SVU: Killer at Sea
Sweet Valley University: Killer at Sea
This book teaches us that if it looks like someone is in trouble and could likely die, it’s best not to help, because that person totally planned the whole thing out, including their almost dying just so they can kill your boyfriend and try to bed you.
Also if you are in need of help and someone offers it, accept immediately because not only will you get to save your sister and her boyfriend but you might even find romance.
The book opens with Jessica packing for a spontaneous week-long adventure on the high seas with her boyfriend Nick. While she’s doing this she’s also talking to him on the phone letting him know that Elizabeth will drive them to the marina. This is news to Elizabeth but when Jessica ‘mouths please’ Liz just goes back to her book, both of them knowing whatever is she’ll do. When Jessica hangs up and tells Liz about her plans Elizabeth reminds Jessica that they are in the middle of the semester (mid-terms are just a week away) and she can’t just take off whenever she feels like it. Jessica says she doesn’t have a choice because Nick already booked the charter; plus Nick has been working so hard on a kidnapping case that he’s been ignoring her. This satisfies Elizabeth and off they go.
Honestly this trip is doomed from the start and not just because of the ominous book title. When the twins arrive at the police station to pick up Nick, he’s in a bad mood and mad at Jessica for bringing too many suitcases. You can tell because he’s ‘averting his eyes’, ‘interrupting tensely’, ‘scoffing’, ‘arguing’, ‘barking’?, and using an ‘emotionless tone’ before they even pull out of the parking lot. This leaves Elizabeth worried that her sister is going to be alone with Nick for an entire week, so she asks Nick if there’s a phone on the boat in case she needs to call them. Nick says no, but Jessica ignores him and tells Liz Nick will have his cell phone. But Nick doesn’t want to bring his phone because the boat will have a radio and gives it to Liz, asking her to hold onto it until they get back.
They pull into the marina and Nick yells at Jessica that she can only bring two bags so she and Liz try to consolidate them while Nick checks them in. Jess complains to Liz about what a creep Nick’s being and Elizabeth says she doesn’t want Nick to take anything out on Jessica. Jess says she’ll be fine but then goes on to ask what will happen if they fight the whole time and she’s stuck out there with him.
When you’re being such a complete jackass that even Jessica is starting to worry, it’s pretty bad. But suddenly she gets an idea and pops Nick’s cell phone into her make-up bag as an insta-fix (All Better!) and gets on the boat with her four bags. And she really does seem to think everything is fixed because when Elizabeth is still a little worried when they hug goodbye, Jessica thinks she’s jealous and “can’t stand when Elizabeth insists on being the cloud blocking out her sunshine.”
As they head out to sea Nick feels calmer, but it starts to dissipate when Jessica says she doesn’t care to know that the boat bathroom is called the head or the technicalities of sailing. When he tells she has to learn just in case something happens to him - and thinks to himself it’s his vacation too and he isn’t going to do all the work - she gives in.
After being ignored by Nick all day - even when she nuzzled that spot behind his ear -and getting blisters all over her hands while learning to sail, Jessica decides to arrange a romantic dinner. There’s not much in the cabinets and she doesn’t know how to cook “but Jessica knew better than anyone that being madly in love made anything possible”. So she puts a can of tomato soup in the microwave, throws on her royal blue kimono and brings the soup on-deck where she and Nick eat under the stars.
Nick starts to open up and tells Jessica that the trip isn’t so much a vacation but a forced leave of absence. He blew it on the kidnapping case by acting too soon, causing the kidnapper to spot him and flee with the hostage. They have a nice night but the next morning Nick gets pissed that Jessica can’t find the juice and causes him to lose his fish, so he gets her back by letting the boom smack her in the head. He may have said ‘duck’ but he was standing right near her and didn’t even try to move her out of the way, those things kill people - not cool Nick.
Elizabeth is writing a paper so she ignores the phone when it rings, but when the answering machine picks up she hears Jess’ voice and answers it. Jessica is sobbing saying her head hurts but then she hears Nick so she has to hang up. He takes Jessica back on deck to look at her head and the pair spot a man in a rowboat next to a schooner that’s on fire. The man waves them over saying he needs help and as Jess and Nick debate what to do, the dingy capsizes. Jessica wastes no time diving into the water, pulling the man from the sea and then performing CPR.
When the man comes to, one of his first thoughts is of course that “[his blonde rescuer’s] eyes were big and blue-green, the exact color of the water she’d just saved him from”. He tells them his name is Eric and has some impure thoughts about Jessica and how he wants to touch her hair. He tells them that his girlfriend Katie was trapped under the refrigerator by the boiler explosion and he couldn’t move it so he left her. Seriously? Are refrigerator deaths really that common? Even though I know he’s lying because he keeps perving out over Jessica and talks Nick out of going back to try to save Katie, very unlike a grieving boyfriend, it’s an odd lie.
Nick asks Jessica for his cell phone so he can call the coast guard before remembering that he gave it to Elizabeth. Jessica tells him that she does have it, and when Nick is only momentarily irritated Jess thinks how lucky she is to have him. Eric comes down too and Nick decides he should be the one to call the coast guard because he knows more of the details. Eric calls some pre-recorded weather forecast number instead, then tells Jessica and Nick that the coast guard is taking care of a more serious situation and they’ll be a while.
Eric starts very blatantly flirting with Jessica and she tries not to notice the “perfect ripple of abdominal muscles just above the waist band of Eric’s wet cutoffs”. But he really is creeping her out, he even walks in on her when she goes to change out of her swimsuit after the looks he’s giving her start to make her feel self-conscious. And he winks at her.
Nick tells Eric that he wants to go back to the boat - and he wants Eric to go with him. But that would ruin Eric’s plan for Detective Fox (dun dun dun, he knows who Nick is) so he pleads with Nick not to make him go back there. Nick relents and says then he will have to go alone and Eric heads downstairs for a nap.
Needless to say, Jessica isn’t thrilled with this idea and she begs Nick not to go or at least take her with him because “There’s something seriously wrong with Eric”. She tells him about the looks, him brushing up against her, and him walking in on her. At first Nick thinks Jessica is being conceited but then believes her and asks if she thinks he’d try anything. Jessica smartly says that she doesn’t want to find out. Nick reminds Jessica that he is a cop - a Sweet Valley cop - so of course he’d know if Eric were a bad guy. Jessica is unconvinced. Nick promises he’ll be back before Eric wakes up while Jessica thinks Eric will ‘wake up’ as soon as Nick is gone. She wants to lock him in at least but since the lock is on the inside they use a broom as a makeshift lock. Jessica then asks for the number of the coast guard, but Nick can’t remember it so he tells her if she gets into any trouble to just hit the re-dial button.
Time out. Now I hate to say this, I really do, but Jessica was actually acting pretty smart these last few pages. She wasn’t just ignoring the million warning signs telling her a guy is creepy and/or dangerous like she usually does. Maybe she’s actually learned something from the dozen plus attempts on her life.
Back to the book. Nick leaves and the water is getting rougher. Jessica is scared and tries to picture what Elizabeth would say if she were there with her, but is interrupted by Eric pounding on the door. She goes down and tells Eric that the door sometimes sticks but he’ll have to wait for Nick to get back so he can fix it. Eric gets pissed and starts slamming his body against the door telling her, she better hope he doesn’t get out of there because he’s going to get her.
Jess hears the wood splinter and knows Eric’s free so she runs to the radio screaming into it for Nick, but Eric comes up behind her and tells her the schooner’s radio is broken then rips apart the radio she’s trying to use. Jessica pulls out the cell phone, hits re-dial and realizes that Eric never called the Coast Guard and she doesn’t have the number. But she does have Elizabeth’s number. She manages to tell Liz, “I need your help - he’s after me! Something horrible happened . . .” before Eric knocks the phone overboard and Jessica unconscious. Poor Jess, all these blows to the head cannot be good for her.
Elizabeth is freaked out. She thinks that Nick must have hurt Jessica, though she didn’t think he was capable of violence. She remembers a splash and worries that Nick pushed her sister overboard. When she tries to call Jessica back and gets no answer she grabs her Jeep keys and heads out. Liz makes her way to the marina and asks the man to use the radio to contact her sister. The man tells her that thunderstorms are due so Liz uses that as another reason to try to contact Jessica. He relents and makes the call but no one responses. Liz starts crying and the man finds that amusing; she tries to explain to him that her sister was fighting with her boyfriend . . . blah blah blah. The man is unmoved so Liz leaves.
Meanwhile, Nick reaches the boat and sees the fire wasn’t that bad and puts it out with a single bucket of seawater. He goes down to find Katie and what he finds floating in the water nearly makes his heart explode . . . it’s Katie’s dead body. But wait, the refrigerator is standing upright? That cannot be! He heads back to the rowboat but when he gets to the deck he sees the yacht speeding in the other direction, “leaving him behind, with only a dead body as consolation.”
Jessica comes to, wondering if she’s at a frat party as there is screeching electric guitar music, before she remembers everything. Eric asks her if she had a nice nap and she remains silent so he calls her a grouch while dancing to the music. She tries to ask off-handedly about Nick and he tells her he’s still on the schooner and they are alone now. Jessica turns on the charm saying she wished she could have been awake to see the ship sink because it would have been so cool. Eric tells her it didn’t sink yet.
Jessica starts seducing Eric: pressing her body against him, telling him how strong he was when he broke down the door and smacked her unconscious, and how Nick locked him in the room because he was jealous. Right before he kisses her she pulls away to get them drinks and Eric falls for her crap thinking she’s playing hard to get.
As Jessica comes onto creepy Eric to try and save Nick’s ass, he’s busy getting annoyed with her because he thinks she tried to get the boat closer to him but is just a horrible sailor. When he decides to go look for the generator to get the radio working he stumbles across some home movies playing in the cabin. On the screen Katie, prompted by an off-screen voice (psst, it’s Eric) tells her to state her name and Nick realizes that it’s Katie, the woman who he had been trying to rescue! But he blew it and now Katie is dead and it’s all his fault. He has a bit of a meltdown hoping Jessica isn’t next, no not Jessica. Please not Jessica!!
Meanwhile Jessica promises to make Eric lemonade then goes downstairs where she procures a dart gun, but before she can use it Eric comes down to see what’s taking so long. Jessica stashes the gun but doesn’t have time to close the door. Eric notices and gets the gun out then he questions Jessica about it, but Jess blames Nick and thanks to her years of practiced lying and sociopathy he believes her, but takes the dart gun up on-deck with him.
Elizabeth is at the docks, lamenting over how screwed she is. She can’t go the police saying Nick hurt Jessica because Nick is a cop and they wouldn’t believe her. Luckily, a gorgeous stranger appears and asks Liz if there’s anything he can do to help her. After thinking that the man could be a psychopath, Elizabeth decides to board his boat and try radio-ing Jessica again. He introduces himself as Matt Birch.
Now that her plot to threaten Eric with the gun is gone, Jess has a new plan. She empties the insides of 8 sleeping pills into a glass of iced-tea, unfortunately it’s not dissolving as quickly as Jess would like, so she tells him she thinks she put too much sugar in it. Eric says he’s not thirsty so Jess makes a big deal out of trying to do something nice for him and how she went through a lot of trouble. She starts to cry and says Nick used to do the same thing so he tells her he’s nothing like Nick and polishes off the drugged tea.
Speaking of Nick, Nick decides he needs to get the boat sailing again so he feels for the holes and discovers that they weren’t caused by an explosion but where cut out with a skill saw and the holes took the shape NF, his initials. He stops water from coming in by pushing a table in front of the hole? Huh? That would never work. Then he starts pumping out the remaining water with a hand pump.
Elsewhere, Matt uses his boat’s radar screen and discovers the two boats in that area. One is stalled and he and Elizabeth fear that it might be Jessica and Nick’s boat and it could have capsized. Matt offers to go out with Elizabeth and rescue them. Elizabeth accepts and they head out into the storm.
Eric who doesn’t seem to be falling asleep tells Jessica about his dance and karate background before getting a little too hands-on for Jessica. So she runs out into the storm and braces the door with a heavy deck chair. On the other side Eric once again yells that he’s going to get her. Jessica yells that she hates him and has always hated him and Nick’s a better dancer than he is. She turns the boat around and heads back to try to save Nick. She trips over the dart gun so she picks it up and waits in front of the blocked door waiting for Eric to bust through.
Through Jess’ taunts Eric realizes that she’s found the gun. He gets her to continue berating him then sneaks out the skylight in the head. He comes up behind Jessica as she continues to shout at the door but rather than knock her out again, he pulls the keys out of the yacht and throws them overboard. Jessica is distraught.
Eric dares her to shoot him. Stepping closer and closer until finally Jessica pulls the trigger, but the gun has misfired and Eric isn’t happy. He grabs Jessica by the hair, tells her he’s going to kill her, then just as Jessica has closed her eyes and resigned herself to death she is pulled out of her thoughts by a loud “Kiaiii!” She opens her eyes to find Eric doing Tai Chi type breathing and air punches. He does a roundhouse kick directed at her head but a wave hits the boat knocking him off balance and causing him to twist his ankle. Jess seizes the opportunity to run to the dart gun, she points it at him and Eric just scoffs at her “You would never”. Rather than shoot Eric Jessica yells “Pysch!” (Seriously) and whacks him on the head with it as hard as she can, causing him to be knocked unconscious and fall overboard.
After watching Eric sink, Jessica mulls over the fact that she just killed a man and what that means for her. She rationalizes she didn’t kill him she just hit him with a gun. Then she starts imagining Eric’s lungs filling up with water and the terror he must be feeling. Then Jess starts thinking about Nick again and wondering how she can save him when the wind whips up and Jessica realizes she must sail the boat, like Nick taught her to.
Meanwhile Nick has given up pumping water, his plan is not working, in fact the strength of the storm and pressure of the rising water has locked him inside the cabin. The water has risen up to his mouth, his body is numb, and he’s starting to hallucinate. He thinks to himself “Jessica would love it here, I want her to come here.” Then three birds of varying colors appear and tell Nick that if he wants to see Jessica he has to open the door and that he should use the post under the table to help him. Nick argues with the birds that he wants to stay but they tell him if he does he’ll never see Jessica again. I can’t believe I’m reading and repeating this stuff. Nick takes the birds’ advice and uses the post to break out of the cabin.
Eric lives! He grabs onto the ladder of the yacht and menacingly clings to the side of it. I knew they wouldn’t have let Jessica actually kill a man.
Liz and Matt come across the schooner where Nick is. Liz is horrified to see that it has capsized. When Matt goes to approach it Liz tells him to turn the boat around and she can’t face it. He tells her he can’t do that and it might not even be Jessica’s boat. They approach the boat and pull the body of a man aboard; Elizabeth freaks out when she sees that it’s Nick. She starts slapping his face telling him to wake up and if he’s done anything to hurt Jessica she swears she’ll kill him.
Elsewhere on the high seas, Eric finally climbs aboard the yacht after hanging onto the side of it for hours. What does he decide to do once he’s aboard? Go back through the skylight, curl up on the bathroom floor, and take a nap.
Nick final comes to and thinks Elizabeth is Jessica. She sadly sets him straight and asks where Jess is. Nick tells her that Jessica is on the boat, and when Elizabeth starts to blame herself Nick corrects himself and says she not on that boat and explains to her what happened. Liz is mad that Nick left her sister alone with a murderer and tries to make him feel bad about it. He asks her to forgive him and she says that if they get Jessica back in one piece she’ll think about it.
Jessica sees a boat coming towards her and it’s Liz and company. They all exchange stories and Matt’s boat starts towing the yacht back. Now that Jessica’s safe Liz starts fantasizing about Matt massaging her shoulders, it’s almost like she can feel him, wait someone actually is massage her shoulders, she opens her eyes and it’s Eric. He chokes her out. Geez, have any of the Sweet Valley killers ever just attacked one twin?
Jessica hears something and goes to check on Liz and sees Eric with his arms still around Liz’s neck. She calls for Nick who sends her back downstairs then sneaks up on Eric and tries to tackle him, but Eric in his karate ninja glory thinks it’s funny, and he tosses unconscious ‘Jessica’ aside. Eric and Nick have one of those please explain your motives to the readers conversation while circling each other, it’s boring but Eric does make an astute observation about the Sweet Valley cops “Those bunch of amateurs you call the police department. They wouldn’t see me if I was right under their noses.” We also find out that it was the police that told Eric that he could find Nick at sea.
Then the actual fighting begins and karate ninja Eric beats the shit out of Nick complete with “Kiaii!” screaming. Jessica decides she can’t wait in the galley any longer and goes back up. She sees Elizabeth and Nick motionless, Eric stalking around, and . . . Matt behind the wheel of the other boat completely oblivious. I call foul, he had to have at least heard the Kiaiis.
Eric picks up the dart gun and holds it to Nick’s head. Jessica is relieved because she remembers the gun doesn’t work, until she sees him flip the safety. She then jumps out revealing herself to Eric. He is confused especially when he sees that Elizabeth is still laying limply on the other side of the deck. Jess tells him that he killed her and Elizabeth is just her dead body. She’s a ghost come to make him pay for what he did. Eric decides to test the theory and says he’ll do it by shooting her in the head.
Nick uses Jessica’s distraction to grab Eric’s ankle, throwing off his shot and causing him to drop the dart gun. Jessica rushes to it and steps on it before Eric can grab it then she kicks the gun overboard. Yes, she kicks the only weapon they have overboard. On purpose. Nick tells Jessica to check on “her sister” revealing the whole ghost thing to Eric. They fight some more, this time Nick is winning. However as Nick is straddling Eric and beating on him, he realizes that he’s enjoying it and doesn’t want to be like Eric so he stops for a second. Eric uses this second to flip Nick over so he is now on top of him. He starts choking Nick.
Elizabeth has regained consciousness and Jessica fills her in on what’s happened. Liz sees Matt and the girls yell to him but he just keeps on driving totally unaware. So Jessica tells Liz to think of something. Liz looks around spots the deck chair that Jessica used to lock Eric in the cabin earlier. They plot their plan without words communicating through their super special twin bond. Here’s the plan, Jessica turns on the charm again and makes out with Eric while Liz sneaks over and whacks him on the head with the deck chair. It works.
Liz ties Eric up while Nick stresses over the fact that Jessica kissed Eric. Nick fixes the radio and lets the police department know what happened. When they reach the docks Matt pulls the boats alongside each other ask Liz what she thinks happened by the dock where all the police are waiting. She tells him they are waiting for them, and then, only then does Matt notice Elizabeth’s blood covered clothing. Liz tries to summon the courage to ask him out as the medics treat Jessica and Nick. But she side-steps the issue sort of prods and finds out he’s leaving for Baja and won’t be back for months. Matt says it’s too bad Liz can’t come with him and she and her ego feel better. He kisses her cheek.
The police take Eric into custody and everyone lives happily ever after - until the next thriller edition. The end.
Random: the last page of the book advertises a beach vacation. I don't know about you guys but reading about people being lost at sea and almost drowning totally makes me want to go to for a swim at the beach!
This book teaches us that if it looks like someone is in trouble and could likely die, it’s best not to help, because that person totally planned the whole thing out, including their almost dying just so they can kill your boyfriend and try to bed you.
Also if you are in need of help and someone offers it, accept immediately because not only will you get to save your sister and her boyfriend but you might even find romance.
The book opens with Jessica packing for a spontaneous week-long adventure on the high seas with her boyfriend Nick. While she’s doing this she’s also talking to him on the phone letting him know that Elizabeth will drive them to the marina. This is news to Elizabeth but when Jessica ‘mouths please’ Liz just goes back to her book, both of them knowing whatever is she’ll do. When Jessica hangs up and tells Liz about her plans Elizabeth reminds Jessica that they are in the middle of the semester (mid-terms are just a week away) and she can’t just take off whenever she feels like it. Jessica says she doesn’t have a choice because Nick already booked the charter; plus Nick has been working so hard on a kidnapping case that he’s been ignoring her. This satisfies Elizabeth and off they go.
Honestly this trip is doomed from the start and not just because of the ominous book title. When the twins arrive at the police station to pick up Nick, he’s in a bad mood and mad at Jessica for bringing too many suitcases. You can tell because he’s ‘averting his eyes’, ‘interrupting tensely’, ‘scoffing’, ‘arguing’, ‘barking’?, and using an ‘emotionless tone’ before they even pull out of the parking lot. This leaves Elizabeth worried that her sister is going to be alone with Nick for an entire week, so she asks Nick if there’s a phone on the boat in case she needs to call them. Nick says no, but Jessica ignores him and tells Liz Nick will have his cell phone. But Nick doesn’t want to bring his phone because the boat will have a radio and gives it to Liz, asking her to hold onto it until they get back.
They pull into the marina and Nick yells at Jessica that she can only bring two bags so she and Liz try to consolidate them while Nick checks them in. Jess complains to Liz about what a creep Nick’s being and Elizabeth says she doesn’t want Nick to take anything out on Jessica. Jess says she’ll be fine but then goes on to ask what will happen if they fight the whole time and she’s stuck out there with him.
When you’re being such a complete jackass that even Jessica is starting to worry, it’s pretty bad. But suddenly she gets an idea and pops Nick’s cell phone into her make-up bag as an insta-fix (All Better!) and gets on the boat with her four bags. And she really does seem to think everything is fixed because when Elizabeth is still a little worried when they hug goodbye, Jessica thinks she’s jealous and “can’t stand when Elizabeth insists on being the cloud blocking out her sunshine.”
As they head out to sea Nick feels calmer, but it starts to dissipate when Jessica says she doesn’t care to know that the boat bathroom is called the head or the technicalities of sailing. When he tells she has to learn just in case something happens to him - and thinks to himself it’s his vacation too and he isn’t going to do all the work - she gives in.
After being ignored by Nick all day - even when she nuzzled that spot behind his ear -and getting blisters all over her hands while learning to sail, Jessica decides to arrange a romantic dinner. There’s not much in the cabinets and she doesn’t know how to cook “but Jessica knew better than anyone that being madly in love made anything possible”. So she puts a can of tomato soup in the microwave, throws on her royal blue kimono and brings the soup on-deck where she and Nick eat under the stars.
Nick starts to open up and tells Jessica that the trip isn’t so much a vacation but a forced leave of absence. He blew it on the kidnapping case by acting too soon, causing the kidnapper to spot him and flee with the hostage. They have a nice night but the next morning Nick gets pissed that Jessica can’t find the juice and causes him to lose his fish, so he gets her back by letting the boom smack her in the head. He may have said ‘duck’ but he was standing right near her and didn’t even try to move her out of the way, those things kill people - not cool Nick.
Elizabeth is writing a paper so she ignores the phone when it rings, but when the answering machine picks up she hears Jess’ voice and answers it. Jessica is sobbing saying her head hurts but then she hears Nick so she has to hang up. He takes Jessica back on deck to look at her head and the pair spot a man in a rowboat next to a schooner that’s on fire. The man waves them over saying he needs help and as Jess and Nick debate what to do, the dingy capsizes. Jessica wastes no time diving into the water, pulling the man from the sea and then performing CPR.
When the man comes to, one of his first thoughts is of course that “[his blonde rescuer’s] eyes were big and blue-green, the exact color of the water she’d just saved him from”. He tells them his name is Eric and has some impure thoughts about Jessica and how he wants to touch her hair. He tells them that his girlfriend Katie was trapped under the refrigerator by the boiler explosion and he couldn’t move it so he left her. Seriously? Are refrigerator deaths really that common? Even though I know he’s lying because he keeps perving out over Jessica and talks Nick out of going back to try to save Katie, very unlike a grieving boyfriend, it’s an odd lie.
Nick asks Jessica for his cell phone so he can call the coast guard before remembering that he gave it to Elizabeth. Jessica tells him that she does have it, and when Nick is only momentarily irritated Jess thinks how lucky she is to have him. Eric comes down too and Nick decides he should be the one to call the coast guard because he knows more of the details. Eric calls some pre-recorded weather forecast number instead, then tells Jessica and Nick that the coast guard is taking care of a more serious situation and they’ll be a while.
Eric starts very blatantly flirting with Jessica and she tries not to notice the “perfect ripple of abdominal muscles just above the waist band of Eric’s wet cutoffs”. But he really is creeping her out, he even walks in on her when she goes to change out of her swimsuit after the looks he’s giving her start to make her feel self-conscious. And he winks at her.
Nick tells Eric that he wants to go back to the boat - and he wants Eric to go with him. But that would ruin Eric’s plan for Detective Fox (dun dun dun, he knows who Nick is) so he pleads with Nick not to make him go back there. Nick relents and says then he will have to go alone and Eric heads downstairs for a nap.
Needless to say, Jessica isn’t thrilled with this idea and she begs Nick not to go or at least take her with him because “There’s something seriously wrong with Eric”. She tells him about the looks, him brushing up against her, and him walking in on her. At first Nick thinks Jessica is being conceited but then believes her and asks if she thinks he’d try anything. Jessica smartly says that she doesn’t want to find out. Nick reminds Jessica that he is a cop - a Sweet Valley cop - so of course he’d know if Eric were a bad guy. Jessica is unconvinced. Nick promises he’ll be back before Eric wakes up while Jessica thinks Eric will ‘wake up’ as soon as Nick is gone. She wants to lock him in at least but since the lock is on the inside they use a broom as a makeshift lock. Jessica then asks for the number of the coast guard, but Nick can’t remember it so he tells her if she gets into any trouble to just hit the re-dial button.
Time out. Now I hate to say this, I really do, but Jessica was actually acting pretty smart these last few pages. She wasn’t just ignoring the million warning signs telling her a guy is creepy and/or dangerous like she usually does. Maybe she’s actually learned something from the dozen plus attempts on her life.
Back to the book. Nick leaves and the water is getting rougher. Jessica is scared and tries to picture what Elizabeth would say if she were there with her, but is interrupted by Eric pounding on the door. She goes down and tells Eric that the door sometimes sticks but he’ll have to wait for Nick to get back so he can fix it. Eric gets pissed and starts slamming his body against the door telling her, she better hope he doesn’t get out of there because he’s going to get her.
Jess hears the wood splinter and knows Eric’s free so she runs to the radio screaming into it for Nick, but Eric comes up behind her and tells her the schooner’s radio is broken then rips apart the radio she’s trying to use. Jessica pulls out the cell phone, hits re-dial and realizes that Eric never called the Coast Guard and she doesn’t have the number. But she does have Elizabeth’s number. She manages to tell Liz, “I need your help - he’s after me! Something horrible happened . . .” before Eric knocks the phone overboard and Jessica unconscious. Poor Jess, all these blows to the head cannot be good for her.
Elizabeth is freaked out. She thinks that Nick must have hurt Jessica, though she didn’t think he was capable of violence. She remembers a splash and worries that Nick pushed her sister overboard. When she tries to call Jessica back and gets no answer she grabs her Jeep keys and heads out. Liz makes her way to the marina and asks the man to use the radio to contact her sister. The man tells her that thunderstorms are due so Liz uses that as another reason to try to contact Jessica. He relents and makes the call but no one responses. Liz starts crying and the man finds that amusing; she tries to explain to him that her sister was fighting with her boyfriend . . . blah blah blah. The man is unmoved so Liz leaves.
Meanwhile, Nick reaches the boat and sees the fire wasn’t that bad and puts it out with a single bucket of seawater. He goes down to find Katie and what he finds floating in the water nearly makes his heart explode . . . it’s Katie’s dead body. But wait, the refrigerator is standing upright? That cannot be! He heads back to the rowboat but when he gets to the deck he sees the yacht speeding in the other direction, “leaving him behind, with only a dead body as consolation.”
Jessica comes to, wondering if she’s at a frat party as there is screeching electric guitar music, before she remembers everything. Eric asks her if she had a nice nap and she remains silent so he calls her a grouch while dancing to the music. She tries to ask off-handedly about Nick and he tells her he’s still on the schooner and they are alone now. Jessica turns on the charm saying she wished she could have been awake to see the ship sink because it would have been so cool. Eric tells her it didn’t sink yet.
Jessica starts seducing Eric: pressing her body against him, telling him how strong he was when he broke down the door and smacked her unconscious, and how Nick locked him in the room because he was jealous. Right before he kisses her she pulls away to get them drinks and Eric falls for her crap thinking she’s playing hard to get.
As Jessica comes onto creepy Eric to try and save Nick’s ass, he’s busy getting annoyed with her because he thinks she tried to get the boat closer to him but is just a horrible sailor. When he decides to go look for the generator to get the radio working he stumbles across some home movies playing in the cabin. On the screen Katie, prompted by an off-screen voice (psst, it’s Eric) tells her to state her name and Nick realizes that it’s Katie, the woman who he had been trying to rescue! But he blew it and now Katie is dead and it’s all his fault. He has a bit of a meltdown hoping Jessica isn’t next, no not Jessica. Please not Jessica!!
Meanwhile Jessica promises to make Eric lemonade then goes downstairs where she procures a dart gun, but before she can use it Eric comes down to see what’s taking so long. Jessica stashes the gun but doesn’t have time to close the door. Eric notices and gets the gun out then he questions Jessica about it, but Jess blames Nick and thanks to her years of practiced lying and sociopathy he believes her, but takes the dart gun up on-deck with him.
Elizabeth is at the docks, lamenting over how screwed she is. She can’t go the police saying Nick hurt Jessica because Nick is a cop and they wouldn’t believe her. Luckily, a gorgeous stranger appears and asks Liz if there’s anything he can do to help her. After thinking that the man could be a psychopath, Elizabeth decides to board his boat and try radio-ing Jessica again. He introduces himself as Matt Birch.
Now that her plot to threaten Eric with the gun is gone, Jess has a new plan. She empties the insides of 8 sleeping pills into a glass of iced-tea, unfortunately it’s not dissolving as quickly as Jess would like, so she tells him she thinks she put too much sugar in it. Eric says he’s not thirsty so Jess makes a big deal out of trying to do something nice for him and how she went through a lot of trouble. She starts to cry and says Nick used to do the same thing so he tells her he’s nothing like Nick and polishes off the drugged tea.
Speaking of Nick, Nick decides he needs to get the boat sailing again so he feels for the holes and discovers that they weren’t caused by an explosion but where cut out with a skill saw and the holes took the shape NF, his initials. He stops water from coming in by pushing a table in front of the hole? Huh? That would never work. Then he starts pumping out the remaining water with a hand pump.
Elsewhere, Matt uses his boat’s radar screen and discovers the two boats in that area. One is stalled and he and Elizabeth fear that it might be Jessica and Nick’s boat and it could have capsized. Matt offers to go out with Elizabeth and rescue them. Elizabeth accepts and they head out into the storm.
Eric who doesn’t seem to be falling asleep tells Jessica about his dance and karate background before getting a little too hands-on for Jessica. So she runs out into the storm and braces the door with a heavy deck chair. On the other side Eric once again yells that he’s going to get her. Jessica yells that she hates him and has always hated him and Nick’s a better dancer than he is. She turns the boat around and heads back to try to save Nick. She trips over the dart gun so she picks it up and waits in front of the blocked door waiting for Eric to bust through.
Through Jess’ taunts Eric realizes that she’s found the gun. He gets her to continue berating him then sneaks out the skylight in the head. He comes up behind Jessica as she continues to shout at the door but rather than knock her out again, he pulls the keys out of the yacht and throws them overboard. Jessica is distraught.
Eric dares her to shoot him. Stepping closer and closer until finally Jessica pulls the trigger, but the gun has misfired and Eric isn’t happy. He grabs Jessica by the hair, tells her he’s going to kill her, then just as Jessica has closed her eyes and resigned herself to death she is pulled out of her thoughts by a loud “Kiaiii!” She opens her eyes to find Eric doing Tai Chi type breathing and air punches. He does a roundhouse kick directed at her head but a wave hits the boat knocking him off balance and causing him to twist his ankle. Jess seizes the opportunity to run to the dart gun, she points it at him and Eric just scoffs at her “You would never”. Rather than shoot Eric Jessica yells “Pysch!” (Seriously) and whacks him on the head with it as hard as she can, causing him to be knocked unconscious and fall overboard.
After watching Eric sink, Jessica mulls over the fact that she just killed a man and what that means for her. She rationalizes she didn’t kill him she just hit him with a gun. Then she starts imagining Eric’s lungs filling up with water and the terror he must be feeling. Then Jess starts thinking about Nick again and wondering how she can save him when the wind whips up and Jessica realizes she must sail the boat, like Nick taught her to.
Meanwhile Nick has given up pumping water, his plan is not working, in fact the strength of the storm and pressure of the rising water has locked him inside the cabin. The water has risen up to his mouth, his body is numb, and he’s starting to hallucinate. He thinks to himself “Jessica would love it here, I want her to come here.” Then three birds of varying colors appear and tell Nick that if he wants to see Jessica he has to open the door and that he should use the post under the table to help him. Nick argues with the birds that he wants to stay but they tell him if he does he’ll never see Jessica again. I can’t believe I’m reading and repeating this stuff. Nick takes the birds’ advice and uses the post to break out of the cabin.
Eric lives! He grabs onto the ladder of the yacht and menacingly clings to the side of it. I knew they wouldn’t have let Jessica actually kill a man.
Liz and Matt come across the schooner where Nick is. Liz is horrified to see that it has capsized. When Matt goes to approach it Liz tells him to turn the boat around and she can’t face it. He tells her he can’t do that and it might not even be Jessica’s boat. They approach the boat and pull the body of a man aboard; Elizabeth freaks out when she sees that it’s Nick. She starts slapping his face telling him to wake up and if he’s done anything to hurt Jessica she swears she’ll kill him.
Elsewhere on the high seas, Eric finally climbs aboard the yacht after hanging onto the side of it for hours. What does he decide to do once he’s aboard? Go back through the skylight, curl up on the bathroom floor, and take a nap.
Nick final comes to and thinks Elizabeth is Jessica. She sadly sets him straight and asks where Jess is. Nick tells her that Jessica is on the boat, and when Elizabeth starts to blame herself Nick corrects himself and says she not on that boat and explains to her what happened. Liz is mad that Nick left her sister alone with a murderer and tries to make him feel bad about it. He asks her to forgive him and she says that if they get Jessica back in one piece she’ll think about it.
Jessica sees a boat coming towards her and it’s Liz and company. They all exchange stories and Matt’s boat starts towing the yacht back. Now that Jessica’s safe Liz starts fantasizing about Matt massaging her shoulders, it’s almost like she can feel him, wait someone actually is massage her shoulders, she opens her eyes and it’s Eric. He chokes her out. Geez, have any of the Sweet Valley killers ever just attacked one twin?
Jessica hears something and goes to check on Liz and sees Eric with his arms still around Liz’s neck. She calls for Nick who sends her back downstairs then sneaks up on Eric and tries to tackle him, but Eric in his karate ninja glory thinks it’s funny, and he tosses unconscious ‘Jessica’ aside. Eric and Nick have one of those please explain your motives to the readers conversation while circling each other, it’s boring but Eric does make an astute observation about the Sweet Valley cops “Those bunch of amateurs you call the police department. They wouldn’t see me if I was right under their noses.” We also find out that it was the police that told Eric that he could find Nick at sea.
Then the actual fighting begins and karate ninja Eric beats the shit out of Nick complete with “Kiaii!” screaming. Jessica decides she can’t wait in the galley any longer and goes back up. She sees Elizabeth and Nick motionless, Eric stalking around, and . . . Matt behind the wheel of the other boat completely oblivious. I call foul, he had to have at least heard the Kiaiis.
Eric picks up the dart gun and holds it to Nick’s head. Jessica is relieved because she remembers the gun doesn’t work, until she sees him flip the safety. She then jumps out revealing herself to Eric. He is confused especially when he sees that Elizabeth is still laying limply on the other side of the deck. Jess tells him that he killed her and Elizabeth is just her dead body. She’s a ghost come to make him pay for what he did. Eric decides to test the theory and says he’ll do it by shooting her in the head.
Nick uses Jessica’s distraction to grab Eric’s ankle, throwing off his shot and causing him to drop the dart gun. Jessica rushes to it and steps on it before Eric can grab it then she kicks the gun overboard. Yes, she kicks the only weapon they have overboard. On purpose. Nick tells Jessica to check on “her sister” revealing the whole ghost thing to Eric. They fight some more, this time Nick is winning. However as Nick is straddling Eric and beating on him, he realizes that he’s enjoying it and doesn’t want to be like Eric so he stops for a second. Eric uses this second to flip Nick over so he is now on top of him. He starts choking Nick.
Elizabeth has regained consciousness and Jessica fills her in on what’s happened. Liz sees Matt and the girls yell to him but he just keeps on driving totally unaware. So Jessica tells Liz to think of something. Liz looks around spots the deck chair that Jessica used to lock Eric in the cabin earlier. They plot their plan without words communicating through their super special twin bond. Here’s the plan, Jessica turns on the charm again and makes out with Eric while Liz sneaks over and whacks him on the head with the deck chair. It works.
Liz ties Eric up while Nick stresses over the fact that Jessica kissed Eric. Nick fixes the radio and lets the police department know what happened. When they reach the docks Matt pulls the boats alongside each other ask Liz what she thinks happened by the dock where all the police are waiting. She tells him they are waiting for them, and then, only then does Matt notice Elizabeth’s blood covered clothing. Liz tries to summon the courage to ask him out as the medics treat Jessica and Nick. But she side-steps the issue sort of prods and finds out he’s leaving for Baja and won’t be back for months. Matt says it’s too bad Liz can’t come with him and she and her ego feel better. He kisses her cheek.
The police take Eric into custody and everyone lives happily ever after - until the next thriller edition. The end.
Random: the last page of the book advertises a beach vacation. I don't know about you guys but reading about people being lost at sea and almost drowning totally makes me want to go to for a swim at the beach!