Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: No Place to Hide
Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: No Place to Hide
Elizabeth and Jessica are still interns at the Sweet Valley News. That means more crime! Yay!
I don’t know why, but Liz’s barrettes look especially dumb on this cover.
The book starts at the newspaper cafeteria, where the twins are getting lunch. The campaign is on for mayor of Sweet Valley, and the two front runners are Miles Robinson, who is honest and good and has been in local politics for years, and Russell Kincaid, who’s a dark, handsome older man, ahead in the polls, and probably crooked. Jess likes him because he’s hot, but Liz and ace reporter Seth Miller don’t because there are rumors about bribery and shady business dealings. Seth tells Liz that if people give Kincaid enough rope, he’ll hang himself.
Adam, Steve’s friend, is still living with the Wakefields. He has fun playing tennis with Steve, and doesn’t seem at all like a guy who was recently framed for his fiancée’s brutal murder.
The paper is having a picnic in Ronoma County, which Jess is worried will be boring. Nicholas Morrow calls Liz, and she invites him to the picnic. Nick spills all his problems to Liz: since Heroically Deaf Regina died, he’s been despondent. Since he wasn’t in school when they moved to town, he’d made all his friends through her, so now seeing them reminds him of her, making him feel even more isolated. He’s depressed and his parents are sending him to a doctor for it and bugging him to get out of the house. He doesn’t want to come to the picnic, but pushy Liz says, “Regina wouldn’t have wanted you to spend all your time by yourself.” Nick finally gives in. Jess is sure she won’t enjoy herself with downer Nick around, but Liz insists, so Jess gives in.
Nick picks the twins up and looks like crap. Even Liz is rethinking inviting him, but she can’t back out now. On the way to the picnic, Nick overshares about his nightmares about Regina: he dreams he can hear her crying for him. Jess is like, “Ew.” Hee. She’s so sympathetic. Nick is also a downer at the picnic, and finally decides to go for a walk around the lake. Liz goes with him, since he’s her guest, even though she’d rather stay. He’s glad for the company. They head up toward some big houses on the ocean, because Nick wants to see the view from the cliffs. He walks right past someone’s gate and rose garden, not even caring that he’s trespassing, even though Liz protests. Then, a beautiful girl with an old-fashioned long dress and a little dog named Rory comes out of the woods. Nick and Liz are embarrassed to be tramping across her lawn, but she’s glad to meet new people.
The girl’s story is weird: her name is Barbara. She was born and raised in Switzerland. This house was her grandmother’s, who drowned on the cliffs shortly after Barbara’s mom was born. Barbara was invited to California by her grandfather’s cousin, whom she calls Uncle John. She came to learn more about her grandmother’s life. John is very strict with her, and insists she always come when she’s called. Barbara also lives with Josine, the housekeeper, who’s worked there since Barbara’s grandma was alive. Josine is senile and confuses Barbara with her grandma a lot. Also, Josine is scared of the cliffs, since that’s where Barbara’s grandma died, so Barbara is scared of them too. Uncle John makes Barbara walk Rory the dog along the cliffs sometimes, though, telling her she has to get over her fear. Liz can tell Nick really likes Barbara, since he didn’t start the conversation the way he usually does: “Hi, my name is Nicholas Morrow and my sister is dead.” Awesome. Uncle John calls Barbara inside, and she runs to him. Nick is mad he didn’t get her phone number.
Jess thinks Liz and Nick had all the fun, meeting a mystery girl while she was stuck at the picnic listening to people debate the mayoral race. Nick thinks it’s weird that Barbara ran inside when Uncle John called her, and is like, “I’d like to know what kind of hold they have on her.” Jess and Liz think he’s reading too much into it, and encourage him to go back tomorrow to get Barbara’s phone number.
Nick does, but Uncle John says Barbara isn’t allowed to date and slams the door in Nick’s face. Nick drives away in despair, but he hears a dog barking in the woods, gets out of his car to follow the sound, and finds Barbara laying on a blanket reading a book, her dog tied up nearby. She’s wearing another old-fashioned dress. She’s horrified when she finds out Nick went to her house, but won’t explain why. All she’ll say is that it’s a bad thing that Nick talked to Uncle John. Nick offers to toss pebbles at her window when he comes by, to let her know he’s there, and they make plans to meet the next night in the woods. Barbara is obviously involved in something pretty weird, but says it’ll be bearable now that she has Nick in her life. Nick’s in love.
The newspaper editor gives the twins special assignments: Jess has to help a reporter research an art exhibition of work by a guy named Paul Lazarow, who was an artist in Ronoma County, and Liz has to help Seth research the mayoral candidates. Jess thinks art sounds romantic, and Liz is happy too because now she’ll be able to find out if Kincaid is really a criminal.
They stop at Nick’s to find out how his night with Barbara went, and meet him on his way out to see her again. He asks them along because he wants their opinion on Barbara’s weird situation. Jess is all, “You want us to crash your date?” and when he explains, she actually goes inside to call for her parents’ permission. We’re continuing the bizarre tradition of parental responsibility, I see!
When the kids get to Barbara’s house, they see a blue Jaguar parked in the driveway and are curious. Barb meets them in the woods, and seems really freaked out about Uncle John and his visitor. Nick offers to take her to Sweet Valley if she’s scared, but she says no: if she left John would hurt old Josine, the housekeeper. Also, she can’t call her parents because they’re doing research on a Greek island for the summer. It’s true, there are no phones in Greece.
John comes out of the house and starts heading for them. Barb tells them to run and not stop until they reach the road, and she’ll see Nick tomorrow night. The kids run a little ways, but then stop and peek around a tree to spy on Barb. John twists Barb’s arm and hurts her, but she insists that she wasn’t out to meet anyone, just to walk the dog. He’s all, “You’re not allowed to walk the dog unless I say you can! And if you meet anyone out here, like that boy from the other day, you know what will happen.” Barb points out that John’s visitor is leaving and he drags her back to the house. The twins have to hold Nick back from knocking John down.
The twins work on their newspaper articles. Paul Lazarow, Jess’s artist, was pretty famous. He studied in Paris and started a well-known artists’ colony in Ronoma. Liz isn’t finding anything about Kincaid, so she talks to Seth for advice. Seth has learned a few things: first, that Kincaid was in business with his brother but dissolved the partnership about six months ago. Second, that Kincaid’s high school yearbook (class of 1945 represent!) said his ambition was to be a painter. I’ve never read this book before and I already see where it’s going.
Nick goes back to see Barbara. He’s a little late because of traffic, and when he finally arrives she’s frantic, thinking that John had hurt him. Barbara claims that Nick and the twins are in danger because Uncle John thinks they’re trying to take Barb away from the house. She tells Nick her birthday is next week, the same day has her dead grandmother’s. She’s been having these nightmares about a birthday cake and a scary man and the cliffs behind her house where her grandmother died. Josine the senile housekeeper has also been asking her a lot about a man named Jack. Nick is all, “I’M IN LOVE!” and they make out. Nick is kind of sick that way. Is there a disease where you’re drawn to tragic girlfriends? On Nick’s way home, he passes that blue Jaguar again but can’t tell who’s driving it.
The next night, Barb tells Nick a little more about her family: her great-grandfather was an artist. When her grandmother died, one of his pupils took her infant mother to Europe. All Barbara knows is that Uncle John claims to be her grandfather’s cousin, and that her parents never questioned it when sending her off to California for the summer. She’s getting suspicious, though. Also, he’s threatened to hurt her dog if she steps out of line again. Creepy!
Nick insists on taking her out to dinner the next night to take her mind off everything. Barb pretends to be sick to sneak out for the night, and she and Nick drive off. An elderly gas station attendant does a double take when he sees her all, “Barbara?” but then says he has her confused with someone else. When Nick gets to the restaurant, that blue Jaguar is parked outside. He’s determined to not wreck the night by bringing up Barb’s bizarre living situation, though, so he doesn’t say anything. There’s a handsome older man inside eating alone who quietly freaks out when he sees Barb, knocking over his wine glass, paying really fast, and hustling out of there. Nick notices, but Barb doesn’t. Nick asks Barb if she’s ever seen her uncle’s visitor, and Barb says no: mostly when the guy comes over Uncle John makes her walk Rory along the cliffs. When Nick takes Barb home, the Jaguar is parked outside her house.
Does anyone really not see where this is going yet? Anyone? This is so Scooby Doo.
Nick stops by the twins’ house to tell them about the weird guy at the restaurant the night before, and is shocked to see his photo on the front page of the newspaper: it’s possibly-crooked mayoral candidate Russell Kincaid! Why would he have been at an Italian restaurant in Ronoma, acting weird about Barbara and hanging out with her scary Uncle? I think I know why!
Nick finds a note on his car saying to stay away from Barbara. He throws it in the backseat all, “Whatever.”
When Nick goes to see Barbara the next day, she’s sobbing and frantic. When she got back from their date the night before, her dog was gone. She’s sure Uncle John knows she went out with Nick and hurt her dog in revenge. Then she and Nick make out. Dead dogs are so hot.
They search for Rory, and find his collar near the cliffs. It’s obviously a warning from Uncle John. Barb tells Nick that Josine tried to give her some cufflinks, saying, “These are Jack’s. I saved them for you,” and Barb had no idea what she was talking about. Barb convinces Nick to stay away for a few days to let things settle down, but when they come out from the woods Nick’s tires are slashed and his windshield shattered. He’ll have to hitchhike back to town and get a tow truck. No cell phones! Barb is terrified: now that Uncle John knows Nick’s car, Nick and the twins are in danger.
The twins? John’s never seen the twins. But okay, I’ll bite.
The twins invite Nick to the art show Jess has to research to take his mind off things, and he tells them about the missing dog. They’re grossed out, and then astonished that one of the paintings, titled Artist’s Daughter, looks just like Barbara. According to the wall text, Barbara Lazarow was the artist’s daughter, who drowned on her twenty first birthday. It seems she was Nick’s Barbara’s grandmother. The three of them head back to the paper to do research in the morgue, where all the old stories are kept, and find that Russell Kincaid was one of the students at the art colony. Nick wonders what he could want with current-Barbara, and how well he knew dead-Barbara.
Nick and the twins go to Barb’s house again, and see her walking with Josine. Barbara cries that she knows John makes her dress in old-fashioned clothes to confuse Josine, but she’s not her grandmother. Josine is all, “I told you he hated Jack. You shouldn’t have tried to hide Jack’s baby from him. Hate is just as strong as love. I told you so.”
A secret baby? Woo! I hope it makes this story more interesting!
Then Josine gets all lucid and is like, “Listen, your grandmother was murdered. Keep your friends away from here; he’s already gotten your dog.”
Barb sees Nick and tells him he can’t come back. He’s all, “But I love you!”
Liz finds an old article in the newspaper morgue about Barbara Lazarow’s murder: Russell Kincaid was questioned. The police thought he might have pushed her off the cliff, but then they decided she fell accidentally. Looking at Kincaid’s photo, Liz realizes that he looks a lot like Barb’s Uncle John. Enough to be brothers?
A secret baby and secret brothers? How could this story have both, and still be so freaking dull? Liz calls Jess about the article, but Ned and Alice come home. Jess asks if she can call Liz back in two minutes. As soon as Liz hangs up, the phone rings again. It’s a threatening guy, all, “You got a note on the car, the slashed up tires, and the missing dog! That’s three warnings! You’re so stupid! What does it take to scare you people away? Oh, and also? I’m going to kill Barbara on her birthday kthx.” Worst criminal ever.
Liz gets Jess on the phone and says that she’s leaving the paper right now, and if she’s not home in fifteen minutes Jess should call the police.
Jess and Liz work on their articles. They find that, along with Russell Kincaid, the other top student at the colony was named Jack Pearsall. They figure that’s the Jack who was dead-Barbara’s babydaddy. There’s no mention of the baby, though. The twins can’t figure out how Kincaid is involved.
Really? I bet I can.
The kids decide to rescue Barb that night, since she’s going to be murdered in a few days and all. Nick’s big plan? “I’ll go around back and sneak Barbara out. One of you will sit in my car with the lights out and the motor running, and the other one will ring the doorbell and distract Uncle John.” Jessica says, “That is not a fair division of labor, Nicholas!” Hee. She wants to be the one to ring the doorbell, to keep Liz as safe as possible, but for some reason Nick makes them draw straws and Liz picks the short one, so she’ll have to go. Jess is not pleased. When they get there, Kincaid’s Jaguar is parked in the driveway again.
Okay, here’s where it gets awesome. Chasing after Nick up to the house, Liz falls and hurts herself. Nick goes on without her. Jess finds Liz - she was too scared to stay in the Jeep by herself and wanted to help - and Liz convinces Jess to go after Nick and take over the door-ringing responsibilities. Jess doesn’t want to, but runs off. Liz tries to drag herself back to the Jeep, but is caught by Uncle John, who has a flashlight and a gun. You see, he is Russell Kincaid’s brother. Kincaid cheated him out of a million dollars when he dissolved their partnership, so in revenge John decided to reveal the murder Kincaid had committed decades ago and wreck his chances to be mayor. All he had to do was get Barbara to play ghost!
Yes, Virginia, Kincaid killed dead-Barbara. And there was no other way for John to get this done, or Kincaid would’ve had him killed.
Then John pistol-whips Liz into unconsciousness and drags her off. I’m not making that up.
Meanwhile, Jess runs around the back of the house, shouting that she banged on the door but nobody answered. She and Nick see Barbara and Russell Kincaid struggling on the cliffs. They go over the side, but Barb manages to grab onto a ledge, and Nick hauls her up. Barb sobs that Uncle John tied Josine up inside and has a gun, and Jess is all, “Holy crap, if he’s wandering around with a gun we have to go get Liz.” Nick is like, “But I thought you were Liz,” and Jess is all, “You’re a bonehead.”
They get to the spot in the woods where Jess last saw Liz, but of course, Liz is gone. Barb finds her lavaliere snagged on a tree, and she starts to cry. Nick tells her, “Don’t worry, we’ll save Elizabeth,” and Barb, bizarrely, replies, “No, I was crying about my dog.” What? Jess doesn’t slap her.
They go inside to free Josine and find her tied up in the kitchen. Josine is all, “If only you’d told me about your secret marriage and baby, Barbara!” Barb is like, “Please try not to be senile right now. We need to find our friend.” Josine is all, “Oh, that’s right, it’s present day now. John isn’t your uncle, he’s just some guy who wanted to drive his brother insane. I’d have told you before but he said he’d kill me.” Then she looks at Jess and is like, “Weren’t you unconscious a second ago?” It turns out John had come through with Liz, taken the key to the painting studio, which is an outbuilding in the yard, and left again. Barb climbs in the studio’s window and lets them in, and who do you think is there? Unconscious Liz and Rory the dog! John didn’t kill the dog after all, he just put it in the shed! I mean, I’m glad the dog is okay, but that’s kind of lame.
Nick runs back to the house to call an ambulance for Liz, and while they wait she wakes up. All the girls apologize to each other: Jess for leaving Liz, Liz for getting caught, and Barbara for being at the center of this freakish plot to begin with, and then the paramedics come and let Jess ride in the ambulance with Liz. Nick and Barb realize that John is gone, and he’s taken the blue Jaguar.
Ned and Alice get to the hospital, frantic after getting a call that Liz has been attacked. She has a concussion and a sprained ankle, but is mostly okay. The news says that the police found Russell Kincaid’s body. Nick and Barb call from the police station, saying the cops want to talk to Jess ASAP, so her parents drop her off there and say Nick can drive her home. They’re pretty blasé about it.
The police catch John Kincaid heading to Mexico, and for some reason Barb, Nick, and Jess get to sit in on his confession:
His brother Russell was obsessed with dead-Barbara, and driven insane by the knowledge that she’d married and had a baby with someone else. If he couldn’t have her, nobody could, so he pushed her off the cliff. He didn’t tell anyone except John. The years went by, and they went into business together and made millions. John claims to have been the brains behind the operation, and was dismayed when Russell decided to run for mayor of Sweet Valley because someone was probably going to figure out that he’d committed murder forty years ago. Russell dissolved their partnership, cheating John out of millions, so John planned his revenge: he lured Barb to California and made her walk along the cliffs at night in her grandmother’s clothes. Meanwhile, he told Russell he was writing a history of the house and suspected it was haunted, and made him come out and see Barb walking. He just wanted to freak his brother out; he never thought Russell would try to push Barb over the side again. He just wanted his brother to doubt his own sanity and quit the race. And he would’ve gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those darn kids!
The next day, the twins call Seth over so they can give him the full story for the paper. Jess hopes their picture will be on the front page, but Liz doubts it.
Barb goes back to stay at the house, because she wants to get to know Josine and learn about her grandmother without the threat of murder hanging over her head. The next morning, Josine brings her breakfast and recaps the whole plot again. Oh, and also, she says that when dead-Barbara died her secret babydaddy went insane with grief, which is why live-Barbara’s mom was raised in Europe by a friend. Poor crazy Jack still lives in a rest home or asylum or something in Ronoma, so Barb decides to go visit him.
Nick comes by. It’s Barb’s birthday, and he wants to help her celebrate. She asks him to take her to see her crazy grandpa, and also that she’s managed to get in touch with her parents. They’re going home to Switzerland right away and want her to come back too, and bring the crazy grandpa with her. Okay!
Nick is distraught. He cries and says he loves her, and Barb feels like crap that Nick has spent all this time risking his safety for her, and as soon as it’s over she has to leave, but they decide to make the most of the one day they have together.
The nurse is worried when she sees Barb, since she so closely resembles dead-Barbara, but tells her to go into Jack’s room anyway. Crazy grandpa Jack cries when he sees his granddaughter, but agrees to move to Switzerland. He can’t believe his daughter is still alive, and that he’s lived so many years in the past.
Nick and Barb go back to the house and walk along the cliffs. Nick keeps being a total irritating drag, all, “Can you believe this time tomorrow you’ll be on a plane flying away from me?” and, “Can you imagine how alone I’ll be without you?” and, “Isn’t your heart breaking like mine?” Finally she asks him, “Did you learn nothing from my crazy grandpa? Quit living in the past.” He cries! And then they make out. I can understand why: he’s definitely a prize. I would also want to make out with a needy weeper like Nicholas Morrow.
Nick gives Barb a locket with their initials on it, and she says she’ll be back in town sooner or later to help her parents set up a Lazarow museum at the house.
Seth shows the twins the paper, and sure enough, their pictures are on the front page, along with Nick’s. The headline is, “Local Teens Crack Revenge Story!” Hee. Crack is the word for it, for sure. Jess is all, “When was that picture taken? I look weird.”
Nick comes by the paper for lunch. He says that he cried all over Barb and crazy grandpa Jack at the airport, but then when he got back to his Jeep, he saw that Jack had left a portrait of dead-Barbara in it for him. This makes everything okay, since dead-Barbara looks just like live-Barbara. Right on!
Nick is pleased. I’m creeped out.
The End
Elizabeth and Jessica are still interns at the Sweet Valley News. That means more crime! Yay!
I don’t know why, but Liz’s barrettes look especially dumb on this cover.
The book starts at the newspaper cafeteria, where the twins are getting lunch. The campaign is on for mayor of Sweet Valley, and the two front runners are Miles Robinson, who is honest and good and has been in local politics for years, and Russell Kincaid, who’s a dark, handsome older man, ahead in the polls, and probably crooked. Jess likes him because he’s hot, but Liz and ace reporter Seth Miller don’t because there are rumors about bribery and shady business dealings. Seth tells Liz that if people give Kincaid enough rope, he’ll hang himself.
Adam, Steve’s friend, is still living with the Wakefields. He has fun playing tennis with Steve, and doesn’t seem at all like a guy who was recently framed for his fiancée’s brutal murder.
The paper is having a picnic in Ronoma County, which Jess is worried will be boring. Nicholas Morrow calls Liz, and she invites him to the picnic. Nick spills all his problems to Liz: since Heroically Deaf Regina died, he’s been despondent. Since he wasn’t in school when they moved to town, he’d made all his friends through her, so now seeing them reminds him of her, making him feel even more isolated. He’s depressed and his parents are sending him to a doctor for it and bugging him to get out of the house. He doesn’t want to come to the picnic, but pushy Liz says, “Regina wouldn’t have wanted you to spend all your time by yourself.” Nick finally gives in. Jess is sure she won’t enjoy herself with downer Nick around, but Liz insists, so Jess gives in.
Nick picks the twins up and looks like crap. Even Liz is rethinking inviting him, but she can’t back out now. On the way to the picnic, Nick overshares about his nightmares about Regina: he dreams he can hear her crying for him. Jess is like, “Ew.” Hee. She’s so sympathetic. Nick is also a downer at the picnic, and finally decides to go for a walk around the lake. Liz goes with him, since he’s her guest, even though she’d rather stay. He’s glad for the company. They head up toward some big houses on the ocean, because Nick wants to see the view from the cliffs. He walks right past someone’s gate and rose garden, not even caring that he’s trespassing, even though Liz protests. Then, a beautiful girl with an old-fashioned long dress and a little dog named Rory comes out of the woods. Nick and Liz are embarrassed to be tramping across her lawn, but she’s glad to meet new people.
The girl’s story is weird: her name is Barbara. She was born and raised in Switzerland. This house was her grandmother’s, who drowned on the cliffs shortly after Barbara’s mom was born. Barbara was invited to California by her grandfather’s cousin, whom she calls Uncle John. She came to learn more about her grandmother’s life. John is very strict with her, and insists she always come when she’s called. Barbara also lives with Josine, the housekeeper, who’s worked there since Barbara’s grandma was alive. Josine is senile and confuses Barbara with her grandma a lot. Also, Josine is scared of the cliffs, since that’s where Barbara’s grandma died, so Barbara is scared of them too. Uncle John makes Barbara walk Rory the dog along the cliffs sometimes, though, telling her she has to get over her fear. Liz can tell Nick really likes Barbara, since he didn’t start the conversation the way he usually does: “Hi, my name is Nicholas Morrow and my sister is dead.” Awesome. Uncle John calls Barbara inside, and she runs to him. Nick is mad he didn’t get her phone number.
Jess thinks Liz and Nick had all the fun, meeting a mystery girl while she was stuck at the picnic listening to people debate the mayoral race. Nick thinks it’s weird that Barbara ran inside when Uncle John called her, and is like, “I’d like to know what kind of hold they have on her.” Jess and Liz think he’s reading too much into it, and encourage him to go back tomorrow to get Barbara’s phone number.
Nick does, but Uncle John says Barbara isn’t allowed to date and slams the door in Nick’s face. Nick drives away in despair, but he hears a dog barking in the woods, gets out of his car to follow the sound, and finds Barbara laying on a blanket reading a book, her dog tied up nearby. She’s wearing another old-fashioned dress. She’s horrified when she finds out Nick went to her house, but won’t explain why. All she’ll say is that it’s a bad thing that Nick talked to Uncle John. Nick offers to toss pebbles at her window when he comes by, to let her know he’s there, and they make plans to meet the next night in the woods. Barbara is obviously involved in something pretty weird, but says it’ll be bearable now that she has Nick in her life. Nick’s in love.
The newspaper editor gives the twins special assignments: Jess has to help a reporter research an art exhibition of work by a guy named Paul Lazarow, who was an artist in Ronoma County, and Liz has to help Seth research the mayoral candidates. Jess thinks art sounds romantic, and Liz is happy too because now she’ll be able to find out if Kincaid is really a criminal.
They stop at Nick’s to find out how his night with Barbara went, and meet him on his way out to see her again. He asks them along because he wants their opinion on Barbara’s weird situation. Jess is all, “You want us to crash your date?” and when he explains, she actually goes inside to call for her parents’ permission. We’re continuing the bizarre tradition of parental responsibility, I see!
When the kids get to Barbara’s house, they see a blue Jaguar parked in the driveway and are curious. Barb meets them in the woods, and seems really freaked out about Uncle John and his visitor. Nick offers to take her to Sweet Valley if she’s scared, but she says no: if she left John would hurt old Josine, the housekeeper. Also, she can’t call her parents because they’re doing research on a Greek island for the summer. It’s true, there are no phones in Greece.
John comes out of the house and starts heading for them. Barb tells them to run and not stop until they reach the road, and she’ll see Nick tomorrow night. The kids run a little ways, but then stop and peek around a tree to spy on Barb. John twists Barb’s arm and hurts her, but she insists that she wasn’t out to meet anyone, just to walk the dog. He’s all, “You’re not allowed to walk the dog unless I say you can! And if you meet anyone out here, like that boy from the other day, you know what will happen.” Barb points out that John’s visitor is leaving and he drags her back to the house. The twins have to hold Nick back from knocking John down.
The twins work on their newspaper articles. Paul Lazarow, Jess’s artist, was pretty famous. He studied in Paris and started a well-known artists’ colony in Ronoma. Liz isn’t finding anything about Kincaid, so she talks to Seth for advice. Seth has learned a few things: first, that Kincaid was in business with his brother but dissolved the partnership about six months ago. Second, that Kincaid’s high school yearbook (class of 1945 represent!) said his ambition was to be a painter. I’ve never read this book before and I already see where it’s going.
Nick goes back to see Barbara. He’s a little late because of traffic, and when he finally arrives she’s frantic, thinking that John had hurt him. Barbara claims that Nick and the twins are in danger because Uncle John thinks they’re trying to take Barb away from the house. She tells Nick her birthday is next week, the same day has her dead grandmother’s. She’s been having these nightmares about a birthday cake and a scary man and the cliffs behind her house where her grandmother died. Josine the senile housekeeper has also been asking her a lot about a man named Jack. Nick is all, “I’M IN LOVE!” and they make out. Nick is kind of sick that way. Is there a disease where you’re drawn to tragic girlfriends? On Nick’s way home, he passes that blue Jaguar again but can’t tell who’s driving it.
The next night, Barb tells Nick a little more about her family: her great-grandfather was an artist. When her grandmother died, one of his pupils took her infant mother to Europe. All Barbara knows is that Uncle John claims to be her grandfather’s cousin, and that her parents never questioned it when sending her off to California for the summer. She’s getting suspicious, though. Also, he’s threatened to hurt her dog if she steps out of line again. Creepy!
Nick insists on taking her out to dinner the next night to take her mind off everything. Barb pretends to be sick to sneak out for the night, and she and Nick drive off. An elderly gas station attendant does a double take when he sees her all, “Barbara?” but then says he has her confused with someone else. When Nick gets to the restaurant, that blue Jaguar is parked outside. He’s determined to not wreck the night by bringing up Barb’s bizarre living situation, though, so he doesn’t say anything. There’s a handsome older man inside eating alone who quietly freaks out when he sees Barb, knocking over his wine glass, paying really fast, and hustling out of there. Nick notices, but Barb doesn’t. Nick asks Barb if she’s ever seen her uncle’s visitor, and Barb says no: mostly when the guy comes over Uncle John makes her walk Rory along the cliffs. When Nick takes Barb home, the Jaguar is parked outside her house.
Does anyone really not see where this is going yet? Anyone? This is so Scooby Doo.
Nick stops by the twins’ house to tell them about the weird guy at the restaurant the night before, and is shocked to see his photo on the front page of the newspaper: it’s possibly-crooked mayoral candidate Russell Kincaid! Why would he have been at an Italian restaurant in Ronoma, acting weird about Barbara and hanging out with her scary Uncle? I think I know why!
Nick finds a note on his car saying to stay away from Barbara. He throws it in the backseat all, “Whatever.”
When Nick goes to see Barbara the next day, she’s sobbing and frantic. When she got back from their date the night before, her dog was gone. She’s sure Uncle John knows she went out with Nick and hurt her dog in revenge. Then she and Nick make out. Dead dogs are so hot.
They search for Rory, and find his collar near the cliffs. It’s obviously a warning from Uncle John. Barb tells Nick that Josine tried to give her some cufflinks, saying, “These are Jack’s. I saved them for you,” and Barb had no idea what she was talking about. Barb convinces Nick to stay away for a few days to let things settle down, but when they come out from the woods Nick’s tires are slashed and his windshield shattered. He’ll have to hitchhike back to town and get a tow truck. No cell phones! Barb is terrified: now that Uncle John knows Nick’s car, Nick and the twins are in danger.
The twins? John’s never seen the twins. But okay, I’ll bite.
The twins invite Nick to the art show Jess has to research to take his mind off things, and he tells them about the missing dog. They’re grossed out, and then astonished that one of the paintings, titled Artist’s Daughter, looks just like Barbara. According to the wall text, Barbara Lazarow was the artist’s daughter, who drowned on her twenty first birthday. It seems she was Nick’s Barbara’s grandmother. The three of them head back to the paper to do research in the morgue, where all the old stories are kept, and find that Russell Kincaid was one of the students at the art colony. Nick wonders what he could want with current-Barbara, and how well he knew dead-Barbara.
Nick and the twins go to Barb’s house again, and see her walking with Josine. Barbara cries that she knows John makes her dress in old-fashioned clothes to confuse Josine, but she’s not her grandmother. Josine is all, “I told you he hated Jack. You shouldn’t have tried to hide Jack’s baby from him. Hate is just as strong as love. I told you so.”
A secret baby? Woo! I hope it makes this story more interesting!
Then Josine gets all lucid and is like, “Listen, your grandmother was murdered. Keep your friends away from here; he’s already gotten your dog.”
Barb sees Nick and tells him he can’t come back. He’s all, “But I love you!”
Liz finds an old article in the newspaper morgue about Barbara Lazarow’s murder: Russell Kincaid was questioned. The police thought he might have pushed her off the cliff, but then they decided she fell accidentally. Looking at Kincaid’s photo, Liz realizes that he looks a lot like Barb’s Uncle John. Enough to be brothers?
A secret baby and secret brothers? How could this story have both, and still be so freaking dull? Liz calls Jess about the article, but Ned and Alice come home. Jess asks if she can call Liz back in two minutes. As soon as Liz hangs up, the phone rings again. It’s a threatening guy, all, “You got a note on the car, the slashed up tires, and the missing dog! That’s three warnings! You’re so stupid! What does it take to scare you people away? Oh, and also? I’m going to kill Barbara on her birthday kthx.” Worst criminal ever.
Liz gets Jess on the phone and says that she’s leaving the paper right now, and if she’s not home in fifteen minutes Jess should call the police.
Jess and Liz work on their articles. They find that, along with Russell Kincaid, the other top student at the colony was named Jack Pearsall. They figure that’s the Jack who was dead-Barbara’s babydaddy. There’s no mention of the baby, though. The twins can’t figure out how Kincaid is involved.
Really? I bet I can.
The kids decide to rescue Barb that night, since she’s going to be murdered in a few days and all. Nick’s big plan? “I’ll go around back and sneak Barbara out. One of you will sit in my car with the lights out and the motor running, and the other one will ring the doorbell and distract Uncle John.” Jessica says, “That is not a fair division of labor, Nicholas!” Hee. She wants to be the one to ring the doorbell, to keep Liz as safe as possible, but for some reason Nick makes them draw straws and Liz picks the short one, so she’ll have to go. Jess is not pleased. When they get there, Kincaid’s Jaguar is parked in the driveway again.
Okay, here’s where it gets awesome. Chasing after Nick up to the house, Liz falls and hurts herself. Nick goes on without her. Jess finds Liz - she was too scared to stay in the Jeep by herself and wanted to help - and Liz convinces Jess to go after Nick and take over the door-ringing responsibilities. Jess doesn’t want to, but runs off. Liz tries to drag herself back to the Jeep, but is caught by Uncle John, who has a flashlight and a gun. You see, he is Russell Kincaid’s brother. Kincaid cheated him out of a million dollars when he dissolved their partnership, so in revenge John decided to reveal the murder Kincaid had committed decades ago and wreck his chances to be mayor. All he had to do was get Barbara to play ghost!
Yes, Virginia, Kincaid killed dead-Barbara. And there was no other way for John to get this done, or Kincaid would’ve had him killed.
Then John pistol-whips Liz into unconsciousness and drags her off. I’m not making that up.
Meanwhile, Jess runs around the back of the house, shouting that she banged on the door but nobody answered. She and Nick see Barbara and Russell Kincaid struggling on the cliffs. They go over the side, but Barb manages to grab onto a ledge, and Nick hauls her up. Barb sobs that Uncle John tied Josine up inside and has a gun, and Jess is all, “Holy crap, if he’s wandering around with a gun we have to go get Liz.” Nick is like, “But I thought you were Liz,” and Jess is all, “You’re a bonehead.”
They get to the spot in the woods where Jess last saw Liz, but of course, Liz is gone. Barb finds her lavaliere snagged on a tree, and she starts to cry. Nick tells her, “Don’t worry, we’ll save Elizabeth,” and Barb, bizarrely, replies, “No, I was crying about my dog.” What? Jess doesn’t slap her.
They go inside to free Josine and find her tied up in the kitchen. Josine is all, “If only you’d told me about your secret marriage and baby, Barbara!” Barb is like, “Please try not to be senile right now. We need to find our friend.” Josine is all, “Oh, that’s right, it’s present day now. John isn’t your uncle, he’s just some guy who wanted to drive his brother insane. I’d have told you before but he said he’d kill me.” Then she looks at Jess and is like, “Weren’t you unconscious a second ago?” It turns out John had come through with Liz, taken the key to the painting studio, which is an outbuilding in the yard, and left again. Barb climbs in the studio’s window and lets them in, and who do you think is there? Unconscious Liz and Rory the dog! John didn’t kill the dog after all, he just put it in the shed! I mean, I’m glad the dog is okay, but that’s kind of lame.
Nick runs back to the house to call an ambulance for Liz, and while they wait she wakes up. All the girls apologize to each other: Jess for leaving Liz, Liz for getting caught, and Barbara for being at the center of this freakish plot to begin with, and then the paramedics come and let Jess ride in the ambulance with Liz. Nick and Barb realize that John is gone, and he’s taken the blue Jaguar.
Ned and Alice get to the hospital, frantic after getting a call that Liz has been attacked. She has a concussion and a sprained ankle, but is mostly okay. The news says that the police found Russell Kincaid’s body. Nick and Barb call from the police station, saying the cops want to talk to Jess ASAP, so her parents drop her off there and say Nick can drive her home. They’re pretty blasé about it.
The police catch John Kincaid heading to Mexico, and for some reason Barb, Nick, and Jess get to sit in on his confession:
His brother Russell was obsessed with dead-Barbara, and driven insane by the knowledge that she’d married and had a baby with someone else. If he couldn’t have her, nobody could, so he pushed her off the cliff. He didn’t tell anyone except John. The years went by, and they went into business together and made millions. John claims to have been the brains behind the operation, and was dismayed when Russell decided to run for mayor of Sweet Valley because someone was probably going to figure out that he’d committed murder forty years ago. Russell dissolved their partnership, cheating John out of millions, so John planned his revenge: he lured Barb to California and made her walk along the cliffs at night in her grandmother’s clothes. Meanwhile, he told Russell he was writing a history of the house and suspected it was haunted, and made him come out and see Barb walking. He just wanted to freak his brother out; he never thought Russell would try to push Barb over the side again. He just wanted his brother to doubt his own sanity and quit the race. And he would’ve gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those darn kids!
The next day, the twins call Seth over so they can give him the full story for the paper. Jess hopes their picture will be on the front page, but Liz doubts it.
Barb goes back to stay at the house, because she wants to get to know Josine and learn about her grandmother without the threat of murder hanging over her head. The next morning, Josine brings her breakfast and recaps the whole plot again. Oh, and also, she says that when dead-Barbara died her secret babydaddy went insane with grief, which is why live-Barbara’s mom was raised in Europe by a friend. Poor crazy Jack still lives in a rest home or asylum or something in Ronoma, so Barb decides to go visit him.
Nick comes by. It’s Barb’s birthday, and he wants to help her celebrate. She asks him to take her to see her crazy grandpa, and also that she’s managed to get in touch with her parents. They’re going home to Switzerland right away and want her to come back too, and bring the crazy grandpa with her. Okay!
Nick is distraught. He cries and says he loves her, and Barb feels like crap that Nick has spent all this time risking his safety for her, and as soon as it’s over she has to leave, but they decide to make the most of the one day they have together.
The nurse is worried when she sees Barb, since she so closely resembles dead-Barbara, but tells her to go into Jack’s room anyway. Crazy grandpa Jack cries when he sees his granddaughter, but agrees to move to Switzerland. He can’t believe his daughter is still alive, and that he’s lived so many years in the past.
Nick and Barb go back to the house and walk along the cliffs. Nick keeps being a total irritating drag, all, “Can you believe this time tomorrow you’ll be on a plane flying away from me?” and, “Can you imagine how alone I’ll be without you?” and, “Isn’t your heart breaking like mine?” Finally she asks him, “Did you learn nothing from my crazy grandpa? Quit living in the past.” He cries! And then they make out. I can understand why: he’s definitely a prize. I would also want to make out with a needy weeper like Nicholas Morrow.
Nick gives Barb a locket with their initials on it, and she says she’ll be back in town sooner or later to help her parents set up a Lazarow museum at the house.
Seth shows the twins the paper, and sure enough, their pictures are on the front page, along with Nick’s. The headline is, “Local Teens Crack Revenge Story!” Hee. Crack is the word for it, for sure. Jess is all, “When was that picture taken? I look weird.”
Nick comes by the paper for lunch. He says that he cried all over Barb and crazy grandpa Jack at the airport, but then when he got back to his Jeep, he saw that Jack had left a portrait of dead-Barbara in it for him. This makes everything okay, since dead-Barbara looks just like live-Barbara. Right on!
Nick is pleased. I’m creeped out.
The End