Criminal Minds - Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Aaron ‘Hotch’ Hotchner x Dr. Spencer Reid (pre-slash)
Theme set: Alpha
Title: One Life And Forever
Rating: PG
Warning[s]: Some disturbing imagery I guess. Spoilers for CM seasons 1-2.
Notes: Spencer Reid is an immortal working at the BAU. Some extra information is included at the end of some sentences.
1 comfort
Surprisingly, when they were first introduced at the BAU, Spencer didn’t feel nervous at all, but comfortable, as if he’d known Aaron Hotchner all his life.
2 kiss
“Come on, you need to at least ask if you can kiss him,” Ethan said, nudging Spencer who just shook his head stubbornly.
3 soft
Lila Archer’s lips were just as soft as they’d looked but all Spencer could think of was what Hotch’s lips would feel like.
4 pain
Some days the desire to be with Hotch, and at the same time knowing that such an attempt would be futile, was bone-deep painful.
5 potatoes
He would have to stop himself sometimes from wondering things like “would Hotch like his potatoes baked or would he rather have fries-“ while he was shopping for food.
6 rain
The search was ending as he watched Hotch walk back to the evidence tents, and the first rain of the day was falling.
7 chocolate
While they were checking yet another store, the conversation turned to chocolates, and Spencer couldn’t help sounding surprised (yet slightly amused) as he exclaimed, “you don’t like dark chocolate?”
8 happiness
It didn’t take long before he realized he was in love, because the strongest happiness he felt these days could happen even when he caught just a glimpse of Hotch during the day.
9 telephone
“I’m sorry, Hotch, must’ve turn my cell off accidentally last night,” he mumbled, still half-asleep but already sitting up.
10 ears
Spencer wasn’t aware of it, but most of the time he rubbed one of his earlobes while answering something Hotch asked.
11 name
He knew that his father (a rather nervous man with firm intentions of keeping up the family’s reputation) would have worried about the effect Spencer’s interest in Hotch would have on their family if he’d been here and known - if he was still alive.
**[he’s thinking about his real father who died in 1933]
12 sensual
The hunger to feel Aaron Hotchner’s touch grew so great sometimes that Spencer was glad of any situation that gave a chance for even the briefest contact.
13 death
Whenever there was a whole row of cases where at least one death would occur before they caught the unsub(s), the briefest quiet moment near Hotch would give Spencer hope and motivation to keep going.
14 sex
“Now what you really need to do to unwind your oh-so-greatly whirling mind, Spencer, is to find someone and take them home,” Elle said, banging another shot on the table and winking at the hugely blushing Spencer who knew *exactly* who he’d choose and was half afraid that Elle already knew what he was thinking.
15 touch
“No Spencer, you need to keep your arms like this,” Hotch interrupted, making Spencer slightly nervous as stood so close behind him.
16 weakness
Even though Hotch extended his hand to support him, Spencer’s legs felt weak like newborn colt’s as he stood after the gunshots had ceased.
17 tears
At the beginning of May he woke up one morning unable to remember what his mother’s eyes had looked like and there were no photographs that could help him remember; he cried and wondered if Hotch ever had moments like these when thinking about his own mother.
**[thinking about his real mother]
18 speed
Spencer ran, panting and stumbling after Hotch on the forest road, the commotion ahead urging them on, and grumbled in frustration, “I guess I should take up running every day too, then.”
19 wind
Sometimes he wishes he could take Hotch to see some places he has seen, somewhere distant like Machu Picchu; he loved that place when he’d been there, though these days it must feel different now that tourists have found it.
**[Spencer visited it sometime before 1946]
20 freedom
One of the reasons why this job at BAU would be the only government job he’d ever take was that he enjoyed his freedom way too much, but time seemed to pass even quicker these days and after meeting Hotch he knew his time at BAU would always feel too short.
21 life
Sometimes the weight of experience gathered from living so many decades hangs heavy on his shoulders, but the present is always his favorite because of its lightness, and now it also has the extra bonus of having Aaron Hotchner in it.
22 jealousy
Spencer listened to the easy banter between Morgan and Garcia over some detail needed for the team’s newest case and felt slightly jealous as he wished he could have even this level of closeness working with Hotch.
23 hands
Forced to dig his own grave by Tobias Hankel, Spencer desperately hoped the team would find him before he would get buried again - “this is at least the third time I have to do this, and I really don’t want to dig myself out again” he thought, remembering the first time in Peru where he had dug for nearly an hour before he saw the night sky.
**[another South America memory]
24 taste
“Here, try this - I don’t think you have tried grilled pork sushi before,” Hotch said as they were having sushi for lunch (Spencer gave him the remaining egg sushi piece, since that was his least favorite kind although there wasn’t any type of sushi he wouldn’t eat).
25 devotion
No matter what type of work Spencer did - manual labor the exception - he was always motivated to arrive to work early (knowing that Hotch would be there early too, sometimes before even, helped).
26 forever
During some quiet moments in his life, like now, sitting on a bench by a pond, he sometimes thinks of all the lovers he’s had in his life (Luis with his white teeth, smiling, and the one who he has mourned the longest, the brief few days with Albert in London, the one-night stand with “Cornell”, Joe, Chad - the only old one still alive, Rick with issues bigger than his present mother has, and Chris the latest that has ended)… and always ends up wanting to add Hotch to the list, even if it’s impossible and would be yet another short life passing through his long one.
**[the ones mentioned he has met from 1936 to 1990; the last two before Hotch died of AIDS]
27 blood
When the rest of team finally makes it down the bank to Spencer, only the blood in his hair remains from the obviously fatal head injury he got after being thrown; he’s relieved about that as Hotch’s hands are already shaky just checking for any serious wound.
28 sickness
As the annual autumn flu makes the rounds at the BAU, everyone, including Hotch, gets it, but not Spencer and he really can’t answer truthfully why.
29 melody
It felt sometimes that whenever Hotch turned the radio on, the song playing was about some form of love and it made Spencer feel uneasy - it felt like the song could easily reveal his secret.
30 star
“No, I don’t think one should reveal what one wishes,” he told Hotch after they’d watched a falling star move across the sky (he really didn’t want to reveal that he’d wished for true love).
31 home
New Orleans… he considered it almost a second childhood home because it was his birthplace, so he wished sometimes he could share his memories of it with Hotch (the visits his family had regularly made from Baltimore, where his favorite drugstore had been, and so on).
**[S says he was born in Vegas but N.O. is the real one; Baltimore is where he grew up]
32 confusion
He barely managed to not quickly look when he heard an old man call out one of his older names (“Al”) while they were in Boston - of course it turned out that the man had only been calling for some other man to come over - and it made him uncomfortable since Hotch had been looking at him already, and he rarely got caught reacting to his old names these days.
33 fear
Most of the time he was certain that none of the team’s members knew about his ‘crush’ on Hotch, but now and then Gideon would give him a look that made Spencer get a feeling that was a mixture of fear and nervousness.
34 lightning/thunder
Spencer didn’t fear thunderstorms, but some nights when the lightning threw shadows from the trees outside onto his bedroom wall, he wished Hotch was there with him.
35 bonds
Spencer had grown used to leaving whenever the life he was currently living turned a bit too harsh for him, but Hotch’s presence in his current life tied him to it solidly.
36 market
This hadn’t happened more than five times in the whole time Hotch and Haley were together, but sometimes he would, by chance, meet them at a market that was coincidentally just the right distance from both his and their place (and it was only embarrassing once because he didn’t look where he was going).
37 technology
Spencer felt a bit surprised that Hotch bought him an iPod as a birthday present - he didn’t expect getting anything so new from him - but as he had always liked the newest things one could get (remembering very clearly how exciting it had been to get a calculator back when he had still been living in Canada in the 1970s).
38 gift
He let Hotch look at Gideon’s farewell gift (a red bird whistle made of clay), thinking that such a private gift deserved to be shown to others now.
39 smile
“It’s so much different to read about history when one has lived through so many events mentioned in it,” he thought when he saw Hotch reading a book about history of Latin America in the 20th Century.
40 innocence
Spencer felt his face flush when he caught the briefest flash of Hotch’s stomach as he changed shirts, and quickly looked elsewhere so no one would notice.
41 completion
Looking at the chess board in front of him, Spencer decided that while he didn’t know much about Hotch’s skills, he’d still play a bit less competitively just to enjoy this game (and because he didn’t want it to end, because he felt unsure Hotch would play with him again).
42 clouds
They were almost done looking at the open-air crime scene, but not nearly enough in Spencer’s opinion, and he found himself whispering “hope those clouds won’t bring rain soon, Hotch” - not really caring if anyone else heard.
43 sky
…then he looked at Hotch, and just managed to catch him looking back in a serious but slightly unreadable manner.
44 heaven
That ‘floating on a cloud in heaven’ level of happiness Dilaudid gave him made him forget even Hotch for a moment…
45 hell
…but in the hellish first days of rehab Spencer could only think of Hotch and miss his presence all the time.
46 sun
Spencer knew he had done well in the rehab, but he still couldn’t look at Hotch much on the drive home, preferring to look at the sun flashing through the trees as they drove by.
47 moon
He hated searching for things and/or people at night, especially as most of the time it was really cold - but he loved looking now and then at the full moon in the sky and at Hotch’s torch ahead of him, flashing in the night.
48 waves
Drawing wavy lines on the sand he felt a desire to write Hotch’s name near the water’s edge and draw a heart around it but he wasn’t sure if he could dare to believe there would be something more than just friendship and work-related connection between the two of them in the near future (the stick almost started doing it this time).
49 hair
As much as Spencer liked Emily and sometimes wondered about having hair the colour she had, he felt stupidly jealous whenever he felt Hotch looked at her a bit longer (later on he found out those looks never had anything to do with how Emily looked).
50 supernova
The best repetitive dream he had in those early times involved him and Hotch dancing in a field by the bay while fireworks lit the sky behind them like supernovas.
Pairing: Aaron ‘Hotch’ Hotchner x Dr. Spencer Reid (pre-slash)
Theme set: Alpha
Title: One Life And Forever
Rating: PG
Warning[s]: Some disturbing imagery I guess. Spoilers for CM seasons 1-2.
Notes: Spencer Reid is an immortal working at the BAU. Some extra information is included at the end of some sentences.
1 comfort
Surprisingly, when they were first introduced at the BAU, Spencer didn’t feel nervous at all, but comfortable, as if he’d known Aaron Hotchner all his life.
2 kiss
“Come on, you need to at least ask if you can kiss him,” Ethan said, nudging Spencer who just shook his head stubbornly.
3 soft
Lila Archer’s lips were just as soft as they’d looked but all Spencer could think of was what Hotch’s lips would feel like.
4 pain
Some days the desire to be with Hotch, and at the same time knowing that such an attempt would be futile, was bone-deep painful.
5 potatoes
He would have to stop himself sometimes from wondering things like “would Hotch like his potatoes baked or would he rather have fries-“ while he was shopping for food.
6 rain
The search was ending as he watched Hotch walk back to the evidence tents, and the first rain of the day was falling.
7 chocolate
While they were checking yet another store, the conversation turned to chocolates, and Spencer couldn’t help sounding surprised (yet slightly amused) as he exclaimed, “you don’t like dark chocolate?”
8 happiness
It didn’t take long before he realized he was in love, because the strongest happiness he felt these days could happen even when he caught just a glimpse of Hotch during the day.
9 telephone
“I’m sorry, Hotch, must’ve turn my cell off accidentally last night,” he mumbled, still half-asleep but already sitting up.
10 ears
Spencer wasn’t aware of it, but most of the time he rubbed one of his earlobes while answering something Hotch asked.
11 name
He knew that his father (a rather nervous man with firm intentions of keeping up the family’s reputation) would have worried about the effect Spencer’s interest in Hotch would have on their family if he’d been here and known - if he was still alive.
**[he’s thinking about his real father who died in 1933]
12 sensual
The hunger to feel Aaron Hotchner’s touch grew so great sometimes that Spencer was glad of any situation that gave a chance for even the briefest contact.
13 death
Whenever there was a whole row of cases where at least one death would occur before they caught the unsub(s), the briefest quiet moment near Hotch would give Spencer hope and motivation to keep going.
14 sex
“Now what you really need to do to unwind your oh-so-greatly whirling mind, Spencer, is to find someone and take them home,” Elle said, banging another shot on the table and winking at the hugely blushing Spencer who knew *exactly* who he’d choose and was half afraid that Elle already knew what he was thinking.
15 touch
“No Spencer, you need to keep your arms like this,” Hotch interrupted, making Spencer slightly nervous as stood so close behind him.
16 weakness
Even though Hotch extended his hand to support him, Spencer’s legs felt weak like newborn colt’s as he stood after the gunshots had ceased.
17 tears
At the beginning of May he woke up one morning unable to remember what his mother’s eyes had looked like and there were no photographs that could help him remember; he cried and wondered if Hotch ever had moments like these when thinking about his own mother.
**[thinking about his real mother]
18 speed
Spencer ran, panting and stumbling after Hotch on the forest road, the commotion ahead urging them on, and grumbled in frustration, “I guess I should take up running every day too, then.”
19 wind
Sometimes he wishes he could take Hotch to see some places he has seen, somewhere distant like Machu Picchu; he loved that place when he’d been there, though these days it must feel different now that tourists have found it.
**[Spencer visited it sometime before 1946]
20 freedom
One of the reasons why this job at BAU would be the only government job he’d ever take was that he enjoyed his freedom way too much, but time seemed to pass even quicker these days and after meeting Hotch he knew his time at BAU would always feel too short.
21 life
Sometimes the weight of experience gathered from living so many decades hangs heavy on his shoulders, but the present is always his favorite because of its lightness, and now it also has the extra bonus of having Aaron Hotchner in it.
22 jealousy
Spencer listened to the easy banter between Morgan and Garcia over some detail needed for the team’s newest case and felt slightly jealous as he wished he could have even this level of closeness working with Hotch.
23 hands
Forced to dig his own grave by Tobias Hankel, Spencer desperately hoped the team would find him before he would get buried again - “this is at least the third time I have to do this, and I really don’t want to dig myself out again” he thought, remembering the first time in Peru where he had dug for nearly an hour before he saw the night sky.
**[another South America memory]
24 taste
“Here, try this - I don’t think you have tried grilled pork sushi before,” Hotch said as they were having sushi for lunch (Spencer gave him the remaining egg sushi piece, since that was his least favorite kind although there wasn’t any type of sushi he wouldn’t eat).
25 devotion
No matter what type of work Spencer did - manual labor the exception - he was always motivated to arrive to work early (knowing that Hotch would be there early too, sometimes before even, helped).
26 forever
During some quiet moments in his life, like now, sitting on a bench by a pond, he sometimes thinks of all the lovers he’s had in his life (Luis with his white teeth, smiling, and the one who he has mourned the longest, the brief few days with Albert in London, the one-night stand with “Cornell”, Joe, Chad - the only old one still alive, Rick with issues bigger than his present mother has, and Chris the latest that has ended)… and always ends up wanting to add Hotch to the list, even if it’s impossible and would be yet another short life passing through his long one.
**[the ones mentioned he has met from 1936 to 1990; the last two before Hotch died of AIDS]
27 blood
When the rest of team finally makes it down the bank to Spencer, only the blood in his hair remains from the obviously fatal head injury he got after being thrown; he’s relieved about that as Hotch’s hands are already shaky just checking for any serious wound.
28 sickness
As the annual autumn flu makes the rounds at the BAU, everyone, including Hotch, gets it, but not Spencer and he really can’t answer truthfully why.
29 melody
It felt sometimes that whenever Hotch turned the radio on, the song playing was about some form of love and it made Spencer feel uneasy - it felt like the song could easily reveal his secret.
30 star
“No, I don’t think one should reveal what one wishes,” he told Hotch after they’d watched a falling star move across the sky (he really didn’t want to reveal that he’d wished for true love).
31 home
New Orleans… he considered it almost a second childhood home because it was his birthplace, so he wished sometimes he could share his memories of it with Hotch (the visits his family had regularly made from Baltimore, where his favorite drugstore had been, and so on).
**[S says he was born in Vegas but N.O. is the real one; Baltimore is where he grew up]
32 confusion
He barely managed to not quickly look when he heard an old man call out one of his older names (“Al”) while they were in Boston - of course it turned out that the man had only been calling for some other man to come over - and it made him uncomfortable since Hotch had been looking at him already, and he rarely got caught reacting to his old names these days.
33 fear
Most of the time he was certain that none of the team’s members knew about his ‘crush’ on Hotch, but now and then Gideon would give him a look that made Spencer get a feeling that was a mixture of fear and nervousness.
34 lightning/thunder
Spencer didn’t fear thunderstorms, but some nights when the lightning threw shadows from the trees outside onto his bedroom wall, he wished Hotch was there with him.
35 bonds
Spencer had grown used to leaving whenever the life he was currently living turned a bit too harsh for him, but Hotch’s presence in his current life tied him to it solidly.
36 market
This hadn’t happened more than five times in the whole time Hotch and Haley were together, but sometimes he would, by chance, meet them at a market that was coincidentally just the right distance from both his and their place (and it was only embarrassing once because he didn’t look where he was going).
37 technology
Spencer felt a bit surprised that Hotch bought him an iPod as a birthday present - he didn’t expect getting anything so new from him - but as he had always liked the newest things one could get (remembering very clearly how exciting it had been to get a calculator back when he had still been living in Canada in the 1970s).
38 gift
He let Hotch look at Gideon’s farewell gift (a red bird whistle made of clay), thinking that such a private gift deserved to be shown to others now.
39 smile
“It’s so much different to read about history when one has lived through so many events mentioned in it,” he thought when he saw Hotch reading a book about history of Latin America in the 20th Century.
40 innocence
Spencer felt his face flush when he caught the briefest flash of Hotch’s stomach as he changed shirts, and quickly looked elsewhere so no one would notice.
41 completion
Looking at the chess board in front of him, Spencer decided that while he didn’t know much about Hotch’s skills, he’d still play a bit less competitively just to enjoy this game (and because he didn’t want it to end, because he felt unsure Hotch would play with him again).
42 clouds
They were almost done looking at the open-air crime scene, but not nearly enough in Spencer’s opinion, and he found himself whispering “hope those clouds won’t bring rain soon, Hotch” - not really caring if anyone else heard.
43 sky
…then he looked at Hotch, and just managed to catch him looking back in a serious but slightly unreadable manner.
44 heaven
That ‘floating on a cloud in heaven’ level of happiness Dilaudid gave him made him forget even Hotch for a moment…
45 hell
…but in the hellish first days of rehab Spencer could only think of Hotch and miss his presence all the time.
46 sun
Spencer knew he had done well in the rehab, but he still couldn’t look at Hotch much on the drive home, preferring to look at the sun flashing through the trees as they drove by.
47 moon
He hated searching for things and/or people at night, especially as most of the time it was really cold - but he loved looking now and then at the full moon in the sky and at Hotch’s torch ahead of him, flashing in the night.
48 waves
Drawing wavy lines on the sand he felt a desire to write Hotch’s name near the water’s edge and draw a heart around it but he wasn’t sure if he could dare to believe there would be something more than just friendship and work-related connection between the two of them in the near future (the stick almost started doing it this time).
49 hair
As much as Spencer liked Emily and sometimes wondered about having hair the colour she had, he felt stupidly jealous whenever he felt Hotch looked at her a bit longer (later on he found out those looks never had anything to do with how Emily looked).
50 supernova
The best repetitive dream he had in those early times involved him and Hotch dancing in a field by the bay while fireworks lit the sky behind them like supernovas.