so after waiting 3 weeks for blood work test results,
I'm told I have to go to the doctor in order to hear my results.
goddamn it.
I hate doctors!
>0<;;;

I feel a bit better today,
still all :'( though.

I just wanna be over and done with this already....
but I know it doesn't really work like that does it?

I feel fucking awful emotionally.

I had to tell my aunt and cousin about what happened with Corey,
they knew how much I loved him. :/

I've just had a bad weekend.

going thrift shopping cheered me up a bit,
but then the Corey talk came so yeah.

I feel like every good thing I get I have to pay for later.

I just want to be happy again.

even though everything ( Read more... )

so apparently my entire family thinks I'm obnoxious and all my problems with people(my mother and such) stem from me being a cold person, argumentive and I 'play the victim well' oh and I'm just not 'socialized' enough. well, being locked in a closet for days on end will do that to you.
thanks only family member who knows about what happened to me

( Read more... )

:(

I really need to pull myself together.

I'm such a mess.

depression and neediness are just kicking my fucking ass right now.

despite this, I had a fairly good day with Carebear(even though I was all depressed and he was all sick), his big brother John and John's sweet little 3 year old Malikai.(hes so cute! ^o^)

my Nana asked after Corey this morning so I had to tell her that we broke up ( Read more... )

I can't stop dreaming of him.

>_<

everything hes done makes me so hurt and angry and sad.

but I pity him as a pathetic person
and I hope he finds his way.

part of me is still so hurt and angry
but I can let go...at least for the most part.

all I want,
is the only thing I'll never get,
an apology.

I loved you.
now leave me be.

I love my new job
and had a great first day,
it just flew by.

I'm feeling pretty positive over all.

my first day of work in about 3 years
is in an hour.

I'm excited.
^_^

I wanted to thank everyone
who is being supportive of me right now,
I'm doing well today.

damn doctor is taking
FOREVER with my blood test results.
>_<

cheers,
everyone.

apprently Corey has been telling everyone we broke up when I moved out...
after he BEGGED me to stay together.
I'm really starting to fucking hate him,
I can't believe I ever thought he actually loved me.
in fact, its laughable, a fucking comedy.

I was worth so little to him,
he didn't even tell me we broke up.
oh, I feel SO fucking stupid right now
( Read more... )

I HAVE A JOB!!!!

STARBUCKS FTW!
:DDDD

I start tomorrow.

I'm sooo glad,
working should keep my mind off Corey(hopefully),

and allow me to get a car and start saving up for an apartment.
(living with dad for more than 6 months is not really an option.)

I'm supposed to be getting my blood work back today as well....