SVH 132: Once Upon A Time (Chateau d' Amour Collection)
Well, a SVH recap, for a change. This is the first SVH one I've done, and as it's actually a three book arc, bear with me, 'kay!
On the back, this collection is described as, 'three riveting books in one.' I don't know if I'd go that far as to say, 'riveting,' but, OK! Also, we have the description, 'Join Jessica and Elizabeth for a summer of royalty and romance in this majestic trilogy of titles.' *Cough!* I think Francine was fast running out of ideas here, so why not rip off a fairy tale to liven up the series, eh wot wot!
Now, these books were released separately, and then put together in the Chateau d' Amour collection afterwards. Chateau d' Amour of course translating to Chateau of Love. How romantically sickly sweet and corny can we get now, Francine! I'm making this point because this cover:
is the trilogy cover, and I will be using this in all three recaps to make them continuous. A crown, handcuffs and pretty pink flowers, and we pretty much have the books summed up on the cover.
Yes, that's right, it's another summer in the glamour filled lives of the Wakefields. Except, on the cover of the original book, they don't look so glamorous, err, at all, really!
Sorry about the size, best I could find courtesy of Amazon. We have the twins going through a gateway (presumably to the Chateau) and looking round in awe. I'm assuming Jess is the one in the white, judging by the length of that dress, and Liz is wearing the granny skirt and sandals with socks. Jess is wearing what I think is a beret, (obviously to show off her thorough understanding of French fashion) and they both have absolutely appalling taste in suitcases. Maybe they were borrowed from Grandma Wakefield. Also, what's with the OMG expression? I know these were the actresses from the TV series, the Daniels twins, but I don't remember them looking THIS bad! It's not like they won't have seen a genuine mansion type place before - need I say MISS LILA FOWLER, HELLO!!! Jess even has the hand on heart pose to prove the OMG face! Anyway, Liz's skirt is starting to really bug me, the way it's co-ordinated with her suitcase, so I'll move onto the ripped off fairytale story.
Liz is packing her suitcase with all the essentials - shampoo, soap and conditioner. She's packing because, as now explained, tomorrow morning she and Jess are going to France for the summer to be au pairs for a royal family. Lila is throwing a going away bash (yes, another party! Hey, didn't Li throw them a similar type party when they went to London for the summer in one of those alternate universes they live in?) so they need to be packed before they go.
Liz finishes packing, and stands double checking everything. She realises she has forgotten a major item in the suitcase - a framed photo of Todd. Liz picks it up tenderly and stands reminiscing about his 'deep, coffee coloured eyes and dark brown curls.' So we have a Todd description before a twins description. Shock, horror! She holds the photo and gets all emo and mopey thinking about the summer ahead without Todd in it. 'Tonight would be the last night that they would get to enjoy the beautiful view [of Millers Point, where Liz is planning on sneaking off to] together. "It's going to be a long summer," she whispered.' Bloody hell, Liz. It's six weeks, not six years. Besides, you survived Vermont, didn't you. Just get another boy to hook up with for the summer (oops, that wasn't a very subtle plot giveaway, was it?) Just as Liz starts deploring the fact Todd can't go for weekend visits (Wtf? To France? I should think not), Jessica bounds in to hopefully liven the first chapter up. She apparently looks, 'glamorous and sexy in a long, deep red cotton skirt with a cream coloured Lycra T-shirt.' Jess moans about being late and Liz thinks fondly how different they are even though they look so, so alike. Yawn. No one will mind if I skip over this particular bit, will they! Jess been listening to French music all summer, and starts singing in really bad French. Hehe, see, cheered up already.
We now get a brief history of why the twins are off to France. Ned had a employment agency as a client, and he oh so casually mentioned the au pair opening at dinner, giving birth to another plot line. Jessica, of course, HAD to get the job as it was for ROYALTY, and, after blagging and dealing, she put together an impressive resume and got the job. BUT! Because she was only sixteen, she needed to take someone with her to share the duties. This of course introduces Liz to the plot. Liz said no, Jess wore her down, trod on her and then got her own way (as usual) and that brings us current. Liz actually thinks to herself, 'why can't I ever say no to my twin?'Good question, Liz, why can't you?
She stops hugging Todd's photo, packs it, and lugs all her bags downstairs. Jess has packed a five piece floral set of luggage (arghh, so you mean those on the cover weren't just bad choice of photography props?) and a dressbag, plus an oversized backpack. Liz, of course, has a backpack and one suitcase. Hmm, I think for six weeks I would need more than one! Liz scolds, Jess shushes her, and off they go to Lila's.
Jessica is thinking how lavish the party is, and how popular she is as everyone in the junior class seems to have turned up. Well, free food, free drink and music at a rich girl's mansion, can't see why it would be turned down. Jessica, however, feels bored and wishes she was already on the plane. Winston tries to liven things up by dressing and speaking in a French accent, and gives Jess a present: a tiny pin with a frog on. Heh! He also has one for Elizabeth, but her and Todd have snuck away from the party (oh-er). Jess thinks again how lucky and popular she is, but she also feels ready for a change. Lila comes up and Jess tells her how she is really looking forward to meeting foreign cute guys. Also, Lila's relationship with Bo Creighton, whoever he may be, is dropping off. Lila is derogatory, but Jess thinks how it's going to be a summer she'll never forget. Jess, you should know by now whenever you say that, it means trouble!
Liz is feeling all melancholy about leaving Sweet Valley and Todd. She's being all lovey dovey with him, trying to hug him and telling him she loves him, but, even though he says it back, he is acting all uncomfortable, and eventually Liz stops prattling to notice something's up, and I don't mean his penis. Todd tells her they need to talk, and they leave the actual party and walk on the Fowler estate grounds. Todd is all worried about the upcoming separation, as he knows long distance relationships are hard to maintain. In other words, Liz, never go on holiday without him, because he'll misconstrue it as moving away. Liz is relieved, instead of being seriously pissed off, as I would be, and tells him it's only a holiday, but then he points out so was the time she had an affair at Camp Echo Mountain (is that another summer book?) with Joey Mason. Liz is silenced, and cries. As usual. Liz swears true love to Todd, but he goes all self sacrificing and tells Liz she should be free to go out with anyone she wants while she's in France. Liz then, finally, gets suspicious, and accuses Todd of wanting to see other girls, not her. Todd doesn't deny it, and tells her they should both be free for the summer. He also tells her he doesn't want to lose her, and they could 'reevaluate their relationship' when she gets back. L-oser, Todd! Liz is rightfully angry, but, instead of smacking his handsome and tanned face, she tells him he can have all the freedom he wants from her, forever, and quietly walks away.Todd calls, she yells, "leave me alone," and runs off. Getting into the Jeep (leaving Jess stranded for a change), she goes to drive off. Todd runs up and tells her he loves her, but she tells him to buggar off, never speak to her again, and drives off, unfortunately not running him over as I think I might have been tempted to do. And there we have the Sweet Valley situation summed up, all ready for the plotline to swing into overdrive.
Next morning, Jess is all anxious to be off. Never mind Liz has just broken up with the love of her life over this job in France, oh no, Jess thinks in her twisted way it's all good Todd showed his true colours because now Elizabeth can move on and hopefully hook up in France with someone else. Which of course was probably going to happen anyway, as usually it doesn't matter whether Liz are Todd are heart2heart or not! And also Todd is less interesting than a caveman. But, never minding that, Jessica starts practicing her French phrases into the mirror and smiling at herself. She's all excited, but classes Elizabeth a 'problem.' Apparently she hasn't stopped crying for a whole five minutes since the party. That's an awful lot of water to waste, hope they have been putting the plants underneath her for watering. Jessica hopes that, 'Elizabeth was feeling better this morning. She didn't want anything to delay their departure to France.' Nice. Going into Liz's room, Liz refuses to get dressed or to talk. *Rolleyes.* Todd is such a jerk off. Jess tries to cheer up Liz by cracking jokes and getting excited about going to Europe, which makes her cry again. Jess comforts Liz and heads back out the room, thinking how she could cheerfully murder Todd. After admiring her outfit, 'chic beige linen pants and a black blazer,' she goes back to Liz, who still hasn't got out of bed. Jess appeals to her sister's base instincts; history and culture and education, but iz still doesn't care. She finally tells Liz that Todd clearly isn't the great guy Liz thought he was if he couldn't handle the separation, which finally perks Liz up. Liz decides she's going to use the summer to put Mr Todd whale-lover-jerk-off Wilkins behind her for once and for all (yeah, right, 1bruce1 knows that doesn't happen) and off they go down to breakfast.
At breakfast, Liz is still depressed but everyone is there, including Steven and Billie the girl, to show the twins off in style. She doesn't tell them about Todd, though, obviously so it's easier for them to hook back up at the end of the arc, and maybe also so we don't have to read about how Steven will punch Todd's lights out, again! Alice is all sad the twins are going (bloody hell, it's only a holiday, and it's not like they've ever gone away before without their parents or anything.) She will probably have to buy a new house before they get back as the old one will disintergrate due to excess cleaning. Liz is expecting Todd will ring, even thought she told him never to speak to her again, to beg forgiveness and ask her back. But he doesn't. She is shocked. She expects him at the airport, no doubt to do a dramatic airport hero scene as seen in Liar Liar and such like, but, he doesn't show. The plane boards, Alice cries and gives them motherly warnings (THEY BLOODY WENT TO LONDON NOT LONG BACK ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and off the twins go onto the plane.
Way too many mentions of Todd in the last two chapters, I might need some coffee to wake myself up.
On the plane, Liz is still dwelling on the fact Todd doesn't love her anymore (even though he said he did, so :-p to you). Jessica's asleep and Liz is thinking how it's all her fault because she broke Todd's trust (once? twice? many times?) even though she still thinks Todd wants another girl and his freedom. OK, Liz, start dealing, please! To distract herself, she pulls The Babysitter's Guide to Children out of her backpack to read. Good grief, didn't she do enough babysitting back in SVT and the early SVH books! I love the non continuity of these books. Besides, what a stupid name for a book, it might as well be Babysitting for Dummies. And I bet there's one of those out there, not to mention on howto.com. I'm also surprised she hasn't got the whole Babysitters Club series in that backpack as well. I digress. Liz reads the book, reminiscing about how badly the counselling experience at Camp echo went (heh, being dubbed 'Dizzy Lizzie' must have really affected her - enough to snog Joey Mason anyway). The book, surprisingly, sends her to sleep, where she has a dream about walking in a field of wildflowers and realises she is lost. The sky goes dark and then suddenly a gorgeous guy, with jet black hair and deep blue eyes rides up on a white stallion and lifts her up on his horse. She hugs him and ride off into the sunset.....Jess then wakes her up and Liz thinks what a ridiculous dream it is, as the only prince she has is already a frog. Lolz!
We now meet two new characters, Louis Landeau and his son, Jacques. They are French (obviously) and are in a cafe on the Boulevard Saint-Germain in Paris. We hear how Louis is a man who likes his money and his women, together, preferably. Louis flirts with a women in the cafe, but Jacques knows that, inside, his father is lonely for the woman he truly loved, Jacques' mother, who died years ago. Jacques hopes his father will fall in love again and be happy. Louis interrupts Jacques' thoughts by having a choking fit at the table, and Jacques thinks how his father may be falling ill again after a bout of pneumonia last Winter, and their constant travelling lifestyle is not good for either of them; they need a place to call home. Jacques can't think of a way to afford settling down though....
The twins' plane lands and Jessica suddenly realises knowing, 'Bonjour, je m'appelle Jessica,' and, 'comment allez-vous?,' isn't enough to get you around in France. Liz, of course, knows what is being said, mostly. Jess is finding it hard to lug all her suitcases along and can't make out the train announcements, getting all confused about which platform they should be on and so on. Liz, of course, being perfectly fluent in French through listening through Ms Dalton's French classes, leads the way. Some funny paragraphs about a man asking Jessica for the time and Jess not understanding him, and Liz being all smug and giving him the answer. Jessica's suitcase suddenly breaks, and Liz refuses to help her, because she is being an angsty bitch over Todd and says it's Jessica's fault for packing way too much stuff, unlike her perfect self. Nice. Jess looks for a cart, but asks a woman instead to play cards with her in the train station, much to Liz's self satisfied amusement. Nothing like some bitchiness to cheer you up. Liz stalks off, leaving Jessica no choice but to follow, struggling. Suddenly, who should appear but (no, not Todd, he did not follow them to France (this time)) Jacques and Louis. They speak near perfect English, and help Jessica carry her bags onto the train. Jacques is also, 'slim, with dark brown hair and smooth, almond shaped eyes. He had a rakish look on his face, and slight stubble darkened his jaw.' In other words, perfect Jessica crush one-book-(or in this case, three)-boyfriend material.
On the train, Liz is angry that Jessica let two strangers help her, but, as Jessica says, she refused to, so she only has herself to blame. Though I'm sure they would have met, anyway, due to Wakefield twin animal magnetism. Liz thinks how, for someone who's supposed to be caring for young children, Jessica hasn't yet showed a very high level of responsibility and maturity. Words don't describe how much I am eye rolling here. She also thinks how she is really going to have to keep an eye on Jess this summer. *shakes head.* Poor Jess. Guess who should then again appear on the train but Jacques and Louis - turns out they are traveling to the same place (now isn't that a coincidence). Louis flirts with the twins, calling them beautiful and so on (gross, how old is he?), and then he introduces himself as Louis Landeau, the duke of Norveaux, and his son and heir, Jacques. Jessica is all impressed (more royalty, wow), and Jessica introduces her and Liz. Liz is oh so not impressed, and tries to figure out where Norveaux actually is, but can't. She goes to ask, but is interrupted by a disturbance on the train.
A woman is shrieking about being placed in second class, instead of first. Turns out she is the Countess Doloria di Rimini, and is accompanied by her daughter, Antonia. The train staff are apologetic, but she is angry and keeps shouting. Everyone seems overawed by her, but in the end she doesn't get her own way because the conductor stands up to her and they have to sit in second class. One does wonder why Louis and Jacques are in second class as well, but anyway. Liz thinks to herself how outraged she is people like that actually exist. Well, I guess if you pay for the ticket you do kind of want the seat, but....
We now go to another new character, Prince Laurent. He is bang in the middle of a family conference with his father, King Nicolas de Sainte-Marie, and his stepmother, Catherine. He tells them how trapped he feels, but his father writes it off as an adolescent phase. He also hears how his dad was a bit of a renegade at eighteen, the same age as Laurent, and had refused the throne and created a revolution. But how it all worked out for the best and he eventually took the crown. Laurent is not amused, he doesn't think he is going through a phase and how he is sick of hearing about obligations to the royal family. Gee, have some of my real life worries, you can even have them free of charge! He thinks about how he needs to decide between hurting himself to do what his family and the nation want and expect, or whether to hurt his father and destroy tradition by going along with it, whatever this IT may be? Ah, the angst!
Jacques is entertaining Jessica on the train with stories of his youth, and Liz is reading her babysitting book. Louis kids about how Jacques is ruining his chances of impressing Jessica, and she admits that he is impressing her very much. Louis then whips out a deck of cards and they do a card trick involving the Queen of Hearts to further flirt with her. Jessica thinks how she may have only been in France one day but she is already falling in love.....
Liz is in a bad mood. Bad, bad, bad! The babysitters guide thing isn't cheering her up a whole lot either, so she tries to read a book she bought with her, but Jessica and Jacques are distracting her. She tries to join in but she feels three's a crowd, so she decides to write a letter to Enid. Too bad she'd already preaddressed three envelopes to Todd, because seeing them upsets her, and she has to go get food to cope with it. I feel a fat Robin crisis coming on. She thinks how Todd would have loved the train, because apparently they'd always talked about taking a long train ride someday and eating in the buffet car. Their taste in dates sounds, umm, thrilling! Clutching her cheese sandwich, she goes back to her seat, and decides to try to talk to the Countess on the way. Wrong choice. The Countess accuses her of being American, as if it's a crime, and insults her when she hears that the twins are going to be au pairs for the de Sainte Marie family (the ones mentioned a couple paragraphs ago, in case you fell asleep or something). The Countess is also going to stay with the royal family as a guest. Antonia pipes up and calls Liz a servant, and tells her to go away because basically she isn't good enough to sit with them. Liz goes without a fight and takes out her fury on her cheese sandwich by taking a furious bite.
Jessica and Jacques get closer and closer during the train ride. She tells him how she and Liz are going to be au pairs at Chateau d'Amour Inconnu, and he tells her an old French legend is associated with the place, about how, long ago, a prince fell in love with a handmaiden, who had a beautiful voice. They had a secret affair, until the Prince had to marry someone else in keeping with royal tradition. The day he was to marry, the maiden turned into a dove, and is still heard today. Jessica of course thinks this is romantic. Louis has a coughing fit, slightly ruining the mood, but then insists he is OK, and changes seats with Jessica so she can sit next to Jacques. They get to Marseilles, which is where Jacques and Louis have to get off, and he gives her a huge emerald pendant, which he says is only a paste copy. He also promises to come visit her at the Chateau. Instead of thinking, 'STALKER ALERT, STALKER ALERT' Jessica thinks this is so romantic, and they kiss. Then they leave the train.
Back to Laurent. He is riding his horse, Pardallion, and trying to make his decision. WHAT IS THIS DAMN DECISION??? He thinks how, as a teenager he would dream of a beautiful blond haired girl to love, like the legend associated with the Chateau. He stops in a field of wildflowers to let Pardallion drink from a stream and falls asleep. He dreams of meeting The One at a ball, a beautiful blond haired girl with ocean blue eyes and a sweet smile. Sound like anyone we know? He wakes up before he can kiss her though.
Jessica is already plotting to skive off and shirk her responsibilities to the children onto Liz when she wants to see Jacques. She falls into a daydream about him, only to be rudely disturbed by the Countess - again - who is screeching about how her family jewel has been stolen on the train. Jessica thinks it's exciting. The Countess then admits she doesn't actually know if it was stolen on the train or not, as she last saw it in Italy, but she demands all the passengers be searched anyway. This cannot be done, however, which is good otherwise our story might be much different for our brave heroines......
They leave the train eventually to go to the Chateau. They are picked up by Gaston, who is British, who is to drive them to the Chateau in a van. The Countess and Antonia (or the Witch and her spawn, as Jess puts it) leave in a limo to the same destination. Their driver is called Jeeves - how clique! Liz thinks how, if everyone else turns out to be as snobby as them she will be leaving as quickly as she got there.
Jacques & Louis are at some outside cafe in Marseille. Jacques in mooning over Jessica, thinking how innocent she is (if only he knew...) and he thinks he may be falling in love with her. He feels bad about her too, and tells Louis he isn't sure they did the right thing. What right thing? Does this book have to be completely full of enigmas? Of course, you've probably all guessed by now what they did do regarding Jessica, but, if you haven't, I'm not going to spoil the suspense! He plans to see her again...I wonder why....
The twins go to the Chateau and love it on first sight. Jessica thinks that the splendor must be comparable to how Jacques lives, and thinks of herself as the wife of a duke. The twins meet a housemaid, Anna, who then introduces them to Prince Nicolas and Princess Catherine. They're really nice and welcoming, and the girls feel at home with them, unlike how the Countess is. Jessica is a bit disappointed that they have to eat dinner in the servants quarters instead of with the Royal family (???) but she comforts herself with thoughts of Jacques and settles down.
The girls have rooms in the servants quarters also, two tiny rooms at the top of a stone tower. How.......quaintly prehistoric, writer. They have to share a closet!!!OH NOES!!! Liz thinks about how beautiful the Chateau and grounds are, and how she'll have to tell Todd.....oh wait, he's a dick isn't he! She gets his photo out again and cries over it for a while. There's some thinly veiled foreshadowing in Elizabeth's thoughts about how no Prince Charming will rescue her now......
The twins then have to meet the children they are to look after, at dinner. There's Manon, who's three, Claudine, who's five (and looks 'mature') and Pierre, who is eight. The twins are meant to be teaching these children English skills as well (but I bet their pay doesn't reflect that little non-optional extra). The kids act like little angels and ask polite questions....until Anna leaves. Claudine throws food around the kitchen, followed by the other two. Uh-oh. Maybe they aren't little angels, after all. Jess yells at them and they stop it, even though Liz is all disapproving and starts quoting that bloody Babysitters Guide book to her. Liz, being sanctimonious, tries to sit with Manon, but Manon throws soup in her face. Ha! Anna comes back and laughs at the mishap. Lol! The kids demand to see Laurie, who is explained as being the children's older brother - yes, that's Prince Laurent, folks! Anna says he is very reclusive, and spends most of his time alone, thinking, except that might all change now that Antonia di Rimini is visiting, which hints at romance between the pair......
Next morning, Anna leaves the twins alone with the kids to play outside. Again, they have been acting perfectly...until now. Before she goes, Anna tells the twins on no account should they or the children enter the big topiary maze situated within the grounds, as it is extremely easy to get lost in, and there isn't a map. Of course, the kids act up when she leaves. Claudine throws toys around and Manon cries. Jessica tries to sort it out, and Pierre runs off, persued by Elizabeth. Of course, who should be having morning tea on the terrace but Countess di Rimini and Antonia, with the Prince and Princess. Pierre jumps on the Countess' lap and spills her tea, much to Elizabeth's total embarrassment. Catherine has a go at Pierre, but the Countess blames Liz, saying she is incapable of controlling the children. Elizabeth bristles with anger. Like a cactus. Anna leads Pierre back to the other children, followed humbly by Liz, and gives the kids a lecture on behaving. Whatever, thinks Liz, she knows this job will be even worse than expected! Finally, the twins get the kids to play quietly. Jessica is watching Pierre and Claudine, while Liz watches Manon. Jessica watches the Countess and Antonia lazing by the swimming pool, thinking how unfair it is that she has to work. Antonia starts showing off and belly flops into the pool. . Heh! Suddenly, Pierre runs off again, this time toward the maze. Liz follows, as Jessica isn't bothered. Tell me again how she got this job! Jessica continues to paint her toenails while Liz dashes off.
Liz goes into the maze, but there's no sign of Pierre. However, she can hear him laughing as she calls him. Little brat! She gets all hysterical and starts running around maniacally, and of course gets lost. She decides to follow every left turn to get out again, even though surely she would just be going round in a big square, and eventually sees Pierre hiding in a bush. He is spying on a young man jousting a dummy outside a cottage. Liz sees him and experiences a weird tingling sensation, and having arrived at the place she has been looking for her whole life. Groan. She thinks the man reminds her of someone she knows. Pierre throws grass on her and the 'spell' is broken. Liz, for some reason, thinks about how lax Jessica is being and how she's going to have to buck her up. Then they leave the maze.
This was Prince Laurent, of course. He is practising jousting when he thinks he hears a noise from the hedge. Looking up, he thinks he sees the girl from his dream; the golden hair, the ocean blue eyes. Their eyes meet for a split second and then she disappears......
True love. Isn't it sweet!
Jess is playing with the girls when Liz and Pierre return. Liz lays into Jess for not pulling her weight, and they have their usual I-hate-you-you-ruin-my-life argument. Admittedly, Liz is a tad out of order:
Liz: Jess, you're so lazy and selfish
Jess: You so think you're Miss Perfect, well you're not!
Liz: Prima donna!
Jess: Worrywart!
Liz: I'm like, so sick of being YOUR babysitter (finally)
Jess: You're so bossy. (Owned, Liz)
Liz: ME???
Jess: Yeah! AND boring!
Liz: You're just SELFISH and UNRELIABLE and a crap sister!
Jess: Fuck off home then
Liz: Umm, fine, I will!
Uh-oh. People are watching. The twins establish a stony truce, and Jess thinks that she'll never forgive Liz for the humiliation! Just one of the many times you'll never forgive her, then. There might be a whole gang of evil doppelgangers running around France, Jess, so make sure you don't mind losing your sister.
Next day, Jess is eating lunch - alone! They've decided at some point to split the babysitting duties instead of sharing them (which would have been sensible in the beginning) and Liz has the kiddiwinks. Jess is feeling all hard done by, thinking about how Liz called her all those horrible names and everything! Sniffle sniffle. Jess also thinks Liz is being the 'babysitting police' because, it isn't Jessica's fault if her number one priority is to enjoy the trip, not do the babysitting she is meant to be doing. Sigh. Her thoughts move to Jacques and how she is missing (which is convenient because he turns up in all of one chapter or so). A letter arrives and Jess immediately thinks it must be for her, but, nope, it's for Liz from Toddyboy. Liz thinks it would be perfect revenge to burn the letter, as Liz was so, so mean to her the day before. She justifies it by thinking, "call me selfish! You want to see selfish? Fine." Oh dear. Jess is on a sociopathic roll! So, she burns it and oh so conveniently arrives late (three hours late) to take over sitting the kids. Very mature!
Liz decides to take a stroll in the topiary maze with her afternoon off. She feels all alone because Todd left her and now Jess hates her, too. Until some big relevation comes along to show you how perfect being twins is, Liz, don't worry! She sobs as she walks, thinking of Todd dating another girl or thinking about her in the park, and of course she gets lost, helping the plot along a little bit. it starts to rain and rain and thunder cracks the sky (as always, the ever convenient thunderstorm to make the plot work) and the path turns to sloshy mud. She thinks about being electrocuted or catching pneumonia when she catches sight of the cottage she saw the other day. Regardless of who might live there, she dashes across and hammers on the door. Will she be saved or will she, gasp, drown?
That evening, Jessica is exhausted. She has dinner and has a chat with Anna, the maid. She tells Anna all about Jacques, and learns that, actually, Norveaux doesn't exist, so obviously Jacques has lied. Hands up who was expecting that! Jessica is all shockedy shocked and thinks how stupid she is (correct). She goes to her room and has a little mope, 'I'm treated like a servant round here. Elizabeth hates me. I burned an important letter. I'm a terrible babysitter. And Jacques turned out to be a jerk. Life is so unfair.' Correct! Full marks!
Laurent opens his cottage door to find the girl from his dream there. Shame she is sopping wet and distressed. He welcomes her in, and they proceed to chat each other up by the fire. The rain and storm doesn't let up, and he tells her to stay the night in the cottage, thinking he will 'take care of her.' Now if that isn't an innuendo for something entirely less gentlemanly, I don't know what is. Liz agrees, and the spend the whole night talking and drinking hot cider. HOT CIDER! Hot damnation more like. Is French alcohol less potent than the Sweet Valley brand? As Liz has two whole cups and doesn't die/kill anyone/swear/act slutty/throw up or anything else. Nor does Laurent attempt date rape/kill anyone/punch anyone etc. Anyway, Laurent tells the ever ready ear of Elizabeth Wakefield all about his dead mother and his childhood and it's all very romantic. They nearly kiss but then the sun comes up and he makes breakfast instead. Damn that sun! Liz thinks how they're just friends, after all, and Todd pops in there of course.
Jessica has been extremely worried about Liz. Bless her. I'll always heart Jess, even if she is a bitch. She decides to take the kids and go search for Liz. Liz appears in some meadow, and Jessica is all happy to see her, instead of being extremely pissed off as I think I would be. Jess has a lightning flash of how selfish she has been acting and they have a, "you're the only twin I've got" moment, as per usual. They make friends, but Jessica doesn't tell Liz about the letter. She reassures herself that Todd will write again.
The twins keep up their splitting shifts with the kids so on Friday, Liz is wandering through some garden, feeling at peace with the world. Who should she run into but Laurent, on a white stallion, with a black mare on a lead rein. She thinks how it's just like her dream on the train, and he invites her for a ride. She agrees, even though she knows she will be skipping her shift with the kids and not relieving Jessica.
And she called Jess selfish? She mounts the mare and off they go.
Jess is seething. There's a royal party going on, and the kids are wound up and giving her a hard time. None of the servants are free to talk, and Liz is missing. Poor Jess. However, one serving man does tell her that he saw Liz ride off with Prince Laurent on a horse. Laurent is also skipping the royal ball, something that won't go down well. Jessica thinks about how she wants to strangle Liz, but Liz is having much more fun. She's having a picnic with more cider (!!!!!!!) on the beach. She thinks how the Mediterranean is passionate and Laurent takes her hand. He tells her there are things about him she should know, but she shuts him up, thinking about how Prince Laurent could be her destiny.
Jessica, on the other hand, is going to bed, eventually, thinking about how she'll never forgive Liz, even though she also is aware of how often she does it to her. But, justification again, 'Elizabeth is supposed to be the responsible twin.' Stereotyping, are we! She enters her room and a large hand covers her mouth and she feels like she can't breathe. She thinks she is going to die, but of course it turns out to be Jacques. Without apologising, he kisses her. Jessica instantly forgets he lied to her, and all in well in the world of Jessica Wakefield, until the next book at least....
Liz and Laurent have ridden along a path to a meadow, where Laurent tells Liz he first saw her in a dream. They kiss, and all is well in the world of Elizabeth Wakefield, too, until the next book at least.....
SO....
On the back, this collection is described as, 'three riveting books in one.' I don't know if I'd go that far as to say, 'riveting,' but, OK! Also, we have the description, 'Join Jessica and Elizabeth for a summer of royalty and romance in this majestic trilogy of titles.' *Cough!* I think Francine was fast running out of ideas here, so why not rip off a fairy tale to liven up the series, eh wot wot!
Now, these books were released separately, and then put together in the Chateau d' Amour collection afterwards. Chateau d' Amour of course translating to Chateau of Love. How romantically sickly sweet and corny can we get now, Francine! I'm making this point because this cover:
is the trilogy cover, and I will be using this in all three recaps to make them continuous. A crown, handcuffs and pretty pink flowers, and we pretty much have the books summed up on the cover.
Yes, that's right, it's another summer in the glamour filled lives of the Wakefields. Except, on the cover of the original book, they don't look so glamorous, err, at all, really!
Sorry about the size, best I could find courtesy of Amazon. We have the twins going through a gateway (presumably to the Chateau) and looking round in awe. I'm assuming Jess is the one in the white, judging by the length of that dress, and Liz is wearing the granny skirt and sandals with socks. Jess is wearing what I think is a beret, (obviously to show off her thorough understanding of French fashion) and they both have absolutely appalling taste in suitcases. Maybe they were borrowed from Grandma Wakefield. Also, what's with the OMG expression? I know these were the actresses from the TV series, the Daniels twins, but I don't remember them looking THIS bad! It's not like they won't have seen a genuine mansion type place before - need I say MISS LILA FOWLER, HELLO!!! Jess even has the hand on heart pose to prove the OMG face! Anyway, Liz's skirt is starting to really bug me, the way it's co-ordinated with her suitcase, so I'll move onto the ripped off fairytale story.
Liz is packing her suitcase with all the essentials - shampoo, soap and conditioner. She's packing because, as now explained, tomorrow morning she and Jess are going to France for the summer to be au pairs for a royal family. Lila is throwing a going away bash (yes, another party! Hey, didn't Li throw them a similar type party when they went to London for the summer in one of those alternate universes they live in?) so they need to be packed before they go.
Liz finishes packing, and stands double checking everything. She realises she has forgotten a major item in the suitcase - a framed photo of Todd. Liz picks it up tenderly and stands reminiscing about his 'deep, coffee coloured eyes and dark brown curls.' So we have a Todd description before a twins description. Shock, horror! She holds the photo and gets all emo and mopey thinking about the summer ahead without Todd in it. 'Tonight would be the last night that they would get to enjoy the beautiful view [of Millers Point, where Liz is planning on sneaking off to] together. "It's going to be a long summer," she whispered.' Bloody hell, Liz. It's six weeks, not six years. Besides, you survived Vermont, didn't you. Just get another boy to hook up with for the summer (oops, that wasn't a very subtle plot giveaway, was it?) Just as Liz starts deploring the fact Todd can't go for weekend visits (Wtf? To France? I should think not), Jessica bounds in to hopefully liven the first chapter up. She apparently looks, 'glamorous and sexy in a long, deep red cotton skirt with a cream coloured Lycra T-shirt.' Jess moans about being late and Liz thinks fondly how different they are even though they look so, so alike. Yawn. No one will mind if I skip over this particular bit, will they! Jess been listening to French music all summer, and starts singing in really bad French. Hehe, see, cheered up already.
We now get a brief history of why the twins are off to France. Ned had a employment agency as a client, and he oh so casually mentioned the au pair opening at dinner, giving birth to another plot line. Jessica, of course, HAD to get the job as it was for ROYALTY, and, after blagging and dealing, she put together an impressive resume and got the job. BUT! Because she was only sixteen, she needed to take someone with her to share the duties. This of course introduces Liz to the plot. Liz said no, Jess wore her down, trod on her and then got her own way (as usual) and that brings us current. Liz actually thinks to herself, 'why can't I ever say no to my twin?'Good question, Liz, why can't you?
She stops hugging Todd's photo, packs it, and lugs all her bags downstairs. Jess has packed a five piece floral set of luggage (arghh, so you mean those on the cover weren't just bad choice of photography props?) and a dressbag, plus an oversized backpack. Liz, of course, has a backpack and one suitcase. Hmm, I think for six weeks I would need more than one! Liz scolds, Jess shushes her, and off they go to Lila's.
Jessica is thinking how lavish the party is, and how popular she is as everyone in the junior class seems to have turned up. Well, free food, free drink and music at a rich girl's mansion, can't see why it would be turned down. Jessica, however, feels bored and wishes she was already on the plane. Winston tries to liven things up by dressing and speaking in a French accent, and gives Jess a present: a tiny pin with a frog on. Heh! He also has one for Elizabeth, but her and Todd have snuck away from the party (oh-er). Jess thinks again how lucky and popular she is, but she also feels ready for a change. Lila comes up and Jess tells her how she is really looking forward to meeting foreign cute guys. Also, Lila's relationship with Bo Creighton, whoever he may be, is dropping off. Lila is derogatory, but Jess thinks how it's going to be a summer she'll never forget. Jess, you should know by now whenever you say that, it means trouble!
Liz is feeling all melancholy about leaving Sweet Valley and Todd. She's being all lovey dovey with him, trying to hug him and telling him she loves him, but, even though he says it back, he is acting all uncomfortable, and eventually Liz stops prattling to notice something's up, and I don't mean his penis. Todd tells her they need to talk, and they leave the actual party and walk on the Fowler estate grounds. Todd is all worried about the upcoming separation, as he knows long distance relationships are hard to maintain. In other words, Liz, never go on holiday without him, because he'll misconstrue it as moving away. Liz is relieved, instead of being seriously pissed off, as I would be, and tells him it's only a holiday, but then he points out so was the time she had an affair at Camp Echo Mountain (is that another summer book?) with Joey Mason. Liz is silenced, and cries. As usual. Liz swears true love to Todd, but he goes all self sacrificing and tells Liz she should be free to go out with anyone she wants while she's in France. Liz then, finally, gets suspicious, and accuses Todd of wanting to see other girls, not her. Todd doesn't deny it, and tells her they should both be free for the summer. He also tells her he doesn't want to lose her, and they could 'reevaluate their relationship' when she gets back. L-oser, Todd! Liz is rightfully angry, but, instead of smacking his handsome and tanned face, she tells him he can have all the freedom he wants from her, forever, and quietly walks away.Todd calls, she yells, "leave me alone," and runs off. Getting into the Jeep (leaving Jess stranded for a change), she goes to drive off. Todd runs up and tells her he loves her, but she tells him to buggar off, never speak to her again, and drives off, unfortunately not running him over as I think I might have been tempted to do. And there we have the Sweet Valley situation summed up, all ready for the plotline to swing into overdrive.
Next morning, Jess is all anxious to be off. Never mind Liz has just broken up with the love of her life over this job in France, oh no, Jess thinks in her twisted way it's all good Todd showed his true colours because now Elizabeth can move on and hopefully hook up in France with someone else. Which of course was probably going to happen anyway, as usually it doesn't matter whether Liz are Todd are heart2heart or not! And also Todd is less interesting than a caveman. But, never minding that, Jessica starts practicing her French phrases into the mirror and smiling at herself. She's all excited, but classes Elizabeth a 'problem.' Apparently she hasn't stopped crying for a whole five minutes since the party. That's an awful lot of water to waste, hope they have been putting the plants underneath her for watering. Jessica hopes that, 'Elizabeth was feeling better this morning. She didn't want anything to delay their departure to France.' Nice. Going into Liz's room, Liz refuses to get dressed or to talk. *Rolleyes.* Todd is such a jerk off. Jess tries to cheer up Liz by cracking jokes and getting excited about going to Europe, which makes her cry again. Jess comforts Liz and heads back out the room, thinking how she could cheerfully murder Todd. After admiring her outfit, 'chic beige linen pants and a black blazer,' she goes back to Liz, who still hasn't got out of bed. Jess appeals to her sister's base instincts; history and culture and education, but iz still doesn't care. She finally tells Liz that Todd clearly isn't the great guy Liz thought he was if he couldn't handle the separation, which finally perks Liz up. Liz decides she's going to use the summer to put Mr Todd whale-lover-jerk-off Wilkins behind her for once and for all (yeah, right, 1bruce1 knows that doesn't happen) and off they go down to breakfast.
At breakfast, Liz is still depressed but everyone is there, including Steven and Billie the girl, to show the twins off in style. She doesn't tell them about Todd, though, obviously so it's easier for them to hook back up at the end of the arc, and maybe also so we don't have to read about how Steven will punch Todd's lights out, again! Alice is all sad the twins are going (bloody hell, it's only a holiday, and it's not like they've ever gone away before without their parents or anything.) She will probably have to buy a new house before they get back as the old one will disintergrate due to excess cleaning. Liz is expecting Todd will ring, even thought she told him never to speak to her again, to beg forgiveness and ask her back. But he doesn't. She is shocked. She expects him at the airport, no doubt to do a dramatic airport hero scene as seen in Liar Liar and such like, but, he doesn't show. The plane boards, Alice cries and gives them motherly warnings (THEY BLOODY WENT TO LONDON NOT LONG BACK ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and off the twins go onto the plane.
Way too many mentions of Todd in the last two chapters, I might need some coffee to wake myself up.
On the plane, Liz is still dwelling on the fact Todd doesn't love her anymore (even though he said he did, so :-p to you). Jessica's asleep and Liz is thinking how it's all her fault because she broke Todd's trust (once? twice? many times?) even though she still thinks Todd wants another girl and his freedom. OK, Liz, start dealing, please! To distract herself, she pulls The Babysitter's Guide to Children out of her backpack to read. Good grief, didn't she do enough babysitting back in SVT and the early SVH books! I love the non continuity of these books. Besides, what a stupid name for a book, it might as well be Babysitting for Dummies. And I bet there's one of those out there, not to mention on howto.com. I'm also surprised she hasn't got the whole Babysitters Club series in that backpack as well. I digress. Liz reads the book, reminiscing about how badly the counselling experience at Camp echo went (heh, being dubbed 'Dizzy Lizzie' must have really affected her - enough to snog Joey Mason anyway). The book, surprisingly, sends her to sleep, where she has a dream about walking in a field of wildflowers and realises she is lost. The sky goes dark and then suddenly a gorgeous guy, with jet black hair and deep blue eyes rides up on a white stallion and lifts her up on his horse. She hugs him and ride off into the sunset.....Jess then wakes her up and Liz thinks what a ridiculous dream it is, as the only prince she has is already a frog. Lolz!
We now meet two new characters, Louis Landeau and his son, Jacques. They are French (obviously) and are in a cafe on the Boulevard Saint-Germain in Paris. We hear how Louis is a man who likes his money and his women, together, preferably. Louis flirts with a women in the cafe, but Jacques knows that, inside, his father is lonely for the woman he truly loved, Jacques' mother, who died years ago. Jacques hopes his father will fall in love again and be happy. Louis interrupts Jacques' thoughts by having a choking fit at the table, and Jacques thinks how his father may be falling ill again after a bout of pneumonia last Winter, and their constant travelling lifestyle is not good for either of them; they need a place to call home. Jacques can't think of a way to afford settling down though....
The twins' plane lands and Jessica suddenly realises knowing, 'Bonjour, je m'appelle Jessica,' and, 'comment allez-vous?,' isn't enough to get you around in France. Liz, of course, knows what is being said, mostly. Jess is finding it hard to lug all her suitcases along and can't make out the train announcements, getting all confused about which platform they should be on and so on. Liz, of course, being perfectly fluent in French through listening through Ms Dalton's French classes, leads the way. Some funny paragraphs about a man asking Jessica for the time and Jess not understanding him, and Liz being all smug and giving him the answer. Jessica's suitcase suddenly breaks, and Liz refuses to help her, because she is being an angsty bitch over Todd and says it's Jessica's fault for packing way too much stuff, unlike her perfect self. Nice. Jess looks for a cart, but asks a woman instead to play cards with her in the train station, much to Liz's self satisfied amusement. Nothing like some bitchiness to cheer you up. Liz stalks off, leaving Jessica no choice but to follow, struggling. Suddenly, who should appear but (no, not Todd, he did not follow them to France (this time)) Jacques and Louis. They speak near perfect English, and help Jessica carry her bags onto the train. Jacques is also, 'slim, with dark brown hair and smooth, almond shaped eyes. He had a rakish look on his face, and slight stubble darkened his jaw.' In other words, perfect Jessica crush one-book-(or in this case, three)-boyfriend material.
On the train, Liz is angry that Jessica let two strangers help her, but, as Jessica says, she refused to, so she only has herself to blame. Though I'm sure they would have met, anyway, due to Wakefield twin animal magnetism. Liz thinks how, for someone who's supposed to be caring for young children, Jessica hasn't yet showed a very high level of responsibility and maturity. Words don't describe how much I am eye rolling here. She also thinks how she is really going to have to keep an eye on Jess this summer. *shakes head.* Poor Jess. Guess who should then again appear on the train but Jacques and Louis - turns out they are traveling to the same place (now isn't that a coincidence). Louis flirts with the twins, calling them beautiful and so on (gross, how old is he?), and then he introduces himself as Louis Landeau, the duke of Norveaux, and his son and heir, Jacques. Jessica is all impressed (more royalty, wow), and Jessica introduces her and Liz. Liz is oh so not impressed, and tries to figure out where Norveaux actually is, but can't. She goes to ask, but is interrupted by a disturbance on the train.
A woman is shrieking about being placed in second class, instead of first. Turns out she is the Countess Doloria di Rimini, and is accompanied by her daughter, Antonia. The train staff are apologetic, but she is angry and keeps shouting. Everyone seems overawed by her, but in the end she doesn't get her own way because the conductor stands up to her and they have to sit in second class. One does wonder why Louis and Jacques are in second class as well, but anyway. Liz thinks to herself how outraged she is people like that actually exist. Well, I guess if you pay for the ticket you do kind of want the seat, but....
We now go to another new character, Prince Laurent. He is bang in the middle of a family conference with his father, King Nicolas de Sainte-Marie, and his stepmother, Catherine. He tells them how trapped he feels, but his father writes it off as an adolescent phase. He also hears how his dad was a bit of a renegade at eighteen, the same age as Laurent, and had refused the throne and created a revolution. But how it all worked out for the best and he eventually took the crown. Laurent is not amused, he doesn't think he is going through a phase and how he is sick of hearing about obligations to the royal family. Gee, have some of my real life worries, you can even have them free of charge! He thinks about how he needs to decide between hurting himself to do what his family and the nation want and expect, or whether to hurt his father and destroy tradition by going along with it, whatever this IT may be? Ah, the angst!
Jacques is entertaining Jessica on the train with stories of his youth, and Liz is reading her babysitting book. Louis kids about how Jacques is ruining his chances of impressing Jessica, and she admits that he is impressing her very much. Louis then whips out a deck of cards and they do a card trick involving the Queen of Hearts to further flirt with her. Jessica thinks how she may have only been in France one day but she is already falling in love.....
Liz is in a bad mood. Bad, bad, bad! The babysitters guide thing isn't cheering her up a whole lot either, so she tries to read a book she bought with her, but Jessica and Jacques are distracting her. She tries to join in but she feels three's a crowd, so she decides to write a letter to Enid. Too bad she'd already preaddressed three envelopes to Todd, because seeing them upsets her, and she has to go get food to cope with it. I feel a fat Robin crisis coming on. She thinks how Todd would have loved the train, because apparently they'd always talked about taking a long train ride someday and eating in the buffet car. Their taste in dates sounds, umm, thrilling! Clutching her cheese sandwich, she goes back to her seat, and decides to try to talk to the Countess on the way. Wrong choice. The Countess accuses her of being American, as if it's a crime, and insults her when she hears that the twins are going to be au pairs for the de Sainte Marie family (the ones mentioned a couple paragraphs ago, in case you fell asleep or something). The Countess is also going to stay with the royal family as a guest. Antonia pipes up and calls Liz a servant, and tells her to go away because basically she isn't good enough to sit with them. Liz goes without a fight and takes out her fury on her cheese sandwich by taking a furious bite.
Jessica and Jacques get closer and closer during the train ride. She tells him how she and Liz are going to be au pairs at Chateau d'Amour Inconnu, and he tells her an old French legend is associated with the place, about how, long ago, a prince fell in love with a handmaiden, who had a beautiful voice. They had a secret affair, until the Prince had to marry someone else in keeping with royal tradition. The day he was to marry, the maiden turned into a dove, and is still heard today. Jessica of course thinks this is romantic. Louis has a coughing fit, slightly ruining the mood, but then insists he is OK, and changes seats with Jessica so she can sit next to Jacques. They get to Marseilles, which is where Jacques and Louis have to get off, and he gives her a huge emerald pendant, which he says is only a paste copy. He also promises to come visit her at the Chateau. Instead of thinking, 'STALKER ALERT, STALKER ALERT' Jessica thinks this is so romantic, and they kiss. Then they leave the train.
Back to Laurent. He is riding his horse, Pardallion, and trying to make his decision. WHAT IS THIS DAMN DECISION??? He thinks how, as a teenager he would dream of a beautiful blond haired girl to love, like the legend associated with the Chateau. He stops in a field of wildflowers to let Pardallion drink from a stream and falls asleep. He dreams of meeting The One at a ball, a beautiful blond haired girl with ocean blue eyes and a sweet smile. Sound like anyone we know? He wakes up before he can kiss her though.
Jessica is already plotting to skive off and shirk her responsibilities to the children onto Liz when she wants to see Jacques. She falls into a daydream about him, only to be rudely disturbed by the Countess - again - who is screeching about how her family jewel has been stolen on the train. Jessica thinks it's exciting. The Countess then admits she doesn't actually know if it was stolen on the train or not, as she last saw it in Italy, but she demands all the passengers be searched anyway. This cannot be done, however, which is good otherwise our story might be much different for our brave heroines......
They leave the train eventually to go to the Chateau. They are picked up by Gaston, who is British, who is to drive them to the Chateau in a van. The Countess and Antonia (or the Witch and her spawn, as Jess puts it) leave in a limo to the same destination. Their driver is called Jeeves - how clique! Liz thinks how, if everyone else turns out to be as snobby as them she will be leaving as quickly as she got there.
Jacques & Louis are at some outside cafe in Marseille. Jacques in mooning over Jessica, thinking how innocent she is (if only he knew...) and he thinks he may be falling in love with her. He feels bad about her too, and tells Louis he isn't sure they did the right thing. What right thing? Does this book have to be completely full of enigmas? Of course, you've probably all guessed by now what they did do regarding Jessica, but, if you haven't, I'm not going to spoil the suspense! He plans to see her again...I wonder why....
The twins go to the Chateau and love it on first sight. Jessica thinks that the splendor must be comparable to how Jacques lives, and thinks of herself as the wife of a duke. The twins meet a housemaid, Anna, who then introduces them to Prince Nicolas and Princess Catherine. They're really nice and welcoming, and the girls feel at home with them, unlike how the Countess is. Jessica is a bit disappointed that they have to eat dinner in the servants quarters instead of with the Royal family (???) but she comforts herself with thoughts of Jacques and settles down.
The girls have rooms in the servants quarters also, two tiny rooms at the top of a stone tower. How.......quaintly prehistoric, writer. They have to share a closet!!!OH NOES!!! Liz thinks about how beautiful the Chateau and grounds are, and how she'll have to tell Todd.....oh wait, he's a dick isn't he! She gets his photo out again and cries over it for a while. There's some thinly veiled foreshadowing in Elizabeth's thoughts about how no Prince Charming will rescue her now......
The twins then have to meet the children they are to look after, at dinner. There's Manon, who's three, Claudine, who's five (and looks 'mature') and Pierre, who is eight. The twins are meant to be teaching these children English skills as well (but I bet their pay doesn't reflect that little non-optional extra). The kids act like little angels and ask polite questions....until Anna leaves. Claudine throws food around the kitchen, followed by the other two. Uh-oh. Maybe they aren't little angels, after all. Jess yells at them and they stop it, even though Liz is all disapproving and starts quoting that bloody Babysitters Guide book to her. Liz, being sanctimonious, tries to sit with Manon, but Manon throws soup in her face. Ha! Anna comes back and laughs at the mishap. Lol! The kids demand to see Laurie, who is explained as being the children's older brother - yes, that's Prince Laurent, folks! Anna says he is very reclusive, and spends most of his time alone, thinking, except that might all change now that Antonia di Rimini is visiting, which hints at romance between the pair......
Next morning, Anna leaves the twins alone with the kids to play outside. Again, they have been acting perfectly...until now. Before she goes, Anna tells the twins on no account should they or the children enter the big topiary maze situated within the grounds, as it is extremely easy to get lost in, and there isn't a map. Of course, the kids act up when she leaves. Claudine throws toys around and Manon cries. Jessica tries to sort it out, and Pierre runs off, persued by Elizabeth. Of course, who should be having morning tea on the terrace but Countess di Rimini and Antonia, with the Prince and Princess. Pierre jumps on the Countess' lap and spills her tea, much to Elizabeth's total embarrassment. Catherine has a go at Pierre, but the Countess blames Liz, saying she is incapable of controlling the children. Elizabeth bristles with anger. Like a cactus. Anna leads Pierre back to the other children, followed humbly by Liz, and gives the kids a lecture on behaving. Whatever, thinks Liz, she knows this job will be even worse than expected! Finally, the twins get the kids to play quietly. Jessica is watching Pierre and Claudine, while Liz watches Manon. Jessica watches the Countess and Antonia lazing by the swimming pool, thinking how unfair it is that she has to work. Antonia starts showing off and belly flops into the pool. . Heh! Suddenly, Pierre runs off again, this time toward the maze. Liz follows, as Jessica isn't bothered. Tell me again how she got this job! Jessica continues to paint her toenails while Liz dashes off.
Liz goes into the maze, but there's no sign of Pierre. However, she can hear him laughing as she calls him. Little brat! She gets all hysterical and starts running around maniacally, and of course gets lost. She decides to follow every left turn to get out again, even though surely she would just be going round in a big square, and eventually sees Pierre hiding in a bush. He is spying on a young man jousting a dummy outside a cottage. Liz sees him and experiences a weird tingling sensation, and having arrived at the place she has been looking for her whole life. Groan. She thinks the man reminds her of someone she knows. Pierre throws grass on her and the 'spell' is broken. Liz, for some reason, thinks about how lax Jessica is being and how she's going to have to buck her up. Then they leave the maze.
This was Prince Laurent, of course. He is practising jousting when he thinks he hears a noise from the hedge. Looking up, he thinks he sees the girl from his dream; the golden hair, the ocean blue eyes. Their eyes meet for a split second and then she disappears......
True love. Isn't it sweet!
Jess is playing with the girls when Liz and Pierre return. Liz lays into Jess for not pulling her weight, and they have their usual I-hate-you-you-ruin-my-life argument. Admittedly, Liz is a tad out of order:
Liz: Jess, you're so lazy and selfish
Jess: You so think you're Miss Perfect, well you're not!
Liz: Prima donna!
Jess: Worrywart!
Liz: I'm like, so sick of being YOUR babysitter (finally)
Jess: You're so bossy. (Owned, Liz)
Liz: ME???
Jess: Yeah! AND boring!
Liz: You're just SELFISH and UNRELIABLE and a crap sister!
Jess: Fuck off home then
Liz: Umm, fine, I will!
Uh-oh. People are watching. The twins establish a stony truce, and Jess thinks that she'll never forgive Liz for the humiliation! Just one of the many times you'll never forgive her, then. There might be a whole gang of evil doppelgangers running around France, Jess, so make sure you don't mind losing your sister.
Next day, Jess is eating lunch - alone! They've decided at some point to split the babysitting duties instead of sharing them (which would have been sensible in the beginning) and Liz has the kiddiwinks. Jess is feeling all hard done by, thinking about how Liz called her all those horrible names and everything! Sniffle sniffle. Jess also thinks Liz is being the 'babysitting police' because, it isn't Jessica's fault if her number one priority is to enjoy the trip, not do the babysitting she is meant to be doing. Sigh. Her thoughts move to Jacques and how she is missing (which is convenient because he turns up in all of one chapter or so). A letter arrives and Jess immediately thinks it must be for her, but, nope, it's for Liz from Toddyboy. Liz thinks it would be perfect revenge to burn the letter, as Liz was so, so mean to her the day before. She justifies it by thinking, "call me selfish! You want to see selfish? Fine." Oh dear. Jess is on a sociopathic roll! So, she burns it and oh so conveniently arrives late (three hours late) to take over sitting the kids. Very mature!
Liz decides to take a stroll in the topiary maze with her afternoon off. She feels all alone because Todd left her and now Jess hates her, too. Until some big relevation comes along to show you how perfect being twins is, Liz, don't worry! She sobs as she walks, thinking of Todd dating another girl or thinking about her in the park, and of course she gets lost, helping the plot along a little bit. it starts to rain and rain and thunder cracks the sky (as always, the ever convenient thunderstorm to make the plot work) and the path turns to sloshy mud. She thinks about being electrocuted or catching pneumonia when she catches sight of the cottage she saw the other day. Regardless of who might live there, she dashes across and hammers on the door. Will she be saved or will she, gasp, drown?
That evening, Jessica is exhausted. She has dinner and has a chat with Anna, the maid. She tells Anna all about Jacques, and learns that, actually, Norveaux doesn't exist, so obviously Jacques has lied. Hands up who was expecting that! Jessica is all shockedy shocked and thinks how stupid she is (correct). She goes to her room and has a little mope, 'I'm treated like a servant round here. Elizabeth hates me. I burned an important letter. I'm a terrible babysitter. And Jacques turned out to be a jerk. Life is so unfair.' Correct! Full marks!
Laurent opens his cottage door to find the girl from his dream there. Shame she is sopping wet and distressed. He welcomes her in, and they proceed to chat each other up by the fire. The rain and storm doesn't let up, and he tells her to stay the night in the cottage, thinking he will 'take care of her.' Now if that isn't an innuendo for something entirely less gentlemanly, I don't know what is. Liz agrees, and the spend the whole night talking and drinking hot cider. HOT CIDER! Hot damnation more like. Is French alcohol less potent than the Sweet Valley brand? As Liz has two whole cups and doesn't die/kill anyone/swear/act slutty/throw up or anything else. Nor does Laurent attempt date rape/kill anyone/punch anyone etc. Anyway, Laurent tells the ever ready ear of Elizabeth Wakefield all about his dead mother and his childhood and it's all very romantic. They nearly kiss but then the sun comes up and he makes breakfast instead. Damn that sun! Liz thinks how they're just friends, after all, and Todd pops in there of course.
Jessica has been extremely worried about Liz. Bless her. I'll always heart Jess, even if she is a bitch. She decides to take the kids and go search for Liz. Liz appears in some meadow, and Jessica is all happy to see her, instead of being extremely pissed off as I think I would be. Jess has a lightning flash of how selfish she has been acting and they have a, "you're the only twin I've got" moment, as per usual. They make friends, but Jessica doesn't tell Liz about the letter. She reassures herself that Todd will write again.
The twins keep up their splitting shifts with the kids so on Friday, Liz is wandering through some garden, feeling at peace with the world. Who should she run into but Laurent, on a white stallion, with a black mare on a lead rein. She thinks how it's just like her dream on the train, and he invites her for a ride. She agrees, even though she knows she will be skipping her shift with the kids and not relieving Jessica.
And she called Jess selfish? She mounts the mare and off they go.
Jess is seething. There's a royal party going on, and the kids are wound up and giving her a hard time. None of the servants are free to talk, and Liz is missing. Poor Jess. However, one serving man does tell her that he saw Liz ride off with Prince Laurent on a horse. Laurent is also skipping the royal ball, something that won't go down well. Jessica thinks about how she wants to strangle Liz, but Liz is having much more fun. She's having a picnic with more cider (!!!!!!!) on the beach. She thinks how the Mediterranean is passionate and Laurent takes her hand. He tells her there are things about him she should know, but she shuts him up, thinking about how Prince Laurent could be her destiny.
Jessica, on the other hand, is going to bed, eventually, thinking about how she'll never forgive Liz, even though she also is aware of how often she does it to her. But, justification again, 'Elizabeth is supposed to be the responsible twin.' Stereotyping, are we! She enters her room and a large hand covers her mouth and she feels like she can't breathe. She thinks she is going to die, but of course it turns out to be Jacques. Without apologising, he kisses her. Jessica instantly forgets he lied to her, and all in well in the world of Jessica Wakefield, until the next book at least....
Liz and Laurent have ridden along a path to a meadow, where Laurent tells Liz he first saw her in a dream. They kiss, and all is well in the world of Elizabeth Wakefield, too, until the next book at least.....
SO....
- Will Elizabeth and Laurent elope?
- Will Todd come to France?
- Will Jessica give up the easy V to Jacques?