Sweet Valley Junior High #7: How to Ruin a Friendship
I am not sure how I feel about the constant switching of narrator POV. Smacks of authorial laziness to my way of thinking. But in its honor, I present my review. I am changing narrator POV because it is a stylistic choice and edgy. I don't think it works but eh, it was an experiment.
Elizabeth: Lunchtime. SVJH cafeteria. Salvador and Anna present. Keep thinking about kiss with Salvador. Try to discuss upcoming article for the ‘zine about Sweet Valley Tower. Anna very distracted. Feel she has a right to know I kissed Salvador (why?) or else we both might lose her friendship.
Jessica: Lunchline. Lockermate Ronald slips and drops his lunch everywhere. Am actually nice and hand him a tissue to wipe up. Then when he is short money, offer him a buck. Don’t want to be seen talking to him though or rep will be ruined forever.
Anna: Almost a year since my older brother died, killed by a drunk driver. Can’t tell anyone. Can’t hang out with anyone. Salvador only wants to hang out with me because Elizabeth isn’t able to. He should remember my brother died almost a year ago. Insensitive clod.
Salvador: Anna is acting weird. Can’t forget about The Kiss with Elizabeth. Can’t figure out what to do about The Elizabeth Wakefield Situation. Hormones raging and want to kiss her again. Brian isn’t able to go with her to The Sweet Valley Tower so I take his place. Lucky Salvador. Will buy Anna a card and write a goofy message and that will surely cheer her up.
Jessica: Ronald is waiting. Oh, no, I’ll have to be seen in public with him. He pays back the loan and asks if I am doing anything. Be nice once and they follow you around forever. Ronald must have a crush. Asks about the shampoo scent but I tell him it is really medicine on the huge rash I have that might or might not be contagious. Steven finally arrives to pick me up.
Anna: Dread going into the house. Find a poem written for Salvador
I remember kindergarten:
You ate my paste
Angry that Salvador doesn’t remember what week it is. Mom, still in bathrobe, comes outside and have to go inside.
Elizabeth: Doorbell rings, it is surely Brian here to go for our ‘zine article. Surprise! It is Salvador. Go to a superromantic spot with Salvador? Warning bells! Frustrated that Brian didn’t warn me and confused by feelings. Get into car. Salvador gets into back with me. Just can’t act naturally with him there.
Anna: Poem time!
Salvador: Confused by Elizabeth’s behavior. Is not smooth with the lines. Begin to wonder if Elizabeth is some sort of were-person with personality transformations. Finally arrive at Tower and hope things will improve.
Elizabeth: Extra sooper long ride up the elevator but at the top, the atmosphere was less awkward. Lovely view, could see school, houses, ocean, lots of stuff. For the record, you can’t see the Wakefield house from the Tower because it is in a little valley. Remember birthday with Jessica with matching dresses and a trip to the Tower. Wished on the first star that we’d be best friends forever. Got cold and Salvador gave up his jacket. Then kissed me. Interrupted by Salvador’s grandmother and left the Tower.
Jessica: Bored. No real social life these days. Want to call Damon but call Kristin instead. Ronald calls about fake skin rash thing. Suggests uncle who is a doctor to help. Mom hears name “Ronald” and smiles. Ronald’s parents are lawyers and work with Dad and Mom hates when Ronald is called nerd. Liz returns and hang up phone. Dodge Mom’s questions and run off to find Elizabeth.
Anna: Wrote a letter to Salvador that told some feelings. Waited outside bathroom door for mom to finish 2 hr bath so as to use toilet. Whole family has turned into zombies. Tear up letter to Salvador and flush.
Elizabeth: Lay on bed. Jess pounds on door, ignore her, can’t stop thinking about kiss. Jess barges in through bathroom-forgot to lock the door. Jess wants help with her Ronald problem but can’t summon the energy to help or care. Sainthood in jeopardy.
Funny email from Jessica (pretending to be Stella Von Wakefieldia) to Ronald telling him he has the wrong email address.
Salvador: Kiss was wonderful. After kiss, not so much. Elizabeth seemed to regret it and yours truly turned into a zombie. Brian calls and spill what happened. Then talk to grandmother telling her not to tell anyone. She says that if you want to keep things private, do them in more private places. In other words, get a room!
Article about the Tower by Elizabeth. Apparently Tower was built by Patman and Fowler families. It is about construction methods. The article is not only boring (well, probably to everyone but me, and it doesn’t have enough detail to actually be interesting to me), it is pretty badly written. But probably right on for a 7th/8th grader.
Poem by Anna. It is very bad. It is about people changing.
Salvador: See Brian and Elizabeth talking. Immediately assume they are talking about me. Am wrong. Am stupid. Anna arrives and ‘zine meeting starts.
Minutes from the meeting. It isn’t exactly clear who is writing these minutes because everyone’s deepest thoughts are explored. It is awkward and stupid. Apparently Elizabeth’s article was supposed to be about moonlight and how the Tower would be a good date spot. No one who knows about the Elizabeth-Salvador smooch thinks that is a good idea. Anna just wants to leave and go be depressed on her own.
Elizabeth: Oh, no, Anna must have realized something was going on! Decide to come clean. Volunteer to tell Anna about the Kiss because can’t trust Salvador to act maturely.
Jessica: Bethel asks if I am ready after track practice. Figure Ronald is outside the gym so come up with a way sneak out the back. Stop at locker for first time all day and run into Damon. Think Damon is about to ask me out when Ronald comes up. His Future Scientists of America meeting just let out. Damon leaves and duck into the bathroom, claiming tapeworm issues. Have to find a way to keep Ronald from asking me out. Must set him up with someone---Elizabeth!
Anna: Got home, dad’s car not in driveway. He forgot his promise to bring home icecream early. Check answering machine, he didn’t forget, he just chickened out. Sit in the dark and cry. Doorbell rings, maybe its Salvador finally remembering what month it is. It is Elizabeth. With amazing tact, she tells me how awful I look. Almost shut the door on her but decide to let her in. Actually tell her why am upset. She is a good friend and comforting. Sees the little card Salvador sent and then she leaves. Still am lonely but it isn’t as bad.
Elizabeth: Am angry at Salvador. He is supposed to be Anna’s friend and he hasn’t even talked to her about what is depressing her. He forgot. Confront Salvador and tell him I didn’t tell Anna because she needs two friends and especially her best friend. And there isn’t going to be an “us” because it would hurt Anna when she is already hurting. Order he go talk to Anna like a best friend would. He gets all offended and leaves.
Minutes from Jessica’s Plan to Get Elizabeth to Date Ronald. Uses omniscient POV. Jessica talks up Ronald and tries to get Elizabeth to go out with him. She firmly rebuffs the idea. Jessica stomps off determined to come up with a way to change Elizabeth’s mind because she isn’t ready to be Supreme Overlord Queen Nerd of All Nerds.
Salvador: Head to the park to skip stones and clear mind. Am angry that Elizabeth doesn’t feel the same way I feel about her. And mad that she talked like she was the grown-up and I was just a little kid. Though she had a point, wasn’t being a good friend to Anna. Finally head over to Anna’s and let her sob all over my shirt. Reminisce about her brother Tim who was a really cool guy. Anna is glad to talk to me because I knew Tim and while Elizabeth was nice, she never even met him. Stay and comfort her and kiss her on the forehead…and then on the lips. Anna’s dad arrives then and interrupts the kiss. Am now so confused, I just left. Anna didn’t seem so sad anymore.
Revised Article by Elizabeth. Much better this time and all about the way going up the Tower can change your perspective on things you’ve seen a million times.
Elizabeth: Article not great, but not awful. Am still confused about Salvador, but realize that only have to hide feelings while Anna is feeling down. Phone rings. It is Anna, she talked to Salvador and feels better. But what makes her feel great is that Salvador kissed her. WHAT?! Anna says that knowing Salvador likes her likes her kinda helps with dealing with her feelings about her brother. Try to act natural because am not mad at her. Mad at Salvador and might never speak to him again!
Jessica: Avoiding the phone in case Ronald calls. Phone rings. Won’t answer it until Steven goads me into it. It isn’t Ronald, it is Salvador. He wants to speak to Elizabeth. She doesn’t want to speak to him and tells me to tell him she isn’t there. Go up to Elizabeth’s room and out-stubborn her to find out what is up. She won’t tell and finally offers to go to the geek conference with Ronald if I let her alone. Deal! Salvador calls again but I hang up on him.
Minutes from Liz’s “Date” with Ronald: Arrive at lecture, listen to lecture, Ronald tries to put the moves on Liz, but she rebuffs him. After the lecture, she has a little talk with him…
Second revision of Elizabeth’s article on The Tower. It is all “love and moonlight suck” and “werewolves come out in the moonlight so what is the point.”
Jessica: Talk to Ronald. He had a crush on Elizabeth from the start. But now that he knows she doesn’t like him, he is looking for someone…oh no!
Anna: See Salvador walking to school. Go up to him. It is awkward. But figure that we just need a little time to get used to being a couple and everything will be fine.
Salvador: I screwed up. Anna wants to be my girlfriend and I never thought of her that way. And the girl I do want won’t even come to the phone when I call. Am an idiot of monumental proportions. See Elizabeth in the hall and say hi but she just angrily brushes by without a word. So screwed.
The End.
Elizabeth: Lunchtime. SVJH cafeteria. Salvador and Anna present. Keep thinking about kiss with Salvador. Try to discuss upcoming article for the ‘zine about Sweet Valley Tower. Anna very distracted. Feel she has a right to know I kissed Salvador (why?) or else we both might lose her friendship.
Jessica: Lunchline. Lockermate Ronald slips and drops his lunch everywhere. Am actually nice and hand him a tissue to wipe up. Then when he is short money, offer him a buck. Don’t want to be seen talking to him though or rep will be ruined forever.
Anna: Almost a year since my older brother died, killed by a drunk driver. Can’t tell anyone. Can’t hang out with anyone. Salvador only wants to hang out with me because Elizabeth isn’t able to. He should remember my brother died almost a year ago. Insensitive clod.
Salvador: Anna is acting weird. Can’t forget about The Kiss with Elizabeth. Can’t figure out what to do about The Elizabeth Wakefield Situation. Hormones raging and want to kiss her again. Brian isn’t able to go with her to The Sweet Valley Tower so I take his place. Lucky Salvador. Will buy Anna a card and write a goofy message and that will surely cheer her up.
Jessica: Ronald is waiting. Oh, no, I’ll have to be seen in public with him. He pays back the loan and asks if I am doing anything. Be nice once and they follow you around forever. Ronald must have a crush. Asks about the shampoo scent but I tell him it is really medicine on the huge rash I have that might or might not be contagious. Steven finally arrives to pick me up.
Anna: Dread going into the house. Find a poem written for Salvador
I remember kindergarten:
You ate my paste
Angry that Salvador doesn’t remember what week it is. Mom, still in bathrobe, comes outside and have to go inside.
Elizabeth: Doorbell rings, it is surely Brian here to go for our ‘zine article. Surprise! It is Salvador. Go to a superromantic spot with Salvador? Warning bells! Frustrated that Brian didn’t warn me and confused by feelings. Get into car. Salvador gets into back with me. Just can’t act naturally with him there.
Anna: Poem time!
Salvador: Confused by Elizabeth’s behavior. Is not smooth with the lines. Begin to wonder if Elizabeth is some sort of were-person with personality transformations. Finally arrive at Tower and hope things will improve.
Elizabeth: Extra sooper long ride up the elevator but at the top, the atmosphere was less awkward. Lovely view, could see school, houses, ocean, lots of stuff. For the record, you can’t see the Wakefield house from the Tower because it is in a little valley. Remember birthday with Jessica with matching dresses and a trip to the Tower. Wished on the first star that we’d be best friends forever. Got cold and Salvador gave up his jacket. Then kissed me. Interrupted by Salvador’s grandmother and left the Tower.
Jessica: Bored. No real social life these days. Want to call Damon but call Kristin instead. Ronald calls about fake skin rash thing. Suggests uncle who is a doctor to help. Mom hears name “Ronald” and smiles. Ronald’s parents are lawyers and work with Dad and Mom hates when Ronald is called nerd. Liz returns and hang up phone. Dodge Mom’s questions and run off to find Elizabeth.
Anna: Wrote a letter to Salvador that told some feelings. Waited outside bathroom door for mom to finish 2 hr bath so as to use toilet. Whole family has turned into zombies. Tear up letter to Salvador and flush.
Elizabeth: Lay on bed. Jess pounds on door, ignore her, can’t stop thinking about kiss. Jess barges in through bathroom-forgot to lock the door. Jess wants help with her Ronald problem but can’t summon the energy to help or care. Sainthood in jeopardy.
Funny email from Jessica (pretending to be Stella Von Wakefieldia) to Ronald telling him he has the wrong email address.
Salvador: Kiss was wonderful. After kiss, not so much. Elizabeth seemed to regret it and yours truly turned into a zombie. Brian calls and spill what happened. Then talk to grandmother telling her not to tell anyone. She says that if you want to keep things private, do them in more private places. In other words, get a room!
Article about the Tower by Elizabeth. Apparently Tower was built by Patman and Fowler families. It is about construction methods. The article is not only boring (well, probably to everyone but me, and it doesn’t have enough detail to actually be interesting to me), it is pretty badly written. But probably right on for a 7th/8th grader.
Poem by Anna. It is very bad. It is about people changing.
Salvador: See Brian and Elizabeth talking. Immediately assume they are talking about me. Am wrong. Am stupid. Anna arrives and ‘zine meeting starts.
Minutes from the meeting. It isn’t exactly clear who is writing these minutes because everyone’s deepest thoughts are explored. It is awkward and stupid. Apparently Elizabeth’s article was supposed to be about moonlight and how the Tower would be a good date spot. No one who knows about the Elizabeth-Salvador smooch thinks that is a good idea. Anna just wants to leave and go be depressed on her own.
Elizabeth: Oh, no, Anna must have realized something was going on! Decide to come clean. Volunteer to tell Anna about the Kiss because can’t trust Salvador to act maturely.
Jessica: Bethel asks if I am ready after track practice. Figure Ronald is outside the gym so come up with a way sneak out the back. Stop at locker for first time all day and run into Damon. Think Damon is about to ask me out when Ronald comes up. His Future Scientists of America meeting just let out. Damon leaves and duck into the bathroom, claiming tapeworm issues. Have to find a way to keep Ronald from asking me out. Must set him up with someone---Elizabeth!
Anna: Got home, dad’s car not in driveway. He forgot his promise to bring home icecream early. Check answering machine, he didn’t forget, he just chickened out. Sit in the dark and cry. Doorbell rings, maybe its Salvador finally remembering what month it is. It is Elizabeth. With amazing tact, she tells me how awful I look. Almost shut the door on her but decide to let her in. Actually tell her why am upset. She is a good friend and comforting. Sees the little card Salvador sent and then she leaves. Still am lonely but it isn’t as bad.
Elizabeth: Am angry at Salvador. He is supposed to be Anna’s friend and he hasn’t even talked to her about what is depressing her. He forgot. Confront Salvador and tell him I didn’t tell Anna because she needs two friends and especially her best friend. And there isn’t going to be an “us” because it would hurt Anna when she is already hurting. Order he go talk to Anna like a best friend would. He gets all offended and leaves.
Minutes from Jessica’s Plan to Get Elizabeth to Date Ronald. Uses omniscient POV. Jessica talks up Ronald and tries to get Elizabeth to go out with him. She firmly rebuffs the idea. Jessica stomps off determined to come up with a way to change Elizabeth’s mind because she isn’t ready to be Supreme Overlord Queen Nerd of All Nerds.
Salvador: Head to the park to skip stones and clear mind. Am angry that Elizabeth doesn’t feel the same way I feel about her. And mad that she talked like she was the grown-up and I was just a little kid. Though she had a point, wasn’t being a good friend to Anna. Finally head over to Anna’s and let her sob all over my shirt. Reminisce about her brother Tim who was a really cool guy. Anna is glad to talk to me because I knew Tim and while Elizabeth was nice, she never even met him. Stay and comfort her and kiss her on the forehead…and then on the lips. Anna’s dad arrives then and interrupts the kiss. Am now so confused, I just left. Anna didn’t seem so sad anymore.
Revised Article by Elizabeth. Much better this time and all about the way going up the Tower can change your perspective on things you’ve seen a million times.
Elizabeth: Article not great, but not awful. Am still confused about Salvador, but realize that only have to hide feelings while Anna is feeling down. Phone rings. It is Anna, she talked to Salvador and feels better. But what makes her feel great is that Salvador kissed her. WHAT?! Anna says that knowing Salvador likes her likes her kinda helps with dealing with her feelings about her brother. Try to act natural because am not mad at her. Mad at Salvador and might never speak to him again!
Jessica: Avoiding the phone in case Ronald calls. Phone rings. Won’t answer it until Steven goads me into it. It isn’t Ronald, it is Salvador. He wants to speak to Elizabeth. She doesn’t want to speak to him and tells me to tell him she isn’t there. Go up to Elizabeth’s room and out-stubborn her to find out what is up. She won’t tell and finally offers to go to the geek conference with Ronald if I let her alone. Deal! Salvador calls again but I hang up on him.
Minutes from Liz’s “Date” with Ronald: Arrive at lecture, listen to lecture, Ronald tries to put the moves on Liz, but she rebuffs him. After the lecture, she has a little talk with him…
Second revision of Elizabeth’s article on The Tower. It is all “love and moonlight suck” and “werewolves come out in the moonlight so what is the point.”
Jessica: Talk to Ronald. He had a crush on Elizabeth from the start. But now that he knows she doesn’t like him, he is looking for someone…oh no!
Anna: See Salvador walking to school. Go up to him. It is awkward. But figure that we just need a little time to get used to being a couple and everything will be fine.
Salvador: I screwed up. Anna wants to be my girlfriend and I never thought of her that way. And the girl I do want won’t even come to the phone when I call. Am an idiot of monumental proportions. See Elizabeth in the hall and say hi but she just angrily brushes by without a word. So screwed.
The End.