FIC (of a sort): Waiver for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (text-only version)
For more details, see the entry below this one.
In order for a child to be enrolled at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, his or her parent(s) or legal guardian(s) must read and sign the following waiver. Please be certain to read it carefully and, if necessary, consult with your legal advisors before signing. Please note that your signature(s) will be magically binding and any breach of said contract will subject you to the Oathbreaker's Curse, the symptoms of which include extended gnawing on one's extremities and which can only be broken by a massive contribution to the Hogwarts School Annual Fund.
WAIVER FOR HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, hereafter referred to as "Hogwarts," is committed to providing students between the ages of 11 and 18 with a practical and theoretical magical education under the safest conditions possible. I/we realize, however, that in spite of the best efforts of Hogwarts faculty and staff, accidents and injuries cannot always be avoided. I/we understand that the student, Harry Potter, may suffer from any or all of the following while at Hogwarts:
Broken bones, loss of bones, or gain of bones. Partial or total loss of memory. Loss or gain of appendages through means either magical or mundane, whether self-inflicted or inflicted by Hogwarts faculty, staff, students, unknown magical inhabitants, masonry, woodwork or furniture. If lost, appendages shall be interpreted to include but not be limited to fingers, toes, limbs, genitalia, pectorals, facial features, and head. If gained, appendages shall be interpreted to include all of the aforementioned, in addition to any sort of protrusion from the body (tentacles, horns, parasites, etc.). It should be noted that in many cases Hogwarts medical staff is able to restore the student to his or her original state, and will do so whenever possible.†
Hogwarts does not discriminate against students, faculty, staff or any other resident on the basis of race, sex, nationality, sexual orientation, age, prior death, or any sort of disability, magical or mundane, nor does it discriminate on the basis of any magical condition, including but not limited to lycanthropy, vampirism and zombieism. Appropriate safety measures are arranged with students whose magical conditions could cause harm to themselves and to others, but that does not mean that accidents cannot happen, or that Hogwarts is responsible for them if they do.
Hogwarts is not responsible for any damage sustained by an attack on students by any flora or fauna on or surrounding the Hogwarts grounds. Students should take care not to provoke flora and fauna. Additionally, students are informed at the beginning of the year that the Forbidden Forest is named that for a reason, and that they expected to stay out of it. If students are injured as a result of venturing into the Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts is even less legally responsible than it would have been otherwise.‡
Please note that the overwhelming majority of injuries treated by Hogwarts medical staff each year are entirely preventable. Children should be warned against using magic on their bodies or on the bodies of other students for any reason, no matter how harmless it may seem, without the expressed permission of a professor and supervision by the same.
While Hogwarts attempts to be thorough in explaining the risks students face, not all dangers can be foreseen.º It is entirely up to the discretion of Hogwarts and its legal representation to determine whether Hogwarts is at fault for any sort of injury or harm that may befall its students.
Having carefully read the above and, if necessary, consulted with my/our legal advisors, I/we hereby relinquish my/our right to seek legal reparations in any way for harm that may befall the aforementioned student, and voluntarily accept the Oathbreaker's Curse that will be placed upon me/us if I/we violate this agreement.
SIGNED,
Vernon Dursley
Any comments/final requests the parent(s)/guardian(s) would like to make, with or without having consulted with their legal representation, may made below:
keep the remains
† Hogwarts medical staff will NOT attempt to return the student to his or her original state if doing so would threaten the lives either of the student or of the medical staff. Please note that there has been the occasional extreme case in which a student gained an appendage that threatened the lives of others at Hogwarts (for instance, when in 1472 Ruprecht Jameson accidentally transfigured his left arm into a manticore). Hogwarts faculty and staff have not been forced to sacrifice a student since Mr. Jameson, but if immediate action is required to save other Hogwarts students, please note Hogwarts faculty and staff will do what is necessary in a manner that is as quick and painless for the student as possible.
‡ Which is not at all.
º Those posed by the rise of a Dark lord, for instance.
In order for a child to be enrolled at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, his or her parent(s) or legal guardian(s) must read and sign the following waiver. Please be certain to read it carefully and, if necessary, consult with your legal advisors before signing. Please note that your signature(s) will be magically binding and any breach of said contract will subject you to the Oathbreaker's Curse, the symptoms of which include extended gnawing on one's extremities and which can only be broken by a massive contribution to the Hogwarts School Annual Fund.
WAIVER FOR HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, hereafter referred to as "Hogwarts," is committed to providing students between the ages of 11 and 18 with a practical and theoretical magical education under the safest conditions possible. I/we realize, however, that in spite of the best efforts of Hogwarts faculty and staff, accidents and injuries cannot always be avoided. I/we understand that the student, Harry Potter, may suffer from any or all of the following while at Hogwarts:
Broken bones, loss of bones, or gain of bones. Partial or total loss of memory. Loss or gain of appendages through means either magical or mundane, whether self-inflicted or inflicted by Hogwarts faculty, staff, students, unknown magical inhabitants, masonry, woodwork or furniture. If lost, appendages shall be interpreted to include but not be limited to fingers, toes, limbs, genitalia, pectorals, facial features, and head. If gained, appendages shall be interpreted to include all of the aforementioned, in addition to any sort of protrusion from the body (tentacles, horns, parasites, etc.). It should be noted that in many cases Hogwarts medical staff is able to restore the student to his or her original state, and will do so whenever possible.†
Hogwarts does not discriminate against students, faculty, staff or any other resident on the basis of race, sex, nationality, sexual orientation, age, prior death, or any sort of disability, magical or mundane, nor does it discriminate on the basis of any magical condition, including but not limited to lycanthropy, vampirism and zombieism. Appropriate safety measures are arranged with students whose magical conditions could cause harm to themselves and to others, but that does not mean that accidents cannot happen, or that Hogwarts is responsible for them if they do.
Hogwarts is not responsible for any damage sustained by an attack on students by any flora or fauna on or surrounding the Hogwarts grounds. Students should take care not to provoke flora and fauna. Additionally, students are informed at the beginning of the year that the Forbidden Forest is named that for a reason, and that they expected to stay out of it. If students are injured as a result of venturing into the Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts is even less legally responsible than it would have been otherwise.‡
Please note that the overwhelming majority of injuries treated by Hogwarts medical staff each year are entirely preventable. Children should be warned against using magic on their bodies or on the bodies of other students for any reason, no matter how harmless it may seem, without the expressed permission of a professor and supervision by the same.
While Hogwarts attempts to be thorough in explaining the risks students face, not all dangers can be foreseen.º It is entirely up to the discretion of Hogwarts and its legal representation to determine whether Hogwarts is at fault for any sort of injury or harm that may befall its students.
Having carefully read the above and, if necessary, consulted with my/our legal advisors, I/we hereby relinquish my/our right to seek legal reparations in any way for harm that may befall the aforementioned student, and voluntarily accept the Oathbreaker's Curse that will be placed upon me/us if I/we violate this agreement.
SIGNED,
Vernon Dursley
Any comments/final requests the parent(s)/guardian(s) would like to make, with or without having consulted with their legal representation, may made below:
keep the remains
† Hogwarts medical staff will NOT attempt to return the student to his or her original state if doing so would threaten the lives either of the student or of the medical staff. Please note that there has been the occasional extreme case in which a student gained an appendage that threatened the lives of others at Hogwarts (for instance, when in 1472 Ruprecht Jameson accidentally transfigured his left arm into a manticore). Hogwarts faculty and staff have not been forced to sacrifice a student since Mr. Jameson, but if immediate action is required to save other Hogwarts students, please note Hogwarts faculty and staff will do what is necessary in a manner that is as quick and painless for the student as possible.
‡ Which is not at all.
º Those posed by the rise of a Dark lord, for instance.