Sweet Valley Kids Super Special, Trapped in Toyland
Merry Christmas! Here's another holiday one for you -- young Liz and Jess get locked in a store and have to take on a bumbling villain! Will they outsmart him?
Chapter One: It's Christmas Eve, and those wacky Wakefields have decided to spend the day perusing a massive eight-story department store called Evelyn's. They don't seem to have much of a reason for going. Except that Liz and Jess want to buy their mother a Very Special Christmas present. They've already made an illustrated story for Steven, and some crappy construction paper picture frame for Ned. But for some reason, they want to spend actual money on Alice. They've been saving their allowance for "weeks and weeks." Between them, they have a whopping $15.63. All their seven-year-old friends have been raving about Evelyn's, and Liz and Jess just know that they'll find the perfect gift for Alice there.
They get to the store (which is all the way near L.A.) and it's all giant and magical and decked out for Christmas. Steven spots the toy department, which sounds like a mini FAO Shwarz. He and the twins run over. Ned and Alice follow, but only long enough to tell their kids to stay in the toy department until they're ready to go home. Then they go off and leave the kids. Another example of fine parenting from Ned and Alice! Steven and the twins don't mind being left alone, though. They start climbing all over this life-size car. Steven picks up the price tag and is like, "Look at the price on this thing!" A tall balding man sees them and runs over, looking furious. That's the end of this chapter. Ooh, suspenseful...
Chapter Two: The bald guy's name is Mr. Fegato. He yells at Steven to put the price tag down. Steven obliges, all "Who are you?" Mr. Fegato explains that he's the store manager. He yells at the kids some more and tells them not to touch. Instead of saying "Yes, sir" or acting like polite children, Liz just whispers loudly to Jess that Mr. Fegato has no Christmas spirit. Mr. Fegato glares at her -- but then he's distracted by some report on his walkie-talkie about an alleged robbery. He doesn't think it's real, but he runs off to check it out anyway. The kids talk about what a nutjob he is.
Steven, who understandably isn't much of a baby-sitter (at all of 9) ditches his sisters to go look at bicycles. Liz and Jess wander off to look at dolls. They look at games, skates, and all kinds of other fun stuff. They love everything except for the Brenda toys. The ghostwriter helpfully tells us that, Brenda is that big pink rhino who has her own kids' show on TV. Brenda IS? Who edits this crapola? She sounds like even more of a Barney rip-off than Rigby the Rhino from that stupid episode of Full House. The only reason I even mentioned her is because she actually comes back later on in this book.
Liz and Jess brattily RUN down the Brenda aisle. Then they walk like little ladies past some sports toys and bump into their parents, who are suddenly back in the toy department. Alice asks them if they're having fun. Liz says yes, but adds that she wants to leave the toy department to go shopping for something else. At first, Ned is like, "No! We're only here to look!" But Liz tugs on his hand to remind him of the Very Special Present. Ned and Alice give the twins permission to go shopping with Steven (never mind that he's already ditched his sisters once). They make some plan to meet in an hour, and then Ned and Alice abandon all three kids and run off to housewares.
Chapter Three: Steven would rather play video games than baby-sit. He urges his sisters to hurry up and buy Alice her gift. But Liz and Jess aren't so keen on hurrying. They'd rather ride the elevator up and down all eight floors and stop at each one. Steven groans and complains, but agrees to this plan. They all ride past a hair salon and Steven suggests shampoo for Alice. Hee. Liz and Jess are like, "No way." Liz and Jess turn down more Steven suggestions (including salt-and-pepper shakers, place mats, and some other stuff). They contemplate buying some fancy spices from the food department. Nope. Finally they end up in accessories. Steven REALLY wants to get back to his video games. He pushes for the twins to buy Alice this red-and-blue scarf. They almost bend ... but Jess wants to check out the second floor to make sure they've covered EVERYTHING before making a final decision. Steven's like, "Fine, whatever, just HURRY!"
On the second floor, the twins find a jewelry box, which is supposedly the perfect gift for Alice. Then they find a saleswoman ... who tells them that the jewelry box costs thirty-two dollars. Uh-oh! Too much money! Liz sadly tells the saleswoman that the box is too expensive. I'm surprised she doesn't give it to her anyway, but instead the saleswoman's just like, "Sorry, better luck next time." The twins and Steven walk away from the jewelry box. Liz is ready to buy Alice the scarf after all. But Jess suddenly hates the idea, and wants to buy some tacky-sounding feathered slippers instead. Liz and Jess fight over the scarf and slippers. At this point, Steven has had enough! He ditches his sisters for the second time that night. He goes to get some ice cream, promising to "be right back."
Liz and Jess watch Steven leave, then go right back to their argument. Before they can decide which present to get, this man in a pink baseball cap runs past and shoves Jessica! Jess is like, "Ow, that hurt!" But she feels even worse when she notices that her purse is missing -- the purse with all the money! Now they can't buy Alice ANYTHING!
Chapter Four: Liz promises Jess that they'll find her purse. But first she thinks they should catch up with Steven. It's almost time to meet their parents, and Liz thinks it would be better if they were all together. Jess stomps her foot and says she's not going anywhere until they buy Alice her present! Liz points out that they don't have any money. Jess suggests re-tracing their steps until they find her purse. Liz thinks this is a good idea. Off go the twins.
They run all around the store, looking for Jessica's purse. No one seems to mind that they're completely unsupervised. Jess is crawling around on the floor when a saleswoman steps on her hand. The saleswoman suggests that they check the lost-and-found for Jess's purse. The twins find a door marked CUSTOMER SERVICE. They knock, and a mean voice calls for them to come in. It's Mr. Fegato! He's sitting at his desk, with a big pile of half-opened Christmas presents nearby on the floor.
Liz and Jess watch as Mr. Fegato, who's like "Whattya want?" opens up another present and tosses it onto the floor. Jess asks him, "Don't you want your presents?" Mr. Fegato grunts, "They're not for me, they're for the store. Nobody loves me!" Jess gets the creeps and wants to leave. But first Liz has to tell Mr. Fegato about Jess's missing purse. He makes a half-hearted promise to keep an eye out for it. The twins leave. Both of them agree on what a "meanie" Mr. Fegato is.
They suddenly realize that they're WAY late meeting their parents. They run all around the store again. But there's no trace of Ned and Alice OR Steven! Jess remembers one time when Alice told her to stay in one place if she got lost. So the twins sit and wait ... and wait ... until they're tired and hungry. They happen to be in the furniture department, near a "fluffy feathered bed." They're so very lost and tired that they both climb into the bed. Absolutely no one seems them, and the twins fall asleep. Jess wakes up to find Liz shaking her, crying that "Something terrible has happened!"
Chapter Five: Jess is like, "Wha? What happened? It's dark in here!" Liz tells Jess that she thinks they might be locked in the store! Liz and Jess run around the big, scary store, which is now all dark except for the Christmas lights. They're pretty sure they're on their own when they notice that the escalators are still. Just like stairs! Liz and Jess run down an escalator and try to open the big, glass front door. Yup ... locked in. Liz suggests calling for help, and Jess is like, "HELP!" Liz clarifies that she means on the phone, and Jess is like, "Oh, okay." The twins are momentarily stumped when they remember that they don't have any money to use the pay phones. But Liz points out that it's an emergency, and they don't need money to call 911.
So she picks up a phone and dials. An operator answers. Liz explains her predicament, and the 911 operator ... laughs. The operator's like, "I get it, you're locked in the store on Christmas Eve. Shop til you drop, lolz!!" Liz hangs up the phone with disgust. Nice one, ghostwriter, what if some kid reads this and is discouraged from calling 911 forever? Or what if a kid decides to prank call 911 and pretend to be locked in a store? Anyway, Liz then tries to call her house collect, but nobody answers. The twins look at eachother and think about how scared they are.
Chapter Six: Until the next page. Then, suddenly, Liz and Jess realize how COOL it is to have the store all to themselves! They run all the way up to the food court, where they make giant ice cream sundaes for dinner ... with cookies for dessert! They're all giggles and smiles, until Jess brings up Christmas. Then Liz starts to cry. Both twins are sad to realize that this will be the first Christmas Eve where they won't hear Ned read The Night Before Christmas. (Continuity?) They think sadly about how much they miss their family ... even Steven. They eventually cheer up, but then all of a sudden the Christmas lights go out! Now everything's pitch black!
Chapter Seven: Alas, it's nothing to worry about, just a timer. Jess even giggles as she remembers that the lights at Lila's mansion do the same trick! Liz and Jess go back to having fun in the store. They go hog-wild playing dress-up in the clothes department. Then they go all-out at the makeup counter. They're on their way to wreak havoc in yet another section when they pass Mr. Fegato's office. They casually go inside and straighten up the presents all over his floor.
Liz spots a letter on Mr. Fegato's desk. Since she's nosy even at the age of seven, she opens the letter (justifying her nosiness by telling Jess that it might have a phone number for Mr. Fegato that they could call so he could come get them). Liz doesn't find a phone number, but she DOES find a letter from Mr. Fegato's long-lost daughter Maggie. Liz and Jess are SHOCKED to find out that that grinch Mr. Fegato really loves Christmas! He's just crabby because he's lonely. Liz saints how sorry for him she feels, but she's disrupted by the sound of loud music! And loud crashing! Is it a ghost? That's what Liz seems to think.
Chapter Eight: The twins hold their breath, but they don't hear anything else. They start to feel sorry for themselves again when they realize that no one will come to the store on Christmas Day. So they're going to be stuck inside for even longer than they thought. The twins decide that the toy department will make them feel better. They run down and have a blast playing with Steven's video games, and racing around in those life-size cars...
At some point, they decide they're hungry again, so Liz and Jess run back up to the food court for some ice cream. This time, the counter's all sticky and messy. Liz and Jess KNOW that they didn't leave it so messy -- and they're pretty sure that ghosts don't eat. They finally realize that ... they're not alone. Someone must be in the store with them!
Chapter Nine: Liz and Jess decide to find the Someone Else before he finds them. They follow a trail of candy wrappers, upside-down chairs, etc. (whoever's in the store with them is a giant slob). Finally, Liz and Jess are in the stereo section, where they see ... the man with the pink baseball cap. He's trying to steal CD players, but since he's a bumbling villain, he's not very good at it. He keeps crashing into things and cursing. (Or saying "Drat!" -- same difference.) The twins think the man might be dangerous, and think that maybe they'd be better off hidden. But instead of tiptoeing, they RUN away from the stereo section. Jess falls, and Liz tries to help her up, but it's too late. The thief has seen them, and how he's running toward them. UH-OH!
Chapter Ten: The twins hightail it out of there ... with the thief hot on their heels, yelling that they WON'T get away! Liz and Jess make it to the toy department and duck into a big yellow tube. The thief sees them, peers into the tube, laughs a sinister laugh, and storms away. Liz and Jess wonder, WTF? The thief comes back with a butterfly net and starts to poke at the twins, making them back away ... until Jess backs right out of the tube. The thief swoops down and grabs her!
He makes a grab for Liz. She manages to slip past him. She runs to a giant playhouse and decides to hide there instead. The thief is like, "Hmm, good idea" and throws Jess in the playhouse with Liz. He traps the twins inside by shoving a giant box up against the door. Jess glares at him through the peephole -- and notices her purse hanging around his neck! It's the same guy who pushed her earlier. Jess fumes, "That's MY purse!" and the thief is like, "Muahahahaha! It makes a nice necklace!" He likes it because it goes with his pretty pink hat. Jess yells that the money in the purse was for a Christmas present for their mom. The thief's like, "Boo hoo hoo, cry me a river!" The thief stomps away, thinking that Jess and Liz are out of his hair, and goes to steal some more stuff. The twins grumble about what a meanie he is.
The twins then decide that maybe they should try to get out of the playhouse. They don't think the windows will be big enough. But somehow, they manage to slip out through the chimney. Whatever. Once they're freed, Liz and Jess realize that it's up to them to catch the thief before he causes any further trouble...
Chapter Eleven: So they come up with some slapsticky plan, and of course the dumb thief falls right into their trap. This chapter just might be the lowest point ever in any Sweet Valley book. First Liz and Jess make some staticky noises with walkie-talkies ... the thief bumbles along, trying to follow the static. He wanders to the toy department, slips on some marbles and screams "AUGGGGH!" as he falls "bottom first" into a big pile of slime. Liz and Jess squirt chocolate syrup in his eyes. The thief is like, "Stop! I can't see a blasted thing!" But Liz and Jess aren't done. They tie the thief up -- with licorice rope -- and for their big finale, they turn up the stereo and blast Brenda songs. Remember? The rhino? Her name might as well be Barnette, and I don't doubt the song is something very similar to "I love you, you love me..." Whatever it is, the thief can't stand it, and demands for Liz and Jess to shut it off. He hates that stupid rhino! Jess is like, "In your dreams!" and the twins give eachother a high five. They did it! They caught the thief!
Chapter Twelve: Liz and Jess aren't sure what to do next, though. Liz suggests that she "guard" the thief, while Jess calls the police and then their parents. Jess snatches her purse from the thief's neck and runs to the phone. First she calls 911. Jess is like, "Guess what? I caught a thief!" The operator asks her how old she is, and says that Jess is up past her bedtime. Jess is like, "Well, yeah, but I've been busy catching a thief! Send the police!" The operator is like, "Jessica, you are a very naughty girl." She orders Jess to stop tying up the line, wishes her a happy holiday, and hangs up. Why does this ghostwriter hate 911 operators? Jess sighs and tries to call her parents, but nobody answers. Jess really doesn't know what to do now. So she pulls the fire alarm. This time, her plan backfires. Sprinklers go off all over the place -- the water washes all the chocolate from the thief's eyes and softens his licorice rope! The thief escapes! But that's not all ...he grabs Elizabeth! Jess screams for him to put Liz down, but the thief just says, "Back off, or I'll send your sister to the North Pole!" That doesn't even make any sense, but it's a serious enough threat to Jess that she backs off.
Chapter Thirteen: Jess goes to some corner of the toy department to think of a new plan. Meanwhile, the thief resumes his stealing. He pushes his cart around with one hand, and keeps the other hand firmly on his new hostage ... Elizabeth. Jess thinks that he just might get away -- with Liz! -- but suddenly, she hears sleighbells and a jolly, "Ho, ho, ho!" It's just the distraction Jess was looking for. As if this book wasn't ridiculous enough ... Jess chooses that moment to use a slingshot to bean the thief in the head with -- (oh, for the love of it)... a Brenda action figure. The thief falls to the ground.
Liz runs over to hug Jess, and that's when the lights come on. Finally, the twins are rescued! Everyone is there ... Ned and Alice, Steven, firemen, policemen, Mr. Fegato. A policeman (referring to the chocolate and licorice) remarks that the thief has "sticky fingers." Who WROTE this? The thief calls Liz and Jess "menaces" and a cop sneers, "Tell that to the judge" and leads him away.
After the thief is gone, Steven apologizes to the twins for leaving them, Ned and Alice apologize for not answering their phone ... Mr. Fegato made them leave the store ... they were with the LAPD ... blah blah. It doesn't matter. Alice is just glad that everything's all right now. But as soon as she says that, she hears Mr. Fegato wail that the toy department is RUINED!
Chapter Fourteen The last chapter ties up all the loose ends of this masterpiece. Mr. Fegato wants to arrest the twins. Until they show him the letter from his daughter. Then his heart grows two sizes and he offers them anything they want from his store as a thank-you. Liz and Jess pick -- what else? -- the jewelry box for Alice. Finally, Jess goes looking for the Santa, the one that distracted the thief. She's disappointed to find a toy Santa (she was hoping it was the real one) but Liz and Jess do have to wonder how it fell of the shelf to make its noise at just the right time. They chalk it up to Christmas magic. Isn't that sweet. That's the end of this utter classic (which should really be called Trapped in Evelyn's...)
Chapter One: It's Christmas Eve, and those wacky Wakefields have decided to spend the day perusing a massive eight-story department store called Evelyn's. They don't seem to have much of a reason for going. Except that Liz and Jess want to buy their mother a Very Special Christmas present. They've already made an illustrated story for Steven, and some crappy construction paper picture frame for Ned. But for some reason, they want to spend actual money on Alice. They've been saving their allowance for "weeks and weeks." Between them, they have a whopping $15.63. All their seven-year-old friends have been raving about Evelyn's, and Liz and Jess just know that they'll find the perfect gift for Alice there.
They get to the store (which is all the way near L.A.) and it's all giant and magical and decked out for Christmas. Steven spots the toy department, which sounds like a mini FAO Shwarz. He and the twins run over. Ned and Alice follow, but only long enough to tell their kids to stay in the toy department until they're ready to go home. Then they go off and leave the kids. Another example of fine parenting from Ned and Alice! Steven and the twins don't mind being left alone, though. They start climbing all over this life-size car. Steven picks up the price tag and is like, "Look at the price on this thing!" A tall balding man sees them and runs over, looking furious. That's the end of this chapter. Ooh, suspenseful...
Chapter Two: The bald guy's name is Mr. Fegato. He yells at Steven to put the price tag down. Steven obliges, all "Who are you?" Mr. Fegato explains that he's the store manager. He yells at the kids some more and tells them not to touch. Instead of saying "Yes, sir" or acting like polite children, Liz just whispers loudly to Jess that Mr. Fegato has no Christmas spirit. Mr. Fegato glares at her -- but then he's distracted by some report on his walkie-talkie about an alleged robbery. He doesn't think it's real, but he runs off to check it out anyway. The kids talk about what a nutjob he is.
Steven, who understandably isn't much of a baby-sitter (at all of 9) ditches his sisters to go look at bicycles. Liz and Jess wander off to look at dolls. They look at games, skates, and all kinds of other fun stuff. They love everything except for the Brenda toys. The ghostwriter helpfully tells us that, Brenda is that big pink rhino who has her own kids' show on TV. Brenda IS? Who edits this crapola? She sounds like even more of a Barney rip-off than Rigby the Rhino from that stupid episode of Full House. The only reason I even mentioned her is because she actually comes back later on in this book.
Liz and Jess brattily RUN down the Brenda aisle. Then they walk like little ladies past some sports toys and bump into their parents, who are suddenly back in the toy department. Alice asks them if they're having fun. Liz says yes, but adds that she wants to leave the toy department to go shopping for something else. At first, Ned is like, "No! We're only here to look!" But Liz tugs on his hand to remind him of the Very Special Present. Ned and Alice give the twins permission to go shopping with Steven (never mind that he's already ditched his sisters once). They make some plan to meet in an hour, and then Ned and Alice abandon all three kids and run off to housewares.
Chapter Three: Steven would rather play video games than baby-sit. He urges his sisters to hurry up and buy Alice her gift. But Liz and Jess aren't so keen on hurrying. They'd rather ride the elevator up and down all eight floors and stop at each one. Steven groans and complains, but agrees to this plan. They all ride past a hair salon and Steven suggests shampoo for Alice. Hee. Liz and Jess are like, "No way." Liz and Jess turn down more Steven suggestions (including salt-and-pepper shakers, place mats, and some other stuff). They contemplate buying some fancy spices from the food department. Nope. Finally they end up in accessories. Steven REALLY wants to get back to his video games. He pushes for the twins to buy Alice this red-and-blue scarf. They almost bend ... but Jess wants to check out the second floor to make sure they've covered EVERYTHING before making a final decision. Steven's like, "Fine, whatever, just HURRY!"
On the second floor, the twins find a jewelry box, which is supposedly the perfect gift for Alice. Then they find a saleswoman ... who tells them that the jewelry box costs thirty-two dollars. Uh-oh! Too much money! Liz sadly tells the saleswoman that the box is too expensive. I'm surprised she doesn't give it to her anyway, but instead the saleswoman's just like, "Sorry, better luck next time." The twins and Steven walk away from the jewelry box. Liz is ready to buy Alice the scarf after all. But Jess suddenly hates the idea, and wants to buy some tacky-sounding feathered slippers instead. Liz and Jess fight over the scarf and slippers. At this point, Steven has had enough! He ditches his sisters for the second time that night. He goes to get some ice cream, promising to "be right back."
Liz and Jess watch Steven leave, then go right back to their argument. Before they can decide which present to get, this man in a pink baseball cap runs past and shoves Jessica! Jess is like, "Ow, that hurt!" But she feels even worse when she notices that her purse is missing -- the purse with all the money! Now they can't buy Alice ANYTHING!
Chapter Four: Liz promises Jess that they'll find her purse. But first she thinks they should catch up with Steven. It's almost time to meet their parents, and Liz thinks it would be better if they were all together. Jess stomps her foot and says she's not going anywhere until they buy Alice her present! Liz points out that they don't have any money. Jess suggests re-tracing their steps until they find her purse. Liz thinks this is a good idea. Off go the twins.
They run all around the store, looking for Jessica's purse. No one seems to mind that they're completely unsupervised. Jess is crawling around on the floor when a saleswoman steps on her hand. The saleswoman suggests that they check the lost-and-found for Jess's purse. The twins find a door marked CUSTOMER SERVICE. They knock, and a mean voice calls for them to come in. It's Mr. Fegato! He's sitting at his desk, with a big pile of half-opened Christmas presents nearby on the floor.
Liz and Jess watch as Mr. Fegato, who's like "Whattya want?" opens up another present and tosses it onto the floor. Jess asks him, "Don't you want your presents?" Mr. Fegato grunts, "They're not for me, they're for the store. Nobody loves me!" Jess gets the creeps and wants to leave. But first Liz has to tell Mr. Fegato about Jess's missing purse. He makes a half-hearted promise to keep an eye out for it. The twins leave. Both of them agree on what a "meanie" Mr. Fegato is.
They suddenly realize that they're WAY late meeting their parents. They run all around the store again. But there's no trace of Ned and Alice OR Steven! Jess remembers one time when Alice told her to stay in one place if she got lost. So the twins sit and wait ... and wait ... until they're tired and hungry. They happen to be in the furniture department, near a "fluffy feathered bed." They're so very lost and tired that they both climb into the bed. Absolutely no one seems them, and the twins fall asleep. Jess wakes up to find Liz shaking her, crying that "Something terrible has happened!"
Chapter Five: Jess is like, "Wha? What happened? It's dark in here!" Liz tells Jess that she thinks they might be locked in the store! Liz and Jess run around the big, scary store, which is now all dark except for the Christmas lights. They're pretty sure they're on their own when they notice that the escalators are still. Just like stairs! Liz and Jess run down an escalator and try to open the big, glass front door. Yup ... locked in. Liz suggests calling for help, and Jess is like, "HELP!" Liz clarifies that she means on the phone, and Jess is like, "Oh, okay." The twins are momentarily stumped when they remember that they don't have any money to use the pay phones. But Liz points out that it's an emergency, and they don't need money to call 911.
So she picks up a phone and dials. An operator answers. Liz explains her predicament, and the 911 operator ... laughs. The operator's like, "I get it, you're locked in the store on Christmas Eve. Shop til you drop, lolz!!" Liz hangs up the phone with disgust. Nice one, ghostwriter, what if some kid reads this and is discouraged from calling 911 forever? Or what if a kid decides to prank call 911 and pretend to be locked in a store? Anyway, Liz then tries to call her house collect, but nobody answers. The twins look at eachother and think about how scared they are.
Chapter Six: Until the next page. Then, suddenly, Liz and Jess realize how COOL it is to have the store all to themselves! They run all the way up to the food court, where they make giant ice cream sundaes for dinner ... with cookies for dessert! They're all giggles and smiles, until Jess brings up Christmas. Then Liz starts to cry. Both twins are sad to realize that this will be the first Christmas Eve where they won't hear Ned read The Night Before Christmas. (Continuity?) They think sadly about how much they miss their family ... even Steven. They eventually cheer up, but then all of a sudden the Christmas lights go out! Now everything's pitch black!
Chapter Seven: Alas, it's nothing to worry about, just a timer. Jess even giggles as she remembers that the lights at Lila's mansion do the same trick! Liz and Jess go back to having fun in the store. They go hog-wild playing dress-up in the clothes department. Then they go all-out at the makeup counter. They're on their way to wreak havoc in yet another section when they pass Mr. Fegato's office. They casually go inside and straighten up the presents all over his floor.
Liz spots a letter on Mr. Fegato's desk. Since she's nosy even at the age of seven, she opens the letter (justifying her nosiness by telling Jess that it might have a phone number for Mr. Fegato that they could call so he could come get them). Liz doesn't find a phone number, but she DOES find a letter from Mr. Fegato's long-lost daughter Maggie. Liz and Jess are SHOCKED to find out that that grinch Mr. Fegato really loves Christmas! He's just crabby because he's lonely. Liz saints how sorry for him she feels, but she's disrupted by the sound of loud music! And loud crashing! Is it a ghost? That's what Liz seems to think.
Chapter Eight: The twins hold their breath, but they don't hear anything else. They start to feel sorry for themselves again when they realize that no one will come to the store on Christmas Day. So they're going to be stuck inside for even longer than they thought. The twins decide that the toy department will make them feel better. They run down and have a blast playing with Steven's video games, and racing around in those life-size cars...
At some point, they decide they're hungry again, so Liz and Jess run back up to the food court for some ice cream. This time, the counter's all sticky and messy. Liz and Jess KNOW that they didn't leave it so messy -- and they're pretty sure that ghosts don't eat. They finally realize that ... they're not alone. Someone must be in the store with them!
Chapter Nine: Liz and Jess decide to find the Someone Else before he finds them. They follow a trail of candy wrappers, upside-down chairs, etc. (whoever's in the store with them is a giant slob). Finally, Liz and Jess are in the stereo section, where they see ... the man with the pink baseball cap. He's trying to steal CD players, but since he's a bumbling villain, he's not very good at it. He keeps crashing into things and cursing. (Or saying "Drat!" -- same difference.) The twins think the man might be dangerous, and think that maybe they'd be better off hidden. But instead of tiptoeing, they RUN away from the stereo section. Jess falls, and Liz tries to help her up, but it's too late. The thief has seen them, and how he's running toward them. UH-OH!
Chapter Ten: The twins hightail it out of there ... with the thief hot on their heels, yelling that they WON'T get away! Liz and Jess make it to the toy department and duck into a big yellow tube. The thief sees them, peers into the tube, laughs a sinister laugh, and storms away. Liz and Jess wonder, WTF? The thief comes back with a butterfly net and starts to poke at the twins, making them back away ... until Jess backs right out of the tube. The thief swoops down and grabs her!
He makes a grab for Liz. She manages to slip past him. She runs to a giant playhouse and decides to hide there instead. The thief is like, "Hmm, good idea" and throws Jess in the playhouse with Liz. He traps the twins inside by shoving a giant box up against the door. Jess glares at him through the peephole -- and notices her purse hanging around his neck! It's the same guy who pushed her earlier. Jess fumes, "That's MY purse!" and the thief is like, "Muahahahaha! It makes a nice necklace!" He likes it because it goes with his pretty pink hat. Jess yells that the money in the purse was for a Christmas present for their mom. The thief's like, "Boo hoo hoo, cry me a river!" The thief stomps away, thinking that Jess and Liz are out of his hair, and goes to steal some more stuff. The twins grumble about what a meanie he is.
The twins then decide that maybe they should try to get out of the playhouse. They don't think the windows will be big enough. But somehow, they manage to slip out through the chimney. Whatever. Once they're freed, Liz and Jess realize that it's up to them to catch the thief before he causes any further trouble...
Chapter Eleven: So they come up with some slapsticky plan, and of course the dumb thief falls right into their trap. This chapter just might be the lowest point ever in any Sweet Valley book. First Liz and Jess make some staticky noises with walkie-talkies ... the thief bumbles along, trying to follow the static. He wanders to the toy department, slips on some marbles and screams "AUGGGGH!" as he falls "bottom first" into a big pile of slime. Liz and Jess squirt chocolate syrup in his eyes. The thief is like, "Stop! I can't see a blasted thing!" But Liz and Jess aren't done. They tie the thief up -- with licorice rope -- and for their big finale, they turn up the stereo and blast Brenda songs. Remember? The rhino? Her name might as well be Barnette, and I don't doubt the song is something very similar to "I love you, you love me..." Whatever it is, the thief can't stand it, and demands for Liz and Jess to shut it off. He hates that stupid rhino! Jess is like, "In your dreams!" and the twins give eachother a high five. They did it! They caught the thief!
Chapter Twelve: Liz and Jess aren't sure what to do next, though. Liz suggests that she "guard" the thief, while Jess calls the police and then their parents. Jess snatches her purse from the thief's neck and runs to the phone. First she calls 911. Jess is like, "Guess what? I caught a thief!" The operator asks her how old she is, and says that Jess is up past her bedtime. Jess is like, "Well, yeah, but I've been busy catching a thief! Send the police!" The operator is like, "Jessica, you are a very naughty girl." She orders Jess to stop tying up the line, wishes her a happy holiday, and hangs up. Why does this ghostwriter hate 911 operators? Jess sighs and tries to call her parents, but nobody answers. Jess really doesn't know what to do now. So she pulls the fire alarm. This time, her plan backfires. Sprinklers go off all over the place -- the water washes all the chocolate from the thief's eyes and softens his licorice rope! The thief escapes! But that's not all ...he grabs Elizabeth! Jess screams for him to put Liz down, but the thief just says, "Back off, or I'll send your sister to the North Pole!" That doesn't even make any sense, but it's a serious enough threat to Jess that she backs off.
Chapter Thirteen: Jess goes to some corner of the toy department to think of a new plan. Meanwhile, the thief resumes his stealing. He pushes his cart around with one hand, and keeps the other hand firmly on his new hostage ... Elizabeth. Jess thinks that he just might get away -- with Liz! -- but suddenly, she hears sleighbells and a jolly, "Ho, ho, ho!" It's just the distraction Jess was looking for. As if this book wasn't ridiculous enough ... Jess chooses that moment to use a slingshot to bean the thief in the head with -- (oh, for the love of it)... a Brenda action figure. The thief falls to the ground.
Liz runs over to hug Jess, and that's when the lights come on. Finally, the twins are rescued! Everyone is there ... Ned and Alice, Steven, firemen, policemen, Mr. Fegato. A policeman (referring to the chocolate and licorice) remarks that the thief has "sticky fingers." Who WROTE this? The thief calls Liz and Jess "menaces" and a cop sneers, "Tell that to the judge" and leads him away.
After the thief is gone, Steven apologizes to the twins for leaving them, Ned and Alice apologize for not answering their phone ... Mr. Fegato made them leave the store ... they were with the LAPD ... blah blah. It doesn't matter. Alice is just glad that everything's all right now. But as soon as she says that, she hears Mr. Fegato wail that the toy department is RUINED!
Chapter Fourteen The last chapter ties up all the loose ends of this masterpiece. Mr. Fegato wants to arrest the twins. Until they show him the letter from his daughter. Then his heart grows two sizes and he offers them anything they want from his store as a thank-you. Liz and Jess pick -- what else? -- the jewelry box for Alice. Finally, Jess goes looking for the Santa, the one that distracted the thief. She's disappointed to find a toy Santa (she was hoping it was the real one) but Liz and Jess do have to wonder how it fell of the shelf to make its noise at just the right time. They chalk it up to Christmas magic. Isn't that sweet. That's the end of this utter classic (which should really be called Trapped in Evelyn's...)