(no subject)
Fandom: Real People - Super Junior
Pairing: Kim Kibum and Choi Siwon
Theme set: Delta
Rating: PG-13
#01 - Air
You think air is overrated, and breathing is too, and you should just be able to kiss Siwon on the couch forever.
#02 - Apples
His fingers are sticky with apple and honey when he presses them against your jaw, thumb rubbing over your lips, and when he presses you back against the table, your shoulder hits the bear shaped bottle of honey, and you can feel the plate of cut apples cold on the back of your neck, but you don’t care.
#03 - Beginning
The beginning, for you, is different than for him, and the reason for this is simple: conquest is different than love.
#04 - Bugs
His gaze itches on your back like a spider crawling up your spine, but you don’t turn around; if you give in, he’ll know that he has you.
#05 - Coffee
Watching him lounge on the sofa, you think that Siwon is just like coffee: highly addicting, not very healthy, and extremely popular.
#06 - Dark
Siwon’s eyes are dark, deep dark black, and he nudges his thigh between your legs, runs his tongue over your lower lip, teeth scraping gently, and you have nothing to do but give in.
#07 - Despair
You curl up on your sheets and you cry, you cry because you hurt and you don’t care about manliness and you can’t hold it inside anymore; you want him to hug you and comfort you and kiss your forehead, but right now he’s too busy fucking Hankyung in the shower to care.
#08 - Doors
You pause outside of his room, bare feet soft against the carpet, ear pressed up close but not actually touching the door, and you hear them laughing, hear the wet sound of their lips, hear the teeth of a zipper slowly separating; you want to open the door and see what happens, but instead you go to the kitchen, grab a bottle, retreat to your own room.
#09 - Drink
You like vodka, you decide, because once you mix it in the burn isn’t so bad, and once you’re drunk you don’t care about much of anything.
#10 - Duty
You know that you have rehearsal tomorrow, but all that matter right now is making the pain stop; you know it’s irresponsible, but you don’t care.
#11 - Earth
The earth is moving, you can feel it under your feet, and this is why, you’re sure, you fall twice on the way to your room.
#12 - End
It ends with one empty bottle of vodka, an open bottle of rum, six rushed conversations, and a hospitalization
#13 - Fall
You almost cry when you wake up to the blinding white room and beeping machines, knowing that you’ve fucked everything up, but you only actually cry when you notice him sleeping on the empty bed next to yours.
#14 - Fire
You want them to yell at you, you want their anger to excise you, but instead they just tell you that you won’t be performing for three months and that they’re disappointed but that everyone makes mistakes; it doesn’t make you feel better, and if anything it makes you feel worse.
#15 - Flexible
Keeping you from drinking again does nothing to solve the real problem, nothing at all, because you’ve still lost something you didn’t even really have in the first place, but you didn’t know until it was too late, and now there’s no numbness and there’s guilt and you try to bend under that weight, but you’re not sure how much longer you can hold it.
#16 - Flying
You lean your head out of your window, let the air brush your hair from your face, and think about escaping.
#17 - Food
You hate band meals, where someone cooks for all of you, and you sit around the table and pretend everything is okay; you can feel his eyes on you, but you never look up, you just push the food around on your plate and pretend you’re eating it.
#18 - Foot
You think he’s finally realized that he shouldn’t fuck his band mates, that sometimes they think it’s more than it is, and you try to keep at least a foot between the two of you at all times and wish he’d stop looking at you.
#19 - Grave
You’re glad when they finally take out the recycling, because the empty bottles are finally not staring you in the face every time you enter the kitchen, and you can pretend the whole thing never happened and that they didn’t have to empty everything into the sink and carry you out of the bathroom on a stretcher.
#20 - Green
You stare at all the green pill bottles lined up neatly in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and are grateful that you never made it that far.
#21 - Head
He hasn’t actually said a word to you since it happened, and you wonder if you just imagined that he’d cared enough to visit you in the hospital and you wonder if it’s just guilt.
#22 - Hollow
You watch them all go off to rehearsal, shows, performances, while you wait at home on the couch and it makes you feel guiltier that you can’t be there.
#23 - Honor
You think it’s fitting, really, that Hankyung is the first to hug you and tell you that it’s okay and that he’s sorry; you didn’t know how much you needed to hear that until just that moment, and you could’ve kissed him for it, but instead you just try not to cry on him too much.
#24 - Hope
You hate yourself for it, but every time Siwon touches you, the thought maybe, maybe this time runs through your head; so you turn away and pull your arm back, and try to pretend it didn’t.
#25 - Light
You wake up to blinding light, the sun streaming through the window, head pillowed on the armrest of the couch, and he’s sitting on the cushion by your feet and you don’t understand at all; you look up to him smiling at you, and you wish that he’d just make things clear so you could stop overanalyzing.
#26 - Lost
The first words he says to you are why did you do it? and it’s such a loaded question you don’t even know how to begin, so you just shake your head and look at your lap.
#27 - Metal
He grabs your hand and when you look up, he’s biting his lip, and you say it’s complicated because it is; you wonder, if he kissed you just then, would his mouth taste like copper and salt from his teeth worrying his lip, and would you mind?
#28 - New
He stops you on the way to your room, and you almost pull away, but he turns to you and says you terrify me, this terrifies me and you don’t know exactly what he’s talking about, but you have a good enough idea that it makes you suck in a quick breath.
#29 - Old
When he kisses you, it’s a second first and a continuation, and you’re uncertain enough of him that when he licks your lips you push him away; he looks almost hurt, but you just want him to promise he won’t destroy you again.
#30 - Peace
He touches your face with his palm, runs his thumb over your lips, and his face is full of wonder and fear; he whispers your name, and you try not to think that it sounds right on his lips.
#31 - Poison
You watch him, you watch the way he talks to them, and the way he smiles, and it doesn’t seem different; it keeps you wary, and you are not altogether sure this is a good thing.
#32 - Pretty
You appreciate a day alone in the park, where you can sit all day reading and not have to think about anything besides the warmth of the sun on your shoulders and the way the wind feels in your hair.
#33 - Rain
You love when it rains, when it pour down on your shoulders and your head, and when the water drips off the ends of you hair and runs down your face and over your lips; you love standing in the air conditioned hall, dripping on the floor, soaking the carpet, shivering at the cool air on your wet skin.
#34 - Regret
You regret saying nothing when it happened, because now you can’t bring it up and you’re still not sure if he knows exactly what he did to you.
#35 - Roses
They buy you flowers when management tells you that you’re allowed back to rehearsal, you come home to roses on the kitchen table and a note, you come home to eight arms around you and seven smiles and one hand pressing against the small of you’re back, and you can’t even thank them because you’re grinning too wide.
#36 - Secret
The truth is, you don’t think he meant it in the way that you took it; the truth is, that you think that half of it is your fault for even believing in the first place that he could want you; the truth is, you don’t believe that anymore.
#37 - Snakes
You think that love is a python; it wraps around your body and squeezes, squeezes until there is nothing left to squeeze and you are helplessly tangled in it.
#38 - Snow
You remember when it was winter and Siwon kissed you outside in the snow, standing under the giant oak tree in the park, his hands on your waist, and it’s moments like that which made you believe that he loved you.
#39 - Solid
The first day of rehearsal has your muscles aching and spasming and it’s wonderful; you stand in the shower for hours and just let the water run over your tense shoulders and you can’t wait to start again tomorrow.
#40 - Spring
He kisses you on the way to the van in the morning, a press of lips, quick and stealthy and you think you should smile and you shouldn’t laugh, but you do; it finally feels like spring.
#41 - Stable
He says I want you, I want you , only you, and I just want you to want me with his hands twined together and his teeth worrying at his lip, and you just grab his hand and say I do, I do, but you have to know that you can’t mess this up and it’s true and you mean it.
#42 - Strange
He kisses you like he’s missed you, and he touches you like he might never be able to again, all frenzied fingers and slightly salty skin; he clutches at you with starved hands and thighs and lips, pulls you down on top of him, and you don’t mind, and you think you believe him.
#43 - Summer
He pulls you outside by your hand, like it’s summer and you’re both eight years old, launching out of air conditioned houses to make believe that you are super heroes, and can do anything you can think of.
#44 - Taboo
You want to ask him why he wants you now and why he didn’t before and what made him change, but you don’t because you want him to tell you by himself.
#45 - Ugly
The smell of vodka makes you feel ill, and it just reminds you of how weak you were and how much worse things could have been.
#46 - War
You can’t help but be paranoid sometimes, you can help being wary of him, because a lifetime of habits are hard to change in the course of four months, but you don’t let it get out of hand, because there are some mistakes you’d rather not have repeated.
#47 - Water
The next time it rains, you pull him outside with you, and you run your hands through his wet hair, and kiss the rain from his lips, and he smiles at you in that genuine way he does, with his thumb pressed to his bottom lip and his slightly wrinkles nose.
#48 - Welcome
The first time he falls asleep in your bed, you stay awake just to watch him, and you wonder how this could possibly have happened; you pet his hair and watch as he smiles.
#49 - Winter
When it’s too cold to leave the house, you let him press you back against the couch, his head on your chest and his arms around your waist, and you realize it was never like this before, never, and when he asks you what you’re so happy about you just smile and shake your head.
#50 - Wood
You’re setting the kitchen table when he tells you that he loves you, and you almost drop your handful of forks; you press him back against the kitchen counter and kiss him, deciding that you can explain later why dinner is late.
Pairing: Kim Kibum and Choi Siwon
Theme set: Delta
Rating: PG-13
#01 - Air
You think air is overrated, and breathing is too, and you should just be able to kiss Siwon on the couch forever.
#02 - Apples
His fingers are sticky with apple and honey when he presses them against your jaw, thumb rubbing over your lips, and when he presses you back against the table, your shoulder hits the bear shaped bottle of honey, and you can feel the plate of cut apples cold on the back of your neck, but you don’t care.
#03 - Beginning
The beginning, for you, is different than for him, and the reason for this is simple: conquest is different than love.
#04 - Bugs
His gaze itches on your back like a spider crawling up your spine, but you don’t turn around; if you give in, he’ll know that he has you.
#05 - Coffee
Watching him lounge on the sofa, you think that Siwon is just like coffee: highly addicting, not very healthy, and extremely popular.
#06 - Dark
Siwon’s eyes are dark, deep dark black, and he nudges his thigh between your legs, runs his tongue over your lower lip, teeth scraping gently, and you have nothing to do but give in.
#07 - Despair
You curl up on your sheets and you cry, you cry because you hurt and you don’t care about manliness and you can’t hold it inside anymore; you want him to hug you and comfort you and kiss your forehead, but right now he’s too busy fucking Hankyung in the shower to care.
#08 - Doors
You pause outside of his room, bare feet soft against the carpet, ear pressed up close but not actually touching the door, and you hear them laughing, hear the wet sound of their lips, hear the teeth of a zipper slowly separating; you want to open the door and see what happens, but instead you go to the kitchen, grab a bottle, retreat to your own room.
#09 - Drink
You like vodka, you decide, because once you mix it in the burn isn’t so bad, and once you’re drunk you don’t care about much of anything.
#10 - Duty
You know that you have rehearsal tomorrow, but all that matter right now is making the pain stop; you know it’s irresponsible, but you don’t care.
#11 - Earth
The earth is moving, you can feel it under your feet, and this is why, you’re sure, you fall twice on the way to your room.
#12 - End
It ends with one empty bottle of vodka, an open bottle of rum, six rushed conversations, and a hospitalization
#13 - Fall
You almost cry when you wake up to the blinding white room and beeping machines, knowing that you’ve fucked everything up, but you only actually cry when you notice him sleeping on the empty bed next to yours.
#14 - Fire
You want them to yell at you, you want their anger to excise you, but instead they just tell you that you won’t be performing for three months and that they’re disappointed but that everyone makes mistakes; it doesn’t make you feel better, and if anything it makes you feel worse.
#15 - Flexible
Keeping you from drinking again does nothing to solve the real problem, nothing at all, because you’ve still lost something you didn’t even really have in the first place, but you didn’t know until it was too late, and now there’s no numbness and there’s guilt and you try to bend under that weight, but you’re not sure how much longer you can hold it.
#16 - Flying
You lean your head out of your window, let the air brush your hair from your face, and think about escaping.
#17 - Food
You hate band meals, where someone cooks for all of you, and you sit around the table and pretend everything is okay; you can feel his eyes on you, but you never look up, you just push the food around on your plate and pretend you’re eating it.
#18 - Foot
You think he’s finally realized that he shouldn’t fuck his band mates, that sometimes they think it’s more than it is, and you try to keep at least a foot between the two of you at all times and wish he’d stop looking at you.
#19 - Grave
You’re glad when they finally take out the recycling, because the empty bottles are finally not staring you in the face every time you enter the kitchen, and you can pretend the whole thing never happened and that they didn’t have to empty everything into the sink and carry you out of the bathroom on a stretcher.
#20 - Green
You stare at all the green pill bottles lined up neatly in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and are grateful that you never made it that far.
#21 - Head
He hasn’t actually said a word to you since it happened, and you wonder if you just imagined that he’d cared enough to visit you in the hospital and you wonder if it’s just guilt.
#22 - Hollow
You watch them all go off to rehearsal, shows, performances, while you wait at home on the couch and it makes you feel guiltier that you can’t be there.
#23 - Honor
You think it’s fitting, really, that Hankyung is the first to hug you and tell you that it’s okay and that he’s sorry; you didn’t know how much you needed to hear that until just that moment, and you could’ve kissed him for it, but instead you just try not to cry on him too much.
#24 - Hope
You hate yourself for it, but every time Siwon touches you, the thought maybe, maybe this time runs through your head; so you turn away and pull your arm back, and try to pretend it didn’t.
#25 - Light
You wake up to blinding light, the sun streaming through the window, head pillowed on the armrest of the couch, and he’s sitting on the cushion by your feet and you don’t understand at all; you look up to him smiling at you, and you wish that he’d just make things clear so you could stop overanalyzing.
#26 - Lost
The first words he says to you are why did you do it? and it’s such a loaded question you don’t even know how to begin, so you just shake your head and look at your lap.
#27 - Metal
He grabs your hand and when you look up, he’s biting his lip, and you say it’s complicated because it is; you wonder, if he kissed you just then, would his mouth taste like copper and salt from his teeth worrying his lip, and would you mind?
#28 - New
He stops you on the way to your room, and you almost pull away, but he turns to you and says you terrify me, this terrifies me and you don’t know exactly what he’s talking about, but you have a good enough idea that it makes you suck in a quick breath.
#29 - Old
When he kisses you, it’s a second first and a continuation, and you’re uncertain enough of him that when he licks your lips you push him away; he looks almost hurt, but you just want him to promise he won’t destroy you again.
#30 - Peace
He touches your face with his palm, runs his thumb over your lips, and his face is full of wonder and fear; he whispers your name, and you try not to think that it sounds right on his lips.
#31 - Poison
You watch him, you watch the way he talks to them, and the way he smiles, and it doesn’t seem different; it keeps you wary, and you are not altogether sure this is a good thing.
#32 - Pretty
You appreciate a day alone in the park, where you can sit all day reading and not have to think about anything besides the warmth of the sun on your shoulders and the way the wind feels in your hair.
#33 - Rain
You love when it rains, when it pour down on your shoulders and your head, and when the water drips off the ends of you hair and runs down your face and over your lips; you love standing in the air conditioned hall, dripping on the floor, soaking the carpet, shivering at the cool air on your wet skin.
#34 - Regret
You regret saying nothing when it happened, because now you can’t bring it up and you’re still not sure if he knows exactly what he did to you.
#35 - Roses
They buy you flowers when management tells you that you’re allowed back to rehearsal, you come home to roses on the kitchen table and a note, you come home to eight arms around you and seven smiles and one hand pressing against the small of you’re back, and you can’t even thank them because you’re grinning too wide.
#36 - Secret
The truth is, you don’t think he meant it in the way that you took it; the truth is, that you think that half of it is your fault for even believing in the first place that he could want you; the truth is, you don’t believe that anymore.
#37 - Snakes
You think that love is a python; it wraps around your body and squeezes, squeezes until there is nothing left to squeeze and you are helplessly tangled in it.
#38 - Snow
You remember when it was winter and Siwon kissed you outside in the snow, standing under the giant oak tree in the park, his hands on your waist, and it’s moments like that which made you believe that he loved you.
#39 - Solid
The first day of rehearsal has your muscles aching and spasming and it’s wonderful; you stand in the shower for hours and just let the water run over your tense shoulders and you can’t wait to start again tomorrow.
#40 - Spring
He kisses you on the way to the van in the morning, a press of lips, quick and stealthy and you think you should smile and you shouldn’t laugh, but you do; it finally feels like spring.
#41 - Stable
He says I want you, I want you , only you, and I just want you to want me with his hands twined together and his teeth worrying at his lip, and you just grab his hand and say I do, I do, but you have to know that you can’t mess this up and it’s true and you mean it.
#42 - Strange
He kisses you like he’s missed you, and he touches you like he might never be able to again, all frenzied fingers and slightly salty skin; he clutches at you with starved hands and thighs and lips, pulls you down on top of him, and you don’t mind, and you think you believe him.
#43 - Summer
He pulls you outside by your hand, like it’s summer and you’re both eight years old, launching out of air conditioned houses to make believe that you are super heroes, and can do anything you can think of.
#44 - Taboo
You want to ask him why he wants you now and why he didn’t before and what made him change, but you don’t because you want him to tell you by himself.
#45 - Ugly
The smell of vodka makes you feel ill, and it just reminds you of how weak you were and how much worse things could have been.
#46 - War
You can’t help but be paranoid sometimes, you can help being wary of him, because a lifetime of habits are hard to change in the course of four months, but you don’t let it get out of hand, because there are some mistakes you’d rather not have repeated.
#47 - Water
The next time it rains, you pull him outside with you, and you run your hands through his wet hair, and kiss the rain from his lips, and he smiles at you in that genuine way he does, with his thumb pressed to his bottom lip and his slightly wrinkles nose.
#48 - Welcome
The first time he falls asleep in your bed, you stay awake just to watch him, and you wonder how this could possibly have happened; you pet his hair and watch as he smiles.
#49 - Winter
When it’s too cold to leave the house, you let him press you back against the couch, his head on your chest and his arms around your waist, and you realize it was never like this before, never, and when he asks you what you’re so happy about you just smile and shake your head.
#50 - Wood
You’re setting the kitchen table when he tells you that he loves you, and you almost drop your handful of forks; you press him back against the kitchen counter and kiss him, deciding that you can explain later why dinner is late.