Banana Fish
Fandom: Banana Fish
Pairing: Ibé Shunichi x Okumura Eiji
Theme set: delta
Rating: PG-13
Love is a Battlefield
- an exercise in unrequited feelings
by Angela
08-06-06
#01 - Air
He flies through the air with a grace Ibé would find inconceivable, except that he's right there when the boy lands in a soft whoosh on the thick blue mat.
#02 - Apples
Ibé brings bento to that first practice, and for the rest of his life, he'll associate the taste of ripe apples with with track and field, with late-summer sunshine, with Eiji Okumura.
#03 - Beginning
It isn't until after the jump that Eiji finally smiles; Ibé's finger twitches on the button, the shutter flutters, the camera whirs, and his heart skips a beat.
#04 - Bugs
Instead of crushing the fly against the window pane, Eiji cups his hands and catches it, continuing the conversation even as he casually tips open the window and sets it free.
#05 - Coffee
When he comes back to the table, Ibé counts six torn sugar packets stashed beneath the empty mug where Eiji just finished his “straight black” coffee.
#06 - Dark
Eiji stares blankly into the dark end of twilight, his stark white sling even brighter than the fireflies in the garden.
#07 - Despair
He'll probably never jump again, the boy's mother's voice echoes in Ibé's mind as Eiji sits, uncaring even as snow gathers on his hair and shoulders.
#08 - Doors
Ibé senses the boy standing in the dark room beyond the shoji doors, listening as he coaxes the Okumuras into letting him take their son far away.
#09 - Drink
On the plane, Eiji throws back a tiny bottle of Southern Comfort, trying to appear casual even as he chokes and gasps at the fierce burn of alcohol.
#10 - Duty
When Eiji finally falls asleep, Ibé can barely control the urge to smooth his soft, shaggy hair, almost forgetting his duty as guardian in the face of the engulfing pull of his desire.
#11 - Earth
The plane skids into a painful landing at the JFK International Airport, and Eiji slips his panicked hand into Ibé's, making it suddenly difficult for the older man to worry at all about crashing.
#12 - End
It's not until they're halfway through the Circle Line ferry tour, gazing up at the Statue of Liberty that Eiji genuinely smiles, stealing Ibé's breath and letting him hope that maybe soon he'd see the end of his friend's melancholy.
#13 - Fall
New York City is famous for its autumn, but watching Eiji slowly come to life again, Ibé realizes that he'll always treasure that city's spring.
#14 - Fire
The gun looks cold and unnatural in Eiji's hand, and Ibé lowers his camera, unable to take the shot despite the amazing framing and perfect light and the presence of a beautiful, blond youth-gang legend standing close by.
#15 - Flexible
Blame works on a flexible scale; when Eiji was missing, Ibé blamed mostly himself because he took him into that seedy dive in the first place, but when Eiji is asleep in the hospital room, his arm bandaged and cheeks pale, the man finds himself irrationally blaming Ash Lynx - because he was there with him and didn't protect him completely.
#16 - Flying
Never in his life has Ibé been so glad to have a return ticket home than he is the day he brings Eiji back to their hotel room from the hospital.
#17 - Food
When Eiji comes out of the shower, flushed and damp and wearing just a pair of blue jeans, Ibé forgets his expensive room-service breakfast and realizes what true hunger really is.
#18 - Foot
Eiji is shaking, his cheeks streaming with tears over that boy, and Ibé is hopelessly searching for the right words to say, and before he can help himself, he nudges Eiji's sneaker with his foot and promises the one thing he absolutely doesn't want to - that they'll stay.
#19 - Grave
Sometimes Eiji's face sort of slips into the same kind of melancholy that inspired Ibé to bring him overseas in the first place, mostly after dusk when there's time to think, and only when he thinks no one's looking.
#20 - Green
He notices Ash Lynx's remarkable eyes only when they shift to follow Eiji's progress as he moves across the room.
#21 - Head
The way Ash slides his hand around the back of Eiji's head, the way he leans, the way he pushes his kiss onto Eiji's shocked and inexperienced lips - all this makes Ibé's pulse quicken with excitement and envy.
#22 - Hollow
Eiji runs off to the bathroom, flustered over his first kiss, and Ibé tries to continue his conversation with Charlie, but everything he hears seems to echo from far, far away.
#23 - Honor
Eiji's mother is delighted that her son is recovering so well in the United States and insists that they stay as long as they like; Ibé hangs up the phone with deep-rooted shame.
#24 - Hope
In his wallet Ibé keeps a picture - a snapshot of Eiji in a sweatshirt that says “Skywalker” and a smile that suggests happier times.
#25 - Light
Eiji squeals the car's tires as he and Ash tear away, leaving Charlie and Ibé with scrapes and bruises, the stench of New York garbage cans all over their clothes, and one last view of red tail lights.
#26 - Lost
Ibé is getting extremely tired of not knowing where Eiji is.
#27 - Metal
While cleaning Ash's and Shorter's wounds, Max says that it's amazing how such a tiny piece of metal can cause so much bleeding; Ibé is more concerned with the fact that Eiji apparently drank a bellyful of the Hudson River, reportedly the third most contaminated river in America.
#28 - New
These days there's a glow in Eiji's eyes that he's never seen before, an affectionate smile that plays around his lips that makes Ibé feel absolutely superfluous.
#29 - Old
Max and Ibé sit on the hood of the truck, drinking beer and watching Ash, Shorter, and Eiji play some kind of improvised game that involves a lot of running, tackling, and a good deal of laughter.
#30 - Peace
During those few days and nights in Cape Cod, everyone remembers how to smile, and it's almost possible to forget what they are running from.
#31 - Poison
Ibé watches as Jim Callenreese's story sinks into Eiji, changing him, and wishes for the millionth time that there was an antidote for that kind of poison.
#32 - Pretty
Ash slaps a mosquito on Eiji's knee; Eiji blushes prettily and Ibé notices that the blond's tidy motion of wiping away the bug has become a caress.
#33 - Rain
It's the roar of torrential rain on the roof that wakes Ibé, but what keeps him awake long after the rain subsides is the way Ash's low voice soothes a startled Eiji back to sleep.
#34 - Regret
In the hours that he is awake but unmoving, trapped in the frozen web of Yau-Si's poison, Ibé's mind sorts through all the things he didn't do to protect Eiji, lingering over the fact that he never told him how dear he is.
#35 - Roses
Golzine's mansion is filled with roses, and for the rest of his life, Ibé associates the scent of roses with blood.
#36 - Secret
In those dark hours, chained together in Golzine's basement, Max and Ibé share what might be their last confessions, and somehow the Japanese man is disappointed that Max isn't more surprised by his secret.
#37 - Snakes
The Hudson River snakes through the view from Max's apartment, where every morning Ibé stares across the city, wondering where Ash has hidden Eiji, and why no one sees fit to tell him.
#38 - Snow
Snow in New York comes earlier than in Tokyo, the first flurries quieting the night before Halloween.
#39 - Solid
Inspector Jenkins thought that this lead on Eiji's whereabouts was solid, but it leads to yet another dead end, and Ibé's intense disappointment is punctuated by a need to act, an overpowering desire to do something - anything - but wait around for new information.
#40 - Spring
It's Max's idea to do it, to infiltrate the psychiatric center and spring Ash out like a couple of heroic outlaws, and Ibé goes along with it because deep down he knows that they must stay near Ash, because it's just a matter of time until he and Eiji gravitate toward each other again.
#41 - Stable
Eiji's contrite and apologetic voice over the phone makes Ibé's legs tremble and he might've dropped the receiver except that Max puts a steadying arm around his shoulders.
#42 - Strange
When Max heads to the dock to meet Ash and Eiji, Ibé thinks he sees them still leaning against the rail on the highest level of the ferry; it starts back over the harbor before Max comes back, confused because they didn't arrive.
#43 - Summer
When he hears about the gunshot wound, Ibé thinks of that summer, and how ridiculous it seemed that Ash would ever need to teach Eiji how to shoot.
#44 - Taboo
While Eiji sleeps soundly in that huge, luxurious bed, Ibé leans down and presses a covert kiss onto his feverish mouth, not caring about the consequences should Eiji wake, or should his young keeper turn his fierce green eyes in their direction.
#45 - Ugly
Ash tells him off in that cocky tone he usually reserves for Max, and Ibé shoves the boy's shoulder harder than he intends and reminds him who is the kid and who is the adult, and it looks like Ash is going to take a swing at him before Eiji steps between them, holding Ash's fist and putting his palm flat on Ibé's chest, rendering them both speechless and ashamed.
#46 - War
“Love is a battlefield,” the woman sings in an American song that seems to be playing everywhere, and Ibé raises his glass to the radio before gulping down another shot of whiskey.
#47 - Water
“Can I have a glass of water?” Eiji's voice rasps after too much deep sleep, and when Ibé hands him the glass, he smiles sweetly but then, when Eiji asks where Ash went, Ibé doesn't want to erase that smile to explain that he's gone.
#48 - Welcome
“But I cannot come away with you,” Eiji says, forgetting even to speak Japanese in his surprise that Ibé would suggest such a thing, “because I must be here when Ash comes home.”
#49 - Winter
January is a month of sleet and bitter rain, and Ibé avoids the Fifth Avenue apartment, aware that Eiji and the gang are planning something huge and dangerous to rescue Ash but knowing that these days, anyone Eiji looks at is barely even a shadow of who he longs to see.
#50 - Wood
Somewhere in South America, a tree died for its wood, and that wood became pulp, then the pulp became paper that was shipped to New York to become the newsprint that Ibé reads Sunday morning, discovering that, on the previous night, Dino Golzine was shot by a young Asian waiter with an unsteady hand.
Pairing: Ibé Shunichi x Okumura Eiji
Theme set: delta
Rating: PG-13
Love is a Battlefield
- an exercise in unrequited feelings
by Angela
08-06-06
#01 - Air
He flies through the air with a grace Ibé would find inconceivable, except that he's right there when the boy lands in a soft whoosh on the thick blue mat.
#02 - Apples
Ibé brings bento to that first practice, and for the rest of his life, he'll associate the taste of ripe apples with with track and field, with late-summer sunshine, with Eiji Okumura.
#03 - Beginning
It isn't until after the jump that Eiji finally smiles; Ibé's finger twitches on the button, the shutter flutters, the camera whirs, and his heart skips a beat.
#04 - Bugs
Instead of crushing the fly against the window pane, Eiji cups his hands and catches it, continuing the conversation even as he casually tips open the window and sets it free.
#05 - Coffee
When he comes back to the table, Ibé counts six torn sugar packets stashed beneath the empty mug where Eiji just finished his “straight black” coffee.
#06 - Dark
Eiji stares blankly into the dark end of twilight, his stark white sling even brighter than the fireflies in the garden.
#07 - Despair
He'll probably never jump again, the boy's mother's voice echoes in Ibé's mind as Eiji sits, uncaring even as snow gathers on his hair and shoulders.
#08 - Doors
Ibé senses the boy standing in the dark room beyond the shoji doors, listening as he coaxes the Okumuras into letting him take their son far away.
#09 - Drink
On the plane, Eiji throws back a tiny bottle of Southern Comfort, trying to appear casual even as he chokes and gasps at the fierce burn of alcohol.
#10 - Duty
When Eiji finally falls asleep, Ibé can barely control the urge to smooth his soft, shaggy hair, almost forgetting his duty as guardian in the face of the engulfing pull of his desire.
#11 - Earth
The plane skids into a painful landing at the JFK International Airport, and Eiji slips his panicked hand into Ibé's, making it suddenly difficult for the older man to worry at all about crashing.
#12 - End
It's not until they're halfway through the Circle Line ferry tour, gazing up at the Statue of Liberty that Eiji genuinely smiles, stealing Ibé's breath and letting him hope that maybe soon he'd see the end of his friend's melancholy.
#13 - Fall
New York City is famous for its autumn, but watching Eiji slowly come to life again, Ibé realizes that he'll always treasure that city's spring.
#14 - Fire
The gun looks cold and unnatural in Eiji's hand, and Ibé lowers his camera, unable to take the shot despite the amazing framing and perfect light and the presence of a beautiful, blond youth-gang legend standing close by.
#15 - Flexible
Blame works on a flexible scale; when Eiji was missing, Ibé blamed mostly himself because he took him into that seedy dive in the first place, but when Eiji is asleep in the hospital room, his arm bandaged and cheeks pale, the man finds himself irrationally blaming Ash Lynx - because he was there with him and didn't protect him completely.
#16 - Flying
Never in his life has Ibé been so glad to have a return ticket home than he is the day he brings Eiji back to their hotel room from the hospital.
#17 - Food
When Eiji comes out of the shower, flushed and damp and wearing just a pair of blue jeans, Ibé forgets his expensive room-service breakfast and realizes what true hunger really is.
#18 - Foot
Eiji is shaking, his cheeks streaming with tears over that boy, and Ibé is hopelessly searching for the right words to say, and before he can help himself, he nudges Eiji's sneaker with his foot and promises the one thing he absolutely doesn't want to - that they'll stay.
#19 - Grave
Sometimes Eiji's face sort of slips into the same kind of melancholy that inspired Ibé to bring him overseas in the first place, mostly after dusk when there's time to think, and only when he thinks no one's looking.
#20 - Green
He notices Ash Lynx's remarkable eyes only when they shift to follow Eiji's progress as he moves across the room.
#21 - Head
The way Ash slides his hand around the back of Eiji's head, the way he leans, the way he pushes his kiss onto Eiji's shocked and inexperienced lips - all this makes Ibé's pulse quicken with excitement and envy.
#22 - Hollow
Eiji runs off to the bathroom, flustered over his first kiss, and Ibé tries to continue his conversation with Charlie, but everything he hears seems to echo from far, far away.
#23 - Honor
Eiji's mother is delighted that her son is recovering so well in the United States and insists that they stay as long as they like; Ibé hangs up the phone with deep-rooted shame.
#24 - Hope
In his wallet Ibé keeps a picture - a snapshot of Eiji in a sweatshirt that says “Skywalker” and a smile that suggests happier times.
#25 - Light
Eiji squeals the car's tires as he and Ash tear away, leaving Charlie and Ibé with scrapes and bruises, the stench of New York garbage cans all over their clothes, and one last view of red tail lights.
#26 - Lost
Ibé is getting extremely tired of not knowing where Eiji is.
#27 - Metal
While cleaning Ash's and Shorter's wounds, Max says that it's amazing how such a tiny piece of metal can cause so much bleeding; Ibé is more concerned with the fact that Eiji apparently drank a bellyful of the Hudson River, reportedly the third most contaminated river in America.
#28 - New
These days there's a glow in Eiji's eyes that he's never seen before, an affectionate smile that plays around his lips that makes Ibé feel absolutely superfluous.
#29 - Old
Max and Ibé sit on the hood of the truck, drinking beer and watching Ash, Shorter, and Eiji play some kind of improvised game that involves a lot of running, tackling, and a good deal of laughter.
#30 - Peace
During those few days and nights in Cape Cod, everyone remembers how to smile, and it's almost possible to forget what they are running from.
#31 - Poison
Ibé watches as Jim Callenreese's story sinks into Eiji, changing him, and wishes for the millionth time that there was an antidote for that kind of poison.
#32 - Pretty
Ash slaps a mosquito on Eiji's knee; Eiji blushes prettily and Ibé notices that the blond's tidy motion of wiping away the bug has become a caress.
#33 - Rain
It's the roar of torrential rain on the roof that wakes Ibé, but what keeps him awake long after the rain subsides is the way Ash's low voice soothes a startled Eiji back to sleep.
#34 - Regret
In the hours that he is awake but unmoving, trapped in the frozen web of Yau-Si's poison, Ibé's mind sorts through all the things he didn't do to protect Eiji, lingering over the fact that he never told him how dear he is.
#35 - Roses
Golzine's mansion is filled with roses, and for the rest of his life, Ibé associates the scent of roses with blood.
#36 - Secret
In those dark hours, chained together in Golzine's basement, Max and Ibé share what might be their last confessions, and somehow the Japanese man is disappointed that Max isn't more surprised by his secret.
#37 - Snakes
The Hudson River snakes through the view from Max's apartment, where every morning Ibé stares across the city, wondering where Ash has hidden Eiji, and why no one sees fit to tell him.
#38 - Snow
Snow in New York comes earlier than in Tokyo, the first flurries quieting the night before Halloween.
#39 - Solid
Inspector Jenkins thought that this lead on Eiji's whereabouts was solid, but it leads to yet another dead end, and Ibé's intense disappointment is punctuated by a need to act, an overpowering desire to do something - anything - but wait around for new information.
#40 - Spring
It's Max's idea to do it, to infiltrate the psychiatric center and spring Ash out like a couple of heroic outlaws, and Ibé goes along with it because deep down he knows that they must stay near Ash, because it's just a matter of time until he and Eiji gravitate toward each other again.
#41 - Stable
Eiji's contrite and apologetic voice over the phone makes Ibé's legs tremble and he might've dropped the receiver except that Max puts a steadying arm around his shoulders.
#42 - Strange
When Max heads to the dock to meet Ash and Eiji, Ibé thinks he sees them still leaning against the rail on the highest level of the ferry; it starts back over the harbor before Max comes back, confused because they didn't arrive.
#43 - Summer
When he hears about the gunshot wound, Ibé thinks of that summer, and how ridiculous it seemed that Ash would ever need to teach Eiji how to shoot.
#44 - Taboo
While Eiji sleeps soundly in that huge, luxurious bed, Ibé leans down and presses a covert kiss onto his feverish mouth, not caring about the consequences should Eiji wake, or should his young keeper turn his fierce green eyes in their direction.
#45 - Ugly
Ash tells him off in that cocky tone he usually reserves for Max, and Ibé shoves the boy's shoulder harder than he intends and reminds him who is the kid and who is the adult, and it looks like Ash is going to take a swing at him before Eiji steps between them, holding Ash's fist and putting his palm flat on Ibé's chest, rendering them both speechless and ashamed.
#46 - War
“Love is a battlefield,” the woman sings in an American song that seems to be playing everywhere, and Ibé raises his glass to the radio before gulping down another shot of whiskey.
#47 - Water
“Can I have a glass of water?” Eiji's voice rasps after too much deep sleep, and when Ibé hands him the glass, he smiles sweetly but then, when Eiji asks where Ash went, Ibé doesn't want to erase that smile to explain that he's gone.
#48 - Welcome
“But I cannot come away with you,” Eiji says, forgetting even to speak Japanese in his surprise that Ibé would suggest such a thing, “because I must be here when Ash comes home.”
#49 - Winter
January is a month of sleet and bitter rain, and Ibé avoids the Fifth Avenue apartment, aware that Eiji and the gang are planning something huge and dangerous to rescue Ash but knowing that these days, anyone Eiji looks at is barely even a shadow of who he longs to see.
#50 - Wood
Somewhere in South America, a tree died for its wood, and that wood became pulp, then the pulp became paper that was shipped to New York to become the newsprint that Ibé reads Sunday morning, discovering that, on the previous night, Dino Golzine was shot by a young Asian waiter with an unsteady hand.