SVH #23 Say Goodbye
In honor of the coming National Singles Awareness Day, a story about loss and devastation. No, no one is dying in this book, Todd is leaving! What will Liz do? (well, cry looking at the cover)
(or if that one dies here.) This review is pretty long but bear with me--there is a surprise at the end!
The book starts with the terrible news that Todd broke at the talent show in the previous book. His family is moving to Vermont--next week. Talk about short notice. Liz is inconsolable, so Jess tries to console her. Of course, Jess thinks how great it will be once Todd is gone; she and Liz will be able to go on double dates, she won’t have to worry about Todd punching people, Liz will lose one of her enablers and have only Jess to rely on--okay, I made that up, but you know if Jess were smart enough she’d totally be thinking that. Besides, Jess always thought Todd was really mediocre and nowhere near good enough for her sister. Todd arrives later in the day and Liz washes his shirt with her tears. She just can’t imagine living life without Todd; her entire life seems to revolve around him. And we are only on page 6, people! Liz makes a pact to herself to cling to Todd like a leach on a bloody wound for the few days he has left in town. Ah, I love the scent of desperation in the morning.
Dinnertime with the Wakefield family. Steven drops by for some home cookin’ and Jess gets read the riot act for charging clothes on her parents’ credit card. And, horror of horrors, her parents tell her to get a job. “But I am in school!” Jess protests. Ned and Alice are unmoved. Liz isn’t paying attention but vowing again to herself that she’ll cling to Todd forever and ever and ever.
The next day at school, Enid and Liz share lunch. Enid is throwing a good-bye party for Todd on Saturday. Enid asks Liz how Liz and Todd’s relationship will handle the distance and if Liz will date other people. Liz is horrified! Date other people that aren’t Todd? Unpossible! Liz makes the prediction that she “isn’t going to lose Todd, I just can’t!” She also wrings some angst out of the fact that “everyone seems to be against them.” Oh, how subtle the foreshadowing.
Back at Casa de Wakefield, Jess is ruining her skin, laying out in the sun. Steven comes by (no classes at that college, hmm?) and teases her about getting a job. Surprisingly, Jess has actually managed to get hired--by the Perfect Match Computer Dating Agency. And just as her sister is losing her boyfriend she gets a job at a Dating Agency! Kismet! She’s only supposed to answer the phones, but we know that won’t last long. Some more is said about Jess trying to fix Steven up with Cara Walker so soon after Tricia Martin’s heroic and tragic death. Jess then creepily checks her brother out and concludes that he is good-looking and that if Cara wasn’t right, she could find him someone who was. Jess is on a mission!
Steven then knocks on Liz’s door and talks to her. Of course she feels like her loss of Todd is small potatoes compared to Steven’s loss of his great love, the heroic, cancer-ridden Tricia but Steve is actually pretty understanding. He asks her, as Enid did, if they are planning on dating other people while separated. Liz again is like “No!” but something tells me Liz is going to fall of this wagon right quick. Steven says that lots of college kids make promises to their “hometown honey” to stay faithful but it usually ends in tears. But not Liz and Todd, they are different, Liz says. First Enid, now Steven, they are all against the two of them. Oh cruel world!
Jess has started her new job. She thought it would be glamorous but it isn’t--she is just answering phones and taking messages. She thinks about fixing Steven up with the desperate women who keep calling. She starts going through the files when her boss catches her. Jess makes up some dumb story about how she can do her job better with a better idea of the people they are helping, and her boss, who must’ve been born under a rock, actually hands her a set of keys so she can come back later and look through the files. Jess and her boss then start gabbing it up and soon the entire Wakefield history, including the Liz-Todd drama, has been laid out. Jess observes that Liz and Todd are so goody-goody and boring--and then remembers how Nicholas Morrow was totally into Liz…
At the party, Jess stands on the sidelines with Nicholas, pimping her sister out to him as Liz dances her farewell dance in Todd’s arms. Nicholas isn’t averse to the plan and so the plot is hatched. Liz and Todd leave the party and go out to the beach. If this were a racier book, you know where this would lead, but since it is Sweet Valley, they kiss, Todd gives her some jewelry, and they promise not to see other people because their love is true and strong. Todd, though he has anger issues, is as much as a mushpile as Liz is.
The next day, Jess has gone to work to look through the profiles of the women looking for love. Since this is in the dark-age, there aren’t even pictures to go with the cards. Jess finds some that sound perfect for Steven--one is a forty-three year-old divorcee who might be rich, another is a 20-year-old who loves “foreign accents, sports cars, and German philosophers,” and the final one is a woman who loves “cooking, restaurants, and eating” so you just know she’ll be overweight. Jess calls the first woman and gives her Steven’s number--but tells her that he is gorgeous but not to tell him where they got his number as he is embarrassed to be using the service.
Liz is over at the Wilkins’ generally getting in the way and moping around. Todd had to sell his blue Datsun! Then there is ten minutes until they have to get going to make their flight (this is before TSA and having to be 5 hours early to get through security). Todd and Liz go out back and they both cry and do the whole “you leave first. No, you leave first” thing. Liz tries to leave first but she runs back sobbing. Todd finally leaves and Liz is left standing forlornly on their front lawn.
Back at the Wakefields’ house, the family has all gathered to be there to support Liz. She makes her grand entrance complete with swollen and dull eyes. She robotically tells the family she is fine, no, she doesn’t want dinner, she is just going to lie down. This isn’t one of the suicide books, so the family doesn’t hide all the razors.
A week later, Liz is still down in the dumps. Jess is planning a new wardrobe for Lila’s upcoming party. Liz is writing--no not for English class or for The Oracle--but to Todd. She has been writing every day. And doesn’t want to go out to a movie with Jess because Todd might call. He’s called 3 times already and those calls were the highlight of her week. Geez, what then follows is a really depressing paragraph about how everything reminds her of him, how she loves him and seeing even the gym makes her sad, how she doesn’t even want to write for the paper without Todd there to laugh at her jokes, or study, or go to the movies without him. It’s really pathetic. Liz prays the loneliness eases because if it doesn’t she thinks she “is going to die!”
Jess and Cara are talking at lunch. We learn that Jess never has to worry about her weight. Bitch. Jess laments to Cara about how Liz needs to have fun and get over her loneliness. Cara isn’t being any gossipy fun--her parents are having problems and she is changing and is more mature. Cara’s father moved out, and she doesn’t want to talk about it. Jess suggests getting Mr. Collins on-board and having him give Liz a big assignment that will keep her involved in school. Which is actually a good idea so Cara is shocked that Jess came up with it. Of course there is another angle. Jess wants to have Mr. Collins assign Liz to the upcoming regatta race in which Nicholas Morrow just happens to be entered. Still, all in all, it is a good plan if a little light on the details.
Later that evening, Jess tries to ham-handedly get Liz to take a date to the regatta race but Liz closes that conversation right-fast. Which totally stops Jessica. Not.
The next day, Jess is hounding Nicholas to call Liz and invite her to the race, to hang with him on his boat. Nicholas is worried that Liz is still hung up on Todd and he’ll get his feelings hurt if she rejects him again. Jess compares Liz’s feelings to cigarette addiction. She was just so used to Todd being around that she is now suffering from withdrawal. Again, another bit of wisdom from Jess. That’s two so far. Jess heads off to work. She wonders why Steven hasn’t mentioned his forty-three year-old girlfriend but figures that she has two more in reserve if that one doesn’t work out.
Meanwhile, back at the batcave a.k.a. the Wakefield house, Liz has a caller. Is it Todd? Nope, Nicholas. He wants a friend to help him stay calm before the race, and Liz is his choice. Pretty good cover there, bud. Well, Liz buys it in any case. Liz thinks everything is all innocent so she accepts his offer to drive to the marina. I don’t know if she’ll be pure when Todd returns the way this is going, ya know what I mean? Todd’s only been gone for a week, and she is already accepting rides from other boys? Whore.
Liz goes for a glass of water and runs into Jess. Steven was just on the phone and mentioned that some old lady kept calling him asking him for dates. Liz thinks it is the weirdest thing ever that a random woman got Steven’s number but doesn’t put two and two together. Jess reminds her that the phone rang twice and who was the other caller? Liz fesses up it was Nicholas and she is going to the marina with him. Jess actually plays it cool and doesn’t draw attention to her plan. Liz seems to be feeling a little guilty so she runs off to write a letter to Todd. Ah, those pre-internet days. She can’t even call him because it costs too much. Sad, tear.
On Saturday, the marina is buzzing with activity. Liz is running around interviewing people and not moping, a definite improvement. Jess shows up and presses about where Nicholas is-way to keep it cool, Jess. Nicholas then shows up and drags Liz off to look at his big, hard, sleek…boat. The boat’s public name is Seabird while its private name is…My Favorite Twin. Which is actually a bit creepy, yo. But Liz is actually a bit flattered that a guy as nice and hot and smart as Nicholas still likes her. Not that she’d do anything about it, but it’s that power-trip thing, ya know? Bruce Patman shows up then and there is some posturing between the two rich playboy sailors (and a shoutout to 1BRUCE1!). It also states that “the Wakefield twins had had a number of brushes with Bruce Patman, and both had decided at one point to write him off as an arrogant snob.” So, was that before or after the attempted rape? But then it goes on to say how sweet Bruce is on Nicholas’ sister, even when she was tragically deaf. But now she is in Switzerland so Liz and Bruce both know what it is like to have their loves so far away. They lament together until Nicholas breaks in; he isn’t thrilled to be hearing about Todd. Liz heads off to work on her story and promises that she will write Todd the longest most gushiest love letter to make up for how weird she has been acting that day.
The race begins and of course it is a dead heat between Bruce and Nicholas. And of course it wouldn’t be Sweet Valley if our handsome and fun Nicholas didn’t win by just a hair. Liz screamed herself hoarse cheering so looks like the mopey thing is over and done with, right? Nah. When Nicholas invites her (and Jessica) to the victory party on his dad’s yacht, she doesn’t want to go but allows herself to be convinced eventually. Of course she justifies her actions to herself by saying it is for her story and an inside scoop. Right, Liz, right. Uh-oh, looks like the Morrows are serving alcohol to minors; shame on you, Morrows! Nicholas takes advantage of having Liz trapped on a boat to flirt a little with her. Its actually kinda sweet. Nicholas is all about to hit on her some more but then keeps it light by telling her that he’ll always be there for her-if she wants someone to cry on and stuff. He then asks her to a barbecue the family is having the next day. (Good grief, do these people do anything other than party?) Jess is invited too. Liz feels guilty because she isn’t at home pining away faithfully for Todd but she agrees to come because Nicholas is such a good friend. Mmmhmm.
The next morning, Liz rereads Todd’s latest soppy letter. He misses her, he loves her, blah blah blah. But then Liz remembers how happy she felt hanging out with Nicholas. He is older and sophisticated and handsome and nice. Yep, Prince Charming, send him my way, por favor, Lizzie doesn’t deserve him. Liz has some introspection and realizes that being attached at the hip with Todd made her insensitive to her friends who were still single. But she also figured out that her loneliness was the reason Liz was so flattered by Nicholas’ attention. But she’ll still be true to Todd because her heart belongs to him.
At the BBQ, Jess is hanging out with a Morrow “poor relation” named Jeffrey. She thought about liking him, but well, he’s too poor for her she figures. Liz and Nicholas are strolling around the tennis courts together. They are talking about hot, hot sexxorz. Or his sister. Use your imagination to figure out which. Nicholas asks if she promised Todd she’d stay pure while Todd was gone. Liz says, yes. Nicholas asks if that means she doesn’t want to go to a Bond movie with him next week. A Bond movie, how romantic! Liz doesn’t want to lead him on but agrees. Before she can say “just as friends” he gets all excited. Ah, the hijinks that are sure to result from this!
Back at home, Jess and Liz discuss the BBQ and Liz laments that she thinks that Nicholas wants to be more than friends. Oh, noes! Jess plays it fairly low-key but knows that she has to save her sister from herself and boring-old-Todd. The next day, Jess is pondering the romantic problems that surround her. Steven doesn’t want the old hag chasing him, Liz doesn’t want Prince Charming…so it is up to Jess to solve the problems of course. The phone rings. It is Todd. Liz is at Enid’s so Jess decides it is time to meddle from the Todd end. She tells him what a zombie Liz has become, how she doesn’t do anything any more because all she does is think about Todd. He’s been gone for what, two weeks? Jess keeps the guilt coming and tells Todd that if he really cared about Liz, he’d let her go and stop burying herself in the past. Jess, another winner from you--you is gettin’ smarter! Todd falls for Jess’ line and seems to decide that it is time to let Liz get on with her life.
Liz, for her part, is torn. Todd isn’t returning her calls and she is unsure about the whole movie-with-Nicholas thing. She does like him but she doesn’t want to like him. At the movie, Liz is so aware of Nicholas beside her, you know she has the hots for him. She is crying because she knows the movie will end with Bond getting the girl away from her boyfriend. Nicholas notices her tears and offers to put his arm around her--it’s the best way he knows to offer comfort. Oh, you sly dog you! Liz is feeling rather a sisterly toward him--until they get to the Wakefield’s porch when he kisses her. She kisses him back! How naughty! But he pulls away and says that he doesn’t want to hurt her for anything. Liz is very confused. Nicholas backs off some because he really does like her. He asks if they can get ice cream sometime on the weekend and she tells him to call her.
Well things on the Todd front aren’t so rosy. She hasn’t had to confess that she kissed another boy because Todd isn’t returning her phone calls and he has stopped writing. She fears he has found another girl and it just makes her sick. Double standards. Liz decides that a passive-aggressive approach is what is needed. When Nicholas just happens to drop by to tell her again that he doesn’t want to pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, she asks him out. They make plans for dinner but deep in her heart, Liz is still missing Todd who was poor but loved her. Yes, rebound relationships always end well.
Steven comes home the next day and he and Liz have a talk. He says he’ll be at Lila’s party, cuz college boys just love hanging out at high school parties. Liz says she’ll be there too--with Nicholas. Steven is surprised and Liz tells him how she hasn’t been able to contact Todd. Steven smartly suggests writing him and asking him what is wrong. Liz says, “It’s no use. Things are over between us. I’m just going to have to get used to that idea. The sooner, the better.” Way to fight for that eternal love, Liz! Steven points out how well rebound things work but Liz denies it is a rebound relationship. She really likes Nicholas. She does. Really. Their deep conversation is interrupted by the doorbell. Liz goes to answer it--it is a girl who is dressed in leather with six earrings in one ear and really long fingernails. It is one of the girls from Jessica’s list. She is there to see Steven. Liz about dies of laughter and goes off to find her brother.
Once Steven is found the whole thing comes out. The leather-girl is all deep and artsy and talks about vibes and souls. Liz and Steven are baffled but when she says that she got his name from Perfect Match the pieces fall into place. Well that means the trail leads directly to Jessica! And who should appear then but the girl in question. Liz beats a hasty retreat--Nicholas is supposed to pick her up for a date in an hour, and she has to decide whether to wash her hair. She then sees a picture of Todd and laments how fast their relationship fell apart.
Jess apparently hasn’t learned anything because she is still considering calling the third woman to set her brother up with. She just can’t understand why he didn’t like the old divorcee or the leather-goth-biker-chick. I mean, she could see him not liking one of them, but both? Baffling! Jess calls Lila to gossip. Lila tells her to come over so they can plan the party. The gossip then turns to the state of Liz and Nicholas’s relationship. Lila says she never expected Liz to be fickle, but Jess says that the Todd thing just died and what is between Liz and Nicholas is true love. Really, the whole interlude is fairly pointless. Probably just filler to help make the page count minimum.
We next find Liz and Enid at the beach courting skin cancer. They talk about how much time Liz has been spending with Nicholas, and Liz gushes about him a bit. Enid reminds Liz how she (Enid) felt when her boyfriend dumped her and how her first instinct was to glom onto the first guy she saw… Liz empathetically denies that she is using Nicholas as a Toddstitute. Which completes the switcheroo. In the beginning, Enid and Steven were both encouraging her to not vow undying love and devotion and now that she has listened to them, they are going the opposite way. Is it any wonder the girl is confused? Liz wonders if she is using Nicholas as a Todd substitute or if Nicholas really is the one for her--the one she’s been waiting for all her life. Which makes me think she needs to slow the hell down and gain some perspective; dating for a week and you are wondering if you are eternally destined for each other? How desperate does that sound?
A few days later, Liz realizes what is between her and Nicholas isn’t love like she loved Todd. She pats herself on the back, metaphorically, that she was always different from the girls who got so wrapped up in their boyfriends that they lost themselves. After all, she and Todd had different interests--Liz wrote for the paper and Todd played basketball. They were totally separate so she is superior to those other girls. But then she realized that her vaunted independence required Todd to be there to support her. That word, I do not think it means what she thinks it means. So when Todd left, she fell apart. Liz decides she has to come clean to Nicholas, unfortunately she wouldn’t have a chance to do that before the big party at Lila’s. And of course she can’t tell him before the party, that would ruin it. She’ll just have to wait until after.
But the night the party holds a faboo surprise for Liz; Todd is back in town! Of course, only the Egbert family knows he is back in town. He spent the day running errands and didn’t call his girlfriend to let her know he’d be around. He decided he wanted to surprise her. Because nothing says “I love you” more than a week of being ignored then surprised with an unannounced visit. He stopped calling because he believed what Jess said about moving on--and he hoped that Liz’s anger at him would help her move on. Brilliant plan! He drives past her house but can’t summon the cajones to go in and talk to her. He figures it’ll be easier to talk at Lila’s party that evening. He hopes that his big surprise visit will show Liz that he still loves her and stuff.
Steven is heading home to attend the party. He doesn’t especially want to go--hanging out with highschoolers doesn’t hold much appeal--but he is using it as a chance to see Liz and Nicholas in action and figure out what is really going on there. He also invited Tragically Dead Tricia’s sister Betsy and her boyfriend to the party. Why? Because they like hanging out with high schoolers? Betsy apparently was all messed up but was now getting her life back in order. Steven is distracted from his thoughts when he comes upon a disabled car on the road. It is Cara Walker and she has a flat. And she has no idea how to change it. But she is likely wearing a short skirt so that makes it okay. Steven changes the tire for her (what a hero!) but her emotional problems surface, and Steven sees her in a new light. He suggests they go get coffee and talk. Cara gratefully agrees. Turns out her parents are splitting up, and her dad took her little brother to Chicago, leaving her alone with her mom. Pretty sucky. Steven notices that she isn’t the spoiled silly girl he thought she was but a “sensitive, intelligent young woman” and then asks if she is going to Lila’s party. She hadn’t planned on it but when Steven asks her to go with him, she agrees with a smile. Ah, boys and short skirts cure all ills. Steven finds comfort in their shared victimhood-she is the victim of her parents split, he is the victim of Tricia’s death. Yep, that does make perfect sense. They are destined to have a long, happy relationship based on that rock solid foundation. But they’ll help each other recover from their hurts.
Jess is at Lila’s party and not enjoying herself. She picked a guy out from the lists at work based on his romantic-sounding name and picture. Turns out he the picture was a lie and his goals are to become an undertaker. And he has glasses! What a loser, my God! Glasses?! Jess knows by this failure of a date that she is done with that dating agency. Plus, she has saved enough money to pay back her parents so she is totally quitting. The agency was “nothing but trouble.” Turns out the third girl decided she’d rather have food than men so no third date for Steven. But it looks like he is fixing that problem himself. Jess runs from her date and bumps into Betsy Martin. Jess didn’t like Betsy when Betsy was living with the Wakefields after Tricia’s death but Jess likes her better now because her clothing is less cheap looking. Jess has high standards after all. Betsy is upset because Steven is “carrying on” with someone so soon after Tricia Tragically Died. That someone is…Cara. Jess is all like “BFD, that’s just Cara” but Betsy is all “I’m pissed off and I’m going to let him know, the cad!” Jess tries to head Betsy off but before she can, she spots something that nearly causes her a heartattack. I bet it’s Todd. Anyone want to take bets? It is Todd! He is wearing a blazer and cords, how sexy. I bet the blazer has a crest on it too. Jess frantically looks around for Liz but her heels are so high she can’t run and find her. Impractical fashion strikes again. Todd catches up with her, and Jess frantically tries to warn him about what he might see-but he’s already seen it. Liz is dancing angelically with Nicholas. She “senses” Todd and opens her eyes. Todd runs off, and we have a cliffhanger at the end of the chapter!
The next chapter starts with Liz wanting to go home. It is no use in looking for Todd--he is gone. And he has been humiliated in front of everyone. Liz just wants to be alone. She also wants, nay needs, to find Todd. Sounds like she is a bit confused. She gets Nicholas to take her home and tells him that she is just not ready for anything serious with him. He is, of course, disappointed but being perfect, he takes it like a man. He says he has loved her since he saw her and is willing to give her more time. She says that she just wants to be friends for always and forever but if that isn’t enough for him… He of course says that he is happy to be friends with her but she has to stick with just that. He can’t handle chasing after her a third time. Liz decides that they will have to be just friends despite her wayward heart yearning to be comforted by his strong manliness. Liz stumbles into the house (guess there was alcohol at that party) and ponders the hurt on Nicholas’s face and how Todd’s face had the same expression earlier. Elizabeth Wakefield, destroyer of hopes and dreams.
Jess on the other hand is still at the party and feeling way guilty. She knows that if Liz finds out from Todd what she said about them moving on and Todd holding Liz back before she gets a chance to explain, she is dogmeat. Unfortunately, her sexy, bespectacled dated has disappeared so she has to borrow a Fowler car to get home. I hope it was a Porsche that said 1LILA1.
Jess makes it home and confesses what she did to Elizabeth. Elizabeth is pretty upset but doesn’t do anything about it. Remember, Liz suffers from a rare condition wherein her backbone was replaced with a cooked spaghetti noodle. Elizabeth decides that what she needs now is time alone so she goes out for a drive. She heads out to all the places she and Todd had frequented but finds no sign of him. Alone, according to the dictionary means "Isolated from others." So Liz, wanting to be alone and looking for another person are mutually exclusive. Taking one last stab at it, she heads for the Wilkinses’s old house. There, in the backyard, she finds a figure crumpled on the lawn. Nope, he isn’t dead. She cries “Todd, oh Todd,” like the romantic heroine she thinks she is. The embrace romantically and decide they need to talk. About barkin' time! It turns out that both made mistakes in not talking beforehand and neither blame Jessica. They agree that they can go on dates and things with other people and make new friends but they will always love each other. Liz is still wearing the locket Todd gave her before he left and says that she hasn’t taken it off and doesn’t think she ever will. Aww. Liz wants to get back at Jessica for meddling but the meddling had a few positive effects and Liz’s noodle-condition resurfaces-Jess will just get a warning rather than full-scale revenge.
Liz and Jess are back at home wondering where Steven is. It is after midnight and you know that all good college boys are bed by that hour. Liz reads Jess the riot act about her using her job to fix people up. Jessica is upset because she thinks that if Nicholas is upset at Liz then he’ll be furious as Jessica. Why, Jessica thinks, did my stupid twin have to muck that up to stay with the “thoroughly mediocre Todd?” Jessica then mentions that she thinks that Steven might be up to something with Cara-they were very friendly at the party. And that Betsy Martin was practically spitting fire when she saw the two of them…talking. At that moment, Steven returns. He is acting cheerful but it seems forced. Liz fills him in on the Todd situation and Jess asks about Cara. Steven abruptly leaves after that. Luckily, Lila calls right then and gives them the 411. Seems like Steven and Cara took to dancing after the twins left and Betsy made a scene. Betsy said something about it being too soon after her sister’s death and Steven got all teary and stormed out. Liz is righteously indignant-after all, it has been a few months since Tricia Tragically Died and Steven deserves happiness. Liz hopes that Betsy-who owes Steven a lot-will back the heck off and let him live his life. I think you’ll just have to wait ‘til book 24 to find out if that actually happens.
Wow, lots of nothing happened in this and that is a frickin’ long recap. Sorry about the length, but I guess when it is all “emotional” you have to spend more time and words to describe it. Or else use poetry. Thus, poetry:
Mediocre Todd rage-filled basketball moving
Leaving
Angst heartbreak and depression void
Meddling sisters and Prince Charming causing chaos woe
Dating agencies, lovelorn brothers parties galore causing scenes and tears
Tears
Resolution, new love and old love collide
Future uncertain
Read the next book. Pay money for it! Adore! Adore!
(it is freeverse, people; it doesn’t have to rhyme!)
(or if that one dies here.) This review is pretty long but bear with me--there is a surprise at the end!
The book starts with the terrible news that Todd broke at the talent show in the previous book. His family is moving to Vermont--next week. Talk about short notice. Liz is inconsolable, so Jess tries to console her. Of course, Jess thinks how great it will be once Todd is gone; she and Liz will be able to go on double dates, she won’t have to worry about Todd punching people, Liz will lose one of her enablers and have only Jess to rely on--okay, I made that up, but you know if Jess were smart enough she’d totally be thinking that. Besides, Jess always thought Todd was really mediocre and nowhere near good enough for her sister. Todd arrives later in the day and Liz washes his shirt with her tears. She just can’t imagine living life without Todd; her entire life seems to revolve around him. And we are only on page 6, people! Liz makes a pact to herself to cling to Todd like a leach on a bloody wound for the few days he has left in town. Ah, I love the scent of desperation in the morning.
Dinnertime with the Wakefield family. Steven drops by for some home cookin’ and Jess gets read the riot act for charging clothes on her parents’ credit card. And, horror of horrors, her parents tell her to get a job. “But I am in school!” Jess protests. Ned and Alice are unmoved. Liz isn’t paying attention but vowing again to herself that she’ll cling to Todd forever and ever and ever.
The next day at school, Enid and Liz share lunch. Enid is throwing a good-bye party for Todd on Saturday. Enid asks Liz how Liz and Todd’s relationship will handle the distance and if Liz will date other people. Liz is horrified! Date other people that aren’t Todd? Unpossible! Liz makes the prediction that she “isn’t going to lose Todd, I just can’t!” She also wrings some angst out of the fact that “everyone seems to be against them.” Oh, how subtle the foreshadowing.
Back at Casa de Wakefield, Jess is ruining her skin, laying out in the sun. Steven comes by (no classes at that college, hmm?) and teases her about getting a job. Surprisingly, Jess has actually managed to get hired--by the Perfect Match Computer Dating Agency. And just as her sister is losing her boyfriend she gets a job at a Dating Agency! Kismet! She’s only supposed to answer the phones, but we know that won’t last long. Some more is said about Jess trying to fix Steven up with Cara Walker so soon after Tricia Martin’s heroic and tragic death. Jess then creepily checks her brother out and concludes that he is good-looking and that if Cara wasn’t right, she could find him someone who was. Jess is on a mission!
Steven then knocks on Liz’s door and talks to her. Of course she feels like her loss of Todd is small potatoes compared to Steven’s loss of his great love, the heroic, cancer-ridden Tricia but Steve is actually pretty understanding. He asks her, as Enid did, if they are planning on dating other people while separated. Liz again is like “No!” but something tells me Liz is going to fall of this wagon right quick. Steven says that lots of college kids make promises to their “hometown honey” to stay faithful but it usually ends in tears. But not Liz and Todd, they are different, Liz says. First Enid, now Steven, they are all against the two of them. Oh cruel world!
Jess has started her new job. She thought it would be glamorous but it isn’t--she is just answering phones and taking messages. She thinks about fixing Steven up with the desperate women who keep calling. She starts going through the files when her boss catches her. Jess makes up some dumb story about how she can do her job better with a better idea of the people they are helping, and her boss, who must’ve been born under a rock, actually hands her a set of keys so she can come back later and look through the files. Jess and her boss then start gabbing it up and soon the entire Wakefield history, including the Liz-Todd drama, has been laid out. Jess observes that Liz and Todd are so goody-goody and boring--and then remembers how Nicholas Morrow was totally into Liz…
At the party, Jess stands on the sidelines with Nicholas, pimping her sister out to him as Liz dances her farewell dance in Todd’s arms. Nicholas isn’t averse to the plan and so the plot is hatched. Liz and Todd leave the party and go out to the beach. If this were a racier book, you know where this would lead, but since it is Sweet Valley, they kiss, Todd gives her some jewelry, and they promise not to see other people because their love is true and strong. Todd, though he has anger issues, is as much as a mushpile as Liz is.
The next day, Jess has gone to work to look through the profiles of the women looking for love. Since this is in the dark-age, there aren’t even pictures to go with the cards. Jess finds some that sound perfect for Steven--one is a forty-three year-old divorcee who might be rich, another is a 20-year-old who loves “foreign accents, sports cars, and German philosophers,” and the final one is a woman who loves “cooking, restaurants, and eating” so you just know she’ll be overweight. Jess calls the first woman and gives her Steven’s number--but tells her that he is gorgeous but not to tell him where they got his number as he is embarrassed to be using the service.
Liz is over at the Wilkins’ generally getting in the way and moping around. Todd had to sell his blue Datsun! Then there is ten minutes until they have to get going to make their flight (this is before TSA and having to be 5 hours early to get through security). Todd and Liz go out back and they both cry and do the whole “you leave first. No, you leave first” thing. Liz tries to leave first but she runs back sobbing. Todd finally leaves and Liz is left standing forlornly on their front lawn.
Back at the Wakefields’ house, the family has all gathered to be there to support Liz. She makes her grand entrance complete with swollen and dull eyes. She robotically tells the family she is fine, no, she doesn’t want dinner, she is just going to lie down. This isn’t one of the suicide books, so the family doesn’t hide all the razors.
A week later, Liz is still down in the dumps. Jess is planning a new wardrobe for Lila’s upcoming party. Liz is writing--no not for English class or for The Oracle--but to Todd. She has been writing every day. And doesn’t want to go out to a movie with Jess because Todd might call. He’s called 3 times already and those calls were the highlight of her week. Geez, what then follows is a really depressing paragraph about how everything reminds her of him, how she loves him and seeing even the gym makes her sad, how she doesn’t even want to write for the paper without Todd there to laugh at her jokes, or study, or go to the movies without him. It’s really pathetic. Liz prays the loneliness eases because if it doesn’t she thinks she “is going to die!”
Jess and Cara are talking at lunch. We learn that Jess never has to worry about her weight. Bitch. Jess laments to Cara about how Liz needs to have fun and get over her loneliness. Cara isn’t being any gossipy fun--her parents are having problems and she is changing and is more mature. Cara’s father moved out, and she doesn’t want to talk about it. Jess suggests getting Mr. Collins on-board and having him give Liz a big assignment that will keep her involved in school. Which is actually a good idea so Cara is shocked that Jess came up with it. Of course there is another angle. Jess wants to have Mr. Collins assign Liz to the upcoming regatta race in which Nicholas Morrow just happens to be entered. Still, all in all, it is a good plan if a little light on the details.
Later that evening, Jess tries to ham-handedly get Liz to take a date to the regatta race but Liz closes that conversation right-fast. Which totally stops Jessica. Not.
The next day, Jess is hounding Nicholas to call Liz and invite her to the race, to hang with him on his boat. Nicholas is worried that Liz is still hung up on Todd and he’ll get his feelings hurt if she rejects him again. Jess compares Liz’s feelings to cigarette addiction. She was just so used to Todd being around that she is now suffering from withdrawal. Again, another bit of wisdom from Jess. That’s two so far. Jess heads off to work. She wonders why Steven hasn’t mentioned his forty-three year-old girlfriend but figures that she has two more in reserve if that one doesn’t work out.
Meanwhile, back at the batcave a.k.a. the Wakefield house, Liz has a caller. Is it Todd? Nope, Nicholas. He wants a friend to help him stay calm before the race, and Liz is his choice. Pretty good cover there, bud. Well, Liz buys it in any case. Liz thinks everything is all innocent so she accepts his offer to drive to the marina. I don’t know if she’ll be pure when Todd returns the way this is going, ya know what I mean? Todd’s only been gone for a week, and she is already accepting rides from other boys? Whore.
Liz goes for a glass of water and runs into Jess. Steven was just on the phone and mentioned that some old lady kept calling him asking him for dates. Liz thinks it is the weirdest thing ever that a random woman got Steven’s number but doesn’t put two and two together. Jess reminds her that the phone rang twice and who was the other caller? Liz fesses up it was Nicholas and she is going to the marina with him. Jess actually plays it cool and doesn’t draw attention to her plan. Liz seems to be feeling a little guilty so she runs off to write a letter to Todd. Ah, those pre-internet days. She can’t even call him because it costs too much. Sad, tear.
On Saturday, the marina is buzzing with activity. Liz is running around interviewing people and not moping, a definite improvement. Jess shows up and presses about where Nicholas is-way to keep it cool, Jess. Nicholas then shows up and drags Liz off to look at his big, hard, sleek…boat. The boat’s public name is Seabird while its private name is…My Favorite Twin. Which is actually a bit creepy, yo. But Liz is actually a bit flattered that a guy as nice and hot and smart as Nicholas still likes her. Not that she’d do anything about it, but it’s that power-trip thing, ya know? Bruce Patman shows up then and there is some posturing between the two rich playboy sailors (and a shoutout to 1BRUCE1!). It also states that “the Wakefield twins had had a number of brushes with Bruce Patman, and both had decided at one point to write him off as an arrogant snob.” So, was that before or after the attempted rape? But then it goes on to say how sweet Bruce is on Nicholas’ sister, even when she was tragically deaf. But now she is in Switzerland so Liz and Bruce both know what it is like to have their loves so far away. They lament together until Nicholas breaks in; he isn’t thrilled to be hearing about Todd. Liz heads off to work on her story and promises that she will write Todd the longest most gushiest love letter to make up for how weird she has been acting that day.
The race begins and of course it is a dead heat between Bruce and Nicholas. And of course it wouldn’t be Sweet Valley if our handsome and fun Nicholas didn’t win by just a hair. Liz screamed herself hoarse cheering so looks like the mopey thing is over and done with, right? Nah. When Nicholas invites her (and Jessica) to the victory party on his dad’s yacht, she doesn’t want to go but allows herself to be convinced eventually. Of course she justifies her actions to herself by saying it is for her story and an inside scoop. Right, Liz, right. Uh-oh, looks like the Morrows are serving alcohol to minors; shame on you, Morrows! Nicholas takes advantage of having Liz trapped on a boat to flirt a little with her. Its actually kinda sweet. Nicholas is all about to hit on her some more but then keeps it light by telling her that he’ll always be there for her-if she wants someone to cry on and stuff. He then asks her to a barbecue the family is having the next day. (Good grief, do these people do anything other than party?) Jess is invited too. Liz feels guilty because she isn’t at home pining away faithfully for Todd but she agrees to come because Nicholas is such a good friend. Mmmhmm.
The next morning, Liz rereads Todd’s latest soppy letter. He misses her, he loves her, blah blah blah. But then Liz remembers how happy she felt hanging out with Nicholas. He is older and sophisticated and handsome and nice. Yep, Prince Charming, send him my way, por favor, Lizzie doesn’t deserve him. Liz has some introspection and realizes that being attached at the hip with Todd made her insensitive to her friends who were still single. But she also figured out that her loneliness was the reason Liz was so flattered by Nicholas’ attention. But she’ll still be true to Todd because her heart belongs to him.
At the BBQ, Jess is hanging out with a Morrow “poor relation” named Jeffrey. She thought about liking him, but well, he’s too poor for her she figures. Liz and Nicholas are strolling around the tennis courts together. They are talking about hot, hot sexxorz. Or his sister. Use your imagination to figure out which. Nicholas asks if she promised Todd she’d stay pure while Todd was gone. Liz says, yes. Nicholas asks if that means she doesn’t want to go to a Bond movie with him next week. A Bond movie, how romantic! Liz doesn’t want to lead him on but agrees. Before she can say “just as friends” he gets all excited. Ah, the hijinks that are sure to result from this!
Back at home, Jess and Liz discuss the BBQ and Liz laments that she thinks that Nicholas wants to be more than friends. Oh, noes! Jess plays it fairly low-key but knows that she has to save her sister from herself and boring-old-Todd. The next day, Jess is pondering the romantic problems that surround her. Steven doesn’t want the old hag chasing him, Liz doesn’t want Prince Charming…so it is up to Jess to solve the problems of course. The phone rings. It is Todd. Liz is at Enid’s so Jess decides it is time to meddle from the Todd end. She tells him what a zombie Liz has become, how she doesn’t do anything any more because all she does is think about Todd. He’s been gone for what, two weeks? Jess keeps the guilt coming and tells Todd that if he really cared about Liz, he’d let her go and stop burying herself in the past. Jess, another winner from you--you is gettin’ smarter! Todd falls for Jess’ line and seems to decide that it is time to let Liz get on with her life.
Liz, for her part, is torn. Todd isn’t returning her calls and she is unsure about the whole movie-with-Nicholas thing. She does like him but she doesn’t want to like him. At the movie, Liz is so aware of Nicholas beside her, you know she has the hots for him. She is crying because she knows the movie will end with Bond getting the girl away from her boyfriend. Nicholas notices her tears and offers to put his arm around her--it’s the best way he knows to offer comfort. Oh, you sly dog you! Liz is feeling rather a sisterly toward him--until they get to the Wakefield’s porch when he kisses her. She kisses him back! How naughty! But he pulls away and says that he doesn’t want to hurt her for anything. Liz is very confused. Nicholas backs off some because he really does like her. He asks if they can get ice cream sometime on the weekend and she tells him to call her.
Well things on the Todd front aren’t so rosy. She hasn’t had to confess that she kissed another boy because Todd isn’t returning her phone calls and he has stopped writing. She fears he has found another girl and it just makes her sick. Double standards. Liz decides that a passive-aggressive approach is what is needed. When Nicholas just happens to drop by to tell her again that he doesn’t want to pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, she asks him out. They make plans for dinner but deep in her heart, Liz is still missing Todd who was poor but loved her. Yes, rebound relationships always end well.
Steven comes home the next day and he and Liz have a talk. He says he’ll be at Lila’s party, cuz college boys just love hanging out at high school parties. Liz says she’ll be there too--with Nicholas. Steven is surprised and Liz tells him how she hasn’t been able to contact Todd. Steven smartly suggests writing him and asking him what is wrong. Liz says, “It’s no use. Things are over between us. I’m just going to have to get used to that idea. The sooner, the better.” Way to fight for that eternal love, Liz! Steven points out how well rebound things work but Liz denies it is a rebound relationship. She really likes Nicholas. She does. Really. Their deep conversation is interrupted by the doorbell. Liz goes to answer it--it is a girl who is dressed in leather with six earrings in one ear and really long fingernails. It is one of the girls from Jessica’s list. She is there to see Steven. Liz about dies of laughter and goes off to find her brother.
Once Steven is found the whole thing comes out. The leather-girl is all deep and artsy and talks about vibes and souls. Liz and Steven are baffled but when she says that she got his name from Perfect Match the pieces fall into place. Well that means the trail leads directly to Jessica! And who should appear then but the girl in question. Liz beats a hasty retreat--Nicholas is supposed to pick her up for a date in an hour, and she has to decide whether to wash her hair. She then sees a picture of Todd and laments how fast their relationship fell apart.
Jess apparently hasn’t learned anything because she is still considering calling the third woman to set her brother up with. She just can’t understand why he didn’t like the old divorcee or the leather-goth-biker-chick. I mean, she could see him not liking one of them, but both? Baffling! Jess calls Lila to gossip. Lila tells her to come over so they can plan the party. The gossip then turns to the state of Liz and Nicholas’s relationship. Lila says she never expected Liz to be fickle, but Jess says that the Todd thing just died and what is between Liz and Nicholas is true love. Really, the whole interlude is fairly pointless. Probably just filler to help make the page count minimum.
We next find Liz and Enid at the beach courting skin cancer. They talk about how much time Liz has been spending with Nicholas, and Liz gushes about him a bit. Enid reminds Liz how she (Enid) felt when her boyfriend dumped her and how her first instinct was to glom onto the first guy she saw… Liz empathetically denies that she is using Nicholas as a Toddstitute. Which completes the switcheroo. In the beginning, Enid and Steven were both encouraging her to not vow undying love and devotion and now that she has listened to them, they are going the opposite way. Is it any wonder the girl is confused? Liz wonders if she is using Nicholas as a Todd substitute or if Nicholas really is the one for her--the one she’s been waiting for all her life. Which makes me think she needs to slow the hell down and gain some perspective; dating for a week and you are wondering if you are eternally destined for each other? How desperate does that sound?
A few days later, Liz realizes what is between her and Nicholas isn’t love like she loved Todd. She pats herself on the back, metaphorically, that she was always different from the girls who got so wrapped up in their boyfriends that they lost themselves. After all, she and Todd had different interests--Liz wrote for the paper and Todd played basketball. They were totally separate so she is superior to those other girls. But then she realized that her vaunted independence required Todd to be there to support her. That word, I do not think it means what she thinks it means. So when Todd left, she fell apart. Liz decides she has to come clean to Nicholas, unfortunately she wouldn’t have a chance to do that before the big party at Lila’s. And of course she can’t tell him before the party, that would ruin it. She’ll just have to wait until after.
But the night the party holds a faboo surprise for Liz; Todd is back in town! Of course, only the Egbert family knows he is back in town. He spent the day running errands and didn’t call his girlfriend to let her know he’d be around. He decided he wanted to surprise her. Because nothing says “I love you” more than a week of being ignored then surprised with an unannounced visit. He stopped calling because he believed what Jess said about moving on--and he hoped that Liz’s anger at him would help her move on. Brilliant plan! He drives past her house but can’t summon the cajones to go in and talk to her. He figures it’ll be easier to talk at Lila’s party that evening. He hopes that his big surprise visit will show Liz that he still loves her and stuff.
Steven is heading home to attend the party. He doesn’t especially want to go--hanging out with highschoolers doesn’t hold much appeal--but he is using it as a chance to see Liz and Nicholas in action and figure out what is really going on there. He also invited Tragically Dead Tricia’s sister Betsy and her boyfriend to the party. Why? Because they like hanging out with high schoolers? Betsy apparently was all messed up but was now getting her life back in order. Steven is distracted from his thoughts when he comes upon a disabled car on the road. It is Cara Walker and she has a flat. And she has no idea how to change it. But she is likely wearing a short skirt so that makes it okay. Steven changes the tire for her (what a hero!) but her emotional problems surface, and Steven sees her in a new light. He suggests they go get coffee and talk. Cara gratefully agrees. Turns out her parents are splitting up, and her dad took her little brother to Chicago, leaving her alone with her mom. Pretty sucky. Steven notices that she isn’t the spoiled silly girl he thought she was but a “sensitive, intelligent young woman” and then asks if she is going to Lila’s party. She hadn’t planned on it but when Steven asks her to go with him, she agrees with a smile. Ah, boys and short skirts cure all ills. Steven finds comfort in their shared victimhood-she is the victim of her parents split, he is the victim of Tricia’s death. Yep, that does make perfect sense. They are destined to have a long, happy relationship based on that rock solid foundation. But they’ll help each other recover from their hurts.
Jess is at Lila’s party and not enjoying herself. She picked a guy out from the lists at work based on his romantic-sounding name and picture. Turns out he the picture was a lie and his goals are to become an undertaker. And he has glasses! What a loser, my God! Glasses?! Jess knows by this failure of a date that she is done with that dating agency. Plus, she has saved enough money to pay back her parents so she is totally quitting. The agency was “nothing but trouble.” Turns out the third girl decided she’d rather have food than men so no third date for Steven. But it looks like he is fixing that problem himself. Jess runs from her date and bumps into Betsy Martin. Jess didn’t like Betsy when Betsy was living with the Wakefields after Tricia’s death but Jess likes her better now because her clothing is less cheap looking. Jess has high standards after all. Betsy is upset because Steven is “carrying on” with someone so soon after Tricia Tragically Died. That someone is…Cara. Jess is all like “BFD, that’s just Cara” but Betsy is all “I’m pissed off and I’m going to let him know, the cad!” Jess tries to head Betsy off but before she can, she spots something that nearly causes her a heartattack. I bet it’s Todd. Anyone want to take bets? It is Todd! He is wearing a blazer and cords, how sexy. I bet the blazer has a crest on it too. Jess frantically looks around for Liz but her heels are so high she can’t run and find her. Impractical fashion strikes again. Todd catches up with her, and Jess frantically tries to warn him about what he might see-but he’s already seen it. Liz is dancing angelically with Nicholas. She “senses” Todd and opens her eyes. Todd runs off, and we have a cliffhanger at the end of the chapter!
The next chapter starts with Liz wanting to go home. It is no use in looking for Todd--he is gone. And he has been humiliated in front of everyone. Liz just wants to be alone. She also wants, nay needs, to find Todd. Sounds like she is a bit confused. She gets Nicholas to take her home and tells him that she is just not ready for anything serious with him. He is, of course, disappointed but being perfect, he takes it like a man. He says he has loved her since he saw her and is willing to give her more time. She says that she just wants to be friends for always and forever but if that isn’t enough for him… He of course says that he is happy to be friends with her but she has to stick with just that. He can’t handle chasing after her a third time. Liz decides that they will have to be just friends despite her wayward heart yearning to be comforted by his strong manliness. Liz stumbles into the house (guess there was alcohol at that party) and ponders the hurt on Nicholas’s face and how Todd’s face had the same expression earlier. Elizabeth Wakefield, destroyer of hopes and dreams.
Jess on the other hand is still at the party and feeling way guilty. She knows that if Liz finds out from Todd what she said about them moving on and Todd holding Liz back before she gets a chance to explain, she is dogmeat. Unfortunately, her sexy, bespectacled dated has disappeared so she has to borrow a Fowler car to get home. I hope it was a Porsche that said 1LILA1.
Jess makes it home and confesses what she did to Elizabeth. Elizabeth is pretty upset but doesn’t do anything about it. Remember, Liz suffers from a rare condition wherein her backbone was replaced with a cooked spaghetti noodle. Elizabeth decides that what she needs now is time alone so she goes out for a drive. She heads out to all the places she and Todd had frequented but finds no sign of him. Alone, according to the dictionary means "Isolated from others." So Liz, wanting to be alone and looking for another person are mutually exclusive. Taking one last stab at it, she heads for the Wilkinses’s old house. There, in the backyard, she finds a figure crumpled on the lawn. Nope, he isn’t dead. She cries “Todd, oh Todd,” like the romantic heroine she thinks she is. The embrace romantically and decide they need to talk. About barkin' time! It turns out that both made mistakes in not talking beforehand and neither blame Jessica. They agree that they can go on dates and things with other people and make new friends but they will always love each other. Liz is still wearing the locket Todd gave her before he left and says that she hasn’t taken it off and doesn’t think she ever will. Aww. Liz wants to get back at Jessica for meddling but the meddling had a few positive effects and Liz’s noodle-condition resurfaces-Jess will just get a warning rather than full-scale revenge.
Liz and Jess are back at home wondering where Steven is. It is after midnight and you know that all good college boys are bed by that hour. Liz reads Jess the riot act about her using her job to fix people up. Jessica is upset because she thinks that if Nicholas is upset at Liz then he’ll be furious as Jessica. Why, Jessica thinks, did my stupid twin have to muck that up to stay with the “thoroughly mediocre Todd?” Jessica then mentions that she thinks that Steven might be up to something with Cara-they were very friendly at the party. And that Betsy Martin was practically spitting fire when she saw the two of them…talking. At that moment, Steven returns. He is acting cheerful but it seems forced. Liz fills him in on the Todd situation and Jess asks about Cara. Steven abruptly leaves after that. Luckily, Lila calls right then and gives them the 411. Seems like Steven and Cara took to dancing after the twins left and Betsy made a scene. Betsy said something about it being too soon after her sister’s death and Steven got all teary and stormed out. Liz is righteously indignant-after all, it has been a few months since Tricia Tragically Died and Steven deserves happiness. Liz hopes that Betsy-who owes Steven a lot-will back the heck off and let him live his life. I think you’ll just have to wait ‘til book 24 to find out if that actually happens.
Wow, lots of nothing happened in this and that is a frickin’ long recap. Sorry about the length, but I guess when it is all “emotional” you have to spend more time and words to describe it. Or else use poetry. Thus, poetry:
Mediocre Todd rage-filled basketball moving
Leaving
Angst heartbreak and depression void
Meddling sisters and Prince Charming causing chaos woe
Dating agencies, lovelorn brothers parties galore causing scenes and tears
Tears
Resolution, new love and old love collide
Future uncertain
Read the next book. Pay money for it! Adore! Adore!
(it is freeverse, people; it doesn’t have to rhyme!)