so, i know i haven't posted in a year. wow. a year. but it occurred to me last night that i need to stop making my life all about my work. i need to reconnect with old friends
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i'm sitting with my feet under the covers in my friend's bed, editing papers for international grad students while he plays video games--i.e. tries to shoot a helicopter out of the sky with a rocket launcher.
the editing gig stops paying me next month and i have no idea what i'm doing next (turning in a job application at barnes & noble?) because i'm not done with the dissertation and so haven't yet started looking for a "real" job...
mostly because i'm not sure i have the strength of character to walk willingly into the scene you just described. i want to be tough enough to want to, on one level, but on others... i'd really rather be broke and working retail and still have people.
because sure, it sounds appealing, being (in theory; i'm not sure i believe anymore that it's possible) actually valued for my work for the first time since i left tech, having students again, doing what i'm good at, mattering, and being somewhere--anywhere--warmer than here
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lol! actually, my school here (mary wash) is looking for a one-year to cover my spot. as for colorado, i don't know. but, i'll definitely keep my ears peeled, if you're serious.
and yeah, i sympathize with your fear. and frankly, i think it's smart that you are aware of it... of what you'd be facing. i remember a mentor at USC saying that the first year would be the loneliest of our lives. i just don't think i got it, when he said it. guess you have to live it.
i get a lot of satisfaction from teaching. so that's a lot of what gets me through it. though, obviously, that's not enough (or, i'd be staying).
too, i love the work (scholarship), and i miss it. masochistic of me, i know, but there it is.
so, i guess my question to you would be, would the teaching and work be worth the isolation?
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i'm sitting with my feet under the covers in my friend's bed, editing papers for international grad students while he plays video games--i.e. tries to shoot a helicopter out of the sky with a rocket launcher.
the editing gig stops paying me next month and i have no idea what i'm doing next (turning in a job application at barnes & noble?) because i'm not done with the dissertation and so haven't yet started looking for a "real" job...
mostly because i'm not sure i have the strength of character to walk willingly into the scene you just described. i want to be tough enough to want to, on one level, but on others... i'd really rather be broke and working retail and still have people.
because sure, it sounds appealing, being (in theory; i'm not sure i believe anymore that it's possible) actually valued for my work for the first time since i left tech, having students again, doing what i'm good at, mattering, and being somewhere--anywhere--warmer than here ( ... )
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and yeah, i sympathize with your fear. and frankly, i think it's smart that you are aware of it... of what you'd be facing. i remember a mentor at USC saying that the first year would be the loneliest of our lives. i just don't think i got it, when he said it. guess you have to live it.
i get a lot of satisfaction from teaching. so that's a lot of what gets me through it. though, obviously, that's not enough (or, i'd be staying).
too, i love the work (scholarship), and i miss it. masochistic of me, i know, but there it is.
so, i guess my question to you would be, would the teaching and work be worth the isolation?
xxoo
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