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Jul 22, 2006 17:03

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Lucius Malfoy x Sirius Black

Themeset: Beta

Rating: PG-13

Edit:  Posted this COMPLETELY the wrong way.  It was all OUTSIDE the cut.  Apologies for my general stupidity!

Last Summer

#01 - Walking

Sirius knows what the private parlor is for, and he knows what it means to be disowned; still, even after he realized he was cast out of the heir’s place, he had hoped they would let him enter on his feet instead of on his knees.

#02 - Waltz

Sex is like a dance to Lucius: with his young wife a delicate minuet, with his mistress a well-known waltz, with any other courtesan a passionate tango, and with this young cousin of his it’s something like the bruising dance of a fixed fight.

#03 - Wishes

It’s freezing in this room, despite the fact that it’s June, freezing and stuffy at once, and Sirius wishes Lucius hadn’t set fire to his clothes.

#04 - Wonder

For three days in the cage, with no food and a bowl of water he can’t seem to touch with his hands, Sirius has to wonder if Lucius is ever coming back, or if his punishment is to be more severe than he thought.

#05 - Worry

Lucius supposes Sirius’s friends will worry when the letters never come, but no one will think to look at Malfoy Manor for the disgraced son of the Blacks, because outside the old families few know the sort of punishment that a recalcitrant teenager can expect.

#06 - Whimsy

When he finally returns to the room where Sirius is locked away, he decrees that his cousin shall wear a collar until further notice.

#07 - Waste

Sirius remembers what Lucius said when he first arrived, several ice ages ago (or perhaps four days): "Clothes on you are a complete waste, Siri, so we’ll be dispensing with them."

#08 - Whiskey and Rum

Lucius is more than happy to let Sirius have a drink to take the edge off the pain of the first whipping, neglecting to mention that the liquor is spiked with potions: for submission, for pain, for lust.

#09 - War

Sirius hurls the tumbler against the wall when he realizes what he’s drinking, and fights pitched battle with himself not to beg for release.

#10 - Weddings

What Lucius wants is to create a marriage of discretion and shamelessness, so that Sirius will spread his legs for Lucius whenever he’s asked to, but he’ll never tell a soul.

#11 - Birthday

On the one-week anniversary of the day he was brought here, Sirius remembers what his mother said: "A Muggle-lover is no better than an animal, so if you’re not going to behave like a proper heir you’re going to find out what it is to be an animal."

#12 - Blessing

Lucius’s hands stroke oil over Sirius’s skin as though anointing a penitent, filling both their noses with the scents of sandalwood, vanilla and fear.

#13 - Bias

"You’re the best lay I’ve ever had," Lucius tells Sirius crudely, "though I suppose the screaming and the fact that I got you out of a cage to take you to my bed has something to do with that, hm?"

#14 - Burning

Every time Sirius is pushed or wrestled or dragged to Lucius’s room, and every time he is pinned or tied or chained to Lucius’s bed, he feels like a piece of his soul is struck into flame by their friction, and withers away like a wooden match.

#15 - Breathing

For twenty, thirty, forty seconds at a time, Lucius pulls the collar so tight that Sirius’s throat closes and his lungs sob for air.

#16 - Breaking

Sirius is determined to hold up, to be worthy of the friendship of the unbelievably brave James Potter and the inspiringly brave Remus Lupin, to be worthy of Peter’s admiration and the girls’ sighs, to live up to his reputation for courage and for sheer stubbornness, but there comes a point where he knows he’s going to snap.

#17 - Belief

He tries to believe that he can hold off the breaking point.

#18 - Balloon

This time, when Lucius pulls the collar crushingly tight, he buckles it, ties it to a short leash, and as the horrifying movements go on, Sirius feels himself rising, rising, rising into the sky like he’s slipped his string.

#19 - Balcony

When Sirius fully returns to himself, he’s in a chair which has been draped with a towel, to save the upholstery from his blood, on a high balcony with Lucius (who still has the stained riding crop resting on his knee) and Narcissa (who is laughing at his nudity, his collar, his red scars and the slavish way he replies "Yes, Master," as required, when Lucius offers to let Sirius eat from his hand.)

#20 - Bane

Sirius becomes used to all the instruments that make his life miserable: riding crop, dog whip, silver-headed ebony cane, paddle, belt and any number of toys that Lucius won’t tell him the names of.

#21 - Quiet

For a week Lucius places him under enforced silence, no words allowed to ask for water or food or the toilet or a blanket, or to say stop, Master, I’ll be good, stop or to say please - please - oh, God PLEASE! -

#22 - Quirks

Lucius is having an immense amount of fun this summer - for the first time he’s got a young, pretty boy-slave to fulfill every fantasy, to wear collars and leashes, to kneel or grovel or lick boots, to be made to scream or beg, to be punished or petted at the whim of his Master.

#23 - Question

"Do you want it?" Lucius asks, and "Do you want it, slut?" he asks, and "Do you want it, pet, toy, slave?" and "Answer me, whore, do you want it?" until Sirius has to scream "YES!"

#24 - Quarrel

Sirius argues with himself once he’s locked in his cage so Lucius can pursue other business, one side of his mind saying I’m a slut, I am truly, truly a slut now, and the other side saying, But he doesn’t own my soul, I still think on my own, I still believe I can get out of here, and the first side saying, But you haven’t tried to take that collar off in two weeks, you cringe when he shouts and sigh in relief when his voice is gentle, in what way does he not own you?

#25 - Quitting

Lucius may have to pay someone for this once Sirius is no longer useable; domination is addicting, and it’s an addiction he doesn’t want to be healed of.

#26 - Jump

When Lucius says "Crawl," Sirius falls to his knees with a Yes, Master, and when Lucius says "On your belly," Sirius’s Yes, Master is muffled in the carpet that his mouth is pressed to, and when Lucius says "On the bed," Sirius lies back, arranges himself as Lucius prefers, and says Yes, Master, and when Lucius says "Jump," Sirius whispers How high, Master?

#27 - Jester

Licking his cracked lips doesn’t help anymore because his mouth is drier than the air, so Sirius says please, Master, let your slave drink, let me drink so I can serve you as I should, please, merciful Master, please, and Lucius finally sets a dish of water on the floor, then when Sirius has crawled to the dish Lucius whisks it away and says, "Just joking, pet," and Sirius licks the spilled water from the floorboards - then Lucius lets him drink from the dish.

#28 - Jousting

Sirius no longer sees the point of refusing to participate in the daily sex, so it’s more than ever like the dance of combat.

#29 - Jewel

When Sirius’s mother inquires as to how her former son is holding up under the traditional punishment for young traitors, Lucius produces Sirius, tarted up with heavy, glittering eyeliner and a dusting of gold on his bare torso, a jeweled collar and gaudy diamond earrings in his (previously unpierced) ears, on a short leash sewn with gold, and says, "He is polishing up nicely, madam."

#30 - Just

Lucius tells Sirius that he should be grateful, as some masters would strike their pets for nothing, but Lucius punishes Sirius only when he has actually committed a fault - no matter if the punishment is as harsh as a needle shoved through his nipple for so slight a crime as wincing at the tight bondage, or eating a bag of whole onions like apples for the offense of poor posture, there is always actual misbehavior behind the punishment.

#31 - Smirk

When Lucius rewards Sirius’s obedience with an extra, brutal session on the black satin sheets, and expects fawning gratitude for the "reward," the gloating expression on his face makes Sirius sure that he could kill Lucius given the chance.

#32 - Sorrow

Sirius cries for the first time that summer sometime in late July.

#33 - Stupidity

Lucius is very angry when Sirius is idiotic or absentminded enough to actually call him Lucius, so he produces a bar of soap, washes the roof of the mouth, lathers the tongue, pays special attention to the teeth, and makes Sirius lie down for a strapping before he can rinse the soap away, because a mistake that stupid should not be repeated.

#34 - Serenade

When Sirius screams out loud as Lucius plays with the cane, it is music to Lucius’s ears.

#35 - Sarcasm

Right,
Sirius thinks to himself later, just playing along, of course, not really scared of him, just playing the game - not relieved or even pleased when he praises me - of course I’m just playing along, sure, right, of course.
#36 - Sordid

Sirius didn’t know there were so many horribly quirky sexual desires in the world - and neither did Lucius, he’s making it up as he goes, and what a delightful improvisation it is.

#37 - SoliloquyYes, yes, Master - yes, I’m a whore, I’m a whore for you - yes, I am a slut - oh, yes, Master, I like it, I do like it, I love every minute - I like it better when it hurts - please - Master, more - more - harder - and what hurts the worst is saying the things Lucius taught him to say.

#38 - Sojourn

When Lucius sends a house-elf for Sirius instead of coming himself, Sirius looks down the long hallway between the private parlor and Lucius’s bedroom, knowing exactly what is expected and steeling himself to do it, and when he finally does, he is cut by the amusement of the family portraits at the sight of a naked teenaged boy with the marks of many beatings from his neck to the backs of his knees, crawling on a long, horrible journey alone down the dark hall.

#39 - Share

"You know," said Lucius, "that your behavior with these others will reflect on your master - so make Master proud, Pet."

#40 - Solitary

His punishment over the debacle when Lucius tries to loan him out includes tearing rape, days bound in the same position, cleaning the private parlor with his tongue alone, kneeling on a scattering of uncooked rice while Lucius flicks the lash over his still-tender thighs, his collar now fastened so tightly it feels like breathing through a straw, and at last a week’s lonely confinement during which Sirius knows that if he doesn’t get out now, his soul will leave without him and only his slim, lovely young body will remain to obey Lucius’s commands.

#41 - Nowhere

He sits on a low wall in a little Muggle park, soaked through with summer rain, and remembers the terror of discovery as he made for the servants’ door at the side of the house, and doesn’t know where he is or where he is going.

#42 - Neutral

His friends were worried indeed, and he only tells James, "I got my own place, but I can’t pay the rent anymore," and so James welcomes Sirius even though Sirius can’t explain why he won’t sleep in James’s room, preferring the comforts of the couch.

#43 - Nuance

It takes a while for Sirius to start catching the unspoken bits of conversation again, and this worries James, and of course Sirius can’t explain that it’s because he’s become used to putting his attention on Lucius alone, learning from the twitch of his master’s expression or the slightest variation of his master’s tone how low to bend, how much to beg, how desperately to grovel.

#44 - Near

He can’t let anyone touch him or stand too close, or he has to move, and it’s another thing his friends don’t ask about, even though he can see the curiosity, the concern and sometimes the hurt in their eyes when he sidles away.

#45 - Natural

Eventually it gets better.

#46 - Horizon

And eventually, once time has done what it can for him, he can see a future again, and a past beyond his training to become what his mother and his master decreed he should be.

#47 - Valiant

Once he’s somewhat back to normal, he supposes it was very brave of him to have escaped, though he’s starting to think courage and stubbornness are just about the same thing.

#48 - Virtuous

No teacher ever catches on to the sinful things he does in the attempt to exorcise the memory - sneaking out to Hogsmeade to dance, to have sex, to drink until he can’t any more - but Remus, the eternal good boy, starts to look like he has an idea what’s going on here, and once hugs a reeling Sirius tight and whispers, "I’m so, so sorry," an event which they never mention again.

#49 - Victory

It’s a triumph, really, that he came through that relatively unscathed, and that he even came through twelve years in Azkaban - not unscathed, but not a madman either - it’s a great triumph - isn’t it?

#50 - Defeat

But the next time his eyes meet Lucius Malfoy’s, they are behind a mask, and he looks around him and sees the fruits of his interrupted life - his beloved godson Harry, his beloved friend Remus, the youngest Weasley boy who wrote him such an enthusiastic letter to thank him for the gift of the miniature owl, the people he’s tried so hard to contribute to as he scrubbed and disinfected in a cabin-fevered fury, and he’s thinking, My God what these people I love would think of me if they knew when something strikes his chest and a tattered cloth brushes past his face.

!set beta, harry potter

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