round 17 - team future - everything's fine (heartbeat racing down the interstate) - 2/5
part 1
part v: the novelty is wearing thin
and this phone tag game is endless the novelty is wearing i'm hoping time will pass without any assistance or convincing
--
Hi, you've reached Harry Styles. I'm not taking any calls at the moment, so leave a message only if it's important.
"Harry, wherever you are, you need to get back here. You have a taping and if this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny. We know you flew to LAX, so why aren't you at the studio? At least call."
--
This is Anne Cox! Leave a message at the beep!
"Hi, Mum. Could you tell my management I'm fine and I know what I'm doing? I'm not calling them, I'll get a bollocking. But I'm safe, I'm with the lads. Like... I'm with Liam, and Zayn, and Niall. I'm fine. I'm better than I've been in years, actually. I love you. That's not for Management. That's for you, and Gemma. Um. Bye."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"...I miss you so much, Louis."
--
Hi, you've reached Harry Styles. I'm not taking any calls at the moment, so leave a message only if it's important.
"Harry! Why aren't you picking up your phone? You might ignore everyone else, but you can't ignore me, that's just plain not fair! I mean, it's me, Cher! Your best girl friend? No loyalty, Styles. Don't worry, I love you anyways. But I'm playing the festival in Seattle this weekend, and the big news here is that you dropped out? What's going on with you, Harry? You're not in rehab, are you? Granted, a leave of absence might get you back to where you were before the whole...well, you can never be too sure who's listening to voicemails, but--"
--
Hi, you've reached Harry Styles. I'm not taking any calls at the moment, so leave a message only if it's important.
"Me again! It cut off, so I have to start again. Anyways, wherever you are, gimme a ring, it's not fair to worry all of us like that! Let me know when you're coming back too, so we can set up a lunch date. The triplets want to see their godfather! Plus, I've got news you probably want to hear in person, not through a voicemail. Love you!"
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"Hey Liam, it's Danielle. I know you just left on your big trip, but don't forget to take lots of photos for me, and send postcards! Love you, come home soon!"
--
part vi: to tell you the truth
to tell you the truth i miss everything everything it's a wide wide beautiful world but there's a wide eyed girl back there and she means everything
--
Rather than sleeping in the van, they found a decent looking motel just outside of San Francisco and rented two rooms. After a swift discussion (no one wanted to bunk with Niall, who still refused to admit that he snored), Zayn and Niall piled into one room while Liam and Harry claimed the other. They all had the money to stay in nicer hotels (or get their own rooms), but there was an unspoken agreement that if they were going to do this, they were going to do it right.
Of course, Niall wasn't entirely sure letting Liam and Harry bunk together wouldn't end in someone's murder, but at least they were making an effort.
"So, we're going to do San Francisco," Harry said, sitting cross-legged on Niall's bed and flicking through his phone. "Where next?"
"Phone off," Liam said, entering the room and unfolding a map onto the empty bed. "We agreed no tech, right?"
"Just texting my mum, letting her know I haven't died yet," Harry said, but grudgingly obliged. "Might happen with Niall's driving, who knows."
"Cheeky," Niall remarked, rolling his eyes. "Alright. So we started out here--" he tapped LA on the map. "--and we've got to end up here." He drew a red circle around New York. "Anyone have anything against Disney?"
"We're not driving back to LA," Zayn said as he emerged from the bathroom, looking faintly relieved. "Absolutely not. LA traffic is murder, and it will result in your murder if we have to go back there."
"You weren't even driving," protested Niall. "But I meant Florida. Anyways, San Francisco to Vegas,--we all want to hit Vegas, right?" Everyone expressed agreement. Zayn sat on the bed next to Harry, propping his head on Harry's shoulder.
Liam tapped the map. "So we go Vegas, then wind down towards Florida? Make a stop at Graceland, pay tribute to a musician before us? Harry, you can even film it and put it on YouTube."
Harry snorted and feigned disinterest but he wasn't fooling anyone. Niall looked between Liam and Harry, sensing that Harry was being more than a little passive aggressive. Harry was probably just tired. "As long as we stop somewhere with some truly terrible American diner food."
"Deal." Niall grinned, showing teeth. "And Sweet Tea!"
"You are not British, that is not tea, that is sugar water." Zayn wrinkled his nose and stuck his tongue out.
"It's delicious, is what it is," Niall countered. "Just because you--"
"Okay!" Liam interrupted, throwing his hands up. "Moving on! We could take Route 66. That's historic and touristy, isn't it?"
"I think so. We could stop by DC," Zayn offered.
"There's supposedly a living history town or something we never got to go see," Harry chipped in. At some point, he'd dug his camera out of his bag and was filming the discussion, complete with shots of the map. "Somewhere in Virginia. Want to go be British invaders?"
"I'm in," Niall said cheerfully. "I'll be an Irish invader, of course. Wait, does that mean I side with the Yankees?"
Everyone paused to consider it. "I don't think so?" Liam finally said.
"So. We hit San Francisco tomorrow, then follow Route 66--stop at Graceland, go to Disney World, drive up the East Coast--stop at a beach somewhere?" Everyone nodded agreement as Zayn ticked off each point on his fingers. "Then DC? After DC or the living history town, we work our way up to New York, maybe ambush Louis, and then from New York--"
"Go back home."
Niall blinked; Harry turned his camera to film Niall's face. "I was hoping we'd get to visit Zayn's cafe in London, see our families and all, but okay."
Liam made a face. "God, I wish. But I could only wrangle two weeks from when I arrived at LAX. Tour stuff and all."
"So don't go back on time," Harry suggested. "S'what I did?"
"You what?!" Three different voices asked incredulously.
"I may have... gone temporarily AWOL," the brunet said, shrugging sheepishly and setting his video camera on the nightstand where it could see all of them. "But I wanted to see everyone and my band's on a break right now, so I could film, and I got everything crucial done and all I was going to be doing with this week was standing in the background of scenes so I just got on a plane and left? I have next week off officially, though."
"Harry!" Liam was very clearly disappointed in his former bandmate, something Harry very obviously didn't appreciate. "Why?"
Harry shrugged, scooting further away from Liam. "I missed my old friends, even if I sort of hate one-fourth of the people in this room? I just. There was a chance of seeing Louis and... well, I miss him. A lot. I just need to get closure, is all."
"Okay, new topic," Niall said, sensing that any more on this particular conversation would end in Harry crying and to be honest, he wasn't nearly drunk enough to deal with that. Actually, there wasn't enough alcohol in the world to deal with a crying Harry. Niall unfortunately knew this from experience. "Liam, what's new with you?"
Liam shrugged. "Danielle and I got married," he said quietly, fiddling with a ring on his left hand that Niall hadn't noticed before.
The room exploded in noise, Zayn incredulous, Harry confused, and Niall furious.
"And you didn't tell us?!" Niall yelled. "Jesus Christ, Liam!"
"You're married?" Harry blinked. "When did that happen?"
"Liam what the fuck, man?" Zayn roared, nearly falling off the bed and almost taking Harry with him.
Liam sort of flinched away from the noise. "I mean. I wanted you there?"
"So why didn't you invite us?" Niall huffed angrily. "Jesus fucking Christ. You could have sent an email, or a text, or I dunno, picked up the phone and called us?"
"In case you haven't noticed, no one knows yet," Liam pointed out, recovering from his initial shock at the reaction. "It's not really a public thing--people still think we're dating. Trust me, if I was going to invite more than three people to my wedding, you would all be at the top of the list."
Harry leaned forward. "So why didn't you tell us?" He was still filming, for whatever reason.
"It was sort of a spur of the moment thing, actually. And if any of this ends up in your video diary I will personally make sure you are miserable for the rest of your life."
Harry nodded solemnly. "It won't go in. I just want a record, s'all."
Liam glared at Harry until Zayn elbowed him.
"Okay, well... Danielle and I decided we were just going to do it last year. I mean, we'd been together for seven years. We thought it was long enough to get married--and it ended up just being me, Danielle, and two of Danielle's students as witnesses. So really, there's only five people in the world--plus you lot--that know about it. Our parents don't even know."
Niall still looked annoyed, but he looked more confused now. "Wait. Why don't they know?"
Liam sighed. "Okay. Harry, camera off. No recordings of this, anywhere." He waited until Harry switched off the camera and handed it over to him for good measure. "Danielle... Danielle can't have kids, and we're trying to adopt. But we can't adopt unless we're married--some weird international adoption law that wants to ensure stable homes, I guess--so we got married really quietly so we can start the paperwork and such. We're going to have a big wedding and all in a year or so--you're all invited--but we, we just want kids."
"You still should have told us," Zayn said, but his eyes were soft. Once upon a time, he'd wanted kids desperately too. He didn't seem as angry with Liam as he'd been earlier--perhaps knowing one of the reasons behind Liam's distance helped.
"In case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly friends anymore," Liam pointed out. "I hadn't even talked to any of you except Niall since the band split. I was pretty sure that you two--" he gestured to Zayn and Harry "--still hated me until Niall phoned and said we were all doing a road trip. And as for Louis...well, we only talked for about a year, and only about as much as I ever talk with Olly. Not much at all, just a 'hey, how are you?' sort of thing."
"We'd still have liked to know," Harry said softly. "I don't think any of us actually hated you. I was just pissed you picked--" he cut off, looking down. "Well. You know. But that's ancient history now."
"So none of you have kept anything from everyone else?" Liam asked, trying to steer the conversation away from himself. "I know I'm not the only one guilty of keeping secrets."
"I have a girlfriend," Niall said, shrugging. "I'm not nearly as high profile as any of you, no one's really interested in my girlfriends and whatnot, but... yeah, I've got a girlfriend. Her name's Annabelle, she's from Arizona, and I don't think we're going to last past six or seven months. But she's fun to be around and I like her." He grinned. "I haven't quite moved into the serious relationship phase of my life. Free spirit and all that."
"I'm dating again," Zayn volunteered, staring out the window. "It's only been a week or two, and we'll be having a long chat after I get back, plus it's more of a friends-with-benefits thing, but... I mean, if we're going around talking about what's changed in our lives, that's what's changed for me."
"Shit, are you sure? I mean... after Taylor." Harry looked vaguely worried--as they all did. He was fiddling with his camera, which he'd apparently flicked back on.
Zayn exhaled, fingers scrabbling for his packet of cigarettes. "Can we just agree that marrying Taylor Swift was a bad idea and move on?" He reluctantly put his fags away when Liam's pointed glare reminded him that they were in a nonsmoking room. "There's already a whole album out there dedicated to it and I have to hear it just about every day at work; I do not need it from you lot as well." He sighed. "She's nice, she makes me happy. I think we're the type of friends who have to try to become something else before becoming actual friends."
"Who are you dating, then?" Liam asked.
Zayn shook his head. "You wouldn't know her, she's not famous at all."
"A name, though."
"Nicole Carter. Her older sister Rosie works in my bakery."
"Wait, Rosie Carter. The she-Cowell? You're dating the sister of the she-Cowell?" Niall said incredulously, jaw dropping. "Whoa."
"She-Cowell?" Harry asked in confusion.
"If Simon Cowell was a woman, had red hair, ran a bakery and barely topped five-six, he would be Rosie Carter," Niall explained, still gaping at Zayn. "And apparently, our Zayn is dating her baby sister. How, exactly, is dating the sister of the she-Cowell better than Taylor?"
"She's yet to write a song about our sex life," Zayn snipped. "I dunno. I just like her. I mean. Not like I'm-going-to-marry-her-and-be-in-love-forever, you know? Sort of like Niall's girlfriend, except I'm getting over a mistake. Cos. You know. Marrying Taylor was a mistake. Like. The biggest mistake of my life. I was trying not to focus on feelings I had for someone else, and... well, look how that turned out."
"A triple platinum record, framed divorce paperwork and a restraining order?" Harry looked vaguely amused.
Zayn snorted and flicked his lighter open and closed. "I don't actually have a restraining order on her. That is a tabloid rumor."
"Damnit," Niall swore. "No restraining order groupon, then?"
Liam burst out laughing while the others gave him weird looks. Niall shook his head and refused to clarify, letting Liam explain why, exactly, that was funny.
Zayn dating again was a scary thing--he and Taylor Swift had begun dating when he was twenty and she twenty-three and it had gotten rather serious rather fast. They'd gotten married within six months of knowing each other--and divorced six months after that. While Zayn had managed to move on, Taylor apparently hadn't gotten the message that they were actually entirely over (there was a reason most people assumed Zayn had taken out a restraining order on her) and continued to try to get in touch.
Liam, on the other hand... it was surprisingly easy to picture him as married. Maybe it was because he and Danielle complimented each other so well, and always had. The fact that he hadn't invited any of them was a little more hurtful, but then again, no one knew about it until he told them, so that was probably a mark in the "Liam-is-still-really-fucking-good-at-keeping-his-personal-life-out-of-the-tabloids" column. Especially since Danielle's inability to have children and the adoption procedures hadn't even been a whisper. Niall was really impressed with Liam and wondered if Liam had ever considered going into PR.
Harry...Niall wasn't really sure. There were parts of him that seemed older and wiser, but he still seemed like the carefree baby of the band. Niall wasn't really surprised that Harry wasn't over Louis yet; Harry and Louis' romance had always seemed more like serious-forever love than two teenagers getting off. And yet it had absolutely fallen apart, leaving Harry struggling to deal with it.
As for Niall himself, it was strange to think that these boys weren't a) the people he remembered or b) boys anymore.
San Francisco the next morning was an interesting experience. Niall and Harry got lost in Chinatown while Liam dragged Zayn out to see the Golden Gate Bridge. They all met up at Fisherman's Wharf for dinner, and they were all violently reminded of the sheer amount of food Niall could pack away.
"How the hell are you still hungry?" Harry demanded, staring as Niall wolfed down his bowl of soup. "Like. You were eating all the way through Chinatown. How are you still eating?"
"My metabolism never ran down," Niall admitted. He grinned widely. "I don't think it's ever going to. Which is awesome."
Liam rolled his eyes and returned to quizzing Harry about Chinatown.
After dinner, while they were walking back to their hotel, they lost Niall in Ghirardelli square. Zayn was dispatched to fetch him, and when they returned, Niall was carrying a box the size of his torso and refusing to let anyone go near it.
"Nothing's really changed, has it?" Harry asked quietly, laughing as Niall stored the box in the back of the van and scribbled "NIALL'S, DO NOT TOUCH UPON PAIN OF DEATH AND DISEMBOWELMENT" in red sharpie.
"Not really," Liam agreed. "Did you expect us to be entirely different people?"
Harry looked sheepish. "A little?"
"Well, we're not. And I'm really not out to make your life miserable," Liam added. "I promise. I miss my friends, s'all."
Harry blinked and held out his hand. "Truce?"
"Truce. Let's just not bring up Louis if at all possible."
"Done deal." Harry grinned, his first real smile since embarking on the trip. "Hey, want to go mess with Niall's chocolate?"
Liam laughed. "Why the hell not?"--
part vii: silence is easy
silence is easy to say this is killing me...they turned out the streetlights before i could say goodbye guess i was a lost cause you still kept me alive
--
Hello, this is Death. I'm not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
"Harry, I swear your voicemail messages get worse and worse every time I call you. But anyways, it's Holland. Management and the director are all freaking out--maybe you should consider coming back sometime soon? Or at least let us know when you'll be back, because the script writing department is going to murder you. You're not dead, are you? If you are, that's really rude not to let anyone know where you were going. I'll start preparing a funeral for you! Hugs and kisses! Take care!"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"Dani! It's Liam! I guess you're teaching a class right now or out with Becky, but I just wanted to give you a heads up that I might have told the lads about us being married? Don't get mad, I just...I couldn't not tell them, it was sort of...I don't have an excuse. But you're probably going to get bombarded with phone calls and texts from them pretty soon. Just so you know."
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"Danielle! You and Liam got married? What the hell, why didn't you tell us! Congrats, and good luck on the adoption process! Harry, by the way."
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"It's Niall, and you fucking got married without telling me?! Where is the love and the trust, Peazer-Payne? I thought we had something special! We'll have to stop our affair now--No, Liam, stop, I was joking, no, don't you dare tickle me, Liam! Danielle, your husband is cruel!"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"Zayn speaking. So apparently you got married? Next time you get hitched in secret, let me know! I invited you to my wedding, you should have invited me to yours. I'm just joking, but seriously, we're all happy for you. I'm pretty sure Liam might be murdering Niall, though. Harry, don't get involv--"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"For the record, I didn't kill Niall. Harry's currently sitting on him. So. That might change soon. Love you!"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I'm seriously starting to wonder if you ever answer your phone, or if you have it permanently blocked or whatever, but I told the others and thought you should know--Danielle and I got married. We'll be doing a big fancy wedding in about a year or so, but we're legally married and I thought you deserved to know. We miss you, mate. It's not too late to come out and join us."
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!
"Liam, honey. I just got your message--and the rest of the lads, except Louis--and it's totally fine. I wanted you to invite them, remember? Or at least call them? But since you told them, I get to tell my dance group, okay? Prepare to be bombarded with texts and the like, as revenge. Love you lots!"
--
"Danielle Peazer speaking."
"Hi, it's Louis Tomlinson."
"Louis?!"
"Don't sound so surprised."
"Well, you haven't exactly talked to any of us in forever. What do you need, anyways?"
"Liam left me a message, said you got married. I wanted to say congratulations--you always suited each other so well. I'm glad it all worked out for you, especially after your breakup awhile back."
"Thanks. You know they all miss you, right?"
"Yeah, and that's why I didn't go."
"Louis..."
"What?"
"No offense, but why did you call me? Liam hasn't even got his phone on right now, I just left him a message."
"It's easier to go through another party."
"So you're using me."
"Pretty much? I mean. I'm not ignoring them entirely. But. I don't want to see them. So. I just wanted to say congratulations, and if you could tell Liam 'no chance in hell', that would be great."
"No chance in he--Hello? Louis fucking Tomlinson, you did not just hang up on me. Fucking prick."
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"Liam, it's Danielle again. I just got a phone call from Louis, and it was honestly one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had. He said congratulations and then to tell you 'no chance in hell', but I have no idea what that could even mean. Care to explain?"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"It's Liam. I'm not supposed to be on my phone right now--the others are asleep--but I just told Louis it wasn't too late to come out and join us. I guess his answer is no. Um. Could you ask Zoe to stop calling me? She's going to use up all of my memory space. Thanks! I'll call you tomorrow evening, okay?"
--
Hello, this is Death. I'm not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
"It's Tyler, callback number is 555-1923. Which you should already know. Seriously. Get your ass in gear and call the fucking director before he has a stroke and dies slowly and painfully in the middle of the set. We like this one, remember? He's nicer than the last one. And set's not the same without you, man. I'm pretty sure Dylan is going to stage a revolt if you don't get back her soon."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"Hey Louis! Charlie here! We're still meeting at your place for coffee before dress rehearsal, right? If not...I'm coming over anyways! If yes, see you then!"
--
part viii: stories taking us back
from coast to coast i'll make the most of every second I've been given with this crowd without a doubt you're all i dream about at night we lie awake with stories taking us back to the nights we felt alive
--
"So I was thinking," Harry began.
"Always a dangerous pastime there," Liam teased from where he was driving. "You sure you want to continue, or do you want to just stop before someone gets hurt?" Harry rolled his eyes and turned the video camera onto Liam rather than the ungainly way Niall and Zayn were sprawled over each other and sleeping.
"We're going to Vegas, right?"
"Unless the plan was changed since I last looked, yes." Liam blinked. "And we might go to the Grand Canyon after that, if we can get Niall over the heights thing."
"We're going out drinking and bar hopping when we're in Vegas, right?"
Liam shrugged. "I still don't really drink, so if you and Zayn and Niall want to go out and do damage to your livers and kidneys and other internal organs, you're welcome to."
"Come on, you've got to come with us," Harry whined. "At least as a babysitter or something. It won't be fun if it's not all of us."
"Fine." Liam finally caved. "Alright, fine. We'll go. But we're doing a bunch of ridiculous tourist stuff first."
And that was how they came to be wandering around the M&M factory tour, rather than immediately going and getting drunk.
"Next, we're going to go do a scavenger hunt," Liam said cheerfully, following the tour guide. Niall was eyeing the various candies with an expression that could only be described as 'this is my new fetish' and the rest of them were valiantly trying to pretend that was an expression they weren't seeing. "Famous landmarks recreated here in Vegas."
"So basically the pyramids, the Eiffel tower and...what else is there?"
"I dunno. Why don't we split up and see who can get the most photos?" Zayn suggested, and promptly grabbed Niall, dragging him out of the M&M factory, despite the brunet's protests.
--
Harry and Liam teaming up was probably a bad idea. They'd gotten six photos each, for a total of twelve, before a girl let out an embarrassingly high pitched squeal and they were suddenly running through the crowded streets of Las Vegas, avoiding a fan mob.
"We should have split with Niall and Zayn," Liam panted, dragging Harry around a corner.
"Yeah, well, we didn't," Harry spat back, and then focused on his breathing. A block later, Liam turned sharply and pulled Harry into a touristy souvenir shop.
"What even are we doing in this place, we're going to get caught by the fan mob out there," Harry hissed.
Liam pulled a shirt off the rack. "We're going to look like the ultimate tourists. And I need to buy a postcard to send to Danielle anyways."
Harry looked at the shirt and groaned. "Why do I feel like we're going to regret this?"
--
"What the fuck are you wearing?" Zayn demanded when Harry and Liam returned to their hotel. "Holy shit."
Niall looked up from where he was scribbling down club and bar locations from his phone and promptly fell off the bed laughing. "What happened to you? We were just going to take pictures of the landmarks! Liam!"
Liam shrugged, his face practically hidden by the gigantic hat he'd grabbed. The party sunglasses covered the parts of his face the hat didn't. He was wearing a massively oversized t-shirt that declared 'someone i love went to vegas and all they got me was this stupid t-shirt' and Harry's too-tight skinny jeans--a look that made him look incredibly stupid. Somehow, he'd managed to turn his hair a fairly bright green.
Harry, conversely, looked like someone had emptied an entire bottle of sunscreen onto his face and then wiped bare streaks under his eyes. He was also wearing an 'i heart vegas' singlet that looked like it was made for either very small children or female strippers, and had a giant tote bag over his shoulder. The pattern of the tote bag matched the shorts he'd very obviously bought here in Vegas, if the rhinestoning on the ass declaring him "Vegas' Sweetheart" was anything to go by. It also looked like he'd dumped glitter in his hair at some point, sprinkling glitter onto his sunscreen-facial as well.
"I figured if we looked crazy enough the fans wouldn't believe it was us," Liam said. "We went out, said we were Harry Styles and Liam Payne. They thought we were insane and walked away."
"It did work," Harry admitted, going into the bathroom and reappearing with a wad of toilet paper to scrub the sunscreen off his face with. "But I also got wolf-whistled at and asked what I was doing with dork over there."
Zayn stared. "You have sunscreen all over your face."
"And Liam's got green hair. Apparently I make a hot girl?" Harry shrugged. "I dunno. I don't really have the arse to fill out these shorts." As if to prove his point, he turned and wiggled his butt in Zayn's direction. Niall, who had managed to get his laughter under control, erupted into a fresh burst of hyena-like cackles."Is my arse flat? My arse is flat, isn't it."
Zayn facepalmed. "I'm not commenting on your arse. Not now, not ever."
"I think they were smashed, if that helps," Liam contributed. Niall laughed even harder.
"It's three in the afternoon!"
"It's Las Vegas."
"Fair point. So can we go get smashed now?"
"Not until after dinner," Niall shouted, sitting up very suddenly. "We're going to the buffet that makes chocolate everything."
Harry looked vaguely interested; Zayn groaned; Liam just beamed, adjusted his hat, then leaned over to wipe sunscreen off of Harry's face and fling it onto Niall.
--
--
In retrospect, it probably was a bad idea to go clubbing in Vegas, and an even worse idea to try to match Niall because even Liam was drunk at this point, and he'd only drink a third of what the rest of them had.
Harry blamed the fact that Niall was an unfairly coherent drunk and that Zayn was sobering up, because that meant it was really only Harry and Liam making fools of themselves. Well. Only Harry and Liam making fools of themselves after Zayn switched to water rather than shots.
"How have we not been papped?" Zayn muttered in disbelief, pulling Harry off a table. "I mean, you and Liam, you're the only ones still famous in America. Christ. But still."
"How--how're you not drunk?" Harry mumbled into Zayn's collarbone, deciding he wanted a cuddle instead of dancing, and Zayn didn't really mind when Harry stuck to him like a limpet anyways. He was pretty sure he remembered Zayn making some phone calls and slurring earlier, but he wasn't drunk now so how was he not?
Harry's head hurt when he tried to think, so he stopped.
"Trust me, I'm drunk," Zayn said. "I'm not going to remember any of this in the morning. I just switched to water an hour ago so I'm sobering up. Niall, here, you take Tweedledrunk, and I'll go look for Tweedledrunker."
"D'ya mean Liam?" Harry slurred. "Cos he shouldn't be drinking. On'ly got one--one--what's the thingy that he's only got one of?"
"His kidney?" Niall asked in amusement, accepting Zayn's transference of Harry to his lap. He calmly petted Harry's sweaty curls as the younger man clung to him and mumbled about how Liam shouldn't be drinking. "It healed, remember? He can drink fine, like the rest of us."
Harry pouted. "Then he's not nearly drunk enough. Zayn!" he swayed from his spot on Niall's lap, and only Niall's arms around his waist stopped him from falling over. "Zayn! You should go fix that!"
Zayn sighed and patted Harry's head reassuringly. "I think Liam's just drunk enough. You're a little too drunk."
"Am not!"
"Harry, you really are," Niall said, laughing as Harry's pout deepened and he petulantly returned to snuggling into Niall's shoulder. Niall's fast metabolism and high alcohol tolerance meant he was a bit closer to the hung-over end of the spectrum than everyone else, and that he wasn't nearly as drunk as the rest of them. "Zayn, just go find Liam."
Zayn saluted and wandered off into the depths of the bar to find his former bandmate.
He found Liam sitting with a group of girls, showing them pictures of Danielle on his phone. He seemed to be halfway through the story of how he and Danielle had met, which was actually a lot less stalkery than it seemed at first. The girls were cooing over Liam and his photos--one girl was even openly weeping and mumbling something about being 'forever alone'.
Zayn just stared. "Only you, Liam."
Then he fished his phone out of his back pocket and began filming it.
--
part ix: be any more obvious
i would've married you in vegas had you given me the chance to say i do couldn't make it any more obvious could you be any more obvious
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"It's Taylor, hi! Zayn just called me, said he was with you, if he's in the US could you please tell him to meet me for coffee at some point? I mean, you don't have to but I want to see him and he called me first and we talked for awhile and I sort of got the feeling he wanted to talk? If you could just pass that message along that would be great! Um, thanks! And if you could change your voicemail that would also be great! Hugs and kisses!"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"Louis...Louis I miss you. Why didn't you come? Are you mad at me?"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"There are so many people here, you'd have fun, you like people, but you don't like us anymore. I don't know why you don't like us anymore because Zayn is lots and lots of fun and Niall knows the really good drinks and Liam is not so much fun but he's our friend and he's drinking and you should he here to tease him, because he never did that before."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I LOST NIALL DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"... fuck."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I'll leave if you want to see them. They all miss you. Maybe more than I do. Fuck, I'm drunk. I said I wasn't going to call you but I can't remember why. It was probably a stupid reason. Do you know what the reason was? Because I don't. Are you still mad about the thing? Cos I'm not. I don't think I ever was."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I'm sorry, whatever I did, I'm sorry."
--
Hi! Harry's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
"Harry! I know you're not answering your phone right now--Gemma, by the way, but you should know that by the voice--but Alan took his first steps! Come and visit soon, he's getting so big and wants to see his uncle! Mum wants you to call by the way, she said something about you being lost in America? Don't forget to come home! Hugs and kisses! Take care of yourself! And change your voicemail message!"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"Sorry about Harry, Louis. It's Niall, and I've confiscated his phone until he's sober again. Won't happen again!"
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"Hey Liam! Danielle here. I hope you're having fun on your road trip. The paps still haven't figured out you're gone--I told them you've been holed up writing your ass off and they seem to believe me. I miss you tons; the house is so empty without you. Flopsy and Cocoa say hello! They've been moping without you to take them for walks, and the girls at the studio all send their love! Love you lots, miss you loads, I'll try calling again Sunday evening, come home soon!"
--
part x: we were right to carry on
maybe we were right to carry on to carry on even when they said we'd be undone take it as a sign we can still go on, we still belong even when the worst is yet to come
--
"So, Zayn," Liam said, sitting next to Zayn on the van's bumper. He rolled his eyes at Harry and Niall, ten meters away, as Niall teased Harry about his hangover and taunted him with coffee and a box of doughnuts.
"So, Liam," Zayn mimicked.
"Want to tell me why I had a drunken voicemail from you last night declaring your love for Harry?"
Zayn grimaced. "Oh, God."
"Yeah, 'oh, God' is right. You married Taylor Swift to get over Harry?" Zayn's horrified expression said it all. Liam sighed and wrapped an arm around Zayn's shoulders. "Zayn, mate. That's not healthy. What about that girl you're dating, Nadine or whoever?"
"Nicolle." Zayn sighed, leaning onto Liam's shoulder. "Did my message cut off or something? Because I got over it a long time ago. But I'm over it now, thank god. That was a really fucking terrible year. I felt stupid and guilty and I'm over it now."
Across the parking lot, Harry gave a shriek when he realized Niall had his camera and was filming the whole thing. Liam rolled his eyes as Harry tried to figure out how to retrieve the camera but not spill Niall's tray of coffee. "You're over it now?"
"Yeah. Have been for a while. I mean... Harry was always Louis', yeah? And I'm not going to be anyone's rebound. It only really lasted a year or so, and I felt so embarrassed about it. And yeah, Taylor was a mistake, but... I mean. I guess the reason I called you and told you is was because the four of us being together brought back old memories and shit, and I was tired of secrets. I'm not going to make excuses for drunk me. But... seriously, you have to admit, last night wasn't a lot different from the last few years of touring."
Liam laughed--either at what Zayn was saying or Harry failing to obtain the camera but succeeding at snagging the largest cup of coffee, Zayn wasn't sure. "Yeah, a bit," he said. "A lot less Harry and Louis sucking each other's faces off, more me drinking, but, yeah, I get where you're coming from." Liam looked at Zayn steadily. "You sure you're over it?"
"Dead sure." Zayn grimaced. "Thinking about it skeeves me out now. It was just something I had to go through , I guess. I have no idea what I was thinking then, but I know I got over it about the time Taylor and I split."
"Speaking of Taylor..."
"Oh, fuck no," Zayn whined. "Tell me I didn't..."
"Sorry, mate. Apparently right after you called me and right before you switched to water, you drunk dialed Taylor. And had a long chat, apparently, if the message I got is anything to go by."
Zayn winced and looked warily at his phone, which he hadn't turned on since the night before.
"Are you over Taylor?" Liam asked gently.
Zayn shrugged. "I think so? Less than I'm over Harry, at any rate. I genuinely liked Taylor, but we stopped working because I was focused on the lads and how we were all falling apart, you know? So... I dunno, maybe. But I like Nicolle, and I used to like Taylor, so maybe if we gave it a shot it'd work? But it didn't last time and I don't know if I'd be able to handle that fallout."
"And you told her this?"
"You'd know better than me, Li. I don't even remember calling her, much less what I might have said. Is she mad?"
Liam sighed. "Let me put it this way: if there aren't at least three songs on her next album about you, I will shave Harry's head and eat his curls for breakfast."
"You'll do what to my hair?" Harry asked in horror, triumphantly clutching a coffee cup the size of his head and a doughnut roughly the same size. He looked vaguely more human with his infusion of caffeine and sugar. "In other news, look at the size of my doughnut! Only in America!"
"Let me guess, you've already instagramed it," Zayn said dryly. Harry only rolled his eyes.
"Don't be ridiculous. Niall beat me to it." He took a bite of doughnut and washed it back with coffee, but he still winced when a car went by with music pounding out of the speakers at a ridiculously high volume. "Back to my hair. Liam, you're going to do what to my hair?"
"Zayn drunk dialed his ex last night," Liam said, as if that made sense to anyone who hadn't been part of their previous conversation.
Niall, who'd followed Harry over, chortled and passed out coffee and doughnuts to Liam and Zayn. "Three-song minimum, right? That'll make, what, four albums about you, Zayn?"
Zayn rolled his eyes and bit into his doughnut, reasoning that if his mouth was full of sugar and pastry, he couldn't say anything truly insulting to Niall.
"I mean, there was the one where you were sickeningly in love--right after you got married, wasn't that the one that went double platinum?--and then the one after you split that went triple platinum, and then the fuck-you-I'm-doing-fine-without-you-but-if-you-want-to-come-back-my-door-is-still-open album that only went platinum, and now the ex-drunk-dialed-me-from-Vegas album that'll probably go at least double platinum." Niall probably would have ticked off each of the albums on his fingers if he wasn't too busy filming them all with Harry's camera.
Zayn finally swallowed his bite. "Just for that, I'm finding a metal station and setting it on full volume, then sticking you next to Harry."
"Don't you fucking dare--" Harry yelped at the same time as Liam glared and said "I will leave you by the side of the road if you do that so help me God I will."
Niall just laughed. "I'm driving," he informed them cheerfully. "Alright, everyone, in the van, people with hangovers can pass out in the back--"
"People with iron livers can fuck off," Harry countered, but climbed into the backseat and settled his coffee in a cup holder before drawing the curtains shut. A wide yawn crossed his face, causing his eyes to scrunch up behind his sunglasses. "Let's cross this way too fucking large to be reasonable country, people."
"Can we do an all-nighter?" Liam suggested. "Sleep in the car, take shifts driving? That way we'll get there faster and we don't have to worry about finding motels and stuff."
"I'm game," Zayn said, crawling into the seat in behind Harry and sprawling out. "But I'm not driving for at least three hours." Everyone looked at Harry, but he was already asleep, despite having downed enough coffee to keep even Zayn awake for at least five hours.
"You and me in the front seat then," Niall said, turning to Liam. "Unless you want to sleep too?"
"No, I'm good," Liam replied and slid the van's side door shut. Niall climbed into the front seat and waited for Liam to get settled before he turned the blinkers on and made to pull out of the parking lot when--
"Wait, can we go to the bathroom first?"
"Really, Zayn? Really?"
--
part xi: phone tag game
and this phone tag game is endless the novelty is wearing i'm hoping time will pass without any assistance or convincing
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, this really isn't funny anymore. Call us. Now."
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, why are we fielding rumors that you're in Vegas?"
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, answer your phone."
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, there's going to be legal problems when you get back, both with the show and your band."
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, it's Clarisse. Are you alright? We're all getting pretty worried. Just...leave a message or something, let us know if you're okay or not. There are reporters calling for comment and it's getting a bit weird. We understand your need to get away and find yourself, or whatever, but make sure you're back on time for the tour. If you're not, it's not just you you're fucking up."
part v: the novelty is wearing thin
and this phone tag game is endless the novelty is wearing i'm hoping time will pass without any assistance or convincing
--
Hi, you've reached Harry Styles. I'm not taking any calls at the moment, so leave a message only if it's important.
"Harry, wherever you are, you need to get back here. You have a taping and if this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny. We know you flew to LAX, so why aren't you at the studio? At least call."
--
This is Anne Cox! Leave a message at the beep!
"Hi, Mum. Could you tell my management I'm fine and I know what I'm doing? I'm not calling them, I'll get a bollocking. But I'm safe, I'm with the lads. Like... I'm with Liam, and Zayn, and Niall. I'm fine. I'm better than I've been in years, actually. I love you. That's not for Management. That's for you, and Gemma. Um. Bye."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"...I miss you so much, Louis."
--
Hi, you've reached Harry Styles. I'm not taking any calls at the moment, so leave a message only if it's important.
"Harry! Why aren't you picking up your phone? You might ignore everyone else, but you can't ignore me, that's just plain not fair! I mean, it's me, Cher! Your best girl friend? No loyalty, Styles. Don't worry, I love you anyways. But I'm playing the festival in Seattle this weekend, and the big news here is that you dropped out? What's going on with you, Harry? You're not in rehab, are you? Granted, a leave of absence might get you back to where you were before the whole...well, you can never be too sure who's listening to voicemails, but--"
--
Hi, you've reached Harry Styles. I'm not taking any calls at the moment, so leave a message only if it's important.
"Me again! It cut off, so I have to start again. Anyways, wherever you are, gimme a ring, it's not fair to worry all of us like that! Let me know when you're coming back too, so we can set up a lunch date. The triplets want to see their godfather! Plus, I've got news you probably want to hear in person, not through a voicemail. Love you!"
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"Hey Liam, it's Danielle. I know you just left on your big trip, but don't forget to take lots of photos for me, and send postcards! Love you, come home soon!"
--
part vi: to tell you the truth
to tell you the truth i miss everything everything it's a wide wide beautiful world but there's a wide eyed girl back there and she means everything
--
Rather than sleeping in the van, they found a decent looking motel just outside of San Francisco and rented two rooms. After a swift discussion (no one wanted to bunk with Niall, who still refused to admit that he snored), Zayn and Niall piled into one room while Liam and Harry claimed the other. They all had the money to stay in nicer hotels (or get their own rooms), but there was an unspoken agreement that if they were going to do this, they were going to do it right.
Of course, Niall wasn't entirely sure letting Liam and Harry bunk together wouldn't end in someone's murder, but at least they were making an effort.
"So, we're going to do San Francisco," Harry said, sitting cross-legged on Niall's bed and flicking through his phone. "Where next?"
"Phone off," Liam said, entering the room and unfolding a map onto the empty bed. "We agreed no tech, right?"
"Just texting my mum, letting her know I haven't died yet," Harry said, but grudgingly obliged. "Might happen with Niall's driving, who knows."
"Cheeky," Niall remarked, rolling his eyes. "Alright. So we started out here--" he tapped LA on the map. "--and we've got to end up here." He drew a red circle around New York. "Anyone have anything against Disney?"
"We're not driving back to LA," Zayn said as he emerged from the bathroom, looking faintly relieved. "Absolutely not. LA traffic is murder, and it will result in your murder if we have to go back there."
"You weren't even driving," protested Niall. "But I meant Florida. Anyways, San Francisco to Vegas,--we all want to hit Vegas, right?" Everyone expressed agreement. Zayn sat on the bed next to Harry, propping his head on Harry's shoulder.
Liam tapped the map. "So we go Vegas, then wind down towards Florida? Make a stop at Graceland, pay tribute to a musician before us? Harry, you can even film it and put it on YouTube."
Harry snorted and feigned disinterest but he wasn't fooling anyone. Niall looked between Liam and Harry, sensing that Harry was being more than a little passive aggressive. Harry was probably just tired. "As long as we stop somewhere with some truly terrible American diner food."
"Deal." Niall grinned, showing teeth. "And Sweet Tea!"
"You are not British, that is not tea, that is sugar water." Zayn wrinkled his nose and stuck his tongue out.
"It's delicious, is what it is," Niall countered. "Just because you--"
"Okay!" Liam interrupted, throwing his hands up. "Moving on! We could take Route 66. That's historic and touristy, isn't it?"
"I think so. We could stop by DC," Zayn offered.
"There's supposedly a living history town or something we never got to go see," Harry chipped in. At some point, he'd dug his camera out of his bag and was filming the discussion, complete with shots of the map. "Somewhere in Virginia. Want to go be British invaders?"
"I'm in," Niall said cheerfully. "I'll be an Irish invader, of course. Wait, does that mean I side with the Yankees?"
Everyone paused to consider it. "I don't think so?" Liam finally said.
"So. We hit San Francisco tomorrow, then follow Route 66--stop at Graceland, go to Disney World, drive up the East Coast--stop at a beach somewhere?" Everyone nodded agreement as Zayn ticked off each point on his fingers. "Then DC? After DC or the living history town, we work our way up to New York, maybe ambush Louis, and then from New York--"
"Go back home."
Niall blinked; Harry turned his camera to film Niall's face. "I was hoping we'd get to visit Zayn's cafe in London, see our families and all, but okay."
Liam made a face. "God, I wish. But I could only wrangle two weeks from when I arrived at LAX. Tour stuff and all."
"So don't go back on time," Harry suggested. "S'what I did?"
"You what?!" Three different voices asked incredulously.
"I may have... gone temporarily AWOL," the brunet said, shrugging sheepishly and setting his video camera on the nightstand where it could see all of them. "But I wanted to see everyone and my band's on a break right now, so I could film, and I got everything crucial done and all I was going to be doing with this week was standing in the background of scenes so I just got on a plane and left? I have next week off officially, though."
"Harry!" Liam was very clearly disappointed in his former bandmate, something Harry very obviously didn't appreciate. "Why?"
Harry shrugged, scooting further away from Liam. "I missed my old friends, even if I sort of hate one-fourth of the people in this room? I just. There was a chance of seeing Louis and... well, I miss him. A lot. I just need to get closure, is all."
"Okay, new topic," Niall said, sensing that any more on this particular conversation would end in Harry crying and to be honest, he wasn't nearly drunk enough to deal with that. Actually, there wasn't enough alcohol in the world to deal with a crying Harry. Niall unfortunately knew this from experience. "Liam, what's new with you?"
Liam shrugged. "Danielle and I got married," he said quietly, fiddling with a ring on his left hand that Niall hadn't noticed before.
The room exploded in noise, Zayn incredulous, Harry confused, and Niall furious.
"And you didn't tell us?!" Niall yelled. "Jesus Christ, Liam!"
"You're married?" Harry blinked. "When did that happen?"
"Liam what the fuck, man?" Zayn roared, nearly falling off the bed and almost taking Harry with him.
Liam sort of flinched away from the noise. "I mean. I wanted you there?"
"So why didn't you invite us?" Niall huffed angrily. "Jesus fucking Christ. You could have sent an email, or a text, or I dunno, picked up the phone and called us?"
"In case you haven't noticed, no one knows yet," Liam pointed out, recovering from his initial shock at the reaction. "It's not really a public thing--people still think we're dating. Trust me, if I was going to invite more than three people to my wedding, you would all be at the top of the list."
Harry leaned forward. "So why didn't you tell us?" He was still filming, for whatever reason.
"It was sort of a spur of the moment thing, actually. And if any of this ends up in your video diary I will personally make sure you are miserable for the rest of your life."
Harry nodded solemnly. "It won't go in. I just want a record, s'all."
Liam glared at Harry until Zayn elbowed him.
"Okay, well... Danielle and I decided we were just going to do it last year. I mean, we'd been together for seven years. We thought it was long enough to get married--and it ended up just being me, Danielle, and two of Danielle's students as witnesses. So really, there's only five people in the world--plus you lot--that know about it. Our parents don't even know."
Niall still looked annoyed, but he looked more confused now. "Wait. Why don't they know?"
Liam sighed. "Okay. Harry, camera off. No recordings of this, anywhere." He waited until Harry switched off the camera and handed it over to him for good measure. "Danielle... Danielle can't have kids, and we're trying to adopt. But we can't adopt unless we're married--some weird international adoption law that wants to ensure stable homes, I guess--so we got married really quietly so we can start the paperwork and such. We're going to have a big wedding and all in a year or so--you're all invited--but we, we just want kids."
"You still should have told us," Zayn said, but his eyes were soft. Once upon a time, he'd wanted kids desperately too. He didn't seem as angry with Liam as he'd been earlier--perhaps knowing one of the reasons behind Liam's distance helped.
"In case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly friends anymore," Liam pointed out. "I hadn't even talked to any of you except Niall since the band split. I was pretty sure that you two--" he gestured to Zayn and Harry "--still hated me until Niall phoned and said we were all doing a road trip. And as for Louis...well, we only talked for about a year, and only about as much as I ever talk with Olly. Not much at all, just a 'hey, how are you?' sort of thing."
"We'd still have liked to know," Harry said softly. "I don't think any of us actually hated you. I was just pissed you picked--" he cut off, looking down. "Well. You know. But that's ancient history now."
"So none of you have kept anything from everyone else?" Liam asked, trying to steer the conversation away from himself. "I know I'm not the only one guilty of keeping secrets."
"I have a girlfriend," Niall said, shrugging. "I'm not nearly as high profile as any of you, no one's really interested in my girlfriends and whatnot, but... yeah, I've got a girlfriend. Her name's Annabelle, she's from Arizona, and I don't think we're going to last past six or seven months. But she's fun to be around and I like her." He grinned. "I haven't quite moved into the serious relationship phase of my life. Free spirit and all that."
"I'm dating again," Zayn volunteered, staring out the window. "It's only been a week or two, and we'll be having a long chat after I get back, plus it's more of a friends-with-benefits thing, but... I mean, if we're going around talking about what's changed in our lives, that's what's changed for me."
"Shit, are you sure? I mean... after Taylor." Harry looked vaguely worried--as they all did. He was fiddling with his camera, which he'd apparently flicked back on.
Zayn exhaled, fingers scrabbling for his packet of cigarettes. "Can we just agree that marrying Taylor Swift was a bad idea and move on?" He reluctantly put his fags away when Liam's pointed glare reminded him that they were in a nonsmoking room. "There's already a whole album out there dedicated to it and I have to hear it just about every day at work; I do not need it from you lot as well." He sighed. "She's nice, she makes me happy. I think we're the type of friends who have to try to become something else before becoming actual friends."
"Who are you dating, then?" Liam asked.
Zayn shook his head. "You wouldn't know her, she's not famous at all."
"A name, though."
"Nicole Carter. Her older sister Rosie works in my bakery."
"Wait, Rosie Carter. The she-Cowell? You're dating the sister of the she-Cowell?" Niall said incredulously, jaw dropping. "Whoa."
"She-Cowell?" Harry asked in confusion.
"If Simon Cowell was a woman, had red hair, ran a bakery and barely topped five-six, he would be Rosie Carter," Niall explained, still gaping at Zayn. "And apparently, our Zayn is dating her baby sister. How, exactly, is dating the sister of the she-Cowell better than Taylor?"
"She's yet to write a song about our sex life," Zayn snipped. "I dunno. I just like her. I mean. Not like I'm-going-to-marry-her-and-be-in-love-forever, you know? Sort of like Niall's girlfriend, except I'm getting over a mistake. Cos. You know. Marrying Taylor was a mistake. Like. The biggest mistake of my life. I was trying not to focus on feelings I had for someone else, and... well, look how that turned out."
"A triple platinum record, framed divorce paperwork and a restraining order?" Harry looked vaguely amused.
Zayn snorted and flicked his lighter open and closed. "I don't actually have a restraining order on her. That is a tabloid rumor."
"Damnit," Niall swore. "No restraining order groupon, then?"
Liam burst out laughing while the others gave him weird looks. Niall shook his head and refused to clarify, letting Liam explain why, exactly, that was funny.
Zayn dating again was a scary thing--he and Taylor Swift had begun dating when he was twenty and she twenty-three and it had gotten rather serious rather fast. They'd gotten married within six months of knowing each other--and divorced six months after that. While Zayn had managed to move on, Taylor apparently hadn't gotten the message that they were actually entirely over (there was a reason most people assumed Zayn had taken out a restraining order on her) and continued to try to get in touch.
Liam, on the other hand... it was surprisingly easy to picture him as married. Maybe it was because he and Danielle complimented each other so well, and always had. The fact that he hadn't invited any of them was a little more hurtful, but then again, no one knew about it until he told them, so that was probably a mark in the "Liam-is-still-really-fucking-good-at-keeping-his-personal-life-out-of-the-tabloids" column. Especially since Danielle's inability to have children and the adoption procedures hadn't even been a whisper. Niall was really impressed with Liam and wondered if Liam had ever considered going into PR.
Harry...Niall wasn't really sure. There were parts of him that seemed older and wiser, but he still seemed like the carefree baby of the band. Niall wasn't really surprised that Harry wasn't over Louis yet; Harry and Louis' romance had always seemed more like serious-forever love than two teenagers getting off. And yet it had absolutely fallen apart, leaving Harry struggling to deal with it.
As for Niall himself, it was strange to think that these boys weren't a) the people he remembered or b) boys anymore.
San Francisco the next morning was an interesting experience. Niall and Harry got lost in Chinatown while Liam dragged Zayn out to see the Golden Gate Bridge. They all met up at Fisherman's Wharf for dinner, and they were all violently reminded of the sheer amount of food Niall could pack away.
"How the hell are you still hungry?" Harry demanded, staring as Niall wolfed down his bowl of soup. "Like. You were eating all the way through Chinatown. How are you still eating?"
"My metabolism never ran down," Niall admitted. He grinned widely. "I don't think it's ever going to. Which is awesome."
Liam rolled his eyes and returned to quizzing Harry about Chinatown.
After dinner, while they were walking back to their hotel, they lost Niall in Ghirardelli square. Zayn was dispatched to fetch him, and when they returned, Niall was carrying a box the size of his torso and refusing to let anyone go near it.
"Nothing's really changed, has it?" Harry asked quietly, laughing as Niall stored the box in the back of the van and scribbled "NIALL'S, DO NOT TOUCH UPON PAIN OF DEATH AND DISEMBOWELMENT" in red sharpie.
"Not really," Liam agreed. "Did you expect us to be entirely different people?"
Harry looked sheepish. "A little?"
"Well, we're not. And I'm really not out to make your life miserable," Liam added. "I promise. I miss my friends, s'all."
Harry blinked and held out his hand. "Truce?"
"Truce. Let's just not bring up Louis if at all possible."
"Done deal." Harry grinned, his first real smile since embarking on the trip. "Hey, want to go mess with Niall's chocolate?"
Liam laughed. "Why the hell not?"--
part vii: silence is easy
silence is easy to say this is killing me...they turned out the streetlights before i could say goodbye guess i was a lost cause you still kept me alive
--
Hello, this is Death. I'm not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
"Harry, I swear your voicemail messages get worse and worse every time I call you. But anyways, it's Holland. Management and the director are all freaking out--maybe you should consider coming back sometime soon? Or at least let us know when you'll be back, because the script writing department is going to murder you. You're not dead, are you? If you are, that's really rude not to let anyone know where you were going. I'll start preparing a funeral for you! Hugs and kisses! Take care!"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"Dani! It's Liam! I guess you're teaching a class right now or out with Becky, but I just wanted to give you a heads up that I might have told the lads about us being married? Don't get mad, I just...I couldn't not tell them, it was sort of...I don't have an excuse. But you're probably going to get bombarded with phone calls and texts from them pretty soon. Just so you know."
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"Danielle! You and Liam got married? What the hell, why didn't you tell us! Congrats, and good luck on the adoption process! Harry, by the way."
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"It's Niall, and you fucking got married without telling me?! Where is the love and the trust, Peazer-Payne? I thought we had something special! We'll have to stop our affair now--No, Liam, stop, I was joking, no, don't you dare tickle me, Liam! Danielle, your husband is cruel!"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"Zayn speaking. So apparently you got married? Next time you get hitched in secret, let me know! I invited you to my wedding, you should have invited me to yours. I'm just joking, but seriously, we're all happy for you. I'm pretty sure Liam might be murdering Niall, though. Harry, don't get involv--"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"For the record, I didn't kill Niall. Harry's currently sitting on him. So. That might change soon. Love you!"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I'm seriously starting to wonder if you ever answer your phone, or if you have it permanently blocked or whatever, but I told the others and thought you should know--Danielle and I got married. We'll be doing a big fancy wedding in about a year or so, but we're legally married and I thought you deserved to know. We miss you, mate. It's not too late to come out and join us."
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!
"Liam, honey. I just got your message--and the rest of the lads, except Louis--and it's totally fine. I wanted you to invite them, remember? Or at least call them? But since you told them, I get to tell my dance group, okay? Prepare to be bombarded with texts and the like, as revenge. Love you lots!"
--
"Danielle Peazer speaking."
"Hi, it's Louis Tomlinson."
"Louis?!"
"Don't sound so surprised."
"Well, you haven't exactly talked to any of us in forever. What do you need, anyways?"
"Liam left me a message, said you got married. I wanted to say congratulations--you always suited each other so well. I'm glad it all worked out for you, especially after your breakup awhile back."
"Thanks. You know they all miss you, right?"
"Yeah, and that's why I didn't go."
"Louis..."
"What?"
"No offense, but why did you call me? Liam hasn't even got his phone on right now, I just left him a message."
"It's easier to go through another party."
"So you're using me."
"Pretty much? I mean. I'm not ignoring them entirely. But. I don't want to see them. So. I just wanted to say congratulations, and if you could tell Liam 'no chance in hell', that would be great."
"No chance in he--Hello? Louis fucking Tomlinson, you did not just hang up on me. Fucking prick."
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"Liam, it's Danielle again. I just got a phone call from Louis, and it was honestly one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had. He said congratulations and then to tell you 'no chance in hell', but I have no idea what that could even mean. Care to explain?"
--
You've reached Danielle Peazer. I'm unable to take your call at the moment, so please leave a message at the beep!
"It's Liam. I'm not supposed to be on my phone right now--the others are asleep--but I just told Louis it wasn't too late to come out and join us. I guess his answer is no. Um. Could you ask Zoe to stop calling me? She's going to use up all of my memory space. Thanks! I'll call you tomorrow evening, okay?"
--
Hello, this is Death. I'm not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
"It's Tyler, callback number is 555-1923. Which you should already know. Seriously. Get your ass in gear and call the fucking director before he has a stroke and dies slowly and painfully in the middle of the set. We like this one, remember? He's nicer than the last one. And set's not the same without you, man. I'm pretty sure Dylan is going to stage a revolt if you don't get back her soon."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"Hey Louis! Charlie here! We're still meeting at your place for coffee before dress rehearsal, right? If not...I'm coming over anyways! If yes, see you then!"
--
part viii: stories taking us back
from coast to coast i'll make the most of every second I've been given with this crowd without a doubt you're all i dream about at night we lie awake with stories taking us back to the nights we felt alive
--
"So I was thinking," Harry began.
"Always a dangerous pastime there," Liam teased from where he was driving. "You sure you want to continue, or do you want to just stop before someone gets hurt?" Harry rolled his eyes and turned the video camera onto Liam rather than the ungainly way Niall and Zayn were sprawled over each other and sleeping.
"We're going to Vegas, right?"
"Unless the plan was changed since I last looked, yes." Liam blinked. "And we might go to the Grand Canyon after that, if we can get Niall over the heights thing."
"We're going out drinking and bar hopping when we're in Vegas, right?"
Liam shrugged. "I still don't really drink, so if you and Zayn and Niall want to go out and do damage to your livers and kidneys and other internal organs, you're welcome to."
"Come on, you've got to come with us," Harry whined. "At least as a babysitter or something. It won't be fun if it's not all of us."
"Fine." Liam finally caved. "Alright, fine. We'll go. But we're doing a bunch of ridiculous tourist stuff first."
And that was how they came to be wandering around the M&M factory tour, rather than immediately going and getting drunk.
"Next, we're going to go do a scavenger hunt," Liam said cheerfully, following the tour guide. Niall was eyeing the various candies with an expression that could only be described as 'this is my new fetish' and the rest of them were valiantly trying to pretend that was an expression they weren't seeing. "Famous landmarks recreated here in Vegas."
"So basically the pyramids, the Eiffel tower and...what else is there?"
"I dunno. Why don't we split up and see who can get the most photos?" Zayn suggested, and promptly grabbed Niall, dragging him out of the M&M factory, despite the brunet's protests.
--
Harry and Liam teaming up was probably a bad idea. They'd gotten six photos each, for a total of twelve, before a girl let out an embarrassingly high pitched squeal and they were suddenly running through the crowded streets of Las Vegas, avoiding a fan mob.
"We should have split with Niall and Zayn," Liam panted, dragging Harry around a corner.
"Yeah, well, we didn't," Harry spat back, and then focused on his breathing. A block later, Liam turned sharply and pulled Harry into a touristy souvenir shop.
"What even are we doing in this place, we're going to get caught by the fan mob out there," Harry hissed.
Liam pulled a shirt off the rack. "We're going to look like the ultimate tourists. And I need to buy a postcard to send to Danielle anyways."
Harry looked at the shirt and groaned. "Why do I feel like we're going to regret this?"
--
"What the fuck are you wearing?" Zayn demanded when Harry and Liam returned to their hotel. "Holy shit."
Niall looked up from where he was scribbling down club and bar locations from his phone and promptly fell off the bed laughing. "What happened to you? We were just going to take pictures of the landmarks! Liam!"
Liam shrugged, his face practically hidden by the gigantic hat he'd grabbed. The party sunglasses covered the parts of his face the hat didn't. He was wearing a massively oversized t-shirt that declared 'someone i love went to vegas and all they got me was this stupid t-shirt' and Harry's too-tight skinny jeans--a look that made him look incredibly stupid. Somehow, he'd managed to turn his hair a fairly bright green.
Harry, conversely, looked like someone had emptied an entire bottle of sunscreen onto his face and then wiped bare streaks under his eyes. He was also wearing an 'i heart vegas' singlet that looked like it was made for either very small children or female strippers, and had a giant tote bag over his shoulder. The pattern of the tote bag matched the shorts he'd very obviously bought here in Vegas, if the rhinestoning on the ass declaring him "Vegas' Sweetheart" was anything to go by. It also looked like he'd dumped glitter in his hair at some point, sprinkling glitter onto his sunscreen-facial as well.
"I figured if we looked crazy enough the fans wouldn't believe it was us," Liam said. "We went out, said we were Harry Styles and Liam Payne. They thought we were insane and walked away."
"It did work," Harry admitted, going into the bathroom and reappearing with a wad of toilet paper to scrub the sunscreen off his face with. "But I also got wolf-whistled at and asked what I was doing with dork over there."
Zayn stared. "You have sunscreen all over your face."
"And Liam's got green hair. Apparently I make a hot girl?" Harry shrugged. "I dunno. I don't really have the arse to fill out these shorts." As if to prove his point, he turned and wiggled his butt in Zayn's direction. Niall, who had managed to get his laughter under control, erupted into a fresh burst of hyena-like cackles."Is my arse flat? My arse is flat, isn't it."
Zayn facepalmed. "I'm not commenting on your arse. Not now, not ever."
"I think they were smashed, if that helps," Liam contributed. Niall laughed even harder.
"It's three in the afternoon!"
"It's Las Vegas."
"Fair point. So can we go get smashed now?"
"Not until after dinner," Niall shouted, sitting up very suddenly. "We're going to the buffet that makes chocolate everything."
Harry looked vaguely interested; Zayn groaned; Liam just beamed, adjusted his hat, then leaned over to wipe sunscreen off of Harry's face and fling it onto Niall.
--
--
In retrospect, it probably was a bad idea to go clubbing in Vegas, and an even worse idea to try to match Niall because even Liam was drunk at this point, and he'd only drink a third of what the rest of them had.
Harry blamed the fact that Niall was an unfairly coherent drunk and that Zayn was sobering up, because that meant it was really only Harry and Liam making fools of themselves. Well. Only Harry and Liam making fools of themselves after Zayn switched to water rather than shots.
"How have we not been papped?" Zayn muttered in disbelief, pulling Harry off a table. "I mean, you and Liam, you're the only ones still famous in America. Christ. But still."
"How--how're you not drunk?" Harry mumbled into Zayn's collarbone, deciding he wanted a cuddle instead of dancing, and Zayn didn't really mind when Harry stuck to him like a limpet anyways. He was pretty sure he remembered Zayn making some phone calls and slurring earlier, but he wasn't drunk now so how was he not?
Harry's head hurt when he tried to think, so he stopped.
"Trust me, I'm drunk," Zayn said. "I'm not going to remember any of this in the morning. I just switched to water an hour ago so I'm sobering up. Niall, here, you take Tweedledrunk, and I'll go look for Tweedledrunker."
"D'ya mean Liam?" Harry slurred. "Cos he shouldn't be drinking. On'ly got one--one--what's the thingy that he's only got one of?"
"His kidney?" Niall asked in amusement, accepting Zayn's transference of Harry to his lap. He calmly petted Harry's sweaty curls as the younger man clung to him and mumbled about how Liam shouldn't be drinking. "It healed, remember? He can drink fine, like the rest of us."
Harry pouted. "Then he's not nearly drunk enough. Zayn!" he swayed from his spot on Niall's lap, and only Niall's arms around his waist stopped him from falling over. "Zayn! You should go fix that!"
Zayn sighed and patted Harry's head reassuringly. "I think Liam's just drunk enough. You're a little too drunk."
"Am not!"
"Harry, you really are," Niall said, laughing as Harry's pout deepened and he petulantly returned to snuggling into Niall's shoulder. Niall's fast metabolism and high alcohol tolerance meant he was a bit closer to the hung-over end of the spectrum than everyone else, and that he wasn't nearly as drunk as the rest of them. "Zayn, just go find Liam."
Zayn saluted and wandered off into the depths of the bar to find his former bandmate.
He found Liam sitting with a group of girls, showing them pictures of Danielle on his phone. He seemed to be halfway through the story of how he and Danielle had met, which was actually a lot less stalkery than it seemed at first. The girls were cooing over Liam and his photos--one girl was even openly weeping and mumbling something about being 'forever alone'.
Zayn just stared. "Only you, Liam."
Then he fished his phone out of his back pocket and began filming it.
--
part ix: be any more obvious
i would've married you in vegas had you given me the chance to say i do couldn't make it any more obvious could you be any more obvious
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"It's Taylor, hi! Zayn just called me, said he was with you, if he's in the US could you please tell him to meet me for coffee at some point? I mean, you don't have to but I want to see him and he called me first and we talked for awhile and I sort of got the feeling he wanted to talk? If you could just pass that message along that would be great! Um, thanks! And if you could change your voicemail that would also be great! Hugs and kisses!"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"Louis...Louis I miss you. Why didn't you come? Are you mad at me?"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"There are so many people here, you'd have fun, you like people, but you don't like us anymore. I don't know why you don't like us anymore because Zayn is lots and lots of fun and Niall knows the really good drinks and Liam is not so much fun but he's our friend and he's drinking and you should he here to tease him, because he never did that before."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I LOST NIALL DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"... fuck."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I'll leave if you want to see them. They all miss you. Maybe more than I do. Fuck, I'm drunk. I said I wasn't going to call you but I can't remember why. It was probably a stupid reason. Do you know what the reason was? Because I don't. Are you still mad about the thing? Cos I'm not. I don't think I ever was."
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"I'm sorry, whatever I did, I'm sorry."
--
Hi! Harry's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
"Harry! I know you're not answering your phone right now--Gemma, by the way, but you should know that by the voice--but Alan took his first steps! Come and visit soon, he's getting so big and wants to see his uncle! Mum wants you to call by the way, she said something about you being lost in America? Don't forget to come home! Hugs and kisses! Take care of yourself! And change your voicemail message!"
--
You've reached Louis Tomlinson's phone. He's unavailable to take your message at the moment. If you'd like to leave a callback number, press 1. If you'd like to leave a message, press 2.
"Sorry about Harry, Louis. It's Niall, and I've confiscated his phone until he's sober again. Won't happen again!"
--
You've reached Liam Payne's mobile phone. I'm sorry I missed your call, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is Danielle, I love you. If this is the reporter from GossipRave calling again, don't even bother leaving a message. If this is Zayn's ex-wife, we've been over this. If this is anyone else, leave a message at the beep.
"Hey Liam! Danielle here. I hope you're having fun on your road trip. The paps still haven't figured out you're gone--I told them you've been holed up writing your ass off and they seem to believe me. I miss you tons; the house is so empty without you. Flopsy and Cocoa say hello! They've been moping without you to take them for walks, and the girls at the studio all send their love! Love you lots, miss you loads, I'll try calling again Sunday evening, come home soon!"
--
part x: we were right to carry on
maybe we were right to carry on to carry on even when they said we'd be undone take it as a sign we can still go on, we still belong even when the worst is yet to come
--
"So, Zayn," Liam said, sitting next to Zayn on the van's bumper. He rolled his eyes at Harry and Niall, ten meters away, as Niall teased Harry about his hangover and taunted him with coffee and a box of doughnuts.
"So, Liam," Zayn mimicked.
"Want to tell me why I had a drunken voicemail from you last night declaring your love for Harry?"
Zayn grimaced. "Oh, God."
"Yeah, 'oh, God' is right. You married Taylor Swift to get over Harry?" Zayn's horrified expression said it all. Liam sighed and wrapped an arm around Zayn's shoulders. "Zayn, mate. That's not healthy. What about that girl you're dating, Nadine or whoever?"
"Nicolle." Zayn sighed, leaning onto Liam's shoulder. "Did my message cut off or something? Because I got over it a long time ago. But I'm over it now, thank god. That was a really fucking terrible year. I felt stupid and guilty and I'm over it now."
Across the parking lot, Harry gave a shriek when he realized Niall had his camera and was filming the whole thing. Liam rolled his eyes as Harry tried to figure out how to retrieve the camera but not spill Niall's tray of coffee. "You're over it now?"
"Yeah. Have been for a while. I mean... Harry was always Louis', yeah? And I'm not going to be anyone's rebound. It only really lasted a year or so, and I felt so embarrassed about it. And yeah, Taylor was a mistake, but... I mean. I guess the reason I called you and told you is was because the four of us being together brought back old memories and shit, and I was tired of secrets. I'm not going to make excuses for drunk me. But... seriously, you have to admit, last night wasn't a lot different from the last few years of touring."
Liam laughed--either at what Zayn was saying or Harry failing to obtain the camera but succeeding at snagging the largest cup of coffee, Zayn wasn't sure. "Yeah, a bit," he said. "A lot less Harry and Louis sucking each other's faces off, more me drinking, but, yeah, I get where you're coming from." Liam looked at Zayn steadily. "You sure you're over it?"
"Dead sure." Zayn grimaced. "Thinking about it skeeves me out now. It was just something I had to go through , I guess. I have no idea what I was thinking then, but I know I got over it about the time Taylor and I split."
"Speaking of Taylor..."
"Oh, fuck no," Zayn whined. "Tell me I didn't..."
"Sorry, mate. Apparently right after you called me and right before you switched to water, you drunk dialed Taylor. And had a long chat, apparently, if the message I got is anything to go by."
Zayn winced and looked warily at his phone, which he hadn't turned on since the night before.
"Are you over Taylor?" Liam asked gently.
Zayn shrugged. "I think so? Less than I'm over Harry, at any rate. I genuinely liked Taylor, but we stopped working because I was focused on the lads and how we were all falling apart, you know? So... I dunno, maybe. But I like Nicolle, and I used to like Taylor, so maybe if we gave it a shot it'd work? But it didn't last time and I don't know if I'd be able to handle that fallout."
"And you told her this?"
"You'd know better than me, Li. I don't even remember calling her, much less what I might have said. Is she mad?"
Liam sighed. "Let me put it this way: if there aren't at least three songs on her next album about you, I will shave Harry's head and eat his curls for breakfast."
"You'll do what to my hair?" Harry asked in horror, triumphantly clutching a coffee cup the size of his head and a doughnut roughly the same size. He looked vaguely more human with his infusion of caffeine and sugar. "In other news, look at the size of my doughnut! Only in America!"
"Let me guess, you've already instagramed it," Zayn said dryly. Harry only rolled his eyes.
"Don't be ridiculous. Niall beat me to it." He took a bite of doughnut and washed it back with coffee, but he still winced when a car went by with music pounding out of the speakers at a ridiculously high volume. "Back to my hair. Liam, you're going to do what to my hair?"
"Zayn drunk dialed his ex last night," Liam said, as if that made sense to anyone who hadn't been part of their previous conversation.
Niall, who'd followed Harry over, chortled and passed out coffee and doughnuts to Liam and Zayn. "Three-song minimum, right? That'll make, what, four albums about you, Zayn?"
Zayn rolled his eyes and bit into his doughnut, reasoning that if his mouth was full of sugar and pastry, he couldn't say anything truly insulting to Niall.
"I mean, there was the one where you were sickeningly in love--right after you got married, wasn't that the one that went double platinum?--and then the one after you split that went triple platinum, and then the fuck-you-I'm-doing-fine-without-you-but-if-you-want-to-come-back-my-door-is-still-open album that only went platinum, and now the ex-drunk-dialed-me-from-Vegas album that'll probably go at least double platinum." Niall probably would have ticked off each of the albums on his fingers if he wasn't too busy filming them all with Harry's camera.
Zayn finally swallowed his bite. "Just for that, I'm finding a metal station and setting it on full volume, then sticking you next to Harry."
"Don't you fucking dare--" Harry yelped at the same time as Liam glared and said "I will leave you by the side of the road if you do that so help me God I will."
Niall just laughed. "I'm driving," he informed them cheerfully. "Alright, everyone, in the van, people with hangovers can pass out in the back--"
"People with iron livers can fuck off," Harry countered, but climbed into the backseat and settled his coffee in a cup holder before drawing the curtains shut. A wide yawn crossed his face, causing his eyes to scrunch up behind his sunglasses. "Let's cross this way too fucking large to be reasonable country, people."
"Can we do an all-nighter?" Liam suggested. "Sleep in the car, take shifts driving? That way we'll get there faster and we don't have to worry about finding motels and stuff."
"I'm game," Zayn said, crawling into the seat in behind Harry and sprawling out. "But I'm not driving for at least three hours." Everyone looked at Harry, but he was already asleep, despite having downed enough coffee to keep even Zayn awake for at least five hours.
"You and me in the front seat then," Niall said, turning to Liam. "Unless you want to sleep too?"
"No, I'm good," Liam replied and slid the van's side door shut. Niall climbed into the front seat and waited for Liam to get settled before he turned the blinkers on and made to pull out of the parking lot when--
"Wait, can we go to the bathroom first?"
"Really, Zayn? Really?"
--
part xi: phone tag game
and this phone tag game is endless the novelty is wearing i'm hoping time will pass without any assistance or convincing
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, this really isn't funny anymore. Call us. Now."
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, why are we fielding rumors that you're in Vegas?"
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, answer your phone."
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, there's going to be legal problems when you get back, both with the show and your band."
--
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
"Harry, it's Clarisse. Are you alright? We're all getting pretty worried. Just...leave a message or something, let us know if you're okay or not. There are reporters calling for comment and it's getting a bit weird. We understand your need to get away and find yourself, or whatever, but make sure you're back on time for the tour. If you're not, it's not just you you're fucking up."