My first 50 statements ~.^
Fandom: Animorphs
Pairing: Jake Berenson and Tobias
Theme set: Beta
Rating: NC-17. Or PG-18. Either way, there’s a lot of mentions of m/m in here, but it’s mostly comedy. For humor purposes only. OH, and I think I cheated…
1. Walking
There were two things he particularly liked about being a hawk, and that was flight and his telescopic vision, both of which helped him single out a certain oval of brown hair trudging to school among so many other heads.
2. Waltz
“You know, you’ve got issues; you kill rodents and snakes for meals, you fight alien creepazoids from who-knows-where, and you can do a hundred-foot dive that puts all roller-coasters to shame, but you freak out at this?!”
3. Wishes
As soon as Jake blew out the candles on his cake, a bird flew in through his bedroom window, which slowly demorphed into the boy of his dreams… who had forgotten to wear spandex before morphing.
4. Wonder
As Jake lay spent on his bed, the beautiful, blond woman laying on top of him looked into his eyes and panted, “now will you please stop wondering how it’s like to fuck a girl?” as the sapphire eyes melted into the hawk’s piercing gold… (“Now can we please do this the old-fashioned way?” his boy-toy added.)
5. Worry
The morphing technology protected them from getting any disease (of the sexual kind), but Jake wondered if he was also protected against the troubles Tobias acquired in his forest life-style: like fleas.
6. Whimsy (Somewhat connected to 14)
“Toby, no offense or anything, but can you try acquiring some bad-ass, porn star morph just for fun?”
7. Waste
As Tobias watched Jake undress, he remembered some stuff girls said about his boyfriend and silently thought, “Well, you ain’t wasted on me.”
8. Whisky and Rum
Tobias leaned in and silkily whispered to his ear, “Maybe you should have used it on me instead of Ax…” But Jake knew there was no need to get him drunk so he could have his way.
9. War
When he saw the stuck-up air-headed chick flirt with his boy (thereby moving in on his territory), he mentally noted that another war has just begun.
10. Weddings
While flying over the banquet, Jake in his temporary falcon body and Tobias in his default hawk, they noted the bride in her elegant white, the groom in a stuffy tuxedo, the guests cheery and merry-making, Jake saw the hawk look over in askance and replied: “No. Never. Nada. Uh-uh. Over my dead body. Not in a million years. Get it?”
11. Birthday
Tobias flew in through Jake’s bedroom window and saw his gift: Jake holding a candle while wearing a Playboy bunny costume, and written with icing on his bare chest were the words “cake is for losers”.
12. Blessing
“You know, you didn’t need to get a female red-tailed hawk morph to tell me you love me; the old way will do.”
13. Bias
“So. Reconnaissance mission in the dead of night. Would you rather have Marco or Tobias with you?” Rachel asked hypothetically.
Marco coughed comically and said, “As if I have a chance.”
14. Burning
Jake felt like his rear was on fire as he told himself that Tobias’s new morph would take some getting-used-to (it was definitely bigger than the old one).
15. Breathing
It was a good thing hawks don’t have a sense of smell, or else Tobias would forever be intoxicated whenever Jake carried him in his arms.
16. Breaking
“Breaking in? Well, with cars, you have to get them used to doing long distances so they’d function better. As well with other stuff so that they’d get used to doing whatever they’re supposed to do,” Rachel explained. “Why ask? Heard something on TV?”
Ax cocked his temporary human head. “But why would Prince Jake need to ‘break’ Tobias ‘in’? He’s not a car.”
17. Belief
[Tobias?] Aximili called softly. [I am your shorm, correct?]
[Uh, yeah…?]
[And I am the one you feel a closest friendship with, correct?]
[Yup, that’s true.]
[Well…] Ax paused and focused all eyes on Tobias and wondering briefly if he was being rude in asking so. [When will you invite me to be your “best man”? Although I don’t believe myself to be the best and I have an attachment to flowers, I am not a girl so I cannot be part of that group-]
[Ax!] Tobias interrupted, glad that he was hawk at the moment. [We don’t believe in that stuff.]
18. Balloon
Marco glanced at his best friend, doing little waving motions at the sky, so subtle no one from a distance would pick them up. He followed his upward gaze and noted the spot of brown against the sky’s blue before whispering very politely, “Dude. That’s a weather balloon.”
Jake, ever so slowly, pulled his hand down.
19. Balcony
[Hey, may not be much of a home to a human, but this tree’s my own personal territory. At least I’ve got a balcony, and the best you have is a window.]
20. Bane
“Jake, dude, you’re my best friend and all, but will you please stop talking about your sex life? Let’s keep in mind that little Marco here is straight.”
21. Quiet
When after a session Tobias never made a single sound, not a moan nor a groan, not even a whisper, did Jake say, “Mmm. I love a challenge.”
22. Quirks
As they lay beside each other, panting, Jake asked, “So. Who you wanna do next?”
“I dunno,” Tobias answered, mind still racing. “Let’s see who else you got.”
Jake’s hair was already half-way blond before he replied with, “I think you’re gonna like this one.”
23. Question
[Marco, I learned yet another new means to classify humans. I learned it from Tobias.] Ax paused politely.
“Sure, fire away.” Marco took a sip of his drink. “Not like you’d stop even if I told you to. What complex psychological tool did bird-boy teach you this time?”
Ax was completely mystified when he got a spray of Mountain Dew to the face as a response to asking, [Are you a top or a bottom?]
24. Quarrel
It only took a glance at the dead rabbit on his pillow to know that Tobias still hasn’t forgiven him.
25. Quitting
“You’re gonna teach me how to do that wondrous tongue thing you do even if you die trying!” Jake demanded of his secretive plaything. “It’s gonna be for your own good too, you know.”
26. Jump
“Marco, you gotta stop jumping whenever I touch you,” Tobias said. “It doesn’t mean I’ve got the hots for you.”
“Yeah, you gotta control that impulse,” Jake added. “Tobias learned to after our first.”
“Okay, I am SO NOT hearing this right now!” the straight guy exclaimed.
27. Jester
“I wonder if I should expose Ax to this kind of human behavior. It’d help him with his study of humans, right? And his human morph’s kind of hot.”
“… Are you contemplating having sex with your uncle?”
“I was kidding!”
“Oh. Too bad.”
28. Jousting
”Mine’s bigger!”
“No! Mine!”
29. Jewel
Although Jake didn’t have much in the way of fashion or accessories, he admitted that he had the best emeralds in the world: Tobias’s human eyes.
30. Just
Although Jake let him sleep in his room every once in a while, he was careful to preen himself before heading for his home. The guy was very kind to him as is, and he didn’t think it was rightful payment to leave fleas in his room.
31. Smirk
[Jake, buddy, I just gotta tell you this: sometimes, I’d just love to wipe that smirk out of Marco’s face. It’s too sexy for his own good.]
“Whoa, he’s off limits. I don’t think I can handle actually being surrounded by gay people almost all my life.”
32. Sorrow
“I guess it just bugs me that Tom and I would never do those thing that brothers normally do, no matter how silly. And knowing that those scum are why… That’s another reason why I hate them. I’ll grow up as a first-born even if I have an older brother.”
“Err… Aren’t we doing what hot brothers normally do?”
“Not that thing!”
33. Stupidity
“Okay, what did idiot Marco pay you to morph me and find out if seeing myself naked will turn me on?”
34. Serenade
[Tobias, tradition dictates that Prince Jake must display his affection for you in this musical means in order to assure you and your family, therefore me, that he is indeed serious. Loyal to him as I may be, I must insist on this formality.]
[Ax. Do you really want to hear Jake sing?]
Silence. [Is it that bad?]
[Well, let’s say that whatever it is with him I’m in love with, his singing definitely isn’t it.]
35. Sarcasm
“Umh…” Tobias moaned. “Jake… Oh, don’t… unh… Jake… Stop…”
“… Okay,” Jake responded, befuddled. Was he doing it wrong?
“I meant ‘don’t stop!’” Tobias nearly yelled. “Geez, when did you get so literal, anyway?”
36. Sordid
Jake didn’t make any reaction as Tobias stated his request, then he gave an audible sigh and replied, “Just when I though we couldn’t get any dirtier.”
37. Soliloquy
“This thing’s screwed on tight,” Marco complained when even he and Rachel working together couldn’t open the newly bought mayo jar.
“Not as tight as Jake when I deflowered his rear,” Tobias muttered. When greeted with the shocked, wide-eyed stares of everyone in the group and Jake’s very sudden red face, he added, “Please don’t tell me I said that out loud.”
Rachel shook her head, trying to forget the troublesome revelation. “Ah, the troubles of getting used to thought-speech.”
38. Sojourn
“So after our brief refraction period here in the library, where should we head off next?” Tobias asked wonderingly.
“Somewhere with water,” Jake replied. “Our tryst in the hotel air-conditioning system got me kind of dirty.”
39. Share
[Marco, after Tobias has verbally shared his experiences in human morph during his teenage years, and noting how he keeps repeating them, I am lead to conclude that my human morph, also in its teenage years, might be an ideal tool to explore my stay here in Earth by partaking in this possibly addicting act of formation.]
“Yeah, and you’re asking me this why? Want me to hook you up with some chicks?”
[I was wondering if we could do some suck-]
“WHOA! Too much information!” Marco yelled as he ran as fast as he could.
40. Solitary
“Hey, didn’t we agree that solo-missions are bad? What about back up?” Rachel pointed out as they contemplated spying on the latest Yeerk Pool opening.
“Yeah, we’d really rather not send anyone alone,” Tobias agreed.
“Yup. Solitary exploration is wrong,” Jake added, nodding at Tobias.
Brief pause.
“I did not just hear that,” Rachel said, breaking the silence.
“Dude,” Marco commented, “I know you mean well and all, but you saying that while looking at your boy-toy… that sounded so wrong.”
41. Nowhere
“So where have I not kissed you yet?” Jake asked innocently.
42. Neutral
“Just how am I supposed to remain unbiased if you keep winking at me like that?” Jake commented at his boy after being asked to judge who the bigger geek is between Marco and Tobias.
43. Nuance
“You know, spandex has really saved us from really embarrassing situations before,” Tobias noted, “but when it’s just the two of us, I think they’ve outgrown their usefulness.”
44. Near
[Tobias, Prince Jake is coming.]
[What?! But I haven’t even touched him yet!]
[No, I meant he’s nearby. He’s coming for you.]
[Oh. You didn’t hear me say a thing.]
45. Natural
Tobias eyed the lube suspiciously. “You sure that thing’s organic? I don’t want to get sick or something when I go back to bird form.”
46. Horizon
Back when he was human, Tobias always thought happiness was out of reach but always in sight, as if the gods were teasing him with it. But now that he was only temporarily human and with Jake, the only thing out of reach was… probably nothing.
47. Valiant
“I always thought you two looked good together,” Marco shared to his best friend and the bird-boy. “Jake was always a ‘knight in shining armor’ type of guy. And now, he’s got his pet hawk to complete the picture. But… Toby? I think the picture might be clearer if you were a horse instead.”
48. Virtuous
[Just how did you put up with Marco for so long?]
“He just takes some getting-used-to. Patience, that whole crap with it being a virtue. Either you have it or you don’t.”
49. Victory
“Okay, for this round…” Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “Tobias has the cuter morph. Where’d you get it anyway?”
“Well, if I told you, I’d have to keep Jake chained to my tree until I disperse the hot guys that gather there.”
50. Defeat
“Jake, is there a reason why you’re wearing a headband with large bunny ears and a shirt with your naked baby picture printed on it?” Erek asked.
Jake sighed. “You know that challenge with knotting a cherry stalk with only your mouth? Well, turns out that Tobias still has perfect control over his tongue despite the months in his hawk body. Now will you please hurry up with that hologram?!”
Well, watcha think?
Pairing: Jake Berenson and Tobias
Theme set: Beta
Rating: NC-17. Or PG-18. Either way, there’s a lot of mentions of m/m in here, but it’s mostly comedy. For humor purposes only. OH, and I think I cheated…
1. Walking
There were two things he particularly liked about being a hawk, and that was flight and his telescopic vision, both of which helped him single out a certain oval of brown hair trudging to school among so many other heads.
2. Waltz
“You know, you’ve got issues; you kill rodents and snakes for meals, you fight alien creepazoids from who-knows-where, and you can do a hundred-foot dive that puts all roller-coasters to shame, but you freak out at this?!”
3. Wishes
As soon as Jake blew out the candles on his cake, a bird flew in through his bedroom window, which slowly demorphed into the boy of his dreams… who had forgotten to wear spandex before morphing.
4. Wonder
As Jake lay spent on his bed, the beautiful, blond woman laying on top of him looked into his eyes and panted, “now will you please stop wondering how it’s like to fuck a girl?” as the sapphire eyes melted into the hawk’s piercing gold… (“Now can we please do this the old-fashioned way?” his boy-toy added.)
5. Worry
The morphing technology protected them from getting any disease (of the sexual kind), but Jake wondered if he was also protected against the troubles Tobias acquired in his forest life-style: like fleas.
6. Whimsy (Somewhat connected to 14)
“Toby, no offense or anything, but can you try acquiring some bad-ass, porn star morph just for fun?”
7. Waste
As Tobias watched Jake undress, he remembered some stuff girls said about his boyfriend and silently thought, “Well, you ain’t wasted on me.”
8. Whisky and Rum
Tobias leaned in and silkily whispered to his ear, “Maybe you should have used it on me instead of Ax…” But Jake knew there was no need to get him drunk so he could have his way.
9. War
When he saw the stuck-up air-headed chick flirt with his boy (thereby moving in on his territory), he mentally noted that another war has just begun.
10. Weddings
While flying over the banquet, Jake in his temporary falcon body and Tobias in his default hawk, they noted the bride in her elegant white, the groom in a stuffy tuxedo, the guests cheery and merry-making, Jake saw the hawk look over in askance and replied: “No. Never. Nada. Uh-uh. Over my dead body. Not in a million years. Get it?”
11. Birthday
Tobias flew in through Jake’s bedroom window and saw his gift: Jake holding a candle while wearing a Playboy bunny costume, and written with icing on his bare chest were the words “cake is for losers”.
12. Blessing
“You know, you didn’t need to get a female red-tailed hawk morph to tell me you love me; the old way will do.”
13. Bias
“So. Reconnaissance mission in the dead of night. Would you rather have Marco or Tobias with you?” Rachel asked hypothetically.
Marco coughed comically and said, “As if I have a chance.”
14. Burning
Jake felt like his rear was on fire as he told himself that Tobias’s new morph would take some getting-used-to (it was definitely bigger than the old one).
15. Breathing
It was a good thing hawks don’t have a sense of smell, or else Tobias would forever be intoxicated whenever Jake carried him in his arms.
16. Breaking
“Breaking in? Well, with cars, you have to get them used to doing long distances so they’d function better. As well with other stuff so that they’d get used to doing whatever they’re supposed to do,” Rachel explained. “Why ask? Heard something on TV?”
Ax cocked his temporary human head. “But why would Prince Jake need to ‘break’ Tobias ‘in’? He’s not a car.”
17. Belief
[Tobias?] Aximili called softly. [I am your shorm, correct?]
[Uh, yeah…?]
[And I am the one you feel a closest friendship with, correct?]
[Yup, that’s true.]
[Well…] Ax paused and focused all eyes on Tobias and wondering briefly if he was being rude in asking so. [When will you invite me to be your “best man”? Although I don’t believe myself to be the best and I have an attachment to flowers, I am not a girl so I cannot be part of that group-]
[Ax!] Tobias interrupted, glad that he was hawk at the moment. [We don’t believe in that stuff.]
18. Balloon
Marco glanced at his best friend, doing little waving motions at the sky, so subtle no one from a distance would pick them up. He followed his upward gaze and noted the spot of brown against the sky’s blue before whispering very politely, “Dude. That’s a weather balloon.”
Jake, ever so slowly, pulled his hand down.
19. Balcony
[Hey, may not be much of a home to a human, but this tree’s my own personal territory. At least I’ve got a balcony, and the best you have is a window.]
20. Bane
“Jake, dude, you’re my best friend and all, but will you please stop talking about your sex life? Let’s keep in mind that little Marco here is straight.”
21. Quiet
When after a session Tobias never made a single sound, not a moan nor a groan, not even a whisper, did Jake say, “Mmm. I love a challenge.”
22. Quirks
As they lay beside each other, panting, Jake asked, “So. Who you wanna do next?”
“I dunno,” Tobias answered, mind still racing. “Let’s see who else you got.”
Jake’s hair was already half-way blond before he replied with, “I think you’re gonna like this one.”
23. Question
[Marco, I learned yet another new means to classify humans. I learned it from Tobias.] Ax paused politely.
“Sure, fire away.” Marco took a sip of his drink. “Not like you’d stop even if I told you to. What complex psychological tool did bird-boy teach you this time?”
Ax was completely mystified when he got a spray of Mountain Dew to the face as a response to asking, [Are you a top or a bottom?]
24. Quarrel
It only took a glance at the dead rabbit on his pillow to know that Tobias still hasn’t forgiven him.
25. Quitting
“You’re gonna teach me how to do that wondrous tongue thing you do even if you die trying!” Jake demanded of his secretive plaything. “It’s gonna be for your own good too, you know.”
26. Jump
“Marco, you gotta stop jumping whenever I touch you,” Tobias said. “It doesn’t mean I’ve got the hots for you.”
“Yeah, you gotta control that impulse,” Jake added. “Tobias learned to after our first.”
“Okay, I am SO NOT hearing this right now!” the straight guy exclaimed.
27. Jester
“I wonder if I should expose Ax to this kind of human behavior. It’d help him with his study of humans, right? And his human morph’s kind of hot.”
“… Are you contemplating having sex with your uncle?”
“I was kidding!”
“Oh. Too bad.”
28. Jousting
”Mine’s bigger!”
“No! Mine!”
29. Jewel
Although Jake didn’t have much in the way of fashion or accessories, he admitted that he had the best emeralds in the world: Tobias’s human eyes.
30. Just
Although Jake let him sleep in his room every once in a while, he was careful to preen himself before heading for his home. The guy was very kind to him as is, and he didn’t think it was rightful payment to leave fleas in his room.
31. Smirk
[Jake, buddy, I just gotta tell you this: sometimes, I’d just love to wipe that smirk out of Marco’s face. It’s too sexy for his own good.]
“Whoa, he’s off limits. I don’t think I can handle actually being surrounded by gay people almost all my life.”
32. Sorrow
“I guess it just bugs me that Tom and I would never do those thing that brothers normally do, no matter how silly. And knowing that those scum are why… That’s another reason why I hate them. I’ll grow up as a first-born even if I have an older brother.”
“Err… Aren’t we doing what hot brothers normally do?”
“Not that thing!”
33. Stupidity
“Okay, what did idiot Marco pay you to morph me and find out if seeing myself naked will turn me on?”
34. Serenade
[Tobias, tradition dictates that Prince Jake must display his affection for you in this musical means in order to assure you and your family, therefore me, that he is indeed serious. Loyal to him as I may be, I must insist on this formality.]
[Ax. Do you really want to hear Jake sing?]
Silence. [Is it that bad?]
[Well, let’s say that whatever it is with him I’m in love with, his singing definitely isn’t it.]
35. Sarcasm
“Umh…” Tobias moaned. “Jake… Oh, don’t… unh… Jake… Stop…”
“… Okay,” Jake responded, befuddled. Was he doing it wrong?
“I meant ‘don’t stop!’” Tobias nearly yelled. “Geez, when did you get so literal, anyway?”
36. Sordid
Jake didn’t make any reaction as Tobias stated his request, then he gave an audible sigh and replied, “Just when I though we couldn’t get any dirtier.”
37. Soliloquy
“This thing’s screwed on tight,” Marco complained when even he and Rachel working together couldn’t open the newly bought mayo jar.
“Not as tight as Jake when I deflowered his rear,” Tobias muttered. When greeted with the shocked, wide-eyed stares of everyone in the group and Jake’s very sudden red face, he added, “Please don’t tell me I said that out loud.”
Rachel shook her head, trying to forget the troublesome revelation. “Ah, the troubles of getting used to thought-speech.”
38. Sojourn
“So after our brief refraction period here in the library, where should we head off next?” Tobias asked wonderingly.
“Somewhere with water,” Jake replied. “Our tryst in the hotel air-conditioning system got me kind of dirty.”
39. Share
[Marco, after Tobias has verbally shared his experiences in human morph during his teenage years, and noting how he keeps repeating them, I am lead to conclude that my human morph, also in its teenage years, might be an ideal tool to explore my stay here in Earth by partaking in this possibly addicting act of formation.]
“Yeah, and you’re asking me this why? Want me to hook you up with some chicks?”
[I was wondering if we could do some suck-]
“WHOA! Too much information!” Marco yelled as he ran as fast as he could.
40. Solitary
“Hey, didn’t we agree that solo-missions are bad? What about back up?” Rachel pointed out as they contemplated spying on the latest Yeerk Pool opening.
“Yeah, we’d really rather not send anyone alone,” Tobias agreed.
“Yup. Solitary exploration is wrong,” Jake added, nodding at Tobias.
Brief pause.
“I did not just hear that,” Rachel said, breaking the silence.
“Dude,” Marco commented, “I know you mean well and all, but you saying that while looking at your boy-toy… that sounded so wrong.”
41. Nowhere
“So where have I not kissed you yet?” Jake asked innocently.
42. Neutral
“Just how am I supposed to remain unbiased if you keep winking at me like that?” Jake commented at his boy after being asked to judge who the bigger geek is between Marco and Tobias.
43. Nuance
“You know, spandex has really saved us from really embarrassing situations before,” Tobias noted, “but when it’s just the two of us, I think they’ve outgrown their usefulness.”
44. Near
[Tobias, Prince Jake is coming.]
[What?! But I haven’t even touched him yet!]
[No, I meant he’s nearby. He’s coming for you.]
[Oh. You didn’t hear me say a thing.]
45. Natural
Tobias eyed the lube suspiciously. “You sure that thing’s organic? I don’t want to get sick or something when I go back to bird form.”
46. Horizon
Back when he was human, Tobias always thought happiness was out of reach but always in sight, as if the gods were teasing him with it. But now that he was only temporarily human and with Jake, the only thing out of reach was… probably nothing.
47. Valiant
“I always thought you two looked good together,” Marco shared to his best friend and the bird-boy. “Jake was always a ‘knight in shining armor’ type of guy. And now, he’s got his pet hawk to complete the picture. But… Toby? I think the picture might be clearer if you were a horse instead.”
48. Virtuous
[Just how did you put up with Marco for so long?]
“He just takes some getting-used-to. Patience, that whole crap with it being a virtue. Either you have it or you don’t.”
49. Victory
“Okay, for this round…” Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “Tobias has the cuter morph. Where’d you get it anyway?”
“Well, if I told you, I’d have to keep Jake chained to my tree until I disperse the hot guys that gather there.”
50. Defeat
“Jake, is there a reason why you’re wearing a headband with large bunny ears and a shirt with your naked baby picture printed on it?” Erek asked.
Jake sighed. “You know that challenge with knotting a cherry stalk with only your mouth? Well, turns out that Tobias still has perfect control over his tongue despite the months in his hawk body. Now will you please hurry up with that hologram?!”
Well, watcha think?