Starring Winston Egbert!
This is my first recap, so bear with me. It was also hard to snark because there were no British werewolf boyfriends, dead boyfriends, or cyber-stalking. A British werewolf boyfriend would have made this book a lot cooler.
The Cover: The cover shows Jess, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Cindy Brady, whispering sweet nothings (or his lines, whatever) to Winston Egbert, who actually looks like a young Steven Wakefield. Maybe Jess hates Winston later in SVT and SVH because he reminds her of her slightly creepy brother who always thinks unnatural thoughts about her. ZOMG!!! I figured it out! Or not…
I hardly read SVK when I was younger. I was a big SVT and later SVH fan. I distinctly remember this one though. Rereading it now makes me like the relationship Jess and Liz have. They are quite cute together here. And Liz is not as meddlesome as she is in SVT, SVH, SVU, every other damn series.
Anyways, the book starts out with Liz and Jess holding hands and watching Lila and Ellen turn the jump rope, so they can jump in. I never could do this as a kid. I would always get whipped in the face (Ha!) by the rope . Well, at least the one time I attempted it, I was hit. It hurt, so my dreams of making it big as a competitive jump roper died that day.
Jess and Liz are much better than me (must be the blonde hair and eyes the color of the Pacific Ocean) because they jump in and don’t get injured. Cue the standard: ThetwinsaresomuchalikeyetsodifferentblondehairBLUEGREENEYES! No mention of the Pacific Ocean colored eyes. Living in the Midwest I had no clue the Pacific Ocean was blue-green. I live by Lake Michigan which is always kind of Todd eyed color with a hint of blue. I did go to California once but pictures from that awesome vacation (A wave knocked my brother down! And he dropped his sunglasses over the bridge!) tell me that the Pacific Ocean was just plain old blue. Take that, Wakefields!
Anyways, the girls jump rope. Lila gets bored. Winston walks by and pretends to be a girl by changing his name to Winnie and moving into an all-female dorm speaking in a high pitched voice. I teach 4th-6th grade boys. Even at the age of 11 most of my boys have high pitched voices. But I imagine Winnie is speaking like Kerri Strug. Then he makes a monkey face and Todd punches him in the arm. Yay, Todd!punch! I didn’t know Todd was so violent at the tender age of 7!
This book takes place around Thanksgiving (Well, obviously. They all star in a Thanksgiving play!). The children (Jess,Liz, Lila, Ellen, Amy, Eva, Todd, and Winston ) start talking about Thanksgiving. Eva doesn’t know what it is. Lucky for her Liz, Amy, and Winston are there to explain it to her. Eva is from Jamaica, which is why she doesn’t know what Thanksgiving is. Know-it-all Lila (their words, not mine) informs Eva that there will be a Thanksgiving play because it’s tradition at Sweet Valley Elementary. That strikes me as weird. Why is Thanksgiving a good time for a play? Why not Christmas? Or National Talk Like a Pirate Day? Blah, blah, blah. Jess wants a starring role. So does Winnie.
Flash to school. Mrs. Otis (the teacher formerly known as Ms. Becker) shows the kids slides of the Pilgrims’ village. Slides are so old school. *checks publication date* Well this was made in 1990, so slides were pretty standard in those days. My senior year old high school (this was 2002) my criminology teacher loved filmstrips and I was in charge of flicking the button to change the slide. It was pretty awesome because he gave me a ton of participation points just for doing that.
Lila sees the one room cabins and says “I could never live there. I’d have to have my own room.” Ha! Love her! Charlie Cashman calls her spoiled. Well, Charlie, you wind up being a racist douchebag who should have joined Peter Wilbourne’s secret racist society if you had made it to SVU….which you didn’t! So there! I can’t really fault Lila (as if I would. She’s awesome.) for saying she needs her own room. I had to share a room with my older brother for a while when we were really young and I hated it because he had to have about 6 lights on to sleep. Even at the tender age of 4, I thought it was ridiculous.
Mrs. Otis and the students talk about Pilgrim life. Everyone raises their hand to ask questions but Saint Lizzie. Even Jess!Liz just speaks without raising her hand! But does Lizzie ever get called out on it? No. Because she’s a saint. Jess raises her hand to ask if there will be an Indian princess in the play. No dice. She then asks if there will be a beautiful Indian girl in the play. Mrs. Otis says there are lots of Indians in the play. Isn’t Native American the proper term? Tryouts are the next day. Why have a 7 year old try out? My husband *starred*in his second grade play. He was Dopey from Snow White and had one line. He said his teacher would just call out a part and whoever raised their hand got the part. I always wondered what would happen if 2 or more girls raised their hand to play Snow White. I imagine the teacher made them fight to the death.
The day of try outs come. Winnie brags that he’s going to be a star. But Jess wants t o be the star! Hmmm! (Also why is Winnie being kind of a douche in this book? Maybe young Bruce Patman who looks just like Winnie tied him up and locked him in the trunk of mini-1bruce1 for this book. Winnie’s acting very Bruce-like. Though would Bruce star in a play where there might be a painted picture of a turkey on set or Karen Brewer starring as the turkey? Ooops, wrong book). Anyways, Liz wants to work on the scenery. Jess tries out by basically twirling around in a circle. She also recites a poem. No word on what poem it is. : (
Lila also recites a poem (The Night Before Christmas), Eva sings, Stupid Amy does handstands and cartwheels, Winston does a “funny” monologue which isn’t funny at all. This basically reminds me of the clips of America’s Got Talent I see on The Soup. Oh yeah, Winston makes fun of the Pilgrims for being unlucky. Should have been a Wakefield, Pilgrims!
The next day Mrs. Otis announces the results. Everyone who tried out got a part. Jess is an Indian. She’ll be the leader in the Indian dance and welcome everyone to the play. Winnie is the Indian chief. Jess complains. Amy is the turkey…haha. Winnie is excited he gets to wear a feather headdress. He brags how he saved the Pilgrims. Todd wants to see Winnie do a rain dance. Win (of course) obliges. Jess pouts in the back of the class room. Winnie wants Liz’s help to learn his lines. I’m basing all my knowledge of second grade plays on my husband’s experience playing Dopey. All the kids with more than 5 lines (Snow White, the evil queen, the mirror, the narrator) all got to carry t heir script along with them, because do you really think a 7 year old can memorize 20+ lines and stage directions? I’m 26 and I couldn’t do that. Plus, I’m extremely lazy.
Oh yeah. Jess is mad that Liz is helping Winston. At t he first rehearsal Jess asks if she can dance the Indian dance solo. She can’t but I guess Winston is doing a solo dance. Omg…I hope someone videotapes the play and shows it to Winston 10 years later. I love Winston, just not in this book. Jess goes to complain to Liz. Winston tells her she should be with the other Indians learning the dance. Jess calls him Mr. Show-off and King of the Second Grade. She vows to never listen to him. Even the 3rd graders think Winston is being bossy. Meanwhile, all kinds of chaos is ensuing. The boys painting the scenery start painting the Pilgrim cabins yellow, not gray. Stagehands are bumping into things. Lights aren’t working. Jess is slipping magical vodka into Liz’ juice box. Lila thinks the play is going to be awful.
The next day Mrs. Otis brought in real Pilgrim food for the kids to try. Apparently in 1990 and in Sweet Valley, no kid has food allergies. If that were the case, they would be chased out of town by an angry mom holding pitchforks and torches! Mrs. Otis brings in parched corn, salted fish, wild rice, squash, and onions. Lila is grossed out by onions. Also parched corn is similar to trail mix. Hmmm…the more you know!
Mrs. Otis tells all the kids they have to eat a little bit of everything. Ummm…I don’t think that would work on my students. Especially the fish. I like seafood but I know I’m in the minority. Winston brags that the food has to be good, because one of his lines in the play says so. Charlie makes fun of Winston. Mrs. Otis actually does something about it! Kind of. She just says “Now, now. That’s enough of that.” She should just threaten to paddle them like Jasper did in the episode of the Simpsons when they teachers held a strike.
Handy Mrs. Wakefield makes Jess’ dress. Sadly it is not made out of Spanish tiles : ( She basically makes a sack.
But she offers to put on fringe! Jess is excited she gets to wear a headband with a feather. The girls go to rehearsal and Jess complains that Winston is bossy. Jess stops being the meek little kitten she is in this book and becomes the raging bitch we know and love. Well, she gets as bitchy as a 7 year old can get. She mocks Winston, pushes her ears out to looks like him, and makes everyone (minus Liz and Winston) laugh. Liz tells her she was mean and makes Jess promise to never make fun of him again. We know how Jess is with keeping promises.
The day of the big play arrives. All of the Wakefields, including Ned’s parents, will be there. The children practice for a bit. Suddenly, it’s almost time for the curtains to open! ZOMG! Where’s Winston? Oh, there he is. He apparently looks like a real Indian chief. That is, if a real Indian chief were a small white boy. The curtains open. Jess cutely introduces the play and does a curtsy. Then she and the other girls dance with bells on their feet. Winston gets on stage after the girls dance to say his first line but ruh roh! He just stands there. He has stage fright!
Jess wants to laugh but she feels sad. Luckily, Jess is there to save the day. She ad libs and helps Winston out with his lines. Eventually Winston recovers and no longer needs Jess’ help. Yay! Jess saved the day! The play is over and everyone claps. The kids bow. Mrs. Otis tells the Wakefields that Jess saved the play. Oh and there’s a random picture of the kids bowing and people are throwing ears of corn and stalks of wheat at them. Hee!
The next day Liz waked up wondering what she should wear to school the next day. My mom always chose my clothes for me in 2nd grade. Whatever. Anyways, Liz remembers there is no school! LOL! It’s Thanksgiving! Silly Liz! She wakes Jess who is none too pleased. Then the girls get dressed and help prepare the Thanksgiving meal. Jess is glad there’s no salted fish. Everyone goes around saying what they are grateful for. Grandma and Grandpa are grateful for spending Thanksgiving with the people they love (apparently there is no love for cousin Robin who is sometimes a Wakefield and sometimes not). Alice is grateful for her kids (but not Ned). Steven is grateful for getting into the junior basketball league. Ned is grateful they are all healthy and happy. Liz and Jess are grateful for twins! As the family is eating, the phone rings. Apparently there next door neighbor just had a baby. No, it’s not Annie Whitman. Though 7 year old Annie having a baby would make for an interesting story. Their next door neighbor is Mrs. DeVito and she had a baby girl. Hmmm, I like my neighbors and all but I doubt I would call them on a major holiday to tell them I birthed a baby. It’s also the lead in to the next book, Jessica the Babysitter.
P.S. I'm very Ellen-like when it comes to computers. I tried an LJ-cut, so if it doesn't work, I'm sorry!