Sweet Valley Twins "and Friends" #54, The Big Party Weekend
Where Ned and Alice try to be responsible parents and hire a baby-sitter!
Cover time...
You can't see them very well, but Liz and Jess are glaring at eachother and picking up garbage from their big party weekend gone wrong (Steven's there, too, stupidly holding a broom). Their garbage includes pizza, Lay's potato chips, microwave popcorn, and a soda can that looks like it says SOUP on it. The reason they were able to buy all this food is because they held a yard sale -- and Jessica SOLD her mother's precious wooden rose heirloom (yes, THAT wooden rose!!!!)
We begin, as usual, with dialogue. Do these books ever NOT start with dialogue? This time, Jessica's barging into Elizabeth's room, all excited because Ned and Alice are going to Mexico. Jess is convinced her parents are going to let her and Liz and Steven stay alone. Boring Liz thinks otherwise, and suggests that maybe Ned and Alice just haven't found a baby-sitter yet. Cue the identical-yet-different spiel, Unicorns vs. Sixers, etc. (on page 2 this time!).
At school, Jessica tells the Unicorns that her parents are letting her stay alone, and that she's going to throw a party. The Unicorns think this is awesome. Apparently Jess is the first sixth grader to throw a party without parents. I think that's really happened in other books, but I could be wrong. Anyway in Jess's mind this makes her a "trend-setter", and she LOVES it! Especially after she asks Aaron Dallas to her party, and Aaron says yes.
Later, Jess catches up with Elizabeth on their way out of school and tries to tell her about the party. Before she can finish, Aaron and Ken and Tom McKay ride past on their bikes and ask what time they should come over on Saturday. Liz asks what's going on Saturday, and Tom's all, "Ha ha, good one Liz!" Jessica tells the boys to come over around seven. They leave, and Jess turns to Liz and starts fawning over Aaron, but Liz DEMANDS to know what this party business is all about! Liz wants to know if Jess asked Ned and Alice for permission to throw a party. Jessica rightfully thinks this question is lame. She tells Liz to chill, and begs her to please not tattle to Ned and Alice. Liz goody-goodies, "I still don't think this is a good idea" but she agrees not to mention the party to their parents (especially after Jess says she can invite Amy, Julie, Todd, and the rest of her nerdy friends).
At home that night, even Liz admits that it doesn't seem like Ned and Alice hired a baby-sitter, and that they really might get to stay alone. Steven comes into Liz's room to announce that he, too, plans on throwing a party that weekend. Jess loves this -- she thinks high schoolers will make HER party even cooler! Steven's more skeptical, but he agrees to throw a joint party, so long as Jess's silly Unicorn friends leave his friends alone.
Breakfast the next morning. Saint Liz's conscience bothers her. She asks her parents if she can do something to help them out while they're on their trip (so she won't feel so guilty about the party). Ned and Alice bring up their garage, which is a big old mess. Steven and Jess suggest a garage sale, and are all gung-ho because they get to keep half the money ... which means food for their PARTY!
Jess goes to school and brags about her party. Ellen wants to bring Rick Hunter, which makes Jess daydream about kissing Aaron. Later, at dinner, the kids are all tired and sore from cleaning out the garage. Alice makes some dumb joke about Steven's famous appetite. Then she's all "Speaking of food..." and tells the kids they don't have to do all their own cooking while she and Ned are away. Steven's like "Great! Pizza!" but Alice just laughs ... and drops her bombshell ... she and Ned really DID hire a baby-sitter for the weekend!!!!!!! Gasp!
But I guess I gave that away in my intro, didn't I? Obviously, the kids aren't happy to hear it! They do their best to argue with Ned and Alice. Jess is like, "We're almost thirteen!" and Steven's all, "We know how to cook!" Ned and Alice don't budge. They do say, oh so sense-makingly, that if they were going to San Francisco, they might leave the kids alone. But Mexico's just too far away. Even St. Liz tries to argue, but Ned and Alice have their minds made up -- May Brown, the baby-sitter, will be there at Casa Wakefield after school the next day. Period! End of discussion! Jess sighs and thinks, So much for her big bash...
But of course, this is Jessica we're talking about. She's not really going to cancel her party. At school, some Unicorns want to know how late the party will go, and Jess just shrugs, "Oh, probably 'til midnight ... you know, Steven's friends." Janet says there hasn't been a good party since Aaron Dallas's last bash. Jess worries about Aaron finding out that she's not so mature after all. Isn't Aaron supposed to be all immature himself? Anyway, Liz doesn't tell her friends about the baby-sitter, either, nor does she say that the party's off. Amy brings up her random new boyfriend, wanting to know if she can bring him to the party, and Liz is like, "Sure, whatever." Liz thinks that it doesn't matter who's invited to the party, as long as they don't actually show up for it!
Jessica and Elizabeth walk home. Jess grumbles about the party and the baby-sitter, and Liz acts self-righteous ("We shouldn't have planned a party without permission!"). Liz isn't happy about the baby-sitter but hopes that she'll at least be the grandmotherly type. They go inside, only to find Steven and a gray-haired lady standing there glaring at eachother. She doesn't look very much like the grandmotherly type.
The lady (May Brown) snaps, "It's about time you two got home!" and Jess is like, "Calm down, lady, we just got out of school twenty minutes ago." May accepts this, but then gets all pissed because Liz and Jess just look too much alike. She suggests wearing nametags ... making Steven (and me) laugh. Jess is all, "I'm not wearing a nametag!" Jessica tells May she can distinguish the twins by their hair (Jessica's loose waves vs. Liz's barrettes and ponytails).
Jess goes to get a cookie out of the cookie jar. May tells her no, that it's bad nutrition. Jess argues that her mother always lets her have a cookie, but May's all, "Not while I'M in charge!" and makes Jess drinks a glass of juice instead. We get a description of May's outfit, which consists of a "straight brown skirt, a white blouse, and sturdy brown shoes" (that remind snobby Elizabeth of bowling shoes).
At the refrigerator, Jess notices a list of "house rules" posted up. Rules being a foreign concept to Jess, she demands to know what the list means. May is like, "I want order!" and tells the kids to look over her list of rules. They do so, complaining brattily. May gives them all juice, and Jess gulps hers down and asks for more. May tells her to drink a glass of water instead. Steven makes a snarky comment -- then May loses her temper and flat-out tells the Wakefield kids what brats they are! She tells them they have no manners. Go, May! Jessica sasses, "We're going to learn manners from YOU?" and May makes her go to her room. So all THREE kids go to Jess's room to complain about May and plan some obnoxious plot to drive her away.
Dinnertime ... May summons the kids downstairs with a whistle! She's Captain Von Trapp! She also makes them wash their hands and says that she doesn't want any germs at the table. Steven whispers that May is a germ.
Dinner consists of chicken cacciatore, spinach, and broccoli casserole. That sounds good! The kids eat the chicken, but complain about the vegetables. Are they six? Jessica asks for salad instead (news flash, Jess: salad is vegetables) and tells May that the spinach and broccoli will make her sick. May is all, "One more word out of you, Elizabeth, and you can wash all the dishes tonight" (Jess doesn't bother correcting her).
Steven pretends that he smells something burning, and May doesn't believe him but goes to look just in case. Steven throws his food out the window. But when Liz and Jess try to do the same, Mean Old May catches them and yells at them! She yells at them all through dinner! She makes them clean their plates, and hints that they'll have to go on a two-mile walk after dinner.
That night, the kids are able to get away from May long enough to work on their garage sale. They come inside just in time to hear May screaming that her hair is purple! Jessica the monster put some hair dye in May's shampoo. All the kids deny involvement, though, and May tells them that she'll deal with them later. Then May discovers that her clothes are missing. She's not naked, but she's stuck in her robe! Again, the Wakefield kids deny involvement -- and when May stomps off to look some more, Jess grabs May's clothes from her mess of a room and runs them back to May's bed. Jess is like, "Here they are ... maybe you're getting senile?" and May "Hmmphs!" and slams her door. Later, she tries to make the kids apologize, but once more they act like brats ... and once more, May tells them they have bad parents. And since it's obvious that Ned and Alice never punish their kids -- May decides that SHE will! She assigns them all chores; the Wakefields gripe and groan.
But it's not enough to keep them from playing dirty tricks. That night, they set all the alarm clocks for 3:45 in the morning (they also set them to hard rock stations, and remove the 'off-on' button). May strikes me as someone who would set her own alarm, but whatever. Maybe she brought her own clock and didn't bother to check the Wakefields'. The next morning, May looks tired from being woke up, but she seems to be in a good mood. She's dumb enough to take up Steven on his offer to make coffee. He makes it, alright -- with his own special recipe that includes garlic powder, bay leaves, cayenne, and tabasco sauce. May takes a sip and reacts "comically" with a red face and watery eyes. She runs away to the bathroom to throw up or whatever. She comes back and calls the Wakefield kids monsters! Steven tries to reason that they just don't want a baby-sitter, and May's like, "I'm not going anywhere!" She takes away their phone priveleges ... which hits Jessica the hardest, so Jess runs upstairs to complain about how unfair May is.
That afternoon, it's time for their little garage sale. Liz hurries home to get things ready. May is there in the kitchen and says, "Hello... where's Elizabeth?" Liz responds that she IS Elizabeth. May is all, "Honestly, I don't know why you two have to look so much alike!" May seems seriously annoyed by this, but Liz says that she can't help it. May asks Liz if she's ready for the sale, and doesn't believe Liz when she says yes. May is so mean that St. Elizabeth "takes a tone" with her! May lectures Liz some more, then leaves the house to get some groceries. Liz yells at the door, "Don't hurry!" She tries to grab a cookie from the jar to ease her stress ... only to find a note in the cookie jar. It reads, No cookies between meals. Augghh!
At least Liz has her garage sale to keep her mind off of May. Liz sells some stuff; then Amy comes by with her random boyfriend. Rob. Rob is Kirk Anderson-style obnoxious, and Amy just giggles and bats her eyes. Rob even likes Johnny Gordon & the Waves (Betsy Gordon's stupid brother's band) who are a notoriously horrible band! Liz can't stand him, and she doesn't understand Amy's behavior. But Rob and Amy don't stick around for very long...
Jess and Steven come to help out with the garage sale. It's not going very well, so they're all bummed. May comes home and tells Steven to help her put away groceries. Then Liz goes to make lemonade, leaving Jess to run the sale by herself. You know this will end well...
A scruffy man comes and wants to look around in some boxes (boxes that Alice specified earlier were no-no's). Liz had covered up the boxes with blankets, but Jess tells the man it's okay to look. He starts to browse ... Jess daydreams about ways to get May out of the house ... the man comes over with a glass container that holds a carved wooden rose. He offers Jessica $75 for the rose, and Jess -- who suddenly seems determined that she'll be able to get May to drive somewhere far, far away so she can have her party -- thinks of all the food that $75 could buy for her shindig. She sells the man the rose! Liz comes back outside with the lemonade, and Jess is all, "Guess what!" Jess tells Liz about the man, and a horrified Liz replies that Jessica just sold their great-great-great grandmother's carved wooden rose ... one of Alice Wakefield's favorite things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11bruce1!!!
Jess and Liz unsuccessfully chase after the car of the scruffy man. They come home and share the bad news with Steven. There's a little blurb about Swedish Alice Larson from the Wakefield legacy books (I wonder if a diligent ghost-writer penned this... or maybe the same ghost-writer?). Jess wonders, if the rose was so important to Alice, why did she store it out in the garage in some box? She has a point. Liz has some answer about how Alice was afraid the rose would break. Liz lectures Jess. Steven defends her, but Jess doesn't really care -- she's too busy thinking about her new plan to get May out of the house! It's something she saw on Days of Turmoil, so it's obviously foolproof. She shares it with Steven, and he agrees to give the plan a shot (Liz is too busy trying to figure out how to get the rose back).
With just a couple of nights left until the party, we get some brief scenes of May yelling at Liz, Jess flirting with Aaron, and Liz trying to find the rose. Oh, and there's a little bit where Brooke Dennis worries about her rock star mom (which is foreshadowing for the next book). And more of Amy's obnoxious boyfriend. Finally it's the day of the party! Liz is still bummed because she hasn't been able to find Alice's rose. Jess convinces her not to worry, and they go upstairs to pick out clothes for their secret bash! Jess wants to wear Liz's pink blouse with the "thin white lines" on it (um, ghostwriter, the word is stripes).
Four-o-clock rolls around ... it's time to put the plan into action. May is in the kitchen; Liz and Jess go to the living room, where they hang around playing innocent. In walks Steven (the star of their plan). He sullenly storms over to the copper-colored refrigerator. His shoes are covered with mud, and May insists that he take them off. Steven throws them at the wall! May's all, "Don't throw things in the house!" and Steven's all, "It's MY house!" They continue their showdown -- Steven pulls out some french fries out of the freezer and goes to microwave them. May unplugs the microwave. And then Steven throws a fit, "I'm sick of it! I try and try, and it's never good enough for you!" he rants. He throws the bag of fries on the floor and storms upstairs! Jess and Liz secretly smile at eachother because their plan is working.
May sadly picks up the french fries from the floor. Steven comes back downstairs with a bag and pretends to run away. May looks out the window after him and worries, but Jess and Liz are all, "Oh he'll be back." At dinner, they tell some lie about a time that Steven supposedly ran away to Los Angeles. May freaks out. But then Steven calls and pretends to be at a friend's house in Palilla Canyon (which is supposedly a ways away). May swallows this, takes down directions, and runs out to rescue Steven. She tells the twins not to let any strangers in, and Jess is like, "We won't" (and then to Liz, "We're only letting in friends!")
With poor sucker May out of their hair, the twins and Steven can FINALLY party! Steven comes back from the grocery store, where he'd been hiding out while pretending to be at Palilla Canyon. He also picked up some food with the wooden rose money. The kids set out their food and brag about how awesome they are. Steven gave May bad directions ... so they assume that she'll be gone for hours. I hope when May inevitably DOES come back that she makes them pay for her gas! The kids finish putting out their food, and party guests start showing up ... Lila's first, followed by a crowd of Steven's friends.
At first the party's all fun and games and stuff, though Amy's boyfriend Rob is there and acts super obnoxious. Amy confesses to Liz that she doesn't really like Rob ... she just wanted a boyfriend because Liz has Todd. Liz assures Amy that they'll always be BFF. Awww. Anyway Janet Howell approves of the party and that's all that matters to Jess. The Wakefields DO have a close call when May phones. May's two hours away and worried about Steven. Liz feels guilty, but Jess assures both May and Liz that everything's cool.
It doesn't stay cool for long! Right about this time, the party (predictably) begins to spiral out of control. The place is crowded with kids, who blare loud music and knock down Ned and Alice's lamp. Liz and Jess and Steven try to calm things down, but nobody listens -- everyone else is having too much fun!<>
The Wakefields go outside, only to see that their pool has become a mess of food and garbage and other debris. Steven tries to clean it ... but gets pushed in! HA! Steven trudges inside to change, all, "V-v-very funny"-ish ... Liz hears everyone laugh at him and feels sad.
Meanwhile, Jess gets her kiss from Aaron and feels all "tingly inside", but the moment is ruined when a slab of bologna falls down from the ceiling and hits her cheek. FOOD FIGHT! Lila teases Jess about the bologna and then says that she has to go home. Most of the rest of the twins' friends leave, too. Soon it's just the Wakefields, Ken Matthews, Todd, Amy, and a bunch of strange kids. Oh, and Rob. Jess sees Rob try to steal some of her CD's. Ken gets them back for her and tells Rob to get lost. Rob is like, "Fine, this party sucks ... c'mon, Amy!" but Amy is like "No way" because she's really loved Ken all along. Rob leaves. WHat was the point of Rob?
Soon, even Ken and Amy and (useless) Todd have to take off. The twins tell Steven to make his friends go home. All three Wakefields realize that none of them even know who the strange kids are that have taken over their house. They stand around helplessly in the kitchen. The door opens and Steven's all, "The party's over -- go home!" But it's not another rowdy party crasher ... this time, it's May.
Rightfully furious, May goes upstairs to pack her things and get as far away from the Wakefields as she can. Of course, now that they've been caught, the twins and Steven are all remorseful. They beg May to help. She tells them to go away and let her pack. I wish she would have left it at that... but unfortunately, she ends up rescuing the twins and Steven after all. She does this by grabbing her whistle, marching downstairs and telling all the strange partiers that she wants all of them out imMEDiately!
So the Wakefield kids apologize to May. In return, she gives them a speech about how she's not used to teenagers, blah blah. They volunteer to do all the cleaning (how big of them) and May says that maybe they haven't been brought up so poorly after all. Sigh.
The next morning, true to their word, Steven and the twins manage to clean everything up. May comes back from wherever with a brown bag for Elizabeth. Inside the bag, Liz finds ... Alice's wooden rose!! Liz is like "How...what?" and May mentions a fight (that I glossed over) that she had earlier with Liz, when Liz lied about going to the antique store (May just happened to see her that day). For some reason, May took the trouble to get the rose back all by herself. Now Alice will never know.
Speaking of Alice, she and Ned come back from their trip. They ask May about their kids and May says it was nothing she couldn't handle. She doesn't tell about the party. Jess and Liz and Steven give May an Honorary Grandmother certificate before she leaves. How sweet. I think they owe her more, though.
The rest of the book is more foreshadowing for Brooke and her rock-star mom Coco. I wish I could find that one -- it's been awhile since I read about Coco's mean manager...
Cover time...
You can't see them very well, but Liz and Jess are glaring at eachother and picking up garbage from their big party weekend gone wrong (Steven's there, too, stupidly holding a broom). Their garbage includes pizza, Lay's potato chips, microwave popcorn, and a soda can that looks like it says SOUP on it. The reason they were able to buy all this food is because they held a yard sale -- and Jessica SOLD her mother's precious wooden rose heirloom (yes, THAT wooden rose!!!!)
We begin, as usual, with dialogue. Do these books ever NOT start with dialogue? This time, Jessica's barging into Elizabeth's room, all excited because Ned and Alice are going to Mexico. Jess is convinced her parents are going to let her and Liz and Steven stay alone. Boring Liz thinks otherwise, and suggests that maybe Ned and Alice just haven't found a baby-sitter yet. Cue the identical-yet-different spiel, Unicorns vs. Sixers, etc. (on page 2 this time!).
At school, Jessica tells the Unicorns that her parents are letting her stay alone, and that she's going to throw a party. The Unicorns think this is awesome. Apparently Jess is the first sixth grader to throw a party without parents. I think that's really happened in other books, but I could be wrong. Anyway in Jess's mind this makes her a "trend-setter", and she LOVES it! Especially after she asks Aaron Dallas to her party, and Aaron says yes.
Later, Jess catches up with Elizabeth on their way out of school and tries to tell her about the party. Before she can finish, Aaron and Ken and Tom McKay ride past on their bikes and ask what time they should come over on Saturday. Liz asks what's going on Saturday, and Tom's all, "Ha ha, good one Liz!" Jessica tells the boys to come over around seven. They leave, and Jess turns to Liz and starts fawning over Aaron, but Liz DEMANDS to know what this party business is all about! Liz wants to know if Jess asked Ned and Alice for permission to throw a party. Jessica rightfully thinks this question is lame. She tells Liz to chill, and begs her to please not tattle to Ned and Alice. Liz goody-goodies, "I still don't think this is a good idea" but she agrees not to mention the party to their parents (especially after Jess says she can invite Amy, Julie, Todd, and the rest of her nerdy friends).
At home that night, even Liz admits that it doesn't seem like Ned and Alice hired a baby-sitter, and that they really might get to stay alone. Steven comes into Liz's room to announce that he, too, plans on throwing a party that weekend. Jess loves this -- she thinks high schoolers will make HER party even cooler! Steven's more skeptical, but he agrees to throw a joint party, so long as Jess's silly Unicorn friends leave his friends alone.
Breakfast the next morning. Saint Liz's conscience bothers her. She asks her parents if she can do something to help them out while they're on their trip (so she won't feel so guilty about the party). Ned and Alice bring up their garage, which is a big old mess. Steven and Jess suggest a garage sale, and are all gung-ho because they get to keep half the money ... which means food for their PARTY!
Jess goes to school and brags about her party. Ellen wants to bring Rick Hunter, which makes Jess daydream about kissing Aaron. Later, at dinner, the kids are all tired and sore from cleaning out the garage. Alice makes some dumb joke about Steven's famous appetite. Then she's all "Speaking of food..." and tells the kids they don't have to do all their own cooking while she and Ned are away. Steven's like "Great! Pizza!" but Alice just laughs ... and drops her bombshell ... she and Ned really DID hire a baby-sitter for the weekend!!!!!!! Gasp!
But I guess I gave that away in my intro, didn't I? Obviously, the kids aren't happy to hear it! They do their best to argue with Ned and Alice. Jess is like, "We're almost thirteen!" and Steven's all, "We know how to cook!" Ned and Alice don't budge. They do say, oh so sense-makingly, that if they were going to San Francisco, they might leave the kids alone. But Mexico's just too far away. Even St. Liz tries to argue, but Ned and Alice have their minds made up -- May Brown, the baby-sitter, will be there at Casa Wakefield after school the next day. Period! End of discussion! Jess sighs and thinks, So much for her big bash...
But of course, this is Jessica we're talking about. She's not really going to cancel her party. At school, some Unicorns want to know how late the party will go, and Jess just shrugs, "Oh, probably 'til midnight ... you know, Steven's friends." Janet says there hasn't been a good party since Aaron Dallas's last bash. Jess worries about Aaron finding out that she's not so mature after all. Isn't Aaron supposed to be all immature himself? Anyway, Liz doesn't tell her friends about the baby-sitter, either, nor does she say that the party's off. Amy brings up her random new boyfriend, wanting to know if she can bring him to the party, and Liz is like, "Sure, whatever." Liz thinks that it doesn't matter who's invited to the party, as long as they don't actually show up for it!
Jessica and Elizabeth walk home. Jess grumbles about the party and the baby-sitter, and Liz acts self-righteous ("We shouldn't have planned a party without permission!"). Liz isn't happy about the baby-sitter but hopes that she'll at least be the grandmotherly type. They go inside, only to find Steven and a gray-haired lady standing there glaring at eachother. She doesn't look very much like the grandmotherly type.
The lady (May Brown) snaps, "It's about time you two got home!" and Jess is like, "Calm down, lady, we just got out of school twenty minutes ago." May accepts this, but then gets all pissed because Liz and Jess just look too much alike. She suggests wearing nametags ... making Steven (and me) laugh. Jess is all, "I'm not wearing a nametag!" Jessica tells May she can distinguish the twins by their hair (Jessica's loose waves vs. Liz's barrettes and ponytails).
Jess goes to get a cookie out of the cookie jar. May tells her no, that it's bad nutrition. Jess argues that her mother always lets her have a cookie, but May's all, "Not while I'M in charge!" and makes Jess drinks a glass of juice instead. We get a description of May's outfit, which consists of a "straight brown skirt, a white blouse, and sturdy brown shoes" (that remind snobby Elizabeth of bowling shoes).
At the refrigerator, Jess notices a list of "house rules" posted up. Rules being a foreign concept to Jess, she demands to know what the list means. May is like, "I want order!" and tells the kids to look over her list of rules. They do so, complaining brattily. May gives them all juice, and Jess gulps hers down and asks for more. May tells her to drink a glass of water instead. Steven makes a snarky comment -- then May loses her temper and flat-out tells the Wakefield kids what brats they are! She tells them they have no manners. Go, May! Jessica sasses, "We're going to learn manners from YOU?" and May makes her go to her room. So all THREE kids go to Jess's room to complain about May and plan some obnoxious plot to drive her away.
Dinnertime ... May summons the kids downstairs with a whistle! She's Captain Von Trapp! She also makes them wash their hands and says that she doesn't want any germs at the table. Steven whispers that May is a germ.
Dinner consists of chicken cacciatore, spinach, and broccoli casserole. That sounds good! The kids eat the chicken, but complain about the vegetables. Are they six? Jessica asks for salad instead (news flash, Jess: salad is vegetables) and tells May that the spinach and broccoli will make her sick. May is all, "One more word out of you, Elizabeth, and you can wash all the dishes tonight" (Jess doesn't bother correcting her).
Steven pretends that he smells something burning, and May doesn't believe him but goes to look just in case. Steven throws his food out the window. But when Liz and Jess try to do the same, Mean Old May catches them and yells at them! She yells at them all through dinner! She makes them clean their plates, and hints that they'll have to go on a two-mile walk after dinner.
That night, the kids are able to get away from May long enough to work on their garage sale. They come inside just in time to hear May screaming that her hair is purple! Jessica the monster put some hair dye in May's shampoo. All the kids deny involvement, though, and May tells them that she'll deal with them later. Then May discovers that her clothes are missing. She's not naked, but she's stuck in her robe! Again, the Wakefield kids deny involvement -- and when May stomps off to look some more, Jess grabs May's clothes from her mess of a room and runs them back to May's bed. Jess is like, "Here they are ... maybe you're getting senile?" and May "Hmmphs!" and slams her door. Later, she tries to make the kids apologize, but once more they act like brats ... and once more, May tells them they have bad parents. And since it's obvious that Ned and Alice never punish their kids -- May decides that SHE will! She assigns them all chores; the Wakefields gripe and groan.
But it's not enough to keep them from playing dirty tricks. That night, they set all the alarm clocks for 3:45 in the morning (they also set them to hard rock stations, and remove the 'off-on' button). May strikes me as someone who would set her own alarm, but whatever. Maybe she brought her own clock and didn't bother to check the Wakefields'. The next morning, May looks tired from being woke up, but she seems to be in a good mood. She's dumb enough to take up Steven on his offer to make coffee. He makes it, alright -- with his own special recipe that includes garlic powder, bay leaves, cayenne, and tabasco sauce. May takes a sip and reacts "comically" with a red face and watery eyes. She runs away to the bathroom to throw up or whatever. She comes back and calls the Wakefield kids monsters! Steven tries to reason that they just don't want a baby-sitter, and May's like, "I'm not going anywhere!" She takes away their phone priveleges ... which hits Jessica the hardest, so Jess runs upstairs to complain about how unfair May is.
That afternoon, it's time for their little garage sale. Liz hurries home to get things ready. May is there in the kitchen and says, "Hello... where's Elizabeth?" Liz responds that she IS Elizabeth. May is all, "Honestly, I don't know why you two have to look so much alike!" May seems seriously annoyed by this, but Liz says that she can't help it. May asks Liz if she's ready for the sale, and doesn't believe Liz when she says yes. May is so mean that St. Elizabeth "takes a tone" with her! May lectures Liz some more, then leaves the house to get some groceries. Liz yells at the door, "Don't hurry!" She tries to grab a cookie from the jar to ease her stress ... only to find a note in the cookie jar. It reads, No cookies between meals. Augghh!
At least Liz has her garage sale to keep her mind off of May. Liz sells some stuff; then Amy comes by with her random boyfriend. Rob. Rob is Kirk Anderson-style obnoxious, and Amy just giggles and bats her eyes. Rob even likes Johnny Gordon & the Waves (Betsy Gordon's stupid brother's band) who are a notoriously horrible band! Liz can't stand him, and she doesn't understand Amy's behavior. But Rob and Amy don't stick around for very long...
Jess and Steven come to help out with the garage sale. It's not going very well, so they're all bummed. May comes home and tells Steven to help her put away groceries. Then Liz goes to make lemonade, leaving Jess to run the sale by herself. You know this will end well...
A scruffy man comes and wants to look around in some boxes (boxes that Alice specified earlier were no-no's). Liz had covered up the boxes with blankets, but Jess tells the man it's okay to look. He starts to browse ... Jess daydreams about ways to get May out of the house ... the man comes over with a glass container that holds a carved wooden rose. He offers Jessica $75 for the rose, and Jess -- who suddenly seems determined that she'll be able to get May to drive somewhere far, far away so she can have her party -- thinks of all the food that $75 could buy for her shindig. She sells the man the rose! Liz comes back outside with the lemonade, and Jess is all, "Guess what!" Jess tells Liz about the man, and a horrified Liz replies that Jessica just sold their great-great-great grandmother's carved wooden rose ... one of Alice Wakefield's favorite things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11bruce1!!!
Jess and Liz unsuccessfully chase after the car of the scruffy man. They come home and share the bad news with Steven. There's a little blurb about Swedish Alice Larson from the Wakefield legacy books (I wonder if a diligent ghost-writer penned this... or maybe the same ghost-writer?). Jess wonders, if the rose was so important to Alice, why did she store it out in the garage in some box? She has a point. Liz has some answer about how Alice was afraid the rose would break. Liz lectures Jess. Steven defends her, but Jess doesn't really care -- she's too busy thinking about her new plan to get May out of the house! It's something she saw on Days of Turmoil, so it's obviously foolproof. She shares it with Steven, and he agrees to give the plan a shot (Liz is too busy trying to figure out how to get the rose back).
With just a couple of nights left until the party, we get some brief scenes of May yelling at Liz, Jess flirting with Aaron, and Liz trying to find the rose. Oh, and there's a little bit where Brooke Dennis worries about her rock star mom (which is foreshadowing for the next book). And more of Amy's obnoxious boyfriend. Finally it's the day of the party! Liz is still bummed because she hasn't been able to find Alice's rose. Jess convinces her not to worry, and they go upstairs to pick out clothes for their secret bash! Jess wants to wear Liz's pink blouse with the "thin white lines" on it (um, ghostwriter, the word is stripes).
Four-o-clock rolls around ... it's time to put the plan into action. May is in the kitchen; Liz and Jess go to the living room, where they hang around playing innocent. In walks Steven (the star of their plan). He sullenly storms over to the copper-colored refrigerator. His shoes are covered with mud, and May insists that he take them off. Steven throws them at the wall! May's all, "Don't throw things in the house!" and Steven's all, "It's MY house!" They continue their showdown -- Steven pulls out some french fries out of the freezer and goes to microwave them. May unplugs the microwave. And then Steven throws a fit, "I'm sick of it! I try and try, and it's never good enough for you!" he rants. He throws the bag of fries on the floor and storms upstairs! Jess and Liz secretly smile at eachother because their plan is working.
May sadly picks up the french fries from the floor. Steven comes back downstairs with a bag and pretends to run away. May looks out the window after him and worries, but Jess and Liz are all, "Oh he'll be back." At dinner, they tell some lie about a time that Steven supposedly ran away to Los Angeles. May freaks out. But then Steven calls and pretends to be at a friend's house in Palilla Canyon (which is supposedly a ways away). May swallows this, takes down directions, and runs out to rescue Steven. She tells the twins not to let any strangers in, and Jess is like, "We won't" (and then to Liz, "We're only letting in friends!")
With poor sucker May out of their hair, the twins and Steven can FINALLY party! Steven comes back from the grocery store, where he'd been hiding out while pretending to be at Palilla Canyon. He also picked up some food with the wooden rose money. The kids set out their food and brag about how awesome they are. Steven gave May bad directions ... so they assume that she'll be gone for hours. I hope when May inevitably DOES come back that she makes them pay for her gas! The kids finish putting out their food, and party guests start showing up ... Lila's first, followed by a crowd of Steven's friends.
At first the party's all fun and games and stuff, though Amy's boyfriend Rob is there and acts super obnoxious. Amy confesses to Liz that she doesn't really like Rob ... she just wanted a boyfriend because Liz has Todd. Liz assures Amy that they'll always be BFF. Awww. Anyway Janet Howell approves of the party and that's all that matters to Jess. The Wakefields DO have a close call when May phones. May's two hours away and worried about Steven. Liz feels guilty, but Jess assures both May and Liz that everything's cool.
It doesn't stay cool for long! Right about this time, the party (predictably) begins to spiral out of control. The place is crowded with kids, who blare loud music and knock down Ned and Alice's lamp. Liz and Jess and Steven try to calm things down, but nobody listens -- everyone else is having too much fun!<>
The Wakefields go outside, only to see that their pool has become a mess of food and garbage and other debris. Steven tries to clean it ... but gets pushed in! HA! Steven trudges inside to change, all, "V-v-very funny"-ish ... Liz hears everyone laugh at him and feels sad.
Meanwhile, Jess gets her kiss from Aaron and feels all "tingly inside", but the moment is ruined when a slab of bologna falls down from the ceiling and hits her cheek. FOOD FIGHT! Lila teases Jess about the bologna and then says that she has to go home. Most of the rest of the twins' friends leave, too. Soon it's just the Wakefields, Ken Matthews, Todd, Amy, and a bunch of strange kids. Oh, and Rob. Jess sees Rob try to steal some of her CD's. Ken gets them back for her and tells Rob to get lost. Rob is like, "Fine, this party sucks ... c'mon, Amy!" but Amy is like "No way" because she's really loved Ken all along. Rob leaves. WHat was the point of Rob?
Soon, even Ken and Amy and (useless) Todd have to take off. The twins tell Steven to make his friends go home. All three Wakefields realize that none of them even know who the strange kids are that have taken over their house. They stand around helplessly in the kitchen. The door opens and Steven's all, "The party's over -- go home!" But it's not another rowdy party crasher ... this time, it's May.
Rightfully furious, May goes upstairs to pack her things and get as far away from the Wakefields as she can. Of course, now that they've been caught, the twins and Steven are all remorseful. They beg May to help. She tells them to go away and let her pack. I wish she would have left it at that... but unfortunately, she ends up rescuing the twins and Steven after all. She does this by grabbing her whistle, marching downstairs and telling all the strange partiers that she wants all of them out imMEDiately!
So the Wakefield kids apologize to May. In return, she gives them a speech about how she's not used to teenagers, blah blah. They volunteer to do all the cleaning (how big of them) and May says that maybe they haven't been brought up so poorly after all. Sigh.
The next morning, true to their word, Steven and the twins manage to clean everything up. May comes back from wherever with a brown bag for Elizabeth. Inside the bag, Liz finds ... Alice's wooden rose!! Liz is like "How...what?" and May mentions a fight (that I glossed over) that she had earlier with Liz, when Liz lied about going to the antique store (May just happened to see her that day). For some reason, May took the trouble to get the rose back all by herself. Now Alice will never know.
Speaking of Alice, she and Ned come back from their trip. They ask May about their kids and May says it was nothing she couldn't handle. She doesn't tell about the party. Jess and Liz and Steven give May an Honorary Grandmother certificate before she leaves. How sweet. I think they owe her more, though.
The rest of the book is more foreshadowing for Brooke and her rock-star mom Coco. I wish I could find that one -- it's been awhile since I read about Coco's mean manager...