SVH:Senior Year #8: Maria Who?
Bah, if Bruce was here he'd just push your parents into a pool Maria. And it would be AWESOME.
A Plot: Maria's having issues y'all. First of all she caught Connor (her emo ex) and Elizabeth (her BFF) making out. First of all she should be thankful. Connor's a loser. Hes like the SVH equivelent of Jared Leto. He just needs to bitch out a member of the fellowship.Also they dated for a couple of weeks. My God, Maria. Every freaking book describes you as a supermodel. Dont go all crazy over CONNOR. Anyway, Maria's offered the lead in the school play "Courting Priscilla" (which doesnt exist in real life. Yes I googled it) out of nowhere cause the original lead got appendicitis. No, Maria didnt even audition, her ability is clear to all according to Ms.Delaney (rolls eyes). Anyway she heads down to the library to read the play, and loves it. She asks Ken (who shes been tutoring and bonding with) to come on down and meet her, he convinces her to do it, and they have sexual tension. As you do.
Everyone agrees that Maria is doing an awesome job with the play (which sounds like an episode of Dynasty, what with the making out and slapping and business deals, and gowns, and random British people. Seriously, I would have killed to have performed it over fricking Annie (Lily Regent in the house, y'all!)). Her parents are asses though. They congratulate and are all "Good for you! You may not have gotten the academic skill like your sister Nina, but you sure can act! Not everyone can go to Brown!" which is stupid, cause Maria gets straight A's and is probably going to Yale which American tv has taught me own Brown in the battle of the Ivies. Also this is apparently a pattern. They ditch Maria for Nina a lot (starting from childhood). Which, way to set up a whatever happened to Baby Jane situation complete with former child star, Slaters. Good on ya. So to overcompesate Maria pulls a Faye Dunaway. Shes a know it all beeyatch, whose like I'm the star, deal with bitches. And she starts like demanding more dressing room space and shit, and pisses off costars Tia and Jessica. (Although she does manage to make up with Liz.). Then the shit really hits the fan. Nina won a scholarship and her parents are ditching her to fly out. Cold. So Maria has a fit and loses it and takes off. And she takes it out on Jess, Tia, and Ken. But Ken defends her. Cause he has knowledge. Also hes already pussy whipped. But y'all know how it ends. Maria apologizes, they forgive. And Ken brings her flowers, AND her dad, cause he convinced him that Maria needed him and so just her mom went to Nina's thing. I'm ashamed to say I actually awwed. What? With the exception of a few books Ken is kinda awesome.
B plot: Jessica keeps getting gifts from her secret admirer. First she thinks its boyfriend Jeremy, but when she mentions that she got a new diary hes all "You write in a diary? Cool." And then she thinks its hottie costar Charlie Rucker, but when she questions him he thinks shes a crazy stalker. All "you know...I'm just pretending to kiss you, right?" and shooting her pitying looks. Hee. You go, Charlie Rucker. Finally with Tia and Elizabeth with her she meets him and its Will. Ruh roh. I'd mention more but this s/ls been pretty much covered.
C plot: Angel's leaving for College! Tia's sad! He needs money! So he gets a job at the Riot. And Tia acts like his mom about it. Shes all "But what about the garage? And ME!" Which, get over it sweetie. Anyway shes shows up at his work and gets pissed when he cant fawn over her because...hes got to work. Hence the word "Work". She gets more anxious, when she finds out hes gonna need more hours there because his dad cut back his hours at work. She again makes it all about her. Tia is kind of horrible. She also starts talking about going all out on their anniversary, to her credit she stops but he still all emasculated and shit. But then he goes to the track with the boys and wins a bunch of money. This cant be incredibly obvious foreshadowing could it?
D- Plot: Ken hangs out with Andy and they bond over both being awesome in a sea of not awesome. They help each other with pre-calc, mock the girls together and then Andy invites him to the track. Unfortunatley Ken stutters like a 12-year-old girl and is all "...like a party." and hes all no, dude, just hanging at the track with me, and Connor, and Angel. And Kens all cool (mostly because hes heard Angel is nice, and he wants to meet Connor to see what the hype is about.) Basically, Connor arranged it and invited Andy and Angel, and then Angel who is football buddies with Will, decided to invite him. Will is like a jackass. Hes all antagonizing Ken and being competitive and Ken's like "Bitch looks like the tool version of me what with the chinos and floppy hair." But Ken calms down and explain betting to them. Their all impressed and Kens like "Yeah, this is my dads idea of family time" and Connor gets emo because apparently he used to do this with HIS dad and does cherish it. Ken's like "Oh damn." But he awesomely doesnt get the fuss about Connor. And he and Maria continue to get closer and he seems to be starting to be ready to kind of move on.
E-Plot: Connor/Elizabeth emoness. See Maria's pissed cause Liz frenched her ex, and Connor's peeved cause she inadvertandly found out her moms like Kiefer Sutherland, but not fun and hot. Which, I dont like Lizzie, but you cant really blame her for. Get therapy, Pete Wentz jr. Also at one point Maria spots him at the play and is all "He has duh face. Why'd I think he was hot?" which is great. Anyway she makes up with Maria but spends the rest of the book brooding over Connor. Whatever, Liz. we all go through a dumbass musician phase. I however picked Dave Grohl as my obsession. You picked Connor .
Sigh. Not horrible, but not overly dramatic either. Also, I still think the Slaters could beat out the Wakefields for worst parents what with the former stage mothering and favoring of one child. Also "I AM FABULOUS!" Diva Maria is kinda great.
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