(no subject)
Fandom: FF1/8-Bit Theater.
Pairing: Fighter x Swords.
Theme set: Delta.
Rating: PG, I guess.
01. Air.
Oxygen was like swords, only unnecessary.
02. Apples.
These existed solely to be sliced into fifty seven thousand pieces each, much like many other things that weren't swords.
03. Beginning.
It was either the pointy end or the not-pointy end, but Fighter did know one thing for sure: the pointy end started all the screaming that Black Mage always liked.
04. Bugs.
The scouts went squish when he hit them with a sword, and Fighter saw that it was good-and then he valiantly assailed the bees' stronghold while White Mage began scribing her two-weeks' notice.
05. Coffee.
Black Mage always seemed to be grumbling about coffee in the morning, but Fighter had discovered long ago that a sword woke him up just as easily.
06. Dark.
Long ago, a wise old man had given Fighter the sword of Ten Thousand Baby Eating Soldier Castrating Plagues of Hell Demons, or something like that, but he'd tossed it away in a pond because the damn thing was dark-aligned and was never shiny.
07. Despair.
One time, he'd met a woman that was made entirely out of SWORDS!-and then he'd woken up, and it was just Black Mage trying to stab him in the face again.
08. Doors.
Doors kinda sounded like swords, except with all the letters switched around.
09. Drink.
He'd tried this with a sword, and it had worked surprisingly well, especially since the blade of the thing actually plugged up the hole in his cheek.
10. Duty.
Where there were swords, Fighter would follow, but sometimes he saw two at once in opposite directions, and then he just kind of shut down until Black Mage inevitably obliterated one of them.
11. Earth.
It was a day of great rejoicing when Fighter finally figured it out: since he couldn't stab his sword through the Earth, the planet itself must be the fabled Armor of Invincibility-and it was there all along!
12. End.
Fighter had been a bit depressed about all the killing, but then Black Mage had told him to look at all the things he had started: crying, wailing, general sadness, and besides, the blood on his sword was shiny!
13. Fall.
But wait, that was the thing that came after Spring, why would anyone want him to do that on his swor-ohhhh, like-but the leaves would definitely make it look kinda funny...
14. Fire.
It was nice for warming up and all, but then, he could do that by just hitting stuff with a sword, too-and maybe if he hit the water enough times, it might somehow boil.
15. Flexible.
Lunch forgotten, Fighter sat dreaming of sword-pretzels.
16. Flying.
He'd seen something like this on Ye Olde Channele of Discoverye; if he could twirl his swords fast enough-he was pretty sure Red Mage could figure something out.
17. Food.
Only slightly less necessary than swords-unless he could somehow COMBINE them, and then they could just ditch all the rations and things Thief was always complaining about buying.
18. Foot.
Fighter had always thought his martial arts would work better if-wait-what if he replaced his feet with swords!?
19. Grave.
Fighter had once said that he'd like to take his sword to his grave; Black Mage had instructed him that one sure way to do this was to stab himself upward through the chest, but his armor had sadly gotten in the way.
20. Green.
His instructor at the Academy had told him once that the only thing that could defeat his sword were little green healing numbers; Fighter's not sure what this means, but when he finds those numbers, he plans to stab them until they're not breathing any more.
21. Head.
It was a good place to stab; Fighter was pretty sure he had the advantage, though, because Black Mage said he never used his, anyway.
22. Hollow.
Why knock, when he could just stab it and see if it went squish?
23. Honor.
There was something about loyalty, discipline, and sacrifice here, but they'd passed out the swords before the ceremony, and...
24. Hope.
White Mage was quoting something inspirational about hope and it springing eternally, but all Fighter really got out of it was sword-slinkies.
25. Light.
This made swords shiny, and was therefore, unlike oxygen or food or torsos, necessary.
26. Lost.
His sword was even useful when Fighter got completely lost: he could confidently follow where it pointed in relatively small circles until the others eventually tracked him down.
27. Metal.
The standard material; if only there was a way to make swords out of swords, like a sword sword, and then a sword-sword sword, and a sword-sword-sword sword, and a sword-sword-sword-sword sword, and...
28. New.
There was no better feeling than buying a new sword, unless it was buying two swords; it probably would have felt even better to buy three swords, but counting that high was more trouble than it was worth, and besides, where would he even carry a third sword, in his mout-oooohhhhh...
29. Old.
Swords were awesome even when they got all old and dull; he wasn't sure how Black Mage knew about his collection of useless swords in his attic back at home, but Black Mage was always going on about how he was sure Fighter could find the perfect place to put a long, blunt object of pain.
30. Peace.
He had been afraid of peace for a while, because he had once thought that peace meant no more swords; White Mage got him over that fear by explain that peace does mean swords, just not doing the whole "slicy squish human blender" thing with them.
31. Poison.
Fighter had always known that swords were things of immeasurable virtue; how exactly that worked, however, had always been rather unclear in his head, until Black Mage explained that Life was like poison and Swords were like antidotes.
32. Pretty.
One time, he’d seen Black Mage looking at some girls in chain mail and he’d asked if he could see them too, and Black Mage had been all so you’re finally reaching puberty? but he was actually just more interested in their swords.
33. Rain.
The one thing he's jealous of Black Mage for is that he can't make the world rain pretty red pieces of hadoken-exploded corpseflesh with a sword-it works in a two foot radius, but nothing grand like that; hey wait-maybe if he got a bigger sword, he could make more pretties!
34. Regret.
He remembers random people always saying, "you'll regret it!" before he did stuff that made people angry and made them chase him and Black Mage everywhere, but he's always figured that since "it" must be a bad thing (since people were chasing them and stuff), "regret" meant "kill them until they die from sword wounds," and it's worked so far.
35. Roses.
One time, on Ye Olde Valentine'se Daye, Fighter had found a bouquet of roses and put a special present inside before presenting it to his favorite girl; to this day, she still has a scar from where the sword stabbed her face when she tried to smell them, and every time he remembers the story, Black Mage always makes it a point now to remind him that good intentions are wasted on the blind.
36. Secret.
One time... he'd used a mace.
37. Snakes.
Fighter had forcibly broken out of Petrify once when he'd been separated from his sword before being hit with the spell; everyone had been mad at him later for freezing up again once he had it and not using some kind of restore item on the rest of them, but so what if they'd all been picked up and carried away by the crazy snake lady-he had his sword, and it was awesomely GLUED to his hand!
38. Snow.
Black Mage was always going on about how snowballs were so much more effective if you hid a sword in them; Fighter’s thinking, EVERYTHING’s more effective with a sword in it, then wondering how exactly he’s going to fit a sword in Thief without him going squish and bleeding to death-maybe White Mage could help?
39. Solid.
When asked if he was compensating for something, Fighter was a little confused when he responded confidently with an I’m making up for the lack of swordage in other areas! because hey, it wasn’t like the square-mile-to-sword ratio in the middle of the plains was all too high…
40. Spring.
One time, he’d hit something bouncy and his sword had flown back and hit him in the face-it was probably a good thing he’d accidentally put his helmet on backwards that day.
41. Stable.
That was the good thing about his sword: it wasn’t confusing like Black Mage who would offer him poisoned (but delicious!) cookies one day and then try to stab him in the face on the next.
42. Strange.
Thief asked White Mage once if Fighter was bellowing over and over in some kind of pain, but it turned out that Fighter was trying to sing to his sword-he just couldn’t really remember anything but the first note.
43. Summer.
Fighter likes summertime, ‘cause that’s when Black Mage is pissiest from all the sunshine or something, and he gets to kill the most running-and-screaming squishies with his sword.
44. Taboo.
It weirds him out sometimes, when he thinks about it, that his sword was only created two years ago-an infant compared to himself who was the great age of… wait… numbers… he’ll get this eventually…
45. Ugly.
He’s not really sure why Red Mage laughs so hard and goes to tell Thief when he tells him that that there are a million kinds of swords but all of them are awesome and shiny and beat that with your “women” thing!
46. Drive.
That was the thing you did, with swords, into body parts, according to Black Mage-Fighter would have checked for himself, but Black Mage wasn’t sharing the dictionary and besides, it was full of words and evil spells and necromancy and stuff anyway.
47. Harm.
Fighter had been opposed to Thief’s stealing tendences until Thief had told him he was merely “moving things like swords to more deserving hands, like yours”-and Fighter agreed to keep quiet because he knew just as well as everyone else that no one in the world could love, cherish, worship, exalt, and sing one-note lullabies to swords as well as he could.
48. Precious.
One time, this elf boy had offered to buy his sword for five hundred rupees or something like that, but Fighter had been too busy staring at the shiny fairy-thing to notice, and had been pretty surprised when the elf boy noticed him looking and begged him to keep it.
49. Hunger.
Black Mage had said once that with enough swords, he could solve world hunger; Fighter had stared at his weapon in awe and was all for the plan, and hadn’t understood why White Mage was looking so pissed at the both of them.
50. Believe.
Fighter’s learning that every time Black Mage says “trust me,” it means lots of fire and explosions and yelling squishy things trying to kill them that he gets to stab with his sword-he’s pretty sure that “trust me” is some kind of magic spell, and he’d like Black Mage to cast it more often.
Pairing: Fighter x Swords.
Theme set: Delta.
Rating: PG, I guess.
01. Air.
Oxygen was like swords, only unnecessary.
02. Apples.
These existed solely to be sliced into fifty seven thousand pieces each, much like many other things that weren't swords.
03. Beginning.
It was either the pointy end or the not-pointy end, but Fighter did know one thing for sure: the pointy end started all the screaming that Black Mage always liked.
04. Bugs.
The scouts went squish when he hit them with a sword, and Fighter saw that it was good-and then he valiantly assailed the bees' stronghold while White Mage began scribing her two-weeks' notice.
05. Coffee.
Black Mage always seemed to be grumbling about coffee in the morning, but Fighter had discovered long ago that a sword woke him up just as easily.
06. Dark.
Long ago, a wise old man had given Fighter the sword of Ten Thousand Baby Eating Soldier Castrating Plagues of Hell Demons, or something like that, but he'd tossed it away in a pond because the damn thing was dark-aligned and was never shiny.
07. Despair.
One time, he'd met a woman that was made entirely out of SWORDS!-and then he'd woken up, and it was just Black Mage trying to stab him in the face again.
08. Doors.
Doors kinda sounded like swords, except with all the letters switched around.
09. Drink.
He'd tried this with a sword, and it had worked surprisingly well, especially since the blade of the thing actually plugged up the hole in his cheek.
10. Duty.
Where there were swords, Fighter would follow, but sometimes he saw two at once in opposite directions, and then he just kind of shut down until Black Mage inevitably obliterated one of them.
11. Earth.
It was a day of great rejoicing when Fighter finally figured it out: since he couldn't stab his sword through the Earth, the planet itself must be the fabled Armor of Invincibility-and it was there all along!
12. End.
Fighter had been a bit depressed about all the killing, but then Black Mage had told him to look at all the things he had started: crying, wailing, general sadness, and besides, the blood on his sword was shiny!
13. Fall.
But wait, that was the thing that came after Spring, why would anyone want him to do that on his swor-ohhhh, like-but the leaves would definitely make it look kinda funny...
14. Fire.
It was nice for warming up and all, but then, he could do that by just hitting stuff with a sword, too-and maybe if he hit the water enough times, it might somehow boil.
15. Flexible.
Lunch forgotten, Fighter sat dreaming of sword-pretzels.
16. Flying.
He'd seen something like this on Ye Olde Channele of Discoverye; if he could twirl his swords fast enough-he was pretty sure Red Mage could figure something out.
17. Food.
Only slightly less necessary than swords-unless he could somehow COMBINE them, and then they could just ditch all the rations and things Thief was always complaining about buying.
18. Foot.
Fighter had always thought his martial arts would work better if-wait-what if he replaced his feet with swords!?
19. Grave.
Fighter had once said that he'd like to take his sword to his grave; Black Mage had instructed him that one sure way to do this was to stab himself upward through the chest, but his armor had sadly gotten in the way.
20. Green.
His instructor at the Academy had told him once that the only thing that could defeat his sword were little green healing numbers; Fighter's not sure what this means, but when he finds those numbers, he plans to stab them until they're not breathing any more.
21. Head.
It was a good place to stab; Fighter was pretty sure he had the advantage, though, because Black Mage said he never used his, anyway.
22. Hollow.
Why knock, when he could just stab it and see if it went squish?
23. Honor.
There was something about loyalty, discipline, and sacrifice here, but they'd passed out the swords before the ceremony, and...
24. Hope.
White Mage was quoting something inspirational about hope and it springing eternally, but all Fighter really got out of it was sword-slinkies.
25. Light.
This made swords shiny, and was therefore, unlike oxygen or food or torsos, necessary.
26. Lost.
His sword was even useful when Fighter got completely lost: he could confidently follow where it pointed in relatively small circles until the others eventually tracked him down.
27. Metal.
The standard material; if only there was a way to make swords out of swords, like a sword sword, and then a sword-sword sword, and a sword-sword-sword sword, and a sword-sword-sword-sword sword, and...
28. New.
There was no better feeling than buying a new sword, unless it was buying two swords; it probably would have felt even better to buy three swords, but counting that high was more trouble than it was worth, and besides, where would he even carry a third sword, in his mout-oooohhhhh...
29. Old.
Swords were awesome even when they got all old and dull; he wasn't sure how Black Mage knew about his collection of useless swords in his attic back at home, but Black Mage was always going on about how he was sure Fighter could find the perfect place to put a long, blunt object of pain.
30. Peace.
He had been afraid of peace for a while, because he had once thought that peace meant no more swords; White Mage got him over that fear by explain that peace does mean swords, just not doing the whole "slicy squish human blender" thing with them.
31. Poison.
Fighter had always known that swords were things of immeasurable virtue; how exactly that worked, however, had always been rather unclear in his head, until Black Mage explained that Life was like poison and Swords were like antidotes.
32. Pretty.
One time, he’d seen Black Mage looking at some girls in chain mail and he’d asked if he could see them too, and Black Mage had been all so you’re finally reaching puberty? but he was actually just more interested in their swords.
33. Rain.
The one thing he's jealous of Black Mage for is that he can't make the world rain pretty red pieces of hadoken-exploded corpseflesh with a sword-it works in a two foot radius, but nothing grand like that; hey wait-maybe if he got a bigger sword, he could make more pretties!
34. Regret.
He remembers random people always saying, "you'll regret it!" before he did stuff that made people angry and made them chase him and Black Mage everywhere, but he's always figured that since "it" must be a bad thing (since people were chasing them and stuff), "regret" meant "kill them until they die from sword wounds," and it's worked so far.
35. Roses.
One time, on Ye Olde Valentine'se Daye, Fighter had found a bouquet of roses and put a special present inside before presenting it to his favorite girl; to this day, she still has a scar from where the sword stabbed her face when she tried to smell them, and every time he remembers the story, Black Mage always makes it a point now to remind him that good intentions are wasted on the blind.
36. Secret.
One time... he'd used a mace.
37. Snakes.
Fighter had forcibly broken out of Petrify once when he'd been separated from his sword before being hit with the spell; everyone had been mad at him later for freezing up again once he had it and not using some kind of restore item on the rest of them, but so what if they'd all been picked up and carried away by the crazy snake lady-he had his sword, and it was awesomely GLUED to his hand!
38. Snow.
Black Mage was always going on about how snowballs were so much more effective if you hid a sword in them; Fighter’s thinking, EVERYTHING’s more effective with a sword in it, then wondering how exactly he’s going to fit a sword in Thief without him going squish and bleeding to death-maybe White Mage could help?
39. Solid.
When asked if he was compensating for something, Fighter was a little confused when he responded confidently with an I’m making up for the lack of swordage in other areas! because hey, it wasn’t like the square-mile-to-sword ratio in the middle of the plains was all too high…
40. Spring.
One time, he’d hit something bouncy and his sword had flown back and hit him in the face-it was probably a good thing he’d accidentally put his helmet on backwards that day.
41. Stable.
That was the good thing about his sword: it wasn’t confusing like Black Mage who would offer him poisoned (but delicious!) cookies one day and then try to stab him in the face on the next.
42. Strange.
Thief asked White Mage once if Fighter was bellowing over and over in some kind of pain, but it turned out that Fighter was trying to sing to his sword-he just couldn’t really remember anything but the first note.
43. Summer.
Fighter likes summertime, ‘cause that’s when Black Mage is pissiest from all the sunshine or something, and he gets to kill the most running-and-screaming squishies with his sword.
44. Taboo.
It weirds him out sometimes, when he thinks about it, that his sword was only created two years ago-an infant compared to himself who was the great age of… wait… numbers… he’ll get this eventually…
45. Ugly.
He’s not really sure why Red Mage laughs so hard and goes to tell Thief when he tells him that that there are a million kinds of swords but all of them are awesome and shiny and beat that with your “women” thing!
46. Drive.
That was the thing you did, with swords, into body parts, according to Black Mage-Fighter would have checked for himself, but Black Mage wasn’t sharing the dictionary and besides, it was full of words and evil spells and necromancy and stuff anyway.
47. Harm.
Fighter had been opposed to Thief’s stealing tendences until Thief had told him he was merely “moving things like swords to more deserving hands, like yours”-and Fighter agreed to keep quiet because he knew just as well as everyone else that no one in the world could love, cherish, worship, exalt, and sing one-note lullabies to swords as well as he could.
48. Precious.
One time, this elf boy had offered to buy his sword for five hundred rupees or something like that, but Fighter had been too busy staring at the shiny fairy-thing to notice, and had been pretty surprised when the elf boy noticed him looking and begged him to keep it.
49. Hunger.
Black Mage had said once that with enough swords, he could solve world hunger; Fighter had stared at his weapon in awe and was all for the plan, and hadn’t understood why White Mage was looking so pissed at the both of them.
50. Believe.
Fighter’s learning that every time Black Mage says “trust me,” it means lots of fire and explosions and yelling squishy things trying to kill them that he gets to stab with his sword-he’s pretty sure that “trust me” is some kind of magic spell, and he’d like Black Mage to cast it more often.