food, Miss Cruelty to Animals Activist!
Danny goes to Theta House to search Isabella’s room for something that will bring her out of her coma. Like…a real doctor? He finds an Elvis record that they danced to on their first date and some perfume that Danny has given her.
Oh you guys. YOU GUYS. Tom DID have sex with Dana. She wasn’t lying, as I suspected she was. Do you know what this means? (Besides the fact that the book before this must have been awesome, with all the sex and PCP?) It means Elizabeth and Todd are broken up for GOOD. Tom collapses and thinks of how sex, like crime, just doesn’t pay.
Elizabeth finds Jessica to check in and make sure she’s doing all right, consider the stress of the trial and breakup and everythin-oh. No. She wants to tell Jess about how Tom and Dana had sex. Jess, who has also had sex, is a lot more understanding than I would be in this situation.
Nick founds out that Clay “I’ve Had Sex, Too” di Palma has a contract out on his life. Things aren’t looking good for Nick Fox, y’all. Captain Wallace tells Nick he needs to go to Jessica and play “one more role” for her sake.
Of course Jessica has gone to the reading of the verdict, in full old-lady regalia. Oh, wait! She’s dressed as an old man this time. Even better! One of Nick’s cop buddies recognizes her. He tells her to leave or else she is under arrest. This guy is the best cop on the squad. Jessica leaves.
At the hospital Danny is playing Isabella’s records for her, draping her clothes over her, spraying her with perfume. It’s kind of sweet. My heart is starting to melt. Isabella opens her eyes! But-she doesn’t recognize anybody. Not her parents, not Danny. She has no idea where she is or who anybody is. Amnesia, cha cha cha!
Nick gets a note from Jessica, noting that if di Palma’s men find it, it’s curtains for Jess. He steals out of the courtroom and meets her in a supply closet and makes out with her in her full old man costume. Which is sweet and gross at the same time. But then….
Jess realizes that this is a lot like her dream, the one she had at the beginning of the book when Nick was shot. She starts pulling him along the hallway, but he won’t listen to her. The District Attorney comes out and stops them. Jess is terrified, but Nick tells her to go. She’s got to get out of there or she’ll get in trouble. She doesn’t want to leave. Nick says he loves her. She loves him, too.
Dana Upshaw is going to lose her scholarship. See, kids? If you have sex, it ruins your life.
The verdict is read and Clay di Palma is guilty. Jessica, who is still at the courthouse, is ecstatic. Now Nick doesn’t have to go away! But then! A shot rings out-and Nick Fox is on the ground. Jessica doesn’t know if he’s alive or dead.
Dana Upshaw and Todd Wilkins talk about their problems and decide to go out for coffee. Denise finally agrees to forgive Winston after he sings “I Want to Hold Your Hand” outside her window.
Elizabeth (who was also at the reading of the verdict, doesn’t anybody listen?) drives Jessica to the hospital. She sees Graham, the DA. “It’s too late,” he tells her. Nick Fox is dead.
I actually felt a little sad when I read this. After Sam Woodruff, I think Nick was my favorite of Jess’s boyfriends, but that’s not saying much. I didn’t like how stupid Jess was when Nick was around, always trying to become a spy and horn in on his investigations. I really don’t think she was supposed to be that stupid; the writers got carried away. But I think out of all of Jessica’s boyfriends Nick treated her the best, and it was nice to see her being treated nicely for a change instead of beaten or raped or emotionally abused. Of course it had to end, though, because only Elizabeth is allowed to be happy, and GOD, a nuclear bomb couldn’t kill Tom Watts. If you think about it, though, this is Jessica’s third dead boyfriend in as many years. Sam and Christian in 11th grade and now Nick freshman year in college. Will the Wakefield parents finally get her some therapy? We’ll have to wait until the next installment to find out, but I promise you the answer is no.