Sweet Valley High #55: Perfect Shot
I am so excited! I was bemoaning the fact that I was all out of Sweet Valley books to recap, and then (miraculously) I remembered that I still had this one somewhere. It was (inexplicably) hidden under my bookcase. I had to look for it for a good two minutes; it was a trying time, but I persevered through all that hardship.
This is Perfect Shot. Those people on the cover are female basketball star Shelley Novak and photographer Jim Roberts. Jim looks like he has plastic-Ken-doll hair. But Shelley! Look at those eyes! If she were on America's Next Top Model, Tyra would tell her she was “fierce!” (PS. I'm so happy that this recap will allow me to indulge my two cheesy loves of Sweet Valley High and America's Next Top Model.)
If you don't know where that lj-cut quote is from you need to stop reading this recap immediately and watch Tyra try to rap. In fact, I'm going to pepper this recap with some must-see ANTM clips for your viewing pleasure because I can.
Okay the book! Liz and Enid are in the SVH cafeteria searching for Liz's boyfriend, Jeffrey French. They just found out from Mr. Collins that the “Sweet Valley News” is sponsoring a photography competition. Apparently Jeffrey is an avid photographer. If anyone knew that before just now, please let me know. Oh, he's also an “excellent” soccer player and “one of Sweet Valley's most handsome juniors.” He's perfect! Too bad Liz ditches him three books from now!
Jeffrey already knew about it. Mr. Collins told his class too. Apparently Mr. Collins is going to act as a “liaison” between the students and the newspaper. That sounds dirty to me. Liz says Jeffrey is sure to win and he mocks her as biased. He also tells us the prize is a new video camera. He says he has someone he wants to take videos of and winks at Liz. Also dirty! SVH must be one big fuck fest.
Meanwhile, Amy is excited to learn there's a new dance studio in town (how many dance studios do they have? Like two per capita?). And the new teacher, Patrick, is giving free ballroom dance lessons as a promotion. Jessica thinks that sounds dull. She must hate Dancing With the Stars as much as I do. Amy reminds Jessica there is a dance coming up (duh!). Jessica agrees to go, with visions of romantic dancing at the dance.
At cheerleading practice, formerly fat Robin exposits that they will have a lot of cheering to do in the future because the girl's basketball team is in the playoffs. Shelley Novak is the star player. Amy says Shelley looks like a “beanpole” and won't be able to find a date to the dance, at which she is to get some contrived varsity award. She also says basketball isn't very “feminine” and cheerleading is much better. I hate Amy. We're told that Shelley is in Jessica and Amy's class but she doesn't “hang around” with them-only the other basketball team members. I bet they call her a dyke behind her back too.
Shelley is insecure about her looks. She talks about it with her friend, Cathy, in the locker room. Shelley is very tall, something I know absolutely nothing about as I'm actually two inches tall. But I digress, Shelley has a huge crush on her next door neighbor, Greg, who just broke up with his girlfriend. She wants to go out with him but thinks he'll never want to date her. Shelley says she's uncoordinated, which I think is lies because she'd need a lot of coordination to play basketball. She's going to try to take ballroom dance lessons to learn to be more graceful. This is good because I know models need to be able to dance in crappy music videos.
She runs into Greg on the way home and is flustered and embarrassed. Man, I know how that feels. Crushes are really annoying. She goes home to whine to her mother where we learn that Shelley is taller than Cathy (and Tyra Banks) who is five foot nine inches. Her mother gives her the “wait for the boys to have growth spurts” spiel which is lame. My mom used to tell me the same thing, except in reverse-wait until I had a growth spurt. I never had one. I don't think they exist, like the tooth fairy (spoiler!).
At ballroom dance class, the only guys who show up are Jeffrey (with Liz), Winston, Bruce, Greg, and Jim Roberts. That's actually a pretty good male turnout. I took a ballroom dance class in college and it was all girls. The instructor, Patrick, naturally turns out to be handsome so Jessica and Amy fall all over themselves. Don't they ever get sick of doing that? Patrick is “European” looking and has a diamond earring in his left earlobe. (Aside, in the 1980's-90's wasn't there one ear you pierced if you were gay and one you pierced if you were not? Which way did that go? I think Patrick is one of the gays.)
Patrick demonstrates the box step with Shelley. He has to show her how to do it first and says, “This is the position you assume...” and I don't even find out the rest of the sentence because I'm too busy having a giggle fit. This book is so dirty.
Shelley is upset because Greg is there with Carol, his ex-girlfriend who possibly doesn't need the “ex” prefix anymore. When they have to pair up, Shelley wants to dance with Greg but he goes off with Carol. Shelley is left with Jim, who is a photographer. Jim and Shelley are both bad dancers. There are many stepped on feet. Aw, that makes me think of Neville Longbottom for some reason. I like Jim already.
Greg and Shelley walk home together. Greg says he's not really sure if he's back together with Carol or not. Shelley plucks up the courage and asks him to the dance. He his shocked. He says he can't go with her because she needs to date someone taller. What crap. It makes me mad when people think tall girls can't be with short guys or vice versa. Greg, you're a height-ist, is what you are. Your parents must be ashamed of you. You shit slice. Upset, Shelley thinks she won't go to the dance, even if they are giving her an award. I feel really bad for her.
On Friday, the girls' basketball team has a practice for the game against Emerson High the next day. The coach says they have to play “one hundred and fifty percent.” Groan. People! It's mathematically impossible to give more than one hundred percent. I hate that expression. It's too much for me to with-handle.
Anyway, Shelley doesn't perform well at practice. Her confidence is shaken by jerky Greg's heightism. Poor Shell. She says she feels like “an alien.” Her friend Cathy, awesomely, realizes something is wrong and guesses it's Greg's fault. She calls him a dope, which isn't as good as a “shit slice,” in my opinion, but it will do.
The next day at the game, Sweet Valley is losing at the half but rally. With two minutes to go, they are only behind by two points. (For some reason I imagine, Todd running onto the court-all the way from Vermont- and sinking a three pointer at the buzzer, like he always seems to do.) Shelley has the chance to make a basket, and tie it up, but she misses and the other team gets the rebound. So now they're behind by four with about one minute to go.
The SVH coach calls time-out and calls the girls over. I really want him to tell them to assert their personhood but he doesn't. Lame. Shelley notices a boy (Jim) taking pictures and tries to hide her face because she hates having her picture taken. The coach's pep-talk doesn't do any good and Sweet Valley loses to the other team. I'm shocked. I didn't think Sweet Valley ever lost. Shelley is likewise crushed and feels responsible for missing that basket.
Jim continues to take pictures after the game, to Shelley's annoyance. She tells him to destroy that “roll” of film (hee! No digital cameras!). Jim apologizes and asks Shelley out. She sees Greg walk by at just that moment and agrees to go out with Jim, loudly, to make Greg notice. The shit slice, of course, pays no attention to her. But Shelley decides Jim seems nice enough and goes out with him anyway. She asks Jim about his photography and he tells her she's a great model and that she's “graceful.” Shelley thinks he's making fun of her, until she realizes he's serious. Aw.
Jeffrey and Liz are developing his photos in the dark room. Jeffrey took photos of the beach and Liz comments that she likes how “grainy” the sand looks. What? Isn't sad always grainy? I don't get it. Anyway, Jim arrives to develop his photos. Jeffrey is impressed by Jim's photos (one is of an elderly woman, and one is of Shelley leaping to make a basket). He says Jim should enter one in the competition, but Jim demurs. Have I mentioned that I like Jeffrey? He's encouraging Jim to compete against him and giving him praise!
Later, Shelley and Jim go on a second date to Miller's point. And if you think she's about to get raped, you have seriously misjudged Jim. No, he's there to take pictures of the view. He tries to snap pictures of her but she gets upset. She says she has a “phobia” about having her picture taken and makes him promise not to take any more. He realizes she is dead serious, and swears. But later he touches her cheek and tells her she is beautiful. Shelley begins to fall for him.
The next day, Shelley sees Jim in the cafeteria. He has developed his photos and says she looks like a model in the ones he took of her. She doesn't believe him and makes him swear to never show anyone the photos ever (anvil alert). Again, he apologizes and swears he won't show anyone.
Back at the boring B plot, Jessica and Amy are still in love with Patrick the dancer. They have that same fight they have in every book about how he loves Jessica/Amy more than he loves Amy/Jessica. But, of course, when they get to the lesson a lot more girls have shown up this time. They've all heard how hot Patrick is. Even Lila is there. They're practicing tango that day, and Patrick invites Jessica up to demonstrate with him. Jessica, always completely rational, thinks when they're married the tango will be “their” dance and they'll tell their children about it. But her attention is distracted and she screws up the dance. Amy makes fun of her. Normally, I hate Amy but I would totally make fun of her too. (As if I need to tell people who read my recaps that!)
On Thursday, the basketball team has a rematch against Emerson. This time Shelley plays really well and they thump them. Apparently, this is all because Jim makes her so happy. (Remember girls, if you want to be an excellent athlete, all you need is a boyfriend! That must be why I was a terrible athlete-I went to an all girls' school.) Later, the two of them go out. Jim tells Shelley how great she is and they kiss. As they do, Shelley realizes they are the same height. Apparently this is important. Shrug.
The next day, Jeffrey tries to convince Jim to submit a photo of Shelley to the competition. He says Jim could easily win and that the deadline is today. Jim doesn't understand why Jeffrey wants him to enter, since Jeffrey could win if he doesn't submit a photo. Jim doesn't know how awesome Jeffrey is! Jim knows he promised he wouldn't submit a photo of Shelley, but he wants the whole world to see how beautiful she is. Jeffrey sighs and says he can't force Jim into it. (Liz totally would!) Jim is torn.
On Friday, Liz and Olivia are in the Oracle office when Jim drops off his photograph for the competition. It is the one of Shelley. Olivia and Liz think it's great. And Olivia, stupidly, immediately goes and sees Shelley and tells her how great she looks in it. Shelley is furious that Jim betrayed her.
Jim catches up with Shelley after school, unaware that he's about to get a tongue lashing. Shelley yells at him for breaking his promise and says she can never trusted him again. She's all, I have never in my life yelled at a boy like this! etc. She thinks that Jim wasn't really interested in her, and just used her to take a photo and make her a laughingstock. She has some issues, I'm not gonna lie.
After the fight, awesome!Cathy talks to Shelley. She tells Shelley that she doesn't believe Jim used the photo to laugh at her. Because Shelley is tall, sure, but she's beautiful, like a fashion model. She agrees that Jim shouldn't have broken his promise to Shelley, but says that maybe photography is as important to Jim as basketball is to Shelley. Cathy is cool. I don't remember her ever being in another book, does anyone else?
That evening the phone rings at the Novak household. Shelley hopes it's Jim but it's just awesome!Cathy. Cathy wants to know why she doesn't just call Jim instead of waiting for him to call her. I told you she was awesome. Shelley relents and phones Jim. Jim apologizes for breaking his promise and tells Shelley he got Mr. Collins to take the photo out of the running at the last minute.
The next day, Shelley is sad. They had another playoff game that morning and Jim did not come. She tells Cathy she was so disappointed he wasn't there, that she would have even let him take her picture. She thinks she ruined her chances with him.
So, Shelley goes over to Mr. Collins's house. The ghostwriter says that Shelley “didn't feel uncomfortable going over to the Collinses to talk.” Yeah, “talk.” Mr. Collins answers the door (naked, no doubt) and promptly says Teddy is out riding his bike with friends (dirty!) and he invites her in for a cold drink (double dirty!). Shelley tells Mr. Collins that she's been thinking about the photo. She says she takes competition very seriously because she's an athlete and she thinks Jim ought to be allowed to compete. She wants Jim's picture put back in the running for the prize. I, personally, think this is very brave of her considering she is so self conscious and she hasn't even seen the photo in question. She might look like an albino prostitute or something.
At school, Shelley and Jim aren't speaking. Cathy says, “I guess you and I are going to the dance together, huh?” Hee. I love her.
On Wednesday, Mr. Collins comes to Liz and Jeffrey and says he has “news” for Jeffrey. Oh, I bet he has something for Jeffrey. Then he says he doesn't mind if Liz comes along too. (So dirty.) I'm sure you're all shocked--shocked--to learn that Jim has won the photography competition and that Jeffrey came in second. I know. Knock me over with a feather.
Jim, however, is truly surprised. He didn't even know he was still in the competition. The next day, he manages to track down Shelley and tell her. She is happy for him and he is confused. The two of them are mixing signals like whoa.
Next, there is a pep rally at school for the basketball team. Amy has invited Patrick the dance man to attend and for some reason he actually came. I can't think of anything more boring than a high school pep rally. His presence is making Jessica nervous and she keeps screwing up the moves. Formerly fat Robin tells her and Amy off. But they continue to squabble. Amy bets Jessica an outfit from Lisette's that she will get Patrick to dance with her at the dance. (I lied, a dance is more boring than a pep rally. Why would he attend?) I don't know why they continue to make these bets. They always end up looking like idiots.
Shelly's mother is really happy to learn Shelley's picture is going to be on the front page of the newspaper. She hopes it will make Shelley realize she is not a freak. Then she awesomely tells her daughter that next time she complains about being tall she's going to take her to the hospital and show her some kids with real problems. I am really surprised there are parents in Sweet Valley that know about real problems.
The next day, the newspaper comes out and everyone thinks the picture of Shelley is beautiful. Lila and Cara readily say so, as does Jessica. Amy sort of grudgingly admits she's pretty. Amy is such a bitch. But Shelley doesn't want to see the picture. She refuses to let Cathy show it to her. However, Cara, Lila and Winston come over to congratulate her. Lila tells her she could be a fashion model (she should go on ANTM!) and eventually Shelley plucks up enough confidence to take a look. She starts to cry when she sees it and the little interview with Jim. In the interview he describes her as “graceful” which has become like her buzzword or something. She realizes she's in love with Jim. Er, I like Jim and all but this makes me uncomfortable. She needs him to validate her and then she can be open to love? You suck, ghostwriter. I almost liked this book.
At the final playoff game, Shelley is playing badly because Jim is not there. And we all know women need a man present to perform capably. The two teams are tied when Cathy points out Jim in the stands. Shelley writes him a note (a note? For reals? Is the game being played in study hall?) telling him she liked the picture and wants to go to the dance with him. She makes Maria take it up to Jim for her. Jim smiles and Shelley when he reads it and her heart soars. Finally, with approval from a man, she can play basketball.
Sweet Valley wins the game because Shelley plays well. Apparently, she's the only one on the team so if she sucks, they lose. After it's over, a reporter wants to take her picture for the news but Shelley insists he let Jim do it. Er, wouldn't he just take it without asking her permission? It's news.
Then shit slice Greg shows up. He says he saw her picture in the paper and she looked like a dancer. Speaking of dancing, does she want to go to the dance with him? What a tool. She was in love with him for sixteen years and didn't notice but now that she's quasi-famous he wants a piece of her. She tells him no; she's going with Jim. Shelley and Jim kiss and make up.
Liz asks Jeffery if he's upset about finishing second in the contest. Of course he's not, he's super awesome! Then Liz leaves to get ready for the dance. Jessica has spent a lot of money on a brand new dress, that she's going to make Amy pay for when she wins their bet. She makes the dress sound so expensive I think he's made out of spun gold or unicorn fur or something.
When Shelley gets home from the basketball game, her mother surprises her with a new dress for the dance. And then she helps Shelley style her hair and put on makeup. Shelley looks in the mirror and says she can't believe that's her. Her mother says to remember it's not the dress or the makeup that makes her look beautiful, she just is. I'm shocked, that's pretty good parenting.
When Jessica gets to the dance she is horrified to see that Amy is wearing the same dress as her. They both pissed away all their money thinking the other would pay for it! Lila hilariously says to Jessica, “Don't you get enough of that twin stuff with your sister?” Hee. Have I mentioned I love Lila? Even worse for Jessica and Amy, Patrick arrives at the dance with a beautiful date. Apparently neither of them thought to ask if he already had a girlfriend. I must say I'm surprised too; I was positive he was gayer than J. Alexander. Oh, well, the girls go in to the dance. Remember to walk like it's for sale and the rent is due tonight!
The coach stands up at the dance and announces the award. Shelley is surprised to learn the award is not some rinky-dink plaque or something but a college fund. They're giving her $5,000! Not to shabby! And I imagine that was more money in the '80's too. Shelley thinks that with the team winning, her getting the award, and Jim's photograph taking first place the two of them can do anything. Or somesuch. We're all happy because we now know that Jim and Shelley love each other and eventually Shelley will gain more confidence. (And Elyse knows when that will happen. It's #2.)
Then we have the setup for the next book. Amy and Jessica are doing poorly in chemistry and they have to go on a trip to Anacapa Island.
This is Perfect Shot. Those people on the cover are female basketball star Shelley Novak and photographer Jim Roberts. Jim looks like he has plastic-Ken-doll hair. But Shelley! Look at those eyes! If she were on America's Next Top Model, Tyra would tell her she was “fierce!” (PS. I'm so happy that this recap will allow me to indulge my two cheesy loves of Sweet Valley High and America's Next Top Model.)
If you don't know where that lj-cut quote is from you need to stop reading this recap immediately and watch Tyra try to rap. In fact, I'm going to pepper this recap with some must-see ANTM clips for your viewing pleasure because I can.
Okay the book! Liz and Enid are in the SVH cafeteria searching for Liz's boyfriend, Jeffrey French. They just found out from Mr. Collins that the “Sweet Valley News” is sponsoring a photography competition. Apparently Jeffrey is an avid photographer. If anyone knew that before just now, please let me know. Oh, he's also an “excellent” soccer player and “one of Sweet Valley's most handsome juniors.” He's perfect! Too bad Liz ditches him three books from now!
Jeffrey already knew about it. Mr. Collins told his class too. Apparently Mr. Collins is going to act as a “liaison” between the students and the newspaper. That sounds dirty to me. Liz says Jeffrey is sure to win and he mocks her as biased. He also tells us the prize is a new video camera. He says he has someone he wants to take videos of and winks at Liz. Also dirty! SVH must be one big fuck fest.
Meanwhile, Amy is excited to learn there's a new dance studio in town (how many dance studios do they have? Like two per capita?). And the new teacher, Patrick, is giving free ballroom dance lessons as a promotion. Jessica thinks that sounds dull. She must hate Dancing With the Stars as much as I do. Amy reminds Jessica there is a dance coming up (duh!). Jessica agrees to go, with visions of romantic dancing at the dance.
At cheerleading practice, formerly fat Robin exposits that they will have a lot of cheering to do in the future because the girl's basketball team is in the playoffs. Shelley Novak is the star player. Amy says Shelley looks like a “beanpole” and won't be able to find a date to the dance, at which she is to get some contrived varsity award. She also says basketball isn't very “feminine” and cheerleading is much better. I hate Amy. We're told that Shelley is in Jessica and Amy's class but she doesn't “hang around” with them-only the other basketball team members. I bet they call her a dyke behind her back too.
Shelley is insecure about her looks. She talks about it with her friend, Cathy, in the locker room. Shelley is very tall, something I know absolutely nothing about as I'm actually two inches tall. But I digress, Shelley has a huge crush on her next door neighbor, Greg, who just broke up with his girlfriend. She wants to go out with him but thinks he'll never want to date her. Shelley says she's uncoordinated, which I think is lies because she'd need a lot of coordination to play basketball. She's going to try to take ballroom dance lessons to learn to be more graceful. This is good because I know models need to be able to dance in crappy music videos.
She runs into Greg on the way home and is flustered and embarrassed. Man, I know how that feels. Crushes are really annoying. She goes home to whine to her mother where we learn that Shelley is taller than Cathy (and Tyra Banks) who is five foot nine inches. Her mother gives her the “wait for the boys to have growth spurts” spiel which is lame. My mom used to tell me the same thing, except in reverse-wait until I had a growth spurt. I never had one. I don't think they exist, like the tooth fairy (spoiler!).
At ballroom dance class, the only guys who show up are Jeffrey (with Liz), Winston, Bruce, Greg, and Jim Roberts. That's actually a pretty good male turnout. I took a ballroom dance class in college and it was all girls. The instructor, Patrick, naturally turns out to be handsome so Jessica and Amy fall all over themselves. Don't they ever get sick of doing that? Patrick is “European” looking and has a diamond earring in his left earlobe. (Aside, in the 1980's-90's wasn't there one ear you pierced if you were gay and one you pierced if you were not? Which way did that go? I think Patrick is one of the gays.)
Patrick demonstrates the box step with Shelley. He has to show her how to do it first and says, “This is the position you assume...” and I don't even find out the rest of the sentence because I'm too busy having a giggle fit. This book is so dirty.
Shelley is upset because Greg is there with Carol, his ex-girlfriend who possibly doesn't need the “ex” prefix anymore. When they have to pair up, Shelley wants to dance with Greg but he goes off with Carol. Shelley is left with Jim, who is a photographer. Jim and Shelley are both bad dancers. There are many stepped on feet. Aw, that makes me think of Neville Longbottom for some reason. I like Jim already.
Greg and Shelley walk home together. Greg says he's not really sure if he's back together with Carol or not. Shelley plucks up the courage and asks him to the dance. He his shocked. He says he can't go with her because she needs to date someone taller. What crap. It makes me mad when people think tall girls can't be with short guys or vice versa. Greg, you're a height-ist, is what you are. Your parents must be ashamed of you. You shit slice. Upset, Shelley thinks she won't go to the dance, even if they are giving her an award. I feel really bad for her.
On Friday, the girls' basketball team has a practice for the game against Emerson High the next day. The coach says they have to play “one hundred and fifty percent.” Groan. People! It's mathematically impossible to give more than one hundred percent. I hate that expression. It's too much for me to with-handle.
Anyway, Shelley doesn't perform well at practice. Her confidence is shaken by jerky Greg's heightism. Poor Shell. She says she feels like “an alien.” Her friend Cathy, awesomely, realizes something is wrong and guesses it's Greg's fault. She calls him a dope, which isn't as good as a “shit slice,” in my opinion, but it will do.
The next day at the game, Sweet Valley is losing at the half but rally. With two minutes to go, they are only behind by two points. (For some reason I imagine, Todd running onto the court-all the way from Vermont- and sinking a three pointer at the buzzer, like he always seems to do.) Shelley has the chance to make a basket, and tie it up, but she misses and the other team gets the rebound. So now they're behind by four with about one minute to go.
The SVH coach calls time-out and calls the girls over. I really want him to tell them to assert their personhood but he doesn't. Lame. Shelley notices a boy (Jim) taking pictures and tries to hide her face because she hates having her picture taken. The coach's pep-talk doesn't do any good and Sweet Valley loses to the other team. I'm shocked. I didn't think Sweet Valley ever lost. Shelley is likewise crushed and feels responsible for missing that basket.
Jim continues to take pictures after the game, to Shelley's annoyance. She tells him to destroy that “roll” of film (hee! No digital cameras!). Jim apologizes and asks Shelley out. She sees Greg walk by at just that moment and agrees to go out with Jim, loudly, to make Greg notice. The shit slice, of course, pays no attention to her. But Shelley decides Jim seems nice enough and goes out with him anyway. She asks Jim about his photography and he tells her she's a great model and that she's “graceful.” Shelley thinks he's making fun of her, until she realizes he's serious. Aw.
Jeffrey and Liz are developing his photos in the dark room. Jeffrey took photos of the beach and Liz comments that she likes how “grainy” the sand looks. What? Isn't sad always grainy? I don't get it. Anyway, Jim arrives to develop his photos. Jeffrey is impressed by Jim's photos (one is of an elderly woman, and one is of Shelley leaping to make a basket). He says Jim should enter one in the competition, but Jim demurs. Have I mentioned that I like Jeffrey? He's encouraging Jim to compete against him and giving him praise!
Later, Shelley and Jim go on a second date to Miller's point. And if you think she's about to get raped, you have seriously misjudged Jim. No, he's there to take pictures of the view. He tries to snap pictures of her but she gets upset. She says she has a “phobia” about having her picture taken and makes him promise not to take any more. He realizes she is dead serious, and swears. But later he touches her cheek and tells her she is beautiful. Shelley begins to fall for him.
The next day, Shelley sees Jim in the cafeteria. He has developed his photos and says she looks like a model in the ones he took of her. She doesn't believe him and makes him swear to never show anyone the photos ever (anvil alert). Again, he apologizes and swears he won't show anyone.
Back at the boring B plot, Jessica and Amy are still in love with Patrick the dancer. They have that same fight they have in every book about how he loves Jessica/Amy more than he loves Amy/Jessica. But, of course, when they get to the lesson a lot more girls have shown up this time. They've all heard how hot Patrick is. Even Lila is there. They're practicing tango that day, and Patrick invites Jessica up to demonstrate with him. Jessica, always completely rational, thinks when they're married the tango will be “their” dance and they'll tell their children about it. But her attention is distracted and she screws up the dance. Amy makes fun of her. Normally, I hate Amy but I would totally make fun of her too. (As if I need to tell people who read my recaps that!)
On Thursday, the basketball team has a rematch against Emerson. This time Shelley plays really well and they thump them. Apparently, this is all because Jim makes her so happy. (Remember girls, if you want to be an excellent athlete, all you need is a boyfriend! That must be why I was a terrible athlete-I went to an all girls' school.) Later, the two of them go out. Jim tells Shelley how great she is and they kiss. As they do, Shelley realizes they are the same height. Apparently this is important. Shrug.
The next day, Jeffrey tries to convince Jim to submit a photo of Shelley to the competition. He says Jim could easily win and that the deadline is today. Jim doesn't understand why Jeffrey wants him to enter, since Jeffrey could win if he doesn't submit a photo. Jim doesn't know how awesome Jeffrey is! Jim knows he promised he wouldn't submit a photo of Shelley, but he wants the whole world to see how beautiful she is. Jeffrey sighs and says he can't force Jim into it. (Liz totally would!) Jim is torn.
On Friday, Liz and Olivia are in the Oracle office when Jim drops off his photograph for the competition. It is the one of Shelley. Olivia and Liz think it's great. And Olivia, stupidly, immediately goes and sees Shelley and tells her how great she looks in it. Shelley is furious that Jim betrayed her.
Jim catches up with Shelley after school, unaware that he's about to get a tongue lashing. Shelley yells at him for breaking his promise and says she can never trusted him again. She's all, I have never in my life yelled at a boy like this! etc. She thinks that Jim wasn't really interested in her, and just used her to take a photo and make her a laughingstock. She has some issues, I'm not gonna lie.
After the fight, awesome!Cathy talks to Shelley. She tells Shelley that she doesn't believe Jim used the photo to laugh at her. Because Shelley is tall, sure, but she's beautiful, like a fashion model. She agrees that Jim shouldn't have broken his promise to Shelley, but says that maybe photography is as important to Jim as basketball is to Shelley. Cathy is cool. I don't remember her ever being in another book, does anyone else?
That evening the phone rings at the Novak household. Shelley hopes it's Jim but it's just awesome!Cathy. Cathy wants to know why she doesn't just call Jim instead of waiting for him to call her. I told you she was awesome. Shelley relents and phones Jim. Jim apologizes for breaking his promise and tells Shelley he got Mr. Collins to take the photo out of the running at the last minute.
The next day, Shelley is sad. They had another playoff game that morning and Jim did not come. She tells Cathy she was so disappointed he wasn't there, that she would have even let him take her picture. She thinks she ruined her chances with him.
So, Shelley goes over to Mr. Collins's house. The ghostwriter says that Shelley “didn't feel uncomfortable going over to the Collinses to talk.” Yeah, “talk.” Mr. Collins answers the door (naked, no doubt) and promptly says Teddy is out riding his bike with friends (dirty!) and he invites her in for a cold drink (double dirty!). Shelley tells Mr. Collins that she's been thinking about the photo. She says she takes competition very seriously because she's an athlete and she thinks Jim ought to be allowed to compete. She wants Jim's picture put back in the running for the prize. I, personally, think this is very brave of her considering she is so self conscious and she hasn't even seen the photo in question. She might look like an albino prostitute or something.
At school, Shelley and Jim aren't speaking. Cathy says, “I guess you and I are going to the dance together, huh?” Hee. I love her.
On Wednesday, Mr. Collins comes to Liz and Jeffrey and says he has “news” for Jeffrey. Oh, I bet he has something for Jeffrey. Then he says he doesn't mind if Liz comes along too. (So dirty.) I'm sure you're all shocked--shocked--to learn that Jim has won the photography competition and that Jeffrey came in second. I know. Knock me over with a feather.
Jim, however, is truly surprised. He didn't even know he was still in the competition. The next day, he manages to track down Shelley and tell her. She is happy for him and he is confused. The two of them are mixing signals like whoa.
Next, there is a pep rally at school for the basketball team. Amy has invited Patrick the dance man to attend and for some reason he actually came. I can't think of anything more boring than a high school pep rally. His presence is making Jessica nervous and she keeps screwing up the moves. Formerly fat Robin tells her and Amy off. But they continue to squabble. Amy bets Jessica an outfit from Lisette's that she will get Patrick to dance with her at the dance. (I lied, a dance is more boring than a pep rally. Why would he attend?) I don't know why they continue to make these bets. They always end up looking like idiots.
Shelly's mother is really happy to learn Shelley's picture is going to be on the front page of the newspaper. She hopes it will make Shelley realize she is not a freak. Then she awesomely tells her daughter that next time she complains about being tall she's going to take her to the hospital and show her some kids with real problems. I am really surprised there are parents in Sweet Valley that know about real problems.
The next day, the newspaper comes out and everyone thinks the picture of Shelley is beautiful. Lila and Cara readily say so, as does Jessica. Amy sort of grudgingly admits she's pretty. Amy is such a bitch. But Shelley doesn't want to see the picture. She refuses to let Cathy show it to her. However, Cara, Lila and Winston come over to congratulate her. Lila tells her she could be a fashion model (she should go on ANTM!) and eventually Shelley plucks up enough confidence to take a look. She starts to cry when she sees it and the little interview with Jim. In the interview he describes her as “graceful” which has become like her buzzword or something. She realizes she's in love with Jim. Er, I like Jim and all but this makes me uncomfortable. She needs him to validate her and then she can be open to love? You suck, ghostwriter. I almost liked this book.
At the final playoff game, Shelley is playing badly because Jim is not there. And we all know women need a man present to perform capably. The two teams are tied when Cathy points out Jim in the stands. Shelley writes him a note (a note? For reals? Is the game being played in study hall?) telling him she liked the picture and wants to go to the dance with him. She makes Maria take it up to Jim for her. Jim smiles and Shelley when he reads it and her heart soars. Finally, with approval from a man, she can play basketball.
Sweet Valley wins the game because Shelley plays well. Apparently, she's the only one on the team so if she sucks, they lose. After it's over, a reporter wants to take her picture for the news but Shelley insists he let Jim do it. Er, wouldn't he just take it without asking her permission? It's news.
Then shit slice Greg shows up. He says he saw her picture in the paper and she looked like a dancer. Speaking of dancing, does she want to go to the dance with him? What a tool. She was in love with him for sixteen years and didn't notice but now that she's quasi-famous he wants a piece of her. She tells him no; she's going with Jim. Shelley and Jim kiss and make up.
Liz asks Jeffery if he's upset about finishing second in the contest. Of course he's not, he's super awesome! Then Liz leaves to get ready for the dance. Jessica has spent a lot of money on a brand new dress, that she's going to make Amy pay for when she wins their bet. She makes the dress sound so expensive I think he's made out of spun gold or unicorn fur or something.
When Shelley gets home from the basketball game, her mother surprises her with a new dress for the dance. And then she helps Shelley style her hair and put on makeup. Shelley looks in the mirror and says she can't believe that's her. Her mother says to remember it's not the dress or the makeup that makes her look beautiful, she just is. I'm shocked, that's pretty good parenting.
When Jessica gets to the dance she is horrified to see that Amy is wearing the same dress as her. They both pissed away all their money thinking the other would pay for it! Lila hilariously says to Jessica, “Don't you get enough of that twin stuff with your sister?” Hee. Have I mentioned I love Lila? Even worse for Jessica and Amy, Patrick arrives at the dance with a beautiful date. Apparently neither of them thought to ask if he already had a girlfriend. I must say I'm surprised too; I was positive he was gayer than J. Alexander. Oh, well, the girls go in to the dance. Remember to walk like it's for sale and the rent is due tonight!
The coach stands up at the dance and announces the award. Shelley is surprised to learn the award is not some rinky-dink plaque or something but a college fund. They're giving her $5,000! Not to shabby! And I imagine that was more money in the '80's too. Shelley thinks that with the team winning, her getting the award, and Jim's photograph taking first place the two of them can do anything. Or somesuch. We're all happy because we now know that Jim and Shelley love each other and eventually Shelley will gain more confidence. (And Elyse knows when that will happen. It's #2.)
Then we have the setup for the next book. Amy and Jessica are doing poorly in chemistry and they have to go on a trip to Anacapa Island.