SVH #130, Model Flirt
I notice
nanamik622 has already done a recap of Cover Girls, the first book in this miniseries. But since she mentions in it “I do hope that someone owns #130”, I’m asssuming she won’t mind me finishing the series’ recap.
This is my premiere post in 1bruce1, so I apologize in advance if it’s not up to this blog’s usual fantabulous standards. Feel free to give me feedback. Too long? Not snarky enough? Let me know. I just had to have a try because it recently dawned on me that, having read most of Sweet Valley High and being an avid collector of almost every Sweet Valley series, I am a perfect candidate to recap books. Or maybe I’ll be a crap candidate...but fuck it. (Or as a Sweet Valley native would say…fudge it? Place it gently where the sun don’t shine? Their euphemisms for swears are truly entertaining.) This miniseries was one of my favourites as a kid....oh, alright. As a teenager.
First, I must dissect the front cover.
Jessica, looking 30, is obviously flirting outrageously with Flair's fashion photog Quentin. She’s wearing an outfit consistent with what the books says everyone is wearing at the moment - the long blazer and short miniskirt look, with platform shoes. Quentin looks similar to how he’s described in the book, although he seems more ‘slickly styled’ than ‘rumpled' and 'artistic’. One thing that’s decidedly incongruent is that the characters are pictured outside by a trailer, while every photography scene in the book is set inside in the studio. I’m probably being overly picky here, but hey, that’s what this blog’s for...
I gotta say, I think the name of this book is really stupid. I can’t figure it out. Does anyone have an opinion on why they called it “Model Flirt”? At least “Cover Girls” makes sense and “Fashion Victim” is mildly witty, considering its content. “Model Flirt” just seems like a title a ghostwriter shat out quickly - two words that have no reason to be together.
Anyway. Both Jess and Elizabeth’s stories intermingle a lot in this book, so I’ll just call them both the A-story. There’s also some minor B-story stuff from Todd, Maria and Enid’s POVs, but it's pretty snore-worthy.
The A Story
We start the book with a boring scene of Liz crying in the photography department’s darkroom. She recaps for us the end bit of the last book - where she caught Todd making out with Simone the Sour-faced Supermodel. No! Liz’s heart is broken! Whyyy!
Liz relives the scene as if it were a movie:
“Tight close-up. Elizabeth stares in horror at the sight before her…
Focus on Simone’s smooth profile. And the angular cut of her sleek black hair. And the shiny gleam of her gold bikini”.
Shut up, Liz. LAME. I love/hate when the ghostwriters try and be “creative” in their writing techniques. Does Liz really need to recap a scene that supposedly just happened 2 seconds ago in Sweet Valley time?
Then Todd comes after Liz and they have one of their typical stupid fights where neither of them listens to the other. They both act like morons, Todd a little more so than Liz. He actually gets mad at her for being mad at him, which is ridiculous. You’d think he could understand why she’s mad, seeing as how HE CHEATED ON HER. Breaking the monogamous vow of a relationship is a little worse than Liz’s being busy with her internship for all of three days. How can he not expect her to be all “I can do better”? Work a little harder to explain yourself, Todd. He lets her break up with him. The passage ends with Liz’s woeful “It didn’t matter how interesting you were, it didn’t matter how much character you had. What all guys really wanted were supermodels.” Jeez. So it’s not even enough to be blond, aqua-eyed and perfect-figured anymore? I guess we’re all doomed.
The ghostwriter then mentions Winston Egbert and Aaron Dallas’ internships for some reason, even though they don’t even appear in this or any of the other books in this miniseries.
Cut to Casa Wakefield. Jess is mad because Liz forgot to give her a lift home, but softens when she hears what happened with Todd. Jess gets kind of awesome being all huffy on her sister’s side. Then there’s a brief recap of the previous book. Apparently, the twins share perfect California-girl good looks and size 6 figures, but couldn’t be more different. Who'd have thunk it? Although lately, Liz has become a “power-hungry shark with an eye only for her own success”.
…So:
…Am I getting this right?
Insert random rant, re: Todd and Shark Girl’s relationship. Um, it says in SVH #1( Double Love) that Todd had moved to Sweet Valley recently. But as we all know, Todd is in Sweet Valley all the way back when the twins are seven years old - in the SV Kids series! Not to mention that Liz and Todd were ‘sort-of’ (gag me) boyfriend-and-girlfriend all through Sweet Valley Twins. Grrrr. MASSIVE inconsistencies. But who knows, maybe the entire town of Sweet Valley got Todd-specific amnesia just before SVH’s junior year started. I wouldn’t be surprised…what with all the other crazy things we’re expected to believe have happened in Magical Overdramatic Inconsistent Time Warp Fantasy Multiple Murder and Fake Attempted Rape Land…*cough* sorry, I mean Sweet Valley.
Back to the book. Liz calls Enid and Maria for some support, but they are mad at her for being a crappy friend and blow her off. I kinda felt bad for Liz here, since it was way rotten timing for her, but sorry, you sanctimonious bitch. You were a shit to your boring friends, and you deserved their lack of sympathy.
The next day at Flair, Simone continues to be a complete stereotype of a model and treat Jessica like shit while demanding mineral water and carrot sticks. This makes Jessica simmer with rage. Jess schemes on how to destroy Simone’s career...FORESHADOWING.
Leona tells Elizabeth that her idea for a regular column in Flair (“Free Style”) was rejected by the magazine’s board.
Jessica gets some mysterious and colorful sushi sent to her for lunch, and it’s not from Quentin. Mail-room guy Cameron, the dude she loves, obviously couldn’t afford this...or COULD HE? Who’s it from? (FORESHADOWING) In other news, Jess is friends with the make-up artist, who is black. How progressive!
Todd and Simone make out sickeningly during a photo shoot.
Later, Jess recaps this for Elizabeth.
Elizabeth actually HOLDS UP HER HAND to interrupt Jessica’s recap. Okay, I understand that Jess was being insensitive and dumb in telling Liz a detailed account of her ex kissing a supermodel. But what 16 year old uses the old hand/stop gesture, unless it’s in a mock-sassy ‘talk to the hand’ kinda way? It just reeks of ‘teacher’. I guess having an irresponsible, self-centered sociopath for a sister must really make you an uptight, constipated bitch. Drink some prune juice, Liz, I beg of you. Drink some prune juice and let it out.
Jess has made a date with both Quentin and Cameron for the same night at the same restaurant (cute, but didn’t we see this in Who's Who?, the Daniella Fromage/Magenta Galaxy book? Worst fake names ever, by the way). Instead of...oh, you know, cancelling one date and moving it to another night, like any sane person would do, Jess decides to use her twin powers. She somehow manages to rope Elizabeth into going on one of her dates. Twin powers, activate!
The stupid thing is, Jess considers changing her date with Cameron to another night, but decides not to because he might find out she’s gone out with Quentin instead. Um, but HELLO, Jess? You ARE going out with Quentin anyway, so isn’t there just as much risk as Cameron finding out? But whatever, the ghostwriters clearly just wanted a fun and confusing situation. This also might explain why, instead of one twin going on one date and vice versa, they have to keep switching places in the bathroom. Yes, in real life I’m sure this’d work…
Predictably, Quentin proves to be helpful to Jess’ career but a total self-centered bore, and Cameron is professionally useless but the most interesting, witty, attentive and wonderful boy ever.
Elizabeth orders frogs legs and calamari (stuff Jess hates) for Jess’ dinner. Kind of funny.
Liz feels all uncomfortable in Jess’ short minidress (yet she’s been buying long blazers with supershort skirts for office attire at Flair? If she’d been wearing them every day at work, she wouldn’t be uncomfortable in them by now. Shut up, ghostwriters). A lot of this miniseries is just Liz waxing negative and complaining about fashion and its’ demeaningness …yet hypocritically conforming to it to get ahead.
Liz is surprised that poor, mail-room Cameron orders their meals in perfect French and seems at home in the fancy surroundings. Is Cameron who he says he is? - FORESHADOWING!!!!! Er, I mean...weird. (NB: How do you seem ‘at home’ in a restaurant? Did he unbutton his pants, pull up a beer and start flipping channels?).
Cameron asks some questions about 'Jess'' life, and Liz makes up some stupid lies, like that the cheerleading squad’s hardest move is a two-by-two-by-two pyramid. Even though Liz admits herself that she was on the cheerleading squad (in books 112-114), she can’t remember a single move. What an idiot. There’s that SV Amnesia again.
Love Jessica’s sarcastic internal monologue when on her Quentin date:
Quentin: “I’ve shot about every famous model there is,”
'Somebody should shoot you,' Jessica thought.
Cameron finds out about the twin switch because he notices Elizabeth’s watch (as we all know, Jess never wears one). Elizabeth, you MORON! You’d think the girls would have noticed a detail like that. Can’t you take your damn watch off for one hour, Liz, you anal, time-obsessed anal time-obsesser?!
Jess asks Liz if Cameron kissed her goodnight and Liz lies for a little bit and says he did. Funny. I like Liz’s sassy attitude in this book.
The next day, Liz finds out Leona has questionable ethics when she takes the weekend off to ski with her boyfriend, but makes Liz lie and say she’s off sick. Liz is frowny (to borrow
strangerface’s lingo). Her role model is a lying skank.
Lila and Jess suntan and exchange witty repartee. Lila thinks her internship duties (answering the phones at her Dad’s computer company) are more taxing than Jessica’s manual labour and moving of giant boulders. Lol, ahh Lila. She also suggests that if Jess really likes Cameron, she shouldn’t wait til Monday to apologize to him about the twin switch - she should call him right now (good thinking Lila). But when they call information, there’s NO listing for a Cameron Smith! How ODD! Is Cameron who he says he is? - FORESHADOWING!!! (Lol, Lila suggests “he must be too poor to have a phone”…yeah, but um…what if he just has an unlisted number?).
Simone shows up ROOLY late and tired-looking to a photo shoot because of her and Todd’s partying (see B-story), so Quentin is MAD.
The fashion stick does a lacklustre job, but finally the shoot’s done. She stalks off, saying that she will be at an exclusive spa for the weekend where no one can reach her. Then Jess (sneaky!) quickly exposes the film so the shots are ruined. “NOOO!” moans Quentin. “MY LIFE…EET IZ RUINED! MY PHOTOS…ZEY ARE DEAD!”
Enter Jessica, who sweetly suggests they reshoot the layout with her in place of Simone. Quentin reluctantly goes along with this and the shots turn out BEAUTIFUL! STUNNING! MAGNIFIQUE! You can’t even TELL that Jess is only 5”6 and way too short to be a model! She’s a NATURAL!...yeah.
Leona breaks her leg skiing and calls Liz to tell her to basically take over her job and personal business til she makes it back. Liz is overwhelmed with tons of stuff to do. Leona tells her to water her plants and feed her cats (um, way beyond the call of duty. Doesn’t she have a friend or relative who could do that?).
Liz is excited to explore her mentor’s apartment. Liz wants to bone both Leona and her apartment:
“This apartment is just like Leona”, Elizabeth thought, “Sleek, modern and fashionable”.
After Liz does the odd jobs Leona asked of her, she actually snoops into Leona’s room and tries on her clothes. Lol! Single white female! This is kind of sinister, but awesome. I would probably snoop around my idol’s house too, if I could. I don’t know about trying on their clothes though…creepy.
It goes beyond creepy when Liz starts talking as if she IS Leona.
“Now what?” she said to herself, placing an imagined French-manicured hand on her cheek. “Oh yes, the mail.”...“Now what’s this?” she asked. “Ah, an invitation to a runway show. Hmm, I’ll have to check my schedule.”
Um…this is disturbing. Shut up Liz.
Then Liz plays a voice recorder that reveals Leona has taken over her "Free Style" idea and plans to present it to the magazine board as her own. FROWNY!!!!!!!!!! Liz is devastated. Her idol is not only a lying skank but a plagiarizing hussy.
Jess goes to apologize to Cameron and for some reason he forgives her and asks her out for the following night. She accepts.
Liz goes into a depressed, bed-ridden funk, but Reggie (Liz’s work friend - an Asian - how PROGRESSIVE!) asks her out to lunch, forcing her to snap out of it. Just telling Reggie the story makes Liz feel better, and they hatch a plan (which is mysteriously hidden from the reader thusfar) to pay Leona back.
Jess pops into the photog studio the next morning to check out her modelling prints. Quentin catches her off guard and starts making out with her, even though she’s vowed to leave him alone now that she has what she wants from him. Of course, because it’s Sweet Valley, Cameron walks right in at that moment. Gasps and frownies all around. Cameron tells Jess “No more chances” and leaves. Wahhh.
Will Liz get revenge on her evil boss?
Will Jessica ever manage to reconcile with her new love?
…I don’t really need to answer these questions because 1) The answers are pretty obvious if you know anything about Sweet Valley, and 2) I’m gonna recap the next book soon.
B STORIES
B1 Todd, bearing roses, goes to apologize to Elizabeth for making out with supermodel Simone (good move…GOLD STAR, Todd!). But he does this while Liz is in a meeting with Leona (um… bad move, Todd, especially since you know how obsessed Liz was with her internship in the first place. Remember, Todd? Liz takes her job seriously? There’s that Sweet Valley Amnesia again. YOU LOSE the gold star, Todd…).
Liz tells Todd over the office intercom that she never wants to see him again (awesome) and the receptionist has to suppress a smile (lol). Todd is first hurt, then seethy with anger. To emphasize the seethe, Todd crushes the roses into a garbage can, not caring that the thorns make his hand bleed in the process. Emo Todd!
Todd goes clubbing with Simone and is a gauche loser. PS: In what galaxy are 16 year olds allowed into clubs? Although I suppose in L.A. that doesn’t seem to matter when you’re a celebrity, what with the tons of pics of Lindsay Lohan partying before she was 21.
The hip LA crowd is just plain weird. One of the (surely drugged up) models at the club asks Todd “Wanna join the love parade?”…WHAT THE FUCK IS A LOVE PARADE? Drugged-up model calls it a ‘communion with being’.
Stupid Todd talks himself into liking Simone when he clearly can’t stand her. Sometimes I can’t believe how clueless the kids in this series are about their emotions. They seem to always be trying to convince themselves that things are one way when they are clearly another, until there’s a big “AHA!” moment when they realise what an idiot they’ve been.
Todd gets grounded when his parents see his and Simone’s picture on the cover of a tawdry tabloid mag. But he sneaks out anyway the next time Simone asks him out (“Are you a man or a mouse, Todd?” Simone sneered). (What a charming, caring girlfriend)
All is well until Todd’s parents notice the club stamp on his hand, and his feeble attempts to lie about it go squelched. He’s in BIG. TRUBS. If he crosses the line one more time he’s toast...but his breakfast is too fancy to have toast (ooh, smooth transition there).
LOL at Todd’s gourmet breakfast:
A large platter of scrambled eggs stood in the middle of the table, with a basket of homemade blueberry muffins next to it. His mother had fixed a fresh fruit salad as well, with cantaloupe, honeydew melon, and kiwi.
This is awesome. Go Mrs. Wilkins. What mother has the time to make a huge spread like that?
Todd tries to invite Simone over to his house to meet his parents after she stalks off from her last shoot with Quentin, but she blows him off. Haha, nice.
Todd is late for dinner that night and his parents call all his friends looking for him. He explodes at this. Doesn’t he have any independence? I can see it from Todd’s POV, but also from his parents…um you’re only 16, Todd, even if you look and act 32. Anyway, parents Wilkins ask him to give up modelling and that’s the last straw for Todd. Both parties blow up at each other and Todd vows to move out. OOOH.
B2 (Not really even worth mentioning, but here it is)
Maria and Enid set each other up with guys from each other’s internships. They go on a double blind date.The guys pay them no attention, probably because Enid and Maria are boring. They go to a place called Bobo’s Burger Barn where they can draw on the tablecloths with crayons. It sounds awesome, I kind of want to go there.
There’s a few boring scenes in the book from Maria and Enid’s points of view, mainly them talking and thinking about whether they should be friends with Elizabeth again. No one really cares. At the end they finally decide she’s learned her lesson. Snore.
Voila, la recap de book #130! Tune in soon for #131: Fashion Victim...
nanamik622 has already done a recap of Cover Girls, the first book in this miniseries. But since she mentions in it “I do hope that someone owns #130”, I’m asssuming she won’t mind me finishing the series’ recap.
This is my premiere post in 1bruce1, so I apologize in advance if it’s not up to this blog’s usual fantabulous standards. Feel free to give me feedback. Too long? Not snarky enough? Let me know. I just had to have a try because it recently dawned on me that, having read most of Sweet Valley High and being an avid collector of almost every Sweet Valley series, I am a perfect candidate to recap books. Or maybe I’ll be a crap candidate...but fuck it. (Or as a Sweet Valley native would say…fudge it? Place it gently where the sun don’t shine? Their euphemisms for swears are truly entertaining.) This miniseries was one of my favourites as a kid....oh, alright. As a teenager.
First, I must dissect the front cover.
Jessica, looking 30, is obviously flirting outrageously with Flair's fashion photog Quentin. She’s wearing an outfit consistent with what the books says everyone is wearing at the moment - the long blazer and short miniskirt look, with platform shoes. Quentin looks similar to how he’s described in the book, although he seems more ‘slickly styled’ than ‘rumpled' and 'artistic’. One thing that’s decidedly incongruent is that the characters are pictured outside by a trailer, while every photography scene in the book is set inside in the studio. I’m probably being overly picky here, but hey, that’s what this blog’s for...
I gotta say, I think the name of this book is really stupid. I can’t figure it out. Does anyone have an opinion on why they called it “Model Flirt”? At least “Cover Girls” makes sense and “Fashion Victim” is mildly witty, considering its content. “Model Flirt” just seems like a title a ghostwriter shat out quickly - two words that have no reason to be together.
Anyway. Both Jess and Elizabeth’s stories intermingle a lot in this book, so I’ll just call them both the A-story. There’s also some minor B-story stuff from Todd, Maria and Enid’s POVs, but it's pretty snore-worthy.
The A Story
We start the book with a boring scene of Liz crying in the photography department’s darkroom. She recaps for us the end bit of the last book - where she caught Todd making out with Simone the Sour-faced Supermodel. No! Liz’s heart is broken! Whyyy!
Liz relives the scene as if it were a movie:
“Tight close-up. Elizabeth stares in horror at the sight before her…
Focus on Simone’s smooth profile. And the angular cut of her sleek black hair. And the shiny gleam of her gold bikini”.
Shut up, Liz. LAME. I love/hate when the ghostwriters try and be “creative” in their writing techniques. Does Liz really need to recap a scene that supposedly just happened 2 seconds ago in Sweet Valley time?
Then Todd comes after Liz and they have one of their typical stupid fights where neither of them listens to the other. They both act like morons, Todd a little more so than Liz. He actually gets mad at her for being mad at him, which is ridiculous. You’d think he could understand why she’s mad, seeing as how HE CHEATED ON HER. Breaking the monogamous vow of a relationship is a little worse than Liz’s being busy with her internship for all of three days. How can he not expect her to be all “I can do better”? Work a little harder to explain yourself, Todd. He lets her break up with him. The passage ends with Liz’s woeful “It didn’t matter how interesting you were, it didn’t matter how much character you had. What all guys really wanted were supermodels.” Jeez. So it’s not even enough to be blond, aqua-eyed and perfect-figured anymore? I guess we’re all doomed.
The ghostwriter then mentions Winston Egbert and Aaron Dallas’ internships for some reason, even though they don’t even appear in this or any of the other books in this miniseries.
Cut to Casa Wakefield. Jess is mad because Liz forgot to give her a lift home, but softens when she hears what happened with Todd. Jess gets kind of awesome being all huffy on her sister’s side. Then there’s a brief recap of the previous book. Apparently, the twins share perfect California-girl good looks and size 6 figures, but couldn’t be more different. Who'd have thunk it? Although lately, Liz has become a “power-hungry shark with an eye only for her own success”.
…So:
…Am I getting this right?
Insert random rant, re: Todd and Shark Girl’s relationship. Um, it says in SVH #1( Double Love) that Todd had moved to Sweet Valley recently. But as we all know, Todd is in Sweet Valley all the way back when the twins are seven years old - in the SV Kids series! Not to mention that Liz and Todd were ‘sort-of’ (gag me) boyfriend-and-girlfriend all through Sweet Valley Twins. Grrrr. MASSIVE inconsistencies. But who knows, maybe the entire town of Sweet Valley got Todd-specific amnesia just before SVH’s junior year started. I wouldn’t be surprised…what with all the other crazy things we’re expected to believe have happened in Magical Overdramatic Inconsistent Time Warp Fantasy Multiple Murder and Fake Attempted Rape Land…*cough* sorry, I mean Sweet Valley.
Back to the book. Liz calls Enid and Maria for some support, but they are mad at her for being a crappy friend and blow her off. I kinda felt bad for Liz here, since it was way rotten timing for her, but sorry, you sanctimonious bitch. You were a shit to your boring friends, and you deserved their lack of sympathy.
The next day at Flair, Simone continues to be a complete stereotype of a model and treat Jessica like shit while demanding mineral water and carrot sticks. This makes Jessica simmer with rage. Jess schemes on how to destroy Simone’s career...FORESHADOWING.
Leona tells Elizabeth that her idea for a regular column in Flair (“Free Style”) was rejected by the magazine’s board.
Jessica gets some mysterious and colorful sushi sent to her for lunch, and it’s not from Quentin. Mail-room guy Cameron, the dude she loves, obviously couldn’t afford this...or COULD HE? Who’s it from? (FORESHADOWING) In other news, Jess is friends with the make-up artist, who is black. How progressive!
Todd and Simone make out sickeningly during a photo shoot.
Later, Jess recaps this for Elizabeth.
Elizabeth actually HOLDS UP HER HAND to interrupt Jessica’s recap. Okay, I understand that Jess was being insensitive and dumb in telling Liz a detailed account of her ex kissing a supermodel. But what 16 year old uses the old hand/stop gesture, unless it’s in a mock-sassy ‘talk to the hand’ kinda way? It just reeks of ‘teacher’. I guess having an irresponsible, self-centered sociopath for a sister must really make you an uptight, constipated bitch. Drink some prune juice, Liz, I beg of you. Drink some prune juice and let it out.
Jess has made a date with both Quentin and Cameron for the same night at the same restaurant (cute, but didn’t we see this in Who's Who?, the Daniella Fromage/Magenta Galaxy book? Worst fake names ever, by the way). Instead of...oh, you know, cancelling one date and moving it to another night, like any sane person would do, Jess decides to use her twin powers. She somehow manages to rope Elizabeth into going on one of her dates. Twin powers, activate!
The stupid thing is, Jess considers changing her date with Cameron to another night, but decides not to because he might find out she’s gone out with Quentin instead. Um, but HELLO, Jess? You ARE going out with Quentin anyway, so isn’t there just as much risk as Cameron finding out? But whatever, the ghostwriters clearly just wanted a fun and confusing situation. This also might explain why, instead of one twin going on one date and vice versa, they have to keep switching places in the bathroom. Yes, in real life I’m sure this’d work…
Predictably, Quentin proves to be helpful to Jess’ career but a total self-centered bore, and Cameron is professionally useless but the most interesting, witty, attentive and wonderful boy ever.
Elizabeth orders frogs legs and calamari (stuff Jess hates) for Jess’ dinner. Kind of funny.
Liz feels all uncomfortable in Jess’ short minidress (yet she’s been buying long blazers with supershort skirts for office attire at Flair? If she’d been wearing them every day at work, she wouldn’t be uncomfortable in them by now. Shut up, ghostwriters). A lot of this miniseries is just Liz waxing negative and complaining about fashion and its’ demeaningness …yet hypocritically conforming to it to get ahead.
Liz is surprised that poor, mail-room Cameron orders their meals in perfect French and seems at home in the fancy surroundings. Is Cameron who he says he is? - FORESHADOWING!!!!! Er, I mean...weird. (NB: How do you seem ‘at home’ in a restaurant? Did he unbutton his pants, pull up a beer and start flipping channels?).
Cameron asks some questions about 'Jess'' life, and Liz makes up some stupid lies, like that the cheerleading squad’s hardest move is a two-by-two-by-two pyramid. Even though Liz admits herself that she was on the cheerleading squad (in books 112-114), she can’t remember a single move. What an idiot. There’s that SV Amnesia again.
Love Jessica’s sarcastic internal monologue when on her Quentin date:
Quentin: “I’ve shot about every famous model there is,”
'Somebody should shoot you,' Jessica thought.
Cameron finds out about the twin switch because he notices Elizabeth’s watch (as we all know, Jess never wears one). Elizabeth, you MORON! You’d think the girls would have noticed a detail like that. Can’t you take your damn watch off for one hour, Liz, you anal, time-obsessed anal time-obsesser?!
Jess asks Liz if Cameron kissed her goodnight and Liz lies for a little bit and says he did. Funny. I like Liz’s sassy attitude in this book.
The next day, Liz finds out Leona has questionable ethics when she takes the weekend off to ski with her boyfriend, but makes Liz lie and say she’s off sick. Liz is frowny (to borrow
strangerface’s lingo). Her role model is a lying skank.
Lila and Jess suntan and exchange witty repartee. Lila thinks her internship duties (answering the phones at her Dad’s computer company) are more taxing than Jessica’s manual labour and moving of giant boulders. Lol, ahh Lila. She also suggests that if Jess really likes Cameron, she shouldn’t wait til Monday to apologize to him about the twin switch - she should call him right now (good thinking Lila). But when they call information, there’s NO listing for a Cameron Smith! How ODD! Is Cameron who he says he is? - FORESHADOWING!!! (Lol, Lila suggests “he must be too poor to have a phone”…yeah, but um…what if he just has an unlisted number?).
Simone shows up ROOLY late and tired-looking to a photo shoot because of her and Todd’s partying (see B-story), so Quentin is MAD.
The fashion stick does a lacklustre job, but finally the shoot’s done. She stalks off, saying that she will be at an exclusive spa for the weekend where no one can reach her. Then Jess (sneaky!) quickly exposes the film so the shots are ruined. “NOOO!” moans Quentin. “MY LIFE…EET IZ RUINED! MY PHOTOS…ZEY ARE DEAD!”
Enter Jessica, who sweetly suggests they reshoot the layout with her in place of Simone. Quentin reluctantly goes along with this and the shots turn out BEAUTIFUL! STUNNING! MAGNIFIQUE! You can’t even TELL that Jess is only 5”6 and way too short to be a model! She’s a NATURAL!...yeah.
Leona breaks her leg skiing and calls Liz to tell her to basically take over her job and personal business til she makes it back. Liz is overwhelmed with tons of stuff to do. Leona tells her to water her plants and feed her cats (um, way beyond the call of duty. Doesn’t she have a friend or relative who could do that?).
Liz is excited to explore her mentor’s apartment. Liz wants to bone both Leona and her apartment:
“This apartment is just like Leona”, Elizabeth thought, “Sleek, modern and fashionable”.
After Liz does the odd jobs Leona asked of her, she actually snoops into Leona’s room and tries on her clothes. Lol! Single white female! This is kind of sinister, but awesome. I would probably snoop around my idol’s house too, if I could. I don’t know about trying on their clothes though…creepy.
It goes beyond creepy when Liz starts talking as if she IS Leona.
“Now what?” she said to herself, placing an imagined French-manicured hand on her cheek. “Oh yes, the mail.”...“Now what’s this?” she asked. “Ah, an invitation to a runway show. Hmm, I’ll have to check my schedule.”
Um…this is disturbing. Shut up Liz.
Then Liz plays a voice recorder that reveals Leona has taken over her "Free Style" idea and plans to present it to the magazine board as her own. FROWNY!!!!!!!!!! Liz is devastated. Her idol is not only a lying skank but a plagiarizing hussy.
Jess goes to apologize to Cameron and for some reason he forgives her and asks her out for the following night. She accepts.
Liz goes into a depressed, bed-ridden funk, but Reggie (Liz’s work friend - an Asian - how PROGRESSIVE!) asks her out to lunch, forcing her to snap out of it. Just telling Reggie the story makes Liz feel better, and they hatch a plan (which is mysteriously hidden from the reader thusfar) to pay Leona back.
Jess pops into the photog studio the next morning to check out her modelling prints. Quentin catches her off guard and starts making out with her, even though she’s vowed to leave him alone now that she has what she wants from him. Of course, because it’s Sweet Valley, Cameron walks right in at that moment. Gasps and frownies all around. Cameron tells Jess “No more chances” and leaves. Wahhh.
Will Liz get revenge on her evil boss?
Will Jessica ever manage to reconcile with her new love?
…I don’t really need to answer these questions because 1) The answers are pretty obvious if you know anything about Sweet Valley, and 2) I’m gonna recap the next book soon.
B STORIES
B1 Todd, bearing roses, goes to apologize to Elizabeth for making out with supermodel Simone (good move…GOLD STAR, Todd!). But he does this while Liz is in a meeting with Leona (um… bad move, Todd, especially since you know how obsessed Liz was with her internship in the first place. Remember, Todd? Liz takes her job seriously? There’s that Sweet Valley Amnesia again. YOU LOSE the gold star, Todd…).
Liz tells Todd over the office intercom that she never wants to see him again (awesome) and the receptionist has to suppress a smile (lol). Todd is first hurt, then seethy with anger. To emphasize the seethe, Todd crushes the roses into a garbage can, not caring that the thorns make his hand bleed in the process. Emo Todd!
Todd goes clubbing with Simone and is a gauche loser. PS: In what galaxy are 16 year olds allowed into clubs? Although I suppose in L.A. that doesn’t seem to matter when you’re a celebrity, what with the tons of pics of Lindsay Lohan partying before she was 21.
The hip LA crowd is just plain weird. One of the (surely drugged up) models at the club asks Todd “Wanna join the love parade?”…WHAT THE FUCK IS A LOVE PARADE? Drugged-up model calls it a ‘communion with being’.
Stupid Todd talks himself into liking Simone when he clearly can’t stand her. Sometimes I can’t believe how clueless the kids in this series are about their emotions. They seem to always be trying to convince themselves that things are one way when they are clearly another, until there’s a big “AHA!” moment when they realise what an idiot they’ve been.
Todd gets grounded when his parents see his and Simone’s picture on the cover of a tawdry tabloid mag. But he sneaks out anyway the next time Simone asks him out (“Are you a man or a mouse, Todd?” Simone sneered). (What a charming, caring girlfriend)
All is well until Todd’s parents notice the club stamp on his hand, and his feeble attempts to lie about it go squelched. He’s in BIG. TRUBS. If he crosses the line one more time he’s toast...but his breakfast is too fancy to have toast (ooh, smooth transition there).
LOL at Todd’s gourmet breakfast:
A large platter of scrambled eggs stood in the middle of the table, with a basket of homemade blueberry muffins next to it. His mother had fixed a fresh fruit salad as well, with cantaloupe, honeydew melon, and kiwi.
This is awesome. Go Mrs. Wilkins. What mother has the time to make a huge spread like that?
Todd tries to invite Simone over to his house to meet his parents after she stalks off from her last shoot with Quentin, but she blows him off. Haha, nice.
Todd is late for dinner that night and his parents call all his friends looking for him. He explodes at this. Doesn’t he have any independence? I can see it from Todd’s POV, but also from his parents…um you’re only 16, Todd, even if you look and act 32. Anyway, parents Wilkins ask him to give up modelling and that’s the last straw for Todd. Both parties blow up at each other and Todd vows to move out. OOOH.
B2 (Not really even worth mentioning, but here it is)
Maria and Enid set each other up with guys from each other’s internships. They go on a double blind date.The guys pay them no attention, probably because Enid and Maria are boring. They go to a place called Bobo’s Burger Barn where they can draw on the tablecloths with crayons. It sounds awesome, I kind of want to go there.
There’s a few boring scenes in the book from Maria and Enid’s points of view, mainly them talking and thinking about whether they should be friends with Elizabeth again. No one really cares. At the end they finally decide she’s learned her lesson. Snore.
Voila, la recap de book #130! Tune in soon for #131: Fashion Victim...