Sweet Valley Twins No. 3 - The Haunted House! Scary.
This is my first recap, so bear with me. I figured for all the hours of enjoyment and boredom relief you all have brought me, I owed you one (maybe more, but the used bookstore only had two Sweet Valley Twins and the rest were lame-o SV Jr. High).
However, one of the two was one of my favorites as a kid: Sweet Valley Twins: THE HAUNTED HOUSE. Number three! Woot! I vividly remember reading this. I wanted to name my first baby Nora. (Never Elizabeth or Jessica - those names are so common.) Also, attention, all Lila-lovers - this book is Lila, Lila, Lila! For those who really love Lila, she turns a girl into her slave in this book. Yep. You, too, could be Lila’s slave - if that’s what you’re into, I mean.
Onward with the recap! The book starts with our heroines Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield riding their bikes home from the library. They’re going to be late, but when their Mom, Alice, sees how much work they’ve done on their reports, she won’t mind. C’mon, girls - we all know she wouldn’t care even if you came home late every day. Anyway, the twins are very well known in Sweet Valley, and no one can tell them apart. Jess is wearing her hair curly these days. What does her hair on the cover look like? Straight as a stick. Blah, blah, more about how they’re the same but different.
They’re riding down yet another gorgeous SV street with yet another spooky mansion. This one is the Mercandy mansion and has a reputation for being haunted - there are often strange lights and shadows seen moving about in the attic and the owners never come out. The old lady who lives there is a witch and last week a taxi was seen dropping of a girl about the twins’ age so they’re very interested in all this. Who could it be? As the twins are watching, the girl comes out. Jess pretends to tie her shoe so she and Liz can stare. Jessica sums up the scene nicely: “It’s a creepy name and a creepy place, and everybody who lives there is creepy. I can’t keep tying my shoe all day...I’m beginning to feel like an idiot!” Beginning to? OK, that didn’t really sum up the scene all that well, I just wanted to quote Jess calling herself an idiot. Jessica runs home and gets on the phone with the Unicorn Club, and they talk trash about the Mercandys.
Turns out, the girl is Nora Mercandy and she’s just moved to Sweet Valley. Her grandparents are the Mercandy's and she’s come to live with them. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that she’s had to move across the country to a new town, to live with much older grandparents, who don’t have much money, and her father died when she was a baby and her mother just died A MONTH AGO. This poor girl is tormented in the coming pages and her mother just died! Good one, ghostwriter. I mean, why couldn’t everyone be a little nicer to her? Geez. And Lila is the worst! Doesn’t she have mother issues of her own? You think she would be a little more understanding. Ok, never mind, this is Lila we’re talking about...you’ll see. I didn’t like Lila very much after this book. Just sayin’.
So, Jess is out sick on Nora’s first day. Remember that little detail - wacky twin hijinx ahead! The teacher asks for a volunteer to show Nora around and since no one else volunteers, Liz takes pity on her - *clearing throat*: “Elizabeth, unable to bear Nora’s embarrassment any longer, slowly raised her hand.”
Lila and the other Unicorns make it clear right from the start they don’t like Nora. They think she’s a witch, she’s dressed in old clothes, she’s unfortunately from Pennsylvania and we know how the Vania raises people’s ire! She even gets off on the wrong foot with the teachers and doesn’t have a gym suit to wear in gym class. Elizabeth promises to bring her an extra one the next say.
When Liz gets home, Jess already knows the deal on Nora from that friendly Caroline Pearce. Jess thinks she’s a witch, blah evilcakes. Liz asks that Jess give her a chance. In another plot contrivance, Liz’s best friend, Amy, happened to be out the same day as Jess and so also did not get a chance to meet Nora. And Liz gets Jess’ cold and has to stay home the next day. So the only two people who would possibly have been nice to Nora - one is out sick and Amy didn’t get to meet her. She’s on her own. Liz does make Jess promise to give Nora the gym suit. (Of course, Jess forgets.)
The next say, Nora can’t figure out why Liz, who was so keen on putting down Lila and the Unicorns the day before, is now walking around with them, eating lunch with them, etc., and pretends like Nora doesn’t even exist. Liz mentioned that she had a sister but didn’t say she was a twin and since Nora is such a social pariah no one has told her about the twins.
Since this is book three this is the first real Halloween of the Sixth Grade! The “slightly overweight” Jerry McCallister wants to know if there will be food at the party. Yes, but the main attraction will be pool pushing. And costumes! And prizes, too. Sounds kinda lame for a SV party...I guess they are only 12.
Jess finally gets around to apologizing to Nora for not bringing the suit and to explain about her and Liz being identical twins and all. The unicorns have already messed with her head so much that she thinks that this is a trick, no!, not a trick, they’re identical.
The Unicorns see Jess talking to Nora and give her shit about it. I just love the dialogue in this book - “‘Why were you talking to the Mercandy witch?’, Ellen wanted to know. [Jess explains about the gym suit] ‘The witch can’t even afford a gym suit?’, Ellen sneered.” She sneered! Lila says, “I bet it’s a trick. She probably wants your gym suit so she can work black magic on you!” Jess tells Lila that’s stupid and Lila gets in her face, accusing Jess of “defending the Mercandy name” and Jess backs down. She doesn’t want to get on the Unicorn’s bad side. I’m guessing that’s the side with the horn.
What the hell is a gym suit, anyway?
So, because so many kids are out that day, the teacher lets Nora play without a gym suit. She gets paired up with Lila, and Lila is all “I am such a fantastic tennis player. I’ve got my own court.” Real braggy like. She wants to bet Nora that she’ll win.
Now this is where things get interesting! Turns out Nora is a really good tennis player. I wasn’t expecting that! She foolishly agrees to the bet. Honey, I don’t care how good you are at tennis, nobody but nobody beats Lila Fowler at scheming! (Except perhaps Alexis Carrington Colby.) And really, Lila - if she was a witch, would you really want to mess with her? Onward!
The bet is for this expensive pen from George (Lila’s dad). How I wanted this pen as a child! It’s an expensive cloisonné pen and sounds just like something every nerdy bookworm child such as myself wants to use when they write in their journal. After Lila loses - badly: “Lila’s face was red with rage. She screamed, ‘Just wait, Mercandy witch...I’ll get you!’” But a few minutes later she’s all smiles and gives Nora the pen. Oh, poor, stoopid Nora.
Chapter Four of Twelve! Elizabeth is back and Nora is feeling a little better about everything...too bad Lila doesn’t believe that revenge is a dish best served cold. She likes it piping hot! Lila tells the teacher that her pen was stolen, and when Nora pulls it out, has a fit. The teacher takes Nora out into the hallway to talk and while they’re gone, the rumors fly. There’s one about how Janet (Unicorn prez and Lila’s cousin) lives next door to the Mercandys and her cat died that morning - after being seen in Nora’s arms. Then another kid chimes in and says his uncle is an undertaker at the local mortuary and that when the Mercandys moved in they ordered two coffins. Ok, this kid’s uncle is an undertaker? Why isn’t anyone picking on him but everyone is giving this poor motherless girl such a hard time? Even the teachers don’t stick up her - when Nora and the teacher come back in the room, she and Lila are sent to the principal’s office and Lila does her sweetness and light sunshine and lollipops routine while Nora gets a lecture.
The school’s star tennis player (Rick Hunter) has heard about Nora’s skillz and doesn’t seem to know or care about the witch rumors, he just wants someone good to play tennis with and asks to play with her sometime. Little does Nora know that the reason Lila is so keen on tennis in the first place is that she has a crush on said star Rick. But before Lila even finds out about the tennis date, she switches her name with Nora’s on their math test. Imagine how much worse it will be when Lila hears about Nora and Rick. I mean, at this point, sure, Nora beat Lila at tennis but the bigger story was that she was good at tennis, NOT that she beat Lila. Although Liz did seem to get a kick out of the beating.
[I know I am putting way too much energy into psychoanalyzing the complex mind that is Lila Fowler’s. I’ll try and stop. When you’re that money, the rest of us should just roll, right? Right.]
Liz has been begging Jess to be nice to Nora and not treat her like the other Unicorns have been and Jess says she’ll think about it. Really - like the Unicorns care! They’re the prettiest, most popular girls in school and they can do whatever they want. Right now they’re having a good laugh listening to Lila talk about switching the tests. Jess doesn’t say anything and then Lila says she’s got more in store for the Mercandy witch. Nora gets another lecture from another teacher about failing the test and tells Liz what happens. Liz counsels Nora to stand up to Lila or the harassment will never stop.
Nora just doesn’t understand why everyone is being mean to her. The new kid. With the dead mother. And no father. With poor people’s clothes. Who lives in a spooky mansion. With a witch. “Why, why, why?” she angsts. Liz gently explains some of the rumors about Nora’s family and Nora tells Liz she wants to invite the Unicorns over. “Don’t you see? If they met my grandmother, all of these silly rumors would stop!” *clears throat* “Elizabeth felt a rush of pity at the hopeful look on Nora’s face.” But rather than help the poor girl come up with a decent plan, she agrees to Nora’s idea to convince all the cool kids to come over to her decrepit old mansion for punch. Thanks much Liz.
Liz convinces Jess to get all the Unicorns over to the Mercandy’s at two that day. Jess goes over to Lila’s house and then the Unicorns talk about starting the Boosters Club (Lila’s idea, BTW). Jess casually mentions Nora’s invitation and the Unicorns agree to go but only to peek through the fence, not to actually go into Nora’s backyard. On the way they meet some randoms - Bruce Patman, along with some other hanger-ons. His entourage, if you will. When they get there, Liz and Amy convince them all to come in but not until they’ve made some incredibly rude comments about the witch having a tea party. Kids can be so cruel. They won’t even eat the cookies because they could be poisoned. Amy and Liz roll their eyes so hard they fall out. No, that doesn’t happen but wouldn’t it be cool and prove the witch stuff true once and for all!
Everyone is finally calming down; Bruce and Lila are about to eat a cookie - when an old man in a black suit bursts out of the house, walking stiffly and chanting one word over and over. The kids FREAK and start screaming about how it’s a zombie. Pandemonium! Nora starts crying and even Amy and Elizabeth take off. I mean, Nora told them they should leave, but still.
On Monday morning the zombie rumor is hot property and it’s all over school. Each person who tells it adds their own spin and makes it a little worse. “He was chanting murder!” “He looked liked Frankenstein’s monster!” “He tried to date rape me and push me in the pool!”
The Unicorns now think Nora was trying to make them look bad, and they can’t have that and decide to play another trick on her. Conveniently, Liz and Amy are not in school that day - they’re working on a special issue of the paper. Of course they are. Because every school lets you skip classes all day for extra-curricular activities. The Unicorns corner Nora in the locker room and tell her they’re going to punish her for tricking them. They are really bullying her, telling her to shut up and wait for Lila’s orders. They tell her she’s going to be the Unicorn’s slave, and has she has to cut class and get their favorite cookies from a bakery across town. I guess this is before the JEM cookies. If Nora doesn’t do what they say, they threaten to frame her for stealing Lila’s wallet. Lila knows the combo to Nora’s locker! Nora doesn’t have any money to buy the cookies. “We know,” Lila says. Noice.
When she brings the cookies back, Lila says, “Well done slave.” Lila spoke like a queen. That spoke like a queen part is actually in the book.
Later at Casa Wakefield Liz asks Jessica if she gave Nora her message about being busy working on the paper. Apparently, Liz was at school and knows that they all hate Nora but couldn’t take five minutes from working on the Sixers to go tell Nora she’s busy. Real nice, Liz. I know why we all liked Liz the best when we were kids - because we were bookworm nerds just like she is. I hope to God I was never this bitchy to my “friends”. At school the next day she and Amy aren’t superbusy so they manage to fit in lunch with Nora. Nora had thought they didn’t want to be friends with her anymore after the zombie incident. Sheesh. Nora reveals her “slave” status and Jessica’s part in it. Elizabeth says she can’t defend Jessica this time and says that if her parents ever found out, Jess would be in big trouble. So why don’t you say something, Liz? You don’t actually have to tell your parents, just threaten to! Do something, you meddler!
The next day the Unicorns are up to something horrible, you just know it. They tell Nora they want her to be their friend and invite her to sit with them. Nora goes along with it. Even Bruce is in on it and is being all nice. We know what he wants when he’s nice!
So, Lila invites Nora to her Halloween party and suggests that Nora dress as a witch. “To put the rumors to rest and show Nora doesn’t really care.” When Nora goes to the bathroom, it turns out they’re just being nice to her as part of their revenge scheme. No, you don’t say! They’re going to do something to the Mercandy Mansion. Jess is not in on this but she doesn’t tell them NOT to do it either.
All right. It’s Halloween. Finally, it’s here! Jessica, Lila, Ellen are hula girls. Elizabeth is a clown. Nora does come as a witch and apparently it’s a great getup, real authentic. Nora is all excited talking to Liz about the party because she finally thinks she’s made some friends or at least doesn’t have enemies. When Nora walks into the classroom, Lila turns off her boom box and stares at Nora and everyone else does too. Instead of putting the rumors to rest this just made things worse! The teacher gives up all pretense of “learning” and just lets the kids have a party.
Later on at the party, The Unicorns are still being nice to Nora despite the little music thing. They still think she’s a witch…why would someone have such an “authentic” costume just hanging around if they weren’t? Lila is talking to Rick Hunter, her crush, but he just thinks she’s dumb and wants to talk to Nora. The Unicorns also take some time to talk about Ken Matthews and how he’s so short he’s practically a midget. That’s our Sweet Valley - so PC!
As soon as Bruce and his goons slip away from the party, the Unis start to be mean to Nora. Nora slowly starts to realize what’s going on when she overhears some people talking about spray paint, rotten eggs and so on. Nora screams that she hates Lila, hates them all! And she runs out after Bruce to stop them from hurting her grandparents. Liz STILL hesitates and then runs out. Jess runs after Liz, ignoring Lila’s orders not to go. Jess believes that something terrible might happen to Liz at the Mercandy Mansion on Halloween! Lila and the rest of the party follow Jess - the whole three blocks to Nora’s. They get there just in time to see Lizzie swallowed up by the sinister darkness that is the Mercandy Mansion!
The kids suck up their courage and go in to save Liz. They run to the attic! There are pictures of a magician on every wall. Turns out - Nora’s grandfather used to be the most famous magician in the world! When he was a boy, he worked with Houdini! People have heard of Houdini, as he actually is the most famous magician in the world, not “Marvelous Marvin.” Nora finally gets a chance to explain that her grandfather had a stroke that affects his speech and mobility and that’s why he acts the way he does. He’s been teaching Nora some of his tricks and that’s why there are lights in the attic, it’s where they practice. She does some of the tricks. Good lord, if that doesn’t brand her as a nerd, nothing will! Oh yeah, the coffins that were delivered are part of the act. Nora saws Elizabeth in half but Liz manages to survive to meddle another day.
After all this, Lila does not apologize, she just says, “Uh, I guess you’re not a witch after all.” That’s right, Lila, don’t back down. Everything wraps up, Nora is happy, the Mercandys are happy…and we never hear from them again! Next up: Amy shows an interest in being a Booster and Elizabeth worries she will lose her friend! Oh noes!
Wow, having now finished my first recap, I have to say that for all you wannabe re-cappers out there...the snark really starts flowing once you get going! And I’m sorry it got so long…I hope to get better at it and I hope I did all you wonderful recappers justice!
However, one of the two was one of my favorites as a kid: Sweet Valley Twins: THE HAUNTED HOUSE. Number three! Woot! I vividly remember reading this. I wanted to name my first baby Nora. (Never Elizabeth or Jessica - those names are so common.) Also, attention, all Lila-lovers - this book is Lila, Lila, Lila! For those who really love Lila, she turns a girl into her slave in this book. Yep. You, too, could be Lila’s slave - if that’s what you’re into, I mean.
Onward with the recap! The book starts with our heroines Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield riding their bikes home from the library. They’re going to be late, but when their Mom, Alice, sees how much work they’ve done on their reports, she won’t mind. C’mon, girls - we all know she wouldn’t care even if you came home late every day. Anyway, the twins are very well known in Sweet Valley, and no one can tell them apart. Jess is wearing her hair curly these days. What does her hair on the cover look like? Straight as a stick. Blah, blah, more about how they’re the same but different.
They’re riding down yet another gorgeous SV street with yet another spooky mansion. This one is the Mercandy mansion and has a reputation for being haunted - there are often strange lights and shadows seen moving about in the attic and the owners never come out. The old lady who lives there is a witch and last week a taxi was seen dropping of a girl about the twins’ age so they’re very interested in all this. Who could it be? As the twins are watching, the girl comes out. Jess pretends to tie her shoe so she and Liz can stare. Jessica sums up the scene nicely: “It’s a creepy name and a creepy place, and everybody who lives there is creepy. I can’t keep tying my shoe all day...I’m beginning to feel like an idiot!” Beginning to? OK, that didn’t really sum up the scene all that well, I just wanted to quote Jess calling herself an idiot. Jessica runs home and gets on the phone with the Unicorn Club, and they talk trash about the Mercandys.
Turns out, the girl is Nora Mercandy and she’s just moved to Sweet Valley. Her grandparents are the Mercandy's and she’s come to live with them. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that she’s had to move across the country to a new town, to live with much older grandparents, who don’t have much money, and her father died when she was a baby and her mother just died A MONTH AGO. This poor girl is tormented in the coming pages and her mother just died! Good one, ghostwriter. I mean, why couldn’t everyone be a little nicer to her? Geez. And Lila is the worst! Doesn’t she have mother issues of her own? You think she would be a little more understanding. Ok, never mind, this is Lila we’re talking about...you’ll see. I didn’t like Lila very much after this book. Just sayin’.
So, Jess is out sick on Nora’s first day. Remember that little detail - wacky twin hijinx ahead! The teacher asks for a volunteer to show Nora around and since no one else volunteers, Liz takes pity on her - *clearing throat*: “Elizabeth, unable to bear Nora’s embarrassment any longer, slowly raised her hand.”
Lila and the other Unicorns make it clear right from the start they don’t like Nora. They think she’s a witch, she’s dressed in old clothes, she’s unfortunately from Pennsylvania and we know how the Vania raises people’s ire! She even gets off on the wrong foot with the teachers and doesn’t have a gym suit to wear in gym class. Elizabeth promises to bring her an extra one the next say.
When Liz gets home, Jess already knows the deal on Nora from that friendly Caroline Pearce. Jess thinks she’s a witch, blah evilcakes. Liz asks that Jess give her a chance. In another plot contrivance, Liz’s best friend, Amy, happened to be out the same day as Jess and so also did not get a chance to meet Nora. And Liz gets Jess’ cold and has to stay home the next day. So the only two people who would possibly have been nice to Nora - one is out sick and Amy didn’t get to meet her. She’s on her own. Liz does make Jess promise to give Nora the gym suit. (Of course, Jess forgets.)
The next say, Nora can’t figure out why Liz, who was so keen on putting down Lila and the Unicorns the day before, is now walking around with them, eating lunch with them, etc., and pretends like Nora doesn’t even exist. Liz mentioned that she had a sister but didn’t say she was a twin and since Nora is such a social pariah no one has told her about the twins.
Since this is book three this is the first real Halloween of the Sixth Grade! The “slightly overweight” Jerry McCallister wants to know if there will be food at the party. Yes, but the main attraction will be pool pushing. And costumes! And prizes, too. Sounds kinda lame for a SV party...I guess they are only 12.
Jess finally gets around to apologizing to Nora for not bringing the suit and to explain about her and Liz being identical twins and all. The unicorns have already messed with her head so much that she thinks that this is a trick, no!, not a trick, they’re identical.
The Unicorns see Jess talking to Nora and give her shit about it. I just love the dialogue in this book - “‘Why were you talking to the Mercandy witch?’, Ellen wanted to know. [Jess explains about the gym suit] ‘The witch can’t even afford a gym suit?’, Ellen sneered.” She sneered! Lila says, “I bet it’s a trick. She probably wants your gym suit so she can work black magic on you!” Jess tells Lila that’s stupid and Lila gets in her face, accusing Jess of “defending the Mercandy name” and Jess backs down. She doesn’t want to get on the Unicorn’s bad side. I’m guessing that’s the side with the horn.
What the hell is a gym suit, anyway?
So, because so many kids are out that day, the teacher lets Nora play without a gym suit. She gets paired up with Lila, and Lila is all “I am such a fantastic tennis player. I’ve got my own court.” Real braggy like. She wants to bet Nora that she’ll win.
Now this is where things get interesting! Turns out Nora is a really good tennis player. I wasn’t expecting that! She foolishly agrees to the bet. Honey, I don’t care how good you are at tennis, nobody but nobody beats Lila Fowler at scheming! (Except perhaps Alexis Carrington Colby.) And really, Lila - if she was a witch, would you really want to mess with her? Onward!
The bet is for this expensive pen from George (Lila’s dad). How I wanted this pen as a child! It’s an expensive cloisonné pen and sounds just like something every nerdy bookworm child such as myself wants to use when they write in their journal. After Lila loses - badly: “Lila’s face was red with rage. She screamed, ‘Just wait, Mercandy witch...I’ll get you!’” But a few minutes later she’s all smiles and gives Nora the pen. Oh, poor, stoopid Nora.
Chapter Four of Twelve! Elizabeth is back and Nora is feeling a little better about everything...too bad Lila doesn’t believe that revenge is a dish best served cold. She likes it piping hot! Lila tells the teacher that her pen was stolen, and when Nora pulls it out, has a fit. The teacher takes Nora out into the hallway to talk and while they’re gone, the rumors fly. There’s one about how Janet (Unicorn prez and Lila’s cousin) lives next door to the Mercandys and her cat died that morning - after being seen in Nora’s arms. Then another kid chimes in and says his uncle is an undertaker at the local mortuary and that when the Mercandys moved in they ordered two coffins. Ok, this kid’s uncle is an undertaker? Why isn’t anyone picking on him but everyone is giving this poor motherless girl such a hard time? Even the teachers don’t stick up her - when Nora and the teacher come back in the room, she and Lila are sent to the principal’s office and Lila does her sweetness and light sunshine and lollipops routine while Nora gets a lecture.
The school’s star tennis player (Rick Hunter) has heard about Nora’s skillz and doesn’t seem to know or care about the witch rumors, he just wants someone good to play tennis with and asks to play with her sometime. Little does Nora know that the reason Lila is so keen on tennis in the first place is that she has a crush on said star Rick. But before Lila even finds out about the tennis date, she switches her name with Nora’s on their math test. Imagine how much worse it will be when Lila hears about Nora and Rick. I mean, at this point, sure, Nora beat Lila at tennis but the bigger story was that she was good at tennis, NOT that she beat Lila. Although Liz did seem to get a kick out of the beating.
[I know I am putting way too much energy into psychoanalyzing the complex mind that is Lila Fowler’s. I’ll try and stop. When you’re that money, the rest of us should just roll, right? Right.]
Liz has been begging Jess to be nice to Nora and not treat her like the other Unicorns have been and Jess says she’ll think about it. Really - like the Unicorns care! They’re the prettiest, most popular girls in school and they can do whatever they want. Right now they’re having a good laugh listening to Lila talk about switching the tests. Jess doesn’t say anything and then Lila says she’s got more in store for the Mercandy witch. Nora gets another lecture from another teacher about failing the test and tells Liz what happens. Liz counsels Nora to stand up to Lila or the harassment will never stop.
Nora just doesn’t understand why everyone is being mean to her. The new kid. With the dead mother. And no father. With poor people’s clothes. Who lives in a spooky mansion. With a witch. “Why, why, why?” she angsts. Liz gently explains some of the rumors about Nora’s family and Nora tells Liz she wants to invite the Unicorns over. “Don’t you see? If they met my grandmother, all of these silly rumors would stop!” *clears throat* “Elizabeth felt a rush of pity at the hopeful look on Nora’s face.” But rather than help the poor girl come up with a decent plan, she agrees to Nora’s idea to convince all the cool kids to come over to her decrepit old mansion for punch. Thanks much Liz.
Liz convinces Jess to get all the Unicorns over to the Mercandy’s at two that day. Jess goes over to Lila’s house and then the Unicorns talk about starting the Boosters Club (Lila’s idea, BTW). Jess casually mentions Nora’s invitation and the Unicorns agree to go but only to peek through the fence, not to actually go into Nora’s backyard. On the way they meet some randoms - Bruce Patman, along with some other hanger-ons. His entourage, if you will. When they get there, Liz and Amy convince them all to come in but not until they’ve made some incredibly rude comments about the witch having a tea party. Kids can be so cruel. They won’t even eat the cookies because they could be poisoned. Amy and Liz roll their eyes so hard they fall out. No, that doesn’t happen but wouldn’t it be cool and prove the witch stuff true once and for all!
Everyone is finally calming down; Bruce and Lila are about to eat a cookie - when an old man in a black suit bursts out of the house, walking stiffly and chanting one word over and over. The kids FREAK and start screaming about how it’s a zombie. Pandemonium! Nora starts crying and even Amy and Elizabeth take off. I mean, Nora told them they should leave, but still.
On Monday morning the zombie rumor is hot property and it’s all over school. Each person who tells it adds their own spin and makes it a little worse. “He was chanting murder!” “He looked liked Frankenstein’s monster!” “He tried to date rape me and push me in the pool!”
The Unicorns now think Nora was trying to make them look bad, and they can’t have that and decide to play another trick on her. Conveniently, Liz and Amy are not in school that day - they’re working on a special issue of the paper. Of course they are. Because every school lets you skip classes all day for extra-curricular activities. The Unicorns corner Nora in the locker room and tell her they’re going to punish her for tricking them. They are really bullying her, telling her to shut up and wait for Lila’s orders. They tell her she’s going to be the Unicorn’s slave, and has she has to cut class and get their favorite cookies from a bakery across town. I guess this is before the JEM cookies. If Nora doesn’t do what they say, they threaten to frame her for stealing Lila’s wallet. Lila knows the combo to Nora’s locker! Nora doesn’t have any money to buy the cookies. “We know,” Lila says. Noice.
When she brings the cookies back, Lila says, “Well done slave.” Lila spoke like a queen. That spoke like a queen part is actually in the book.
Later at Casa Wakefield Liz asks Jessica if she gave Nora her message about being busy working on the paper. Apparently, Liz was at school and knows that they all hate Nora but couldn’t take five minutes from working on the Sixers to go tell Nora she’s busy. Real nice, Liz. I know why we all liked Liz the best when we were kids - because we were bookworm nerds just like she is. I hope to God I was never this bitchy to my “friends”. At school the next day she and Amy aren’t superbusy so they manage to fit in lunch with Nora. Nora had thought they didn’t want to be friends with her anymore after the zombie incident. Sheesh. Nora reveals her “slave” status and Jessica’s part in it. Elizabeth says she can’t defend Jessica this time and says that if her parents ever found out, Jess would be in big trouble. So why don’t you say something, Liz? You don’t actually have to tell your parents, just threaten to! Do something, you meddler!
The next day the Unicorns are up to something horrible, you just know it. They tell Nora they want her to be their friend and invite her to sit with them. Nora goes along with it. Even Bruce is in on it and is being all nice. We know what he wants when he’s nice!
So, Lila invites Nora to her Halloween party and suggests that Nora dress as a witch. “To put the rumors to rest and show Nora doesn’t really care.” When Nora goes to the bathroom, it turns out they’re just being nice to her as part of their revenge scheme. No, you don’t say! They’re going to do something to the Mercandy Mansion. Jess is not in on this but she doesn’t tell them NOT to do it either.
All right. It’s Halloween. Finally, it’s here! Jessica, Lila, Ellen are hula girls. Elizabeth is a clown. Nora does come as a witch and apparently it’s a great getup, real authentic. Nora is all excited talking to Liz about the party because she finally thinks she’s made some friends or at least doesn’t have enemies. When Nora walks into the classroom, Lila turns off her boom box and stares at Nora and everyone else does too. Instead of putting the rumors to rest this just made things worse! The teacher gives up all pretense of “learning” and just lets the kids have a party.
Later on at the party, The Unicorns are still being nice to Nora despite the little music thing. They still think she’s a witch…why would someone have such an “authentic” costume just hanging around if they weren’t? Lila is talking to Rick Hunter, her crush, but he just thinks she’s dumb and wants to talk to Nora. The Unicorns also take some time to talk about Ken Matthews and how he’s so short he’s practically a midget. That’s our Sweet Valley - so PC!
As soon as Bruce and his goons slip away from the party, the Unis start to be mean to Nora. Nora slowly starts to realize what’s going on when she overhears some people talking about spray paint, rotten eggs and so on. Nora screams that she hates Lila, hates them all! And she runs out after Bruce to stop them from hurting her grandparents. Liz STILL hesitates and then runs out. Jess runs after Liz, ignoring Lila’s orders not to go. Jess believes that something terrible might happen to Liz at the Mercandy Mansion on Halloween! Lila and the rest of the party follow Jess - the whole three blocks to Nora’s. They get there just in time to see Lizzie swallowed up by the sinister darkness that is the Mercandy Mansion!
The kids suck up their courage and go in to save Liz. They run to the attic! There are pictures of a magician on every wall. Turns out - Nora’s grandfather used to be the most famous magician in the world! When he was a boy, he worked with Houdini! People have heard of Houdini, as he actually is the most famous magician in the world, not “Marvelous Marvin.” Nora finally gets a chance to explain that her grandfather had a stroke that affects his speech and mobility and that’s why he acts the way he does. He’s been teaching Nora some of his tricks and that’s why there are lights in the attic, it’s where they practice. She does some of the tricks. Good lord, if that doesn’t brand her as a nerd, nothing will! Oh yeah, the coffins that were delivered are part of the act. Nora saws Elizabeth in half but Liz manages to survive to meddle another day.
After all this, Lila does not apologize, she just says, “Uh, I guess you’re not a witch after all.” That’s right, Lila, don’t back down. Everything wraps up, Nora is happy, the Mercandys are happy…and we never hear from them again! Next up: Amy shows an interest in being a Booster and Elizabeth worries she will lose her friend! Oh noes!
Wow, having now finished my first recap, I have to say that for all you wannabe re-cappers out there...the snark really starts flowing once you get going! And I’m sorry it got so long…I hope to get better at it and I hope I did all you wonderful recappers justice!